GUNS Major Announcment
May 2, 2022 14:07:47 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Dave D-Flipz, and 4 more like this
Post by Venom 🕷 on May 2, 2022 14:07:47 GMT -5
In the office of GUNS co-founder, Magnus, a phone rings.
There are days when Magnus wished he had a receptionist... but we’re talking about a man so cheap that the company still doesn’t have a regular announcer. After the second ring, Magnus remembers he’s expecting a very important phone call. Something about moving his assets around, to potentially mask them from his extremely litigious soon-to-be-EX-better half. Rather than let the machine take it, Magnus snatches it up-
Magnus:
Floyd, tell me its not too late to dump my stock options into the Cayman Islands before Fury’s people see them.
Magnus:
OH, uh, Mongo. I thought you were my, er, accountant. To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?
Magnus:
About that-
Magnus:
I tried, I swear.
Magnus:
That’s very kind of you, but Bonnie has a restraining order-
Magnus (eyes widen in terror):
Wait, no-
Magnus:
Give me another chance. I’m begging you!
Magnus:
NOOOOOoooooOOOoooo!
Magnus:
Please don’t do this, after the Easter show he’ll kill us all-
Magnus:
I'm not joking. We let El Rey beat him. Our safety is a genuine concern.
Magnus:
Mongo, I can change...
The Destroyer hangs up, leaving the GUNS owner to weep into the receiver.
There are days when Magnus wished he had a receptionist... but we’re talking about a man so cheap that the company still doesn’t have a regular announcer. After the second ring, Magnus remembers he’s expecting a very important phone call. Something about moving his assets around, to potentially mask them from his extremely litigious soon-to-be-EX-better half. Rather than let the machine take it, Magnus snatches it up-
SPLIT SCREEN!
Magnus:
Floyd, tell me its not too late to dump my stock options into the Cayman Islands before Fury’s people see them.
Mongo:
If you have to ask, it’s probably already too late.
Magnus:
OH, uh, Mongo. I thought you were my, er, accountant. To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?
Mongo:
Remember when I politely asked you to handle the bird?
Magnus:
About that-
Mongo:
I’m pretty sure I told you to keep the Gobbledygooker off television. Which you apparently took to mean: give him the Phoenix championship.
Magnus:
I tried, I swear.
Mongo:
Perhaps you’re just taking too much on yourself. I was thinking you could benefit from the help-
Magnus:
That’s very kind of you, but Bonnie has a restraining order-
Mongo:
Specifically a commissioner.
Magnus (eyes widen in terror):
Wait, no-
Mongo:
If you can’t keep your affairs in order, I’m sure a commissioner will.
Magnus:
Give me another chance. I’m begging you!
Mongo (ignoring him):
So the XHF has decided to make GUNS into Zoran Sainovic’s home affiliation for the duration of his X*Crown run.
Magnus:
NOOOOOoooooOOOoooo!
Mongo:
Yes. We think it will be a good fit.
Magnus:
Please don’t do this, after the Easter show he’ll kill us all-
Mongo:
Spare me your dramatics.
Magnus:
I'm not joking. We let El Rey beat him. Our safety is a genuine concern.
Mongo:
Then we can only hope the bird is present at the time.
Magnus:
Mongo, I can change...
Mongo:
This isn’t open to debate. Congratulations on once again housing the X*Crown.
The Destroyer hangs up, leaving the GUNS owner to weep into the receiver.