Where Da Blood Flows

[Grimgor Ironhide]

*SMASH!*

*CRASH!*

The sound of thrown furniture and shattering glass is heard from one of the locker rooms the Lakefront Arena, along to what sounds like a bestial howl.

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!”

*THUMP!*

Sensing impending danger, the camera crew makes to leave, but with a violent thud, the locker room slams open, and Grimgor Ironhide thunders out, very much like a bull on the charge.

“OI! LOOK OVER ‘ERE ALREADY, YA GITZ!!!”

The former Southern States Champion fixes his eyes on the camera, freezing it in place.

“WELL ‘OW DO YA FINK OI AM YA ‘UMIE RUNTS!? NOT ONLY I AIN’T GET DA BLOOMIN’ ‘AT, NOW DAT SPARKLY GIT TOOK ME GUBBINZ!”

AN’ NOW I GOTZ DA SPIKY GIT AGAIN. WELL, ZOG IT! WELL OI AIN’T GOT NO TIME TA BE WASTIN’ ‘ERE WIV DA BLOOD GOD TALK AGAIN!”

This time, Grimgor kicks the floor, the feral snarl still plastered on his face.

“‘Cause see, dere’s fingz Oi’z got ta do. Oi’z AIN’T stoppin’ until Oi’z get back dem Southern States Gubbinz, and I AIN’T gonna let no SPIKY GIT fink ‘ez gonna get da best out of GRIMGOR! ‘Cause Oi AIN’T gone through two defenses wiv me gubbinz an’ da representayshun of dis ‘ere company ta let it all end ‘ere!

And Oi sez dis, ‘cause Oi knowz ‘ow ya ‘umie GITZ work AAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL too well. When Oi’z won da Southern States gubbinz, Oi’z EARNED da roight ta do it by STOMPIN’ everywun dat got near. Oi’z seek da BIGGEST AND DA STRONGEST gitz ta foight ‘cause dat’s wot a roight proppa ORC is s’pposed ta do. Ain’t no worth in stompin’ da weak - even if dey deserve ta get stomped anyway.

An’ thru all dat, Oi’z know wot ya finkin’, Spiky boy. Yooz finkin’ dat Grimgor is WEAK, an’ deserves ta get KRUMPED, and Oi sez, WELL NOTHIN’ DOIN’! Oi’z already STOMPED ya last time, an’ now dat Oi lost twice, Oi ain’t in NO MOOD ta let yer scavengin’ arse nip at me heels. ‘Cause ROIGHT NOW, Oi’z gotta get back me gubbinz, an’ da road to dat starts wiv yooz.”

Grimgor points right at the camera, snorting heavily before resuming his speech.

“So do a favor ta everywun of deze gitz dat tune in ta see da show, and spare dem da zoggin’ talks about fire an’ blood an’ deff. Ain’t like yooz gone any better since da last time Oi’z krumped ya, an’ dat was when Oi wuz in a good mood. Now Oi’z roight ANGRY, an’ dat means Oi’z gonna make sure not only dat you don’t get up, but dis time Oi’z gonna GRIND YER BONES TA DUST!

And den, fer good measure, Oi’z gonna jump up and down on da bitz dat are left, ‘cause Oi’z like doin’ a ROIGHT PROPPA JOB! But Oi’z gonna save da teef Oi knocks out of ya ugly mug. Dey ain’t worth as much as an Orc’s, but dey’z gonna buy me sumfing ta eat.”

A humorless chuckle escapes Grimgor’s throat, before his face turns to stone once more.

“HA! Dat was roight funny, but back ta da point. See, spiky git, dere’z MANY diff’rences between you an’ I, but UNLIKE yer sorry arse, Oi AIN’T “‘ave been” anyfing. Oi’z DA ONCE AN’ FUTURE GIT, an Oi’z da BIGGEST AND DA STRONGEST in da Nekst Level roster.

Yooz lookin’ ta make a comeback, but Oi’z gonna make me way to da VERY top of da zoggin’ chain, JUST like Oi’z done last time, an’ Oi’z gonna get dere in da ONLY way dat’s proppa: By KRUMPIN’ any gitz dat get in da way, just like YOU!”

Grimgor clenches his fist as he peels back his canines - like a beast ready to pounce on its prey.

“OI’Z SED ENUFF ALREADY! Time ta get back ta work, an’ to show deze gitz wot ‘appens when you knock down an Orc. It’s gonna be JUST wot ya gitz are payin’ ta see, an’ just wot dis Spiky boy wants ta do - ‘ez gonna SHED BLOOD, an’ dat’s gonna please ‘is Blood God, ‘cause yooz know - ‘e don’t care from who da blood flows - only dat it FLOWS.

An’ Spiky boy’s blood’s just good enuff!

Get ready ya Spiky Git, ‘cause Oi’z gonna make sure yooz please your Blood God roight proppa - when YER SKULL gets added ta ‘is throne!”

And so, DA ALPHA ORC lets out his unmistakable cry for battle…

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!"

Fade to black.

750 words (wordcounter.net)