Post by paulyginsberg on Mar 10, 2022 23:11:16 GMT -5
Crowds surround gate C24 at the Brazil international airport. They all are waiting in anticipation at the gate wearing their fan gear. Some in Senor Butts T-shirts others wearing the iconic double cheek foam hats that the Buttaholics have become known for. The one thing bringing them all together today is the love and adoration for their hero and your hero, Senor Butts, whose plane is due in any second now.
"Attention ladies and gentlemen Jet Plaid flight 597 from Houston has been moved to terminal N47 once again Jet Plaid flight 597 arriving from Houston will now be deboarding at gate N47 thank you."
The Buttaholics stampede their way through the miles upon miles of airport terminals to try and great the world's greatest hero as he enters the country. Hips are broken, walkers are discarded and children are trampled but a large of the Buttaholics make it before the plane empties out.
The Door at gate N47 opens up and a collection of disheveled tired travelers emerges and tries to push their way thru the crowd of Buttaholics. Person after unimportant person comes off of the plane and the Buttaholics are getting antsy.
"None of my 6 wives have ever seen me without this mask on and neither will you little lady, I don't care if your the air marshall the sea marshal or the space marshall."
Loud crashes and bangs ring out from inside the plane.
"Do you know who I am? I'm a god damned movie star you can't do this to me."
More rustling and clanging noises come from the plane as Marshall Martinez carries a fat old wrestler out with his hands and feet zip tied together.
All the Buttaholics start screaming and swearing at the Air Marshall. She tries to carry the old wrestler away but is surrounded on all sides by a throng of rabid butt hat wearing fans.
"If you don't want this to get ugly little lady you might want to let me go."
Marshall Martinez drives a knee into Senor Butts gut and tries to drag him forward before the crowd comes pouring down into her.
"Kill the witch!"
The crowd yells out to kill her from all sides. Marshall Martinez draws her gun and backs the Buttaholics away from her.
"This is my prisoner and you'll let me through now."
No one moves away but they also don't get any closer to her.
"Listen little lady if you put me down and cut these ropes off me we can just call this an oopsie daisy and I'll get these nice folk here to back off from you right quick."
She not so gently drops him on the ground and cuts the zip ties away while never holstering her gun.
Senor Butts stands and straightens himself up in from of the crowd that's waiting for him to speak.
"Now calm on down there my Buttaholics, she was just trying to do her job and we don't hold no grudges against people doing there jobs. Now I don't want to hear about any of you good folk outside Marshall Martinez's house with pitch forks and burning effigies. And I really don't want to hear about any of you upstanding people running her car off the road after you easily go on to the dark web and find the make model color and license plate of any vehicle registered to her."
The Buttaholics cheer Senor Butts on while glaring daggers at the air marshall that's standing behind him.
"Now y'all already know why I'm in your beautiful country, I'm here to wrassle."
The Buttaholics cheer and break back into their chant of "BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS".
Senor Butts basks in the fans for a few moments before motioning for silence.
"Some people have questioned wether or not I still have anything left in my tank…"
Boos drown out any other noise in the airport for several minutes until yet again Senor Butts has to quiet the crowd.
"That's ok everybody. Don't be angry at these people that question ol Senor Butts. It has been a few years since I've been in the old squared circle. There's no need to hate anyone that thinks I might have passed my prime while I was in Meh-He-Co city staring in all of those movies, like Senor Butts seduces the demon women or Senor Butts Tea Bags Godzilla or the brand new to streaming sites everywhere Senor Butts vs the atomic lingerie angels from hell. Now there's some people that think that my prolific movie stardom has somehow made me soft but I am here to assure that I am better now than I have ever been in my 6 decades in this business."
Pandemonium erupts from the legion of Buttaholics. Butts are being slapped, the Buttaholics salute us everywhere cats are riding horses it's pure craziness.
"Now it's no coincidence that my first match back in the ring is here and now. There has been a huge amount of forethought and planning that have gone into this decision. This man here … Mysterion. When he decided to step inside this squared circle here he came smack dab in the middle of my world. Now I don't forget what you did boy. Us actors are a tight bit bunch and my BFF Tommy H didnt appreciate you causing him to be forgotten by Zendaya. When you messed with Tommy you might as well been messing with me. You best bring all them flying doodads and shooting hoo-has and every other little trick you got because I can see you clearly and I'm gonna lay the Butt down on you."
Women weep and even the strongest of men shed a tear at the pure beauty of Senor Butts words.
"I've rose to every challenge, I've defeated every foe, even the unstoppable mass in Senor Butts vs the Unstoppable Mass which is streaming now on Amazon Odd. I have risen to the very Pinnacle of movie stardom and now I'm coming back to my first love to reclaim my place as the best wrassler in the world. But none of that matters in the ring Mysterion, you made this personal. You might say it was Doctor Strange that made Zendaya Forget but we all know it was your fault. And I'm gonna make you pay with your butt….. Now are y'all gonna come with through customs so they don't try and take my mask away?"
The Buttaholics raise Senor Butts on their shoulders and March him down to customs and immigration chanting the whole time "BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS"
Marshall Martinez watches them leave.
"Did I get slipped some crack? What the fuck was that?"
"Attention ladies and gentlemen Jet Plaid flight 597 from Houston has been moved to terminal N47 once again Jet Plaid flight 597 arriving from Houston will now be deboarding at gate N47 thank you."
The Buttaholics stampede their way through the miles upon miles of airport terminals to try and great the world's greatest hero as he enters the country. Hips are broken, walkers are discarded and children are trampled but a large of the Buttaholics make it before the plane empties out.
The Door at gate N47 opens up and a collection of disheveled tired travelers emerges and tries to push their way thru the crowd of Buttaholics. Person after unimportant person comes off of the plane and the Buttaholics are getting antsy.
"None of my 6 wives have ever seen me without this mask on and neither will you little lady, I don't care if your the air marshall the sea marshal or the space marshall."
Loud crashes and bangs ring out from inside the plane.
"Do you know who I am? I'm a god damned movie star you can't do this to me."
More rustling and clanging noises come from the plane as Marshall Martinez carries a fat old wrestler out with his hands and feet zip tied together.
All the Buttaholics start screaming and swearing at the Air Marshall. She tries to carry the old wrestler away but is surrounded on all sides by a throng of rabid butt hat wearing fans.
"If you don't want this to get ugly little lady you might want to let me go."
Marshall Martinez drives a knee into Senor Butts gut and tries to drag him forward before the crowd comes pouring down into her.
"Kill the witch!"
The crowd yells out to kill her from all sides. Marshall Martinez draws her gun and backs the Buttaholics away from her.
"This is my prisoner and you'll let me through now."
No one moves away but they also don't get any closer to her.
"Listen little lady if you put me down and cut these ropes off me we can just call this an oopsie daisy and I'll get these nice folk here to back off from you right quick."
She not so gently drops him on the ground and cuts the zip ties away while never holstering her gun.
Senor Butts stands and straightens himself up in from of the crowd that's waiting for him to speak.
"Now calm on down there my Buttaholics, she was just trying to do her job and we don't hold no grudges against people doing there jobs. Now I don't want to hear about any of you good folk outside Marshall Martinez's house with pitch forks and burning effigies. And I really don't want to hear about any of you upstanding people running her car off the road after you easily go on to the dark web and find the make model color and license plate of any vehicle registered to her."
The Buttaholics cheer Senor Butts on while glaring daggers at the air marshall that's standing behind him.
"Now y'all already know why I'm in your beautiful country, I'm here to wrassle."
The Buttaholics cheer and break back into their chant of "BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS".
Senor Butts basks in the fans for a few moments before motioning for silence.
"Some people have questioned wether or not I still have anything left in my tank…"
Boos drown out any other noise in the airport for several minutes until yet again Senor Butts has to quiet the crowd.
"That's ok everybody. Don't be angry at these people that question ol Senor Butts. It has been a few years since I've been in the old squared circle. There's no need to hate anyone that thinks I might have passed my prime while I was in Meh-He-Co city staring in all of those movies, like Senor Butts seduces the demon women or Senor Butts Tea Bags Godzilla or the brand new to streaming sites everywhere Senor Butts vs the atomic lingerie angels from hell. Now there's some people that think that my prolific movie stardom has somehow made me soft but I am here to assure that I am better now than I have ever been in my 6 decades in this business."
Pandemonium erupts from the legion of Buttaholics. Butts are being slapped, the Buttaholics salute us everywhere cats are riding horses it's pure craziness.
"Now it's no coincidence that my first match back in the ring is here and now. There has been a huge amount of forethought and planning that have gone into this decision. This man here … Mysterion. When he decided to step inside this squared circle here he came smack dab in the middle of my world. Now I don't forget what you did boy. Us actors are a tight bit bunch and my BFF Tommy H didnt appreciate you causing him to be forgotten by Zendaya. When you messed with Tommy you might as well been messing with me. You best bring all them flying doodads and shooting hoo-has and every other little trick you got because I can see you clearly and I'm gonna lay the Butt down on you."
Women weep and even the strongest of men shed a tear at the pure beauty of Senor Butts words.
"I've rose to every challenge, I've defeated every foe, even the unstoppable mass in Senor Butts vs the Unstoppable Mass which is streaming now on Amazon Odd. I have risen to the very Pinnacle of movie stardom and now I'm coming back to my first love to reclaim my place as the best wrassler in the world. But none of that matters in the ring Mysterion, you made this personal. You might say it was Doctor Strange that made Zendaya Forget but we all know it was your fault. And I'm gonna make you pay with your butt….. Now are y'all gonna come with through customs so they don't try and take my mask away?"
The Buttaholics raise Senor Butts on their shoulders and March him down to customs and immigration chanting the whole time "BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS"
Marshall Martinez watches them leave.
"Did I get slipped some crack? What the fuck was that?"