..::THE XHF NETWORK PRESENTS: THE RUMBLE 2022::..
Apr 24, 2022 17:04:36 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Rage (aka NoMercyMaster2001), and 7 more like this
Post by Dylan on Apr 24, 2022 17:04:36 GMT -5
The XHF Network Presents: The Rumble
Time: April 24th, 2022
Location: Ushuaia Beach Club in Ibiza, Spain
Theme: Sebastian Böhm's version of "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)"
In the beginning there was darkness. For a few seconds the opening bars of Sebastian Böhm's cover of "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" play as some flash bulbs go off but not enough to betray the scene. Suddenly the song rocks the lights on as the Ushuaia Beach Club is lit up in neon to reveal this year's Rumble set. The entraceway seems to have replaced the stage area of the club, and the ring looks to be butted up to, if not partly suspended over the pool. A bevy of revelers are partying as we see Randy Angel doing Super Sake brand Sake bombs with some of the spring break-esq crew. Meanwhile the camera scans the set up seating areas as well where the fans are also on their feet.
Hawke: Hello everyone and welcome to Ibiza, Spain and welcome to the XHF Network's 2022 Rumble! I'm Joey Hawke and- GET OVER HERE RANDY! My partner is Randy Angel, who has been enjoying the festivities tonight.
Randy: I'm back! Did I miss you talking about the penis match?
Hawke: You did not. We've got an...interesting and exciting night for you today folks! First up, Nelly Angel-
Randy: My brother!
Hawke: ...will be defending the XHF Junior Heavyweight Championship against a driver from CAR, Weiner McWeinie.
Randy: He's a penis covered in smaller penises! Peni? Penals?
Hawke: And after that the XHF Tag Team Championships will be on the line as the New Age Killers-
Randy: Oooh, not-evil evil Jason Long!
Hawke: ...will be defending against the Top of the Class.
Randy: I hope Mistress Discipline makes Death Trap tap!
Hawke: They're on the same team.
Randy: That's just what they want you to think!
Hawke: ...Regardless, the stars aren’t just in the ring tonight. Swathes of XHF Network members have joined us in the crowd to watch what some might say is the biggest XHF Event of the year!
Randy: Mongo needs to cut down on the comps, I saw people who didn’t even stay for a cup of coffee try and get in tonight!
Hawke: One person who definitely didn’t just come for the coffee was spotted outside by Nelly Angel.
We cut to a pre-recorded video. Nelly Angel is outside the Club.
Nelly: We’re here waiting for things to kick off here at the XHF Rumble. Let’s see if we can get some last words from the Rumble competitors as they arrive!
A vintage Porsche 356 pulls up outside the Ushuaia Beach Club. In the driver’s seat is none other than Tap Out Wrestling Co-Owner and Infinite Pro Wrestling Star, Cross Recoba. Nelly Angel approaches him as he turns the engine off and catches him before he can get out of the vehicle.
Nelly: He’s not in the match but Cross Recoba has turned up. Is this business or pleasure?
Cross Recoba: Maybe it’s a bit of both? I reminded the audience last week at the debut IPW show that this belt…
He gestures to the passenger seat where the HCW Diamond Title lays.
Cross Recoba: That’s been in my back pocket since I got here and yet I’m yet to have cashed it in. Caffrey tried to goad me into it in 2020 but since then? I’ve not really found the reason to use it but tonight, that’ll tell me if the time is right. It’s been two years since I arrived here and two years since I set my sights on Zoran but nothing could be sorted before the Rumble and so the chance faded.
Nelly: Are you hoping to see him lift it again?
Cross Recoba: I wouldn’t mind if the old boy walked out with the title again but there’s a ton of competition. From Tap Out alone we’ve Jason Long, Adrien Cochrane, Brad Kane, CJ Walker and Erin Gordon and just from that list is two former X*Crown Champions and a Rumble winner. I’m confident that even if none of them win, it’ll remind people why Tap Out Wrestling is the place to see the best matches on the Network! If they win? Next week will see our first guest appearance from MYŌJIN, if we hold the Network’s top belt - that’ll be the first of many guest matches I’d imagine! If not, then tonight’s pretty much an exercise in scouting, both for myself and for those last few open places on the Tap Out roster.
Nelly: You’ve mentioned Zoran, but any other tips for who is walking out with the big belt tonight?
Cross Recoba: There’s people you can’t count out, Jack Diamond is one - he never phones it in and Caffrey is another guy who, as much as I don’t want to say it out loud, has been here and done it before. Personally though? I’ve a couple of hundred on Steve Awesome.
Nelly: You mentioned that you’re not just scouting for who might win the belt but also for the Tap Out roster, can we get anymore information?
Cross Recoba: I’m a week out from Tap Out Wrestling 3 and trust me when I say that Poena vs NOMAD is one of the most exciting matches on paper we could make so I’d say I’ve got some time to spend on matters outside the ring. I’ve got a couple of people on my shortlist and I’ve a meeting or two with some of the talent in the ring tonight when they’re not preparing for their match…
Nelly: Want to give us a name or two?
Cross exits the vehicle, grabbing the HCW Diamond Title. He buttons his blazer up and puts a hand on the shoulder of Nelly.
Cross Recoba: I’ve given you and the viewers some information, where’s the fun if I go and spoil the outcome?
With those words, Cross walks out of shot and throws his keys to a valet who enters the camera’s view.
The feed cuts back to ringside as we continue with the night. Bonnie Jenkins is already in the ring.
Bonnie Jenkins: Hello everyone, and welcome to the 2022 RUMBLE! The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the XHF Junior Heavyweight Championship! Featuring the challenger, representing CAR...Weiner McWeinie!
The opening guitar picks from King Missles song, "Detachable Penis" play through the arena. Weiner McWeiner steps out onto the entrance ramp, wearing a full blown robe. He holds his hands out to his sides, soaking in the crowd as he walks to the ring, climbing the stairs. He takes the center of the ring, and all the lights in thae arena go out except for a spotlight on him. He drops the robe, and stands before the crowd in all of his glory.
Hawke: Our opening bout is going to be... memorable, to say the least.
Randy: Traumatizing. The word you're looking for is traumatizing.
Hawke: There's no need to be so harsh, Randy. Weiner McWeinie is a, erm... unique talent that deserves to be respected.
Randy: He's literally made of dicks, man! Dicks! Schlongs! Peckers!
Bonnie Jenkins: And his opponent, hailing from San Fransisco, California, he is the XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion...Nelly Angel!
"Rip it Up" by Jet hits as the crowd gets on their feet. Nelly Angel comes out, pumped for his match and takes off down the ramp, sliding into the ring when he gets there. He's ready for a hot match!
Hawke: Nelly is rip-roaring and ready to go as always!
Randy: The sooner he gets this over with, the better. Would you wanna see your brother wrestling a dick?
Hawke: Why must you insist on making this weird?
Randy: Because if it's gotta be uncomfortable for me, then I'm making sure it's uncomfortable for you, too! I WILL NOT SUFFER ALONE!
...though upon seeing his opponent, Nelly's enthusiasm noticeably dims a bit. For his part, Weiner merely beams at the champion. The official looks back and forth, the epitome of professionalism in not staring at the representative from CAR before he motions for the bell!
XHF Junior Heavyweight Championship
Singles Match
Nelly Angel (c) vs Weiner McWeinie (CAR)
The bell rings and to say that Nelly Angel looks perplexed is an understatement. Then again, considering how it's hard to see anything past the turgid, ah, appendages that seemingly jut forth from every inch of Weiner McWeinie's body... the reigning XHF JHW Champion can't entirely be blamed for his confusion. Angel looks over his opponent, trying to figure out an approach--something that isn't helped by McWeinie waving his arms as he begins to circle, all of the extra appendages waving in very distracting fashion. Nelly sidles away from Weiner, his expression growing all the more nonplussed.
Hawke: Weiner's got the mental advantage from jump street, though I can't say it's a surprise.
Randy: Wrestling with one's own equipment is one thing. Wrestling with another man's... thirty or so? Totally different story, especially with the rules.
Hawke: ...explain.
Randy: Usually, if you hit a guy in the balls, you get disqualified. Where do you hit when your opponent's literally all dick?!
Indeed, that seems to be the question of the hour as Nelly inevitably looks at the referee and gestures at Weiner, asking if he's going to get disqualified if he touches any of the phalli. In response, the official shakes his head... but Angel should've kept his attention on his opponent because McWeinie has gotten close enough to brush all of the appendages on his left hand side along Nelly's own! That small bit of contact makes Angel jump, a not very manly screech leaving him as he scrambles away as fast as he can manage, McWeinie grinning in creepy fashion as he quickly pursues!
Hawke: Your brother has got to get himself together if he wants a chance at retaining the JHW Championship. If he's too freaked out to land a single punch, McWeinie's gonna run him down like it's a CAR race and Nelly's on foot!
Randy: C'MON, NELLY! JUST HIT THE SON OF A BITCH ALREADY! THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO HIT A GUY IN THE DICK AND GET AWAY WITH IT!
Hawke: Do you really think that's gonna work?
Randy: It's worth a shot!
Being chased by the Pornhub version of a tentacle monster has Nelly going faster and faster, but that only makes Weiner put the pedal to the metal, arms outreached as he laughs maniacally. Unfortunately for Angel, McWeinie corners on a dime better than he does. It's not long at all before Nelly is in Weiner's reach. Panic makes Angel look back at his foe instead of where he's going... and that means that Nelly winds up cornered with nowhere to go! Weiner's laugh gets louder and louder as he advances, arms outreached and penises splaying outward like some sort of demented lionfish's fins. Before he can truly get his hands on Angel, though, the champion's fight-or-flight instincts settle on fight and he explodes out of the corner with a clothesline that sends Weiner down to the mat!
Hawke: Well I'll be. The first wrestling maneuver of the match has finally connected--
Randy: And Nelly hasn't been disqualified! I was right!
Hawke: Be that as it may, that clothesline isn't gonna keep McWeinie down for long.
Randy: Now that the seal's been broken, it doesn't matter. Nelly can finally stop pussyfooting around and wrestle!
Questionable wording from Randy aside, Angel looks from his fallen foe, to the referee, to his opponent, then back again to the referee... and just as his brother has observed, there's no disqualification. If anything, the referee seems to be wondering when the truth is gonna sink into Nelly's brain. What drives it home is how, when Nelly approaches Weiner, McWeinie surges up when Angel reaches down for him, hauling the champion into a... well, a small package!
One!
Two!
Thre--NO! Nelly kicks out at the last moment!
Hawke: Weiner McWeinie almost stole the JHW Title!
Randy: What a dick move!
Hawke: ...really? That's the joke you decided to go with?
Randy: Okay, I can't take this anymore. Not without a good-sized glass of Super Sake brand Sake can't fix!
Rolling to his feet, Angel glares at McWeinie who grins and moves the tips of two penises on his left arm like they're fingers as if to say 'I was this close!'. Having reached the point of not being able to tolerate any disrespect, Nelly takes great umbrage to this and hits a spinning kick that lands right on Weiner's chin--er, face balls? Chin balls? Another question for the philosophers. The challenger falls to the ground and Nelly tries to go for a cover, but can't find a good path, so he just stomps at Weiner, weaving between those erect shafts as best he can.
Hawke: Angel's sick of the challenger's antics, and I for one can't blame him!
Randy: Look at the bob and wea--wait, no. No. Don't look.
Hawke: You're looking at the veritable forest of genitalia, aren't you?
Randy: I NEED ANOTHER DRINK, STAT!
McWeinie starts stirring, deflecting stomps with his armor of girthy members, and gets to his feet. Nelly tries to hit a Codebreaker, but Weiner blocks it, grabbing Angel's legs in midair and turning the champion over into the strangest half Boston Crab to ever exist. The JHW champion is immediately desperate to escape to get the dicks off of him if nothing else since McWeinie's weird anatomy doesn't allow him to completely cinch the submission maneuver in. With impressive strength Nelly pulls himself to the ropes, making the official have to contend with having to potentially jerk Weiner off... err, off of his opponent.
Hawke: I... do not envy the referee right now. Or your brother, for that matter.
Randy: I don't think anyone does beyond, like, hentai fans!
Hawke: I'm going to pretend that I don't know what you mean and point out that the referee is finally making headway in getting McWeinie to release the hold.
Randy: Wait, are you--okay, okay! Jeez, I'll drop it for now--but once the show is over, I've got questions for you, mister!
The official is eventually successful, and Nelly clings to the ropes for dear life as McWeinie is made to back away. Weiner stands there and waits, and eventually the ref realizes he has to insist that Nelly leave the safety of the ropes, as he seems perfectly content to await the end of time there. Gentle guidance turns to firmer prying, and the instant Nelly is no longer in contact with the ropes any longer, Weiner yanks him toward center ring and tries to trap Nelly in an abdominal stretch, but by skill or desperation, Nelly flails his way out of danger. He rolls up to his feet and Weiner nails a knife-edge chop, which seems to instill Nelly with a strange relief, as there are no penii to contend with. Weiner seizes this opening and nails several more chops before Nelly remembers what he's doing and catches Weiner in an armdrag, planting a hand on a safe spot on Weiner's shoulder to lock in a seated armbar!
Hawke: Keeping things on the mat is a wise move on Nelly's part. If he limits the amount of genital contact, then he's not as likely to get squicked out. Weiner's been relying heavily on the mind games so far, so limiting his chances to do that will deal a heavy blow to the challenger's offense.
Randy: Nelly needs to end this quick--ooh! Maybe he can get a handful of arm-dicks and twist!
Hawke: I... I think that would get him disqualified.
Randy: Damn it!
Weiner tries to break out by rubbing the top of his head against Nelly's arm or body. Nelly reacts as though he's the one in the submission, shaking his head vigorously while refusing to look down. When this fails, McWeinie goes the "traditional" route of shifting his hips back and forth to get Nelly off balance. When Weiner gets his knees under him, he does a knee clip to trip Nelly up. Angel scrambles to his feet, but not fast enough to avoid a crisp spinning wheel kick from McWeinie with the added insult as one of the leg phalli whips over and smacks Nelly in the face, leaving a mushroom stamp behind. Nelly scrambles to the corner, but McWeinie is faster and jumps full into him with an avalanche splash that leaves Nelly downed, seated in the corner. Weiner starts beaming as he signals for his most humiliating maneuver, running toward the opposite corner, then straight back as he blasts Nelly in the face with a Bronco Buster! Nelly screams as he is essentially car washed in the face with phalli, a viscous sort of liquid making itself evident on the champion's features that only adds to his disgust!
Hawke: McWeinie is really getting excited at being in control of the match--
Randy: Jesus Christ, is that what I think it is?!
Hawke: I... I don't think you wanna know that, Randy.
Randy: GET OUT OF THERE, NELLY! LORD KNOWS WHAT YOU COULD BE CATCHING RIGHT NOW!
McWeinie looks really excited, as he stalks the champion while rubbing his right hand along all his vaguely seeping shafts, getting it nice and rancid as Nelly sputters and tries to get to his feet. The crowd starts building to a crescendo as Nelly staggers up to his feet, back to the challenger. He starts to turn and Weiner lunges, but not as fast as Nelly who leaps into the air and plants Weiner with BREAKING NEWS!, his Codebreaker! The crowd erupts (but in a good, family-friendly way) as Nelly scrambles into a cover, ignoring how disgusting it is to have to lay on McWeinie.
One!
Two!
Thre--NO! Weiner gets his left shoulder--at least I hope that's his shoulder--up off the canvas at the last second.
Hawke: The lightning-fast reflexes of Angel almost sealed the deal, but Weiner's not so easily kept down!
Randy: That thing's been erect for too long, Hawke. I think we need a doctor!
Hawke: Your brother is going to need a psychiatrist after this, I know that much for sure.
Randy: So will I! Good thing I've got plenty of Super Sake brand Sake to help me cope until then. Did you know they are the official sponsors of Off The Wagon?
While Hawke lets out a long-suffering sigh at Randy's shameless sponsorship plug, Nelly is apoplectic that this did not end the match and stomps the canvas as soon as he's upright. Weiner starts stirring after a few seconds and Nelly is the one stalking now, slapping his knee as he sets up for a Shining Wizard, but as he rushes in, it's Weiner that beats Nelly to the punch, rushing in for a headscissor takeover that seems to last a little too long in the headscissor part before Nelly is whipped over and lands on his back.
Hawke: That's not a good place for Nelly to find himself!
Randy: SHIT! MOVE IT, NELLY! DANGER!
Hawke: And looking at the expression on Weiner's, erm... face, your brother needs to get a move on it!
Randy: NELLY CHRISTOPHER ANGEL, I SAID MOVE IT NOW!
Weiner sees Nelly in a vulnerable position and points as many of his appendages at the corner as he can before climbing the turnbuckles. He signals for the Air Weiner as Nelly starts standing up, but before Nelly can present himself properly, Nelly slams into the ropes, shaking them enough to put Weiner off balance, causing him to land, main crotch first, on the top buckle! Weiner rolls pitifully off the top and to the mat, and as he struggles to his feet, Nelly is waiting with a three-quarters headlock. With a primal scream he pulls Weiner back toward the corner he just left, running up the buckles and backflipping over the tip with The Exclusive! He lands in a suggestive position, but doesn't pay attention, just scooting in so he can pin Weiner to the mat.
One!
Two!
Three!
Bonnie Jenkins: The winner of the match, and STILL XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion... Nelly Angel!
Nelly scrambles off his downed opponent, grabbing his belt and racing to the outside. Only then does he raise his title over his head, the fans cheering.
Hawke: That's going to be a memorable defense for Nelly, that's for sure!
Randy: A memory he's bound to repress once he's gotten a shower, anyway.
Hawke: You're... probably right.
Randy: I know I am!
Bonnie Jenkins: The following match is for the XHF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS and will be governed under one fall to a finish! Submissions and pin falls to win, count outs are on a twenty-second time limit, and disqualification will end the match with no titles changing hands in the event of. Ladies and gentlemen, BOYS AND GIRLS – Introducing first, the challengers, weighing in tonight at a combined weight of 460 pounds! They are revered through XHF history, the best at what they do, they are TOP OF THE CLASS - Death Trap and Mistress Discipline!
Arena lights dim down as the Spanish audience quiet and the Tron shows "Top of the Class" in big gold letters with sparkles. Cutting to images of Death Trap and Mistress Discipline working together in the 2020 rumble and events following, we see the duo destructive and calculated as "2285 Entr'acte" by Dream Theater plays over the speakers.
Hawke: What a duo we have here Randy, these two have been rising faster than rookie LeBron James.
Randy: Nobody is as good as King James, let’s get that straight. But Mistress Discipline is a dominant foe, and tonight the Champs will have a tall order to overcome in Top of the Class.
Hawke: Death Trap has a history of finding ways to win, even when he shouldn’t - and I don’t think I need to hype Mistress Discipline here. She strikes fear into Gods, not to mention Randy.
Randy: (gulp) Yet here we are, on the eve of one of the largest RUMBLES in XHF history!
Blue and gold lights strobe the arena as the stage and ramp light up again and Death Trap and Mistress Discipline hit the stage. Mistress straightens her collar and begins marching to the ring. She gets ten steps away and looks back to see DT still doing his signature pose at the top of the stage. She marches back and grabs his arm and forcibly pulls him down the ramp to the ring as DT high fives fans with his free hand. Mistress rolls into the ring and steps to the center while DT goes up the steps and looks out at the crowd as he steps through the ropes. He leaps to the closest corner and poses again as gold sparks shower from the ceiling. Discipline looks around quite unimpressed by all this hoopla. DT jumps down and the two begin to talk strategy as the lights return to normal.
Bonnie Jenkins: And introducing their opponents… the REIGNING, DEFENDING, X-H-F TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLLLLLLDDDDD — the NEW BORN KILLERS, JAMES RAYMOND and JASON LONG!
The heavy beats of "No Love" by Death Grips hits the speakers as the house lights shine down to the drumming beat over the speakers. Flashes of Jason Long and James Raymond with their respective singles championship gold appears on the Tron with each beat that passes. The instrumental pours through the P.A. System as the lights come to life and flash down onto the stage, the New Age Killers logo filling the Tron as fans within the arena bang their heads to the beat of the song. The house light spiraled around the arena as the Tron flashes the team work of both Jason Long and James Raymond as a team.
"You're fit ta learn the proper meaning of a beatdown
Madness chaos in the brain
Let my blood flow, make my blood flow through you mane
You got no business questioning a thang"
Madness chaos in the brain
Let my blood flow, make my blood flow through you mane
You got no business questioning a thang"
Once the lyrics hit the speakers, the curtain flies open and The New Age Killers slowly walk through, making their presence known with each step they take before stopping at the top of the ramp and looking out to the sold-out arena in front of them. Jason looks out to the crowd, James crouches down and brushes his hand along the steel floor below. Jason taps James on the shoulder as he rises up to his feet and they both look at one another, smiling before looking out to the crowd once more. They soon fist bump and make their way down to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope and leaping up onto the turnbuckles, on opposite sides of one another, as they stand there and soak in the crowd’s positive reactions for both men. They both drop down from the ropes and stand in their respected corner, waiting for their challengers to enter the arena/staring down their opponents with a dead serious look in their eyes.
Hawke: Beware the stare of the Tag Team Champions, they look focused tonight don’t they Randy?
Randy: Lasers staring holes through their opponent’s eyes, Raymond and Long have sought to staple a legacy in this division and tonight they get the first opportunity in making strides to doing that.
Hawke: Here we go!
XHF Tag-Team Championships
Tag Team Match
The New Age Killers (c) vs Top of the Class
Death Trap and James Raymond start the match off with a tie-up, to which DT shoves Raymond into the ropes and knees him in the midsection. An arm drag takeover into an armbar, Death Trap controls Raymond on the canvas and shows the strength he possesses. DT slams an elbow into the next of Raymond and brings him back to his feet wrenching the armbar as he sends him for a ride into the ropes. Raymond ducks DT’s clothesline and rebounds back with more speed, leaping for a cross body!
Hawke: Powerslam!
Randy: Death Trap’s will turn you inside out and half of the XHF Tag Team Champs just felt it.
Hawke: Raymond is in a bad way here. He needs to tag in Long quickly.
The pinfall ends quickly with a two count as Long breaks it up with a kick to the back of DT. This brings Mistress in and she clotheslines Jason up and over the top rope, causing both to tumble to the outside ring area. DT sends Raymond into a turnbuckle and should thrusts his way to annihilation, knocking any wind out of James Raymond before lifting him to a seating position on the top rope.
Randy: Kick to the face! Raymond knocks Death Trap back.
Hawke: This is his chance! TORNADO DDT!
Raymond slings himself forward, hooking the neck and twirling around as he plants DT with a Tornado DDT for the ages! The ring shakes on impact, and Raymond rolls over hooking a leg for the cover.
1!
2!
Kick out!
Raymond rolls over and mounts DT for a furry of punches that would make Mike Tyson blush. Raymond leans down and begins to maul Death Trap by biting him above the eyebrow! The referee warns James and begins his five count, but Death Trap flips Raymond off of him and gets to a knee quickly. DT slams a knee into the running Raymond, and hooks him by the midsection, gut wrench suplex!
Hawke: All of the bananas in Donkey Kong couldn’t save Raymond from that devastation!
Randy: You really need a girlfriend.
Raymond is picked up and sent to the corner where DT smashes him with an avalanche attack and tags in Mistress Discipline who is eager to let out some of her own punishment. Raymond shakes his head, ducking the first punch, and jabbing Mistress in the jaw. The punch lands but it’s not the reaction Raymond is looking for. Mistress grabs the arm of James and judo flips him into the turnbuckle hard! Her display of power and technique continues as she drags Raymond by the arm and drops a knee on his throat, rolling through to her feet.
Randy: MD showing why she is a force to be reckoned with.
Hawke: I do not envy the Tag Champions here. Raymond has been getting his ass handed to him, he needs to tag in Long.
Randy: The Tag Champs need to bring out that element that brought them to the dance.
Raymond crawls to his feet and holds his neck as Mistress hooks his arm and begins to apply a standing choke hold on him using his own arm as a bar to choke him. Raymond is reaching with his free arm as his eyes grow big, and Mistress cranks on the arm to bring James down to a knee as he fights towards his corner.
Hawke: can he make it?
Randy: Top of the Class making their name mean something here, showing how they school the competition.
Hawke: Long isn’t happy about this, look at him salivating to get in there.
James steps up to his feet again and this time Mistress pulls back, but Raymond spins a free elbow and smashes Mistress in the face to break her grip. Mistress loses her control on Raymond who leaps and tags in Jason Long. Long is quick to catapult himself off the apron, hitting the top rope with a bouncing attack and clotheslining Mistress Discipline with all his body weight!
Randy: Bombs away!
Hawke: Like Long does, crashing down on the competition with force.
Long wastes no time in getting up and bringing Mistress to her feet, back body dropping her after an Irish whip and going for an elbow attack on DT on the apron. This stirs up DT who tries to enter the ring, but the Referee stops him and this provides the distraction needed for Long to eye poke Mistress and plant her with a DDT!
1!
2!
Shoulder up!
Long pulls Mistress up and goes for a suplex but Mistress counters and stops it. Long goes for it again and this time Mistress slips over his shoulder and lands behind him. Driving Long into their corner, DT slaps her arm for a tag and elbows Long in the face before getting in the ring. Not a moment later Mistress back drops Long and DT grabs his neck to impact the double team move!
Randy: High impact from Top of the Class!
Hawke: Shows how these two are in sync doesn't it?
Randy: Long and Raymond seem off tonight, like they had some bad food. I bet it was the burritos, can’t trust street burritos I say.
Hawke: Oh you know from experience?
Death Trap picks up Long and with one fell swoop lifts him up on his shoulder and delivers a running power slam to one half of the reigning XHF Tag Champ. DT is aggressive grabbing Long by the neck and picking him back up, positioning Jason for a powerbomb.
KABLAAAM!
Raymond with a blindside elbow to the back of Death Trap’s neck halts the challengers progress. Raymond continues the assault as the referee tries to get him back to the ring apron, and this provides Long the chance he needs to low blow DT! Hawke: What a cheap shot by the champ!
Randy: Divide and conquer at any costs, the champions want to retain.
Hawke: How can they live with themselves if this is how they do it though?
Randy: Cash is cash, the check still cashes either way.
Long grabs DT and jumps up driving both knees into his chest as he drops to his back and stuns DT with the move! It launches DT up and down to his back like a spring, to which Jason Long takes full advantage and hooks both legs for a cover.
1!
2!
Broken up!
Mistress Discipline stomps on Long to save the match, and Raymond is back in to hit her with a kick to the midsection. A second by James and Mistress is in her corner fending him off. Long is up with DT and the two begin throwing punches. Long goes for an Irish whip and sends DT towards Mistress in the corner to which James moves and Mistress ducks, lifting DT up and over the top rope to the apron on the outside. Raymond goes to elbow Death Trap and Mistress dumps him over the top rope to the outside in a nasty spill that causes him to hit his shoulder on the steel steps. DT gets staggered by a right by Jason, and then another, holding the top rope to keep his balance. A third and Death Trap counters, headbutt to the Tag Champ, Long is dazed for a moment as Death Trap enters the ring. Mistress kicks Jason as DT does from the other side.
Hawke: SCHOOL’S OUT!
Randy: No bueno for the Tag Champs!
The Bicycle kick from Mistress Discipline rocks Jason Long and sends him staggering into a cutter by Death Trap! Mistress is quick to turn and dive on the returning James Raymond who was attempting to slide under the bottom rope. DT hooks the leg and has the cover on Jason Long in the center of the ring.
1!
2!
3!
The bell sounds as the Spanish audience cheers for the duo. They were all showing their appreciation as the crowd begins a song like cheer in their native tongue as the referee receives the XHF Tag Team titles and hands them to Death Trap and Mistress Discipline.
Bonnie Jenkins: Winners of this match and NEW XHF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS — TOP OF THE CLASS, Death Trap and Mistress Discipline!
Getting his trademark hat, DT places it on his head as Mistress returns to the center of the ring to receive her title and the two raise their arms in the air with the titles on display in the other. It was a good night for the challengers, and now new champions, Top of the Class.
Hawke: What a match these four had! I thought we would have seen more dirty antics from the New Age Killers. They tried, but tonight the dirtiest players did not steal the win.
Randy: Tragedy strikes for Jason Long and James Raymond tonight, but bet your last beer they aren’t going to let this be the last we see of them.
Hawke: Let the new champions enjoy their victory, because soon the XHF Rumble will begin and it’ll be a Spanish running of the bulls like you have never seen before!