Back to the Bear [L.A. Wombat Unification Match Promo]
Apr 7, 2022 20:41:56 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Dave D-Flipz, and 1 more like this
Post by terras on Apr 7, 2022 20:41:56 GMT -5
It is a pleasant spring day in the park. The air is still a little chill, but after two years cooped up inside, it’s important to make the most of the clear skies when you can. This thought in mind, L.A. Wombat is throwing a baseball with Wombat Jr.
L.A. Wombat: Good catch, son.
Wombat Jr.: Thanks Dad!
L.A. Wombat: Nice fastball.
Wombat Jr.: I’ve been practicing.
“That your boy?”
Los Authenico stiffens up at the sight of his archrival, East L.A. Wombat, By himself, L.A. can weather any onslaught of posturing and threats, but with the boy there? He has to conduct himself in a proper manner.
L.A. Wombat: Herb.
East L.A. Wombat: Must have got his looks from his mom.
L.A. Wombat: Go out farther son, let’s practice your distance.
The boy starts running further out, until he’s barely in earshot.
East L.A. Wombat: I’m just teasing you bud. I just wanted to say how sorry I was about Kenneth.
L.A. Wombat: I figured. Junior doesn’t know about his godfather yet, and I’d rather keep it that way. Don’t want him worrying about me every time I hit the road.
East L.A. Wombat: Yeah. Any prognoses yet?
L.A. Wombat: They have him in an Iron Lung.
East L.A. Wombat: He’ll like that. Mongo too for that matter. Back in the box.
As the two men talk, Wombat continues to throw long balls for his son to catch.
L.A. Wombat: I’m going to make that Byrd pay.
East L.A. Wombat: You’ll get your chance, you have that unification match coming up.
L.A. Wombat: Yeah. Unification match. Heh. For the other participants it’s just another title belt – but I have real history with all of them. ...Seems like when the Fauenix Division started, I was just trying to honour Redmond’s memory. Protect his reign, and maintain the belt’s prestige – but no matter what my intentions were, Magnus just kept adding new belts. I don’t know if Redmond is still alive, but if he ever does come back, I want to look him square in the eye and hand him the Phoenix title – the real one. Let him know that someone was thinking of him when he was in there – and protecting his interests. Not just some goon who put on a muscle suit to get a token title run-
East L.A. Wombat: Or two-
L.A. Wombat: Or two. So winning the title is important to me, but there are also some debts that need avenging.
East L.A. Wombat: Byrd.
L.A. Wombat: That worthless Gobblydegooker and his bloated sidekick. Ken, boxed or not, is one of the sweetest guys in the world. I tagged with him for over ten years. He’s the godfather to my five kids. He wasn’t hurting any body... so to lay him up in the hospital like that, apparently only to upset me? Well, I’m upset – but they aren’t going to get an advantage from me wanting to break their necks.
East L.A. Wombat: They’re due. And Adkins?
L.A. Wombat: As part of Greg’s little feud with Redmond he beat me like a dog. The same way Byrd went after Ken to get to me, Greg went after me to get to Fury. Greg knew that he could never beat Fury one on one, so he did what comes naturally – cheap shots and cheaper heat. Probably seemed like a good idea at the time, but it’ll be interesting to see how effective Greg’s one note bodily fluid defence works when he’s dry humping a... bear...
East L.A. Wombat: UrsusLa.
L.A. Wombat: Everyone seems to act like she’s cute just because she can do a moonsault and has stopped eating children on camera. But if she was destroyed before the match? Good riddance. That monster – that monster devoured me. For months I couldn’t provide for my family, she kept me from them, my kids crying themselves to sleep because they didn’t know if daddy was alive or dead. She might do a nice Fury impression, but so do I, and for my children’s tears? She’s got it coming to her.
East L.A. Wombat: Good for you, it’s fucked up that they’re treating her like a conquering hero.
L.A. Wombat: Right? And I’m not going to lie – I am terrified about being in that match with her, with being in the match with any of those bears. I haven’t been outside the bear for long, and frankly I have a lot to unpack – but if this is when fate deems us ready to be reacquainted? I’m just going to have to tough it out, fight through my crippling arkoudaphobia – and find some closure in kicking her square in the face on my way to reclaiming MY title.
East L.A. Wombat: Well the whole locker room is cheering for you... even the eastside.
L.A. Wombat: Thanks Herb.
The child returns.
Wombat Junior: What’s going on?
East L.A. Wombat: Nothing sport, just telling your Dad what a great champion he is...
Wombat Junior: We’re very proud.
East L.A. Wombat: Keep it up,
The two men nod.
L.A. Wombat: I’ve got this.
As East heads off, L.A. puts a hand on his son’s shoulder. He doesn’t know what the near future holds, but he’ll handle it like a real champion. The real champion.
L.A. Wombat: Good catch, son.
Wombat Jr.: Thanks Dad!
L.A. Wombat: Nice fastball.
Wombat Jr.: I’ve been practicing.
“That your boy?”
Los Authenico stiffens up at the sight of his archrival, East L.A. Wombat, By himself, L.A. can weather any onslaught of posturing and threats, but with the boy there? He has to conduct himself in a proper manner.
L.A. Wombat: Herb.
East L.A. Wombat: Must have got his looks from his mom.
L.A. Wombat: Go out farther son, let’s practice your distance.
The boy starts running further out, until he’s barely in earshot.
East L.A. Wombat: I’m just teasing you bud. I just wanted to say how sorry I was about Kenneth.
L.A. Wombat: I figured. Junior doesn’t know about his godfather yet, and I’d rather keep it that way. Don’t want him worrying about me every time I hit the road.
East L.A. Wombat: Yeah. Any prognoses yet?
L.A. Wombat: They have him in an Iron Lung.
East L.A. Wombat: He’ll like that. Mongo too for that matter. Back in the box.
As the two men talk, Wombat continues to throw long balls for his son to catch.
L.A. Wombat: I’m going to make that Byrd pay.
East L.A. Wombat: You’ll get your chance, you have that unification match coming up.
L.A. Wombat: Yeah. Unification match. Heh. For the other participants it’s just another title belt – but I have real history with all of them. ...Seems like when the Fauenix Division started, I was just trying to honour Redmond’s memory. Protect his reign, and maintain the belt’s prestige – but no matter what my intentions were, Magnus just kept adding new belts. I don’t know if Redmond is still alive, but if he ever does come back, I want to look him square in the eye and hand him the Phoenix title – the real one. Let him know that someone was thinking of him when he was in there – and protecting his interests. Not just some goon who put on a muscle suit to get a token title run-
East L.A. Wombat: Or two-
L.A. Wombat: Or two. So winning the title is important to me, but there are also some debts that need avenging.
East L.A. Wombat: Byrd.
L.A. Wombat: That worthless Gobblydegooker and his bloated sidekick. Ken, boxed or not, is one of the sweetest guys in the world. I tagged with him for over ten years. He’s the godfather to my five kids. He wasn’t hurting any body... so to lay him up in the hospital like that, apparently only to upset me? Well, I’m upset – but they aren’t going to get an advantage from me wanting to break their necks.
East L.A. Wombat: They’re due. And Adkins?
L.A. Wombat: As part of Greg’s little feud with Redmond he beat me like a dog. The same way Byrd went after Ken to get to me, Greg went after me to get to Fury. Greg knew that he could never beat Fury one on one, so he did what comes naturally – cheap shots and cheaper heat. Probably seemed like a good idea at the time, but it’ll be interesting to see how effective Greg’s one note bodily fluid defence works when he’s dry humping a... bear...
East L.A. Wombat: UrsusLa.
L.A. Wombat: Everyone seems to act like she’s cute just because she can do a moonsault and has stopped eating children on camera. But if she was destroyed before the match? Good riddance. That monster – that monster devoured me. For months I couldn’t provide for my family, she kept me from them, my kids crying themselves to sleep because they didn’t know if daddy was alive or dead. She might do a nice Fury impression, but so do I, and for my children’s tears? She’s got it coming to her.
East L.A. Wombat: Good for you, it’s fucked up that they’re treating her like a conquering hero.
L.A. Wombat: Right? And I’m not going to lie – I am terrified about being in that match with her, with being in the match with any of those bears. I haven’t been outside the bear for long, and frankly I have a lot to unpack – but if this is when fate deems us ready to be reacquainted? I’m just going to have to tough it out, fight through my crippling arkoudaphobia – and find some closure in kicking her square in the face on my way to reclaiming MY title.
East L.A. Wombat: Well the whole locker room is cheering for you... even the eastside.
L.A. Wombat: Thanks Herb.
The child returns.
Wombat Junior: What’s going on?
East L.A. Wombat: Nothing sport, just telling your Dad what a great champion he is...
Wombat Junior: We’re very proud.
East L.A. Wombat: Keep it up,
The two men nod.
L.A. Wombat: I’ve got this.
As East heads off, L.A. puts a hand on his son’s shoulder. He doesn’t know what the near future holds, but he’ll handle it like a real champion. The real champion.