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Post by Dylan on Nov 13, 2022 18:27:29 GMT -5
El Hijo de Hulu (the next in the streaming wars come to wrestling)
Height: 5'5" Weight: 156lbs From: Santa Monica, California Gimmick: After Netflix got a wrestling mascot, Hulu knew they needed one of their own to compete with the best. Enter Herr Freer, the (illegitimate) son of Hulu CEO Randy Freer - the son of Hulu. El Hijo de Hulu is a miniscule high flier. Probably a child tbh. He wears tights, wrist bands, and a big white bandana-mask over his face, with a large lime-green H on it. Maybe has a liking for Marty Donovan since Disney owns Hulu, maybe hates him more than the Netflix Warrior actually. Who's to say?
Style: High Flyer/Cruiserweight Comparable Wrestler: Rey Misterio Jr (WCW) Finisher: H! U! L! U! - A four-part combo move starting with a Hook kick, an Ultimate eye poke, a Leg sweep, and ending with an Uber Stomp to the stomach! (Crowd chants the letters of HULU as he hits each part of the move) Ad Free - Flying headbutt (this is only here so Mosler can recreate the Rey gets darted into a trailer moment from WCW) Comedy Special - El Hijo laughs and stomps on his opponent's foot
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Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Nov 13, 2022 19:37:34 GMT -5
Name: The Star Trekker Height: 5'5" Weight: 114lbs From: Starfleet Headquarters, San Fransisco(-ish), Earth Gimmick: With the recent rush to provide streaming network representation in wrestling, Paramount+ decided to play their most effective (and decisive) chip, Star Trek. The Stark Trekker could be called a dumbed-down, watered-down version of what Star Trek is. BUT, BUT, REALLY it is the Federation's foray into the wrestling world by sending a representative into the XHF Network to help with exploring wrestling or something. Also butt kicking. Also representation, because once again it's up to Paramount+'s Star Trek to do that for everyone else.
Style: Flexible Ground-Based Cruiserweight Comparable Wrestler: Brandi Rhodes (in Star Trek Cosplay) Finisher: The Riker Maneuver (It's like a spinning heel kick but without the spinning part. So more like a back-legged big boot? Slow clothesline via leg?)TREKKER HAS JUMPED SHIP TO DINOSAUR BONES
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Post by Dave D-Flipz on Nov 14, 2022 19:46:22 GMT -5
Name: Discovery+ Ancient Alien Height: 6'1" Weight: 218lbs From: Deep in the Pyramids of Egypt Gimmick: Not wanting to be left behind in the streaming wars of wrestling, Discovery+ has thrown their hats into the ring and freed the Ancient Alien from his home trapped in the pyramids, which were totally constructed by his people. He is here to show off his amazing intellect and technology, way beyond what us humans could comprehend. He wears a black unitard with blue and silver designs on it and a big D with the earth in the corner on his back. His face is painted silver and has the same D and earth in blue on his face. Style: Inventive Technician and Counter-Wrestler Comparable Wrestler: Stardust in blue Finisher: The Giorgio Tsoukalos Abduction (He grabs the foe by their hair from the second rope and lifts them by it for the full five count before releasing them, their hair now stuck in that patented Giorgio being abducted look) Better Technology! (Cheats by using some kind of weapon, usually painted or with knick knacks glued to it so it looks alien) The PROBE! (Greg Adkins's favorite move, you know the one) HBO MAX! (Crossrhodes)
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Post by Visit Neom on Nov 14, 2022 21:51:39 GMT -5
THE PRIMAL AMAZONIAN
Height: 5'10 Weight: 160 lbs. From: Seattle, Washington Gimmick: Jeff Bezo's tiny dick could not handle Marty Donovan being the heavyweight champion. He found the dirtiest softball player in the game and offered her a lifetime of free prime in exchange for the Disney pitchman's head. They wear Wonder Woman style armor with an Amazon Delivery vest over it. Style: Powerhouse Comparable Wrestler: Kamille (NWA) Finisher: Blue Origin - Jackhammer The Rings Of Power - The Rings Of Saturn Free Same Day Delivery - Spear Alexa - Twisted Bliss
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mosler
Special GUNS Acess
Mosler's not here man.
Posts: 2,335
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Post by mosler on Feb 17, 2023 19:17:26 GMT -5
ZAMBONI BANDIT
Height: 7'5" (seated in his Zamboni machine) Weight: 2 Tons Hometown: Montreal, Quebec
Gimmick: This is exactly the same as the ATV BANDIT, only the Zamboni BANDIT drives around on a zamboni machine... which is much larger and generally harder to hit moves off of. Wrestling Style: Seated. Comparable Person: Professor X minus the telekenesis.
Picbase: Any asshole riding a zamboni machine
Finisher: PARK - he drives over his opponent and parks on them for the win.
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Post by Venom 🕷 on Feb 17, 2023 21:07:56 GMT -5
ZAMBONI BANDIT Height: 7'5" (seated in his Zamboni machine) Weight: 2 Tons Hometown: Montreal, Quebec Gimmick: This is exactly the same as the ATV BANDIT, only the Zamboni BANDIT drives around on a zamboni machine... which is much larger and generally harder to hit moves off of. Picbase: Any asshole riding a zamboni machine Finisher: PARK - he drives over his opponent and parks on them for the win. He’s not some asshole and he’s got backup!
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mosler
Special GUNS Acess
Mosler's not here man.
Posts: 2,335
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Post by mosler on Feb 17, 2023 22:12:50 GMT -5
ASSISTANT ZAMBONI BANDIT
Height: 4'7" Weight: 120lbs From: London, Ontario
Gimmick: All A.Z.B. wants to be is Zamboni Bandit - which is just ATV Bandit with crappier wheels. Well Assistant doesn't even have wheels, instead using an imaginary zamboni to teach himself handling. Oh you've been run over a thousand times, fortunately it was only in his head.
Finisher: FAKE PARK - AZB parks his imaginary zamboni machine on his opponent, in a move that looks so much like interpretive dance that it actually might be dangerous.
Picbase: Scorps makes me work.
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mosler
Special GUNS Acess
Mosler's not here man.
Posts: 2,335
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Post by mosler on Feb 17, 2023 22:26:43 GMT -5
MöNGöNüTS
Height: 5'5" (when erect) (zing) Weight: 130 lbs From: The Minziro Forest Reserve, Tanzania
Gimmick: MöNGöNüTS is a chimpanzee from northwestern Tanzania. One night while watching the motion picture NOPE, Magnus decided that chimps were almost as credibly a threat as bears. Almost. So he purchased one. Remembering what an exotic animal buff the XHF founder is, and wanting to get in his good books, Magnus decided to name the chimp in honour of Mongo. Only instead of wrestle, it just humps everything it sees. Figuring that Mongo wouldn't be happy with a horny hairy sexual deviant sharing his name, changes were made.
Wrestling Style: Just humps everything it sees, until its disqualified or gets the pin?
Picbase: Any Chimp Pic will do... Color Base: a4e619
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Post by Dylan on Mar 12, 2023 12:57:56 GMT -5
PokéDom
Height: 6'1" Weight: 190lbs From: Minato, Tokyo, Japan Gimmick: PokémonTV's resident wrestling mascot
Style: Dogshit Comparable Wrestler: Dominick Mysterio Finisher: Who's That Pokémon? - PokéDom pulls out flashcards with various Pokémon on them and begins quizzing his opponent. When they get an answer wrong he mocks them publicly. Sometimes there might be a Transformer or a Digimon in there to throw them off. IT'S PIKACHU! - PokéDom takes his shoes off and rubs his feet on the carpet before shocking the shit out of his opponent. Sometimes it's not very effective...
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mosler
Special GUNS Acess
Mosler's not here man.
Posts: 2,335
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Post by mosler on Mar 24, 2023 18:51:49 GMT -5
MUAI AIRPORT TERMINAL BURGER KING KILLER JOE
Height: 7'2" Weight: 278lbs From: Parts Unknown, Muai, Hawaii Gimmick: Joe works at a Burger King, where he disposes of his victims in the Whoppers. It might be easier to offload the body parts at Arby's, but Joe isn't about cutting corners - that's why he's won Employee of the Month 17 times... despite blending into the flash fryer. Concerned about the many active Volcanos in his hometown, Joe has decided to branch out... seeing if he can hold down a job as a professional wrestler, and just trick people into cannibalism the natural way. With headlocks. He also works at Burger King when he's not wrestling or killing people.
Style: Power (driller) Comparable Wrestler: John Cena (YOU CAN'T FIND ME) Picbase: El Gigante wearing a burger king uniform Entrance Music: The Humpty Dance by Digital Underground
Moves: Value Menu - Places opponent in tree of woe, then hits rapid fire Tomahawk Chops - to the genitals Health Code Red - Bites opponent till he draws blood Alohater - Strangles opponent with a lay... Invisible - Joe blends in, so you don't notice him coming up behind you with a pair of scissors
Finisher: Whopper w/Cheese - Joe pulls out a bag with a whopper in it, and force feeds it to his opponent. The sorry sap knows that delicious meat is actually some guy named Phil, and promptly taps out... horrified at how good it tastes, and worried that they'll never be able to get a doggy bag of Phil again.
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mosler
Special GUNS Acess
Mosler's not here man.
Posts: 2,335
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Post by mosler on Mar 24, 2023 19:58:44 GMT -5
The Shroud of Viper (...Viper's T-Shirt)
Length: 31.5" Weight: 150 grams Threadcount: 2000! From: Dhaka, Bangladesh Gimmick: Have you ever wondered where Jeffrey Viper's shirt goes when he cuts a promo? For wrestling adventures of its own, of course. And if the shirt could stand up to the abuse of Jeffrey - what chance does GUNS have against it?* *It's a T-shirt that wins matches **It might not actually have anything to do with Jeffrey Viper
Style: Daredevil High Flyer/Technical Master Comparable Wrestler: Chris Benoit* *The shirt is a WRESTLING MACHINE, try as they might even the best and the brightest will have a hard time getting away from the Shroud's static cling. Finisher: Choke: While trying to get the damned shirt off them, opponents will frequently find it down their throat, around their neck, and inevitably being choked the F-out.
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