Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Mar 18, 2022 20:23:05 GMT -5
(OOC: I ran the segments by the guest who’s featured in this promo already, so they are approved)
*We open on darkness. Soon the black is disturbed as Nelly walks into the shot; presumably this is some sort of interview room. He sits down and sighs before looking into the camera.*
Nelly: Oh the way things go, haha. Just last month I was able to reclaim the Junior Heavyweight Championship after 15 years. Time flies, yeah? But I suppose you know all about that, Spike.
*He nods to himself.*
Nelly: You scaled the top of the mountain in the XHF, then left to climb other pinnacles, only to find yourself back home after one heck of a trip through life and once again thrust into a position to become the X*Crown Champion, back on top again. You are a force to be reckoned with.
Nelly: Look Spike, I’m not gonna lie about the situation. I beat a stuffed animal in what was sadly a somewhat close match to win the title. Meanwhile you clawed your way out of hell and have a reputation for taking things to an unbelievably violent degree. Being in the ring with you as a guy like me is…well, dangerous. I absolutely recognize that.
Nelly: And let’s not forget about your past history. You are currently associated with the Bang Bros, who are sort of a fun group. But you have a history of getting, um, serious, depending on the situation. When it’s served your purposes you’ve gone out of your way to hurt people both in and out of the ring. You’ve often done the things that’ll boost your name and your legend to higher heights, no matter who you damage or what bridges you burn on the way to get there. Understandably that gives me some trepidation going into our match on April 1st.
Nelly: So before you kick things into- heh- Overdrive- I’m reaching out to you. Spike, we’re both experienced guys. We’ve been doing this for decades and we’ve seen highs and lows- obviously your highs completely overshadow mine but I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished so far. I’m reaching out to make a gentleman’s agreement beforehand that we don’t go out of our way to murder each other or ruin each other over the Junior Heavyweight Championship.
Nelly: I get it, I get that you haven’t ever held the title, mostly due to being heavier than the requirements or maybe just because you were too busy in the World Heavyweight and X*Crown pictures. But is it worth another burnt bridge? Another lost friend? Spike I have no ill will against you, and I know you’ve had a rather frustrating last few months, but as a long-time colleague I’m asking that we just have a nice fair match for the fans and put on a good show for them.
Nelly: Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying “good show” to suggest anything pre-planned. I just mean that as two people who are quite experienced, why don’t we make it our plan to go out and wrestle a clean and fair match that shows some of these younger guys just how much we XHF-era guys actually know! Yeah? I know you can go in any number of match types and I’d hope I’ve earned your respect by now both from the XHF and NCW. So let’s go in, shake hands, do our best within the rules, and finish with the winner of the day having his hand held high- and the title of course.
Nelly: So what do you say Spike, let’s go out there and have some fun and try our best…but y’know, without killing one another.
*There’s a slight pause as he smiles nervously.*
Nelly: Well, obviously I can’t wait for your answer. But Spike, I’ll be there at the show ready to go with whatever you bring. You come for a fair fight? Excellent? You wanna bring your pent up anger and aggression to beat me within an inch of my life? Fine, you’ll be reminded of my tenacity against overcoming odds. Regardless, I’ll be there Spike. I just hope we can come in and go out as friends.
*He nods at the camera again before getting up and leaving. The camera is once again looking at nothing.*
*We open on darkness. Soon the black is disturbed as Nelly walks into the shot; presumably this is some sort of interview room. He sits down and sighs before looking into the camera.*
Nelly: Oh the way things go, haha. Just last month I was able to reclaim the Junior Heavyweight Championship after 15 years. Time flies, yeah? But I suppose you know all about that, Spike.
*He nods to himself.*
Nelly: You scaled the top of the mountain in the XHF, then left to climb other pinnacles, only to find yourself back home after one heck of a trip through life and once again thrust into a position to become the X*Crown Champion, back on top again. You are a force to be reckoned with.
*JUMP CUT to inside of Nelly’s apartment. Randy Angel is in the kitchen, which is an absolute mess, there’s flour and what we can only hope is chocolate spread about the walls and Mr. Angel’s person. Nelly walks in and is instantly horrified.*
Nelly: WHAT ARE YOU-
Randy: Ok, ok, calm down Nell, I can explain.
*Randy’s hands are in a defensive position. Nelly puts his own hands on his hips.*
Nelly: Alright, let’s hear it.
Randy: Ok. So you wanna have a nice clean fight with Spike, yes?
Nelly: Of course.
Randy: But you also know how dangerous Spike is, right?
Nelly: Sure.
Randy: Ok, well then we’re in agreement on this. I’m baking Spike a cake.
*Nelly’s older brother has made a logical leap that he is unable to follow, and his face shows the visible confusion. Randy, a former businessman, is able to catch that and continues.*
Randy: …To mollify Spike. Everyone loves cake. So before he ends up in all bloody murder mode, I figure we can win him over with a nice cake that says “Let’s have a friendly bout.”
Nelly: Ahh…that actually makes sense.
Randy: Excellent, now hand me the lard.
*The confusion returns.*
Randy: It’s uh…grandma’s recipe. Old people, haha.
Nelly: WHAT ARE YOU-
Randy: Ok, ok, calm down Nell, I can explain.
*Randy’s hands are in a defensive position. Nelly puts his own hands on his hips.*
Nelly: Alright, let’s hear it.
Randy: Ok. So you wanna have a nice clean fight with Spike, yes?
Nelly: Of course.
Randy: But you also know how dangerous Spike is, right?
Nelly: Sure.
Randy: Ok, well then we’re in agreement on this. I’m baking Spike a cake.
*Nelly’s older brother has made a logical leap that he is unable to follow, and his face shows the visible confusion. Randy, a former businessman, is able to catch that and continues.*
Randy: …To mollify Spike. Everyone loves cake. So before he ends up in all bloody murder mode, I figure we can win him over with a nice cake that says “Let’s have a friendly bout.”
Nelly: Ahh…that actually makes sense.
Randy: Excellent, now hand me the lard.
*The confusion returns.*
Randy: It’s uh…grandma’s recipe. Old people, haha.
Nelly: Look Spike, I’m not gonna lie about the situation. I beat a stuffed animal in what was sadly a somewhat close match to win the title. Meanwhile you clawed your way out of hell and have a reputation for taking things to an unbelievably violent degree. Being in the ring with you as a guy like me is…well, dangerous. I absolutely recognize that.
*SMASH CUT to a shopping mall. Where? Hard to say. But what we do see is Randy Angel, he is holding two giant cones of ice cream- one in each hand. Suddenly he goes from still to a running pace.*
Randy: SPIKE! SPIKE!
*Indeed, the ever-intoxicated commentator has found his brother’s upcoming opponent, Spike Kane, and approaches him.*
Randy: Oh wow Spike! I didn't expect to bump into you here! Look, it's a good thing I did run into you though, I- y'know, stupid drunk that I am- I bought TWO ice cream cones, but I'm only one man. How can I eat this other one before it melts!? Would you like the second? It is quite delicious
*Spike seems confused*
Randy: Of course you would, how stupid of me to ask. Who doesn’t like ice cream right?
*He hands off one of the cones to Spike.*
Randy: I’d love to chat more but I’ve got to go, I’m preparing for a bar- actually I’ll send you an invitation since you bailed me out! Thanks again man!
*And with that, Randy Angel is back in the wind.*
Randy: SPIKE! SPIKE!
*Indeed, the ever-intoxicated commentator has found his brother’s upcoming opponent, Spike Kane, and approaches him.*
Randy: Oh wow Spike! I didn't expect to bump into you here! Look, it's a good thing I did run into you though, I- y'know, stupid drunk that I am- I bought TWO ice cream cones, but I'm only one man. How can I eat this other one before it melts!? Would you like the second? It is quite delicious
*Spike seems confused*
Randy: Of course you would, how stupid of me to ask. Who doesn’t like ice cream right?
*He hands off one of the cones to Spike.*
Randy: I’d love to chat more but I’ve got to go, I’m preparing for a bar- actually I’ll send you an invitation since you bailed me out! Thanks again man!
*And with that, Randy Angel is back in the wind.*
Nelly: And let’s not forget about your past history. You are currently associated with the Bang Bros, who are sort of a fun group. But you have a history of getting, um, serious, depending on the situation. When it’s served your purposes you’ve gone out of your way to hurt people both in and out of the ring. You’ve often done the things that’ll boost your name and your legend to higher heights, no matter who you damage or what bridges you burn on the way to get there. Understandably that gives me some trepidation going into our match on April 1st.
*STAR WIPE to Randy Angel leaning back on a chair with his feet up on a desk. He’s currently in the middle of a phone call.*
Randy: Yes, I want ten pizzas……No I’m not high, I’m a wrestler. I mean I might be high? Would I b- it’s none of your business anyway.
*He shakes off the self-doubt.*
Randy: Now before you deliver them I need to tell you, I might pretend I didn’t order the pizzas. It’s a little roleplay thing I like to do. I’m sure you’ve delivered to people who like roleplaying before……Well no, I won’t be naked, not that kind of roleplay. Well…
*There’s a pause while he thinks.*
Randy: I might be naked? I’m not sure how I live- er, I uh, um. Should I pay extra in advance just in case? ...How big? Probably massive. ...Ah, well thank you. Anyway yeah, so I’m paying you now so I don’t have to later, and I might pretend I didn’t order the pizzas, but I’ll take them anyway. Yes, the name is Spike Kane. AND IT BETTER BE ON TIME- haha, I’m sure it will be.
*He smiles.*
Randy: Yes, I want ten pizzas……No I’m not high, I’m a wrestler. I mean I might be high? Would I b- it’s none of your business anyway.
*He shakes off the self-doubt.*
Randy: Now before you deliver them I need to tell you, I might pretend I didn’t order the pizzas. It’s a little roleplay thing I like to do. I’m sure you’ve delivered to people who like roleplaying before……Well no, I won’t be naked, not that kind of roleplay. Well…
*There’s a pause while he thinks.*
Randy: I might be naked? I’m not sure how I live- er, I uh, um. Should I pay extra in advance just in case? ...How big? Probably massive. ...Ah, well thank you. Anyway yeah, so I’m paying you now so I don’t have to later, and I might pretend I didn’t order the pizzas, but I’ll take them anyway. Yes, the name is Spike Kane. AND IT BETTER BE ON TIME- haha, I’m sure it will be.
*He smiles.*
Nelly: So before you kick things into- heh- Overdrive- I’m reaching out to you. Spike, we’re both experienced guys. We’ve been doing this for decades and we’ve seen highs and lows- obviously your highs completely overshadow mine but I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished so far. I’m reaching out to make a gentleman’s agreement beforehand that we don’t go out of our way to murder each other or ruin each other over the Junior Heavyweight Championship.
*SUDDEN SLASH CUT to Randy Angel on the phone again.*
Randy: Why yes, Mr. Kane would love to participate in your pie eating contest. …Does he have experience? Uh…probably!
*He weighs the veracity of that statement in his head momentarily.*
Randy: But look, my client has taken more than his fair share of shots to the head, if you know what I mean. So he might have forgotten something like this. Now no need to worry, he’ll almost certainly just go along with it once you tell him it was already set up.
*The elder Angel debates saying a small prayer to ensure it.*
Randy: We’re delighted for this opportunity to cross-promote! Spike loves competition and what a greater non-wrestling competition than shoving pies in your face!
Randy: Why yes, Mr. Kane would love to participate in your pie eating contest. …Does he have experience? Uh…probably!
*He weighs the veracity of that statement in his head momentarily.*
Randy: But look, my client has taken more than his fair share of shots to the head, if you know what I mean. So he might have forgotten something like this. Now no need to worry, he’ll almost certainly just go along with it once you tell him it was already set up.
*The elder Angel debates saying a small prayer to ensure it.*
Randy: We’re delighted for this opportunity to cross-promote! Spike loves competition and what a greater non-wrestling competition than shoving pies in your face!
Nelly: I get it, I get that you haven’t ever held the title, mostly due to being heavier than the requirements or maybe just because you were too busy in the World Heavyweight and X*Crown pictures. But is it worth another burnt bridge? Another lost friend? Spike I have no ill will against you, and I know you’ve had a rather frustrating last few months, but as a long-time colleague I’m asking that we just have a nice fair match for the fans and put on a good show for them.
*INK DROP TRANSITION to Randy Angel outside at a grill as he flips burgers and rotates hot dogs. Spike Kane walks into the frame. Randy turns around to greet him.*
Randy: SPIKE! I'm glad you could make it to my cook-out!
*The god of Xtreme looks around*
Spike: Yeah, where's everyone else?
Randy: ....
*Oh no. Think Randy, think!*
Randy: Well you know, with covid and all we're being careful. Everyone is coming one-by-one. We've still got plenty of food for you though! All you can eat!
Spike: What about everyone else?
Randy: Who?
*No no, concentrate!*
Randy: OOOOOH, everyone else? There’ll be more food for them, no need to worry!
*He laughs nervously while holding up some grilled food*
Randy: SPIKE! I'm glad you could make it to my cook-out!
*The god of Xtreme looks around*
Spike: Yeah, where's everyone else?
Randy: ....
*Oh no. Think Randy, think!*
Randy: Well you know, with covid and all we're being careful. Everyone is coming one-by-one. We've still got plenty of food for you though! All you can eat!
Spike: What about everyone else?
Randy: Who?
*No no, concentrate!*
Randy: OOOOOH, everyone else? There’ll be more food for them, no need to worry!
*He laughs nervously while holding up some grilled food*
Nelly: Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying “good show” to suggest anything pre-planned. I just mean that as two people who are quite experienced, why don’t we make it our plan to go out and wrestle a clean and fair match that shows some of these younger guys just how much we XHF-era guys actually know! Yeah? I know you can go in any number of match types and I’d hope I’ve earned your respect by now both from the XHF and NCW. So let’s go in, shake hands, do our best within the rules, and finish with the winner of the day having his hand held high- and the title of course.
*UNDER THE SEA CUT to a man in a shark costume standing outside of a door. He knocks.*
Shark: Candygram.
Shark: Candygram.
Nelly: So what do you say Spike, let’s go out there and have some fun and try our best…but y’know, without killing one another.
*There’s a slight pause as he smiles nervously.*
Nelly: Well, obviously I can’t wait for your answer. But Spike, I’ll be there at the show ready to go with whatever you bring. You come for a fair fight? Excellent? You wanna bring your pent up anger and aggression to beat me within an inch of my life? Fine, you’ll be reminded of my tenacity against overcoming odds. Regardless, I’ll be there Spike. I just hope we can come in and go out as friends.
*He nods at the camera again before getting up and leaving. The camera is once again looking at nothing.*