Das Siffern hotten zu viel geleppert (Jakie Wentzel Reaction
Apr 28, 2022 10:48:43 GMT -5
via mobile
Mongo the Destroyer, robriot, and 1 more like this
Post by hardcorehammer24 on Apr 28, 2022 10:48:43 GMT -5
Cameras pan into a small soundstage, dimly lit. “The Mennonite Mangler” Jakie Wentzel sits in silence, staring off in his own disturbed mind. His usually clean, white V-neck tee was now a pale shade of yellow, his hair disheveled in a ragged bowl shaped matte.
The XHF Rumble had been a massive disaster, Jakie thought to himself. He had been sent by the Order to make a statement to the Network. The statement was made, indeed, just not the statement that was intended.
The rumble was over for Wentzel within 5 minutes. Overthinking his battle plan, he had neglected to see the elbow of Steve Awesome and was carelessly flung over the ropes…not even five minutes…he had let his supporters and benefactors down. Rest assured, Jakie scoffed, he would not show the same level of carelessness in his next Rumble.
Conquest Wrestling was through. A pipe dream invented by Joey Lazarus and Armand Von Krauss to assemble a new RSW-level legacy. Trusting those type of degenerates was the first mistake, within a matter of weeks, the cash had dried out despite best efforts and the company began the layoff of their roster…Jakie‘s suspicions had been confirmed and was now a free agent without a prospective future in wrestling. The Rumble had been his moment, and the moment was squandered.
With slight look of defeat, Jakie lifts his head to address the camera. He speaks slowly and with a strong sense of conviction.
I am a man off honesty. It iss my faith that guides me tah tell people tha way it iss, without some “sugarcoat,” as yah English heathens call it. I am a warrior fer peace, but when my honor iss called out, well then, I just haff tah speak my say, ye bist?
Jakie stands from the stool and points his finger at the camera.
We haff a sayin’ in our community…“Das Siffern hotten zu viel geleppert.” It means ‘tha drunkard’s haff just sipped too much.’ Naw, I don’t know what or how much you haff been drinkin’ Herr Frank, but iff yah think fer one moment that tha buffoon you call a friend is going tah take tha Commonwealth title, you haff either sipped too much off it, or you are just as much off a “dump sai”* as he iss.
You tell me that if I attempt tah throw Herr Billy out off tha ring, you are comin’ fer me…very well. Yah see, I don’t need tah throw Billy Fowler out off tha ring, because I can bet yah dollars tah doughnuts that his dumb behind won’t last but 10 minutes in that ring given tha caliber off talent we will be facin’ against. Because if I am what yah call me…a no talent hack…then what does that make him? I know yer memory iss not what it used tah be, but I made quick work of Billy Fowler years ago when competing in tha tournment fer RSW World Champion. He wasn’t in his prime then, ant he iss nowhere near his prime now. Hell, Billy Fowler has about as much of a chance off winning this Battle Royale, naw, as Armand Von Krauss ant tha Krimson Karnival haff off staying’ out off WUK’s business affairs.
Therefore I will show that I am tha bigger man in this, ant I will bide my time, ye bist me naw? I will focus my energy on tha other contenders ant leave yah to yer business. But bist me well, Frank Windsor, I will defend myself if provoked, ant will rain down tha lords judgement upon tha Bastards if any off yah stand in my way tah winning tha whole shabang naw. I assure yah it won’t be necessary…
A smile creeps over Jakie’s stern, sun-blistered face. There is clearly something off about the Amishman’s usually solemn demeanor. He once against rests upon the stool, the low lights eerily illuminating his joyous expression.
I think many off us shall enjoy Legacy #1. I know I will enjoy seein’ not only tha Bastards losing out on tha tag team belt, but I will savor tha moment that Billy Fowler loses his faith in himself. When, upon looking up ant seeing tha hardcore prophet Jakie Wentzel displaying tha Commonwealth title fer all tah see, he comes to learn tha truth.
That truth being quite simple…that all yah pig fuckers haff wasted yer time puttin’ yer faith in yerselves. It’s time tah put yer faith in tha Lort instead. It’s time tah serve tha Order…
He lifts his hands into the air and stares up into the sky, silent. His feature remain intense and Jakie looks as if a voice has spoken to him. He looks down and once again calmly addresses the cameras.
Just remember, I may be an outsider Frank, but I am not tha only enemy off tha Bastards. Ant that iss my advantage.
Camera fade out on Jakie’s face in the darkness.
*stupid pig
The XHF Rumble had been a massive disaster, Jakie thought to himself. He had been sent by the Order to make a statement to the Network. The statement was made, indeed, just not the statement that was intended.
The rumble was over for Wentzel within 5 minutes. Overthinking his battle plan, he had neglected to see the elbow of Steve Awesome and was carelessly flung over the ropes…not even five minutes…he had let his supporters and benefactors down. Rest assured, Jakie scoffed, he would not show the same level of carelessness in his next Rumble.
Conquest Wrestling was through. A pipe dream invented by Joey Lazarus and Armand Von Krauss to assemble a new RSW-level legacy. Trusting those type of degenerates was the first mistake, within a matter of weeks, the cash had dried out despite best efforts and the company began the layoff of their roster…Jakie‘s suspicions had been confirmed and was now a free agent without a prospective future in wrestling. The Rumble had been his moment, and the moment was squandered.
With slight look of defeat, Jakie lifts his head to address the camera. He speaks slowly and with a strong sense of conviction.
I am a man off honesty. It iss my faith that guides me tah tell people tha way it iss, without some “sugarcoat,” as yah English heathens call it. I am a warrior fer peace, but when my honor iss called out, well then, I just haff tah speak my say, ye bist?
Jakie stands from the stool and points his finger at the camera.
We haff a sayin’ in our community…“Das Siffern hotten zu viel geleppert.” It means ‘tha drunkard’s haff just sipped too much.’ Naw, I don’t know what or how much you haff been drinkin’ Herr Frank, but iff yah think fer one moment that tha buffoon you call a friend is going tah take tha Commonwealth title, you haff either sipped too much off it, or you are just as much off a “dump sai”* as he iss.
You tell me that if I attempt tah throw Herr Billy out off tha ring, you are comin’ fer me…very well. Yah see, I don’t need tah throw Billy Fowler out off tha ring, because I can bet yah dollars tah doughnuts that his dumb behind won’t last but 10 minutes in that ring given tha caliber off talent we will be facin’ against. Because if I am what yah call me…a no talent hack…then what does that make him? I know yer memory iss not what it used tah be, but I made quick work of Billy Fowler years ago when competing in tha tournment fer RSW World Champion. He wasn’t in his prime then, ant he iss nowhere near his prime now. Hell, Billy Fowler has about as much of a chance off winning this Battle Royale, naw, as Armand Von Krauss ant tha Krimson Karnival haff off staying’ out off WUK’s business affairs.
Therefore I will show that I am tha bigger man in this, ant I will bide my time, ye bist me naw? I will focus my energy on tha other contenders ant leave yah to yer business. But bist me well, Frank Windsor, I will defend myself if provoked, ant will rain down tha lords judgement upon tha Bastards if any off yah stand in my way tah winning tha whole shabang naw. I assure yah it won’t be necessary…
A smile creeps over Jakie’s stern, sun-blistered face. There is clearly something off about the Amishman’s usually solemn demeanor. He once against rests upon the stool, the low lights eerily illuminating his joyous expression.
I think many off us shall enjoy Legacy #1. I know I will enjoy seein’ not only tha Bastards losing out on tha tag team belt, but I will savor tha moment that Billy Fowler loses his faith in himself. When, upon looking up ant seeing tha hardcore prophet Jakie Wentzel displaying tha Commonwealth title fer all tah see, he comes to learn tha truth.
That truth being quite simple…that all yah pig fuckers haff wasted yer time puttin’ yer faith in yerselves. It’s time tah put yer faith in tha Lort instead. It’s time tah serve tha Order…
He lifts his hands into the air and stares up into the sky, silent. His feature remain intense and Jakie looks as if a voice has spoken to him. He looks down and once again calmly addresses the cameras.
Just remember, I may be an outsider Frank, but I am not tha only enemy off tha Bastards. Ant that iss my advantage.
Camera fade out on Jakie’s face in the darkness.
*stupid pig