Post by anthonycaffrey on Mar 11, 2022 1:03:20 GMT -5
Stanford: Good evening, FIRESIDE fans. Lighting the fire tonight, representing Sam Sawyer, please welcome JACK HAMILTON!
The crowd boo as the camera cuts to the stage. Hamilton is standing there gazing coldly into the audience. He turns to face the camera with a fearless, almost tenacious look in his eyes, dark bags underneath them.
Hamilton: The last time Sam was asked to light the fire, they agreed. A rare thing indeed, they took time out of their endless schedule to show their respect for this company. Well... how times have changed.
The crowd resume their booing while Hamilton pauses. He smiles coldly.
Hamilton: Because make no mistake, when Sam left the call unanswered, it wasn't because they really needed those few extra hours. As long as their job is safe, and it is, Sam has absolutely no inclination to do a damn thing for FIRESIDE. They have no problem letting me be the face of their brand, boring everyone to death on their behalf. But last month... things got a little interesting.
Only a few boos fill the silence, most of the fans unsure how to feel about Zolothach's injury. Hamilton's eyes are still focused on the camera, his glare growing more intense.
Hamilton: Zolothach. I was wary of provoking you in the lead-up to the match, but we're well past that now. I've got a job to do, and if Sam wants to involve me in the affairs of a murderous psychopath... so be it. To tell the truth, I don't know why Sam attacked you. But I know one thing. It wasn't anger. It wasn't spite. It was just a part of their plan. When you almost took their head off with that toolbox, stealing the victory, you forced them into plan B. Plan A was to win the WILDFIRE Championship cleanly. The bosses like clean victories, and Sam is wise to that. But it looks like they're not willing to let this one go, no matter what. And it looks like they think you... Zolothach... are a problem.
He pauses.
Hamilton: Everyone knows your story. You've left a trail of blood, horror and savagery in your wake. You'd think by now you'd recognize a crime being committed when you see it. You probably do. That's what I think that was last month. A cold, calculated assault. They want that title, and knowing you, they know what they might have to go through to get it. They know. They know more than you think. If the match was taking place tonight, like it was supposed to, you'd be in serious trouble.
Some murmurs of agreement can be heard coming from the crowd.
Hamilton: But I think that's where they failed. I think they thought you'd be competing tonight. I don't get it, Zolothach. What's wrong with you? Has Cthulhu lost his touch? If you're going to get another three weeks to recover, maybe it was all for nothing. Or maybe... knowing you... it was worse than nothing. Maybe Sam should have just left you the hell alone. Maybe I shouldn't be standing here right now, running my big mouth. But Zolothach... you're not the only psychopath in FIRESIDE. And you might have an otherworldly God watching over you, but knowing who I have in my corner, I don't feel worried about calling out that motherfucker. Take all the time you need. Use it. Use it all.
Hamilton takes a box of matches out of his pocket. He lights one and tosses it into the bowl.
Hamilton: It's on.
He stares into the flames, grimacing slightly. The fans cheer, excited for the show about to get underway, while Hamilton turns his back and leaves the stage.
Wright: Sam Sawyer's representative with ice in his veins leading up to the submission match at Fuel for the Fire for the Wildfire Championship!
Park: Sawyer beat Zolothach so bad, we're not even getting a medical update tonight! We'll see if she can recover in time. Welcome to a helluva show with big matches galore, let's get rollin'!
Walter Stanford is dragged forward, being shoved through the dimly lit room with his arm held in the fist of Mormo. Moloch stalked behind them, and Stanford jerked his arm away with a frown. He glared at them both, adjusting his tie with a snort before he shook his head.
Walter Stanford: This was completely unnecessary! What is the meaning of this?
Donzig: Forgive my sons, Stanford. They are overzealous.
Stanford turned, and his eyes widened as he saw Donzig reclining in the shadows. The Scourge stared at him from behind his mask, his fingers resting under his chin. Behind him stood the silent towering form of Gavin Drake, who smirked at Walter with his arms folded over his chest. Before him, sitting on the floor but looking amused with the situation was the Baroness Sinclair Godfrey. She lifted her head, staring at Walter with a faint amused smile. Donzig hissed, waving his hand in dismissal.
Donzig: I prefer you to that robot, he was my least favorite thing about Rocky IV.
That drew a snort of amused laughter from Drake.
Walter Stanford: Sico? Thanks, I think?
Donzig: Happy Birthday, Paulie. Indeed.
Stanford stared, and he seemed to be considering saying something or leaving. But he was no fool, he knew how unpredictable Donzig-gun could be. And well, everone in the entire XHF knew how on edge Donzig was before a match. He glanced at the masked members of the Death Squad, and shrugged before Donzig sat forward with a tilt of his masked head.
Walter Stanford: I assume this is about Edward Zepp?
Donzig: Ah, Zepp. Edward needs to not worry quite so much about Vodka Fizz, because you see? Fizz is the least of his problems, because tonight? He must contend with the will of the Endless Dark! And while this--
A pause, before Donzig spits the word.
Donzig: --city accepts him? Because he is a freak in a city of freaks? I don't crave the acceptance of 'Philly', I don't want them to call me one of their own! What I want is their fear, their obedience! And since he wants to be one of them? So be it, he can be their sacrificial lamb!
His voice was a sneer as Stanford forced a plastic smile to his face. Donzig assumed a very mocking yet very good Philly accent.
Donzig: He can go get a fucking hoagie and a boddle of water at the WaWa's, and get some jawns! Because tonight, I don't care how big Edward Zepp is! You think I have never fought bigger men, Zepp? You think your size gives you an edge? No, no, no! You see I am not always the biggest dog in the fight, but I am the meanest!
Walter Stanford: So did you come to Fireside for the Spark Title?
Donzig: No, I came here because I have unfinished business with New Money, but now that you mention it? That Spark title should belong to Donzig-gun now! It should be mine now!
Donzig drew out a bloodstained screwdriver, and he absently tightened his grip around it. His finger pressed against the end of it, twisting slightly as he stared.
Donzig: At One Violent Night I beat Fizz, unlike Zepp or some other people I can name! And Fizz never beat me! So while Zepp casts a shadow? I am the darkness, and I will take that Spark Title as a sign of my dominion! But none of that is why I called you here, Stanford.
As if having your minions drag someone into a room against their will was calling them here.
Walter Stanford: Okay, what's on your mind?
Donzig: Unlike some people I don't need a press conference. I don't need a room full of idiots to watch me preen and strut around while I say something, but I will make the announcement here!
Stanford looked around the room, and he gave a quick shake of his head as the members of Donzig-gun stared back at him.
Donzig: I am a guest here, and I don't want to get out of my lane. But when you finish your little tantrum, your little power trip, when you finish fighting over baubles? Over trinkets? Your popularity contest? When you are done breaking your toys to get attention? I won't deal with you here and now as I would like. No, no, no.
A hand lifted, and Donzig drew off his mask. His dead eyes stared, and he passed the mask to Sinclair as his lips twisted into a scowl. He lifted a hand to smooth his beard, and then shrugged.
Donzig: I am entering the Rumble, and I will take what is mine. And you? Well, as we say in Donzig-gun?
A pause, and Donzig gave a faint smirk as he leaned back.
Donzig: See you soon.
Wright: Donzig making big proclamations tonight!
Park: We'll see if he can qualify for the SPARK Championship!
Edward Zepp vs. Donzig
The first SPARK qualifier of the night started as a battle of brawlers as Edward Zepp and Donzig traded blows, each looking to get the upper hand and get on the offensive early before a Donzig irish whip was countered by a powerful pounce on the rebound, knocking the self-proclaimed Scourge out of the ring! Zepp immediately followed with an impressive showing on the outside, displaying his full power and even at one point slamming all 215 pounds of Donzig down to the floor with a one-handed body slam. The crowd reacted positively to this, showing continued support after his victory at last Inferno.
Things would quickly shift against the seven-footer though after a Gavin Drake and Sinclair Godfrey tandem distraction allowed Donzig to thunder back with a painful elbow smash into a spinebuster out on the floor. Commentary grimaced as Zepp’s head bounced off the ground and Donzig showed no remorse, drawing the ire of the crowd as he slammed Zepp’s back onto the hard edge of the ring with a pop-up powerbomb. You wouldn’t believe that Donzig was giving up a foot of height, especially with him using the barricade to stand on Zepp’s back and apply all of the weight and pressure he possibly could while jawing at the fans who dared to challenge him.
Finally back inside the ring, Donzig would only score a two count before showing a surprising amount of athleticism and crashing down onto Zepp with a middle rope lionsault! Still, it was not enough to put away the Battle of the Titans winner, who managed to shoulder his way out again. The crowd became restless as Donzig went to lock in the Pennsylvania Cloverleaf, but the big man counted by turning over and locking his hand around Donzig’s skull for the Silent Scream!
The crowd came alive as Donzig looked to be on the ropes while looking for the ropes, but the Herald of Oblivion eventually found them and forced the break before too much damage could be done. Unfortunately for him, Donzig was then forcibly ripped from the safety of the ropes by a determined Edward Zepp, who locked in a two-handed choke and gave him a ride across the ring with an overhead suplex, scoring a huge Psychomania suplex!
After a tense two-count, the San Diego wrestler rose back to his feet and could feel the energy of the crowd waiting for him to deliver the Mute Button! With Donzig returning to his feet and turning around, Zepp wrapped his hands around Donzig’s throat for the choke lift, but Gavin Drake hopped up onto the apron to distract Zepp, drawing an ejection from referee Melanie Davenport! However, Zepp found himself in a losing position as his hands were forced by his back, and he was slammed facefirst into the mat with the 25:17! The cover was made, and with a strong handful of interference from Gavin Drake, Donzig punched his ticket to Fuel for the Fire, drawing a furious reaction from the fans in the Hearth!
Stanford: Here is your winner and advancing to the SPARK Championship match at Fuel for the Fire, DONZIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGG!
Apathy vs Hank Sokolov
The returning Apathy looked slightly rusty in the early-goings in this contest, something her much taller, much bigger opponent was fully ready to take advantage of. The 7’2, 450-pound Russian destroyer wasted no time in throwing around his 5’8, 230-pound opponent as if they were a sack of potatoes! The crowd booed the showing from the heel monster as he charged into the corner, throwing his full weight into both Apathy and the turnbuckles, squashing her in the corner!
Things continued to look a bit one-sided as Hank Sokolov set Apathy up onto the top rope and looked prepared to throw her into the second row, but the seasoned vet began to strike back with a roaring headbutt before using a series of European uppercuts to keep the Russian bear at bay. Still, Hank kept charging at her until he was stopped in his tracks by Apathy taking his head and slamming it into the mat with a tornado DDT, followed seamlessly into a Guillotine Choke in a modified version of her Affliction hold! The crowd cheered for this rally and then began to yell for Sokolov to tap!
Hank was in trouble and everyone in the building knew it as more and more electricity was generated by the fans watching at ringside! Still, the Russian would not be denied as the big man countered the hold by getting back to a standing position, ultimately lifting Apathy off of her feet and transitioning to a devastating bearhug known as the Kruschev Krush! The crowd booed fiercely as the hold left Apathy overwhelmed and desperately fighting her way out of the hold, reaching for the ropes only to find herself once again chucked across the ring after the bearhug was transitioned into a belly-to-belly suplex!
UnJoo Park wondered aloud on commentary if not keeping the submission applied was a mistake after Hank Sokolov only got two on the pin count that immediately followed. Sokolov began to stomp on Apathy’s back while she was down, drawing even more anger from the crowd before only getting another two count. This one drew Sokolov’s anger, in which he screamed in his native tongue something we couldn’t possibly print here at the referee. This left him over for the veteran to use her expertise and take over, capitalizing on the rookie’s error with a Kiss of Death brogue kick!
The kick only drew two but it was certainly more than enough to fire up Apathy, whose palpable energy indicated that the veteran was going to the same mental place that got her all the way to the world championship match at Good Riddance. Fans began to clap along as she gestured for the Russian to return to his feet once more, then delivered a hard soccer kick to his leg, another devastating headbutt, and finishing him off with the Death before Dishonor DDT to win the match and score another shot at gold at Fuel for the Fire!
Stanford: Here is your winner and advancing to the SPARK Championship match at Fuel for the Fire, AAAAAAPAAAAAATTTHYYYYYYY!
The match dynamics changed a few times before the bell even rang for this one, as Rat Bastard came out to officially announce his replacement: his son, also sometimes referred to as Your Grace, Alexander Von Blankenship. Blankenship’s demeanor very quickly indicated that he was cut from a similar cloth as his dear ol’ pa, immediately flipping off the crowd and getting on their bad side.
Things got interesting though as after former FIRESIDE world title contender Rebecca Brookes made her entrance, GM Marcus Washington made the announcement that an unnamed force had struck a deal to add Edward Zepp to this contest, drawing cheers. A tired titan, Zepp made his entrance and prepared for a second war for the evening.
When things did begin, however, AVB was the first to use some of his dad’s tried and true tactics, raking the eyes of both of his competitors before ditching the ring to locate a steel chair, feeling slighted that his debut was now a triple threat and preparing to take it out on the opposition. He struck Zepp’s back from outside of the ring, but Rebecca Brookes was quick to put a temporary stop to the violence though, springboarding off the top rope and crashing down with a forearm smash to excite the crowd!
Back inside the ring, Brookes continued to use the spark to take it to the much larger Zepp, unloading with a series of elbow strikes and kicks designed to stagger and fell the lumbering giant. After bouncing off the ropes to increase her speed and strike with the step-up axe kick as part of her Under the Sun trademark though, Zepp caught her and transitioned the momentum into a hard samoan drop for what would have been a two count had AVB not smashed a chair against his shoulder, drawing the first blood of the night! The crowd booed loudly as the only thing stopping AVB from picking up the win there was Zepp kicking out at the last moment!
A frustrated AVB began to tune up the band, waiting for Brookes to turn around to blast her with a superkick, but she got underneath the kick and turned it into her Guardian Plex III, almost picking up the win herself with the big move! The energy of the crowd picked up as Brookes struck AVB with a hard chop to the neck, followed by a clubbing arm to the back of the head, before lifting AVB up for the bridging full nelson suplex known as the Watch the Throne, only for Blankenship to break her grasp and clock her with his superman punch, the Baptism! The referee dropped down to count and was a second away from three before Zepp pulled AVB off by the back of his neck! AVB tried to fight his way out, but was soon lifted high into the air as Zepp finished off his Choke Slam Lariat, the Mute Button! AVB instinctively rolled to the floor, but the crowd cheered as Zepp pinned Brookes for three!
Stanford: Here is your winner and advancing to the SPARK Championship match at Fuel for the Fire, EDWAAAARDDDD ZEPPPPPPPPPP!
Stanford: The following match is a Five Minutes of Work Challenge! If Ace can survive for five minutes, he wins! Introducing first, from Houston, Texas, weighing in at 165 pounds, he is ACE SKYYYY!
A pilot voice over is heard before his entrance theme counting down from 5 as the fans count down with it. A rocket drops from the bottom of the titantron to the stage and the podbay door opens Ace Sky walks out wearing his navy-blue aviator jacket which is decorated with many accoutrements , emblems. He raises his arms with twin peace signs shouting emphatically then brings his hands down clasp together in a prayer taunt with his head bowed.
He makes his way down the aisle pointing to his forehead (third eye) and high fiving as many fans as possible. Then he executes his signature nifty slide through the bottom ring apron rope into the ring
Wright: Glad to see he got his entrance theme back, but Ace Sky is in for a hell of a challenge here!
Park: If there’s an uphill battle, he’s game to climb it!
Stanford: And his opponent, weighing 248 pounds, from Eugene, Oregon, he is SHAAAAAANEEEE LOCCCCCCCCKEEEEE!
The first guitar chords hit. Then that voice leading into "A Country Boy Can Survive" by Hank Williams Jr hits over the PA. Almost immediately, pacing in tune with the music is a tall, strongly structured gentleman. He has simple green trunks with double yellow vertical stripes on each side. Black knee pads and tall black boots finish off the simple wrestling ensemble.
Wright: A Country Boy Can Survive, but can Ace Sky?
Park: We’re about to find out!
Shane Locke smirks at Ace Sky, walking forward with a shake of his head. But Sky fires off a dropkick, followed by another, and then goes for a third as Shane staggers back. But Shane Locke swats him aside this time, and charges in at Sky as he comes back to his feet.
A hard knee to the ribs lifts him, and Shane grabs a handful of hair before snapping him backwards to slam him down against the mat.
Park: Ace Sky shouldn't have poked the bear!
Wright: Shane Locke not wasting any time here tonight, folks.
Shane is clearly in a mood now, and starts stomping away at Ace Sky. His feet driving down on hands and knees, raining down stomp after stomp. The knees, the ankles, and the elbows before the referee makes him back off.
Ace Sky uses the opening, hooking Shane around the legs to go for the roll-up.
Wright: Ace Sky going for the opening! Shane needs to keep his eyes on the match!
Park: Please! Ace Sky attacking a man while his back is turned? Come on!
Of course, Shane Locke was furious and before Ace can rise to his feet, Shane drives a hard kick to his spine, another hard kick followed, and then a third across the back of Sky's head. Ace Sky is clearly in trouble, slumping forward as he tries to shake his head clear.
But Shane grabs his arm, jerking his opponent upwards before hitting a backdrop!
Park: Bale Toss!
Wright: This is brutal! The ref better check on Ace Sky!
Shane Locke shakes his head as Ace tries to rise again. And then Shane grabs him, whirling him around to nail a stiff clothesline across his throat! Ace Sky collapses, grabbing at his neck as the ref moves to check on him.
Wright: This is enough!
Shane pushes past, hauling Ace Sky back to his feet. He then drives his forearm across Sky's spine, before flinging him at the ropes for another clothesline!
Wright: Stop the damned match!
Park: Shane Locke with a dominant display! Ace Sky, this is not your night!
Ace Sky is down, holding at his back as he shakes his head at the ref to indicate that he won’t surrender. Pushing him back as he forces himself back to his feet, Shane grabs his arm again to yank him into the air with a snarl.
BALE TOSS!
Park: Bale Toss again!
Wright: Enough Shane, enough!
Ace is in a heap, still shaking his head as he kicks his feet. His body shaking as he tries to rise, and Shane Locke pounces on him. He fires off a few stiff forearms, and then he puts on the Lockedown! The fans react, and Ace Sky flails as Shane tightens the hold!
Wright: The Lockedown! The ref needs to see if that is a choke!
Park: Oh, it definitely is! Ace Sky is out!
The referee calls for the bell almost immediately!
Stanford: Here is your winner, SHAAAAAANEEEE LOCCCCCCCCKEEEEE!
Wright: Damn! I was expecting a game Shane Locke, but this amount of power we saw tonight is just scary!
Park: Here’s hoping this level of aggression was a one-off affair! I’d hate to be Shane’s next opponent!
Stanford: The following contest scheduled for one fall is a triple threat match! The match will determine the first half of Who Goes First to compete for the FIRESIDE Tag Team Championship! Introducing first, from Los Angeles by way of Mexico City, Mexico, weighining in at 219 pounds, representing El BANG! Hermanos, he is one half of the FIRESIDE Tag Team Champions, EEEELLLLLLLL COMBAATIIIIENNTTTTEEEEE!
The opening of the TuPac’s “To Live and Die in LA” hits the pa system and El Combatiente follows his manager Javier onto the stage. They look around soaking up there surrounding until El Combatiente breaks into a full sprint for the ring and slides in. Javier slowly walks to ringside and takes his position at ringside as El Combatiente stretches in the ring preparing for his match to begin.
Wright: If the contenders want to cement their place at Fuel for the Fire, this is the man they've got to go through!
Park: The last time we saw El Combatiente in action, he was at the top of the ladder winning the match for his team at Good Riddance. It's not gonna be easy.
Wright: El Combatiente is here to make sure they don't have to defend in a triple threat. And if both champions they win, not only do they pick their first opponents, they pick the stipulation.
Stanford: Introducing next, from Raleigh, North Carolina, weighing in at 200 pounds, representing Top of the Class, she is MISSSTREEEEEESSSS DISSSSSCCIIPLIIIIINE!
"The Planets Op. 32: IV. Jupiter- Bringer of Jollity" by Gustav Holst begins to play on the arena speakers. The lights dim slightly and a spotlight appears on the stage. Mistress Discipline steps onto the stage and adjusts the high collar and neckline of her trademark blue blouse. She marches to the ring with a purpose and without glasses because she wears contacts into the ring so she can see. She rolls into the ring and adjusts her trademark hair buns. She steps into the corner and begins stretching her arms while awaiting her opponent.
Wright: Mistress Discipline makes her return to singles action in FIRESIDE tonight!
Park: After that cake walk over The Boarding Party, she's really going to be put to the test here.
Wright: Oh... look who it is.
The fans start to boo as Greg the Assistant climbs into the ring. Stanford reluctantly hands him the microphone.
Greg, The Assistant: Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to The Hearth in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania! Regardless of its placement on the card, this is your Main Event of the evening. The following is a Who Goes First Part One match!
"The Planets Op. 32: IV. Jupiter- Bringer of Jollity" by Gustav Holst plays and The Hearth comes unglued.
Wright: Wait, that's Mistress Discipline's music!
The lights dim slightly and a spotlight appears on the stage. Water bottles and beer cups begin being thrown at the entrance before Evan even steps out. Evan Valentine Jr. steps onto the stage and adjusts the high collar and neckline of his Ben Simmons jersey and is washed with jeers and taunts.
Park: First he steals Ace Sky's music, now Mistress Discipline's!
Wright: And right in front of her!
New Money, lead by X Crown Champion El Rey walks out smirking while The Fabulous Valentine Cousins, Lance Jr. and Brian Jr. walk out behind him. Evan actually acts like he’s going to slap some hands down the aisle, but then abruptly stops and sticks up his middle finger at the booing fans. El Rey throws his head back and laughs at the gullible fans while Lance Jr. and Brian Jr. take their cue and laugh with him. Evan Valentine Jr. slides into the ring and yells “MOVE!!” at El Combatiente and Mistress Discipline and then jumps onto the middle of the second rope, bouncing up and down while pulling on his Ben Simmons jersey. Then he does his “EV” hand sign before he hops down, and asks for the mic from Greg.
Evan Valentine Jr.: (to Mistress Discipline) Yo, this is the worst song I ever heard in my life.
The fans boo Evan as Mistress Discipline dismissively chuckles at Valentine’s taste in music.
Greg, The Assistant: Hailing from the warm sands of Palm Springs, California; Standing 5’11 inches tall, and weighing 227 pounds; He is the best thing to happen to Philadelphia since The Mummers; The Master of the Threeway; He is The XHF Kingpin, He Is Fireside’s Newcomer of the Year, He is The Winner of COCK Battle Royale, MY GOD, Just look at him! He’s EVAN VALENTINE JR.!!!
The crowd continue to boo as Mistress Discipline's music fades out. She seems totally unfazed by Valentine's antics. El Combatiente remains focused and on guard, while Valentine allows himself to be distracted by the fans: a small group of very vocal ones in particular.
Wright: Valentine definitely knows how to light up a room. Listen to those fans.
Park: Here we go!
The referee rings the bell and Valentine immediately scoots through the ropes. Discipline and Combatiente start to advance on each other.
Park: That's a wise move by Valentine. He's not popular with either of them so he's going to have to pick his spots.
The two of them lock up in the middle. Discipline quickly turns it into an arm wrench. Combatiente powers out of it and goes behind her for a waistlock. He runs her into the ropes looking to end it quick with an O'Connor roll but Discipline hangs on to the ropes. Combatiente hits her with some hard shots to the back then pulls her back into the middle of the ring, keeping the waistlock in. Discipline suddenly spins out of it in a 360 motion and scissors Combatiente's legs to take him down face first to the mat. She swiftly circles Combatiente to get into position for a front facelock. Combatiente uses his extra weight to push himself off the mat and start to make it to his feet. With Combatiente's arms now wrapped around her, Discipline delivers stiff knees to his chest. Combatiente absorbs the blows then dead lifts her into a huge quasi-snap suplex.
Wright: What strength by El Combatiente!
Park: Valentine's on the apron!
Valentine looks about to get in the ring but hesitates when Combatiente doesn't go for the cover. Combatiente runs at Valentine with a dropkick but Valentine leaps backwards to the mat, narrowly avoiding it. Combatiente is straight back to his feet and runs to the adjacent set of ropes. He hits them to come back and lands a senton on Discipline. Combatiente sees Valentine jump to the apron again and runs right at him. Valentine jumps off again but this time Combatiente doesn't go for a move and just bounces off the ropes. He bounces off the ropes at the other end, then runs towards Valentine at high speed and dives through the ropes with a suicide dive!
Wright: He got him! Valentine went absolutely flying!
Combatiente lands perfectly unharmed and quickly climbs to the top turnbuckle. He spins off towards Discipline with a 630 senton! He makes the cover!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...KICKOUT!
Park: El Combatiente is on a roll! I thought that was it!
Combatiente grabs Discipline's head and tries to pull her up with him. After a struggle, Combatiente manages to get her up and underhook her arms in position for the Vertibreaker!
Wright: He's going for Street Justice!
Park: Watch out!
Valentine is back in the ring and smashes Combatiente in the back with a steel chair! Discipline stumbles forward out of the move and rests on the ropes, while Valentine grabs Combatiente's arm and lifts him onto his shoulders.
Wright: Evansent! Valentine's got him!
With Combatiente facing upwards, Valentine falls to the side driving his head into the steel chair!
Wright: EVANSENT!
Park: On the chair! It's over!
Valentine moves hastily into a lateral press.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...NO!
Discipline breaks it up, pushing Valentine off of Combatiente just in time! With a short run-up she baseball slide dropkicks Valentine almost out of the ring then quickly covers Combatiente.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...Valentine breaks it up!
Wright: Mistress Discipline almost stole it!
Valentine keeps hold of her leg in a dragon screw position. Both wrestlers hesitate for a moment, before Discipline makes the first move with a huge slap! Valentine releases her leg and she slaps him again! Then she hits him with a big boot sending him staggering back into the ropes. Grabbing the ropes for leverage, Discipline hits a quick series of stiff knee shots to the gut. With all of the fight taken out of Valentine, Discipline runs to the opposite ropes and comes back with a huge bicycle knee!
Wright: Final Bell!
Park: Valentine is OUT!
Discipline leaps onto Combatiente.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THR-KICKOUT!
Park: No! He's still alive!
Discipline is momentarily stunned, but shakes it off and runs over to Valentine. She pulls him away from the ropes and hooks his leg.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...KICKOUT!
She pulls him to his feet then wraps her arms around his waist. She hits a Northern Lights suplex and holds the bridge.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...KICKOUT!
Immediately after the kickout she rolls over backwards, keeping hold of him to set up another Northern Lights. Instead she hits a reverse STO and rolls back into a Koji clutch!
Wright: The Detention!
Park: Discipline is a woman possessed!
Valentine's face is screwed up in agony, his neck trapped between Discipline's arm and leg. Discipline pulls backwards with all her strength, increasing the pressure. He waves his arm back and forth, looking like he's about to tap. Discipline looks like she can taste victory, but she shrewdly takes a look around her. El Combatiente is starting to recover.
Wright: She's not got much time left!
Park: Just hang on, Evan!
Combatiente slowly starts to sit up. He rolls onto his front to help push himself up, crawling closer to Discipline at the same time. Discipline tightens the hold even more, Valentine yelling in pain. Combatiente moves sluggishly but with dogged determination, holding his neck awkwardly. Discipline suddenly releases Valentine and gets up to face Combatiente. She dives into his head with a sliding knee, knocking him face first onto the mat. Without delay she applies The Detention on him!
Wright: Another Detention! That's got to be it!
Combatiente's hand is out ready to tap. Discipline pulls back, her eyes remorseless. Combatiente keeps hanging on and the volume of the crowd increases, the fans in awe of his toughness. Discipline is putting absolutely everything into the move. So much so that she doesn't see Valentine above them with a steel chair!
Park: No!
Valentine slams the chair into Discipline's arm and ribs, breaking up the hold. The crowd boo while Discipline writhes on the mat. Valentine then slams the chair into the back of Combatiente. Valentine grins as the fans shower him with boos, then his face twists into a ruthless frown and he hits Discipline again with the chair. Then again! ...and again! ...and again! ...and again!
Park: Stop!!!
Wright: Stop it, Evan!
Valentine throws the chair into the top rope and it falls to the mat. He grabs Combatiente and hauls him up off the mat, then onto his shoulders for Evansent. But Combatiente slips out and lands on his feet. Valentine looks to hit him with a left but Combatiente outspeeds him with a quick jab. He hits Valentine with a barrage of forearms that backs him up all the way to the ropes. Combatiente whips him to the opposite ropes, ducks his clothesline, then on the way back hits a dropsault!
Park: El Combatiente is back in this! I thought he was done!
Wright: Let's go!
Combatiente climbs the corner and waits on Valentine getting up. Before he can jump off, Valentine shoots up to join him and hooks him in a t-bone. Combatiente pushes him back down to the mat. Valentine quickly rolls to his feet and grabs the referee to use as a shield. Combatiente hesitates, and Valentine shoves the referee into the ropes crotching Combatiente on the buckle!
Wright: Come on!
Park: Valentine is absolutely shameless.
Valentine drags Combatiente out of the corner. He grabs him by the head and uses the full diagonal of the ring to get momentum and throw him shoulder first into the opposite post, making a hideous thud. Valentine pulls him out then snapmares him onto the mat, locking in a rear chinlock. At the same time he drives his knee into Combatiente's neck.
Wright: And now he's back to finish the job!
Park: His neck has got to be wasted!
Valentine then bludgeons Combatiente head sadistically with a closed fist. He lifts him back to his feet and holds him in place, then looks over at the groggy Mistress Discipline. He grins then puts Combatiente's head between his legs.
Wright: A powerbomb now?
He lifts Combatiente into the air then hits a sitdown powerbomb!
Park: The Expulsion!
Wright: Made famous by Mistress Discipline! It can't end like this!
He pushes Combatiente legs away then gets up to hook his leg.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THR-NO!
Discipline makes a last-gasp dive to break it up! Valentine gets to his feet and stares at her in disbelief, giving Discipline the time to make a dive for the steel chair. Valentine backs away, his eyes wide. Discipline stares at him, armed with the chair and looking intent on revenge.
Wright: Uh oh.
A loud reaction from the crowd causes the camera to swing away from Discipline. El Rey is standing on the apron.
Wright: Oh, what now?!
The referee confronts El Rey but Discipline is only distracted for a second. She has her eyes back on Valentine, but she doesn't see Brian Jr. in the ring. He grabs the chair and tries to wrench it from her hands!
Park: Now Valentine's cousin's in the ring!
Wright: How much help does he need?!
Discipline has a tight grip of it however and Brian hastily retreats out of the ring. When Discipline turns back to Valentine she's met with a thumb to the eye!
Wright: Dammit.
She drops the chair to the mat. Valentine whips her into the corner, her back bashing into the turnbuckles. Now with a sense of urgency he starts kicking her viciously, forcing her into a sitting position. He continues to stomp her, then stops to pick up the chair and rolls out of the ring. He grabs her leg, swings her around, then wraps it around the post.
Wright/Park: NO!
He hits three sick shots with the chair, ignoring her tortured yells. Then he drops the chair to the floor and slides back in the ring. As the fans continue to boo, he pulls Combatiente up to his feet. He locks his arm, lifts him up onto his shoulders, then sends his head into the mat with the Evansent! He hooks his leg.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THREE!
The referee calls for the bell.
Stanford: Here is your winner, EVAAAAN VALEENTIIIINEE JUUUUNIOOOOOOORRR!
New Money climb into the ring to celebrate with Valentine. Valentine is happy to see them, oblivious to his broken opponents and the angry fans.
Wright: Well... there you have it.
Park: It doesn't seem right, but it looks like Valentine is heading to Fuel for the Fire.
Wright: Now it's all down to their partners in the second part later tonight. Stay tuned!
Stanford: The following contest is Who Goes First Part Two, scheduled for One Fall! Introducing first… from Boston, Massachusetts, weighing in at 218 pounds, representing New Appendages, he is DYLAAAAAAAAN BLAAAAACKKKKKKKKK!
"Blood, Tears, Dust" by Lacuna Coil hits the sound system, and there is an eruption of boos and some cheers. He stands atop the stage, slowly raising his hand to taunt the crowd. The One-armed Bandit stands as a flash of light illuminates the stage as the rest of the arena is cast in darkness. Almost as if the very gods themselves are announcing his arrival. He makes his way down the ring, sliding in and leaning against the ropes as he awaits his opponents.
Wright: The former X-Crown champion is back in the building tonight for what should be a helluva triple threat match.
Park: Two-time X-Crown champion, Oliver. One of the most dominant wrestlers of all time, even one-handed. And he’s got bad blood with both men in this match, with Kanyon taking his world championship years ago, and Death Trap pretty much taking his arm!
Wright: I can’t confirm that last bit, but what I can confirm is that within the rules of tonight, if Dylan wins the match against the tag team champs becomes a two-on-two affair with El Bang Hermanos taking on El Bang Hermanos.
Park: He and Kanyon will have the same objective to keep it that way, while Death Trap will be playing to get in, so to speak.
Stanford: Introducing next… representing Top of the Class, making his way to the ring, hailing from Seattle, Washington, standing at 6'4" and weighing in at 260 pounds, he is the Master of the Dragon Sleeper… former two time X*Crown Champion … “The Main Attraction”... DEAAAAATH TRAAAAPPPPPP!
The lights dim, red and gold strobe lights dart around the darkened arena. The soft ten second guitar intro to “Shoulders” by Coheed and Cambria plays. The tron has come to life when the lights dimmed and displays "And now … FIRESIDE presents … its MAIN ATTRACTION!" A foot shatters the screen as the heavy guitar riff rocks the arena. DT slowly walks into a red spotlight on the stage with his head down hidden under a hoodie. It's black and has his custom interlocking DT logo with an Italian flag and mariners compass on it on the back. He stands in the spotlight and slowly looks up showing off his signature bowler hat and sunglasses under the hood.
"Listen now that I've got your attention, Got to let you know. I hate to see you go, now that you're gone we can enjoy the show. When you find them laughing at you there's no worse thing. Hey! … my wicked eyes do see … that I'm the one with the world on my shoulders"
He slowly pushes the hood back revealing a serious face as he lowers his sunglasses before pulling them off and placing them in his hoodie pocket as he gazes around the sold out crowd. The strobe lights turn blue and move faster around the Hearth as he soaks in the adoration of the FIRESIDE faithful.
Wright: Fans have been calling for Death Trap to join FIRESIDE for over a year now, and after the big victory against the Boarding Party, he’s only just heating up.
Park: He’s got the biggest chip on his shoulder going into this match, with Kanyon and Black seemingly working towards similar goals after Mistress Discipline was unable to pick up the win for his their team earlier. Some have said they had a much easier path to the titles than New Appendages, and now’s his chance to shut that up here and now.
He unzips the hoodie as he moves towards the ring and drops it to the floor as he reaches the ring steps. He stops on the ring steps to look out at the crowd. He climbs to the apron and spins, hooking his arms over the top rope. A blue spotlight illuminates DT in the ring as the strobes die down. The Xtremetron shows “Stealing the show, one match at a time.” He points out to the crowd and amps them up before stepping through the middle rope and running to the opposite side, grasping the top rope as he steps onto the bottom rope and points out at the crowd again. He steps to the center of the ring and removes his hat, tossing it to the timekeeper, before stretching on the ropes and cracking his neck and knuckles, waiting for the bell.
Wright: Does this type of match put the former two-time X-Crown champion Death Trap at a distinct disadvantage, with Kanyon being highly intelligent yet also insane and Dylan being particularly violent, in a match where there are no disqualifications?
Park: It certainly doesn’t help him, Oliver. It certainly doesn’t help.
Stanford: And finally…representing the FIRESIDE Tag Team champions EL BANG HERMANOS, now residing in Washington D.C., weighing 270 pounds, he is CURTISSSSSS KAAAAAAANYYYONNNNN!
"Don't Tread on Me" by Metallica blares over the P.A. Former President Curtis D. Kanyon emerges from the curtain when the cymbal crashes at the 30 second mark. He's got a sledgehammer slung over one shoulder and his Fireside tag team title over the other. Curtis pounds his chest with his fist then raises the hammer in the air. He walks down to the ring, nodding to the fans. He grabs a "BANG!" sign from a fan and shows it to the camera, giving a thumbs up before he tosses it back into the crowd. Curtis then climbs into the ring and goes to the turnbuckles. He climbs a turnbuckle and points to the crowd with his hammer, then hoists it straight up into the air and yells "BANG!" He jumps down and ponders giving his hammer to the ref, before realizing he absolutely doesn’t need to tonight!
Wright: After El Combatiente couldn’t get the job done, what’s in the FIRESIDE tag team champion’s mind as he prepares to do battle here?
Park: You couldn’t pay me a million dollars to correctly predict what’s on Kanyon’s mind -- but violence, I’d imagine. All three wrestlers in this match have history, he’s also a former X-Crown champion, and if there’s anywhere Kanyon succeeds, it’s in big spotlight matches like this one. The former Call to Arms winner is always capable of handling business, especially when he doesn’t have to give a damn about the rules.
The bell rings and the opening of the contest looks more like Elden Ring than a wrestling match as both Death Trap and Dylan Black are forced into defensive positions and rolling away from the former President of the United States, who is still very much fully armed with his trademark sledgehammer and looking to put this one to bed early. Unluckily for him, his one-armed opponent manages to get off a shotgun dropkick, knocking the implement of destruction from Kanyon’s hand to the floor outside of the ring. Black takes this as his opportunity to open things with a series of jabs from his remaining hand, going for an irish whip only to find himself chop blocked by a game Death Trap who’s been patiently waiting for his moment to strike. Trap manages to catch a rebounding Kanyon with a hip toss as he comes back, but his focus early is on Dylan.
Wright: After a chaotic start where I thought Kanyon might behead or murder someone, Death Trap has taken early control.
Park: His objective is going to be to keep this match as nonviolent as possible. The more violent this match gets, the worse off he is in the long run as it moves further and further away from his technical wrestling, submission-based wheelhouse.
Death Trap gets a surprising amount of air, leaping up and landing on Dylan’s human leg with a firm elbow as he looks to ground Black. He goes to lock on a simple heel hook, but Kanyon’s enthusiasm keeps Trap from getting settled as he gets sent into the corner. Kanyon clotheslines Trap in the corner, knocking him down to the mat before being taken down by a bulldog from Dylan. Dylan decides to waste no more time and heads. to the outside of the ring. The Extremely Violent Everyday specialist begins sliding weapons underneath the ropes and tossing them over the ropes in a way that is clearly to rile up the crowd before spotting a spare set of ring ropes. He grabs the ropes and looks at them with specific plans, climbing back into the ring and using them at first as a whip, lashing the fronts and backs of his opponents with loud strikes that echo through the arena!
Wright: Black is whipping ass in there!
Park: I’d only say that for Kanyon, but the point is made! Look at those welts!
The bodies of Death Trap and Curtis Kanyon quickly show the battle scars as large red marks now cover different areas of their flesh. Black uses his robotic leg to get a little extra oomph in kicking the downed Kanyon out under the rope and to the floor, seemingly focusing on Death Trap for now. He grabs Death Trap’s right arm and ties a rope around it before climbing up to the top turnbuckle and leaping down to the floor, using gravity to try to pull it out of its socket!
Wright: Ugh! Black is trying to pull Trap’s arm from his body!
Park: That might take superhuman strength to pull off, but damn that has to hurt!
Trap yells out in pain as Black places a foot on the ring apron and uses it for leverage, pulling back with all of his might and causing Trap himself to be pulled across the ring in an attempt to lessen the damage. Black keeps his hold on the ropes as Death Trap grimaces in pain, but Black’s efforts are put on pause by Kanyon BANGING him through the barricade!
Wright: Whoah! A BANG out of nowhere, sending Black and Kanyon both through the barricade and into the laps of the fans in the front row!
Park: They’re getting more than they paid for now, but I wouldn’t want to be that close to Kanyon!
Wright: You can see on the replay, nearly Dylan’s entire body was open for that move, and Kanyon took full advantage to rip him apart!
Park: This is that violence we talked about earlier, on full display!
The crowd boos as President Curtis Kanyon returns to his feet with a grin on his face, basking in the cheers from the Bang Bros section of the Hearth. He steps over the broken barricade, gives the rope still tied to Death Trap’s arm a hearty yank for good measure, then looks under the ring for one of his weapons of choice. The crowd pops as he slides in a table, then slides in another for good measure. The champion is not screwing around tonight as he climbs back into the ring, looking for a measure of violence and vengeance against potentially one of his contenders.
Wright: This is the perfect opportunity for Kanyon, with Black down and out out of the ring he can really inflict damage on Trap, maybe even put him away!
Park: For the time being, it’s a one-on-one, and Kanyon’s got a dangerous look in his eyes!
Kanyon looks at the ring rope still tied to Death Trap’s arm and grabs it, pulling Trap closer to him and the table he’s now set up in the corner. Trap is in a bad way as he’s prevented from getting back to his feet by Kanyon lifting up for a powerbomb to send him through the table, but he counters by sliding out of the grip, seamlessly transitioning into a Cut the Strings cutter as he lands!
Wright: Cut the Strings! Death Trap might have caught Kanyon there!
Park: Is it enough? The cover and the count!
…ONE!
…TW-Kanyon kicks out!
Death Trap sits up after Death Trap kicks out, then realizes what he should probably first do is get the damn ring rope off his arm. He looks down at the knot that Black has created and pulls it loose, freeing him from its grasp but also revealing a dark red ring wrapped around his arm where his circulation was being cut off. He grabs Kanyon and locks him in a half crab, putting pressure on Kanyon’s spine in the center of the ring!
Wright: For Death Trap, his best weapon might be his submissions, as we’re seeing here with this half crab!
Park: The table’s right there, though! Give us a table!
The Breaker of Worlds is in danger of being broken in half as he reaches out for any sort of rope he can get his hands on, knowing full well that there are no breaks to save him even if he does get out. He presses up in a push-up position and begins to crawl, but Death Trap loosens the hold to pull him right back, then reapplies the hold in the center of the ring! The crowd rises to their feet as Kanyon reaches an arm out, clearly suffering for his team as Trap has a deathgrip on this hold!
Wright: It’s not looking so good for Kanyon right now!
Park: Even if the tag team champ gets out of this hold, good luck dealing with the pain from it!
Death Trap’s eyes go wide as what ends up breaking the hold is Dylan Black springboarding off the top rope and crashing down with a crossbody! The referee counts!
…ONE!
…TWO!
Death Trap kicks out!
The submission specialist quickly makes it back to his feet after getting pinned and goes low to catch Black off guard with a jawbreaker, but Black breaks Trap’s hand positioning and hops up on his shoulders! Death Trap knows what’s coming next and tries to get him down for the Main Attraction, but Black keeps his seat, then throws caution to the wind by executing a poisonrana, sending Death Trap crashing through the table in the corner!
Wright: Headstrong through the table!
Park: Death Trap’s gotta be down and out, so is Kanyon, it’s Black’s time! Here’s the cover to make it a one team match at Fuel for the Fire!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Death Trap kicks out!
Wright: Death Trap’s refusing to stay down there, kicking out again!
Park: It’s a noble stand but it’s also probably why he’s going to have to have Mistress pick splinters out of his back later!
Black gets behind the still-down Death Trap and hooks his arm around Trap’s throat, beginning to rapidly choke him out with a one-armed version of the dragon sleeper! An angry Black can’t quite get Trap’s second arm to cooperate as he has nothing to hold him down, but he keeps the hold applied and tries to will Trap off to dream street!
Wright: If Trap falls unconscious here, Top of the Class is completely out of the tag match at Fuel for the Fire!
Park: It’s not the most effective dragon sleeper, but it might be the most effective one!
Black wrenches on the hold as referee Chris Mardinly raises his arm! It immediately drops, a sign that Black takes as encouraging as the referee goes to raise it once more. It drops a second time and the crowd begins to boo Death Trap potentially passing out to end this match, but they quickly come back around as on the third drop, Death Trap manages to will himself to strike back at Dylan, firing back and freeing himself! He charges Black but Black responds by quickly yeeting a chair that had been thrown into the ring straight into his face!
Wright: A brutal shot from Black there!
Park: You could really get a feel for all of the anger in that one!
An irritated Dylan Black sees Kanyon coming this time, preventing the charging Kanyon from landing a second BANG by jumping up and letting him send himself shoulder first into the ring post! Black pops the crowd by reaching into his tights and pulling out a middle finger in response to almost getting crushed again, and when Kanyon peels himself out of the corner, Black locks in the single stomach claw/reverse bearhug combination!
Wright: Three Nights of Hell! Black is rolling here!
Park: President Kanyon finds himself locked in a second painful hold this match! Can he manage to get himself free?
Black is unfortunately surprised as he realizes that the Three Nights of Hell may not be a move for him in his current condition as Kanyon uses his strength to power out of the hold, then powerslams Dylan back to the mat! The champion looks at the other table and quickly sets it up, waiting for him to turn around, before coming through with a rolling spinebuster that splits the table directly in half!
Wright: Spinebuster! Every man is down except the President!
Park: What a proclamation this would be if he picks up the win here!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Kickout! Dylan Black kicks out!
Wright: These guys are beating the hell out of each other!
Park: What’s it going to take to carve out a win here?
President Kanyon looks around the ring for his weapon of choice, then spots his trusty sledgehammer that had landed on the floor. He rolls out of the ring and grabs it, kissing the top of it as the crowd boos. He rolls back into the ring and looks at who to strike first with the damn thing, then decides that his target of choice is Death Trap. He strikes straight at the man’s ribcage, causing him to drop to his knees and cough as he goes down hard!
Wright: It’s hammer time out here!
Park: These guys are annihilating each other!
Dylan Black hasn’t even gotten up yet by the time he also gets struck with a hammer to the leg!
Wright: An offensive position from Kanyon!
Park: He’s opening these guys up like a can opener! Look at the blood beginning to trickle out!
Kanyon drops the hammer, satisfied with his work as he harshly shoves down a still-coughing Death Trap and hooks both legs!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THR-NO!
Death Trap somehow kicks out!
Kanyon immediately goes to pin Black the same way, kicking him in the human leg before the pin!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…NO!
Dylan gets the arm up!
Wright: Two nothings for Kanyon there as both competitors still have life in them! Dylan and Death Trap both resiliently refuse to stay down!
Park: What bag of tricks is he going to have to dig in to get this one done?
Kanyon seems to have the same set of thoughts rushing through his mind before he spots a face down Dylan Black. The crowd rises to their feet and begins to boo wildly as Kanyon grabs both of Black’s arms and pulls back, looking for the Dynamic Outro!
Wright: It’s the worst way possible, to potentially get beaten with your own finisher!
Park: Kanyon’s this close to keeping his match between two teams!
The crowd makes a commotion that distracts Kanyon long enough to release the hold as Evan Valentine Jr. makes a beeline down to the ring to save his partner, armed with a chair! He plasters the FIRESIDE Tag Team champion with it, drawing blood as Kanyon goes down like a sack of sledgehammers!
Wright: I can’t believe it! Evan Valentine making the save!
Park: Maybe he cares about Dylan after all!
Evan looks down and spots a downed Dylan Black, then goes to get him back up but Dylan is still down and clearly hurting. Evan gives him a smack on the back of the head before shoving him onto Kanyon and sitting on Dylan’s back to use his own body weight to keep him down for the count!
Wright: Is Kanyon going to collapse under the weight of this all?
Park: New Appendages may steal this one! Here’s the cover!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Death Trap crashes into the pile with a shining wizard to Evan, landing on Black and breaking the pin!
Wright: Breakdown! Death Trap just saved this match for him and his team!
Park: Top of the Class gets to live a few more moments!
Trap spots a downed Kanyon and peels him backward, locking in his seated dragon clutch, the Death Trap!
Wright: Death Trap with the Death Trap! Kanyon’s down, center of the ring, Black’s down, Valentine’s down, can the former X-Crown champion get it done right here, right now?
Park: The entire crowd is on their feet!
Death Trap keeps the hold fully applied, screaming TAP at the top of his lungs as he looks for the submission! Kanyon screams out in pain, his back having been twisted like a pretzel earlier and now being twisted even further now! He reaches out towards the ropes but can’t find them, leading the crowd to get even louder!
Wright: He’s got this one in the bag! He’s so close!
Park: Kanyon’s going to have to give here!
Kanyon does his best to shake his head no, grimacing in pain and even biting his own fingers so he doesn’t tap! Trap wrenches back on the hold again!
Wright: This is going to break his back if he doesn’t give here!
Park: How’s he going to defend at Fuel for the Fire without a working spine?
The crowd is on their feet as Kanyon and Death Trap’s joint screaming seems to blend into a strange tongue, a symphony of pain only interrupted when the crowd reacts with boos as a bandaged El Combatiente hits the ring! Trap is forced to let go of Kanyon as the tag team champion kicks him in the sides as hard as he can, then grabs his head and looks at the ropes, before grabbing Trap and crashing back down to the ring with sliced bread!
Wright: This is breaking down into a carcrash out here! Now the other half of the FIRESIDE tag team champions is out here!
Park: And he just crushed Death Trap with sliced bread! That should do it, that should be enough!
El Combatiente pulls Kanyon’s arm over top of Death Trap!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THR-NO! Death Trap gets the shoulder up! The crowd roars!
Wright: He just won’t die tonight, ladies and gentlemen! Death Trap kicks out of another big move!
Park: How does he find the energy? And what’s going to put someone away?
Wright: It looks like El Combatiente is about to put this match in his own hands once again!
The crowd fiercely boos as El Combatiente grabs the two-time X-Crown champion, hooking his arms back and beginning to turn over, looking for the Vertebreaker!
Wright: If the champ can get under Trap and pop him up, he can break his spirit with his Vertebreaker right here!
Park: The crowd hates that this is going to end, but this is why you never count out the champions! They always find ways to get the job done!
The booing quickly disintegrates into raucous cheers as a hobbling Mistress Discipline does her best to get down to the ring in a hurry! El Combatinate quickly tosses Trap aside, but it’s not quick enough to get his hands up and prevent himself from getting rocked with a Final Bell bicycle knee strike!
Wright: The cavalry has arrived! If everyone else can have their partner, why not Death Trap?
Park: She looks like a woman on a mission!
El Combatiente drops from the ring, grabbing at his face as Mistress reaches down to grab her injured leg before spotting Kanyon’s sledgehammer. She looks down at her downed partner and screams in a rage, beginning to swing for the fences!
Wright: She’s on the warpath!
Park: LOOK OUT!
Mistress Discipline gets all of her power behind swinging the hammer, striking Evan Valentine in the gut and dropping him to his knees! Dylan Black tries to rip the hammer away, but instead catches a hammer shot straight underneath his chin!
Wright: Discipline is raging out here!
Park: She has had enough and this crowd couldn’t agree more!
Discipline turns around, realizing the only one left in the ring besides her partner is Kanyon himself. She looks at the hammer and gives a strong nod, knowing what she has to do before absolutely blasting Kanyon with his own hammer!
Wright: BAM! A helluva statement from Discipline!
Park: That should do it!
Discipline collapses in an exhausted heap as Death Trap crawls over, throwing his arm on top of Kanyon! The crowd counts along!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THREE!
The bell rings!
Wright: They’ve done it! They’ve done it! Top of the Class has made it a triple threat tag match at Fuel for the Fire!
Park: What a match! What a war!
Stanford: Here is your winner, DEAAAAAAAATH TRAAAAAPPPPPP! Therefore, the match at Fuel for the Fire is now El Bang Hermanos vs. New Appendages vs. TOOOOOP OOOF THE CLASSSSSSSSSS!
The crowd thunderously approves as Death Trap crawls towards Discipline, slowly realizing what’s happened. The grins on their faces are a mile wide as they embrace in the center of the ring.
Wright: Everyone in this match brought their A-game and absolutely tried to destroy one another, even bringing their partners into the fray!
Park: In the end, Death Trap outlasted all of the punishment Black and Kanyon could throw at them, and then got the win with a mighty assist from Discipline!
Wright: Both champions took a fall tonight, what’s that say about El Bang Hermanos’ chances come Fuel for the Fire?
Park: As big of a win as this is for Top of the Class, you can never count out El Combatiente and President Curtis Kanyon! They’ll be ready to defend when the lights are on at their brightest!
Both members of Top of the Class return to their feet. Referee Chris Mardinly raises their arms once more, causing the crowd to launch into joyous cheers.
Stanford: The following contest is the Penalty Box match, and is our main event! This match will last exactly a half hour! If you are pinned or made to submit, you must spend five minutes in the Penalty Box! Whoever scores the most falls or submissions in the thirty minute time limit is the winner, and is the 2021 FIRESIDE Wrestler of the Year!
Wright: One of our biggest matches ever is immediately followed with another huge match!
Park: Five wrestlers, one award. Who’s gonna take it? We’re about to find out, penalty box style!
The camera pans up the ramp to the titular penalty box, complete with wooden barrier and encased in large sheets of glass. There is room for more than one wrestler in the box as ring announcer Walter Stanford makes the introductions.
Stanford: Introducing first, from San Diego, California, weighing in at 165 pounds, they are the Shining Star, MMMMMMYYYYYYYYYŌJIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNN!
Are you ready?
The lights dim down while the catchy, fast paced rock of RAINBOWS by A9 echoes as a spotlight suddenly appears on a figure on the ramp, with his back turned and begins kneeling. Once the beat finally kicks in, MYOJIN explodes with energy- wearing a masquerade-style mask over his eyes, and turns around with a confident smile on his face, raising his arms to soak in the positive reaction from everyone around.
With his blonde locks hanging over his face. He then whips his head back, flipping his hair out of his face before excitedly running down the ring before performing a cartwheel and a jump, landing on his feet near ringside!
He climbs up to the apron, grabs a hold of the top rope, and slingshots himself into the ring. MYOJIN performs a somersault roll, landing on his side with a hand on his hip. The other, taking off his mask to reveal his piercing blue eye contacts. He tosses it aside nonchalantly before climbing up the top turnbuckle, tilting his head upward as if he’s looking toward the sky- while the lights mimic stars above. He backflips off, back onto his feet while taking off his flamboyant coat and moving to his corner. The lights go back to normal as he checks his wrist tape. His charismatic smile fading to a more focused expression as he paces back and forth, ready for action.
Wright: MYŌJIN had themselves a year, winning the Junior Heavyweight Championship and the X-Crown championship!
Park: It’s a hell of a stake to claim, but tonight doesn’t seem to be about the award for them. Tonight is the night they finally get their hands on Anthony Caffrey, who stole a Wildfire Championship from them and then the pair lost to El Bang Hermanos at Good Riddance.
Wright: Both parties have pointed fingers at each other, the ugly loss making MYOJIN more bitter than before. They spoke up about it and talked about taking the plunge into a fresh start and getting over a lot of mental demons, and tonight is theri chance to do so by scoring a huge victory to get the year off on the right foot.
Stanford: Introducing next, accompanied to the ring by Johnny Five, from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 175 pounds, he is the Self-Made God, MISHAAAAAAA CONSTANTINEEEEEEEE!
The arena lights cut out. A ring of fire ignites at the head of the entrance way, in the middle of which rises a figure in golden armour tarnished and warped by immense heat:
"Let's take a good look at you"
'Swallowing The Rabbit Whole' kicks in, the crowd booing vociferously as the Self-Made God Misha Constantine begins to walk to the ring. If he has any reaction to their scorn, the golden mask upon his face hides it.
Nowhere to run...
Only one way down...
Nowhere to go...
Misha walks up the ring steps and enters between the ropes, moving to the middle of the ring. He hits hidden catches in the armour, letting it fall away to stand there in his ring gear.
THINNERS OF THE HERD!!!
Misha raises his arms and gives the crowd two middle fingers; turning slowly to allow everyone a good view of both.
Wright: A fantastic year for Misha Constantine as well to stake his claim, the best Rumble finisher in FIRESIDE, multiple tag team victories, and he was the one who brought the Crown into FIRESIDE, then won it again to keep it here!
Park: It was a banner-making year for the two-time X-Crown champion, but standing across the ring from him is one of the two wrestlers who took the Crown from him. You can see the fire in Misha, always angry as ever, ready to go for this contest.
Wright: And just outside of the ring, you have his bodyguard and long-time friend, Johnny Five, who also has beef with one of the competitors--
Park: --pretty sure Misha would be happy to lose this match as long as he gets to murder our boss. Five and Divine have payback they’re looking to get, and I’m expecting a helluva beatdown incoming.
Stanford: Introducing third, from Daytona Beach, Florida, weighing in at 230 pounds, he is the Heart of FIRESIDE, he is VODKAAAAAA FIIZZZZZZZ!
The lights go down and blacklights come up, bathing the stage in purple. A hard, grungy bassline starts to play.
'Hey, turn the bass up. Turn the bass up!'
The bass gets louder and grungier, and the lyrics come in as Vodka Fizz dives out on stage in a golf cart retrofitted with huge speakers that are playing his music. He is dressed in a full-length white fur coat, white shutter glasses, and an over-the-top white top hat, and as he drives the golf cart down the ramp he toasts fans with a yard-long cocktail flask hung around his neck full of some florescent liquid he drinks from as he drives down the ramp.
When he gets to ringside, he drapes the fur coat over the seat of the golf cart and removes the top hat, keeping the shades on. he climbs up on the apron, turning to face the crowd and chugging the remnants of his large drink, finally striking a pose and spraying a mouthful of whatever it is up into the air and letting it rain over him. He grins and winks at the camera, then rolls backwards over the ropes into the ring.
Wright: The Heart of FIRESIDE is in the house, a warrior who has been a ton of underrated matches in 2021, down a SPARK championship after becoming the first wrestler to defend it three times, earning himself a shot at the world champion at Fuel for the Fire.
Park: His world champion girlfriend, mind you. That’s gotta be awkward.
Wright: Awkward might’ve been their conversation after Vodka Fizz became the first wrestler to pin our world champion clean as a whistle at Caveat Emptor. Vodka has always felt like he was on the verge of breaking through, and the more you talk to him and others in the back, you have to wonder if now is his time.
Park: It would be a hell of a statement if he could pull it off tonight in this match. We’ll see what he can do!
Stanford: Introducing fourth, from Durham, North Carolina, weighing in at 165 pounds, she is the FIRESIDE World Champion, she is the Southern Belle, she is NATALIEEEEE BURRRRRROWSSSSSS!
”I can finally breathe again.”
The distorted opening lyrics of 'Breathe Again' plays as the overhead lights dim, the sequence of notes following it triggering coral-colored lights to pulse in time... and when the guitars and drums combine to form an explosion of noise? Every light in the arena as well as the tron goes blinding white--and when it fades back to normal a few seconds later? Natalie Burrows is standing at the top of the ramp, the crowd cheering for the Southern Belle as she looks out over the fans with the FIRESIDE World Championship around her waist. A nod of acknowledgement is given. As video footage plays of some of her hardest-hitting moments in the ring, Natalie makes her way down to the ring, slapping the hands of the fans here and there, but her focus is on the ring. Speeding up at the bottom of the ramp, the Southern Belle slides into the ring, rolling onto her back before kipping up to her feet. The nearest turnbuckle is mounted as she looks out over the crowd, removing the title and holding it aloft with one hand to evoke more cheers. She lingers there for a few moments before hopping down, turning the FIRESIDE World Championship over to a P.A. before doing a couple stretches to prepare for the match at hand.
Wright: What can you say about our world champion? It’s no surprise she tallied a strong portion of the votes for FIRESIDE Wrestler of the Year, arriving on the scene and basically never losing a match in 2021, including beating MAJESTY not once, but twice to win and defend the FIRESIDE World Championship!
Park: A lot of people are saying that the champion was their vote for FIRESIDE Wrestler of the Year, and that includes me. She is the total package, a wrestling dynamo who can bring it every single night of the week, and tonight she gets a chance to cement her position at the top of the food chain.
Wright: How do you think she’ll react to being back in the ring with her boyfriend, the current #1 contender to her world championship?
Park: Those two have repeatedly sworn to not take it easy on each other and I can’t imagine tonight is any different, Oliver. The enemy of your enemy is a friend, and with the way they behave together, they’re definitely more than friends.
Stanford: And finally, introducing fifth, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 220 pounds, he is the Father of FIRESIDE, he is ANTHONYYYYYYYY CAFFFFFFREYYYYYYY!
Intense guitar strings begin "Stalker's Tango" by Autoheart, beginning a slick serenade that elicits booing from the capacity crowd, even in the city of Brotherly Love. The man behind the music makes the crowd wait.
Wright: I can’t believe he’s getting booed!
Park: When you’ve been that big of an asshole, that’d explain why!
"I know, I know, I know, this situation's strange
It takes a little getting; little getting used to
Love me-love me-love me-love me, love me-love me-love me-love me
Love me-love me-love me-love me, more than you possibly can"
The Purple Emperor arrives as the boos pick up in volume. He looks out over the crowd and sticks his arms out to soak in their love, only to definitely not get it. He continues down to the ring wearing black and orange tights with a Purple Emperor on the back, a symbol representing the tag team of the same name.
Wright: Anthony Caffrey has turned his back on the wrestlers that made FIRESIDE what it is, claiming he made it all by himself, and now going on a quest to win to win the 2022 Rumble and bring the X-Crown championship back to FIRESIDE.
Park: He stole his entry into this match from Spike Kane, he’s said nasty things about Vodka Fizz, screwed MYOJIN out of multiple title matches, drawn the hate-filled ire of Misha Constantine with his hypocrisy, and assaulted Natalie Burrows’ dear friend. His 2021 may have been quiet, but his 2022 has been obnoxiously loud already.
Wright: He seems to have shed his wool and gone back to being the wolf that held a world title for over 300 days, but with the amount of aggro he’s drawn before the bell has even rung, I don’t like his chances tonight.
Park: Don’t let him hear you say that!
Once Caffrey makes it down to the ring, his demeanor changes. He locks eyes with his opponent and reaches down, tapping his ankle. As he's done for years and conquered many legends with the maneuver, the Father of FIRESIDE signals for the Process, one of the all-time submissions in XHF history, by miming breaking his opponent's ankle in half as if it were a simple wishbone. He stands on the ring steps, then calls for a microphone.
Caffrey: Walter! That was not the entrance announcement I gave you. I’m not entering into this ring until you read the paper I gave you earlier!
The crowd boos, the entrances to this match have already been obnoxiously long. He responds to their booing by yelling at them.
Caffrey: Hey! I’m only making sure Walter does his job and gives you the best entrances possible! If he did his job right the first time, we wouldn’t be here! Now come on ya old man, stand up and make the announcement!
The camera turns to Walter Stanford, who rolls his eyes and is genuinely miffed at having to stand up and redo the announcement. He clears his throat and reads off a sheet of paper.
Stanford: Ahem. Please, ladies and gentlemen of Philadelphia, give a warm welcome to the Father of FIRESIDE, the Strongest Mind in the Game, the Visionary, the Purple Emperor, your 2020 and 2022 XHF Rumble winner, he is ANTHONYYYYYYYY CAFFFFFFREYYYYYYY!
The crowd boos furiously as Caffrey doesn’t even thank Walter, instead taking a short bow. He climbs into the ring to discover that the other four wrestlers in the match are eyeing him like a piece of meat.
Wright: God, I hope they punch him in the face. That announcement was obnoxious.
Park: Who treats our beloved Walter like that? Kick him in the ‘nads!
The bell rings and the camera captures the timer above the ramp beginning its countdown from thirty minutes. A new frame spotlights four wrestlers staring at the Father of FIRESIDE, who stands in front of them with his fists clenched, ready to go. MYOJIN can’t wait to get their hands on him, charging forward, but Caffrey uses the top rope to his advantage, pulling it down and sending the Shining Star tumbling to the outside.
Wright: Caffrey scoring a Rumble elimination on Myo there!
Park: We all wanted the Shining Star to get her hands on him, but not quite yet it seems!
Misha Constantine isn’t as quick and it works out in his favor, allowing the Self-Made God to begin tagging Caffrey with a series of machinegun chops that inspire exclamations from the capacity crowd. Constantine works Caffrey back into the corner and is fired up early, leaving him open to a schoolboy from Fizz!
…ONE!
…T-Natalie Burrows rips Fizz off of Constantine!
Wright: We wondered if those two would align, and I think the answer might be no?
Park: You can’t score let any of your opponent score falls this early, it’ll lead to a constant game of catch-up!
Fizz gets back to his feet and nods at Natalie, the two lovers exchanging a mutual look that gets the crowd buzzing as they prepare to tee off again in a preview over their FIRESIDE world championship match. Prepare is unfortunately the key term for them as Constantine and Caffrey are back at them, catching them off guard. Constantine hurricanranas Vodka Fizz into the second rope while Caffrey gets behind Burrows and attempts to lock in a full nelson, but the world champion is too elusive and manages to slip out of the hold, instead tackling Caffrey with a Lou Thesz press and beginning to punch the stuffing out of him!
Wright: Yeah, Nat! Get him for Adrien!
Park: The world champion is angry as all hell tonight!
Meanwhile, Misha Constantine grabs the top rope and drives a knee into the back of Vodka Fizz’s throat, making him suffer as the referee can’t initiate a count as the match has no disqualification!
Wright: Oh man, that’s making me cough from here!
Park: Constantine could choke Fizz out on the ropes right here and there’s not a thing the referee could do to stop it!
Burrows attention is currently being taken up though, as what stops the world champion from continuing to beat on Caffrey is actually the Shining Star themselves, who rips Burrows off of him. Natalie gives him a look but it quickly becomes clear that MYOJIN wanted a turn instead, taking the time to viciously stomp all over Caffrey! As Myo gets a modicum of revenge, he then turns it up, looking for a bow and arrow submission, but Caffrey slides out of the ring to recover!
Wright: Myo doesn’t quite get even but that had to feel good for them!
Park: Let’s see if they can keep it going!
MYOJIN keeps up on the offensive, hitting a shotei on the world champion followed by a quick spinning back fist. They bounce off the ropes looking for a big move, only to be caught by an Au Batido kick from Constantine! They go down, and Misha quickly covers!
…ONE!
…T-Burrows makes the save again!
Wright: A match like this, it’s hard to score a fall as you have to keep all four of your opponents down at the same time!
Park: Constantine almost stole one there, but not quite enough!
Constantine turns around and charges at Burrows, only to be caught and sent spinning around into a tilt-a-whirl slam! Constantine crashes down onto the mat with authority!
Wright: Grief Cycle from Nat!
Park: The world champion showing the inaugural champ who’s boss here! Here’s the cover!
…ONE!
…TWO!
...MYOJIN breaks up the count with a double axe handle!
Wright: No one has been able to break away from the pack here!
Park: With five phenomenal wrestlers, it’s going to be close for a long time I’d imagine!
The timer above the ramp indicates that seven and a half minutes have passed as the world champion rises back up and charges at the ring ropes, denying Caffrey from entering by catching him with a leaping leg lariat, knocking the owner back down to the floor!
Wright: Denial from the champ!
Park: Caff thought he could sneak back into the ring and paid the price on that one!
The FIRESIDE World Champion turns around to find the former SPARK Champion trying to send her into the ropes, but she counters and puts a little extra force into whipping him into the ropes instead, only to immediately pay for it as he connects with his handspring stunner, the Uno Mas!
Wright: Uno Mas from Fizz! Could he be about to pin the world champion twice in three months?
Park: Imagine the boost to his momentum to score the victory like that before their world title match!
If there’s one thing Fizz knows though, he knows Natalie will not go down easily. He waits for her to get back up and wraps her head in his arm while trapping her other arm behind her back, locking her in a crossface chickenwing!
Wright: Hair of the Dog What Bit Ya! Fizz has his submission hold locked tight on the champ!
Park: Things aren’t looking good for her! This might be it!
Natalie Burrows screams out in pain as Vodka Fizz keeps the hold applied, yelling at her to submit as she fights to get out of the hold. She finds the ropes with her feet and tries to use it to spring backward and force herself on top of him, but this only makes things worse as he anticipates this and takes a giant step back, causing the champ to completely lose her footing. Referee Melanie Davenport leans in as the crowd rises to their feet, anticipating the submission!
Wright: The world champion is in trouble!
Park: What does this mean for her match at Fuel for the Fire? She might need to tap here or it’s going to be a short night for her at the end of the month!
As Burrows is considering submitting, she’s saved by the former X-Crown champion of all people, Misha Constantine, as Constantine absolutely domes the back of Fizz’s head with a trashcan! He goes down hard as the crowd boos!
Wright: Perfectly legal in a Penalty Box match like this!
Park: Fizz is the former Dumpster Fire of FIRESIDE, after all!
Constantine yells for Johnny Five to join him in the ring, and Five does so as Constantine gets Vodka Fizz up and then irish whips him in Five’s direction, only for Five to finish off Vodka Fizz with a devastating spinebuster that smashes the can flat!
Wright: The Self-Made God working smarter, not harder, enlisting the help of his bodyguard to help get the job done!
Park: It’s a smart strategy for sure!
Constantine yells at Five to hold Vodka Fizz down and he does so as Misha scales the ropes, positioning himself for his shooting star senton, the Irae Dei! But before the former two-time X-Crown champion can leap off, MYOJIN gets a running start and leaps up to the top turnbuckle! The two begin to trade punches, neither wanting to fall off as each blow brings them more and more dangerously close to that fate!
Wright: One wrong move and it might be a trip to the penalty box for either of these two competitors!
Park: It’s a smart strategy for sure!
Misha throws another punch but at exactly the wrong moment as MYOJIN ducks underneath, trapping him and looking back at the ring, looking for their version of the Spanish Fly! Misha shouts for Five to help him, but Fizz has a grip on Five’s leg and is not letting go, clearing MYOJIN for takeoff as the Shining Star flips through the air with Constantine, crashing down into a Flashing Lights Deluxe!
Wright: Flashing Lights Deluxe! The enemy of your enemy is indeed your friend, as Fizz keeps MYOJIN from getting jumped long enough to get the move off!
Park: Imagine if the Shining Star had had a partner like that months ago!
MYOJIN moves to make the cover, hooking the leg!
…ONE!
…TWO!
....Anthony Caffrey pulls MYOJIN off the pin by their leg!
Wright: Caffrey finally got back in, and now he’s got MYOJIN’s leg!
Park: Oh no! NO!
Caffrey doesn’t even have to turn MYOJIN over, immediately locking in his version of the ankle lock, the Process! The crowd boos loudly!
Wright: Many XHF legends have tapped to this move Myo, it wouldn’t be a shame if you were the next!
Park: Hang in there, Myo, hang in!
Anthony Caffrey is screaming obscenities at MYOJIN as he torques on the ankle, desperately trying to make his rival submit. The Shining Star screams out in pain and suffering, doing their best to hold their ground and look for the ropes or anything they can use to break out of the hold! They grab onto the ropes, but there is no safety there as Caffrey immediately rips them back away from the ropes!
Wright: MYOJIN may not trust the Process, but they’re quickly growing to hate it!
Park: This would be a hell of a time to bust out an Orion if you can, Myo! Come on! Fight back!
MYOJIN is unable to immediately fight back, but luckily doesn’t have to as Natalie Burrows uses their body as a platform to leap off of to strike the FIRESIDE owner with her version of a black magic shining wizard, the Epiphany!
Wright: The Southern Belle strikes back in a big way!
Park: That dropped him like a sack of potatoes! That’s gotta be it!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…TH-Vodka Fizz pulls Burrows off the boss!
Wright: Ohhhhhhhh! Not in Fizz’s house tonight!
Park: I can’t believe he just did that! Anything must be legal between these two!
As she gets back to her feet, an especially-angry Burrows looks at Fizz, the two eyeing one another before she gives in and straight up slaps him!
Wright: GET FU-
Park: Wrong person! Also, not here, not now!
Fizz checks his face with his hand and looks down at it before returning fire, knocking the champ reeling with a throat thrust of his own. She grabs at her throat, and the two begin to grapple, both looking for an advantage as a ton of cameras go off in the Hearth. Burrows transitions the grapple into a side headlock but is quickly forced into bouncing off the ropes, wherein she aims for an enziguri, only for Fizz to also attempt an enziguri at the same time, causing both wrestlers to go down!
Wright: Great minds think alike!
Park: Unison enziguris leave both the champ and challenger down with only so many minutes left in this contest!
Wright: No one has scored a fall yet! This match has been nuts!
Natalie Burrows and Vodka Fizz make it back up at almost the exact same time and almost get to go again, but they’re then taken out by stereo steel chair shots to the head by Misha Constantine and his bodyguard Johnny Five! The crowd boos as Constantine visibly complains that the match hasn’t been violent enough for his liking, barking orders to Five to absolutely batter Fizz with him for a series of chair shots before ejecting the former SPARK champion from the ring!
Wright: Constantine wanted violence, and now he’s certainly got it!
Park: Just a brutal set of shots from him and Five!
Constantine has different plans for the world champion though, turning his sights to her and directing traffic as he and Five again wail on an opponent with a series of chair shots. Once they’re satisfied, he directs Five to set her down in the corner so her head is leaning against the bottom turnbuckle. He slowly ascends the top rope closest to the entrance ramp.
Wright: Constantine is a Chase the Devil away from scoring the first point of this match!
Park: Everyone else is down, this is his cha--
Alright you motherfuckers...
LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!!
Wright: Oh my, I think I know whose music that is!
Park: Constantine immediately hopped off the top rope! If Bloodied Fox is gonna get involved with this, he’s ready for him!
Constantine is back on the mat, quickly arming himself with a steel chair in hand as Five grabs another chair all the same. The crowd all looks at the entrance curtain and waits for the Bloody Rainmaker to arrive, which gives the man the perfect opportunity to tackle Constantine from behind and begin absolutely wailing on him!
Wright: Fox jumped Misha from behind! Get him, Fox!
Park: This is for Brendan! Get ‘im, Fox, get ‘im!
Five throws Bloodied Fox off of Constantine and goes for the big ol’ clothesline, but Fox is not here to screw around, leaping up and striking down Five with the Bloody Rain superman punch!
Wright: Bloody Rain! Fox is going to town!
Park: Hell hath no fury like a pissed off Fox!
As Five goes down, Constantine comes at Fox with the chair, but Fox sidesteps the chair shot and strikes hard with the MDK, his black mass kick that knocks Constantine down in a hurry! He’s not content with just beating Misha to a pulp though, instead lifting him back up to the mat to drop the tired and beaten Constantine with his cutthroat exploder, the B4! The crowd cheers loudly!
Wright: B4 from Fox! I think he just took Misha out of this one!
Park: Constantine’s corpse is fair game for anyone who can take it now as the clock ticks down!
Bloodied Fox rolls back to his feet and stands over Constantine, banging his chest and screaming at him! The crowd rises to their feet though as standing behind Bloodied Fox is now one Anthony Caffrey.
Wright: Oh shit--
Park: Get your popcorn ready, ladies and gentlemen! I don’t think these two ever been in the same ring together at the same time!
Cameras begin to flash wildly as Bloodied Fox turns around to meet Caffrey eye-to-eye. Caffrey walks directly up to Fox and stands over him, a good seven inches taller than the former AWF Prestige champion. We can’t quite hear Caffrey as he points up the ramp and makes a shooing motion at Fox. Fox does not move.
Wright: Is this about to end in fisticuffs?
Park: You’re damned right it is, Oliver!
Bloodied Fox swings on Caffrey with the MDK, but Caffrey manages to avoid the black mass and kicks Fox squarely in the dick! Fox goes down hard as the crowd boos wildly!
Wright: NO! Damnit, no!
Park: This crowd hates this!
Caffrey grabs Fox by the hair and picks him back up. Caffrey is so loud that the cameras catch what he’s yelling at Fox.
Caffrey: Back to your trash show, you piece of shit!
He then uses Fox’s momentum to dump Fox over the top rope, where then both feet hit the floor!
Wright: Caffrey throws Fox over the top rope!
Park: If this were the Rumble, that’d be an elimination!
Wright: Look how smug that bastard looks!
Caffrey is all smiles as he waves Fox goodbye! The Strongest Mind in the Game takes an exaggerated bow…
…only to turn around and immediately come face to face with MYOJIN. MYOJIN has emerged from the waters and is ready for war, but Caffrey won’t let them have a moment of satisfaction, charging in to throw the Closing Remarks elbow, but MYOJIN ducks it and responds with a brutal jumping corkscrew roundhouse kick!
Wright: Love from Osaka!
Park: Yes, MYOJIN! Look at that smile! Get that three count, come on!
Caffrey goes down like a sack of bricks! MYOJIN covers!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THR-Caffrey kicks out!
Wright: Three--no! Damnit!
Park: Caffrey did not die on that---
--as MYOJIN is getting back up from the pin, he finds the back of Natalie Burrows’ heel being driven against his skull as she strikes with her scissors kick!
Wright: Closure from the world champ! Less than three minutes remain!
Park: And she’s about to get on the board! Here’s the cover!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THR-Fizz pulls Burrows off the cover!
Wright: Vodka stops Burrows from winning once again!
Park: He’s pushing his luck as they’re both pushing the timer!
An angry Burrows charges at Fizz, only for him to grab her one more time and lock in the crossface chickenwing one more time!
Wright: Hair of the Dog What Bit Ya!
Park: Fizz has less than a minute to make the world champ tap, but I can’t imagine she’s not already feeling the pain of the first time she was in this hold!
Burrows manages to quickly elbow her way out of the hold this time and sends Fizz bouncing off the ropes, catching him on the rebound with her version of the Rydeen Bomb, Hitting Bottom! She makes the pin!
Wright: Hitting Bottom! Twenty seconds left!
Park: This is it!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THR-Johnny Five pulls Burrows off of Fizz! He grabs her! The crowd boos fiercely!
Wright: No! She had this won!
Park: Bullshit!
The camera cuts over to a bloodied Misha Constantine standing on the top rope! He positions himself and then jumps onto MYOJIN, crashing down with the Irae Dei! He hooks both legs!
Wright: Irae Dei!
Park: Come on MYO, kick out!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THREE!
Stanford: Misha Constantine has scored a point! MYOJIN, to the box!
The time ticks down to zero! The crowd boos at the loudest it has all night!
Stanford: Ladies and gentlemen with a final score of one-nil, the winner of this match, and your 2021 FIRESIDE Wrestler of the Year, MISHAAAAAA CONSTANTINEEEEEEEEEEE!
Wright: What a match! Love him or hate him, Misha Constantine is the 2021 FIRESIDE Wrestler of the Year!
Park: Damnit, that was Burrows’ award right until the very end!
Wright: Every wrestler gave their all, with only one fall being scored the entire half hour, nobody can go home with anything less than their heads held high. That’s it for us here at FIRESIDE, we’ll see you in three weeks at Fuel for the Fire! I’m Oliver Wright!
Park: And I’m UnJoo Park!
Wright: Goodnight everyone!
The last thing we see is Johnny Five lifting Misha Constantine up onto his shoulders as confetti rains down and the show ends with Constantine holding a middle finger high above his head.