Post by hardcorehammer24 on Mar 8, 2022 14:58:27 GMT -5
Camera pans once again through the same old church sanctuary from the promo filmed prior. This locale appears to be the set up for a standard Jakie Wentzel promo with CWF. The centuries-old stained glass glows in the light of a dozen or more blazing candelabras. The altar area is dark but a low spot rises to the pulpit, where a solitary figure stands, dressed in all-black robes and vestments. The figure raises his head to reveal not Jakie, but Bishop Weaver hiding in the shadows. He lifts his hands to the sky in proclamation.
“Ladies and gentlemen…my brothers and sisters in the Lord. I present to you a statement from the Devine One, the Hardcore Prophet himself, the respectable Jakie Wentzel, as he prepares his heart…his soul…his mind…to take on Skeleton Stanwyk at Warzone I.”
Jakie Wentzel, enters dressed in all black with a long trench coat and his traditional brimmed hat. He walks without a sound to the alter and stares out to his silent “congregation.”
“My children, the Mennonite Mangler speaks out to his flock!”
Jakie’s voice, trance-like in nature, fills the sanctuary.
“Let me tell youse a story about clowns, naw. In fact, I will tell off one particular clown who lost his way.”
Continuing his speech, he walks five steps forward, more clearly revealing his face under the dark hat.
“Growing up on tha farm, my family never had much money. Being poor ant Amish, youse can imagine I didn’t haff many things tah do outside off farming, eatin’ my three meals, ant praying…but onst in a while, my father would ride into town on hiss buggy and pick up comics fer me tah read. A special reward fer righteousness ant devotion to tha Amish lifestyle.”
“Usually they were funnies, like Archy ant Jughead, or Casper tha Friendly Ghost…silly little stories off life amongst tha English ant their foolish ways. An hour or so off time tah forget about tha work tah be done. But it was tha superhero stories that always got me tha most excited.”
Jakie’s face lights up in a childish wonder at the thought of the heroes and a times of the past. A time before the world of wrestling.
“These special men who worked hard tah make tha world right fer all. They didn’t fight tah make conflict amongst brothers…they fought because no one else would stand up tah tha bullies ant sinners off tha world. The system had failed them, ant they were not going to stand back ant wait.”
“Tha point is, after years off ministering to these poor sinners off tha wrestling world, I once again began thinking off those carefree days, Ye bist? But an idea kept swirling through my head…Batman had his Joker, a clown Prince off crime. This clown man was bad news, bullying ant planting chaos everywhere he went, ant Batman would nearly risk his life protecting his hometown from this sinner. They were eternal rivals, but every time Batman had the opportunity tah finish tha Joker off he would simply turn him back to a sinful world…a system that he knew would result in his rival escaping tah sin ant kill again.”
“As a young, naive child I couldn’t wrap my head around this. Why not end it all ant save hundreds off people? Why was he unable tah minister tah him ant set that Joker on tha path off light or cast his soul to eternal damnation as a good man off God is asked tah do fer his flock? I was so forhootzed that after a while I threw those comics away…stopped reading those comics. I was so disgusted.”
He stops for a moment and pauses in contemplation. His voice swells as he comes to one final epiphany.
“But I get it naw…the Batman didn’t see tha madman but instead saw who tha Joker could become, ye bist? He somehow knew that there was a time before tha sin…before tha crime. A time when tha Joker was only a pitiful stand up comedian named Arthur Fleck. Fleck was not a criminal, just a flawed, unloved man…a mortal man like all others. If Batman would have killed Joker, he would have killed Arthur as well, Ye bist?” So naw I face my personal Joker in tha form off the Skelly Clown Man…I haff a question fer yah, Skelly? Who were yah before all this? Who was your Arthur Fleck behind all the masks and makeup?”
“I challenge yah in tha rink of Warzone, but this is more than a physical battle, it is a battle fer yer former soul. If it comes right to it, I would rather lay down my victory at yer feet than tah see yah breaking tha heart off yer Lort and Savior…look within yerself ant see yer true calling…tah do his work…”
Bishop Weaver smiles a sly grin of understanding as he lifts his hands in the air and interjects solemnly.
“Skelton Stanczyk, the Order of Shadows calls to you…surrender your will to the Hardcore Prophet and join us in our mission. It is only through the shadows that you will come to the light.”
“Yes, naw Skelly Man. This is a one time deal from the Bishop and his boss, tha Shadowman. Ant just tah make things fair I have arranged a special deal with Herr Leroy as well fer refereeing this match. I haff been told that he likes gifts, ant I will be offering him tha best that I haff tah make this a fair fight. I can assure Yah that he will be happy with his token of service…Ant once I haff conquered yah, Skelly Man, I am officially announcing that I will fight on in tha Guantlet…ant earn my spot in the CWF Championship hall off fame. Make no mistake, I WILL be tha number one contender…ant tha Order will be able tah show its face out off tha shadows…”
He pulls a comic book out that can be read from the audience as “The Ass-Whooping Adventures of Jakie Wentzel” featuring a comic version of the Amishman, everything you would expect but with exaggerated biceps and a bright red “W” emblem emblazoning his chest.
“Yah lowlifes are all on notice…there iss a new hero in town, naw onst. Anyone who resists tha New Order and its mission will ent up goin’ down, like my old hometown off Intercourse PA…in fire ant ash. South America ant tha CWF naw hass an unexpected protector…in Jakie, the Mennonite Mangler, Wentzel.”
He throws the comic into the air and punches it with his brass-knuckled hand. Inexplicably, it shatters like glass into small confetti-sized pieces of colorful artwork, as the camera fade to black.
“Ladies and gentlemen…my brothers and sisters in the Lord. I present to you a statement from the Devine One, the Hardcore Prophet himself, the respectable Jakie Wentzel, as he prepares his heart…his soul…his mind…to take on Skeleton Stanwyk at Warzone I.”
Jakie Wentzel, enters dressed in all black with a long trench coat and his traditional brimmed hat. He walks without a sound to the alter and stares out to his silent “congregation.”
“My children, the Mennonite Mangler speaks out to his flock!”
Jakie’s voice, trance-like in nature, fills the sanctuary.
“Let me tell youse a story about clowns, naw. In fact, I will tell off one particular clown who lost his way.”
Continuing his speech, he walks five steps forward, more clearly revealing his face under the dark hat.
“Growing up on tha farm, my family never had much money. Being poor ant Amish, youse can imagine I didn’t haff many things tah do outside off farming, eatin’ my three meals, ant praying…but onst in a while, my father would ride into town on hiss buggy and pick up comics fer me tah read. A special reward fer righteousness ant devotion to tha Amish lifestyle.”
“Usually they were funnies, like Archy ant Jughead, or Casper tha Friendly Ghost…silly little stories off life amongst tha English ant their foolish ways. An hour or so off time tah forget about tha work tah be done. But it was tha superhero stories that always got me tha most excited.”
Jakie’s face lights up in a childish wonder at the thought of the heroes and a times of the past. A time before the world of wrestling.
“These special men who worked hard tah make tha world right fer all. They didn’t fight tah make conflict amongst brothers…they fought because no one else would stand up tah tha bullies ant sinners off tha world. The system had failed them, ant they were not going to stand back ant wait.”
“Tha point is, after years off ministering to these poor sinners off tha wrestling world, I once again began thinking off those carefree days, Ye bist? But an idea kept swirling through my head…Batman had his Joker, a clown Prince off crime. This clown man was bad news, bullying ant planting chaos everywhere he went, ant Batman would nearly risk his life protecting his hometown from this sinner. They were eternal rivals, but every time Batman had the opportunity tah finish tha Joker off he would simply turn him back to a sinful world…a system that he knew would result in his rival escaping tah sin ant kill again.”
“As a young, naive child I couldn’t wrap my head around this. Why not end it all ant save hundreds off people? Why was he unable tah minister tah him ant set that Joker on tha path off light or cast his soul to eternal damnation as a good man off God is asked tah do fer his flock? I was so forhootzed that after a while I threw those comics away…stopped reading those comics. I was so disgusted.”
He stops for a moment and pauses in contemplation. His voice swells as he comes to one final epiphany.
“But I get it naw…the Batman didn’t see tha madman but instead saw who tha Joker could become, ye bist? He somehow knew that there was a time before tha sin…before tha crime. A time when tha Joker was only a pitiful stand up comedian named Arthur Fleck. Fleck was not a criminal, just a flawed, unloved man…a mortal man like all others. If Batman would have killed Joker, he would have killed Arthur as well, Ye bist?” So naw I face my personal Joker in tha form off the Skelly Clown Man…I haff a question fer yah, Skelly? Who were yah before all this? Who was your Arthur Fleck behind all the masks and makeup?”
“I challenge yah in tha rink of Warzone, but this is more than a physical battle, it is a battle fer yer former soul. If it comes right to it, I would rather lay down my victory at yer feet than tah see yah breaking tha heart off yer Lort and Savior…look within yerself ant see yer true calling…tah do his work…”
Bishop Weaver smiles a sly grin of understanding as he lifts his hands in the air and interjects solemnly.
“Skelton Stanczyk, the Order of Shadows calls to you…surrender your will to the Hardcore Prophet and join us in our mission. It is only through the shadows that you will come to the light.”
“Yes, naw Skelly Man. This is a one time deal from the Bishop and his boss, tha Shadowman. Ant just tah make things fair I have arranged a special deal with Herr Leroy as well fer refereeing this match. I haff been told that he likes gifts, ant I will be offering him tha best that I haff tah make this a fair fight. I can assure Yah that he will be happy with his token of service…Ant once I haff conquered yah, Skelly Man, I am officially announcing that I will fight on in tha Guantlet…ant earn my spot in the CWF Championship hall off fame. Make no mistake, I WILL be tha number one contender…ant tha Order will be able tah show its face out off tha shadows…”
He pulls a comic book out that can be read from the audience as “The Ass-Whooping Adventures of Jakie Wentzel” featuring a comic version of the Amishman, everything you would expect but with exaggerated biceps and a bright red “W” emblem emblazoning his chest.
“Yah lowlifes are all on notice…there iss a new hero in town, naw onst. Anyone who resists tha New Order and its mission will ent up goin’ down, like my old hometown off Intercourse PA…in fire ant ash. South America ant tha CWF naw hass an unexpected protector…in Jakie, the Mennonite Mangler, Wentzel.”
He throws the comic into the air and punches it with his brass-knuckled hand. Inexplicably, it shatters like glass into small confetti-sized pieces of colorful artwork, as the camera fade to black.