Post by Dave D-Flipz on Feb 22, 2022 23:59:08 GMT -5
Tucker: Merric… are you the best wrestler in the world?
*Aiden spits out his drink all over Tucker Bernard’s face. As the foam of the Bastard Brew settle in Tucker’s beard, Aiden lets out a hearty belly laugh.*
Merric: Is that what they’re saying these days? I get lost in the wilderness and lose to my favorite Sheila … by decision mind you … and they say I’m the best wrestler? HAHAHAHA! Oh man. Thanks for that right ace chuckle!
*Aiden wipes a tear from his eye before sipping his beer again. As if wary of another impromptu shower, Tucker slowly leans back into his armchair. He considers his words.*
Tucker: Well actually, it’s what that gremlin of a man said you would say. Dancing? Think his name is Dancing?
Merric: Oh you mean the opponent for my Reign debut in Mexico? I ain’t afraid of getting another go at Lord Dominicus! I owe him some receipts! … Dancing? Why would he be going by that?
*Aiden pulls out his phone and stands up. As he paces around his room, we see the familiar setting of his mobile hunter’s lodge. Aiden paces past his trophy wall. He hums as he scrolls his phone. He places his hand on the sideburns of Tarrasque and strokes them as he reads the phone. He cocks an eyebrow up and whistles. He puts his phone in his pocket and begins to toss another phone he has in his trophy wall in the air as he turns to Tucker. The phone is the one he smuggled into the prison for Erin Gordon. He hasn’t cleaned it…*
Merric: Your information is wrong again, Tucker. I thought I taught you better than this on how to prepare for a hunt.
Tucker: Why is that MY fault? You’re the one fighting! You’re the one who signed up for this.
*Aiden leans in close, sneering, holding the phone close to Tucker’s face. Tucker’s moustache hair contorting as he wrinkles his nose in horror and disgust*
Merric: And who tricked me into SIGNING up for this? Who got me to sign a contract under the guise of it being a worker’s comp settlement for Mongo abandoning me in the wilds of South BLOODY CAROLINA!?
Tucker: I uh … retract the statement.
Merric: DONZIG. His name is Donzig. And he isn’t even Lord Dominicus, so all my prep has been wasted. Bloody fantastic. This whole situation turning to bull dust. I should have known I’d come a guster if I relied on you for anything. I bet you’re why Erin hasn’t called me yet!
Tucker: Did you … did you give her your number? Or get hers?
*Aiden blinks a few times and his hand drops to his side and the phone falls to the floor.*
Merric: NOT THE POINT!
*He rages away from Tucker and puts the phone back in the trophy case.*
Merric: Tucker, this is not ideal. As we both know, preparation is my bread and butter. It’s how I survive, and thrive, in a world where I natively would not be. I am not the best wrestler in the world. I barely know how to do more than punch people. My only saving grace is that this Donzig apparently thinks I’m amazing, so he clearly is not the most skilled in the ring either. Likely a brawler or …
Tucker: …a bit of a loony, actually.
*Aiden grabs the remote and turns on the telly. He sits down next to Tucker and he begins watching some tape of Donzig, as well as the Reign promo cycle. He of course takes breaks frequently to watch Erin Gordon’s promos from Tapout, and to look out his window … at the farm of Erin Gordon, where he has seemingly parked his hunter lodge. The only reason, he can surmise, that Erin hasn’t come out to see him is her busy-ness with Tapout, and her son finding this whole scenario hilarious and not informing her of the poorly camouflaged hunter lodge among her animals.*
Tucker: Does he not understand how wrestling cards are made, Aiden? He seems to think you willingly set out to hunt him.
Merric: Bloody hell, why would I do that? The man’s not worth a lick. He’s a bit of a drongo if you ask me. Certainly no layabout, but then being everywhere and doing a fat crock of nothing will buy you a dingo’s breakfast. He’s a dill, Tuck. A nutter. A right beaut of a fight, but not much else.
*Aiden strokes his stubbly chin.*
Tucker: He surely thinks he’s better than you. I mean, he seems the type to be pretty self-absorbed in his own head.
Merric: Better than me? He’s never fought me. He’s never been in the same room as me. And last I checked I was the one competing for the X*Crown title at Night of Champions. I am the two time Phoenix champ and the LONGEST REIGNING CHAMP by nature of never being eaten by a bear! Hell, I somehow wrestled inside a bear!
Tucker: Are you sure that wasn’t a fever dream caused by food poisoning from that rotten roo steak you ate?
*Aiden ponders*
Merric: I SWEAR I saw the fight air on the network. Didn’t I?
*TuckerDonzigthinks Dominithinks.*
Merric: Regardless, this is not about who did what in the past. This is the first of likely any battles between two blokes who love a good fight. I can respect that. And the man keeps good company. Sort of. I mean, what does it say about his actual ability if he needs a warrior woman completely enthralled with him and two big meatsacks just to be imposing to other fellas?
Tucker: It says that he is strong enough to command the respect of two large beefy men to do his bidding!
*Aiden scoffs and waves his arm in a dismissive motion*
Merric: Bloody hell he has you tricked. All he is doing is holding American citizenship over their heads as collateral. What it really shows is he isn’t man enough to handle his own fights. I mean look what he’s doing in … that other place that used to be on the network. More beefy bois to send out as the fodder so he can stay out of the fight until he has an advantage. Now look at me? I ALSO manage to have a warrior woman completely enthralled with me …
*Tucker stifles a chuckle. Aiden glares at him and raises an eyebrow.*
Merric: …but I don’t need some meatballs by my side to protect me. I can handle myself just fine. In fact the company I keep tends to be more a liability to me than anything!
Tucker: BAHAHA Got that right … … … wait a bloody second.
*Aiden laughs and sits back down. He strokes his chin and then tents his hands as he looks into the camera*
Merric: Donzig, you can underestimate me at your own peril. I am not going to pretend to be some savant, some God, or some otherworldly presence. But then this is wrestling buddy. All I need to do is out lucha you. Get that One Two Three. You keep thinking in these grand designs and pontifications. Me? I’ll stick to what works. Hitting you really hard until you stop moving. If you’re lucky some green group will protest me for the violence I inflict on you. I may not be the fight you thought you wanted. But when all is said and done. I’ll be adding that plate to my title collection. And then I’ll take all the rest. As is my right as spoils of the hunt. And then you can consult the voices in your head, stare into your mask, look into the void … whatever you need to do to get over this decimation. Because in the end, I will do what I have to do to win. Fuck the extraneous shit about scourges and Mexican deities. Bring your all, after all you claim to be inevitable. So I best be prepared.
*Aiden slips on his hunting glove, the metal studs on each finger glistening like gemstones. He holds the fist to the camera and it seems to glow into the infinity of the hunting lodge and Gordon Farm!*
Merric: You are inevitable? Well Donzig. I … am Aussie Man.
*Aiden snaps and the camera abruptly cuts off.*
...
Tucker: … Really?
*Aiden spits out his drink all over Tucker Bernard’s face. As the foam of the Bastard Brew settle in Tucker’s beard, Aiden lets out a hearty belly laugh.*
Merric: Is that what they’re saying these days? I get lost in the wilderness and lose to my favorite Sheila … by decision mind you … and they say I’m the best wrestler? HAHAHAHA! Oh man. Thanks for that right ace chuckle!
*Aiden wipes a tear from his eye before sipping his beer again. As if wary of another impromptu shower, Tucker slowly leans back into his armchair. He considers his words.*
Tucker: Well actually, it’s what that gremlin of a man said you would say. Dancing? Think his name is Dancing?
Merric: Oh you mean the opponent for my Reign debut in Mexico? I ain’t afraid of getting another go at Lord Dominicus! I owe him some receipts! … Dancing? Why would he be going by that?
*Aiden pulls out his phone and stands up. As he paces around his room, we see the familiar setting of his mobile hunter’s lodge. Aiden paces past his trophy wall. He hums as he scrolls his phone. He places his hand on the sideburns of Tarrasque and strokes them as he reads the phone. He cocks an eyebrow up and whistles. He puts his phone in his pocket and begins to toss another phone he has in his trophy wall in the air as he turns to Tucker. The phone is the one he smuggled into the prison for Erin Gordon. He hasn’t cleaned it…*
Merric: Your information is wrong again, Tucker. I thought I taught you better than this on how to prepare for a hunt.
Tucker: Why is that MY fault? You’re the one fighting! You’re the one who signed up for this.
*Aiden leans in close, sneering, holding the phone close to Tucker’s face. Tucker’s moustache hair contorting as he wrinkles his nose in horror and disgust*
Merric: And who tricked me into SIGNING up for this? Who got me to sign a contract under the guise of it being a worker’s comp settlement for Mongo abandoning me in the wilds of South BLOODY CAROLINA!?
Tucker: I uh … retract the statement.
Merric: DONZIG. His name is Donzig. And he isn’t even Lord Dominicus, so all my prep has been wasted. Bloody fantastic. This whole situation turning to bull dust. I should have known I’d come a guster if I relied on you for anything. I bet you’re why Erin hasn’t called me yet!
Tucker: Did you … did you give her your number? Or get hers?
*Aiden blinks a few times and his hand drops to his side and the phone falls to the floor.*
Merric: NOT THE POINT!
*He rages away from Tucker and puts the phone back in the trophy case.*
Merric: Tucker, this is not ideal. As we both know, preparation is my bread and butter. It’s how I survive, and thrive, in a world where I natively would not be. I am not the best wrestler in the world. I barely know how to do more than punch people. My only saving grace is that this Donzig apparently thinks I’m amazing, so he clearly is not the most skilled in the ring either. Likely a brawler or …
Tucker: …a bit of a loony, actually.
*Aiden grabs the remote and turns on the telly. He sits down next to Tucker and he begins watching some tape of Donzig, as well as the Reign promo cycle. He of course takes breaks frequently to watch Erin Gordon’s promos from Tapout, and to look out his window … at the farm of Erin Gordon, where he has seemingly parked his hunter lodge. The only reason, he can surmise, that Erin hasn’t come out to see him is her busy-ness with Tapout, and her son finding this whole scenario hilarious and not informing her of the poorly camouflaged hunter lodge among her animals.*
Tucker: Does he not understand how wrestling cards are made, Aiden? He seems to think you willingly set out to hunt him.
Merric: Bloody hell, why would I do that? The man’s not worth a lick. He’s a bit of a drongo if you ask me. Certainly no layabout, but then being everywhere and doing a fat crock of nothing will buy you a dingo’s breakfast. He’s a dill, Tuck. A nutter. A right beaut of a fight, but not much else.
*Aiden strokes his stubbly chin.*
Tucker: He surely thinks he’s better than you. I mean, he seems the type to be pretty self-absorbed in his own head.
Merric: Better than me? He’s never fought me. He’s never been in the same room as me. And last I checked I was the one competing for the X*Crown title at Night of Champions. I am the two time Phoenix champ and the LONGEST REIGNING CHAMP by nature of never being eaten by a bear! Hell, I somehow wrestled inside a bear!
Tucker: Are you sure that wasn’t a fever dream caused by food poisoning from that rotten roo steak you ate?
*Aiden ponders*
Merric: I SWEAR I saw the fight air on the network. Didn’t I?
*Tucker
Merric: Regardless, this is not about who did what in the past. This is the first of likely any battles between two blokes who love a good fight. I can respect that. And the man keeps good company. Sort of. I mean, what does it say about his actual ability if he needs a warrior woman completely enthralled with him and two big meatsacks just to be imposing to other fellas?
Tucker: It says that he is strong enough to command the respect of two large beefy men to do his bidding!
*Aiden scoffs and waves his arm in a dismissive motion*
Merric: Bloody hell he has you tricked. All he is doing is holding American citizenship over their heads as collateral. What it really shows is he isn’t man enough to handle his own fights. I mean look what he’s doing in … that other place that used to be on the network. More beefy bois to send out as the fodder so he can stay out of the fight until he has an advantage. Now look at me? I ALSO manage to have a warrior woman completely enthralled with me …
*Tucker stifles a chuckle. Aiden glares at him and raises an eyebrow.*
Merric: …but I don’t need some meatballs by my side to protect me. I can handle myself just fine. In fact the company I keep tends to be more a liability to me than anything!
Tucker: BAHAHA Got that right … … … wait a bloody second.
*Aiden laughs and sits back down. He strokes his chin and then tents his hands as he looks into the camera*
Merric: Donzig, you can underestimate me at your own peril. I am not going to pretend to be some savant, some God, or some otherworldly presence. But then this is wrestling buddy. All I need to do is out lucha you. Get that One Two Three. You keep thinking in these grand designs and pontifications. Me? I’ll stick to what works. Hitting you really hard until you stop moving. If you’re lucky some green group will protest me for the violence I inflict on you. I may not be the fight you thought you wanted. But when all is said and done. I’ll be adding that plate to my title collection. And then I’ll take all the rest. As is my right as spoils of the hunt. And then you can consult the voices in your head, stare into your mask, look into the void … whatever you need to do to get over this decimation. Because in the end, I will do what I have to do to win. Fuck the extraneous shit about scourges and Mexican deities. Bring your all, after all you claim to be inevitable. So I best be prepared.
*Aiden slips on his hunting glove, the metal studs on each finger glistening like gemstones. He holds the fist to the camera and it seems to glow into the infinity of the hunting lodge and Gordon Farm!*
Merric: You are inevitable? Well Donzig. I … am Aussie Man.
*Aiden snaps and the camera abruptly cuts off.*
...
Tucker: … Really?