CWF WarZone: Pilot - ‘Beauty Versus The Beast’

[Deleted]

The sun is setting as we look out over Rio de Janeiro. The water practically meets the city, adding to the mystique as Rio’s legendary night life springs into being. Starting low, the introduction to ‘War Pigs’ by Black Sabbath begins as we transition from the bright lights to a dark and dingy warehouse, which for tonight transforms into…the WarZone! Sirens cast a cascading red light over the vast and unsettling space while the song truly begins. Generals gathered in their masses Just like witches at black masses Evil minds that plot destruction Sorcerer of death's construction Bathed in the red glow of the sirens, the pop of pyro echoes alongside the blaring song as fire erupts from the stage drawing attention to the entrance. A lone man stands in the entrance, looking out over what he has created. Dressed in a dark suit, a tinge of grey is creeping up the sides of his hair. Sunglasses shield his eyes from the glow of the flames. In the fields, the bodies burning As the war machine keeps turning An excited voice comes through the P.A. system. “Welcome to Conquest Wrestling Federation! The suit clad man stretches his arms out as Ozzy says ‘As the war machine keeps turning’ and blasts of fireworks erupt around the WarZone lighting up the space for the first time to reveal a completely empty space. Pyro and flames dominate the apparently unused warehouse. Pallets, plastic wrap, tool boxes and jacks litter the space and add an air of danger within the malicious space hosting the WarZone. Death and hatred to mankind Poisoning their brainwashed minds Oh lord, yeah! The man starts walking to the ring to the beat of the song, looking around he nods approvingly as he walks toward the ringside area. It’s as though the man can see something that we can’t. As though he can see a packed house filled with fans foaming at the mouth, they would be ready for a new revolution within professional wrestling…no! Not just a revolution; they would be ready for Conquest! Circling the ring once, he’s taking it all in, making sure the details are taken care of; the steps, the canvas, the ring skirt. All of it had to be just right. This was their chance! This would be ‘it’, the run that defined his time in this insane business! If this show went well, the XHF Network would pick them up. If he pulled off this pilot show, they’d get their chance to shine… Waking up and steps and entering the ring, there is a sense of urgency in the air. The roster of “day one” wrestlers, not sports entertainer, were ready. Producing a microphone from his jacket, it was time… ???? – My name is Joey Lazarus and I am…a visionary! Tonight I bring to you a new age of professional wrestling, tonight I begin the Conquest! Tonight you can say you were in on the ground floor, you were there for the beginning! First, let me invite our ring announcer and commentary teams out. Eric Wilson, Ben Price, Eddie Vega, Juan Peñas and Only Ichi. One by one, a line of men make their way to ringside as CWF’s Ring Announcer, Commentary Team, and International Commentary Team make their way to their posts, a pair of tables placed at ringside. A set of monitors adorn each of the tables but nothing else, not even a table cloth…everything truly hinged on tonight! Until that XHF contract was in hand, no unnecessary expenses were approved. Joey Lazarus – Now, we’re coming to you from an undisclosed location here in Rio but we’re streaming the action directly to you via the newest social media craze that’s taking over the internet…FaceTwatter! We’ve got four action packed matches and our roster is chomping at the bit to get into this very ring and do what they do best for you…violence! Four matches to show you, the fans of the XHF Network, why you should #JoinTheConquest! Letting his words echo through the makeshift WarZone that would be the site of this Pilot Episode, Lazarus looks around one last time. Joey Lazarus – Whatever you fight for, you can find it in Conquest Wrestling Federation, Fame, money, Championships. We have it all, if you’re willing to fight for it! But that’s not all! To show you I’m serious and just in case my roster of fighters need additional motivation…I’m offering a special reward to whomever impresses me the most! Money! Twenty five thousand dollars…cold…hard…cash… A smirk crosses Laz’ face. Joey Lazarus – Now, you’re probably thinking “Laz’, why would you have twenty five thousand dollars in this neighbourhood?” Because I have the ultimate insurance policy! Every emperor had a general, now allow me to introduce mine! Former Serzantas Majoras of the Lithuanian Land Force. Decorated combat soldier. Former LLF basic training instructor. A man so mean, he received an honourable discharge amid accusations of extreme cruelty! And he answers to one man…me! I give to you, my General in this Conquest!!! Head of CWF Security, Kestas Kasuba! ‘Du Hast’ by Rammstein reverberates throughout the WarZone as a mountain of a man holding a steel Halliburton briefcase appears on stage. Pausing only momentarily to twist his neck side to side, the snarling Kasuba makes his way to the ring to shake hands with and stand beside, the boss as the music fades. Cracking open the briefcase to let the ‘Benjamins’ breathe, it’s truly a beautiful sight. Tightly packed into the briefcase, the money reflects in Laz’ sunglasses as he smiles. Joey Lazarus – With me at the helm and my General at my side keeping the gladiators and peasants in line, great things are sure to follow! It’s time to #JoinTheConquest! Slamming the briefcase shut, Kestas Kasuba holds the ropes for Laz’ as they exit the ring and make their way to an old, dusty office with Lazarus slamming the door shut behind them! Ben Price – Well folks, that was our illustrious leader, Joey Lazarus and his ‘General’ Kestas Kasuba and indeed it’s time to #JoinTheConquest, welcome to this Pilot episode see of CWF: WarZone! I’m Ben Price and with me here at the main booth is the one and only, ‘Fast’ Eddie Vega! Eddie Vega – Hey yo, quit suckin’ up to the boss Price, you ain’t getting any of that cash! That money is gonna be earned by someone’s blood sweat and tears here tonight! Ben Price – You’re absolutely right, Laz’ is starting out by offering twenty five thousand dollars to whomever impresses him the most tonight! Raising the stakes on an already high stakes night! Eddie Vega – That’s right, if these mooks don’t pull out all the stops, we’re out of a job before we even get started! It’s all or nothin’ as Laz’ shoots for that big XHF Network contract. Ben Price – We have a great show lined up headlined by our ‘Beauty vs The Beast’ main event as ‘Fantastic’ Joy Fannigan looks to tame the beast known as Tarrasque! Eddie Vega – This is a classic speed versus strength matchup, precision versus power…simply put Joy Fannigan can’t afford to get caught here! Ben Price – But before that, it’s our co-main event of the evening where styles truly clash when former up and coming prospect Jakie Wentzel returns to competition after years away from the sport to face XHF Network Staple, “Guttertrash” Greg Adkins. Eddie Vega – I met Adkins outside the warehouse trying to sell whatever he could for a quick buck, ‘Guttertrash’ is right. Kid’s got more chemicals than a periodic table, hopefully some of those are painkillers because he’ll need them fighting the angry Amishman, Jakie Wentzel. Ben Price – And that’s not all, we also have a featured bout between Joseph Hart and Skelton Stanczyk! Eddie Vega – We’ve got a hockey player versus a clown, I can’t make this stuff up folks. CWF coming at you with these crazy matchups trying to show you, the fans, something new! This could be no laughing matter when these two lock up! Ben Price – And that brings us to our opener…the first match in Conquest Wrestling Federation history! It’s a Tagteam affair as the fun loving and high flying duo of Bear-O-dactyl takes on the flamboyant Euro-trash tandem of Hump ‘n’ Dump! Eddie Vega – That right! Our first match ever has two fast paced teams that are both going to be looking to wow the crowd. From the technical and high flying of Bear-O-Dactyl to the teamwork and high impact, and that ‘do anything to win’ attitude of Hump ‘n’ Dump! This is a great opening match! Ben Price – Couldn’t have said it better myself, we have a great show for you tonight so let’s get right to it…welcome to Conquest Wrestling Federation! #JoinTheConquest!

[Union Jack]

The dapper Eric Wilson climbs to his feet and takes a microphone from the American announce table, showing how sparse the CWF ringside area is with no table of his own. Eric climbs into the ring and prepares himself. Eric Wilson - Ladies and gentlemen, the following is the first EVER match in Conquest Wrestling. Introducing first; making their XHF debut, fresh from 'The Continent' the team of 'Handsome' Hendrik Hump and 'Dashing' Davin Dump they are.... HUMP 'N' DUMMMPP!!!!!!! A neon glow washes over the WarZone as “Stunnin'” by Curtis Water's hit's and Hump 'N' Dump dance their way out onto the stage. Their vibrant pink ring gear accented with Dump's vivid blue feather boa and Hump's luminous green cravat and fedora. Eddie Vega - What the hell do these jackasses mean by 'The Continent'?! Which Continent? Ben Price - Seeing as they're European, I'm guessing they mean the European Continent! Eddie Vega - I guess that explains the ring attire! Eric Wilson - Now on their way to the ring, former Tag Team Champions, the team of Union Jack and Pequeño Dinosaurio.... Bear-O-Dactyl! As the ring announcer finishes up, a booming voice from nowhere fills the arena, like an excited chihuahua with no social filter, the unseen speaker tries to sound tough despite the like a childlike inflection to his voice. Lil' MC - Yo! Yo! Yo! Weclome to the Mother Fucking renaissance, bitch! Let's go! The house light's dim as 'The Motherfucking Pterodactyl' by Sarah Donner and The Oatmeal starts to play. The sound of fans clapping along is piped into the building through the poorly concealed sound system. Spotlights pan across the stage and strobe lights fill the empty building. He is the Motherfucking Pterodactyl Here to Ptear you a nnnnnneeeeewww... asshole The spotlights settle just before Union Jack and Pequeño Dinosaurio burst through the curtain to an explosion of green, blue and red pyro. Ben Price - Bear-O-Dactyl lit the XHF on fire last year when they won the [redacted] Tag Team Championships! Now they are here in Conquest looking to help us do the same! Lil' MC follows Jack and Dinosaurio out through the curtain and excitedly does a lap of the stage, stopping in both corners to rhythmically thrust his hips and shake his little rubber penis toward the cameras. Yes, it's true He ate 10,000 lightning bugs Kissing his bowels like a million hugs He shat them oooouuuuut One phosphorescent night Painting it like Christmas liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggghhhts The small bear drops to his knees and skids across the stage, stopping right in front of the ramp before the Luchadors. He is the Motherfucking Pterodactyl Here to Ptear you a nnnnnneeeeewww... asshole Lil' pops up to his feet and starts furiously strumming the plastic penis that hangs from the front of his costume, the sound of the little bell amplified by the megaphone he is holding close to his crotch. Yes, it's true His plumage is the best in town All the hoooeees Touch his sexy Pteroid bone, oh! Yes he do put the T-rex to shame His pussy arms on that Puuuuusssssy frrrrraaaaame Oh! Both Union Jack and Pequeño Dinosaurio rush forward and leap over Lil' MC. Jack performs a split leg jump, while Dinosaurio dives under Jack's legs but over Lil' MC's head. He is the Motherfucking Pterodactyl Here to Ptear you a nnnnnneeeeewww... asshole Dinosaurio lands a split second before Jack, rolling once to clear the shared landing spot just as Jack sticks the landing where his partner had been. Yes, it's true He enjoys his hobbies too He smokes his pipe Rollerblades and finds ladies to woo, oh! The two members of Bear-O-dactyl sprint down the ramp toward the ring with Lil' MC following as fast as he can. Yes, it's true He rode with the Triassic crew That includes Lystrosaurus, and Plateosaurus, toooooo Ooh, ooh, ooh Reaching the ring, both men leap from the floor to the ring apron before bounding over the top rope to enter the ring. He is the Motherfucking Pterodactyl Here to Ptear you a nnnnnneeeeewww... asshole Both men go to opposite corners, posing confidently and hit all for corners in turn, playing up to the empty building like it's a sold out Madison Square Garden. He is awkward on the floor His feet are shit and His balance quite poor Lil MC rounds the outside, high-fiving Juan and Only. He hooked up with a grizzly bear They made love under the sea, and everrryyyyywhere Eddie Vega - If we don't get picked up by the XHF Laz may need to had that 25 grand over to whoever provided the pyro and lighting for this entrance! Yes that bear gave birth to a Motherfucking Bear-o-dactyl Who just might tear you a new... So beware, motherfuckers, beeewwwaaaarrreeeee! Ben Price - Or as compensation to Alyssa Lucchi... I think Lil MC might be humping her leg. He is the Motherfucking Pterodactyl He is the Motherfucking Pterodactyl Remember him Remember his song Remember his tire iron and His enccccchhhhanting thong Both men move toward their corners and, after briefly conferring, Jack moves to the outside. He is the Motherfucking Pterodactyl! Ben Price - Hump N Dump don't look at all intimidated at the arrival of the much more experienced Bear-O-Dactyl. Eddie Vega - And why the heck should they?! A British Teddy Bear and a Mexican Dinosaur?! Are you kidding me?! Ben Price - Remember Eddie, Bear-O-Dactyl may look ridiculous but they are former champions, already having won gold within the XHF Network! They bring some real legitimacy to the fledgling CWF Tag team division. Hump starts out against Dinosaurio and the two men tie up breifly before Hump slams a knee into Dino's gut and drives him hard into the turnbuckle. Hump grinds a forearm into Dino's head, forcing the smaller man against the buckle, before Irish Whipping him across the ring. Dino slams into the corner only a moment before Hump hits a turnbuckle splash. Ben Price - I don't know if it's the sound of the Pyro, or eagle eyed locals working out where we are, but fans have started arriving in the WarZone! Eric Wilson - Not fans Price, these here are freeloaders! We've not even got a turnstile up, never mind a box-office! These rats are flowing in from the gutters of Rio to catch a free show, and in my eyes they don't qualify as fans until they are paid ticket holders! Hump grabs Dino by the mask and drags him doubled over toward to the middle of the ring. Ben Price - Hump just tried to twist Dinosaurios mask in an attempt to obscure his vision. Eddie Vega - A tactically sound move by the European, showing he is perhaps not as green as we assumed. Hump drives a sly elbow into the back of Dino's head before slipping the arm around his neck and securing a bent over headlock, a move that may have been caught by a more experienced referee but that goes unnoticed by Erica Costa-Alvarez. Ben Price - The referee really should have admonished Hendrik for that! Eddie Vega - But she didn't, and I'll bet Laz' made note of the impressive use of violence on display! Hump wrenches Dinosaurio's head, again twisting at the mask and.. Ben Price - Is he... Yes! Hump is raking his fingers in the eyeholes of Pequeño's mask! Eddie Vega - He's carefully positioned the Mexican Lucha between himself and the referee so she cant see what is happening! Ben Price - But Jack can and he has seen enough! Union Jack practically dives through the middle rope and rushes at Hump and his partner... Erica is quick to block his path preventing him from making the save. Ben Price - Union Jack being held back! Eddie Vega - Erica's efforts to prevent the obvious inadvertently aiding Hump n Dump! Dump enters the ring and grabs the prone Dinosaurio from behind where he starts to simulate humping him causing the eurotrash team to laugh like schoolboys. Ben Price - Jack is irate! Eddie Vega - Erica still has no idea what is going on!!! Dinosaurio somehow lifts and twists a leg, shoving the juvenile Dump back in a stagger. He grabs Dinosaurio's boot in an attempt to prevent himself falling over which plays into Dinosaurio's trap. The little Dinosaur somehow flips, throwing his free leg high into the air, he connects with Davin's temple, knocking the Dashing One for a loop and sending him crashing through the ropes. Ben Price - Dump has been sent to the outside but Dinosaurio is in more trouble than ev- Dinosauro, who is still trapped in his headlock, but is now prone and bent over backwards thanks to his own move. Somehow the Lucha leaps forward, flipping over the head of Hump and transitioning the move to take advantage leaving Hump now trapped in a Headlock. Eddie Vega - What an incredible reversal! Dinosaurio wastes no time and executes a devastating Rolling Cutter before hooking a leg. Erica drops and ….ONE!.....TWO!!....! Eddie Vega - Near fall!!! Ben Price - Hump looks completely shocked by the sudden turn! Dinosaurio is back to his feet before Hump has even rolled fully to his side. He goes off the ropes, steps onto Hump's back just as he gets to his knees, springboards off with a backflip and soars over the ropes onto Dump, driving him back to the warehouse floor. Ben Price - Running backflip to the outside! Dump is down and Dinosaurio kneels over him raining viscous body blows to his back. Hump moves to step through the ropes and instantly Dinosaurio is back on his feet. He leaps into the air and drives an over head kick into Humps skull, knocking him back through the ropes. Eddie Vega - Somehow Dinosaurio knew Hump was there and kicked his head off his shoulders! Dino slides under the bottom rope, tags Jack and leaps to the top turnbuckle. Hump is climbing to his feet as Dinosaurio leaps through the air hitting a huge flying Moonsault Axe Kick to the back of Hump's head. Ben Price - Phoenix Splash from the top rope!!! The few fans in attendance are cheering loudly for the spectacular height Dinosaurio achieved. Eddie Vega - Hump may well be passing his own teeth for a week after that! Jack drags Hump to his feet. The European staggers briefly before Jack kicks him in the gut. BOD exchange another Tag as Jack hooks Humps arms and hoists him up for the Bearbuster. Jack drops, driving Hump face first into the canvas as Dinosaurio soars through the air to hit the Five Star Pterodactyl Splash. Ben Price - It's the Love Under The Sea! Pequeño hooks Hump's leg! ….ONE!.....TWO!!.......THREE!!!!!!!!! Eddie Vega - It's over!!! Ben Price - Bear-O-Dactyl have won the first ever match here in Conquest Wrestling! Eddie Vega - The freeloaders in attendance are really getting behind Bear-O-Dactyl!

[Union Jack]

Ben Price – What a tremendous opening match we just witnessed! Congratulations to Bear-O-Dactyl on winning the first match in company history! That’s a feat no one will ever be able to take from them, what a way to get things started! Eddie Vega – They got lucky Price! Bear-O-Dactyl might be flying high now but we haven’t seen the last of the true Tagteam specialists in Hump ‘n’ Dump! Ben Price – I don’t know about that, but someone who is lucky is Jakie Wentzel. Ahead of his Co-Main Event match tonight with Greg Adkins, he sat down with our own backstage interviewer, the lovely Alyssa Lucchi and I’m told they had quite the conversation. Eddie Vega – Quite the conversation? Leave me alone in a room with a woman like Alyssa and I ain’t there to talk Price! Ben Price – Well Jakie was there to talk, let’s send it backstage and see how things went. Transitioning from the dirty and dingy atmosphere of the makeshift WarZone to a green room. The white walls are broken up by a black backdrop bearing the CWF logo in blue and silver. Sat in a black ‘director style’ chair with cloth backing, Alyssa Lucchi is camera left dressed a little more conservatively than normal, likely due to her first guest; Jakie Wentzel. Her black skirt comes just below the knee and her red blouse is buttoned all the way up, it’s not much of a change but clearly she’s trying to make her guest more comfortable. Alyssa Lucchi – Welcome wrestling fans to this premiere edition of ‘Ten Questions’. I’m Alyssa Lucchi and today I’m joined by someone who’s only recently returned to the world of professional wrestling, join me in welcoming Jakie Wentzel to the show. Panning out, a stiff looking Wentzel sits with his back upright. Not comfortable with technology due to his Amish background, he is doing his best to remain proper, his hands are crossed in his lap. Alyssa Lucchi – Thanks for taking the time to speak with me Jakie, it’s been a long time since RSW. How are you? Not having forgotten the fiery Italian American beauty, Jakie turns slightly to face her, his face pulled into a disapproving frown. Jakie Wentzel – How am I? Gott in himmel, sure I remember yah Jezebel. You are tha whore that mingles with D. I know off yer life off sin…I haff no time fer yah. Taken aback, but not completely surprised by his outburst of disapproval, Alyssa does her best to keep things civil. Alyssa Lucchi – I’m not going to respond to that except to say, things change and a lot has changed since we last saw each other. However, with the size of this company, I’m the only backstage reporter we have, so I’m afraid I’m your only option Jakie. Trying a smile she hopes lends comfort to her guest, Jakie seems more annoyed at the prospect of the interview continuing than anything else. Jakie Wentzel – Well, if I have tah parlay with yah, so be it naw. But hurry up cause I haff a battle tah rage fer tha soul of Greg Adkins. I will make a disciple off him yet. You’ll see, naw onst. Alyssa Lucchi – Now you mention your opponent, ‘Guttertrash’ Greg Adkins. He’s known to have various ‘substance issues’, is that something you’re concerned about? The level of disgust held in the eyes of Jakie is matched by his tone. Jakie Wentzel – Listen taw me naw onst, this Greg Adkins is trash naw ‘tis true, but he might yet be saved by the grace of tha Lort. By my hand I’ll drive the demons from his lousy hide ant save his miserable soul like D tried to save yours. Sensing this line of questioning was headed nowhere good for the moment, Alyssa tries diverting things towards a new craze the company was heavily invested in. She’d get his take on that and then double back to his opponent. Alyssa Lucchi – Moving on from Adkins, CWF has been adopting the latest craze in social media, FaceTwatter! Can we expect you to spread your message on that platform? Jakie Wentzel – Heavens naw! I’ve seen it. I’ve seen tha shit Joey Lazarus hass been putting out on tha interwebs, ye bist? It’s an abomination…showing off his Lil Amos Tinkleschmitt fer all tha fans tah see! Disgusting. Yah English are all tha same with yer computers ant electronics. Yah know what we had fer fun back home on tha farm? We had a little cup ant ball attached by a string. He chuckles to himself remembering those carefree childhood days spent working the fields and playing when he had a chance. Jakie Wentzel – Aw me! That was always so much fun, cause yah had tah time it just right tah get tha ball in tha cup… Unsure where this is headed, Alyssa simply lets her guest talk. Knowing Jakie can’t be comfortable around all this technology, it’s a minor moment of compassion her guest wouldn’t have allowed her. Jakie Wentzel – Ant sometimes yah think you would have it fer sure… Over explaining with his hands, Wentzel seems almost innocent in this moment. Jakie Wentzel – …but you would miss, ant it would bounce right on back tah you…Ant then you would keep trying. Loads off fun. Ant best part was no batteries dying…ant no private parts need tah be shown. Smirking at the misfortune of the CWF head honcho’s recent “accidental picture upload” to FaceTwatter, Alyssa does her best to remain professional. Alyssa Lucchi – Your thoughts on technology aside, it’s believed Laz’ slip up has been deemed an accident with the boss keeping things above board, so to speak, since. Let’s go back to your match with Greg Adkins at the pilot episode. Greg apparently attempted to access New Intercourse and disrupted another Amish community in the process… Cutting her off, Jakie clearly is annoyed at Adkins’ advances on his fellow ‘decent folk’ and it comes through in his voice as it deepens just a bit. Jakie Wentzel – All I know off this is that Greg needs tah read his Bible. News travels fast amongst tha Amish, even when yah live separate from tha other communities. Our women-folk are off limits, yah hear? We would never think off doin’ drugs outside off our Rumspringa period. Even then, we haff our own connections. Realizing what he’s just said, Jakie quickly notes Alyssa’s silence and adds. Jakie Wentzel – Don’t ask or i would hafta kill yah… Shifting awkwardly in her chair, Alyssa nervously brushes an errant strand of hair behind her ear. Allowing some time and awkward silence to pass, Jakie suddenly slaps his knee and laughs. Jakie Wentzel – Ha it was a joke, yah harlot. Yea, even I can tell a funny here ant there naw. The tension in the air is palpable as Alyssa desperately tries to regain some semblance of order. Alyssa Lucchi – Indeed…now you’ve made it quite clear you don’t think much of your opponent so let’s try this. You showed promise in RSW years ago, but disappeared. What’s brought you back to the sport? Jakie’s eyes narrow slightly as he leans in, appearing truly engaged for the first time. Jakie Wentzel – What do yah know off tha shadowman? He brought me here, ant I will not rest until I get to tha meaning off it all. Jakie had said lots this far, but this ‘shadowman’ definitely had her attention. Alyssa Lucchi – Shadowman? Jakie, who is this ‘shadowman’ and what does he want? Alyssa is genuinely interested as she was there in RSW when the massacre of Intercourse occurred. Jakie Wentzel - I haff my suspicions. Aye you could even be in on all this. You ant yer sinner boyfriend…but I tell yah, Gott sees what you are doing, ant there is gonna be hell tah pay for it. Finishing his words, Jakie slides down from his chair and onto his knees. Jakie Wentzel – Naw please join me in prayer fer yer soul… Not being overly religious despite having gone through her own ‘redemption’, Alyssa doesn’t move, drawing the Amishmen’s ire. He tells, startling the veteran reporter. Jakie Wentzel -I sait tah git yer whore ass on tha floor! At that, Alyssa stands faces the camera and ends this awkward interview. Alyssa Lucchi – You know Jakie, I think that’s enough. Thanks for your time and we’ll see you next time when I hopefully get to ask ‘Ten Questions’. I’m Alyssa Lucchi. Ignoring her completely as she walks off set, Jakie is deep into prayer. Jakie Wentzel – Gott, please spare yer child, Alyssa…whore that she is. That is unless she repents, then may her soul languish in eternal fire ant torment. Looking around, he notices he’s alone while a stoic look takes hold of his eyes, he finishes. Jakie Wentzel – Amen. Leaving Jakie knelt in prayer, we transition back to the dirt and grime of the makeshift WarZone and Ben Price and Eddie Vega at ringside. Ben Price – Wow, just wow. That was…difficult to watch. But kudos to our teammate Alyssa for remaining calm and professional in the face of Jakie’s demeaning… Eddie Vega – Demeaning? Hold on a sec…what if happened to ‘calling a spade a spade’ huh? Back around the way, we call it like we see it and I respect Jakie Wentzel’s kahones her having the guts to say it to her face. ‘Lyss was a party girl back in the day Price, that’s a fact. Jakie just said it. Ben Price – I’ll just agree to disagree, Alyssa is a sweetheart and we’re lucky to have her, thanks again for the interview. Moving along, we’ve got more great action for you coming right up as Joseph Hart takes on Skelton Stanczyk! Eddie Vega - A former hockey player vs a creep looking clown guy…you can’t make this stuff up folks!

[Union Jack]

[Deleted]

Ben Price – Following up on an incredible debut Tagteam match, up next we have a singles match that pits two men who couldn’t be more different, against each other! Eddie Vega – ‘Couldn’t be more different’? That’s a hell of an understatement Price. We literally have a former hockey player taking on some creepy ass clown! These two aren’t from the same planet, let alone ‘couldn’t be more different’…give me a freaking break! Ben Price – Hey more people have come in! I hear we’re starting to blow up on FaceTwatter! We’re top ten in Brazil! Eddie Vega – You already know my thoughts on these freeloaders. Focus is on center ring as CWF ring announcer Eric Wilson begins the introductions. Eric Wilson – The following contest is scheduled for one fall with your referee Scott Jones…introducing first…from Mississauga, Ontario…Canada! Weighing in at two hundred and twenty-four pounds…he is ‘Rink Rat’ Joseph Hart! ‘Rink Rat’ by the Hanson Brothers begins blaring over the P.A. system, echoing throughout the vast and mostly empty space and garnering a small amount of applause. Ben Price – Scott Jones drawing the assignment for this match, something tells me he is going to have his hands full with this one! Joseph Hart bursts through the curtain full of energy and intensity, lifting his arms in triumph before exploding and running to the ring to slide under the bottom rope. Ben Price – And here we get our first look at Joseph Hart as he sprints to the ring! Explosive movements, but let’s hope he’s not depleting that gas tank on his way to the ring! Eddie Vega – What do you think he is, some ‘roided up tassel wearing ‘warrior’ that blows himself up running to the ring? Not in CWF Jack! This here is an athlete Price! Hart poses briefly on the second ropes before jumping down to pace in the far corner as he waits for his opponent. Ben Price – I’ll give him credit, Joseph Hart is looking primed and ready to go. Eddie Vega – Ready to go? This guy’s my pick of the night Price, he’s gonna do this clown dirty and make quick work of this joker. Ben Price – That’s a bold prediction… Cameras focus back to Eric Wilson at center ring as Hart paces in the background ready to use his taped fists. Eric Wilson – And his opponent…hailing from ‘The Clown Room’. Weighing in at two hundred pounds even…he is ‘The Clown’ Skelton Stanczyk! Eddie Vega – ‘The Clown’ pfft…see?! This joker ain’t a serious fighter. The lights dim to black, then rise to purple around the arena illuminating everything in an ominous purple glow as ‘Operation Room(remix)’ by Ugo Vite plays. Ben Price – And now here comes Skelton Stanczyk, if I’m being honest I don’t have a lot of notes on him. He basically sprung from nowhere, not even Joey Lazarus knows where he’s truly from. At the entrance ramp, Skelton Stanczyk jumps onto the stage, spinning around and making laughing gestures at the camera before skipping down the aisle towards the ring. Reaching ringside, Skelton starts fake high fiving fans and laughing to himself. Eddie Vega – I’ll tell ya where he’s from, my nightmares! A clown in a Guy Fawkes mask? Fuck me, this guy is probably missing from a psych ward some place! He slides into the ring spinning around many times before falling backward and rolling back upright. He bows to the cameras and takes his clown hat off. Eric Wilson exits the ring and Scott Jones calls for the bell. DING! DING!! DING!!! Ben Price – And there’s the bell making this one official! Joseph Hart rushes forward with a well placed running knee to the stomach doubling Skelton over before rocking ‘The Clown’ with a solid right to the jaw that sends him stumbling into the corner. Ben Price - A quick start by Joseph Hart! He’s followed up a quick running knee to the sternum with a barrage of punches, pummelling Skelton Stanczyk into the corner! Stanczyk absorbs lefts and right after right and starts to laugh. Each hit drawing more laughter from the clown-faced competitor! Scott Jones begins to admonish the former hockey player as Skelton practically laughs in his face. Eddie Vega – See? This fuck ain’t right in the head…punch him again Hart! A headbutt from Skelton creates a little separate getting ‘The Clown’ back to his feet as he shoves Hart back laughing as a line of blood and drool trails from his mouth. Eddie Vega – I’m gonna need a big bottle of whiskey to sleep tonight! Back to square one, Hart goes back to the well and charges Skelton looking to decapitate him with a lariat that would have made Stan Hansen proud. Ben Price – Big Lariat attempt by Hart, Stanczyk uses his momentum to spin him around… As Joseph Hart is turned with his back to ‘The Clown’, Skelton winds up and boots Hart square in the behind! Ben Price – …wait, did he just? Eddie Vega – Kick a grown man in the ass? Yeah the freak show did… An open handed slap to the back of the head turns a stumbling Joseph Hart around as he’s caught off guard and hoisted up into an airplane spin! Ben Price – More unorthodox offence from Skelton Stanczyk and now an airplane spin! Around and around he goes, when he stops only Skelton knows! Eddie Vega – What the hell is this crap? Is this a fight or a three stooges movie? Dropping a woozy Hart onto his feet, a shot to the gut is followed up with a jumping DDT and a cover. Ben Price – Huge DDT by Skelton Stanczyk, we’ve got our first cover of the match! Scott Jones in position! …One! ……Two!! Hart kicks out at two, cleanly raising his shoulder off the canvas. Eddie Vega – He’s gonna need to do more than that to keep Hart down! He’s still in this thing! Ben Price – Absolutely, Hart is double tough and Stanczyk would do well to hook the leg if he truly wants to end this one! Dragging Hart to his feet, Stanczyk laughs as he locks up for a suplex only to have Hart drop out the back to end up behind him. Ben Price – Great counter by Hart slipping out the back door, he’s hooked him! I’m issuance leg sweep…both men are down and Scott Jones is starting the count! Eddie Vega – Get up Hart! Get up! …One! ……Two!! ………Three!!! Ben Price – Joseph Hart getting up much needed recovery time here …………Four!!!! ……………Five!!!!! Both men make it to their feet causing Jones to wave off the count as the two face off at center ring. Joseph Hart hits Stanczyk with a European uppercut. Not to be outdone, Skelton fires back with one of his own. Soon the two are rocking back and forth trading shots only to stumble back into the ropes and come back to blast their opponent once more! Ben Price – We’ve got both men at center ring and they’re trading blows, back and forth! This is what you can expect from Conquest! Fierce competition in every match! The lucky fans who found us are loving it! Eddie Vega – These bums better enjoy it Price, once we get on XHF, we’ll be charging for seats! Coming together again in the middle of the ring, the physical nature of this glorified alley fight is wearing on both men. Hart grabs Skelton by the back of the head and pulls him into a short right hand soon the two are pounding one another in a classic “hockey fight” while the growing crowd cheers. Ben Price – Scott Jones is admonishing both men but neither cares and we’ve got a fight here in Rio! Eddie Vega – Eh I’ll give ‘The Clown’ credit, he’s tougher than I thought. He’s still a whack job but he’s got guts to go with it. Pushing back to the ropes, Scott Jones begins a fresh count as the two jockey for position. …One! ……Two!! ………Three!!! Raising a knee inside the guard of Skelton, Joseph Hart locks up for a hard suplex! Maintaining his grip, he rotates at the hip and draws them both up to their feet before repeating with a second suplex only to repeat the process… Ben Price – One! Two! Three suplexes! Hart calls that the Hat Trick and he floats over into the lateral press! Eddie Vega – It’s over! Forgetaboutit! Scott Jones is there in a flash… …One! ……Two!! ………Th…Skelton Stanczyk kicks out! Ben Price – Skelton Stanczyk out at Two and a half! Once again, should have hooked the leg there! Both men showing wear and making technical mistakes here. Eddie Vega – What we’re you expecting? A technical classic? This is a drag out fight between two guys looking to make that twenty five thousand from the boss man! Ben Price –[ True enough, CWF boss Joey Lazarus put up a huge twenty five thousand dollar bonus to the man, or woman who impressed him the most and we had an amazing opening match and now this! Joseph Hart looks visibly upset as frustration sets in. Ben Price – Hart pounding the mat in frustration and the fans that have gathered here in the WarZone are clapping along! Eddie Vega – Stay on him! Get that bonus! Dragging Skelton to his feet, Joseph Hart lands a forearm to the side of ‘The Clown’s’ head and sends him across the ring with an Irish Whip! Ben Price – Joseph Hart now still on the attack, Irish whip and Stanczyk on the rebound now…oh! A wild and powerful lariat is ducked for the second time as Skelton slips around with a high impact sling blade counter drawing cheers from the hundred or so gathered at ringside! Ben Price – What a sling blade counter by Skelton Stanczyk! This clown is no joke! Eddie Vega – I hate you right now… Stumbling to his feet, Stanczyk shakes out the cobwebs and pulls Hart up, a quick kick to the stomach doubles him over… Ben Price – Skelton with a boot to the midsection…he’s setting up and… Rebounding back off the ropes, Skelton leaps into the air…connecting with a devastating scissor kick to the back of Joseph Hart’s head! Ben Price – What a kick! He calls that the Jester’s Kick! Hart is out! Eddie Vega – Come on Hart! Get up! Get up! Skelton rolls Joseph over and hooks the leg for the pin as Scott Jones dives to make the count! …One! ……Two!! ………Three!!! Ben Price – It’s over! Skelton Stanczyk has done it! Eddie Vega – But look at that busted lip! That clown knows he was in a fight Price! Laughing, Skelton Stanczyk has his hand raised by Scott Jones as he wipes blood from his lip with his free hand. Despite the obvious damage he’s taken, this joker was all smiles. Ben Price – Absolutely, but there is your winner, “The Clown” Skelton Stanczyk! Eric Wilson will make it official… At ringside, Eric Wilson stands to announce… Eric Wilson – The winner of this contest…’The Clown’ Skelton Stanczyk! Cheers from the slowly growing audience echo throughout the old warehouse as ‘Operation Room(remix)’ by Ugo Vite booms through the P.A. system. Ben Price – What a debut performance by both men! Both likely now have the attention of CWF frontman, Joey Lazarus. Did ‘The Clown’ do enough to walk away twenty five thousand dollars richer? We’ll find out later tonight! Eddie Vega – That’s right! Someone actually deserving could still walk away with a nice chunk of change in the form of that shell Halliburton stuffed with cash! Ben Price – But that just our second match of the night folks…still to come we have XHF journeyman ‘Guttertrash’ Greg Adkins taking on the man that might be his polar opposite in ‘The Mennonite Mauler’ Jakie Wentzel! That match and our main event still to come on the Pilot Episode of WarZone!

[Union Jack]

Back in the ring, Eric Wilson is center ring, microphone in hand ready to start this contest between two men as opposite as could be. Fans are still trickling in and cheer on the announcer knowing more action was right around the corner! Eric Wilson – The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Your referee for this match is Clyde Baxter… Featuring first, hailing from New Intercourse, Pennsylvania…weighing in at two hundred and ten pounds…he is ‘the Mennonite Mauler’…Jakie Wentzel! The screen cuts to static as the lights dim. The opening guitar riffs of “Domino the Destitute” play over the PA system. As the music builds, the screen displays picturesque scenery; farmland, tractors, quilts, friendly faces on porches. When the lead vocals come in the scene shatters into a blood red logo of Jakie Wentzel. As the music continues, flashes of Wentzel are shown intermeshed with horrific imagery. Torn blue jeans, a skull tattooed arm, burning crosses, maggots eating flesh, a pool of blood. The final shot shows Wentzel putting on a set of brass knuckles that pulls back to a full body shot. He smashes his fist into the screen, which goes black as the spotlights rise up on the entrance ramp. “If you had the courage to stop me from turning into what would be the worst in everybody’s eyes.” Jakie Wentzel enters down the ramp slowly in his trademark white v-neck tee shirt, black suspenders, torn blue jeans, and black boater hat. He does not acknowledge the fans who have trickled in, and does his best to avoid eye contact. “Hey, I’m no Angel, or the Devil of your conscience, to tell you what to be…good, bad, ugly or otherwise.” As Wentzel makes his way to the ring, he stops and tips his hat to the commentary booth and referee. He then throws his hat into the audience and gestures to the person who gets the hat with a quiet “thank ye, naw onst.” “If you had good common sense, your choices would be gleaming, flawless. I want no part in this self-deprecating worthless chemistry.” Entering the corner of the ring, he kneels and says a short prayer before pumping his left fist in the air, displaying his glistening brass knuckles. “We made our beds to lie in them, proud; Proud of our great mistakes This warring knife, the flash of its blade. Turn about face, I implore you, Brother. Don’t walk away…don’t walk away from me. Cause this is our war!” Ben Price – Jakie Wentzel looking good in his return to the ring. Eddie Vega – I would hope he’s feeling good as he has a lot to handle from Greg Adkins. Ben Price – A lot of perverted things that I’m Jakie isn’t going to stand for. Eddie Vega – Well, I mean yeah. Eric Wilson - And his opponent, from straight out of your daydreams, he is “Guttertrash” Greg Adkins! “я буду ебать” by Moreart begins playing (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKUMnQZBcqQ) as “Guttertrash” Greg Adkins walks out from the back. He gyrates his hips for a mixed reaction from the crowd before heading down to the ring. He rolls into the ring and blows a kiss at Jakie, who already looks mad. Ben Price – Jakie is a strong one. I don’t know if making him angry this early in the match is a good idea. Eddie Vega – He’ll be sloppy right off the bat. It’s a good thing. It’ll be good for ratings and views and might just help us secure that XHF contract! As the bell rings to start the match, Greg and Jakie meet in the middle of the ring. Jakie roughly puts his hand out for a handshake, clearly not wanting to touch Greg, but being a good sport. Greg starts to put his hand out, but then sticks it down the front of his pants before fully extending his hand. Jakie naturally withdraws his hand with a WTF look on his face. Especially as Greg smells his fingers. Ben Price – Disgusting…absolutely disgusting. Eddie Vega – How do you think Wentzel feels, we can smell Adkins from here! Next to him must be unbearable! Jakie has a look of disgust on his face, but grabs Greg by the ear and clubs him in the head with a punch that staggers Greg back a few steps. Ben Price – Big punch by Wentzel! Irish Whip! Jakie with the Thez Press and now he’s raining down lefts and rights! Jakie whips the stunned Greg to the ropes and takes him down with a Lou Thez press, mounting him and beating him down with lefts and rights. Ben Price – So, is it just me or does Jakie still have a set of brass knuckles on? Eddie Vega – It’s not just you. He certainly is wailing on Greg with the brass knuckles. The ref is looking into this and I think ruining the fun. Indeed, the referee sees that Jakie is using the brass knuckles to good effect and stops him. He takes the brass knuckles away and puts them into a pocket. Jakie steps away from the fallen Greg to allow him the space to get up. Greg stands up, blood dripping from the side of his face from where the brass knuckles opened up a large gash. He grins a bloody smile at Jakie as he rubs his fist down the side of his face to wipe blood onto his knuckles. He rushes at Jakie, who avoids the punch and takes him down with a hip toss. Greg is right back up, but Jakie is on him and whips him into the corner. He follows with a rush, getting a knee into Greg’s midsection. Jakie grabs the top rope and hits several knee lifts to the gut before pulling Greg up into a suplex position. He drops Greg forward onto the top turnbuckle and ring post before dragging him off of it to throw him to the middle of the ring. Ben Price – Jakie showing off his power in this match. I think Greg has been facing a lot of powerful people of late and coming out the loser. Eddie Vega – Happens when you piss off everyone you know. Greg begins rolling to the corner of the ring while Jakie stalks him. Jakie stops to look at Greg who picks up a bottle of grain alcohol and downs some of it before lighting a lighter and sending out a gout of flame into Jakie’s face! Jakie stops, drops, and rolls on the ground while the referee yells at Greg for the violation of the rules. Ben Price – I think that Greg should have been disqualified. Eddie Vega – Like Jakie should have been disqualified for using the brass knuckles? Clyde is just having an off night! Greg walks over to pull Jakie to his feet, but gets kicked in the gut instead. Jakie stands up and hammers Greg down with his fists until Greg is on his knees. He stands up and works to pull Greg back up into a suplex position, but Greg pulls him down into a jawbreaker! Greg slips behind the rising Jakie and locks in a reverse chinlock that he quickly turns into a double fishhook. He hovers over Jakie’s open mouth, clears his throat, and hocks a loogie into Jakie’s mouth! Jakie rips away from Greg’s grasp and falls to all fours while retching and spitting onto the mat. Greg stands up while Jakie is trying to vomit out the filth that Greg put into his body onto the mat. He draws his foot back and punt kicks Jakie in the ribcage. He draws back his foot again and punt kicks Jakie in the side of the head to send blood splattering to the side. Ben Price – Greg leaning in on the grossness, but will Jakie stand for that kind of contact? Eddie Vega – Yeah, probably not, but we will see how this turns out. Greg pulls Jakie up and whips him into the ropes. He follows Jakie up, hitting an avalanche and then remaining in place. He licks the side of Jakie’s face! Jakie gets his hands onto Greg’s chest and shoves him as hard as he can. Greg falls backwards, does a backwards roll, and comes to a rest on the mat. Jakie comes out of the corner with a roar, wrapping both hands around Greg’s throat to begin choking him out in a rage. Greg looks like he’s trying to pry off Jakie’s hands, but then gives up and reaches down the front of his trunks. Even as Greg’s face is turning blue, he has a look of sublime pleasure as he- Ben Price – Is Greg masturbating while he’s being choked out? Eddie Vega – It would seem so. I think Jakie’s just noticed it and boy does he look mad! Jakie releases the choke, pulls Greg up, and brings him back down to the mat with a running bulldog. He grabs the back of Greg’s head and begins to angrily smash his face into the mat over and over again until blood strings between Greg’s face and the mat. Eventually, the ref yells at Jakie to stop. Jakie stands back as Greg is slow to get up and then grabs him for a front powerslam, hooking the leg for the cover. The ref gets into position to count the pinfall. …One! …Tw-Jakie jumps off of Greg and rolls away. Jakie pounds the mat with what we presume to be Pennsylvania Dutch curses. Ben Price – What happened there? Why did Jakie do that? Eddie Vega – I’m going to go ahead and guess that Greg gave him the ol’ ‘sneaky Pete and stuck a finger in his butt. Even as he doesn’t have the strength to stand up, Greg slowly brings his hand up to his face and sniffs his fingers. Ben Price – That’s just disgusting! Clyde Baxter isn’t going to stand for much more of this behavior. I mean, he shouldn’t…right? Eddie Vega – The question remains, did he see it? He can’t see it if he’s busy looking at the shoulders like a good referee would Price! Ben Price – I suppose that could be…but still… Eddie Vega – I know. I’m awesome like that. Jakie jumps to his feet and pulls Greg up and whips him toward the ropes, but Greg reverses the move so that Jakie slams into the referee, Clyde Baxter, and levels him. Jakie looks upset that the referee is down, but then sees that the brass knuckles confiscated earlier in the match have fallen out of the man’s pocket. Greg Adkins sneaks up behind Jakie Wentzel, but catches a back elbow to the side of the head to stun him. Jakie grabs the brass knuckles, runs to the ropes, and plows into the side of Greg’s head with the brass knuckles. Jakie tosses the brass knuckles from the ring, pins Greg to the mat, and starts the mandible claw as Clyde starts to stir. Jakie yells for Greg to repent as he applies pressure with the claw move. Greg doesn’t try to get the fingers out of his mouth, but instead applies his own mandible claw move…with the fingers that were used to poke Jakie in the butt! Ben Price – Oh my gawd, I think I’m going to be sick. Eddie Vega – Sometimes you gotta fight fire with fire…or in this case…gross with gross… Jakie holds on to his move, even as Greg holds on to his. However, Jakie shifts his position and now Greg’s shoulders are on the mat. Clyde gets into position for the count. …One! ……Two!! ………Three!!! Jakie releases Greg who releases Jakie and watches as he stands up to celebrate his debut win. Greg rolls out of the ring, takes a few steps toward the back and collapses. Clyde signals for EMTs to come down to the ring to help Greg to medical. Jakie just celebrates in the mostly empty warehouse, his shouts of glory echoing back to him. Eric Wilson – The winner of the match via pinfall…Jakie Wentzel! Ben Price – Greg put on a brave fight, but Jakie proved to be too much for him. Eddie Vega – Greg has had a lot of trouble of late. Pity.

[Union Jack]

[Union Jack]

Ben Price – And after a clean up of what can only be described as carnage…it’s time! Time for your main event of the evening! Beauty versus The Beast! Brought to you by our friends at Atlanta Fried Chicken…AFC…it’s probably not cat! WeAtConquestWrestlingFederationCannotGuaranteeTheAbscenceOfCat… Eddie Vega – I have been waiting for this all night! I can’t believe Joey Lazarus booked this! What did this poor little girl do to deserve this?! Ben Price – Rumour has it, it has less to do with what she did and more to do with what she wouldn’t do. Regardless, we’re here joined by several hundred rabid Brazilian fans who found us via the latest social media craze sweeping the globe…FaceTwatter! Cameras pan the dingy warehouse and some five hundred plus fans are indeed surrounding the CWF ring cheering for more of the Conquest! Eric Wilson – The following contest is scheduled for one fall…it pits beauty versus the beast…and is your Main Event of the evening! Your referee for this contest…Ashley Beaton! Ashley waves to the camera with a warm smile before going about prematch rope checks. Ben Price – Ashley Beaton getting this historic first ever CWF WarZone Main Event over Senior Referee Clyde Baxter. Interesting. Eddie Vega – No, don’t ya go starting shit! It don’t mean nothin’ I tell ya! Nothin’! Clyde Baxter is our head ref and he was already out here earlier tonight when there was absolute destruction on display and he put on a clinic on how to be a great referee! Cheers burst forth from the audience as “Man That You Fear” by Marilyn Manson begins playing. Eric Wilson – Introducing first…accompanied to the ring by Armand Von Krauss…from Parts Unknown…weighing in at three hundred and seventy five pounds…this is The Tarrasque! Armand von Krauss walks out from the back in a crisp red tailored suit. He has a smoking Egyptian cigarette in one hand and the handle to a thick steel chain in the other. Ben Price – There’s Armand Von Krauss and here comes something else Eddie! The Tarrasque is one of the most vicious forces in XHF Network today. It’s Beauty versus the Beast and that man, Armand Von Krauss, literally holds the chain to the beast! He takes a puff from the cigarette and smiles cruelly as the fans boo him. He tugs on the chain, taking up all of the slack in it and Tarrasque comes out from the back…a steel collar around his neck at the other end of the chain. Eddie Vega – Look at the size of that thing! He’s gotta be six foot seven or so! This is my first time seeing this guy up close. What a monster! Armand tugs on the chain and Tarrasque follows Armand down to ringside. Armand flicks his cigarette into the crowd drawing a fresh round of boos for his effort and then unhooks the collar from Tarrasque. Armand von Krauss – Gib dein Bestes oder Marcus stirbt. Understood? Tarrasque nods his head and steps into the ring. He flexes his muscles for the crowd and roars. The crowd gives a cheer, but goes back to booing when Armand looks out at the crowd with a smirk. Ben Price – Armand Von Krauss…a man who leaves a path of destruction everywhere he steps foot and he’s here in Conquest Wrestling Federation where he plans for it to be no different as he brings forth his pet, The Tarrasque! Eddie Vega – He don’t seem all bad Price, look at that suit, that’s gotta be custom. Ashley Beaton timidly approaches The Tarrasque for a routine check of his fist tape and boots, etc and quickly gets herself back to neutral space nearer Eric Wilson. The Tarrasque paces the far corner of the ring grunting and snarling as he awaits his opponent. Eric Wilson – And his opponent…from Limerick in the Republic of Ireland…I give to you…’Fantastic’ Joy Fannigan! ‘Midnight Youth’(AWOLNATION/The Naked and Famous/M83 mashup) by Isosine plays and the crowd, that has now swollen to several hundred, cheers! Ben Price – And here comes ‘Fantastic’ Joy Fannigan! She’s a former MMA fighter who’s fallen in love with the sport and she’s going to need more than love of the sport tonight… Eddie Vega – No shit Price! Do you hear them gongs? Dead Woman Walking! I like Joy, she’s a nice girl and all, might even have a great future here but maybe not piss off the boss next time? Coming through the curtain, Joy Fannigan is showing no fear as she throws a few punches for the camera. Ben Price – Joy looking loose and ready, and to your point, she’s got one hell of a challenge in front of her in this Main Event Matchup tonight! Adjusting her gloves and pounding her fists into her hands, she looks at The Tarrasque raises her hands and slaps the hands of fans as she approaches the ringside area. Eddie Vega – Did you see that Price? She hesitated, ‘Fantastic’ or not I think almost a foot of height and two hundred pound of what looks like scarred muscle…it’s just too much. Ben Price – I think you’re reading too much into that. Of course she’s cautious. There’s also Armand Von Krauss to consider. Joy is no fool, she knows Armand Von Krauss can’t be trusted! Entering the ring, we get a true picture of just how much of a mountain Joy has set before her to climb. The size difference is simply staggering as Ashley Beaton checks over the gear of Joy. Content with what she sees, she signals for the bell. DING! DING!! DING!!! Ben Price – There’s the bell to start our final match of the evening on what has been an amazing night of Conquest Wrestling action! Here we go, ‘Beauty versus The Beast’! Eddie Vega – Here we go indeed folks, don’t blink! This one could be over in a hurry! Ben Price – Obviously Joy needs to stick and move and use her speed and mobility advantages and keep the big monster moving, wear him down…the longer this goes the more it favours Joy! Practically foaming at the mouth, The Tarrasque rushes at Joy who dodges to the side landing a low calf kick as the muscles monster passes! Ben Price – Joy slips out of the way landing a low kick on the way out! That’s got to be her game plan, especially here in the early stages of this match. The Tarrasque is fresh… Eddie Vega – Fresh nothing Price, he ate that kick like it was nothing! Nothing Price! Run little girl! Rushing forward, Fannigan leaps and puts both her boots between the shoulder blades of the Tarrasque with a high drop kick before scrambling back to her feet to be on the defensive once more. Ben Price – Joy is so fast Eddie, I figured you of all people would appreciate that! Eddie Vega – I might have been known as ‘Fast Eddie’ back around the way but I ain’t never fought something like this! Don’t get me wrong, I like Joy, she’s got a bright future if she survives this, but she needs to fight a perfect fight here. One slip up and it’s over! Growling as he turns to face Joy once more, it’s clear The Tarrasque is angry and looking to make short work of ‘The Fantastic One’. Stomping forward, The Tarrasque starts ‘walking down’ Joy, attempting to cut off angles and block escape paths as he does. Ben Price – The Tarrasque is just stalking Joy, trying to get close enough to use that overwhelming power that he has. Rushing forward again in an attempt to get ahold of ‘Fantastic’ Joy, The Tarrasque misses as the audience gasps at this high stakes game of cat and mouse. Joy slams another low calf kick into the right leg of the Tarrasque and the crowd cheers as Armand Von Krauss curses at ringside. Eddie Vega – He missed again but this is a hell of a chance to take for twenty five thousand dollars. Ben Price – Great idea Eddie! Head over to our official FaceTwatter for our poll ‘Would you fight The Tarrasque for $25,000?’ #JoinTheConquest but Joy just whipped another stiff leg kick into Tarrasque’s right leg, those are going to add up! Eddie Vega – You’d think that, but do you see him limping? ‘Cause I don’t! Slamming her left leg into Tarrasque’s right calf this time, the big man actually winces slightly as he growls swinging with a wild backhand that Joy easily dodges. Ben Price – Did you see that?! She’s starting to chip away at him! Wow! What a backhand attempt! Eddie Vega – Felt the wind on that one from here! See, that’s the problem…Tarrasque’s only gonna need one where Joy has to keep playing this game…and if she gets caught, it could be a ‘Fantastic’ night’s sleep for the young lady! See what I did there?! Crashing another leg kick into the tree trunk like legs of The Tarrasque, Joy is once again backpedaling as ‘the Beast’ is in hot pursuit. Ben Price – Joy Fannigan is sticking to the game plan and using that MMA background to a T and she’s getting the better of the big man in these exchanges here early on! Eddie Vega – Eh, she’s doing what she’s gotta do to be successful, I’ll give her that but do you notice that every time the Tarrasque swings, these freeloaders gasp? That’s the kind of one shot knockout power we’re talking about here! Seeming to acknowledge the mental fatigue aspect of her cat and mouse tactics, Joy shakes out her arms and slips past ‘The Beast’, once more landing a leg kick as she does. Ben Price – That time I know I saw it! Those are starting to hurt! She CAN do this! Eddie Vega – So what Price, she’s proved she can hurt him, let’s hold off on the victory parade. Landing a quick ‘one-two’ to the body on the way out ‘Joy!’ chants start up as Tarrasque stomps his right leg, furious. Ben Price – There! She’s damaged the leg! Joy’s chipping away at him! Rushing her once again, this time The Tarrasque gets one of his catcher’s mitt like hands around Joy’s waist, sending Fannigan flying backwards and crashing back first into the corner. No escape this time for ‘The Fantastic One’ as ‘The Beast’ practically launches Joy into the stratosphere with a biel throw that would make Keith Lee suddenly seem limited! Ben Price – What a biel! Joy is down and this crowd is stunned into silence! Eddie Vega – Here we go Price, see how quick all that work went to the wayside? Now we’re gonna see what this woman is made of…maybe literally… Crashing to the canvas, the crowd gasps and Armand Von Krauss smiles, his pet was now on the attack… Grabbing Joy by the hair and yanking her to her feet, she’s like a rag doll in his hands. Snatching a side headlock, he drives her head first into the canvas with a vicious headlock driver! Ben Price – Just yanking Joy to her feet, just cruel intentions by The Tarrasque! Headlock Driver! Joy could be out! Tarrasque with the lateral press! Ashley Beaton is immediately on the scene and in position… …One! ……Two!! Joy kicks out clean at two but it’s clear she’s running on instinct at the moment as she paws for the ropes. Slamming a knee into her spine draws a yell from Joy as the crowd watches with baited breath ass The Tarrasque circles Joy like a shark that smells blood in the water. Ben Price – Joy is in big trouble here and Armand Von Krauss couldn’t be happier! Von Krauss is shown hitting the mat and shouting instructions in German! Eddie Vega – Hey! This is what she signed up for Price! Hopefully she makes it one of this thing in one piece! Letting her pull herself to the corner, Tarrasque charges like a bull at a matador! Ben Price – The Tarrasque now with a head of steam…crushing avalanche in the corner! Joy is down! Crumpled in the corner, The Tarrasque steps on ‘The Fantastic One’s’ neck cutting off air, Ashley is immediately on ‘The Beast’ with a count… …One! ……Two!! ………Three!!! Ben Price – The Tarrasque needs to be careful here, he doesn’t want to get disqualified! Eddie Vega – He gets until five ya mook! …………Four!!!! Stepping in, Ashley pushes against The Tarrasque, less moving ‘The Beast’ and more getting her point across as he back up leaving a coughing Joy on the canvas. Eddie Vega – That Ashley’s got moxie! Getting in there trying to break things up like that! Seeing the downed Fannigan gasping for air Tarrasque stomps forward looking to crush her skull with a heavy running knee! Ben Price – Joy’s in big trouble here folks and Tarrasque is not letting up! Rushing in…oh! Rolling out of the way to dodge as though her very life depended on it, Joy takes advantage of the situation and dives into a chopblock on the softened up right leg of ‘The Beast’ finally getting The Tarrasque to a knee and the crowd cheers! Ben Price – What an escape by Joy Fannigan! Chopblock! She’s shaking out the cobwebs! Eddie Vega – No time for that shit! Stay on him! Running off the rope, ‘The Fantastic One’ soars , and stepping off the bent right knee of Tarrasque, lands a stiff shining wizard that rocks but doesn’t quite drop the bigger monster. Ben Price – What a shining wizard by ‘Fantastic’ Joy Fannigan! The crowd is on its feet! Eddie Vega – Only because we have the only chairs! Climbing to the top rope, Joy hears the cheers of the audience and flys…executing a picture perfect flying crossbody!!! Ben Price – Joy is perched on the top! She leaps! Crossbody! No she’s caught…what a vicious powerslam! Catching Joy in mid-air, Tarrasque repositions like she’s a child before rushing forward and slamming her to the canvas once more. Ben Price – Tarrasque with the cover! …One! ……Two!! ………Thr… Joy kicks out at the last moment showing her heart and fortitude! Eddie Vega – Just stay down girl, what do you think you’re tryin’ to prove here? Ben Price – That she’s a warrior Eddie, that she’s in there and making this thing a fight! Eddie Vega – Sorry, I wasn’t aware ‘warriors’ got paid more…wait…I’m getting news from the back. What? They don’t? They make the same so she should just lay down and hope it’s over? That’s what I thought… Ben Price – Hold on just a second, well stop right there…look who’s coming out to ringside?! CWF frontman Joey Lazarus is shown making his way to the ring with ‘The General’ Kestas Kasuba trailing close behind holding the steel Halliburton from earlier in the night. Ben Price – Our own boss couldn’t resist the action and is out here to get a closer look and maybe even give that briefcase full of cash to the winner! Eddie Vega – Nah, it’s the boss here to give me my bonus for putting up with you all night! Kasuba hands off the briefcase to Laz, who tucks it under his arm protectively. Ben Price – What’s this now? Eddie Vega – They ain’t here to watch Price! This here’s about to get ugly! Climbing into the ring, Ashley immediately threatens the disqualification, but Kasuba couldn’t care less…his instructions were clear. Wasting no more time, ‘The General’ immediately ‘paint brushes’ The Tarrasque across the face causing her to signal for the bell! Ben Price – Do you see what he did there? Causing the DQ for Joy?! DING! DING!! DING!!! The fans are booing as Lazarus slides into the ring with the $25000 stuffed Steel Halliburton briefcase. Laz lines up Joy and lays her out as she staggers back to her feet with a shot that draws a gasp from the crowd… Ben Price – Maybe the rumours were true! Maybe she did turn down Laz’ advances! Eddie Vega – Who knows? But this much is clear, she definitely pissed off the boss! Kasuba and The Tarrasque are nose to nose ready to fight as Eric Wilson is relayed Ashley Beaton’s official decision. Ben Price – Ashley has stopped the match! Eric Wilson – The winner of this match…as the result of a disqualification…The Tarrasque! Eddie Vega – She sure did! Ashley just made the only call there was to make! Ben Price – What a travesty! See!? The crowd agrees with me. Eddie Vega – I’ll think about giving a damn about what these freeloaders think when these mooks start buying tickets! Boos erupt from the audience but are ignored in the ring as Laz’ steps in between the two massive oaks, Laz is soon joined by a slightly confused, but amused Armand Von Krauss. Ben Price – Look at the smirk on Von Krauss’ face! Like the cat who just ate the canary! Handing the briefcase to AVK, Lazarus’ message is simple… Joey Lazarus – Teach her a lesson! Kasuba drops to the outside retrieving a table from beneath the ring! Joey Lazarus drops to the outside to watch the destruction from a safe distance. Ben Price – A setup! This was a setup from the beginning! Look how quick Armand Von Krauss took that blood money from Laz’! Eddie Vega – Don’t hate on Armand, he’s already a rich man but knows and easy pay day when he sees one! Sliding the table into the ring, Armand begins directing traffic as The Tarrasque begrudgingly sets up the table… Ben Price – But look! ‘The Beast’ doesn’t want to do it! It’s like Von Krauss has something to hang over the Tarrasque’s head! Eddie Price – Like him wanting to or not is a big deal? He’s still gonna do as he’s told! Rejoining Tarrasque in the ring, Kasuba points at Joy and then at the table. Each monster steps to a side of ‘The Fantastic One’ and grabs her by the throat. Lifting her high off the ground, Joy is slammed through the table and left crumpled amongst the splintered pieces of wood. The crowd is a mix of excitement, shock and outrage as Fannigan lays destroyed by the overwhelming odds. Ben Price – Sickening! Just a sickening display here and entirely orchestrated by the boss! Joey Lazarus has sent a message to ‘Fantastic’ Joy Fannigan here on this pilot episode of WarZone! Eddie Vega – Watch your mouth Price or you could be next! It’s clear papa don’t take no mess and Laz’ is showing what happens if you cross the boss! A cheer erupts from the crowd as a black clad figure in a baggy hoodie rushes the ring, a barbed wire bat in hand! Ben Price – Well someone obviously still hasn’t gotten the message! Eddie Vega – Look out boss! That nutcase has a bat! Swinging to the midsection of Kasuba, he drops to the mat and rolls to the outside as The Tarrasque takes one for his trouble buckling him over. Laz’ and Armand Von Krauss are already halfway down the aisle only to have the hooded figure smash ‘The Beast’ across the back drawing the first true cry of pain from Armand’s pet! Ben Price – Kasuba is out of the ring! The Tarrasque is down and out of the ring! The hood is down…it’s Apathy! It’s Elizabeth Devereaux-O’Rouke! Apathy has joined the Conquest! Eddie Vega – Apathy?! What the hell is she doing here!? Ben Price – Saving Joy Fannigan’s hide, it looks like! Patrolling the ring to ensure The Tarrasque and Kestas Kasuba don’t get any ideas about coming back in the ring, Apathy soaks in the cheers of the crowd as Ashley Beaton checks on Joy. Ben Price – Apathy looks ready to take someone’s head off with the barbed wire bat Eddie! If we get another show, this could be the beginning of a rivalry that pits these two femme fatales against the boss man’s regime! Glad to see Joy sitting up! Finally sitting up, Joy is holding her head and neck as Ashley and Apathy help her to her feet while the crowd gives her a round of applause for her effort! Eddie Vega – Yeah, but now we’re going see two burials when we get that XHF contract! No way the boss stands for this! The crowd is going crazy, The Tarrasque and Kesta Kasuba join the scowling duo of Armand and Laz’ on the ramp as Laz’ gets his hands on a live microphone. Joey Lazarus – You two bitches think you’ve done something here tonight? All you’ve done is earn a Tagteam match against The Tarrasque and The General! At the next show! That’s right! There WILL be a next show! And next time you’ll learn to keep your nose out of my business Apathy! Oh?! You fans don’t like it? Too bad! This is my show and as a matter of fact…that’s all you get for free! Hit the music and get out of my building! ‘War Pigs’ by Black Sabbath starts again as the fans boo Laz’ obvious abuse of power…but like a power hungry dictator, the boos are music to his ears. Ben Price - What an announcement! We WILL have another show! That means XHF…here we come baby! And we’ll have the fallout from this match with ‘Fantastic’ Joy Fannigan and Apathy taking on ‘The General’ Kestas Kasuba and The Tarrasque! Eddie Vega – Yeah, I don’t know what’s more exciting, knowing we’ll get another pay cheque or that huge match announcement! As Ashley holds up Joy, we get a ‘CWF!’ chant from the crowd while Apathy paces the ring. Laz’, Armand and their respective pets look on glaring as Ben Price wraps things up… Ben Price – What an explosive end to a wild night of action here on the pilot episode of CWF: WarZone! On behalf of everyone here at Conquest Wrestling Federation…thanks for watching and we invite you to #JoinTheConquest!