Post by Deleted on May 31, 2022 12:05:39 GMT -5
“My god it’s a sad fucking state of affairs when I look at this Throne of Blood match at First Contact. A sad ass state indeed. You might be thinkin’ to yourself, Reckless Jack, why is this in such a sad state?
It’s pretty simple.
Never been a secret that I don't like anyone here in this company. Everyone here pisses me right off. Not that there isn’t too much that doesn’t piss me off, really. But I look at the three people I gotta face in this stupid Throne of Blood match and I gotta tell you, I’m disappointed.
Really disappointed
I haven’t been so disappointed since 2016. That’s a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Might be thinkin’ now why haven’t I gotten to my point. I gotta drum up the dramatics, people. Make you invested as to why I think this match is a lot of bullshit. Not because of the championship, just this Throne of Blood match disappoints me.
There’s no bucket full of pig’s blood to drop on Cross Recoba.
No bucket to drop on Liz Karlson’s bumpkin ass head.
And JUDITH won’t go all Carrie White because the bitch is too confident.
So, we gotta get this crown and go sit on a fucking chair? Really? That’s all there is to it? Just get the thing and go sit down?
Maybe I’m oversimplifying this Throne of Blood match for the National Openweight Championship, but REALLY?
Furthermore, you got a bunch of clubs and maces and armor to use? I don’t… I cannot figure out why anyone would want to wrestle in this match…
IF I WANT TO BE KING ARTHUR I’D GO TO A LARP PARTY!
Yeah, Reckless Jack knows what LARPing is. I read books and Wikipedia. But you call this a Throne of Blood match and you don’t give us swords, spears or anything I can stab a motherfucker with? That makes about as much sense as Blue Lives Matter.
But I see Cross, Lizzy and JUDITH and I wonder why it’s us four. I mean, we all lost in the tournament for the big prize, which I’m glad they lost because fuck them, but it sucks for me. I wanted to be at the top of this company.
And yet I ain’t won a damn thing here yet. I could be all vast conspiracy guy and say that I never actually lost to Cross and it was some big thing to get one of the most violent people in this company in a Throne of Blood match.
Could say my loss to Jamrocker B was nothing more than a tool to promote those two douchecanoes. I could do all of that. But you know what?
Even sometimes the baddest motherfuckers lose.
You think Michael Jordan won every game? You think Barry Bonds didn’t hit all them homers… okay that’s a bad example.
Since this shit over in Ireland, and they like soccer and shit over there in Ireland and the UK, even Liverpool can’t beat everyone. Them fools lost two leagues their fans wanted them to win. They’re still loved.
Just like me.
Okay, maybe I’m not loved but I’m respected enough. I got titles to my name. I wear a bitchin’ body suit and mask. I don’t need to be a millionaire fuckboi in Vegas, I don’t need to have an all capitalized name to look intimidating and sure as shit don’t need a dumb nickname like Brick Shithouse.
You know how great I am, folks? The goddamn Wu-Tang Clan once played me out live and edited Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nothin’ To Fuck Wit’ to Reckless Jack Ain’t Nothin’ to Fuck Wit’.
How many others in IPW can say the Wu-Tang Clan make them a special entrance!?
Now, you might be thinkin’ why does any of this matter to the Throne of Blood match. It matters because I say it matters. You think any of these three know what it feels like to get stabbed, to get your head put in a chain noose, to feel your body get so cut up and disfigured they try to do a skin graft surgery to hide the scars?
Nah.
These three don’t know what it’s like to feel blood coming out of your mouth when someone tries to make you swallow thumbtacks. Pretty sure they don’t know what it feels like to have someone use a staple gun on their groin. Being pancaked by barbed wire boards. Feeling a taser hit their skin.
I’ve done it all and smiled.
Maybe you have too. I don’t know. I’m not gonna waste my time by watching your matches outside of IPW. The three of you don’t mean shit to me when it’s about becoming the National Openweight Champion. To take that crown, sit on that throne and hold that title in your lap.
While titles mean nothing to me anymore, holding it so someone like Cross Recoba can’t add it to his collection of accolades and continue to line his coffers with money is great. Holding it so Liz Karlson can continue to be a huffy puffy lil’ bitch. Holding it so JUDITH can’t put it around her waist and have all the weird simps with their… hold on. Can’t believe I’m gonna say this.
All the lil’ simps with their ‘murder mommy’ fetish can’t rub one out seeing her hold the title will be forced to cry on their Twitter, Reddits and Discords.
I am here to cause misery, pain and anything else I feel like. If I don’t win, I don’t win and everyone can celebrate their dumbass favorite holding the championship.
So, in summation, fuck you.”
It’s pretty simple.
Never been a secret that I don't like anyone here in this company. Everyone here pisses me right off. Not that there isn’t too much that doesn’t piss me off, really. But I look at the three people I gotta face in this stupid Throne of Blood match and I gotta tell you, I’m disappointed.
Really disappointed
I haven’t been so disappointed since 2016. That’s a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Might be thinkin’ now why haven’t I gotten to my point. I gotta drum up the dramatics, people. Make you invested as to why I think this match is a lot of bullshit. Not because of the championship, just this Throne of Blood match disappoints me.
There’s no bucket full of pig’s blood to drop on Cross Recoba.
No bucket to drop on Liz Karlson’s bumpkin ass head.
And JUDITH won’t go all Carrie White because the bitch is too confident.
So, we gotta get this crown and go sit on a fucking chair? Really? That’s all there is to it? Just get the thing and go sit down?
Maybe I’m oversimplifying this Throne of Blood match for the National Openweight Championship, but REALLY?
Furthermore, you got a bunch of clubs and maces and armor to use? I don’t… I cannot figure out why anyone would want to wrestle in this match…
IF I WANT TO BE KING ARTHUR I’D GO TO A LARP PARTY!
Yeah, Reckless Jack knows what LARPing is. I read books and Wikipedia. But you call this a Throne of Blood match and you don’t give us swords, spears or anything I can stab a motherfucker with? That makes about as much sense as Blue Lives Matter.
But I see Cross, Lizzy and JUDITH and I wonder why it’s us four. I mean, we all lost in the tournament for the big prize, which I’m glad they lost because fuck them, but it sucks for me. I wanted to be at the top of this company.
And yet I ain’t won a damn thing here yet. I could be all vast conspiracy guy and say that I never actually lost to Cross and it was some big thing to get one of the most violent people in this company in a Throne of Blood match.
Could say my loss to Jamrocker B was nothing more than a tool to promote those two douchecanoes. I could do all of that. But you know what?
Even sometimes the baddest motherfuckers lose.
You think Michael Jordan won every game? You think Barry Bonds didn’t hit all them homers… okay that’s a bad example.
Since this shit over in Ireland, and they like soccer and shit over there in Ireland and the UK, even Liverpool can’t beat everyone. Them fools lost two leagues their fans wanted them to win. They’re still loved.
Just like me.
Okay, maybe I’m not loved but I’m respected enough. I got titles to my name. I wear a bitchin’ body suit and mask. I don’t need to be a millionaire fuckboi in Vegas, I don’t need to have an all capitalized name to look intimidating and sure as shit don’t need a dumb nickname like Brick Shithouse.
You know how great I am, folks? The goddamn Wu-Tang Clan once played me out live and edited Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nothin’ To Fuck Wit’ to Reckless Jack Ain’t Nothin’ to Fuck Wit’.
How many others in IPW can say the Wu-Tang Clan make them a special entrance!?
Now, you might be thinkin’ why does any of this matter to the Throne of Blood match. It matters because I say it matters. You think any of these three know what it feels like to get stabbed, to get your head put in a chain noose, to feel your body get so cut up and disfigured they try to do a skin graft surgery to hide the scars?
Nah.
These three don’t know what it’s like to feel blood coming out of your mouth when someone tries to make you swallow thumbtacks. Pretty sure they don’t know what it feels like to have someone use a staple gun on their groin. Being pancaked by barbed wire boards. Feeling a taser hit their skin.
I’ve done it all and smiled.
Maybe you have too. I don’t know. I’m not gonna waste my time by watching your matches outside of IPW. The three of you don’t mean shit to me when it’s about becoming the National Openweight Champion. To take that crown, sit on that throne and hold that title in your lap.
While titles mean nothing to me anymore, holding it so someone like Cross Recoba can’t add it to his collection of accolades and continue to line his coffers with money is great. Holding it so Liz Karlson can continue to be a huffy puffy lil’ bitch. Holding it so JUDITH can’t put it around her waist and have all the weird simps with their… hold on. Can’t believe I’m gonna say this.
All the lil’ simps with their ‘murder mommy’ fetish can’t rub one out seeing her hold the title will be forced to cry on their Twitter, Reddits and Discords.
I am here to cause misery, pain and anything else I feel like. If I don’t win, I don’t win and everyone can celebrate their dumbass favorite holding the championship.
So, in summation, fuck you.”