BOX revisited [Unboxed Ken promo]
Mar 28, 2022 16:11:42 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Dave D-Flipz, and 2 more like this
Post by mosler on Mar 28, 2022 16:11:42 GMT -5
The warmth of the sunshine on his skin is making Ken uncomfortable. The future XHF hall of famer, and noted agoraphobe, has spent much of his career inside a box. Recently the hermit found himself displaced from the claustrophobic lodgings of UrsusLa the bear. Adding insult to injury is that Ken lost his fabled box in the process. Now with a paper bag over his head to cut down on the hyperventilating, Ken searches for his home in this brave new world.
...but the space is too big, and he has trouble breathing.
Ducking down an alleyway, Ken hugs an inlet hoping for the panic attack to pass. That's when he sees it...
A golden light shining down from the heavens on the worn looking television box that Ken had spent the last nine years calling home!
A heavenly chorus further accentuates this moment of euphoria for Ken, like your humble writer had caved into the demands of a certain administrator. Ken's journey of self-discovery derailed before it even began!
The Unboxed One charges over to his second skin-
A furry white creature emerges, having claimed this base for itself.
A Basic Goat: Baaaaaaaah!
The goat starts chewing the side of box, the one that Ken always took to be a vestibule.
Unboxed Ken: Excuse me, Goat - but this happens to be my hom-
A Basic Goat: Baaaaaaaaaaaah!
Unboxed Ken: Please be reasonable-
A Basic Goat: Baaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Unboxed Ken: There is enough space for both of us!
A Basic Goat: BaaaaaaaaaaAah!
Unboxed Ken: If it's a fight you want-
The desperate XHF legend picks up a stick to try to prod the Goat away, only for the insatiable beast to eat it too. Without a stick to call his own, Unboxed Ken is now defenseless.
Unboxed Ken: There is no taming this monster without assistance. But who do I know that is a skilled enough orator to argue my case? And baring a linguistic knockout, physically take this furry devil to task for this home invasion? Yes! Only one man can handle such an injustice...
The desperate protagonist staggers away from his castle, out of the alley, into the entirely too spacious world.
Unboxed Ken: If anyone can handle a Basic Goat, it's Mongo!
...........................
...but the space is too big, and he has trouble breathing.
Ducking down an alleyway, Ken hugs an inlet hoping for the panic attack to pass. That's when he sees it...
A golden light shining down from the heavens on the worn looking television box that Ken had spent the last nine years calling home!
A heavenly chorus further accentuates this moment of euphoria for Ken, like your humble writer had caved into the demands of a certain administrator. Ken's journey of self-discovery derailed before it even began!
The Unboxed One charges over to his second skin-
A furry white creature emerges, having claimed this base for itself.
A Basic Goat: Baaaaaaaah!
The goat starts chewing the side of box, the one that Ken always took to be a vestibule.
Unboxed Ken: Excuse me, Goat - but this happens to be my hom-
A Basic Goat: Baaaaaaaaaaaah!
Unboxed Ken: Please be reasonable-
A Basic Goat: Baaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Unboxed Ken: There is enough space for both of us!
A Basic Goat: BaaaaaaaaaaAah!
Unboxed Ken: If it's a fight you want-
The desperate XHF legend picks up a stick to try to prod the Goat away, only for the insatiable beast to eat it too. Without a stick to call his own, Unboxed Ken is now defenseless.
Unboxed Ken: There is no taming this monster without assistance. But who do I know that is a skilled enough orator to argue my case? And baring a linguistic knockout, physically take this furry devil to task for this home invasion? Yes! Only one man can handle such an injustice...
The desperate protagonist staggers away from his castle, out of the alley, into the entirely too spacious world.
Unboxed Ken: If anyone can handle a Basic Goat, it's Mongo!
...........................