J-ROK Jam Sessions Ep. 17 "Timely!!" SHOW

[Kira Izumi]

We hear the funky riffs from Anri as "Remember Summer Days" plays through the speakers. We pan across the Yamato Sports Center Stadium to see a packed house full of fans from all over Kanagawa. We see a video package of the top stars and future talents as well. Soon we rest on the commentators sitting on the other side of the guard rail.

Psycho KGB: "(Welcome to J-ROK Jam Sessions! This is episode 17 "Timely!!" and tonight we're in Yamato, Kanagawa. And boy, do we have a hot crowd for tonights show, MUSHI.)"

MUSHI: "(Yeah we do, Psycho. We got a hot card for tonight too! Kicking things off and ending it with a title match. We also have some pretty high stakes tag team matches too in preperation for next months ppv show!)"

Match One: YTA Championship Match; Wendy's Baconator Eating Contest; 30 Minute Time limit
Eichi Yamaguchi Vs. Florida Man (C.)

PsychoKGB: "(Looks like two tables are set up in the middle of the ring where ring attendants are unwrapping Wendy’s Baconators and placing them into pyramids on the table. How many burgers you think that they might be going through?)"

MUSHI: "(I heard that Florida Man is actually a portal in his belly so that anything he eats will fall into Mongo the Destroyer’s mouth to keep him fat.)"

PsychoKGB: "(We’re not. We’re not doing that just yet.)"

MUSHI: "(Oh, I am sorry about that. That’s a lot of burgers being unwrapped. Looks like a hundred or more per table.)"

Fumio Daemura: "(The following contest is a Wendy’s Baconator Eating Contest and is for the YTA championship! The winner will be the one to eat the most Baconator burgers after thirty minutes of time. Featuring in this corner… “the Gold Rush God” Eichi Yamaguchi!)"

Yamaguchi raises his hands to the cheering of the crowd. He smiles as he looks lustfully at the cheeseburgers piled high on his table.

PsychoKGB: "(I think the paperwork says that there might be one hundred and fifty cheeseburgers there.)"

MUSHI: "(That’s a heart attack waiting to happen.)"

PsychoKGB: "(At least you don’t eat five dozen eggs daily. Salmonella is real.)"

MUSHI: "(I would cook them first!)"

PsychoKGB: "(I don’t think it specifies on the cartoon.)"

MUSHI: "(Cartoon?)"

PsychoKGB: "(Nevermind. It’s Beauty and the Beast.)"

MUSHI: "(I…see…)"

Fumio Daemura: "(And his opponent is in that corner, Florida Man!)"

Florida Man is in his special mask that allows him to be able to eat the burgers in this food eating contest since we cannot call it a match.

PsychoKGB: "(Is it time?)"

MUSHI: "(I guess.)"

PsychoKGB: "(Yamaguchi must not like food.)"

MUSHI: "(Why do you say that?)"

PsychoKGB: "(He’s turned his gaze on Florida Man instead of the burgers on his own table.)"

MUSHI: "(I heard that Florida Man dropped a bath bomb into his bathwater and then called nine-one-one since he thought he was bleeding profusely.)"

PsychoKGB: "(I heard that Florida Man attempted to tunnel his way out of jail, only to tunnel his way into another cell.)"

The bell sounds to start the eating contest and the competitors launch into eating their burgers. Florida Man is taking giant bites and chewing with his mouth at capacity while Eichi seems to be gulping down bite sized portions without even chewing.

MUSHI: "(The competitors look to be neck and neck with their different strategies. Each of them have downed two baconators so far.)"

PsychoKGB: '9Oh look, Florida Man has pulled ahead with finishing a third burger in what, two bites? How is he doing this?)"

MUSHI: "(I heard Florida Man once ate a 72 ounce steak in like ten minutes and asked for seconds.)"

PsychoKGB: "(No way. Though I did hear that he once wore a “Fuck the Police” shirt to court and still won his case.)"

MUSHI: "(Yamaguchi is looking over at Florida Man now that Florida Man is about two burgers ahead of him.)"

PsychoKGB: "(I wonder if he intends to speed up or do something about it?)"

MUSHI: "(I think he’s walking over to Florida Man!)"

Yamaguchi walks over and grabs Florida Man by the back of the head and slams him face first into the table, knocking a couple of the burgers to the floor. Florida Man’s hands go to his throat where he is choking on a half a burger from the shock of being attacked. Yamaguchi sweeps his legs to send him to the mat and runs back over to his table where he begins pounding down burgers.

PsychoKGB: "(Does Yamaguchi win by default if Florida Man dies from choking?)"

MUSHI: "(I don’t know. I guess if Florida Man can’t eat then he will lose once Yamaguchi passes him.)"

Florida Man gets up and runs at the corner, leaping up, and slamming his chest into the top turnbuckle. The motion sends a shower of Baconator into the crowd.

PsychoKGB: "(Florida Man back in the game, but Yamaguchi is now three burgers ahead of him.)"

MUSHI: "(Oh! Florida Man looking for some payback)"

Florida Man rounds the corner to come at Eichi Yamaguchi when he rushes him first. Florida Man ducks his head to go for a backdrop, lifts Yamaguchi up, and hits an accidental backdrop driver! Florida Man runs back to his table and begins eating once again.

PsychoKGB: "(You had to know that this was going to get physical. They are wrestlers, after all.)"

MUSHI: "(Yeah. Makes sense.)"

Yamaguchi gets back to his feet and runs over to Florida Man, who hurls a Baconator at him. The sammich bounces off Yamaguchi’s chest and yet he keeps on coming. Yamagushi nails a drop kick, sending Florida Man to the mat. Florida Man gets right back up to his feet, but eats a roundhouse kick to the mouth that sends him right back down to the mat.

PsychoKGB: "(I heard Florida Man told a bartender that he was the Undertake and then tried to hit him with a tombstone piledriver.)"

MUSHI: "(Oh yeah? I heard he was once arrested for having a black tshirt that said “Who needs drugs.No, seriously, I have drugs”. He didn’t actually have drugs on him so he got off.)"

Yamaguchi makes his way back to his table so that he can go back to eating when a Baconator hits him in the back of the head in an explosion of burger parts and sauce. Yamaguchi spins around, only to be taken down by a spear. Florida Man mounts Yamaguchi and begins to pound on him with a Baconator.

PsychoKGB: "(Are these wasted burgers going to count as eaten?)"

MUSHI: "(No, I don’t think so. Judges are keeping track of what has been eaten and what has been wasted.)"

Yamaguchi throws Florida Man off of him and gets to his feet, wiping burger sauce off of his face before grabbing Florida Man and hitting a DDT! He jumps up, leaving Florida Man on the mat, to go back to his station and renews his eating of the burgers.

PsychoKGB: "(I think that Yamaguchi is ahead by four burgers now.)"

MUSHI: "(That’s quite a lead. I wonder if Florida Man can catch up?)"

Florida Man gets back to his feet and drops Yamaguchi over the top rope with a back suplex. He runs back to his side of the ring and begins pounding down burgers while Yamaguchi is laying on the floor.

PsychoKGB: "(That’s one way to try to catch up.)"

MUSHI: "(Yeah. I think it’s easier for this contest to swing back and forth because of the fact that all of the Baconators have been unwrapped before the contest even began.)"

PsychoKGB: "(That certainly makes things easier.)"

MUSHI: "(Look! Yamaguchi is getting back into the ring just as Florida Man is getting caught up! Yamaguchi is eating again and they are neck and neck!)"

PsychoKGB: "(I heard that Florida Man took a pet gator into a petting zoo to get him a snack. He was ejected, naturally.)"

MUSHI: "(I think I’ve heard of that one. I heard that he wore elephant pants one day and left his penis out to be the trunk.)"

Yamaguchi looks up

MUSHI: "(from eating to see that Florida Man is nearly stuffing whole burgers into his mouth. He changes tactics and begins eating even faster.)"

PsychoKGB: "(Are we going to have any more antics as the clock counts down?)"

MUSHI: "(I don’t think so. We are seeing raw eating power going on here as these two power down Baconators faster than a fair queen gobbling down judge dicks.)"

PsychoKGB: "(That’s horrible.)"

MUSHI: "(You’re right. I apologize for my statement.)"

PsychoKGB: "(Ten seconds to go and they are eating like anime characters who hadn’t eaten all day! See? Appropriate.)"

MUSHI: "(I said I was sorry!)"

PsychoKGB: "(And we have time! We now go to the judges to see who ate the most Baconators.)"

MUSHI: "(Eichi Yamaguchi has eaten sixty-nine burgers! Damn!)"

PsychoKGB: "(Florida Man has eaten seventy burgers!)"

MUSHI: "(That’s a lot of beef for both of these men. I do not envy the toilet later down the road.)"

PsychoKGB: "(Eeeeww.)"

Fumio Daemura: "(Winner of the contest and STILL YTA champion…Florida Man!)"

PsychoKGB: Both men downing some pepto bismol now that the eating contest is over. They look like they might start fighting again, but they back away from one another with their ands on their bellies.

MUSHI: I can imagine. We will be right back after these messages after we get the ring cleaned up.

The scene opens to the familiar figure of Gregory Murphy, the manager and agent of the Heroes for Hire stable, standing in front of a JROK logo'd backdrop. Alongside him are two of his clients, Strike 2 Kill's; Liam Richardson and Miles Watson, both dressed for in ring action tonight.

Gregory Murphy: "Ladies and Gentlemen; the Heroes for Hire are at your service!"

Murphy grins from ear to ear, rubbing his hands as he does so.

Gregory Murphy: "We're already holding the Trio's Championships, with Shinobu, Shimada and Storm, they'll holding down the fort for the group, but we ain't finished yet, we're only just getting started. Tonight, Strike 2 Kill make their return to JROK and their sole intentions are to fight their way into the Super Duo's title picture. These boys right here, they're the hottest tag team in the world right now and they've been proving it, everywhere they've been. I think it's about time for Strike 2 Kill to make their mark out here in Japan, don't you - boys?"

Richardson steps to the forefront of the frame.

Liam Richardson: "It's about damn time, Greg. And you're absolutely spot on, we have been killing it, everywhere we've been. We've got the accolades to back it up but none of that matters here in Japan. We've fought for those Super Duo's titles once before and we came up short, but we're coming back now as a better team, a more renowned team - and right now, there's no team in the world that's better than us. We'll prove that here tonight, and again when the time comes calling for it... the point is, S2K - we've been to the summit, competed for those titles on a grand stage and now we're ready to make the most of it! Tonight, is only just the beginning!"

Miles Watson: "What those boys have done is set the standard, they set the tone and now we're gonna have to match that. Shinobu in the King of Hokkaido tournament earlier this summer, absolutely delivered, and he's been adding titles to his accolades ever since then... Shimada and Storm, their names speak for themselves, they've already been accomplishing shit since they started off in this business years back... I have no doubt they're gonna be holding those Trio's titles for the foreseeable future, and as they do we'll be hoping to get our hands on those Super Duos titles, so the Heroes for Hire can have the acclaim of being the most dominant team in JROK! There won't be any disputing anything WHEN that happens, believe me."

The scene gradually fades with the two men posing for the camera.

Match Two: J-ROK Tag Team Match; 30 Minute Time Limit
Strike 2 Kill Vs. Valora Thomas & Johnny Sniper

Fumio Daemura: "(This match is a tag team match with a thirty minute time limit. Introducing first, Strike 2 Kill! And their opponents, the team of Johnny Sniper and Valora Thomas!)"

This would be a pretty quick match. Well despite Johnny holding his own for the beginning moments of the match. He tried his best, but even some big moves of his own just couldn't stop the results of this one.

Strike 2 Kill would cut the ring off and work masterfully as a tag team. They'd never let Johnny get back in the ring once he tagged out. Beating the tar out of Thomas. She'd try to do some big moves and mount a comeback, but she'd be cut down every time. Strike 2 Kill would take out Snipper and hit Valora with a Shoot 2 Kill to end it.

Fumio Daemura: "(Your winner of this match... Strike 2 Kill!!!!)"

Match Three: Trios Rules; 30 Minute Time Limit
Wolf Fang Ayame & Off The Wagon Vs. Death Startling (Fukushima Zombie & Anna Daniels) & Jacob Striker

This would be a highly contested match between six impressive talents. Each of them would shine and bring something to the table in this contest. We'd see a real power struggle between OTW and DS. Both teams would counter one another into other counters. It would be real impressive stuff and we'd see some near falls on both sides.

Jacob would show the fans his skills and his fighting spirit, taking on former New Wave Champion, Wolf Fang Ayame. Both would showcase a high octane and impactful style. using numerous strikes and fast paced moves to attack each other. Ayame hitting her Heavens Howl signature double knees to a kneeling opponent. Striker would retaliate with a hunters mark moonsault. Randy would be tagged in, trying to help keep Quake fresh for his next match later on this evening.

Randy would lay into the newest member of the roster, forcing him to tag out to Daniels. The two would have a back and forth fight, Daniels missing her interrobang and Randy winning with the sloshy shuffle.

Fumio Daemura: "(Your winner of this match, Off The Wagon & Wolf Fang Ayame!)"

Eri, Yoshiko and Hayumi were backstage. It was the first time all three had been together at the same place at the same time. This was more special for Eri cause this was her first match in japan in over a year she was the same person who had left a year ago but now things had changed also it was good to be back in the place she called home Hokkaido, Japan. As they were walking she was walking came across the promo area and decided why not

Eri: Hokkaido I'm back home and I came back because it's time to finish some business that was started in 2017 and well I didn't come back here alone so introduce yourself

Eri stopped speaking so the other two could introduce themselves

Yoshiko: Well I'm "The Red Queen" Yoshiko I'm one of the most hard-hitting and strongest wrestlers in all of Joshi also I'm Eri's tag partner

Yoshiko let Hayami speak

Hayami: I'm "the Fallen Idol Hayumi" fucking Tojo and we're going to fucking murder you in the ring.

Once Nayumi was done speaking Eri spoke again

Eri: And if you didn't know well I'm "The Kawaii Empress " Eri Megumi and well I'm a really good high-speed wrestler. And together we are Holy Angel Empire

Eri took a deep breath and thought of what to say next

Eri: I know what your gonna say why do join forces we aren't all alike well we have one goal and that's to conquer and win some gold.

Eri let Yoshiko say the rest

Yoshiko: As Eri has started we wanna win some gold and well since we are stable and there are three of us our first goal is to take the titles off heroes for hire well I mean they've had a good run with the belts but it's time to bring the titles to an Empire

Hayami started to speak out of nowhere and kind of shocked Yoshiko

Hayami: It's time to send them fucking home with their precious fucking tiles because when we get in the ring we'll make them look like bitches and leave them thirty pounds lighter.

Eri started when she realized Hayumi was done and she was ready to give her final thoughts

Eri: You guys are correct and we will do whatever it takes to win those titles as long as it is legal and within the rule. Now let's show them why we are the best unit here

Match Four: Special Tag Team Match; 30 Minute Time Limit
Scott Fargo & Hayley Grimes Vs. Black Knife Cabal

Fumio Daemura: "(This match is set for one fall at a thirty minute time limit. Introducing first, the team of Hayley Grimes and Scott Fargo! and their opponents, Brendan Harding, Jack Gains, they are the Black Knife Cabal!)"

MUSHI: "(Black Knife Cabal making their tag team debut here tonight. Jack Gaines debuted in the Parade of 1000 Demons tournament against Tabitha Osborne, beating her. He goes onto take on XHF legend, Rat Bastard on August 31st.)"

Psycho KGB: "(Both teams are inexperienced, so we'll just have to see which two teams can out do the other.)"

The match would start out with Fargo and Gaines. Both men would throw some stiff strikes at one another. Starting the match off with a sickening display of violence. Fargo would get the best of him though, knocking him back into his corner and tagging out. The Visual Kei Champ would come in now. We'd see some rear end assault from the champ, before Jack would catch her with a black knife handspring enzugiri.

That would turn the tides of the match. Jack would tag in Harding and he'd come right off with a thannix canon! Harding would give the champ a run for her money at the beginning, but she'd reverse a splash from him for an atomic drop. She'd hit him with a sliding hip attack. she'd go for a pin, but it'd be broken by Jack.

Scott would come back into the ring now. Both would trade strikes and suplexes on one another. Scott would work the leg of Harding, He'd fight back though, kicking him in the face. Brendan would go for a german suplex. Fargo would fight him though, kicking his leg and causing him to drop him. His clutch is still tight though, he lifts him back up and drops him with the suplex.

Fargo pops back up and screams. he does a cross chop to Hardings legs. Causing him to fall. he runs the ropes and hits him with the shotgun blast, for the win.

Fumio Daemura: "(Your winners of this match, Hayley Grimes & Scott Fargo!!!)"

Main Event: J-ROK New Wave Championship Match; Exploding Baseball Bat Death Match; 60 Minute Time Limit
Kris Quake Vs. Darlene Price (C.)

Fumio Daemura: The following contest is a Exploding Baseball Bat Death match scheduled for one fall and it is for the Jrok New Wave championship! Featuring first the challenger, hailing from Sydney, Australia…Kris Quake!

Outsiders by Eric Church begins playing as Kris Quake walks out from the back to the cheering from the crowd. He looks around before taking off a pair of sunglasses and flings them into the cheering crowd. He makes his way down to the ring, signing the occasional Super Sake bottle as he goes. He steps into the ring and shifts his weight from leg to leg as he waits for his opponent to come down to the ring.

PsychoKGB: Now the bat with the bomblets attached to it is on the pole. The first one to climb up to the top turnbuckle in that corner and grab the bat may use it.

MUSHI: Should only need one swing of that bat to finish the match.

PsychoKGB: That’s right. A good blast to the head will finish the match.

MUSHI: And send someone to the hospital.

Fumio Daemura: And his opponent, hailing from the wrong neck of the woods…she is the Jrok New Wave champion…"JROK's Ambassador of Violence" Darlene Price!

"Love the way you hate me" by Rising Storm starts to play over the speakers, Darlene comes out eyeing the crowd for a second before she makes her way down to the ring, high-fiving a few random fans here and there, she circles the ring slowly as her song plays, she then steps back, runs and slides onto the ring apron on her knee, she rests her back on the top rope her arms draped over it, she sticks her tongue out to the crowd, she then throws her arms out into the crucifix pose with metal horns, slowly she raises her arms up above her head crossed, then throws them down, she then turns and leaps into the ring, tossing her jean vest at Kris Quake. She hands her title belt to the ref for display to the audience before it is handed to the time keeper. She goes to her corner and starts to stretch legs waiting for the match to start.

PsychoKGB: This match kinda favors Darlene as she would be the more violent of the two of them. She is a known arsonist in the ring. Explosive bats are right up her alley.

MUSHI: No kidding. How many matches ended with her setting someone on fire?

PsychoKGB: Too many to count.

MUSHI: You got that right. Think she will set Kris on fire tonight?

PsychoKGB: I don’t doubt it.

MUSHI: Me neither. She is a bit on the loopy side, but yeah is the odds on favorite to win tonight.

The bell sounds to start the match and Darlene begins walking toward ther corner with the exploding baseball bat. Kris Quake gets in her way.

Darlene Price: Move.

Kris Quake: Make me?

Darlene Price: Fine.

Darlene kicks Kris right in the crank, grabbing him as he doubles over, and DDTs him on the spot. She jumps to her feet and begins climbing to the top turnbuckle, but Kris manages to get up and applies the full nelson from behind, turning it into a full nelson suplex to get Darlene into the middle of the ring.

Kris gets up and runs to the corner with the bat as Darlene jumps up and gives chase. Kris runs up the turnbuckles and backflips over Darlene’s head to allow her to crash chest first into the corner. Kris lands on his feet and takes to the air again to drill Darlene in the back with a drop kick.

Darlene turns around for Kris to take her to the middle of the ring again with an arm drag. Darlene rolls to her feet and leaps at Kris, taking him down with a rolling head scissors. She jumps to her feet and goes toward the baseball bat once again.

PsychoKGB: Both people in this match are pretty quick on their feet.

MUSHI: True and Kris can take to the air.

Kris gets up to his feet and runs at Darlene, who grabs the top rope and leaps up into the air to blindly apply another head scissors and roll to take Kris down to the mat. She jumps up and quickly climbs to the top turnbuckle, reaching for the baseball bat as Kris gets up to his feet.

Darlene grabs the explosive baseball bat as Kris watches on in horror. A fan throws in a bottle of Super Sake that Kris catches. As Darlene leaps down with a two handed overhead swing of the bat, Kris gets the bottle of Super Sake up to defend himself.

BOOM!

The resulting explosion sends Kris flying backwards and Darlene into the corner. Glass and sake fly everywhere as the Super Sake bottle is destroyed.

PsychoKGB: Holy cow! Both competitors cut to ribbons after that exchange. I can’t imagine that getting sake into the wounds would make things feel any better.

MUSHI: Might sanitize the wounds, excepting for the sugar content of the booze.

Kris Quake stands up, bleeding from multiple wounds from the explosion. Darlene uses her free hand to pull a shard of glass out of her cheek that looks like it went so far in as to cut her tongue. She keeps watch of Kris, her eyes blazing with anger.

Darlene and Kris run at one another. Darlene swinging the bat, but Kris slides underneath the swing to come up behind her. Another bottle of Super Sake, this one signed, is thrown into the ring. Kris catches it and swings it at the back of Darlene’s head. However, Darlene spins around with the bat and makes full contact with the bottle.

BOOM!

Both competitors are thrown away from one another again as shattered glass and sake is thrown in all directions. Kris slams into the ropes and holds on so that he doesn’t fall to the mat while Darlene is thrown to her butt. She keeps hold of the bat though.

PsychoKGB: Eww!

MUSHI: What?

PsychoKGB: Kris has a large shard of glass sticking out of his side.

MUSHI: Ouch.

Kris slowly pulls the several inch long piece of glass from his side and throws it from the ring. He places his hand over the wound that pours blood.

PsychoKGB: He isn’t watching Darlene!

MUSHI: Oh no!

Darlene steps up while Kris is distracted by his wound and hits him full on in the chest with the exploding bat. The explosion pushes Kris into the ropes where he bounces off and lands flat on his face in the middle of the ring. Blood quickly forming a pool from his side. Darlene throws the baseball bat from the ring and rolls Kris over with a foot, going for the pinfall.

One
Two
Three!

Fumio Daemura: Winner of the match and STILL Jrok New Wave champion…”the Ambassador of Hardcore” Darlene Price!

Darlene celebrates her win in the ring as the ref is signaling for medics to hurry down to check up on Kris Quake.

PsychoKGB: A bloody end to the show tonight.

MUSHI: It’s the best!




Post match back stage area, you know the type banner with the JROK and other sponsors logos on it, in walks JROK's defening New Wave Champion Darlene Price, and her partner The Big Bad Wolf.

Dar: Correct me if I'm wrong, and I'm not, but when one beats a champion in a match, if it's not for that title, they then get a title match down the road, correct? Tonight I successfully defended MY New Wave Championship against one half of the Super Duos Champions Off the Wagon's own Kris Quake. Therefore I, no we...

She points to herself and BBW

Dar: WE should be next in line for those titles.

BBW steps forward.

BBW: For too long I've been ignored, as I've laid waste to everyone they've put in front of me I've watched as others get opportunity after opportunity while I've been tossed table scraps. No longer. The Big Bad Wolf is on the hunt, Off the Wagon is my prey. And I WILL FEAST.

She storms off as Dar has a OH SHIT moment and then she gives an evil grin towards the camera.

Dar: Off the Wagon...see you soon...Todos sufrirán, todos arderán.

Our New Wave Champion leaves the scene