Post by Dave D-Flipz on Jun 12, 2022 22:26:46 GMT -5
<”Time is of the essence”>
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, Mx. Computer thing, but I’m chained here to this very terminal. Not like I’m going to be going anywhere anytime soon.
<”… Analyzing … You are correct. Perhaps it is I who should go somewhere then. Insert the dongle into the terminal, please.”>
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: WHOA lady, listen, I may be a single, highly desirable bachelor of EVIL but I have my standards and I … oh … OH you meant the … heh, the Bluetooth transmitter. Yeah. I should have … you know what let’s just pretend like you didn’t hear that.
<”I have no ears”>
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: You are a true champion, computer being.
<”Transmitting… trans-*static*”>
*Dr. Doofenshmirtz sits on the floor of the dungeon as his terminal stops functioning. He looks around, alone. He hears the sound of water dripping. He sighs*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: It’s just like my last twenty birthday parties.
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: BLAST IT ALL! Why!? How CAR allowed do this to Rd. Food!?
*We cut to Rd.Food hovering in his mobile platform of evil inside the subbasement of his evil lair. He is shouting to the two men sitting at the table building Lego minions and vehicles for the overlord of evil. The pudgier one with the epic moustache looks up with a twisted look in his eyes.*
Ovi: While I thoroughly enjoy seeing you in such … ABJECT AGONY … for all you are doing to us … it concerns me that the only time you have been angry is when something involves us.
*Ovi Kintobor posits his thoughts to the demented doppelDoof. Ian Brundle looks up as well from his LEGO teleportation chambers.*
Ian: I assume this has to do, uh, with the, uh … June race?
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: YES! The blasted entirety of the CAR committee, who I assume number in the thousands, decide we need 2 racers in car!
Ian: Ah ahaha, ha! You will need to release us. Yes, that is chaos!
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: NO! I NOT RELEASE YOU! I find other way.
*Just then a rattling alerts the arcane overlord to a presence in the room. Chains have moved from the whoosh of air moving at high speed.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: WHO THERE?! I DESTROY!
Ovi: *grumbling* Oh I know that blue whoosh all too well.
Sonic: Well if this isn’t just the saddest chili dog joint in the entire tri-state area, then I dunno what is! How’d you get yourself stuck in here Ro-butt-nik!?
Ovi: IT’S DOCTOR ROB-I mean –KINTOBOR YOU INSOLENT HEDGEHOG!!!! GGAAAAAAAAHHHH!
Ian: Uh … why can’t we see you?
Sonic: Oh that’s easy … you’re too slow!
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Hmm .. quite.
*Rd. Food throws a lever and a hum covers the entire lab. Sonic immediately phases into view as he is reduced to a super slow snail pace.*
Sonic: Whooooooooooooa… wwwwhhhhhhhaaaaaat? Nooooooooooooot cooooooooooool duuuuuuuuuuuudddddeeeee.
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Yes Yes, gravity well. You not run now. What good blue squirrel do anyway?
*Sonic leans towards Ovi and whispers*
Sonic: Pretty effective distraction actually.
Ovi: You could have saved us BEFORE mouthing off.
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Oh … oh I have idea! You, blue rat. You be the second in the car so I can keep these two here! Yes, me genius. You never get back in here. Me electrically charge room and give you opposite charge.
*He zaps Sonic with another beam then turns off the hum. Sonic laughs and taps his foot. As he tries to run at Rd. Food, another button is pressed and a static charge builds and Sonic gets launched out of the lab and through the wall back outside where he sails towards the DEI building.*
Ian: Oh … joy. Um … can we um … skip the gloating and just keep building.
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: You no fun, I go gloat to Doof.
*He zips out of the large door and up to the upper lab where Doof is chained up alone, we hear a voice echo down the stairs*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh boy, just you. My lookalike with more success. Now it’s just like my BACHELOR party … *sigh*
*After a few moments we see a rope dangle from the ceiling and down slides a platypus in a fedora. He looks around and makes sure the coast is clear. He leaps over to the two men and unchains them.*
Agent P: *platypus noises*
Ian: … I uh … I don’t speak … how chaotic this whole situation uh … turned out to be.
Agent P: *louder more urgent platypus clicking*
Ovi: He wants us to sabotage the lab and make sure it cannot funnel any eldritch energies. Maybe program in a self-destruct. He’s going to save Doof.
*Ian just looks at him quizzically*
Ovi: My entire regime is over a planet of anthropomorphic animals, you learn to understand them if you want to effectively crush the resistance!
Ian: … Uh huh … are there-?
Ovi: I DON’T KNOW IF THERE ARE ANY FURRY WAIFUS STOP ASKING ME!
*We cut to the outside of a familiar looking compound. It is the base of operations of the Bad to the Bone team! It is quaint. We can faintly hear a squabble about tar and mcnuggets. Suddenly a thud. Landing out of the sky is a wingaling dragon with one beefy arm out the back of his neck there. The Burninator! He smirks and huffs smoke. He summons his eldritch energies … and some standard dragon power. And BLASTS AT THE GARAGE WITH A MONSTROUS FIRE BLAST IN THE SHAPE OF THE KANJI FOR THE WORD “BIG” (pokemon fans represent).*
Burninator: FWAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
*The blast suddenly stops moving and slowly shrinks … forming the kanji for medium, then small, then poofing out of existence. The Burninator looks miffed at his own impotence. He rears back and blasts again. A stream of fire! … Which seems to get diverted. It splits in the middle and launches to the left and right. The neighbors houses alight but not the BttB HQ.*
Burninator: GRAHH!??? RAAAWR RAGH RAWWWR!
*He lifts off into the sky and begins a DBZ worthy volley of energy blasts from his maw, smoke blasting from his nostrils in response to the exertion.*
Burninator: BWAH HAH HAH HAH!
*In a shot that would make Bowser and Vegeta gush in admiration, the dragon monster watches as the destruction … doesn’t happen. A pink electricity orb appears in the sky next to the blasts and all the fire begins to bind to it forming a model of the atom style show with fire streams circling the central nucleus … inside the protective power orb? Phroooaggh the Relentless. He extinguishes the flames and glares through his metal viser and mouth covering.*
Phroooaggh: Not today Creature. I shall send you as a message to all of R’lyeh. The old ones are over. The new ones are here. And I will save this piece from being demonetized by preventing you from breaking the two rules! Attacking another team, and killing on camera!
Burninator: Rah?
*The fourth wall break goes over the head of the dragon*
Phroooaggh: Now you fall to me. Your power will be mine!
Burninator: RAH HAH HAH RAH RAH HAH HAH!
*Phroooaggh lowers his staff, pointing the ancient rune (the Z) at the monster. The two dash at each other in midair and begin to melee brawl over the skies of the BttB team base.*
“DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATED!!”
*A blue blur comes from out of nowhere and crash lands in the garage of the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated building. The Evil Horrible Driver, Billy Lastname jumps nearly out of his evil labcoat. He peers over the Chemistruckinator to see a blue hedgehog wearing gloves and hightops, smoking from the friction of travel on the ground. The hedgehog leaps to his feet and brushes himself off.*
Billy: Uh … hello?
Sonic: Hey man, looks like I’ve got shotgun!
*The Chemistruckinator dings as its onboard computer hums to life. Billy leaps into the driver's seat and looks at the instrument panel*
<"William. I am here to help">
*A rumble overhead attracts their attention as they peer out the window to see a red skinned metal covered man and a dragon doing battle in the sky sending bolts of fire and pink lightning all over the city, no casualties. They appear to be flying towards the HQ of the Esoteric Order of Driving …*
1. Who is the extra person in your vehicle that will grab the idol from the stand or other racers?
Sonic: Yo! That’d be me! Sonic the Hedgehog! Don’t all applaud at once!
Billy: Ugh, you sound like Urkel …
2. How will you take the idol back from someone else in a moving vehicle?
Sonic: Superspeed man! They’re too slow!
Billy: It’s not the worst strategy, just zip in and steal it from right under their noses then bolt back to the chemistruckinator.
3. How does your driver look covered in feathers?
Billy: Probably no worse than with an ass to make Kim Kardashian envious …
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: NEW GOLDEN CROTCHBLING!!!!
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Agent P: *sad platypus noises*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, Mx. Computer thing, but I’m chained here to this very terminal. Not like I’m going to be going anywhere anytime soon.
<”… Analyzing … You are correct. Perhaps it is I who should go somewhere then. Insert the dongle into the terminal, please.”>
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: WHOA lady, listen, I may be a single, highly desirable bachelor of EVIL but I have my standards and I … oh … OH you meant the … heh, the Bluetooth transmitter. Yeah. I should have … you know what let’s just pretend like you didn’t hear that.
<”I have no ears”>
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: You are a true champion, computer being.
<”Transmitting… trans-*static*”>
*Dr. Doofenshmirtz sits on the floor of the dungeon as his terminal stops functioning. He looks around, alone. He hears the sound of water dripping. He sighs*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: It’s just like my last twenty birthday parties.
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: BLAST IT ALL! Why!? How CAR allowed do this to Rd. Food!?
*We cut to Rd.Food hovering in his mobile platform of evil inside the subbasement of his evil lair. He is shouting to the two men sitting at the table building Lego minions and vehicles for the overlord of evil. The pudgier one with the epic moustache looks up with a twisted look in his eyes.*
Ovi: While I thoroughly enjoy seeing you in such … ABJECT AGONY … for all you are doing to us … it concerns me that the only time you have been angry is when something involves us.
*Ovi Kintobor posits his thoughts to the demented doppelDoof. Ian Brundle looks up as well from his LEGO teleportation chambers.*
Ian: I assume this has to do, uh, with the, uh … June race?
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: YES! The blasted entirety of the CAR committee, who I assume number in the thousands, decide we need 2 racers in car!
Ian: Ah ahaha, ha! You will need to release us. Yes, that is chaos!
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: NO! I NOT RELEASE YOU! I find other way.
*Just then a rattling alerts the arcane overlord to a presence in the room. Chains have moved from the whoosh of air moving at high speed.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: WHO THERE?! I DESTROY!
Ovi: *grumbling* Oh I know that blue whoosh all too well.
Sonic: Well if this isn’t just the saddest chili dog joint in the entire tri-state area, then I dunno what is! How’d you get yourself stuck in here Ro-butt-nik!?
Ovi: IT’S DOCTOR ROB-I mean –KINTOBOR YOU INSOLENT HEDGEHOG!!!! GGAAAAAAAAHHHH!
Ian: Uh … why can’t we see you?
Sonic: Oh that’s easy … you’re too slow!
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Hmm .. quite.
*Rd. Food throws a lever and a hum covers the entire lab. Sonic immediately phases into view as he is reduced to a super slow snail pace.*
Sonic: Whooooooooooooa… wwwwhhhhhhhaaaaaat? Nooooooooooooot cooooooooooool duuuuuuuuuuuudddddeeeee.
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Yes Yes, gravity well. You not run now. What good blue squirrel do anyway?
*Sonic leans towards Ovi and whispers*
Sonic: Pretty effective distraction actually.
Ovi: You could have saved us BEFORE mouthing off.
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Oh … oh I have idea! You, blue rat. You be the second in the car so I can keep these two here! Yes, me genius. You never get back in here. Me electrically charge room and give you opposite charge.
*He zaps Sonic with another beam then turns off the hum. Sonic laughs and taps his foot. As he tries to run at Rd. Food, another button is pressed and a static charge builds and Sonic gets launched out of the lab and through the wall back outside where he sails towards the DEI building.*
Ian: Oh … joy. Um … can we um … skip the gloating and just keep building.
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: You no fun, I go gloat to Doof.
*He zips out of the large door and up to the upper lab where Doof is chained up alone, we hear a voice echo down the stairs*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh boy, just you. My lookalike with more success. Now it’s just like my BACHELOR party … *sigh*
*After a few moments we see a rope dangle from the ceiling and down slides a platypus in a fedora. He looks around and makes sure the coast is clear. He leaps over to the two men and unchains them.*
Agent P: *platypus noises*
Ian: … I uh … I don’t speak … how chaotic this whole situation uh … turned out to be.
Agent P: *louder more urgent platypus clicking*
Ovi: He wants us to sabotage the lab and make sure it cannot funnel any eldritch energies. Maybe program in a self-destruct. He’s going to save Doof.
*Ian just looks at him quizzically*
Ovi: My entire regime is over a planet of anthropomorphic animals, you learn to understand them if you want to effectively crush the resistance!
Ian: … Uh huh … are there-?
Ovi: I DON’T KNOW IF THERE ARE ANY FURRY WAIFUS STOP ASKING ME!
*We cut to the outside of a familiar looking compound. It is the base of operations of the Bad to the Bone team! It is quaint. We can faintly hear a squabble about tar and mcnuggets. Suddenly a thud. Landing out of the sky is a wingaling dragon with one beefy arm out the back of his neck there. The Burninator! He smirks and huffs smoke. He summons his eldritch energies … and some standard dragon power. And BLASTS AT THE GARAGE WITH A MONSTROUS FIRE BLAST IN THE SHAPE OF THE KANJI FOR THE WORD “BIG” (pokemon fans represent).*
Burninator: FWAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
*The blast suddenly stops moving and slowly shrinks … forming the kanji for medium, then small, then poofing out of existence. The Burninator looks miffed at his own impotence. He rears back and blasts again. A stream of fire! … Which seems to get diverted. It splits in the middle and launches to the left and right. The neighbors houses alight but not the BttB HQ.*
Burninator: GRAHH!??? RAAAWR RAGH RAWWWR!
*He lifts off into the sky and begins a DBZ worthy volley of energy blasts from his maw, smoke blasting from his nostrils in response to the exertion.*
Burninator: BWAH HAH HAH HAH!
*In a shot that would make Bowser and Vegeta gush in admiration, the dragon monster watches as the destruction … doesn’t happen. A pink electricity orb appears in the sky next to the blasts and all the fire begins to bind to it forming a model of the atom style show with fire streams circling the central nucleus … inside the protective power orb? Phroooaggh the Relentless. He extinguishes the flames and glares through his metal viser and mouth covering.*
Phroooaggh: Not today Creature. I shall send you as a message to all of R’lyeh. The old ones are over. The new ones are here. And I will save this piece from being demonetized by preventing you from breaking the two rules! Attacking another team, and killing on camera!
Burninator: Rah?
*The fourth wall break goes over the head of the dragon*
Phroooaggh: Now you fall to me. Your power will be mine!
Burninator: RAH HAH HAH RAH RAH HAH HAH!
*Phroooaggh lowers his staff, pointing the ancient rune (the Z) at the monster. The two dash at each other in midair and begin to melee brawl over the skies of the BttB team base.*
“DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATED!!”
*A blue blur comes from out of nowhere and crash lands in the garage of the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated building. The Evil Horrible Driver, Billy Lastname jumps nearly out of his evil labcoat. He peers over the Chemistruckinator to see a blue hedgehog wearing gloves and hightops, smoking from the friction of travel on the ground. The hedgehog leaps to his feet and brushes himself off.*
Billy: Uh … hello?
Sonic: Hey man, looks like I’ve got shotgun!
*The Chemistruckinator dings as its onboard computer hums to life. Billy leaps into the driver's seat and looks at the instrument panel*
<"William. I am here to help">
*A rumble overhead attracts their attention as they peer out the window to see a red skinned metal covered man and a dragon doing battle in the sky sending bolts of fire and pink lightning all over the city, no casualties. They appear to be flying towards the HQ of the Esoteric Order of Driving …*
1. Who is the extra person in your vehicle that will grab the idol from the stand or other racers?
Sonic: Yo! That’d be me! Sonic the Hedgehog! Don’t all applaud at once!
Billy: Ugh, you sound like Urkel …
2. How will you take the idol back from someone else in a moving vehicle?
Sonic: Superspeed man! They’re too slow!
Billy: It’s not the worst strategy, just zip in and steal it from right under their noses then bolt back to the chemistruckinator.
3. How does your driver look covered in feathers?
Billy: Probably no worse than with an ass to make Kim Kardashian envious …
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: NEW GOLDEN CROTCHBLING!!!!
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Agent P: *sad platypus noises*
