Post by Steve Awesome on Aug 9, 2022 2:10:46 GMT -5
“Don’t you think we could change the name?”
“It’s the perfect name, Steve. See, it’s always summer of this and summer of that. But summer is over! This is going to be your season!”
“Trust us. We’re producers.”
*sigh*
“It’s the perfect name, Steve. See, it’s always summer of this and summer of that. But summer is over! This is going to be your season!”
“Trust us. We’re producers.”
*sigh*
“So what’s the deal between you and this chain smoking bimbo, EVK? Did you two bang or something?”
“HA! SHE WISHES!”
Fade into a sports bar. One that sucks but Steve also gets money to say it’s good on the internet. Let’s call it OrangeWasps. Rat sips a beer and The XCrown Champion stabs his lemon deep beneath the ice in his water.
“From the minute she locked eyes on me, she wanted to have my babies. She used to stalk me. I’d see her standing across the street when I’d take the garbage to the curb. Just puffing away at her stupid cigarette.”
Steve swirls his drink around.
“She did make me think I was into bondage for a month, which is really a great mind game when you really think about it, oh and there was that one time she drugged me and tried to sexually assault me on live television but luckily I was saved by a man whose name was only one letter.”
Rat shakes his beer in confusion.
“How many of these have I had…?”
“None of that matters. All that really matters is that I curved that hoe worse than charisma ever did and now she’s all pissed off and bitchy about it.”
Steve sips his water.
“Women. Amiright?”
Rat clinks his beer bottle against Steve’s glass of water.
“I’m just surprised you said no. I used to see you run through groupies like there was no tomorrow. Haha…imagine being the only woman in the world rejected by Steve Awesome.”
Steve laughs.
“Well, she’s ugly and gross and smokey. She smells like an ashtray and desperation. Plus I don’t need a third baby mama running around with her hand out like “alimony “dahhhhling” and lastly and most importantly I have Zelda.”
He suddenly realized that the last part was wrong and quickly tried to correct it.
“Or…had…or something whatever nevermind…”
Steve looks away to try and pretend he wasn’t hurt and Rat picks up on the vibe.
“Zelda still hasn’t returned your calls or texts?”
Steve shakes his. Rat just shrugs.
“Then motherfucker, your SINGLE!”
Steve tries to argue but Ratty is just a little too excited.
“Let’s go to the titty bar. Just like old times. Right after this next beer, we will go tear it up, Steveo.”
All Steve could think about was how much he missed Zelda. He didn’t have much hope in it but he decided to text her one last time. “I miss you. I love you. I didn’t do what they said I did.”
He hit send and hoped maybe this would finally be the thing that gets her to respond.
He put his phone away and sighed.
He could imagine being with anyone other than Zelda.
…..he still will go to the titty bar tho.
STEVE AWESOME
XCROWN CHAMPION
He holds up a singular version of the XCrown Championship high above his head.
“Daddy’s Home, bitches.”
He said with a wink and a smirk.
“You know, when I first debuted in REIGN I got destroyed by Zoran Sainovic. At that moment, as I was laying in a pool of my blood, clinging to life, I didn’t think it would ever lead to something like this…”
He pats the XCrown Title.
“But then I go and fight and I bring the XCrown Title back home to REIGN where it belongs. I’m the reason why REIGN is the top of the network. I'M the reason why REIGN is must see action every month. The Face of the Franchise….not some dipshit king of the world…”
He shakes his head.
“But the champs work is never over.”
He draped the title over his shoulder.
“My second XCrown championship defense is set and it’s going to sound a little cliche but this defense is going to be something you are not going to miss and I’ll tell you why..”
“…if Overheated where I made Zoran confess his darkest secret was the big shocking upset victory…
“…Night of Champions where I outlasted seven other men and retained my championship was cementing my legacy…
“…then my XCrown title defense in Tanzania, The Face of the Franchise brings the title home and in front of a sold out blood thirsty REIGN crowd…”
Steve glares into the camera. A wild smirk started to curve at the corner of his mouth.
“…I set a motherfuckin example!”
He nods.
“I set an example for my opponent in Tanzania and I set an example for every challenger that steps up afterward.”
“I have a death grip on this championship now!”
“And I’m going to leave my opponent beat down, limp and bloodied but around to prove it and let them tell the others what it’s like getting their ass kicked by The Face of the Franchise.”
Steve pats himself on the chest and smirks.
“And that of course…brings me to Esmeralda Von Krauss.”
He chuckled a bit.
“My former stalker.”
He shrugs.
“Look at you now. You collected all the fine China and now you are the REIGN King of the World. Couldn’t help but notice only my title is on the line but whatever, Halll right…”
He gives half a thumbs up.
“I’m sure you’re probably really feeling yourself right now EVK but I hate to break it to ya “dahling” but beating up various members of Donzig-Gun all summer doesn’t make you a star…..if it did, more people might actually care about the Wrestle:UK boys.
He shrugs.
“When that bell rings in Tanzania it’s Times Up, for you EVK. I’m going to whip your ass and entertain allllll the masses in the Old Fort in Stone town! I’m going to literally carve out a new path through the stone with your face. I’m going to leave you beaten and exposed.
The REIGN king of the world, defeated.
The king sits on a throne of lies.
At the end of the day, after I whip her scrawny ass for stalking me, after I show that her little assassin blades are nothing after what I went through with Zoran.
I’m going to prove what everyone already knows.
EVK is only the king because Rat and DT just got here and I was busy winning the XCrown Title.
He smirks.
I’m going to make an example out of you EVK.
He nods his head.
“So I hope all that shit talking you like to do is even remotely true. I want you to bring the King of the World to Tanzania.
I want you to bring all those world class assassin skills you love to brag about.
All the cheating and the weapons.
Bring “Armand Von Krauss”
He does the spooky fingers.
“Bring every wise guy you know…”
He shrugs.
“Bring the entire underbelly of organized crime, EVK.
“Bring, do, say whatever it is that you think will help you,
-and trust me, I’m not underestimating you, I’m just giving myself the credit I deserve-
Bring whatever you need EVK, because it STILL won’t be enough after the bell rings.
I’m going to retain my XCrown Championship and make the next challenger think twice.
I’m going to prove that you never had the “ovaries” to carry my seed.
He smirks.
“Let alone, keep up with the champ in the ring.”
“At Tanzania, it will be TIMES UP for you EVK.
Because when that bell rings I'm gonna whip your
Extra White
Not too Bright
Stupid Shoes
Dumb Moves
No Boobs
Havin ass in front of the world.
Then EVK will finally know what it’s like
To get fucked
By Steve Awesome.
Suck it.
~
Rat is halfway through his last beer.
“ Tell you what, if you don’t want her, send that EVK broad this way. Old Ratty will drop a seed in her she won’t ever forget.”
Ratty licks his lips. Perhaps he’d been thinking of the titty bar for too long.
~
Steve stops to imagine how a Rat/EVK combination would turn out.
A cold shudder runs down Steve’s spine.
“Steve? Yo, Steve. Snap out of it we got trouble.”
Steve snaps back into focus and realizes there is an angry mob glaring at him.
“ADULTER! HOMEWRECKER! Uhhh RUINER OF MANDIS LIFE!”
They all look at the third guy and he just shrugs.
Steve looks at Rat.
“Okay man, just hang your head low and stay close and-“
He stops to laugh at himself.
“Listen to me, explaining angry mobs to Rat Bastard ha ha…”
Rat finished his beer.
“I like to try and spit on as many protesters as I can on my way out.”
Steve’s jaw drops.
“This is the sage wisdom I need in my life…”
The Awesome Bastards start hawking up phlegm as the scene fades out.