Stacked Deck | Jamrockers RP
Aug 25, 2022 7:25:42 GMT -5
Venom đ·, Jack Diamond, and 2 more like this
Post by Drag on Aug 25, 2022 7:25:42 GMT -5
Three
TwoâŠ
THIS ON?!
âWhen youâre preppinâ for the âfinal bossâ, ya gotta stack the deck a lil.â
âIn our case, the whole gameâs been rigged from the start.â
âWhich means ya gotta do whatever it takes, by any means necessary, to turn it around! So, are L Rey and Donât Mess With Zohan willing to do that? Whatever it takes? Any means necessary? And I ainât just talkinâ about stabbinâ a guy!â
âWe signed a couple waivers before the show, yâknow, let IPW know about our âspecial attiresâ for the show.â
âBut, unfortunately for Reymundo and Zuran-Zuran, that ainât even close to the peak of the hill those fuckers gotta climb.â
âWe got some aces up our sleeve. Since weâre feeling generous, weâll place another down on the table for ya.â
âSince day numero uno, thatâs number one for the IDIOTS out there, weâve had a CONSORTIUM brewing behind closed doors. Thatâs right! Not only do we have aceâs up our sleeves, weâve also got an ace in the hole. So, without further ado, let me introduce our⊠ACEHOLE!â
âAND WELL! WELL! WELL!â
âWhen I got the call to help these boys out full-time, well I was honoured. I really must beâŠthe luckiest man⊠on the face of the-â
âNot you, Tunez.â
âYeah, youâre just here as a kinda⊠third, a subsidiary, lacky if you will.â
âLike a slave.â
âYeah.â
âOhâŠâ
âTuna will be at ringside and will be a valued bag carrier for us going forward, but he ainât the Ace in the Hole. THATâŠ.â
âWill be revealed later.â
The Jamrockers begin laughing and crotch chopping the camera, perking Tuna up who laughs alongside them.
*RING RING RING RING RING*
The Jamrockers are in their usual gear but with some changes to reflect the location. Touchdown having a strand of hair set in a curl on his forehead and a toothpick, Cooldown wearing a striped white-and-black jailhouse shirt under his jacket. Both clad in sleek black suits. Tuna eclipses them both however, donned in a sparkly midnight blue jumpsuit and the top of his mullet styled into a pompadour.
âYou could say that The Jamrockerâs have a gambling problem. And, yeah, that wouldnât be totally wrong. But! Itâs not playinâ the tables, or pullinâ the slots, no. We have a gambling problem because we are ALWAYS bettinâ on ourselves!â
âWe do that, cause unlike craps or roulette, it ainât all subject to chance. Thereâs variables that make up every competitor from Jack Diamond to Wellington Dunne. Zohan and Rey, theyâre successful, theyâre tough, theyâre brutal. Well, they try to be, in Reyâs case. Brutalityâs fine, great even! ButâŠâ
âBrutality is predictable.â
âPREDICTABLE!â
Tuna emphasises each word, an effort that goes unnoticed by both Jamrockers.
âIt can be planned for. Taken into account. Dangerous, sure! But if The Jamrockers were so put off by reputation, I woulda lost to Spike Kane just like Reymundo did. Jimi wouldnât have done what no one else in IPW had the balls to do and rep the company in Overheated! See, folk think Zohanâs terrifying cause he gets in there and stabs motherfuckers. You and your bottom bitch can be knives all ya want. Problem is, youâre walkinâ into a gunfight.â
âGrowing up the way me and Al did, on the mean streets of Boogie Street, weâre no strangers to getting down and dirty. If you think for a second that either one of us would be intimidated, youâd be wrong! If you think for a second that either one of us would be second-guessin' youâre wrong! Yâall are playinâ at the kiddie table, weâre out here playing HIGH STAKES! Make no mistake about it, when ya get in the ring with us, you will find out just how out of your depth you really are!â
âWeâre in a league of our own! There ainât nobody on this roster that can keep up with us. Hell, there ainât nobody on this Network that can. Yâknow, youâre walkinâ into our company, the house that Jam built! Youâre walkinâ into our company, into OUR Main Event! Itâs a big step up for olâ El Rey lately, if ya ask me, a main event âgainst two of the best IPdub has to offer? Arenât you more used to jerkinâ the curtain in this company? Wouldnât ya feel more comfortable beinâ in the ring against Latoya Hixx, or better yet, Blaze - whatâs her name again?â
âWhatâs her name again?â
âWho? Blaze Freya?â
âWHO?!â
A rattle pierces through Cooldownâs enraged confusion. As Touchdown shakes a pair of dice in his hand and tosses it against the fuzzy green table. He doesnât bother to see what the dice come up with as he turns his attention back to the camera.
âYâever play twenty-one? Thereâs a finite number of moves and combinations. That applies to you two. In spite of both your admittedly impressive resumes, youâre both beatable. Youâve both got track records and habits that can be exploited. The Jamrockers? Since our metamorphosis, no oneâs been able to shut us up yet!â
âZohan and L Rey, they got what it takes, sure. But in their inclinations toward violence and hubris respectively, theyâll just assume itâs a sure thing. That because of who they are and who we are, they know how to handle us. Itâs that kinda confidence that people have when they think theyâve got that winning hand.â
âOnly to realise they donât even know the rules of the game.â
The boys smirk at each other.
âEverything weâve laid out so far? The stab vests, Tuna as our insurance. These are just the things we want you to know youâre up against. Thereâs an entire game happening under the table. Sure, Zuran-Zuran and Rey ainât no stranger to cheating and playinâ underhanded. But weâve managed to outsmart and run through competition that El Rey couldnât, weâve got the backing of people that had Zoranâs number physically AND psychologically.â
âBut letâs toss âem a bone. Throw the mental game outta the equation. Youâd STILL be facing the most athletically capable tag team on the XHF Network, STILL be facing a team with years upon years of experience. A team with renewed purpose and the success to back it up! Had our bumps in the road, sure. But you two? Two guys with clashing styles and a whole heap of hidden resentment? Really itâs not a matter of how youâll implode, itâs a matter of how long itâll take before we make you do so.â
Jimi puts his hand on Alâs shoulder.
âThat was really good, man! You wanna know what I think?â
âTell âem, COOLIE-O!â
âWell, I THINK that they can SUCK! OUR! DI-!â
âDICKS! SUCK OUR DICKS! THEYâRE SUCKINâ, THEY- theyâŠâ
Tuna trails off as the duo (and several other patrons of the casino) glare at him. His hubris falters and he hangs his head in shame.
âRight, Tuna, love the energy. I mean, really. Unfortunately, weâre here for a super important meeting here in a few and we canât have you hanginâ around here SC-REEEEE-WING things up!â
âSo wh-â
âSecurity?! Can we get Security over here?â
The doors to the casino swing open, as we see the backs of three suit-clad men emerge with a swagger. Tuna, sporting a bruise and sitting on the hood of a parked car, stands up and starts frantically waving. The three figures pay him no mind. The man on the left speaks.
âHey, it was swell meetinâ ya.â
âYeah, an enlightening experience. Weâre big fans.â
âMy pleasure fellas.â
STEVE AWESOME flashes an X*Crown winning smirk at The Jamrockers who turn and flash ones of their own.
âIâm a big fan of you guys as well. Anytime I can give you the lowdown on some other freak, you just let me know.â
âItâs a mental game as well as physical baby! We get the lowdown scoop on Zohan and his pal, all their intricacies and bad habits. While they donât know the first thing about beating us. NOT A DAMN THING! NOT A DAMN SINGLE DAMN THING!â
âWe are The Jamrockers, the best damn tag team on the XHF Network. We made our bones while Zohan was practising intimidating faces in the mirror and El Rey was failing high school. Thereâs no-BODY on our level.â
âIf you donât like that?â
Cooldown gestures to his crotch.
âSuck!â
âTheir!â
âDicks!â
Awesome By Name...
...Jammin' By Nature