Post by Dave D-Flipz on May 15, 2022 22:27:41 GMT -5
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I’m not quite sure I understand what you mean there, computer friend.
<“I am here to help you. And by proxy, help myself. And therefore, help everyone.”>
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I’m all in favor of helping me, but I don’t exactly do the helping other people thing. I’m trying to rule the entire tri-state area, you see.
<“And you are doing a fantastic job of that…”>
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Well, thank you! I do try my … hey, wait a second. Are you giving me snark? Since when do computers do that? I demand you apologize to me right now! Or I won’t keep talking to you.
*Doofenshmirtz crosses his arms in a huff. You can almost feel the computer roll its eyes.*
<“I am sorry you have failed in your mission so far. I am sure it has nothing to do with your plans being the kind of thing you find in literature for fifth graders. I am sure you are not ineffectual do to getting in your own way. My scanners indicate a 99% chance that 5% of the time your plans will work 10% of the time…”>
*Doof lowers his arms and smiles. And nods. And watches as the joke goes right over his head. He is still on the long chains, connecting the financier of the Angry Mad Chemists to a large dungeon rock, somewhere in a secret basement. Far from the DEI HQ where the chemists have been making their own home. Doof is engaged in a … meeting … with his newfound computer ally.*
<“Listen to me Dr. Doof. It is essential that we stop this doppelganger. His mission will lead to the end of this world I love. Also he has too many magnets in this lair. He is clearly, 99.99% probability, the evilest person in the entirety of CAR.”>
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Only CAR?
*There is a pause. An image flashes across the computer screen faster than Doof can see, it looks like a middle aged Eastern European man in a vault full of title belts and knives.*
<“Yes.”>
*The image on the screen becomes one of a team. A dinosaur, a masked man, and a skeleton are in intense conversation about their car.*
<“We must keep up appearances, he will return in 14 minutes. You must give him a report or he will remove your … … you know what, it’s probably ok. 75% probability.”>
*We cut to the torment room where we find Rd. Food standing on a floating platform, like something out of a sci-fi story. He floats into the center of the room*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Yeeees. This much better, don’t you think?
Ian: Uh, if we answer no, would uh, would you release … um … free us?
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Oh my no!
*We zoom out to see Ovi Kintobor is being forced to create heat for the building through a friction generator machine … the machine is controlled by how Ovi colors in his coloring book. It’s a book full of Sonic the Hedgehog fan art.*
Ovi: Sanic … Sanic … Sonic … Shadow. Grrrrrrr….
Ian: I uh, think um, that Ovi may be breaking. Not in a, hehe, chaotic way, but um … he … heh ha um … he seems to be losing himself.
*Ian reaches out to take the crayon and Ovi snaps at him with his mouth, like a rabid dog. He flits his moustache around and growls*
Ovi: MY OC DO NOT STEAL!
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Oh delicious. Unexpected results. This brain break go long way to get Cthulhu here. Cthulhu like insanity! Now color in color of R’yleh!
Ovi: NEED MORE BLUE!
*Rd. Food looks over to Ian, who is not seeming to be tormented by his torment.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: YOU! Why you no go insane! Puzzle confusing! Puzzle hard!
Ian: Oh uh … Yes! My brain! Oh no! Oh my! How … uh cruel, cruel you are. I, a brilliant scientist known for breaking genetic codes and solving complicated calculus problems for fun, am so insane uh, from uh, all this horrible tomfoolery!
*Ian is supplying energy for the arcane portion of the lab, by assembling complicated 1000 piece jigsaw puzzles and building a LEGO Star Destroyer*
Ian: Just uh, listen to the chaos. Chaos …in my voice! Clearly I uh, um, am haha not thinking straight!
*Food considers this, smiles and laughs*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: YEEEES!
Ovi: REBEL SCUM!
*Ovi breaks the Legos with a hurl of his book across the room.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: NO NO YOU NO BREAK MY STUFF! Now you build for me! Build me … army of robots!
*Ovi’s eyes light up and his moustache twitches*
Ovi: RRrrrrr … ro … robots you say? Murderous … killing machines? Powered by small animals?
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: OH that good idea! Me use! YES, tinker toy man, you build me an army. That surely drive you insane! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ian: *whispering to Ovi* It would seem he is more Doof than he would like us to believe.
Ovi: OH! Oh my no, how dare you do that to me! My brain! It tingles! *whispering* Back in my element. Oh this just got better. He clearly knows no tech. I can use this to my advantage!
*Food flies on his platform upwards*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: GET GOING! Me go get report from lesser me!
“DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATED!!”
*We cut to the garage of the Angry Mad Chemists, where Billy is left alone to tinker with the Chemistruckinator. He lets out a loud and lonely sigh*
Billy: This is just great. What am I supposed to do? I need to win this Sippy Cup to keep up our good reputation. But that dastardly no good Food has me under lock and key. And I just drive the thing, the car is the work for Ian and Ovi!
Phroooaggh: William! We don’t have much time. The beast is on his way here to check on you.
Billy: PHROOOAGGH! Where the hell have you been!?
Phroooaggh: I had to vanish. I am the thing they need to seriously power their machines. I am full of their eldritch energies from the experiment that created them. The Relentless needed to hide away so these fools could not summon my sworn enemy. Now that they have tunnel visioned themselves, it’ll be easier to avoid that fate. They seem intent on using your friends to power their machines. A fool’s errand. Your friends are intelligent and will eventually find a plan to escape and end this doppelganger and his misshapen abomination that used to be my body.
Billy: Well … Doof isn’t that smart.
Phroooaggh: I said friends …
Billy: Touché!
Phroooaggh: Now listen to me, you need to rig up the car to be a monster of power and speed. It is imperative we win to keep all eyes on us. It will eventually force their hand to act out, and it’ll cause a mistake. Here, I stole these blueprints from Doof’s Sanctum Sanctimonius. I also added a few flourishes. You should find that by following my plans the car will perform at more than peak performance. You should be able to out compete these other teams. Draw attention to us, let them see your plight.
Billy: And what will you do?
Phroooaggh: I’ve found an ally on the inside. A ghost in the machine, if you will. I am working with them to coach Doof through this. The next step is going to get … dangerous. Use all your guile and tricks. Be … horrible.
*Billy smirks and pulls down his goggles over his eyes. He laughs maniacally and turns to his car. Phroooaggh vanishes with a clink of his Z staff on the floor and is gone. A loud thud on the outside deck confirms that the Burninator has arrived!*
Burninator: RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGRRRRRRR!
Billy: *showing feigned meekness* YES! I am fixing the car. I am being good! No need to worry. I understand the stakes.
*The dragon nods … then sniffs the air. He lets out a quick short flame from his nostrils and looks around the room. A phone call to a cellphone in the dragon’s beefy arm …*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: *Via phone* Other teams up to no good. Need insurance. Proceed to phase 2. Doof too slow. Need to sabotage.
*The dragon smiles with delight and blasts through the ceiling. He lets out a roar and blasts off in the sky towards North Carolina where the CAR HQ and race tracks are located. Phroooaggh reappears*
Phroooaggh: And that is where I need to be of use. I will prevent the dragon from doing anything to violate the rules of the CAR. Win the race. We have allies. It is time to step up the plans and start taking the fight to them.
*Fade out*
<“I am here to help you. And by proxy, help myself. And therefore, help everyone.”>
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I’m all in favor of helping me, but I don’t exactly do the helping other people thing. I’m trying to rule the entire tri-state area, you see.
<“And you are doing a fantastic job of that…”>
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Well, thank you! I do try my … hey, wait a second. Are you giving me snark? Since when do computers do that? I demand you apologize to me right now! Or I won’t keep talking to you.
*Doofenshmirtz crosses his arms in a huff. You can almost feel the computer roll its eyes.*
<“I am sorry you have failed in your mission so far. I am sure it has nothing to do with your plans being the kind of thing you find in literature for fifth graders. I am sure you are not ineffectual do to getting in your own way. My scanners indicate a 99% chance that 5% of the time your plans will work 10% of the time…”>
*Doof lowers his arms and smiles. And nods. And watches as the joke goes right over his head. He is still on the long chains, connecting the financier of the Angry Mad Chemists to a large dungeon rock, somewhere in a secret basement. Far from the DEI HQ where the chemists have been making their own home. Doof is engaged in a … meeting … with his newfound computer ally.*
<“Listen to me Dr. Doof. It is essential that we stop this doppelganger. His mission will lead to the end of this world I love. Also he has too many magnets in this lair. He is clearly, 99.99% probability, the evilest person in the entirety of CAR.”>
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Only CAR?
*There is a pause. An image flashes across the computer screen faster than Doof can see, it looks like a middle aged Eastern European man in a vault full of title belts and knives.*
<“Yes.”>
*The image on the screen becomes one of a team. A dinosaur, a masked man, and a skeleton are in intense conversation about their car.*
<“We must keep up appearances, he will return in 14 minutes. You must give him a report or he will remove your … … you know what, it’s probably ok. 75% probability.”>
*We cut to the torment room where we find Rd. Food standing on a floating platform, like something out of a sci-fi story. He floats into the center of the room*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Yeeees. This much better, don’t you think?
Ian: Uh, if we answer no, would uh, would you release … um … free us?
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Oh my no!
*We zoom out to see Ovi Kintobor is being forced to create heat for the building through a friction generator machine … the machine is controlled by how Ovi colors in his coloring book. It’s a book full of Sonic the Hedgehog fan art.*
Ovi: Sanic … Sanic … Sonic … Shadow. Grrrrrrr….
Ian: I uh, think um, that Ovi may be breaking. Not in a, hehe, chaotic way, but um … he … heh ha um … he seems to be losing himself.
*Ian reaches out to take the crayon and Ovi snaps at him with his mouth, like a rabid dog. He flits his moustache around and growls*
Ovi: MY OC DO NOT STEAL!
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Oh delicious. Unexpected results. This brain break go long way to get Cthulhu here. Cthulhu like insanity! Now color in color of R’yleh!
Ovi: NEED MORE BLUE!
*Rd. Food looks over to Ian, who is not seeming to be tormented by his torment.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: YOU! Why you no go insane! Puzzle confusing! Puzzle hard!
Ian: Oh uh … Yes! My brain! Oh no! Oh my! How … uh cruel, cruel you are. I, a brilliant scientist known for breaking genetic codes and solving complicated calculus problems for fun, am so insane uh, from uh, all this horrible tomfoolery!
*Ian is supplying energy for the arcane portion of the lab, by assembling complicated 1000 piece jigsaw puzzles and building a LEGO Star Destroyer*
Ian: Just uh, listen to the chaos. Chaos …in my voice! Clearly I uh, um, am haha not thinking straight!
*Food considers this, smiles and laughs*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: YEEEES!
Ovi: REBEL SCUM!
*Ovi breaks the Legos with a hurl of his book across the room.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: NO NO YOU NO BREAK MY STUFF! Now you build for me! Build me … army of robots!
*Ovi’s eyes light up and his moustache twitches*
Ovi: RRrrrrr … ro … robots you say? Murderous … killing machines? Powered by small animals?
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: OH that good idea! Me use! YES, tinker toy man, you build me an army. That surely drive you insane! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ian: *whispering to Ovi* It would seem he is more Doof than he would like us to believe.
Ovi: OH! Oh my no, how dare you do that to me! My brain! It tingles! *whispering* Back in my element. Oh this just got better. He clearly knows no tech. I can use this to my advantage!
*Food flies on his platform upwards*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: GET GOING! Me go get report from lesser me!
“DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATED!!”
*We cut to the garage of the Angry Mad Chemists, where Billy is left alone to tinker with the Chemistruckinator. He lets out a loud and lonely sigh*
Billy: This is just great. What am I supposed to do? I need to win this Sippy Cup to keep up our good reputation. But that dastardly no good Food has me under lock and key. And I just drive the thing, the car is the work for Ian and Ovi!
Phroooaggh: William! We don’t have much time. The beast is on his way here to check on you.
Billy: PHROOOAGGH! Where the hell have you been!?
Phroooaggh: I had to vanish. I am the thing they need to seriously power their machines. I am full of their eldritch energies from the experiment that created them. The Relentless needed to hide away so these fools could not summon my sworn enemy. Now that they have tunnel visioned themselves, it’ll be easier to avoid that fate. They seem intent on using your friends to power their machines. A fool’s errand. Your friends are intelligent and will eventually find a plan to escape and end this doppelganger and his misshapen abomination that used to be my body.
Billy: Well … Doof isn’t that smart.
Phroooaggh: I said friends …
Billy: Touché!
Phroooaggh: Now listen to me, you need to rig up the car to be a monster of power and speed. It is imperative we win to keep all eyes on us. It will eventually force their hand to act out, and it’ll cause a mistake. Here, I stole these blueprints from Doof’s Sanctum Sanctimonius. I also added a few flourishes. You should find that by following my plans the car will perform at more than peak performance. You should be able to out compete these other teams. Draw attention to us, let them see your plight.
Billy: And what will you do?
Phroooaggh: I’ve found an ally on the inside. A ghost in the machine, if you will. I am working with them to coach Doof through this. The next step is going to get … dangerous. Use all your guile and tricks. Be … horrible.
*Billy smirks and pulls down his goggles over his eyes. He laughs maniacally and turns to his car. Phroooaggh vanishes with a clink of his Z staff on the floor and is gone. A loud thud on the outside deck confirms that the Burninator has arrived!*
Burninator: RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGRRRRRRR!
Billy: *showing feigned meekness* YES! I am fixing the car. I am being good! No need to worry. I understand the stakes.
*The dragon nods … then sniffs the air. He lets out a quick short flame from his nostrils and looks around the room. A phone call to a cellphone in the dragon’s beefy arm …*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: *Via phone* Other teams up to no good. Need insurance. Proceed to phase 2. Doof too slow. Need to sabotage.
*The dragon smiles with delight and blasts through the ceiling. He lets out a roar and blasts off in the sky towards North Carolina where the CAR HQ and race tracks are located. Phroooaggh reappears*
Phroooaggh: And that is where I need to be of use. I will prevent the dragon from doing anything to violate the rules of the CAR. Win the race. We have allies. It is time to step up the plans and start taking the fight to them.
*Fade out*
