Substance Abuse (Ascendancy XXXVIII)

[Bugz?]

"They say when an animal's had a taste of human blood ya' gotta' put it down. Somethin' about how once it ain't scared of people no more it's too dangerous to leave it alone 'cause it'll want more."

Bugz? speaks from off screen, the camera focused on a graffiti covered wall in The Squat.

"I dunno' a whole lot about nature and all that shit, but I do know this; I got what they call an addictive personality. At first I thought that shit sounded real cool 'cause I thought it meant people can't get enough of me, but then they told me it meant somethin' else. Once I get a taste fer somethin' it's real, real hard for me to not want more. That was the first thing I learned that day. Another thing I learned that day is treatment centers fuckin' suck and I ain't never goin' back to one."

The rabbit slowly walks into frame, a bit of dried blood staining the fur of his mask around the mouth.

"But that's not here or there or whateva'. The thing I'm tryin' to get to is this; I got a little taste of blood the other week. And that ain't nothin' new. Not the first time, won't be the last. What's different is that this time, I was hungry. I was real fuckin' hungry. And I ain't full yet, ya' feel me? If ya' thought what I did ta Cheez was bad, ya' ain't seen shit."

Bugz? extends his arms toward the camera palms up, exposing his forearms.

"Y'know the difference between me and Beau Traywick? I ain't scared of The Needle. We go way back. So if ya' wanna' put this bunny down ya' better do that flippy thing ya' do instead, 'cause these arms have seen worse. But that ain't gonna' be a problem, 'cause I'm gonna' drop ya' on yer fuckin' face. I ain't done yet. I ain't done feelin' shitty, and I ain't done takin' it out on other people. Another thing they told me in the treatment center is if ya' don't heal from what hurt ya', you'll bleed on people who didn't cut ya'."

Bloodshot green eyes stare with unusual focus into the camera as Bugz? continues to speak.

"I need help bad, Trixie. I'm still bleedin'. I never stopped bleedin'. And the only thing that can get me through this is if I make you bleed too. I think they call that the cycle of abuse or somethin'. I'm beggin' ya, Trixie..."

Bugz? sinks to his knees, clasping his hands together as he looks up into the camera; his voice is full of pain, but a smile finds its way onto his face.

"Help me. Beat me. Get me outta' this tournament. It's too late for you; win or lose, I'm gonna' hurt ya' real bad. But it's not too late for whoever comes next. You can save 'em from what's about to happen to you. Break the cycle. Please."