Post by Steve Awesome on May 30, 2022 2:04:19 GMT -5
It’s been a long time coming.
Fans have been dreaming of it for years.
Now it’s finally here.
The return of the AWESOME BASTARDS!
The team of Steve Awesome and Rat Bastard. Some call them the perfect match. One’s collective amount of sleaze seems to consistently be in tow with the others.
A match made in heaven they say.
Or at the least,
A match made in a run-down cheap bar where all the groupies go after the show.
But nevertheless they are back. Returning as a team member once again at REIGNS Festa Toda a Noite em São Luis show later this month.
They will step into the ring against Donzig and Aiden Merric. Who isn’t even a real team by the way, just a couple of guys who just so happen to have all the REIGN plates.
But here’s the thing….
USUALLY
Nine times out of ten
When it’s all said and done,
The Awesome Bastards are going to whip ass.
They are the charismatically raw deal
They make the ladies squeal
When they bust out there loads of hot sex appeal.
While some people are jammin there rockers
Steve and Rat are slapping your mammies knockers.
They are quite possibly the best combination in the XHF to have never held the XHF Tag Team Titles. And you just know they are back to right that wrong and claim their rightful spot on top.
Shouldn’t be too hard against a doofus and an Aussie doofus…
Except one problem…
WHERE IN THE HECK IS STEVE AWESOME!?
It’s kinda hard to have the epic return of a short lived but legendary tag team with one half of it missing in action.
We asked Rat Bastard.
Rat Bastard
Edgy Legend from the past
“The hell if I know where Steve is. I’m not his damn babysitter.”
Rat says with an annoyed tone. The camera pans back to see him sitting at a merch table full of Awesome Bastard returns t-shirts and memorabilia.
“But I swear if he ghosts me on this match I’m gonna be ticked off.”
He crosses his arms and scowls.
Our own Brent Sampson caught up with Zelda Knite. She seemed stressed and worried.
Zelda Knite
Last ever ncw world champion
“It just freaks me out you know…he left the hospital immediately after being stabbed so god damn much by Zoran Sainovic. He could be dead, just bled out somewhere in a ditch on the side of the road…”
She wipes the tears out of her tired puffy eyes. Brent Sampson sat nearby and tried to comfort her.
“There, there Zelda, I’m sure you don’t really think he’s dead.”
“I mean I hope he isn’t. I love him. But he is stupid and stubborn. So you never know.”
Brent wanted to argue but he soon realized he couldn’t. He just shrugged and nodded his head.
“I just feel helpless in all of this and Zoran is waltzing around here as XCrown Champion. Something needs to be done.”
Where would Steve be? Why isn’t he responding to those that care about him?
More as this story develops
There were pictures on the wall of a happy family. Many of them, set up in beautiful frames and organized in a fashionable style. In almost all of them there were only two people.
Mandi Matthews, Steve’s ex wife, and she’s posing with her daughter Lauren. In every single one, they looked incredibly happy and they showed off the adventures they’ve had together. There were even a couple pictures of Phil taped to the wall. Including one of them together before the XHF Rumble.
Phil poked his head into the room and he looked at Mandi hard at work I her office.
Phil: Come on sweetheart, it’s almost nine o’clock. Haven’t you done enough work for one night?
Mandi: I’m fine Phil. I just have a few more emails to take care of and then I’ll call it a night.
Phil: Well alright honey, but you know I worry.
Mandi smiled at her desk. It was nice to have a man in her life that cared enough to worry.
Mandi: That’s why you are great, Phil. Just give me twenty more minutes.
Phil nods and leaves the room. A few moments later Mandi’s phone rings. It was an unknown number. Fearing it could be a client, she decides to answer the call.
“Hello?”
“Mandi. It’s me.”
Mandi instantly knew the voice.
“Steve!? Is that you? Everyone has been looking for you. Where are you?”
“That doesn’t matter. I just want you to know that I’m going to fix things.”
Mandi grew confused and a bit frustrated by his cryptic words and slurred speech.
“What do you mean? Are you drunk?”
“….maybe.
“What!? Steve, damn it. I’m hanging up.”
“Waitwaitwaitwait…”
He stops her just before she pressed the button on her cell.
“Just listen for two seconds. All I’ve ever wanted to do was get my family back. You and Lauren are the ones that got away. What I envision my perfect paradise to be. That’s why I worked so hard to stay sober for two years until Zoran ruined it. I worked so hard to become someone you and Lauren could be proud of and want in your life, until Zoran ruined it. I may have fallen down to square one, but I’m going to fix everything. I promise.”
Mandi just rolled her eyes. She wasn’t exactly sure why she didn’t just hang up.
“Listen, Steve. There is nothing to fix. We are happy here. Happy with Phil. Without you.”
“….”
Silence on the other end. Maybe he hung up.
“Steve? Hello?”
“I’m going to make it right, Mandi. You’ll see.”
Click. The line went dead. Mandi just rolled her eyes and set the phone down. She wasn’t sure what Steve was doing and she didn’t care. She turned her phone off and turned her laptop off and left the office.
To spend time with her family.
Zelda Knite
Brave bitch
Zelda was scrolling through her phone when suddenly she spotted something on social media.
From the blog of Rumor Mills:
"Recent social media posts by Zoran Sainovic, have shown photographs of The XHF Devil attending a performance at the Theater Artur Azevedo. This indicates that Sainovic is currently located in Sao Luis, where REIGN is holding their Festa Toda a Noite em Sao Luis event in the coming days. Could REIGN see an X*Crown defence? Between Donzig, Merric, and von Krauss there are no end to potential challengers for Der Kommissar. The show is still advertising Steve Awesome in the main event, but no one who watched the Rumble could think that Steve was ready to wrestle again, if ever. There are a number of options - from the promise of Steve being there has piqued Sainovic's interest, or perhaps The Final Boss is planning to act as a substitute - teaming with Rat Bastard in the main event? One thing is clear - as nice as Sao Luis is this time of year, there is no way REIGN has a show this weekend without Zoran Sainovic involved."
“THAT'S IT!”
She gets up from her chair in the middle of Sampson answering a question. She rushes over to a special bag that she had in her closet. She reaches in and pulls out the nCw world championship.
“If he’s gonna be at REIGN then so am I.”
“Zelda what are you doing?”
Zelda takes a deep breath as she stares into the special championship that represented such an amazing five years of her wrestling career. She nods and flips the title on her shoulder.
“Something that should have been done a long time ago, Brent. I’m gonna take care of business.”
Zelda Knite pats the title confidently.
Fade.
Fans have been dreaming of it for years.
Now it’s finally here.
The return of the AWESOME BASTARDS!
The team of Steve Awesome and Rat Bastard. Some call them the perfect match. One’s collective amount of sleaze seems to consistently be in tow with the others.
A match made in heaven they say.
Or at the least,
A match made in a run-down cheap bar where all the groupies go after the show.
But nevertheless they are back. Returning as a team member once again at REIGNS Festa Toda a Noite em São Luis show later this month.
They will step into the ring against Donzig and Aiden Merric. Who isn’t even a real team by the way, just a couple of guys who just so happen to have all the REIGN plates.
But here’s the thing….
USUALLY
Nine times out of ten
When it’s all said and done,
The Awesome Bastards are going to whip ass.
They are the charismatically raw deal
They make the ladies squeal
When they bust out there loads of hot sex appeal.
While some people are jammin there rockers
Steve and Rat are slapping your mammies knockers.
They are quite possibly the best combination in the XHF to have never held the XHF Tag Team Titles. And you just know they are back to right that wrong and claim their rightful spot on top.
Shouldn’t be too hard against a doofus and an Aussie doofus…
Except one problem…
WHERE IN THE HECK IS STEVE AWESOME!?
It’s kinda hard to have the epic return of a short lived but legendary tag team with one half of it missing in action.
We asked Rat Bastard.
Rat Bastard
Edgy Legend from the past
“The hell if I know where Steve is. I’m not his damn babysitter.”
Rat says with an annoyed tone. The camera pans back to see him sitting at a merch table full of Awesome Bastard returns t-shirts and memorabilia.
“But I swear if he ghosts me on this match I’m gonna be ticked off.”
He crosses his arms and scowls.
Our own Brent Sampson caught up with Zelda Knite. She seemed stressed and worried.
Zelda Knite
Last ever ncw world champion
“It just freaks me out you know…he left the hospital immediately after being stabbed so god damn much by Zoran Sainovic. He could be dead, just bled out somewhere in a ditch on the side of the road…”
She wipes the tears out of her tired puffy eyes. Brent Sampson sat nearby and tried to comfort her.
“There, there Zelda, I’m sure you don’t really think he’s dead.”
“I mean I hope he isn’t. I love him. But he is stupid and stubborn. So you never know.”
Brent wanted to argue but he soon realized he couldn’t. He just shrugged and nodded his head.
“I just feel helpless in all of this and Zoran is waltzing around here as XCrown Champion. Something needs to be done.”
Where would Steve be? Why isn’t he responding to those that care about him?
More as this story develops
There were pictures on the wall of a happy family. Many of them, set up in beautiful frames and organized in a fashionable style. In almost all of them there were only two people.
Mandi Matthews, Steve’s ex wife, and she’s posing with her daughter Lauren. In every single one, they looked incredibly happy and they showed off the adventures they’ve had together. There were even a couple pictures of Phil taped to the wall. Including one of them together before the XHF Rumble.
Phil poked his head into the room and he looked at Mandi hard at work I her office.
Phil: Come on sweetheart, it’s almost nine o’clock. Haven’t you done enough work for one night?
Mandi: I’m fine Phil. I just have a few more emails to take care of and then I’ll call it a night.
Phil: Well alright honey, but you know I worry.
Mandi smiled at her desk. It was nice to have a man in her life that cared enough to worry.
Mandi: That’s why you are great, Phil. Just give me twenty more minutes.
Phil nods and leaves the room. A few moments later Mandi’s phone rings. It was an unknown number. Fearing it could be a client, she decides to answer the call.
“Hello?”
“Mandi. It’s me.”
Mandi instantly knew the voice.
“Steve!? Is that you? Everyone has been looking for you. Where are you?”
“That doesn’t matter. I just want you to know that I’m going to fix things.”
Mandi grew confused and a bit frustrated by his cryptic words and slurred speech.
“What do you mean? Are you drunk?”
“….maybe.
“What!? Steve, damn it. I’m hanging up.”
“Waitwaitwaitwait…”
He stops her just before she pressed the button on her cell.
“Just listen for two seconds. All I’ve ever wanted to do was get my family back. You and Lauren are the ones that got away. What I envision my perfect paradise to be. That’s why I worked so hard to stay sober for two years until Zoran ruined it. I worked so hard to become someone you and Lauren could be proud of and want in your life, until Zoran ruined it. I may have fallen down to square one, but I’m going to fix everything. I promise.”
Mandi just rolled her eyes. She wasn’t exactly sure why she didn’t just hang up.
“Listen, Steve. There is nothing to fix. We are happy here. Happy with Phil. Without you.”
“….”
Silence on the other end. Maybe he hung up.
“Steve? Hello?”
“I’m going to make it right, Mandi. You’ll see.”
Click. The line went dead. Mandi just rolled her eyes and set the phone down. She wasn’t sure what Steve was doing and she didn’t care. She turned her phone off and turned her laptop off and left the office.
To spend time with her family.
Zelda Knite
Brave bitch
Zelda was scrolling through her phone when suddenly she spotted something on social media.
From the blog of Rumor Mills:
"Recent social media posts by Zoran Sainovic, have shown photographs of The XHF Devil attending a performance at the Theater Artur Azevedo. This indicates that Sainovic is currently located in Sao Luis, where REIGN is holding their Festa Toda a Noite em Sao Luis event in the coming days. Could REIGN see an X*Crown defence? Between Donzig, Merric, and von Krauss there are no end to potential challengers for Der Kommissar. The show is still advertising Steve Awesome in the main event, but no one who watched the Rumble could think that Steve was ready to wrestle again, if ever. There are a number of options - from the promise of Steve being there has piqued Sainovic's interest, or perhaps The Final Boss is planning to act as a substitute - teaming with Rat Bastard in the main event? One thing is clear - as nice as Sao Luis is this time of year, there is no way REIGN has a show this weekend without Zoran Sainovic involved."
“THAT'S IT!”
She gets up from her chair in the middle of Sampson answering a question. She rushes over to a special bag that she had in her closet. She reaches in and pulls out the nCw world championship.
“If he’s gonna be at REIGN then so am I.”
“Zelda what are you doing?”
Zelda takes a deep breath as she stares into the special championship that represented such an amazing five years of her wrestling career. She nods and flips the title on her shoulder.
“Something that should have been done a long time ago, Brent. I’m gonna take care of business.”
Zelda Knite pats the title confidently.
Fade.