JAMMIN' CHALLENGE | Jamrockers Open Challenge | OPEN CHALLEN
Apr 14, 2022 21:18:15 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Drag, and 3 more like this
Post by Jimbo on Apr 14, 2022 21:18:15 GMT -5
Thanks For Tunin' In
Three
Two
One
Let's Jam!
Three
Two
One
Let's Jam!
We open on The Boys. In very very poor quality. Looking like a 2006 =3 video on YouTube. Case in point:
“What’s HAPPENIN’ Forum!”
Cooldown exclaims, next to him Touchdown strikes an epic pose, letting the pecs dance. Both are stood in front of a heavily pixelated background of the American flag. Any attempt at reverence is undone by the brightly disgusting outfits Cooldown and Touchdown are wearing. Pastel beach shorts with suit jackets and unbuttoned dress shirts. Touchdown adds to his ensemble with a sparkling red tie. Despite the fact that, again, his shirt is unbuttoned.
“The POE-LEESE destroyed our very expensive camera, due to FALSE! ALLEGATIONS!”
“FALSE!”
“To be clear! We threatened NO-BODY. We harmed NO-BODY. We stole ONE-CAMERA! Thankfully, Ma is a whizz at bingo and we were out in two days.”
“Bein’ cooped up in the JOINT like that, does things to a man…”
“Ye-...”
“W-what are we implying happened to us?”
“Play it cool, man. Lean into it…”
“Yeah man, I’m cool man, I’m cool. We like…. Prove we’re hard, right?”
“Oh, man, soooooo hard, dude.”
“WE GOT HARD!”
Pointing to the camera with sudden intensity, Touchdown yells at the top of his lungs.
“AND IN DOING SO, WE DECIDED WE WOULD NOT LET OPPRESSIVE FASCISM CAPITALISM COMMUNISTS, SILENCE OUR FREE JAMS! VIVA LA ROCKERLUTION! SO WE BOUGHT A PHONE, b-BITCH!”
“Special shout outs to the lady who gave us SHIT for not having enough money between two men in their mid twenties to afford a fancy little iPhone or Samsung or whatever. Y’realise that the economy is in SHAMBLES?!”
“PICK UP A NEWSPAPER, NERD!”
“HEY, LADY!”
“SIT ON IT!”
“Tuuuuubular!”
“Ok, what the fuck are we do-”
We suddenly starwipe to the next clip.The boys are standing once more. For some reason, Cooldown now wears Touchdown’s red tie. Touchdown does not appear pleased at this development. Sulking as he mutters.
“I bought the tie. I wrote the promo. You’re being a-”
“SORRY. DO YOU HAVE THE TIE!? ARE YOU WEARING THE TALKING TIE RIGHT NOW?!”
“No.”
“NO! YOU’RE NOT WEARING THE TALKING TIE! Shut the fuck UP! I’M WEARING THE TIE, LITTLE BITCH! WE FLIPPED A COIN! I CALLED HEADS! QUESTION THE TOSS ONE MORE TIME AND I’LL JAM MY THUMB INT-”
Indignantly, with a ruffle of paper, Touchdown presses the “script” into his partner’s hands. He folds his arms and looks off-camera in a huff. Cooldown’s smirk begins to falter as his eyes dart back and forth on the page.
“Okay, man, what the hell is this? You expect me to read this?”
“T- w- well I wrote it for ME man! So yeah a lot of it is from my point of view and shit, if that bothers you that’s your problem there’s some good shit in there, man! Just READ IT!”
“Okay, okay, I’ll read it. I’ll read it from YOUR point of view then!”
“Hello! X Network. This. Jamrockers open challenge. Tag team. For you. For you.”
“If you wrestle us. We’re hot.”
Cooldown looks up from the piece of paper in his hand, looking straight at Touchdown with a confused expression on his face.
“What?!”
“Tag teams? We’re the best. Son. Face The Jamrockers is the best thing do, X Network. So. Doooooooooo.”
“THIS DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE!!!!”
“IT- YOU- WE- IT’S DELIVERY MAN! THE PROMO IS EIGHTY PERCENT DELIVERY!”
“Oh?! Alright then. BIG GUY! You do IT.”
Touchdown looks at his partner for a second before inhaling. Running a hand through his hair as he turns to face the camera. In a flash, the childish indignation on his face gives way to a cold stare.
“We. Are the best tag team in the world. Not the XHF Network. WORLD. I understand everybody wants to make a claim like that. This guy’s the best, no this guy is. But the fact of the matter is, you back that claim up through one way.”
“Legacy. To do that, The Jamrockers need to face the other so-called best. Need to beat them. NEED to! That’s why we’re throwing out this open challenge!”
“We respect that other teams were here before us, sure as hell others will be here long after we’re gone. But by the time The Jamrockers stop playing? Our song’s gonna be playing on loop in people’s minds forever and ever. LIKE THE GUST OF A DEMON’S WIND! LIKE THE HORNS OF VALHALLA! LIKE THE CRASHING OF A THOUUUUUSAAAAAAAND WAVES! Boogie Street LIVES ON IN THE HEARTS AND MIND OF EVERY-BODY!”
“It’s easy to look at us and see two jokes. Two guys in blinding tights and sparkly jackets that they can’t fill. But we sacrificed everything to make it to this stage. We CLAWED for everything we’ve had. No cushy upbringings, no distinguished trainers. Nothing. WE got here. WE fought to be here. Angels who ain’t seein’ heaven have no choice but to become devils.”
“We’re the real deal.”
“Wha-”
“What the hell was THAT? You wrot-you didn’t even LOOK at the paper! You didn’t say anything that was on there! Y-”
“I WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU, IDIOT! DELIVERY! DEE-LIV-ER-YYYYYYYYY!”
“WHY WRITE A PROMO THEN?!”
“BECAUSE THE WORDS ARE THERE ON THE PAPER AND IN YOUR HEART IT’S A TWO-WAY STREET!”
“THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY FUCKIN’ SENSE!”
“OHHHH HERE WE GO!”
Thanks for Jammin’...
See ya Rocker Boys…
AUTHORS NOTE: This is an open challenge to ANY Global Tag Team for ANY Show or ANY event. ANY!