Enter The Eddie D Multiverse (Fowler Reaction)
May 20, 2022 8:55:44 GMT -5
robriot and eddiehavok like this
Post by fowler on May 20, 2022 8:55:44 GMT -5
Billy Fowler lies on the king-size bed in his Leeds hotel room watching the TV on the wall beyond the foot of the bed. The voice that can be heard coming from it is that of Eddie D. Fowler nurses a glass of whiskey in one hand and his mobile phone in the other. Standing to his left beside the bed is the cardboard cut-out of Eddie Havok, now sporting some silly glasses and a moustache drawn on with Sharpie marker pen.
Fowler: “I’m watching it right now! This is some fucking mind-bending stuff lads. I mean here we are, days away from a huge world title match and this prick is talking about PPV buy-rates and live attendance for a bunch of companies that went out of business…”
Fowler is addressing the screen of his mobile where he is holding a video call with Frank and Rob. Both of them appear to be in their own rooms watching the same interview.
Riot: “Who does he think he is Rodney Feltzer?”
Billy and Frank look at him confused.
Fowler: “Who?”
Riot: “You know, the famous journalist and wrestling pundit.”
Frank: “Oh! You mean Dave Feltzer.”
Riot: “No, I’m sure it’s Rodney.”
Fowler: “Fuck me! Now he’s trying to convince us that SWAT was a good company. Way to try and make yourself relevant to a world title feature. I mean what does SWAT even stand for?”
Frank: “Swift Wanking And Tossing.”
On that note the three men return their attention to the TV for a few moments.
Fowler: “Right ok, he’s lost me here. I mean listen to the man.
He's just called me a cry baby because I said he doesn’t know who we are and he’s defending that by saying that world doesn’t owe us a friend request and you need to do something special to earn that.”
Riot: “So he’s just proved us right…”
Fowler: “Exactly! If he knew our careers, he would know that he’s addressing easily the most decorated collective of wrestlers in the history of this sport. The world does in fact owe us!
But he doesn’t stop there he’s just said that we are stuck pratting about in Leeds rather than wrestling in The Garden…
Now let that sink in.
He’s just shat all over Wrestle:UK and put a world title match in the category of “Pratting about”, wow I mean there is a man I would want as the face of my company.”
Frank and Rob erupt into tears of laughter.
Fowler: “Now the audacity to say that I need to watch out for diabetes and old age? The man is 300 pounds and 60 years old! Are we sure he hasn’t just been looking into a mirror for the last few weeks.”
Windsor: “Maybe that is how he preps for his promos.”
Fowler: “Well maybe he should spend the time he spends looking at ratings and buy rates studying his actual opponents?”
Riot: “Maybe he’s Autistic… Have you ever watched Rainman.”
Windsor: “Whoa, be careful Billy. I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to punch an Autistic person.”
Fowler: “I don’t think he’s Autistic guys. I think he just likes to try and validate himself. Based on some of his comments tonight I think he might actually be operating in some kind of multiverse, but lets paint the picture loud and clear for him.”
Billy Fowler hangs up the call and opens his TikTok app, fumbling around he eventually starts a new video.
Fowler: “Yo Eddie D. How’d it going big man? I have to say, lovely little interview you just gave with that Alfred wannabe. You really stirred the emotions.
Eh scrap that, you stirred jack shit!
You want validation for SWAT, ok fine. SWAT was a good wrestling company, but you know what, beign good doesn’t get you anywhere mate. That’s why you won’t be leaving this weekend with the world title, because you’re simply good and I am truly great.
You reference the fact that Dozig and Goth were part of SWAT like that instantly makes gives it a rub and adds a shine. The only thing that Donzig does to anything is smear shit stains all over it.
Listen to me and listen well old man. If I were you I would stay the fuck out of my ring this weekend. Why don’t you grab yourself a reinforced wheelchair for your fat arse and pop yourself down at ring side to watch your name’s sake Eddie H get his fucking head caved in by the only person capable of carrying this great company upon his shoulders!
Oh speaking of Eddie H he wants to say hi!”
Fowler points the camera at the cardboard cut-out and moves it slightly whilst putting of a whiney voice.
Fowler: “Oh hi Eddie D, I really love your name! Let me by you a beer from my shitty bar. Wanna ride my motorcycle with me? You can tell me all about SWAT! Maybe I could have been world champion of SWAT just like you!”
Fowler throws the cut-out across the room.
Fowler: “That’s enough from that wank stain!
I’ll give you some kudos points for your perceived confidence heading into the match Mr D but time to wake up. Stop living in whatever dream world you’re clearly residing in. Stop reading facts and figures and start reading history and the present situation. Because both of those will tell you the same story. The story is this, when I am on my A game, I am unstoppable. I have the gold to prove it. What you are looking at right now is Billy Fowler on his A game. And this weekend I walk into the stadium, and I prove without shadow of a doubt that I am the only man worthy of the world title. I get my moment, and then as the curtain falls, you’ll see my best friends beside me with those tag titles raised high!
At that point you will finally get it into that big fat head of yours what I’ve been trying to tell you. You will look into the ring and see exceptionalism, greatness, legends in flesh and blood. You’ll finally understand what The Bastards are, and what we are all about and you will understand that we are the undeniable gold standard of professional wrestling.
I want you to be the first Eddie. The first person to fix eyes on the new era.
The Bastard era.”
The video cuts.
Fowler: “I’m watching it right now! This is some fucking mind-bending stuff lads. I mean here we are, days away from a huge world title match and this prick is talking about PPV buy-rates and live attendance for a bunch of companies that went out of business…”
Fowler is addressing the screen of his mobile where he is holding a video call with Frank and Rob. Both of them appear to be in their own rooms watching the same interview.
Riot: “Who does he think he is Rodney Feltzer?”
Billy and Frank look at him confused.
Fowler: “Who?”
Riot: “You know, the famous journalist and wrestling pundit.”
Frank: “Oh! You mean Dave Feltzer.”
Riot: “No, I’m sure it’s Rodney.”
Fowler: “Fuck me! Now he’s trying to convince us that SWAT was a good company. Way to try and make yourself relevant to a world title feature. I mean what does SWAT even stand for?”
Frank: “Swift Wanking And Tossing.”
On that note the three men return their attention to the TV for a few moments.
Fowler: “Right ok, he’s lost me here. I mean listen to the man.
He's just called me a cry baby because I said he doesn’t know who we are and he’s defending that by saying that world doesn’t owe us a friend request and you need to do something special to earn that.”
Riot: “So he’s just proved us right…”
Fowler: “Exactly! If he knew our careers, he would know that he’s addressing easily the most decorated collective of wrestlers in the history of this sport. The world does in fact owe us!
But he doesn’t stop there he’s just said that we are stuck pratting about in Leeds rather than wrestling in The Garden…
Now let that sink in.
He’s just shat all over Wrestle:UK and put a world title match in the category of “Pratting about”, wow I mean there is a man I would want as the face of my company.”
Frank and Rob erupt into tears of laughter.
Fowler: “Now the audacity to say that I need to watch out for diabetes and old age? The man is 300 pounds and 60 years old! Are we sure he hasn’t just been looking into a mirror for the last few weeks.”
Windsor: “Maybe that is how he preps for his promos.”
Fowler: “Well maybe he should spend the time he spends looking at ratings and buy rates studying his actual opponents?”
Riot: “Maybe he’s Autistic… Have you ever watched Rainman.”
Windsor: “Whoa, be careful Billy. I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to punch an Autistic person.”
Fowler: “I don’t think he’s Autistic guys. I think he just likes to try and validate himself. Based on some of his comments tonight I think he might actually be operating in some kind of multiverse, but lets paint the picture loud and clear for him.”
Billy Fowler hangs up the call and opens his TikTok app, fumbling around he eventually starts a new video.
Fowler: “Yo Eddie D. How’d it going big man? I have to say, lovely little interview you just gave with that Alfred wannabe. You really stirred the emotions.
Eh scrap that, you stirred jack shit!
You want validation for SWAT, ok fine. SWAT was a good wrestling company, but you know what, beign good doesn’t get you anywhere mate. That’s why you won’t be leaving this weekend with the world title, because you’re simply good and I am truly great.
You reference the fact that Dozig and Goth were part of SWAT like that instantly makes gives it a rub and adds a shine. The only thing that Donzig does to anything is smear shit stains all over it.
Listen to me and listen well old man. If I were you I would stay the fuck out of my ring this weekend. Why don’t you grab yourself a reinforced wheelchair for your fat arse and pop yourself down at ring side to watch your name’s sake Eddie H get his fucking head caved in by the only person capable of carrying this great company upon his shoulders!
Oh speaking of Eddie H he wants to say hi!”
Fowler points the camera at the cardboard cut-out and moves it slightly whilst putting of a whiney voice.
Fowler: “Oh hi Eddie D, I really love your name! Let me by you a beer from my shitty bar. Wanna ride my motorcycle with me? You can tell me all about SWAT! Maybe I could have been world champion of SWAT just like you!”
Fowler throws the cut-out across the room.
Fowler: “That’s enough from that wank stain!
I’ll give you some kudos points for your perceived confidence heading into the match Mr D but time to wake up. Stop living in whatever dream world you’re clearly residing in. Stop reading facts and figures and start reading history and the present situation. Because both of those will tell you the same story. The story is this, when I am on my A game, I am unstoppable. I have the gold to prove it. What you are looking at right now is Billy Fowler on his A game. And this weekend I walk into the stadium, and I prove without shadow of a doubt that I am the only man worthy of the world title. I get my moment, and then as the curtain falls, you’ll see my best friends beside me with those tag titles raised high!
At that point you will finally get it into that big fat head of yours what I’ve been trying to tell you. You will look into the ring and see exceptionalism, greatness, legends in flesh and blood. You’ll finally understand what The Bastards are, and what we are all about and you will understand that we are the undeniable gold standard of professional wrestling.
I want you to be the first Eddie. The first person to fix eyes on the new era.
The Bastard era.”
The video cuts.
