GFC Round 1 FML Reaction
Aug 6, 2022 14:13:25 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Venom 🕷, and 2 more like this
Post by flo on Aug 6, 2022 14:13:25 GMT -5
Post-Match.
A press conference with the future GUNS Fight Club, Visual Kai, and Parade of 1000 Demons champion... he just has to avoid teaming with Adrien Cochrane.
The Summer of Your Motherlovin' Florida Man continues.
Sitting at a table, the gator takes time out of his busy post-fight ritual of paying 40K to his bookies (damn Globetrotters), to address the Florida Nation. He has also picked up the diseased alleycat he has mistaken for his tag partner, CHARLES. The deranged beast is tied into a baby carrier strapped to Flo's chest. Scratch city.
Florida Man:
Being solely responsible for maintaining the status quo is a strange new world for this sizzlingly suave Floridian... sucks to be all them other dudes that cared about winning during the prelims. What say you, Charles?
NOT Cool:
Hiiiiiiiiiiiis.
Florida Man:
We CAME.
NOT Cool:
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiis.
Florida Man:
We SAW.
NOT Cool:
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis.
Florida Man:
We KICKED YOUR ASS!
The Man from Florida slams a bloody fist on the table.
Florida Man:
I told you, Randy. I told you! WhatchagonnadowhenAMERICANPUSSYrunsWILDonYOU? Randy - sink or swim. Glug! Glug! You were KNEE DEEP in AMERICAN PUSSY, and DROWNED! You might think that'll make you popular with the ladies, but news flash - they only got eyes for The Man from Florida.
Thanks to crystal meth, Florida Man composes himself.
Florida Man:
Needless to say, after Adrien Cochrane cost me Cruiserfest - it was nice to knock my rival the fuck out.
A quiet hush falls over the conference, as the reporters contemplate Randy Angel being someone's rival.
Florida Man:
....he's a tag specialist.
The fight reporters nod in understanding, sympathizing that Florida Man has to justify his rival.
Florida Man:
Up next I gots Steve Awesome. And I knows what y'all are thinkin' "does Florida Man have the balls to put the X*Crown he won off Dylan Black on the line." Steve, you might be inclined to win back your crown....... what the hell are you smoking, and can you hook me up? I don't know how you got past Diamond... Jackie was probably still hurt from my train, that's the only thing that makes sense. Well you want a shot, bring it, Steve-O. When the dust clears, you will see that your boy FLO is king of the damn world.... of Florida.
Nodding politely, Florida Man rises from the press conference.
He is not wearing pants.
A press conference with the future GUNS Fight Club, Visual Kai, and Parade of 1000 Demons champion... he just has to avoid teaming with Adrien Cochrane.
The Summer of Your Motherlovin' Florida Man continues.
Sitting at a table, the gator takes time out of his busy post-fight ritual of paying 40K to his bookies (damn Globetrotters), to address the Florida Nation. He has also picked up the diseased alleycat he has mistaken for his tag partner, CHARLES. The deranged beast is tied into a baby carrier strapped to Flo's chest. Scratch city.
Florida Man:
Being solely responsible for maintaining the status quo is a strange new world for this sizzlingly suave Floridian... sucks to be all them other dudes that cared about winning during the prelims. What say you, Charles?
NOT Cool:
Hiiiiiiiiiiiis.
Florida Man:
We CAME.
NOT Cool:
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiis.
Florida Man:
We SAW.
NOT Cool:
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis.
Florida Man:
We KICKED YOUR ASS!
The Man from Florida slams a bloody fist on the table.
Florida Man:
I told you, Randy. I told you! WhatchagonnadowhenAMERICANPUSSYrunsWILDonYOU? Randy - sink or swim. Glug! Glug! You were KNEE DEEP in AMERICAN PUSSY, and DROWNED! You might think that'll make you popular with the ladies, but news flash - they only got eyes for The Man from Florida.
Thanks to crystal meth, Florida Man composes himself.
Florida Man:
Needless to say, after Adrien Cochrane cost me Cruiserfest - it was nice to knock my rival the fuck out.
A quiet hush falls over the conference, as the reporters contemplate Randy Angel being someone's rival.
Florida Man:
....he's a tag specialist.
The fight reporters nod in understanding, sympathizing that Florida Man has to justify his rival.
Florida Man:
Up next I gots Steve Awesome. And I knows what y'all are thinkin' "does Florida Man have the balls to put the X*Crown he won off Dylan Black on the line." Steve, you might be inclined to win back your crown....... what the hell are you smoking, and can you hook me up? I don't know how you got past Diamond... Jackie was probably still hurt from my train, that's the only thing that makes sense. Well you want a shot, bring it, Steve-O. When the dust clears, you will see that your boy FLO is king of the damn world.... of Florida.
Nodding politely, Florida Man rises from the press conference.
He is not wearing pants.