Just to Spite my Brother
Mar 31, 2022 11:31:45 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Venom š·, and 4 more like this
Post by Spike Kane on Mar 31, 2022 11:31:45 GMT -5
I never asked for this, I never asked for any of it really. I was given a chance to earn another X*Crown championship, and I came within a whisper of taking it and leaving Venomās kid in a puddle of his own piss, alas, it was not meant to be. If I hadnāt have punched that chair right into his stupid little face, then he would have just cocked me with it, and would still be walking about with the X*Crownā¦
Well played kid.
Well played.
It pisses me off that such an opportunity is just snatched away like that, but I canāt be salty about the brains that went into it. Something a lot of people in this business lack, so Iāll tip my hat to the son-of-a-GUN, I just hope heās still holding it when I get my next chanceā¦
But for now? Well, for the first time in my entire career.
Iām a fucking Junior Heavyweight.
I guess being dead does wonders for your waistline.
Being dead also means you miss a lot of things, like how the worlds nerdiest interviewer somehow went on to become an actually successful professional wrestler. Who in their right minds would ever have predicted this, Nelly Angel the XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion against Spike Kane, on the GUN Showā¦.
Do you have any idea how much joy it brings me that Brad is so pissed off that I got this match?
~~~
We open on a busy mall, location unknown, but itās full of people. Near a set of stairs we can see in their incredibly terrible disguises Dax, and Tomo. They seem to be waiting, and the reason becomes clear when Spike Kane walks around the corner holding a large ice cream cone. Daxās eyes light up immediately.
Tomo: You seriously went to get ice cream?
Dax: Ohmygod is it as good as Frog Fartās flavour?
Spike: No I didnāt go buy-frog farts? What?
Dax: Oh yeah we ugh, we knew ādis lady yeah, and she could like make ice cream appear, almost out of nothinā and frog farts was da best flavour.
Spike: Iā¦ermā¦.
Clearly confused by the fact Dax even knew what Ice cream was, the idea of manifesting frog farts ice cream baffles the God of Xtreme.
Spike: Yeah no, look, I tried to find some sneakers for you Tomo but the only ones thatāll fit are toddlers ones.
Tomo: Iām not a toddler.
Spike: I mean technically you kinda are.
Tomo: No Iām not!
Spike: Dude youāre three years old!
During their exchange Dax has been slowly creeping forward inch by inch, his eyes growing wider, and his tongue creeping out, before in one giant gulp he eats the ice cream right out of Spikeās hand.
Spike: You know you could have just asked?
Dax suddenly rears back and groans, clutching his head.
Dax: Uggghhh brain hurts, cold!
Tomo: He never learnsā¦.so whereād the ice cream come from?
Spike: Youāll never believe this but Randy Angel. He didnāt seem as drunk as he normally isā¦
Tomo rubs his chin when Spike mentions Randy, as if heās figuring something out, and we cut.
~~~
Listen Nelly, I know I always used to give you shit, and you probably hated it every single time you were sent to interview me, but what can I say? You have a habit of asking the most annoying questions possible, and you always seemed so smug. Like you thought you were better than us, perhaps you thought you werenāt as much of a neanderthal as the rest of us? Youāve always had that aura about you that just reeks of arrogance, like you think youāre smarter than everyone, like youāre a better personā¦
Looking down your nose at us.
I think a lot of the time you donāt realise youāre doing it, and you see thatās the biggest difference between us, because when I do look down my nose, you know itās intentional, you know itās because I do think Iām better than you, and you know that almost all the time, I prove it too. Like last time out in a GUNS ring, the lauded and ever-so-smug X*Crown Champion knew he couldnāt beat me, he knew he wasnāt going to walk away with a win and keep that title, so he did what any smart man would do, and he found an alternative, an alternative to being the best. Canāt blame him, Iād do the same if I thought I was going to lose the belt because once you stop believing in yourself, and your ability? Well then youāve already lost.
So begging for a āmatchā instead of a āfightā might have already shown your hand there Nelly.
~~~
We smash cut to the shared home of Dax, Tomo, Hope, and Spike. The four of them are gathered around the TV, Dax and Hope are playing a video game, while Tomo is reading a book, with a pile of books to his right. Spike is busy making a drink.
Hope: Just jump-over there-no! That way!
Dax: Dat way is not a descriptive phrase, it could mean anyway!
Hope: Just put the frigginā portal there!
As she points the doorbell rings and Spike, looking a little confused goes to answer it.
Dax: I wonder who it is?
Hope: Maybe itās Eli, finally come to make Dad nut up or shut up.
Spike: Yeah, donāt know how I feel about you talking like that, itās going to take some getting used to.
As Spike opens the door, thereās a spotty awkward teenage dude stood there holding a stack of ten pizza boxes.
Delivery Guy: Ugh, pizzaās for Spike Kane?
Spike: Thatās me, but I didnāt order any pizza dude.
Delivery Guy: Ha ha good one.
Spike: No Iām being serious, I didnāt even know there was a pizza place near here. I think you have the wrong house dude. Iām not paying for someone elseās pizzas.
Delivery Guy: hah..ughā¦theyāre already paid for sir.
Hope: Did you guys order pizza while high again?
Spike: Iām notā¦.I wasnātā¦
Spike looks around the room, Tomo is looking at the exchange between Spike and the Delivery Guy, but he isnāt saying anything. Spike then looks to Dax who can clearly smell the pizza and is licking his lips, he then notices the pipe Dax hand crafted on the table in front of him.
Spike: Ohā¦we must have been. Iām sorry man, didnāt mean to break your balls! Thanks for the pizzas!
Spike reaches and takes the stack, turning around and closing the door as both Dax and Hope jump to their feet to rush over and grab some pizza, Tomo rubs his chin as he focuses on the pizzas and once more we cut.
~~~
You might not believe it though, especially given my track record and championships - especially XHF branded championships, but I do hold that Junior Heavyweight championship in high regard, with the respect I feel it is due - most of the time.
Some of the best to enter the squared circle have held that championship.
ā¦.and then thereās, wellā¦.the other lot.
The aura around that title, Nelly, has always been one of the āpure wrestlerā the technicians, the high flyers, the luchadores. It, historically, at least, was a mark - a brand - it let everyone know that when it came to the squared circle? You were elite, you could outwrestle the best of the them, and you could do it with flair and style.
Itās a championship my brother is obsessed with.
So can you believe my luck, when a title shot - er - I mean opportunity just happens to drop into my lap, or forehead I guess is the real truth. A chance not only to light up the GUN Show once more, but to steal the show with a Junior Heavyweight title match against one of my oldest known associates still active? Hell yeahā¦.
Can you imagine the look on Jackās face when I capture the only gold heās been able to hold over my head in his entire career?
~~~
āAre you really going to go to this BBQ?ā
We open up on Spike getting ready to leave his home, Dax and Hope are not around but Tomo is looking angry.
Spike: Yeah why not?
Tomo: Look you sent Dax to the pie eating contest, how much more evidence do I need to provide you with? Heās messing with you!
Spike: Look, Randyās harmless, yeah heās a devious little shit but heās not going to hurt anyone, just give me your bag.
Tomo instinctively clutches at the bag ties around his waist.
Tomo: Why would I ever do that?
Spike: Look, I can stash the food in it, and then youāve got a bunch of food for Dax when he gets high and gets the munchies next, itās a foolproof plan, right?
Tomo looks at his bag, then at Spike, then back to his bag.
Tomo: Will there be cheese?
Spike: For crying out loud Tomo, yes, if there isnāt then Iāll get some. Do you want us to continue the ruse, or not? Plus, we save a bunch on feeding Dax.
Tomo: The pie eating contest will do that tooā¦..do you really think nobody will suspect heās not you?
Spike: Come on Tomo, a jobber walked around for months saying he was me and nobody noticed the difference, I doubt a bunch of morons watching a pie-eating contest would even care.
Tomo: Okā¦.but you better bring back some good cheese. Otherwise Iāll let Eli know what youāre thinking about when you see her!
Spike stares cold daggers at Tomo who smirks, before handing over his bag.
Spike: Now to just get the goods and not accidentally strangle this idiot.
With a nod, Spike steps through the door and off out to go meet Randy Angel.
~~~
Then again, an aura is a strange thing isnāt it? A reputation, a legacyā¦
You fear my legacy, and youāre right to do so Nelly, because bigger, badder, stronger, and smarter people than you have tried to stop me in the past, and they have all failed. Youāre right to recognise the threat standing across the ring from you, and itās a refreshing change of pace for someone to actually for once, look at the record books, look at the hundreds and hundreds, if not thousands, of hours of footage available on the XHF Network, still only NINE NINETY NINE! ā¦.and thoroughlyā¦
Acknowledge me.
So do you know what Iāll do in return Nelly Angel? Iāll acknowledge you too, the path of your career hasnāt been easy but youāve always managed to shine in the end, even as a reporter you stood out. You had that thing that makes someone special, unique, and different, and you honed your craft in the ring. You took the time to learn from those around you and rise through the ranks, nCw, XHF, you made a stamp and deservedly so kidā¦.
Honestly, seeing you develop has been a bright light in an otherwise sea of fucking mediocrity.
ā¦.and yeah, I probably could just cave your skull in straight away and donāt stop hitting until they pull me off youā¦.but I like the idea of a straight up match Nelly, I do, I mean why not show the entire world that I am what I say I am, that I can out wrestle the best of them, and in doing so capture the Junior Heavyweight championship in a way that honours itās historyā¦.
ā¦.then let that stuck up prick come beg me for a match.