Post by Dave D-Flipz on Mar 27, 2022 15:01:33 GMT -5
"(What can I get for you, esteemed guests?)"
*Two men sidle up to the bar. One wearing a hunter hat and the other sporting a huge head of hair and beard to his stomach.*
"I’m driving, just a tea for me."
"(…Can you translate for me, friend?)"
"(Weak shit. The brew. As for me give me the local specialty.)"
*The bartender nods and drifts away to prepare the drinks, we are in the sushi ya and liquor bar that will be home to the Gonpachi Gauntlet. And Aiden Merric seems to be scouting the local atmosphere.*
"Merric ya know I don’t speak Japanese. Why are you putting me through this?"
"A good hunter never goes in without a plan. If some sympathizers for the other wrestlers, or some criminal element shows up … I need someone here that looks weak to take the first hit so I can survey the situation and come out on top."
*Tucker gulps.*
"But I’m sure it’s fine, this place is famous. I had to come here to avoid another hotel charge. Do ya know how much extra it costs to order a gift from Japan and send it to America? Thankfully they have access to the Hickory Farms website here. Dunno how I’d have looked if Erin’s gift basket was ONLY the handmade jerky I shipped her, and the cheese I had put in the basket. But sausage is universal. Everyone loves tasty smoky sausage."
*The bartender drops a shot in front of Aiden and a very ornate teapot and small cup in front of Tucker Bernard. As Tucker pours it, his face wrinkles.*
"Tea look weak to you?"
"It’s a sakura green tea. Cherry blossom season, green tea is the specialty. You like earl grey, you’ll be fine with this. Not as much caffeine kick though if’n yer looking for that. Arigato!"
*The bartender nods and begins cleaning the glassware … probably to listen in on the conversation … which he can’t understand.*
"Huh, my beer is clear."
"You asked for the local specialty, but it looks like this place has a brand deal."
*Tucker points to a sign advertising a bunch of specials for the day, all made with sake. And the bulletin board shows two men in mascot costumes dancing around shouting, “Drink a lot … responsibly” in Japanese.*
"WHAT! I only shill publicly for ONE other XHF talent. Ratty understands the needs of the working class hunter. And he fights good."
*Aiden sucks it up and shoots the sake shot. Somewhere in the back a patron shouts, “SUPER SAKE!” Aiden puts his fist up to his mouth and winces.*
"Bloody hell that is a smooth drink. And … uh … I think I’ve been drugged."
*The bartender runs up to him*
"(SIR WAIT! I gave you the wrong drink, that was meant for one of the local storytellers. He enhances his drink so he can see things and tell better stories. Oh … well … enjoy your trip.)"
*Aiden hiccups and leans on Tucker.*
"DO you see it, Bernard? The spirit world. They are all begging for a good fight from Aiden. (COME ON YA PASTY BITCHES! Aiden ain’t afraid of no yokai!). Oh that one is a beast. You can feel the heat coming off it. Bringing misery and drought wherever it goes. Hiderigami … von Krauss … as barren as the desert, and twice as inhospitable. Leaching off the life blood of others to survive beyond natural limits. Look at the hideous stomach, and the unnatural scars and hair. I gotta kill it so we can have water, Tuck! GONPACHI NEEDS WATER"
*Tucker looks over in the direction Aiden is pointing, there’s nothing there. There’s a hibachi grill.*
"Uh Merric? You uh … you feeling ok?"
"It’s all going to tittysprinkles Tuck. The monsters are here and I’m the only one man enough to stop them. It ain’t natural to avoid death for so long. Surely it leaves a person jaded and malicious. A demon at heart, even if human in appearance."
"Yes, that does sound lonely. A person driven by hate and spite could never function properly. Imagine trying to run a company or have a family when you run on only spite and hate…"
"But I have the ability to defeat the demon. With these hands. These massive hands made of iron and stone."
*Tucker looks at Aiden … his hands are covered in miso paste and edamame. How did he get behind the bar?*
"(I’ve prepared my entire life to fight the demons. The hunting is a great profession, but it has benefits. Let the angel of death fight me for my soul. I’ll punch his lights out! And hang his decayed wings on my mantle. This hiderigami is nothing but a vast desert of personality. A worthless mongrel playing at human. Not worthy of the skin it’s wearing.) And THAT ONE! …"
*He points at the doorway as a stiff breeze blows in.*
"I see you kotengu! I know your tricks. Hiding behind that mask. Oh you like to think you look fearful. Wearing the robes of the holy. Acting like some kind of emissary for a higher power. A scourge on the land. All you want is to accumulate power and trinkets. Collecting a gang of lesser demons to do your bidding, stealing the items the better humans desire. YOU STOLE MY PLATE FROM ME AND NOW I WILL HAVE THE PURORESO PLATE JUST TO SPOIL YOUR DESIRES!"
"I mean that sounds like Donzig but I think the drugs are messing with your perception, Merric. You were just speaking to me in Japanese. And then you shouted at the top of your lungs. Everyone’s staring at you."
"Good! All eyes on me. It would be the single most offensive slight to this crow demon. He wants the attention. He wants to get us to pay him our minds so he can steal our gold. And his minions will be behind us waiting to do his dirty work for him. But I know how to make him get his hands dirty. And this time my fists will find the crown of his beak before he can get the better of me! (That’s right you savage beast. I know your kind and I do not fear you. I will tear you apart and feed the carrion to the dingos!)"
"(Sir there are no dingos in Gonpachi.)"
*Aiden is frothing at the mouth as he punches a demon (it’s the cardboard Super Sake ad) and tears it apart in seconds. He laughs and points to the bench he was sitting on.*
"And a shojo! Oh you think you can trick us with your harmless, drunken, stupid act. But I will not be fooled. You are dangerous! I KNOW IT! I don’t need to prove it. NO I WON’T TAKE YOUR WINE! Your taste in everything is horrible. Hollywood American assholes. Listen here you bawdy drunk monkey demon. I know you have a plan. But I am not something to be planned for. And I see the fear in you. I know you fear the hunter. If that old man makes you worried, I should make you shit yourself in fear! And you’ll probably just throw it at Tucker!"
*He leaps onto the hibachi, probably ruining his best hunting boots*
"(GONPACHI! I invite you all to see the best hunter in the world. Sender of Sausages, tamer of beasts, beater of demons. Come to REIGN and see Aiden Merric play spoiler for the Tengu. These muscles ain’t just for show. They don’t know it but puroresu is made for Aiden Merric and his fists of fury!)"
*He looks down at Tucker Bernard and his brow furrows. He lets out a guttural roar. How has this drug not taken him down yet? Stamina is clearly his friend. That or he spent years developing an immunity to iocaine powd-oh shit contact high …*
"And … a goat demon!"
"Haha, very funny Merric, it’s me. OH BLOODY HELL!"
*Aiden tackles Tucker and begins tearing at his hair like hes ripping horns off. He then stomps him to the floor and pins him*
"HA! Mongo made it look hard, but I beat you easy! BAHAHA! All will fall to the yokai king in the Gonpachi Gauntlet! HAHA-"
*He passes out snoring in blissful stupor, a passerby rolls him to his stomach so he doesn't die.*
*Two men sidle up to the bar. One wearing a hunter hat and the other sporting a huge head of hair and beard to his stomach.*
"I’m driving, just a tea for me."
"(…Can you translate for me, friend?)"
"(Weak shit. The brew. As for me give me the local specialty.)"
*The bartender nods and drifts away to prepare the drinks, we are in the sushi ya and liquor bar that will be home to the Gonpachi Gauntlet. And Aiden Merric seems to be scouting the local atmosphere.*
"Merric ya know I don’t speak Japanese. Why are you putting me through this?"
"A good hunter never goes in without a plan. If some sympathizers for the other wrestlers, or some criminal element shows up … I need someone here that looks weak to take the first hit so I can survey the situation and come out on top."
*Tucker gulps.*
"But I’m sure it’s fine, this place is famous. I had to come here to avoid another hotel charge. Do ya know how much extra it costs to order a gift from Japan and send it to America? Thankfully they have access to the Hickory Farms website here. Dunno how I’d have looked if Erin’s gift basket was ONLY the handmade jerky I shipped her, and the cheese I had put in the basket. But sausage is universal. Everyone loves tasty smoky sausage."
*The bartender drops a shot in front of Aiden and a very ornate teapot and small cup in front of Tucker Bernard. As Tucker pours it, his face wrinkles.*
"Tea look weak to you?"
"It’s a sakura green tea. Cherry blossom season, green tea is the specialty. You like earl grey, you’ll be fine with this. Not as much caffeine kick though if’n yer looking for that. Arigato!"
*The bartender nods and begins cleaning the glassware … probably to listen in on the conversation … which he can’t understand.*
"Huh, my beer is clear."
"You asked for the local specialty, but it looks like this place has a brand deal."
*Tucker points to a sign advertising a bunch of specials for the day, all made with sake. And the bulletin board shows two men in mascot costumes dancing around shouting, “Drink a lot … responsibly” in Japanese.*
"WHAT! I only shill publicly for ONE other XHF talent. Ratty understands the needs of the working class hunter. And he fights good."
*Aiden sucks it up and shoots the sake shot. Somewhere in the back a patron shouts, “SUPER SAKE!” Aiden puts his fist up to his mouth and winces.*
"Bloody hell that is a smooth drink. And … uh … I think I’ve been drugged."
*The bartender runs up to him*
"(SIR WAIT! I gave you the wrong drink, that was meant for one of the local storytellers. He enhances his drink so he can see things and tell better stories. Oh … well … enjoy your trip.)"
*Aiden hiccups and leans on Tucker.*
"DO you see it, Bernard? The spirit world. They are all begging for a good fight from Aiden. (COME ON YA PASTY BITCHES! Aiden ain’t afraid of no yokai!). Oh that one is a beast. You can feel the heat coming off it. Bringing misery and drought wherever it goes. Hiderigami … von Krauss … as barren as the desert, and twice as inhospitable. Leaching off the life blood of others to survive beyond natural limits. Look at the hideous stomach, and the unnatural scars and hair. I gotta kill it so we can have water, Tuck! GONPACHI NEEDS WATER"
*Tucker looks over in the direction Aiden is pointing, there’s nothing there. There’s a hibachi grill.*
"Uh Merric? You uh … you feeling ok?"
"It’s all going to tittysprinkles Tuck. The monsters are here and I’m the only one man enough to stop them. It ain’t natural to avoid death for so long. Surely it leaves a person jaded and malicious. A demon at heart, even if human in appearance."
"Yes, that does sound lonely. A person driven by hate and spite could never function properly. Imagine trying to run a company or have a family when you run on only spite and hate…"
"But I have the ability to defeat the demon. With these hands. These massive hands made of iron and stone."
*Tucker looks at Aiden … his hands are covered in miso paste and edamame. How did he get behind the bar?*
"(I’ve prepared my entire life to fight the demons. The hunting is a great profession, but it has benefits. Let the angel of death fight me for my soul. I’ll punch his lights out! And hang his decayed wings on my mantle. This hiderigami is nothing but a vast desert of personality. A worthless mongrel playing at human. Not worthy of the skin it’s wearing.) And THAT ONE! …"
*He points at the doorway as a stiff breeze blows in.*
"I see you kotengu! I know your tricks. Hiding behind that mask. Oh you like to think you look fearful. Wearing the robes of the holy. Acting like some kind of emissary for a higher power. A scourge on the land. All you want is to accumulate power and trinkets. Collecting a gang of lesser demons to do your bidding, stealing the items the better humans desire. YOU STOLE MY PLATE FROM ME AND NOW I WILL HAVE THE PURORESO PLATE JUST TO SPOIL YOUR DESIRES!"
"I mean that sounds like Donzig but I think the drugs are messing with your perception, Merric. You were just speaking to me in Japanese. And then you shouted at the top of your lungs. Everyone’s staring at you."
"Good! All eyes on me. It would be the single most offensive slight to this crow demon. He wants the attention. He wants to get us to pay him our minds so he can steal our gold. And his minions will be behind us waiting to do his dirty work for him. But I know how to make him get his hands dirty. And this time my fists will find the crown of his beak before he can get the better of me! (That’s right you savage beast. I know your kind and I do not fear you. I will tear you apart and feed the carrion to the dingos!)"
"(Sir there are no dingos in Gonpachi.)"
*Aiden is frothing at the mouth as he punches a demon (it’s the cardboard Super Sake ad) and tears it apart in seconds. He laughs and points to the bench he was sitting on.*
"And a shojo! Oh you think you can trick us with your harmless, drunken, stupid act. But I will not be fooled. You are dangerous! I KNOW IT! I don’t need to prove it. NO I WON’T TAKE YOUR WINE! Your taste in everything is horrible. Hollywood American assholes. Listen here you bawdy drunk monkey demon. I know you have a plan. But I am not something to be planned for. And I see the fear in you. I know you fear the hunter. If that old man makes you worried, I should make you shit yourself in fear! And you’ll probably just throw it at Tucker!"
*He leaps onto the hibachi, probably ruining his best hunting boots*
"(GONPACHI! I invite you all to see the best hunter in the world. Sender of Sausages, tamer of beasts, beater of demons. Come to REIGN and see Aiden Merric play spoiler for the Tengu. These muscles ain’t just for show. They don’t know it but puroresu is made for Aiden Merric and his fists of fury!)"
*He looks down at Tucker Bernard and his brow furrows. He lets out a guttural roar. How has this drug not taken him down yet? Stamina is clearly his friend. That or he spent years developing an immunity to iocaine powd-oh shit contact high …*
"And … a goat demon!"
"Haha, very funny Merric, it’s me. OH BLOODY HELL!"
*Aiden tackles Tucker and begins tearing at his hair like hes ripping horns off. He then stomps him to the floor and pins him*
"HA! Mongo made it look hard, but I beat you easy! BAHAHA! All will fall to the yokai king in the Gonpachi Gauntlet! HAHA-"
*He passes out snoring in blissful stupor, a passerby rolls him to his stomach so he doesn't die.*