Post by Dave D-Flipz on Feb 24, 2022 23:59:07 GMT -5
*We open up in a familiar spot. In fact Donzig was just here earlier in the month. In the distance the camera can see an illuminated city. Ecatepec de Morelos. As the moonlight beams down on the rocks outside the city, we find our … hero? … Protagonist. We find Aiden Merric. He stands among the rocks. He kneels down and sniffs at the rocks. He touches one and brings the fingers to his nose … then spits his nicotine gum out on the ground and licks his fingers. He grimaces then turns back to the camera and says…*
Merric: Bloody chunder … it’s fruity!
Tucker: Really??
*The camera gets set down on what has to be a large rock overlooking the area they stand, and Tucker Bernard hoofs it to the rock with a MASSIVE rucksack full of all the necessities an unskilled civilian would have. Aiden smirks behind his back and stands up. He pulls a canteen from his own hunter bag (much smaller and more efficient). Tucker dives down, rattling all the empty drink canisters in his bag. He hungrily, greedily begins lapping up the yellow liquid off the rocks … then stops … then wretches.*
Tucker: GAH BLOODY PISSBAG! It’s fucking piss, Merric!
*Aiden cackles maniacally and sips from his canteen, using the back of his hand to brush the liquid from his fairly robust manbeard. Yes … MANbeard.*
Merric: Yeah it’s probably some desert mammal … maybe a small deer or a raccoon family critter. Why you think I didn’t go back for seconds?
Tucker: WHY DO IT AT ALL!?
Merric: Well if it’s a bloody bear, or chupacabra, I need to know what level of defense I need to sleep tonight … or if I need to hunt to avoid being prey. And if it’s human … then it means that town is crap and we shouldn’t go in there until the show, because Donzig and his cronies slept out HERE for a week or so. Rudimentary survival skills, Tucker. I’d think even a Cadbury like you would understand how this works.
*Aiden sets up a sleeping bag from his rucksack, and watches as Tucker attempts to build a large, fancy tent. The rocky terrain, and general out of shape-iness from Tucker makes this an entertaining show. Aiden sips from his canteen and pulls out a link of jerky from his bag. As he gnaws into it, he makes a satisfied face.*
Merric: Vegemite flavor bison jerky … gotta say, that tastes ace! See Tuck? It’s always nicer when you make your own supplies by hand.
*Tucker is panting and wheezing, saved only by the fact that in February it isn’t as hot or humid in Mexico. He wipes the sweat from his hairy beard and face onto his hairy wrists and arms*
Tucker: Yeah well, that’s not what the bloody park ranger thought about his favorite bison.
Merric: *shrugging* They ain’t endangered anymore, and t’wasn’t any signs telling me I couldn’t hunt my own nourishment.
Tucker: The crying five year old girl would imply you did something wrong ya bastard.
*Aiden laughs and downs the last of his canteen before tossing it into his bag and standing up. He stretches and puts one leg up on the rock like Captain Morgan. He peers out into the town, trying to find the small arena they are to entertain in.*
Merric: I tells ya, Bernard, this may end up being right up my alley. This small, grungy type back alley crowd. This underground, fight club feel … reminds me of the pub fights I’d get into back in Coober Pedy. These fists are at home in the tight, dirty, possibly illegal arenas. This bogan … this bounce … Donzig … he doesn’t know what it is he’s walking into. I mean, based on his talk of being a deity … or a split personality, I doubt he understands most of how actual reality works. He comes across as dangerous because he’s so braggadocious with his bravado and his violent tendencies … and all he really needs is an asylum.
*Aiden sniffs, hocks a loogie, spits on the rock, and applies a nicotine patch to avoid drug use that isn’t drinking on camera. Tucker sneaks a second canteen from Aiden’s bag behind his back. He laughs and sips it before spraying chunky, white liquid out on the ground.*
Tucker: BLLLEEEEEERRRRRGGHHHH! WHAT THE BLOODY SPOTTED DICK IS THIS?
Merric: The last of the milk I brought back from South Carolina. Yeah didn’t think that through, the bag didn’t hold temperature or bounce enough to spontaneously churn it into cheese.
*Tucker blinks then runs off to barf somewhere. Aiden laughs and turns to the camera. He walks towards it and taps it to make sure it’s recording and stable.*
Merric: So Donzig is a sorcerer? Like a jaguar? Well ain’t any of the jaguars I ever … appropriated … violently … ever cast a spell on me. Other than maybe fanciness. Rugs and robes and such. Doubt anyone would be up for a Donzig robe. Be in poor taste, and likely to draw the ire of human rights folks. But hey, at least I know that I am a better killer than a sorcerer. Turns out I’m the apex hunter out here! The baddest man in Australia? Sorry but Aiden Merric hasn’t been back home in a few years so that claim is highly dubious. Maybe you should try to replicate the feat eh?
*Aiden laughs and pulls out one of his knives and begins to shave his face blind*
Merric: The past may not be that important to you Donzig, but the past informs us. We need to learn from it to get better. They say those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. And after all, I never understood all you wrestle types espousing the virtue of experience then turning around and denigrating bringing up the past. Any school kid can tell you that lessons build on each other. A good hunter, a good SUVIVOR … a good killer … learns from every trial and tribulation. And it’s clear that in your days you have been through a whole bunch of shit. But did you learn from it? Do you even remember? Or did Sinclair wang you with that bedpan one too many times?
*Aiden paces as he finishes shaving his man beard into … well … stubble. He sheathes the knife*
Merric: I ain’t big on talking over action. But I have been known to spin a yarn from time to time. Ask ol’Jitterman. So let me tell you how this is gonna go Donzig. We write a new chapter in the story. You, as the big bad wolf. Me as the huntsman. I come in, all unassuming. Looking to be fooled, looking to be outmatched. And the cocky wolf, sure of his ruse and his strength steps up. And takes a big bite of the huntsman … leaving a big ol’ scar, and a lesson learned. And in return, the huntsman, having been here before … guts the fucking beastie like the animal it is.
*He laughs*
Merric: I am not exactly the safe for work kind of fighter Donzig. I hurt people. And I intend to show you that be it some inevitable God or animal or Scourge … it’s still prey for the apex predator. Man. This man will come out on top of it all. And hey, maybe I learn a little lucha this week while I’m at it. Donzig, you may be this omnipresent force in XHF. But when Aiden Merric shows up, he runs the show. He kills the beasties. He always claims his trophy. And I aims to mount that mask on my dia de los muertos mural on my wall in the lodge. This ain’t a game, or a fairy tale Donzig. This is reality. And you really need to get in touch with it to stand a chance with me.
*He climbs into his bedding as the scene fades*
Merric: Bloody chunder … it’s fruity!
Tucker: Really??
*The camera gets set down on what has to be a large rock overlooking the area they stand, and Tucker Bernard hoofs it to the rock with a MASSIVE rucksack full of all the necessities an unskilled civilian would have. Aiden smirks behind his back and stands up. He pulls a canteen from his own hunter bag (much smaller and more efficient). Tucker dives down, rattling all the empty drink canisters in his bag. He hungrily, greedily begins lapping up the yellow liquid off the rocks … then stops … then wretches.*
Tucker: GAH BLOODY PISSBAG! It’s fucking piss, Merric!
*Aiden cackles maniacally and sips from his canteen, using the back of his hand to brush the liquid from his fairly robust manbeard. Yes … MANbeard.*
Merric: Yeah it’s probably some desert mammal … maybe a small deer or a raccoon family critter. Why you think I didn’t go back for seconds?
Tucker: WHY DO IT AT ALL!?
Merric: Well if it’s a bloody bear, or chupacabra, I need to know what level of defense I need to sleep tonight … or if I need to hunt to avoid being prey. And if it’s human … then it means that town is crap and we shouldn’t go in there until the show, because Donzig and his cronies slept out HERE for a week or so. Rudimentary survival skills, Tucker. I’d think even a Cadbury like you would understand how this works.
*Aiden sets up a sleeping bag from his rucksack, and watches as Tucker attempts to build a large, fancy tent. The rocky terrain, and general out of shape-iness from Tucker makes this an entertaining show. Aiden sips from his canteen and pulls out a link of jerky from his bag. As he gnaws into it, he makes a satisfied face.*
Merric: Vegemite flavor bison jerky … gotta say, that tastes ace! See Tuck? It’s always nicer when you make your own supplies by hand.
*Tucker is panting and wheezing, saved only by the fact that in February it isn’t as hot or humid in Mexico. He wipes the sweat from his hairy beard and face onto his hairy wrists and arms*
Tucker: Yeah well, that’s not what the bloody park ranger thought about his favorite bison.
Merric: *shrugging* They ain’t endangered anymore, and t’wasn’t any signs telling me I couldn’t hunt my own nourishment.
Tucker: The crying five year old girl would imply you did something wrong ya bastard.
*Aiden laughs and downs the last of his canteen before tossing it into his bag and standing up. He stretches and puts one leg up on the rock like Captain Morgan. He peers out into the town, trying to find the small arena they are to entertain in.*
Merric: I tells ya, Bernard, this may end up being right up my alley. This small, grungy type back alley crowd. This underground, fight club feel … reminds me of the pub fights I’d get into back in Coober Pedy. These fists are at home in the tight, dirty, possibly illegal arenas. This bogan … this bounce … Donzig … he doesn’t know what it is he’s walking into. I mean, based on his talk of being a deity … or a split personality, I doubt he understands most of how actual reality works. He comes across as dangerous because he’s so braggadocious with his bravado and his violent tendencies … and all he really needs is an asylum.
*Aiden sniffs, hocks a loogie, spits on the rock, and applies a nicotine patch to avoid drug use that isn’t drinking on camera. Tucker sneaks a second canteen from Aiden’s bag behind his back. He laughs and sips it before spraying chunky, white liquid out on the ground.*
Tucker: BLLLEEEEEERRRRRGGHHHH! WHAT THE BLOODY SPOTTED DICK IS THIS?
Merric: The last of the milk I brought back from South Carolina. Yeah didn’t think that through, the bag didn’t hold temperature or bounce enough to spontaneously churn it into cheese.
*Tucker blinks then runs off to barf somewhere. Aiden laughs and turns to the camera. He walks towards it and taps it to make sure it’s recording and stable.*
Merric: So Donzig is a sorcerer? Like a jaguar? Well ain’t any of the jaguars I ever … appropriated … violently … ever cast a spell on me. Other than maybe fanciness. Rugs and robes and such. Doubt anyone would be up for a Donzig robe. Be in poor taste, and likely to draw the ire of human rights folks. But hey, at least I know that I am a better killer than a sorcerer. Turns out I’m the apex hunter out here! The baddest man in Australia? Sorry but Aiden Merric hasn’t been back home in a few years so that claim is highly dubious. Maybe you should try to replicate the feat eh?
*Aiden laughs and pulls out one of his knives and begins to shave his face blind*
Merric: The past may not be that important to you Donzig, but the past informs us. We need to learn from it to get better. They say those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. And after all, I never understood all you wrestle types espousing the virtue of experience then turning around and denigrating bringing up the past. Any school kid can tell you that lessons build on each other. A good hunter, a good SUVIVOR … a good killer … learns from every trial and tribulation. And it’s clear that in your days you have been through a whole bunch of shit. But did you learn from it? Do you even remember? Or did Sinclair wang you with that bedpan one too many times?
*Aiden paces as he finishes shaving his man beard into … well … stubble. He sheathes the knife*
Merric: I ain’t big on talking over action. But I have been known to spin a yarn from time to time. Ask ol’Jitterman. So let me tell you how this is gonna go Donzig. We write a new chapter in the story. You, as the big bad wolf. Me as the huntsman. I come in, all unassuming. Looking to be fooled, looking to be outmatched. And the cocky wolf, sure of his ruse and his strength steps up. And takes a big bite of the huntsman … leaving a big ol’ scar, and a lesson learned. And in return, the huntsman, having been here before … guts the fucking beastie like the animal it is.
*He laughs*
Merric: I am not exactly the safe for work kind of fighter Donzig. I hurt people. And I intend to show you that be it some inevitable God or animal or Scourge … it’s still prey for the apex predator. Man. This man will come out on top of it all. And hey, maybe I learn a little lucha this week while I’m at it. Donzig, you may be this omnipresent force in XHF. But when Aiden Merric shows up, he runs the show. He kills the beasties. He always claims his trophy. And I aims to mount that mask on my dia de los muertos mural on my wall in the lodge. This ain’t a game, or a fairy tale Donzig. This is reality. And you really need to get in touch with it to stand a chance with me.
*He climbs into his bedding as the scene fades*