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Post by Jonnie Valentine on Aug 30, 2022 2:29:50 GMT -5
Show opens on a rowdy crowd at Ulster Hall, waving the UK flag, the Ulster banner, and a brave soul is waving the Irish flag. Fans hold signs that say “Syb Is On Fire”, “AVB = Tinpot”, “The Oracles Are Muppets”, “Kilroy Is A Lad”, “The GREAT Syberus” and “I’d Fancy A Shag, Tux”. The shot cuts to Guillermo and Phil at ringside.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Hello fans and welcome to Ulster Hall and Irish Rage in Belfast 2022, an event that goes back to 1997!
Phillip Blauer: Cheerio!
Guillermo O’Bannon: That means goodbye.
Phillip Blauer: Maybe in America, Ginsu, but we’re in Jolly Old England. It’s their Aloha!
Guillermo O’Bannon: We’re in Northern Ireland.
Phillip Blauer: Let it go, paddy. Haven’t you heard that song, Zombie? (starts singing) “They’re in your head, in your head. With their tanks, and their guns, and their bombs, in your head, in your head, they are dying.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: We will be deciding the Hardkore World Tag Team Champions tonight, as 4 teams will face off in a one night tournament to decide the first champions since neXt in 2012. The belts go back to 1993 with The Jungle Terrors.
Phillip Blauer: Who don’t age well!
Guillermo O’Bannon: No, no they don’t. Then we will have Syberus’ first title defense of the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship against the Hardkore West Coast Champion The Sheik. Syberus is looking to defend the belt that he won here twice; once in 2007 when he defeated “The Punisher” Dan Stein and again in 2008 when he defeated Andrew Karnage in a ladder match. He’ll definitely have the homefield advantage but The Sheik recently joined The Oracles of Suffering and while he seemed sadistic before, there’s no telling what he’ll do under the tutelage of Poena, The Sanctified.
After a few seconds of “Taurus Shrine” playing over the speakers, Ruben emerges onto the stage. Despite wearing his ring gear, he still has a parchment and quill in his hands that look tiny in his large hands. Eventually he gets frustrated, throws them to the ground, and stalks to the ring
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman has been on a good start here in Hardkore, picking up wins in Coachella and LA, his last one being over Tuxedo Mask. Tonight, he teams with Lynx to try and win the Hardkore World Tag Team Championships in his third show of his career.
Once there, Bowman slides under the bottom rope into the ring where he goes to wait in the corner.
Then "Long Walk Home" by Howl Trance plays and the Belfast crowd leaps to their feet. Kids with Lynx masks run to the aisle and crane their hands out as Lynx jogs by and slaps everyone that he can
Phillip Blauer: Boy these young tykes sure do love this Lynx fella. I wish my mask had moved as well, but it only catches on at Halloween and those Eyes Wide Shut get togethers.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx the ring general of this group, but he has a young powerful hoss in his corner. With his high flying, that could be the key to winning this whole thing.
Greg Jin: “Hello Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to Irish Rage in Belfast 2022!!”
Ulster Hall cheers and then a song breaks out, as they hold up their beer cups
Crowd: Dooon’t take me home,
Please don’t take me home
I just don’t want to go to work
I wanna stay here, drink all the beer
Please don’t, don’t take me hooome!
Dooon’t take me home,
Please don’t take me home
I just don’t want to go to work
I wanna stay here, drink all the beer
Please don’t, don’t take me hooome!
Greg Jin: “The following is the First Round of the Hardkore World Tag Team Title Tournament! Your referee is Richie Richardson. Featuring first, from Wherever The Muses Dictate; Standing 6 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 285 pounds…RUBEN BOWMAN!! His partner is from Sicily; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 200 pounds…LYNX!!”
The pop Lynx gets is especially high pitched from the excited kids in the crowd. Ruben Bowman comes over to Greg and whispers in his ear.
Greg Jin: “Ladies and Gentleman, at this moment, Mr. Bowman would like regale you with a poem.”
Greg nods and hands the microphohone to Ruben Bowman, who reads off his parchment
Ruben Bowman: “Belfast faithful, lend your valued notice
To the visionary with a modus
Operandi anyone can fathom;
Overpower every Hardkore alum
That is placed before me. Any less would
Be a waste of skills and peerless manhood.
The Anointed claim they're overdue praise,
Prestige, kudos, but forgotten the ways,
That respect is earned. They clearly value
Cowardice, but post-match beatdowns show you
Weakness. They'd won, but were still insecure.
Truly strong men win, stand tall, and endure.
Hate their message if you wish, but hate us
For our deeds. The Lynx and I need not cuss,
Moan, or cry about past oversights. We
Will prevail and capture titles carefree,
Knowing no one fighting fairly will be
Able to escape reality. The
Hardkore Tag-Team Titles new addressee,
Ruben Bowman, poem skeleton key,
Bows to no one. Lynx is also trustee,
Assuming he satisfactorily
Performs his tasks and doesn't fail to see
Through the petty wailings from the banshees.
They have names and want the recognition.
We have skills to vex the competition.
We are not a normal coalition.
But we will destroy the opposition.
Tag team titles, destined acquisition.
We won't even need to get permission.
You can think I'm wrong, but we're in high gear;
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.”
The fans applaud but suddenly a man in a hooded robe propels from the rafters with a rope to the entrance stage
Phillip Blauer: Ahhh!! It’s a terror attack! I knew it! (grabs Guillermo by the lapels) Take him, he’s who you want!
The man takes his hood off and looks at the camera
Marty Donovan: Hello there.
Then “Water” by Kojey Radical, Mahalia, and Swindle plays a thick cloud like haze fills the entryway, and brilliant blue lights create an almost angelic like atmosphere. Alexander Von Blankenship walks out to a tidal wave of boos dressed as Anakin Skywalker while Disney’s Marty Donovan is dressed as Obi Wan Kenobi
Guillermo O’Bannon: I should have known this was something from Star Wars.
Phillip Blauer: I don’t think I’ve seen that picture. Is Fatty Arbuckle in that one?
The Anointed hold their arms out, soaking in the hatred of the UK crowd. Alexander Von Blankenship mouths the words "Always Very Blessed" as he points to the smug look on his own face.
Guillermo O’Bannon: These two pulled a fast one on Kilroy and Syberus in LA, and were on the same page all along.
Phillip Blauer: That’s hardly pulling a fast one, Gabriella. It’s disguising your play. Nothing different than covering your mouth on the sideline when you call a play or winning a World Series like the Astros.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Nonetheless, they attacked Syberus and Kilroy after the match and announced they were now The Anointed. Now they plan to take control of Hardkore World by first becoming the tag team champions, and being anointed the top group on the West Coast.
Phillip Blauer: By winning them in Northern Ireland. Got it.
AVB looks out at the crowd, his smirk is now a scowl. Disney’s Marty Donovan starts walking to the ring and ducks a beer cup thrown at him while Von Blankenship points to random fans, stating loudly " I'm better than you" to the fans holding the signs that say “AVB = Tinpot”, “Syb Is On Fire”, “Kilroy Is A Lad”, and “The GREAT Syberus”
Guillermo O’Bannon: These fans are definitely upset at what The Anointed did to one of their countrymen Syberus, as well as Kilroy Evans in Los Angeles.
Phillip Blauer: And Belfast is supposed to be a place of peace and tranquility,
Disney’s Marty Donovan rolls into the ring and rips off his brown robe to reveal a Disney speedo to the disgust of the crowd. Alexander Von Blankenship walks up the steps to the ring, stopping before he gets inside, he gives the ring a father son and holy sport blessing before climbing the outside turnbuckle. Donovan motions to Lynx that he’s going to rip off his mask. AVB looks out towards the angry audience, then yells out "Always Very Blessed" before jumping down into the ring
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan has swore that he will remove Lynx’s mask tonight, as well as once again claiming there’s a conspiracy against The Anointed; this time to do with jet lag.
Phillip Blauer: Look, my business partner is tired of being forced to go through this dog and pony show to receive the tag team titles that The Anointed richly deserve.
Guillermo O’Bannon: You mean win them in a tournament.
Phillip Blauer: I do indeed.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “And their opponents, first from Amsterdam in The Netherlands; Standing 6 feet tall 2 inches; Weighing 215 pounds…ALEXANDER VON BLANKENSHIP!! His partner is from The Magic Kingdom in Orlando, Florida; He Stands 6 feet tall; Weighing 218 pounds…DISNEY’S MARTY DONOVAN!! They are THE ANOINTED!!!”
The fans boo loudly and then a chant of “WHO ARE YA!! WHO ARE YA! WHO ARE YA!!” is directed at The Anointed. Marty Donovan seems a little unnerved by it, but Alexander Von Blankenship welcomes their scorn. Richie Richardson again reminds Ruben Bowman to remove his chain-mail head wrap
Hardkore World Tag Team Title Tournament Match
The Anointed vs. Lynx & Ruben Bowman
Richie Richardson signals for the bell and AVB and Lynx exit the ring so Ruben Bowman and Marty Donovan can start out
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty and Bowman lock up in a collar and elbow tie up, and the stronger Bowman easily forces Marty back into the corner. Bowman beal throws Marty across the ring!
The fans pop and Marty sits on the mat and complains to referee Richie Richardson that was too hard
Phillip Blauer: Come now, that has to be illegal. We can’t allow moves from the 1950s. Think of all the airplane spins!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman shoots Marty into the ropes and backdrops him high into the air!
Marty does the time out signal, which Richie thinks is a real thing and tries to back off Bowman, who blows the referee off
Phillip Blauer: He called time, ref!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Bowman applies a reverse chinlock to Marty Donovan. He locks those big hands together and clamps down on Donovan’s jawline
Phillip Blauer: He’s got to power out of this! Come on everybody!
Phil stands up and starts slow clapping, trying to get everyone to join in but they throw beer cups at him until he sits down
Phillip Blauer: When Costa Pacifica opens, remind me not to do the red carpet in Belfast.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Why would…
Phillip Blauer: I’ve made my ruling!
Guillermo O’Bannon: The much larger Ruben Bowman using his size to put a lot of pressure on the back of Marty’s neck.
Phillip Blauer: We would like to take this time to congratulate Marty’s racing team, Reedy Creek Racing on coming in first at the recent CAR Sippy Cup Qualifier.
Guillermo O’Bannon: What’s this “we” shit?
Richie Richardson checks in but Marty shakes his head. Donovan is able to get to one knee, and then fights his way back to his feet. Marty is able to backpedal into the corner and smashes Bowman into the turnbuckles
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty grabs Bowman by the legs and drops him into an inverted atomic drop. Donovan irish whips Ruben into the ropes and catches him in the face with a flying forearm!
Ruben Bowman no sells and just stares at Marty Donovan, who begs off as the Belfast fans cheer his predicament. Donovan cowardly turns around and tags in Alexander Von Blankenship.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Disney’s Marty Donovan wants no part of Ruben Bowman and cowardly turns around and tags in his partner Alexander Von Blankenship.
Phillip Blauer: Who wants to tangle with a deranged bard? I’d tag out as well.
Alexander Von Blankenship steps through the ropes, and Ulster Hall chants “WHO ARE YA! WHO ARE YA! WHO ARE YA??” Marty Donovan shushes them, as Ruben Bowman motions for AVB to come get some
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship whacks Bowman with a chop, but Ruben responds with a hard right hand. AVB with another chop, and a third sends Bowman into the ropes.
Ruben Bowman smashes AVB with another stiff shot, and another allows Bowman to irish whip AVB into the ropes and catch him with a back elbow
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman lifts Alexander Von Blankenship up into a stalling vertical suplex!
The audience roars at AVB being held upside down, and Bowman waves for more applause from the crowd before he finally drops him. AVB cries out in pain
Guillermo O’Bannon: Bowman lifts AVB into a rear waistlock, but Von Blankenship back elbows him in the face. He turns around and peppers Ruben with a flurry of punches.
Ruben Bowman tries to counter with a kick, but Alexander Von Blankenship catches his leg, and dragon screws him to the mat. The cheers turn to jeers. AVB spreads Bowman’s legs out spread eagle and then kicks him in the side of the knee
Guillermo O’Bannon: AVB stomps Bowman in the kneecap and then tags Marty back in. Von Blankenship holds Bowman by the ankle, and Marty stomps his knee over and over while Richie Richardson lays in the count.
Lynx runs into the ring to help his partner, but Richie Richardson cuts him off; allowing The Anointed to continuously stomp and kick Ruben Bowman’s leg! The Belfast fans boo thunderously
Guillermo O’Bannon: Disney’s Marty Donovan grabs Bowman by the foot and drops down into a leg scissors cross knee lock! Donovan twists Ruben’s foot while clamping down on the scissors.
Richie Richardson checks in but Ruben shakes his head, trying to hold on. Lynx holds the tag rope and reaches out for the tag
Guillermo O’Bannon: The last time Marty was at Irish Rage in Belfast was in 2012 when he successfully defended his Hardkore America Championship over Bruno in a ladder match.
Marty Donovan: Don’t forget, Willow will return on Disney Plus! (Marty rolls to the side to try and twist Bowman’s knee out of its socket) An epic period fantasy series with a modern sensibility set in an enchanted land of breathtaking beauty, you can’t miss it!
Phillip Blauer: I did enjoy the first one, but I do hope this new one answers the question: What kind of lover is Willow?
Ruben Bowman reaches out with his extra long frame and grabs the bottom rope. Richie Richardson forces Marty to break the leg scissors cross knee lock. Marty Donovan climbs to the second turnbuckle and waits for Bowman to get to his feet
Guillermo O’Bannon: Disney’s Marty Donovan jumps off with a reverse huracanrana, but Ruben Bowman catches him and pulls him down into a powerslam!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Marty Donovan kicks out!
Ruben Donovan grabs Marty in a rear waistlock, and then Lynx steps through the ropes.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx cartwheels into a roundhouse kick to Marty Donovan while Ruben Bowman hits a german suplex!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Marty Donovan rolls his shoulder up
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Donovan tags Lynx into the match. Lynx kicks Donovan in the stomach and then drops him with a snap suplex.
The kids cheer! Lynx irish whips Marty Donovan into the ropes and takes him out with a dropkick
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx sets Marty Donovan up for a suplex and then hooks the leg. He flips Marty into a fisherman’s suplex!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Marty Donovan kicks out!
Lynx irish whips Donovan but Marty reverses it and shoots Lynx into the corner. Marty follows him in with a dropkick
Guillermo O’Bannon: Disney’s Marty Donovan sweeps Lynx’s legs out from under him, and then steps out to the apron. Donovan grabs the top rope and slingshots himself over into a basement dropkick into the corner!!
Ulster Hall lets out a collective “OH!!” Marty Donovan tries to rip off Lynx’s mask and the audience boos. Marty rips and tears at his spotted mask while Lynx tries to fight him off
Guillermo O’Bannon: Donovan trying to expose the face of Lynx.
Phil Blauer: It’s a public service. For all we know he could be ducking child support payments. Real men step up, Gaspar.
Donovan tags Alexander Von Blankenship, and then holds him in a full nelson while the Northern Irish crowd jeers The Anointed. AVB hits Lynx with several cheap shots while Marty Donovan holds his arms
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship scoops Lynx up and drops him across his knee with a backbreaker.
AVB lifts Lynx up into a suplex, and then drops his ankles onto the top rope, ricocheting back into a slingshot suplex
…ONE!
…Lynx kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: AVB gets on top of Lynx and slaps him across the face!
The arena rocks with boos while Alexander Von Blankenship gets up and motions for more hate. AVB gets on the second rope and challenges a few guys in the first row to jump into the ring. Ulster Hall security holds them back as AVB waves them on
Guillermo O’Bannon: Von Blankenship steps down and grabs Lynx by the mask. He runs Lynx’s face along the ropes! Lynx tries to answer with a kick, but AVB catches it.
The Belfast fans boo, but their cheers turn to jeers when Lynx comes around with an enzuigiri that rings through Ulster Hall
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx double underhooks AVB’s arms and flips him across the ring with a butterfly suplex!
The crowd pops and then Lynx butterflies Alexander Von Blankenship’s arms again. Lynx flips him into a tiger driver
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Alexander Von Blankenship claps his legs together on Lynx’s head
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx tags in Ruben Bowman! AVB charges him but Bowman flips him across the ring with an overhead belly to belly suplex!
The fans cheer and Alexander Von Blankenship asks for time out. Bowman irish whips AVB into the corner
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman follows him in with a clothesline. Disney’s Marty Donovan comes in, but Lynx does as well and kicks Donovan in the stomach. All four men in the ring!
Phillip Blauer: Katy, bar the door!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx irish whips Marty into the same corner as Alexander Von Blankenship and then Ruben Bowman charges in with an avalanche, squashing The Anointed!!
Ulster Hall roars as both men stagger out of the corner and fall flat on their faces.
The Crowd: (singing) Let’s pretend
Let’s pretend
Let’s pretend Alexander dies
Then the entire audience cheers, jumps, hoots and hollers like the greatest thing just happened while The Anointed recover on the mat
Phillip Blauer: I really don’t see why the Queen wasted blood and treasure keeping this place.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman grabs a dragon sleeper on Alexander Von Blankenship while Richie Richardson gets Lynx and Marty back to their corners.
AVB reaches his hand out for Marty Donovan, while Ruben plants his feet and cranks back on his head and neck. Richie Richardson checks in to see if Blankenship wants to tap out
Guillermo O’Bannon: Disney’s Marty Donovan runs in and catches Bowman from behind with a reverse huracanrana to break the dragon sleeper on AVB!!
The fans boo and Richie Richardson forces Marty Donovan back to his corner. Ruben Bowman crawls over to tag in Lynx. The Belfast crowd roots on Ruben as he crawls over, but Alexander Von Blankenship tags in Donovan first
Phillip Blauer: Marty back in the game!
Guillermo O’Bannon: But Bowman tags in Lynx! Lynx runs and takes out Marty with a spinning heel kick! He charges AVB and drills his skull into the mat with a running DDT!
Ulster Hall is on their feet as Lynx is taking on both of The Anointed. Lynx catches an oncoming Marty with a dropkick
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx half nelson hammerlocks Marty Donovan and then drops him with a tiger suplex!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Marty Donovan rolls his shoulder up
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx pulls Marty up into a half nelson, and then drops him on his head with a wrist clutch exploder!!
The rowdy Northern Irish fans pop loudly and Lynx pulls him up into his Liger Bomb, but Marty Donovan takes him over into a huracanrana
Phillip Blauer: Disney’s Marty Donovan back in control.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Donovan pulls Lynx up into an inverted facelock, then lifts him up into a reverse suplex, but drops him in a snap DDT!! Better Than Cobryn!
Marty Donovan: I LOVE DISNEY PLUS!!!
Ulster Hall boos loudly as Marty Donovan climbs to the top turnbuckle, tucks his head, and flips into a 450 splash
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ode To Romero!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Lynx kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan again trying to pull that mask off of Lynx!
The audience boos while Ruben Bowman complains to Richie Richardson about it. Marty Donovan finally gives up and tags in Alexander Von Blankenship, then pulls Lynx up by the mask.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Donovan hits an inverted atomic drop and Alexander Von Blankenship superkicks him upside the head! Ordained!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Lynx kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship shoots Lynx into the ropes and then drills him into the mat with a spinebuster!
AVB pulls Lynx up into a front facelock and rolls him into a swinging neckbreaker. He lifts Lynx up onto his shoulder and drops him on the back of his head with a barry white driver
Guillermo O’Bannon: Desecration!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Lynx kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship scoops Lynx up, but Lynx falls behind him with an inverted facelock and drops down into a reverse DDT!
The crowd erupts as Lynx tries to crawl towards his corner. Inch by inch he crawls to an awaiting Ruben Bowman, but suddenly Marty Donovan runs in and stomps Lynx in the back of the head. Ulster Hall rocks with boos
Guillermo O’Bannon: Richie Richardson has got to get control of this one.
Phillip Blauer: Yeah, good luck with that with Richie in there.
Guillermo O’Bannon: AVB gets to his feet and stomps and kicks the downed Lynx. He scoops him up again, and this time successfully fallaway slams him across the ring.
The audience boos as Von Blankenship kips up to his feet, seemingly very impressed with himself. Marty Donovan applauds on the outside. Ulster Hall chants “WHO ARE YA! WHO ARE YA! WHO ARE YA??”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship butterflies Lynx’s arms, lifts him up and drives his face into the mat with Purification!!
AVB pulls Lynx up by the mask and irish whips him into the ropes. Lynx hops onto the middle of the second rope and backflips into a springboard moonsault body press that pops the crowd
Guillermo O’Bannon: This time Lynx is able to tag in the big man Ruben Bowman! Bowman. Bowman comes in and flips Alexander Von Blankenship end over end with a lariat! He drops a leg across AVB’s face.
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Alexander Von Blankenship kicks out!
Disney’s Marty Donovan tries to sneak up on Ruben by climbing up to the top turnbuckle, but Lynx comes over and dropkicks the rope, crotching Donovan on the turnbuckles
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman plucks Donovan off the the turnbuckle, and then walks him out to the center of the ring and drops him in a muscle buster!!
Phillip Blauer: Come on, poor Marty’s not even the legal man in the ring! Doesn’t he have a poem about fair play?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship is waiting for him and irish whips Bowman into the corner. Bowman ducks a clothesline in the corner and hits the ropes. AVB staggers out of the corner and Bowman nearly takes his head off with a big boot!
An excited Ruben Bowman climbs to the top turnbuckle for a moonsault, but Donovan runs over and pushes Bowman, this time crotching him on the turnbuckle! Ulster Hall rocks with boos and Bowman falls like a tree to the mat
Phillip Blauer: What a teammate!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan saving AVB’s skin there.
Bowman holds his balls while Alexander Von Blankenship struggles to get to his feet. He yells out
Alexander Von Blankenship: Always Very Blessed!!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship pulls him Ruben Bowman up into a single underhook.
A monster heel pop as the fans jeer the familiar move as AVB mocks Syberus
Phillip Blauer: He’s going to hit The Pure Confidence, Syberus’ move, right here in Belfast! Hilarious! Is that one of those ribs I’ve heard about?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus slides into the ring!
The fans come unglued as Alexander Von Blankenship ditches Ruben and goes chest to chest with Syberus, chanting “SYBERUS!!! SYBERUS!!! SYBERUS!!!”
Phillip Blauer: Richie Richardson’s got to get control of this thing!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan tries to sneak up on the Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion but Lynx catches him with a springboard knee!!
Alexander Von Blankenship smiles and goes to hit the ropes, but turns around into a black hole slam by Ruben Bowman
Guillermo O’Bannon: Poetry in Motion!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
….THREE!
The Belfast fans jump to their feet and Lynx and Ruben Bowman celebrate!! ”Taurus Shrine” (PSP Mix) by Ryota Koduka plays as Syberus rolls out of the ring and points at The Anointed
Greg Jin: “At 13 minutes 32 seconds, THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH, ADVANCING TO THE FINALS…LYNX & RUBEN BOWMAN!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: What an upset! And there’s a receipt for that vicious attack The Anointed committed in Los Angeles on Syberus and Kilroy Evans.
Phillip Blauer: They're still not over that??
The kids in Lynx masks jump up and down in jubilation! Marty Donovan and Alexander Von Blankenship are inconsolable as they berate Richie Richardson for allowing Syberus to enter the ring
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx and Ruben Bowman now await the winner of Kilroy Evans and Tuxedo Mask taking on The Oracles of Suffering at the end of the night
***local commercial***
Open on a farmer standing near a chicken coup in coveralls.
Curtis Sweeney: Hello, my name is Curtis Sweeney from Sweeney Chicken Farms. We are a cruelty free chicken ranch. But here, we take it to another level. We use positive reinforcements to make our chickens the best tasting around. We tell them things like “Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off your goal”…. which makes em extra juicy.
Curtis walks over and points to a hen.
Curtis Sweeney: Like take this one for example, a single mother, she just got her GED despite having a learning disability while taking night classes.
Close up of the chicken as she pecks the ground
Curtis Sweeney: Now, you batter her up, throw her in the fryer, and then cover her in some country gravy. I don’t think you can go wrong, buddy. And that’s due to the encouragement and support we provide that I believe ultimately creates a better tasting chicken. Like I won’t even sell Cecil.
Shot cuts to rooster eyeing Curtis
Curtis Sweeney: That boy’s just got negative vibes. Throws off the gosh darn chakras for the whole barn. I won’t subject anyone to what that toxic chicken probably tastes like. So next time you buy chicken for your family, make sure it’s the well adjusted chickens from Sweeney’s Chicken Farms, and we thank you for doing so.
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Kilroy
.::XHF Newcomer::.
Posts: 46
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Post by Kilroy on Aug 30, 2022 23:21:17 GMT -5
[The shot cuts to Kilroy Evans sitting at a table in catering. He's on his phone, typing something out.]
Kilroy Evans: Hey Tux, come find me when you have a chance. I've got some intel that should make things a whole lot easier for us. Also, I've been saying this all out loud while I type for no particular reason. And...send!
[Kilroy stops typing and lays his phone down.]
Kilroy Evans: Alright, back to work.
[Kilroy picks up a book and highlighter from off the ground. He opens it and the camera sees the title: "SILENT HILL 3 - OFFICIAL STRATEGY GUIDE." He taps the highlighter to his chin as he reads.]
Kilroy Evans: Ooh...
[Kilroy carefully highlights a passage as the camera cuts to elsewhere.]
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Post by Jonnie Valentine on Aug 31, 2022 3:53:19 GMT -5
Fade back up on Phil and Guillermo ringside at Ulster Hall
Phillip Blauer: Is this over yet? Jeez louise. And in the name of The Beverly Brothers, would Kilroy Evans take this tournament seriously? Silent Hill...it's not even Christmas, by cracky.
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Oracles of Suffering and the team of Tuxedo Mask & Kilroy Evans wrestle to decide who will face Lynx and Ruben Bowman at the end of tonight. Kilroy Evans has a special bone to pick with The Oracles, namely “Deathstryke” Cyan Komar, who cost him the LA Freeway match at Palm Springs Punishment 2022.
"Rock Club" by Family Jules plays and the Belfast fans roar as Kilroy Evans and Tuxedo Mask walk out. Tuxedo Mask sweeps his long cape behind him before he poses on the left side of the ramp while Kilroy nods to the beat as he scans the crowd. Then Tux quickly darts to the other side, waving his cape towards the other side as he stares down at the crowd. Kilroy Evans walks down to the ring, bumping fists with a few of the Belfast fans, while Tuxedo Mask heads for the ring, pausing to fling the cape aside. Kilroy laughs at the signs that say “The Oracles Are Muppets”, “Kilroy Is A Lad”, and “I’d Fancy A Shag, Tux” before pausing to pose for some selfies with fans who have wanted him to return since 2012.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans and Tuxedo Mask making their grand returns to Belfast after 10 long years away, and will you listen to this crowd?
Phillip Blauer: Maybe if these people had shown the same respect to The Anointed, they wouldn’t have lost.
Guillermo O’Bannon: This is a dream of Kilroy’s, to team with Tuxedo Mask.
Phillip Blauer: Probably a dream he had napping on a porch until a pie cooling on a windowsill woke him up.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Look at the smile on Kilroy’s face. He has vowed that no matter what The Anointed or The Oracles of Suffering do to him, they will not make him lose the enjoyment he has wrestling in front of Hardkore crowds.
Kilroy Evans finally reaches the ring, walking around the outside to deliver more high fives before he rolls under the ropes. Kilroy shrugs, and then leans against the ropes with a glance at the ramp. Tuxedo Mask does a cartwheel on the outside, and then vaults into the ring with a somersault! The fans cheer, and he sweeps into a bow before he nods at Kilroy before he leans back in the turnbuckle.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Both Tux and Kilroy didn’t like how things ended in Los Angeles, and they are determined not to let that happen again tonight here in Belfast. Tux called his old pal two time Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Adrian Faust…
Phillip Blauer: Did he answer: (does Lurch voice) “You rang?”
Guillermo O’Bannon: …to ask him about goth, to try and get inside The Oracles of Suffering’s mindset.
Phillip Blauer: Sounds like a depressing call to make.
Greg Jin: “The following contest is part of the Hardkore World Tag Team Title Tournament. It is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Kelly O’Connell. Featuring first, from Tokushima, Japan; Standing 5 feet 8 inches tall; Weighing 185 pounds. He is the uncommon kamen, a connoisseur and a lady lure…TUXEDO MASK!! His partner is from Attbury, South Carolina; He stands 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 245 pounds The Attbury Assassin and Your Boy Kilroy…KILROY EVANS!!”
Ulster fans roar and then start singing to the tune of Seven Nation Army
Crowd: Kil-roy-oy-ooooy!
Kil-roy-oy-ooooy!
Kil-roy-oy-ooooy!
Kilroy Evans has a smile a mile wide across his face. Tuxedo Mask gets on the second rope and waves them on that he’s there too.
Then the lights go black, and only a few flickering points of light appear in the darkness.
And then as the music soars, a figure appears wreathed in a bright glow before the lights start to strobe revealing Poena standing in the center. He stands arms outspread, face and palms towards the heavens. On his right hand kneels Malcolm Xavier Graves, on the other kneels Cyan ‘Deathstrike’ Komar. Poena pauses, looking upwards before he lays a hand on each of their heads.
Phillip Blauer: I just think it’s nice those three found a common interest. You know, it’s hard for men to connect sometimes, Greta.
Guillermo O’Bannon: After shocking the West Coast with the formation of The Oracles of Suffering, Poena has promised to bring “holy pain to all the non-believers.”
Phillip Blauer: I hope they’re not talking about me. I gave at the office.
Poena steps forward, staring at the fans as his fingers restlessly move over the rosary wrapped around his fingers. His mouth moves slowly as though in prayer, his eyes narrowed on the ring. Cyan moves behind him, clearly ready for a fight as MXG brings up the rear as he mocks the jeering fans.
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Oracles of Suffering seem to have combined the best of all four men. Malcolm Xavier Graves’ brains, Poena’s silver tongue, Cyan Komar’s expertise, and The Sheik’s barbarism. Now they hope this will be enough to defeat Tux, and Kilroy and go on to win the tag team titles in the final against Lynx and Ruben Bowman later tonight in the finals.
Poena stops at the ring stairs, looking heavenward again as his mouth moves slowly before he gives a nod. Cyan rolls inside of the ring, coming to a crouch between the others and the corner as Poena steps between the ropes.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Poena has promised unspeakable pain tonight for Kilroy, whom he has tormented for months, starting with sending “Deathstryke” Cyan Komar to cost him the LA Freeway match against his disciple The Sheik at Palm Springs Punishment 2022.
Greg Jin: “And their opponents, from Hong Kong, China; Standing 6 feet 1 inch tall; Weighing 215 pounds…’DEATHSTRYKE’ CYAN KOMAR!! His partner is from The Ninth Deep; Standing 6 feet tall, weighing 190 pounds…POENA, THE SANCTIFIED!! They are THE ORACLES OF SUFFERING!!!”
Ulster Hall boos as Poena holds his arms out and Cyan Komar bows to him.
Crowd: Dooon’t take me home,
Please don’t take me home
I just don’t want to go to work
I wanna stay here, drink all the beer
Please don’t, don’t take me hooome!
Dooon’t take me home,
Please don’t take me home
I just don’t want to go to work
I wanna stay here, drink all the beer
Please don’t, don’t take me hooome!
Hardkore World Tag Team Title Tournament Match
The Oracles of Suffering vs. Kilroy Evans and Tuxedo Mask
Malcolm Xavier Graves stalks around the outside, and smirks up at Kilroy. Tux starts the match on his side, grinning across the ring as he adjusts his tie. Poena glares at him, and grabs Cyan’s shoulder before pointing at him. Cyan nods grimly, and Kelly O’Connell calls for the bell.
Phil Blauer: Kelly O’Connell here in front of her countrymen. They must be proud to see one of their rabble do well.
Guillermo O’Bannon: I’m fairly certain Kelly is from Rancho Cucamonga.
Tuxedo comes in slowly, clearly looking for a lock up as he lifts his white gloved hands. But then
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Deathstryke” Cyan Komar starts to fire off chops across Tuxedo Mask’s chest, rocking him backwards before he flings him at the ropes! Cyan Komar hits the other rope, twisting in the air to spin in the air before he drives a foot into Tux’s ribs!!
Tuxedo Mask crumbles, falling hard against the ropes as Cyan lands with a smirk cast at Kilroy. Kilroy fumes and starts between the ropes, and Kelly O’Connell admonishes him.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Malcolm Xavier Graves grabs Tuxedo Mask’s head, choking him over the lower ropes! Come on!
Phillip Blauer: That’s just good representation.
The fans boo, and Kilroy struggles to convince Kelly O’Connell as he tries to get inside the ring. Poena nods with approval, and MXG backs up with his hands in the air as O’Connell finally turns back to the scene.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cyan Komar pulls Tuxedo Mask to his feet, shaking his head as Poena berates Tuxedo Mask from the corner. But Tux grabs Cyan, hitting a snap suplex before he darts forward to come off the middle rope for a senton sault!
Ulster Hall pops, and Tuxedo Mask goes for the cover but Cyan Komar snaps a kick upwards across Tux’s head as the cheers turn to jeers
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask staggers before “Deathstryke” Cyan Komar grabs him with a claw to the head. His fingers dig in, squeezing and jerking as he backs towards the ropes to make the tag to Poena.
The Belfast audience boos the entrance of Poena as he smirks at Kilroy. Poena batters a few hard forearms across Tux’s back.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Poena, The Sanctified grabs Tux’s leg, holding it out with a quick nod to Cyan! Cyan backs up, and then drives a brutal looking kick into the outstretched limb!
Poena hits the dragonscrew off the recoil, and Tux grabs at his leg as he shakes his head. Kelly O’Connell tries to break up the double team, and Cyan runs forward to drive his foot into the face of Kilroy! Poena makes the cover, and the jeers are thundering down from the fans.
…ONE!
…Tuxedo Mask kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Poena is furious, staring at Tuxedo Mask before he starts slapping him across the face.
Phillip Blauer: Put that one on my bucket list.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Poena grabs Tux by the hair. Demanding he repent before he locks on a kneeling armbar, yanking back on it as the fans are now taunting The Oracles of Suffering
Crowd: (singing and dancing) Yaya
Yaya yaya
Yaya yaya
Poena!
Kolo
Kolo kolo
Kolo kolo
Komar!
Yaya
Yaya yaya
Yaya yaya
Poena!
Kolo
Kolo kolo
Kolo kolo
Komar!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo grabs for the ropes, straining to get free. Kilroy dives inside, and hits a hard clothesline on Cyan before he crashes into Poena to break the kneeling armbar!
Kilroy gets a few stiff kicks in before he drags Tux towards their corner. The fans are cheering and Tux rolls over as he reaches for the tag. Poena grabs his ankle, dragging him backwards with a laugh cast at Kilroy as he screams
Poena, The Sanctified: ‘THIS IS YOUR FAULT! YOUR FAULT!’
Phillip Blauer: He’s probably right, most things are.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Poena, The Sanctified drives stiff elbows into Tux’s head, and then he grabs his head to bounce it against the mat a few times.
Kilroy is furious, trying to get back inside as Kelly O’Connell pushes him back. And Cyan Komar is back on his feet, the Oracles dragging Tuxedo Mask back to his feet.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Poena points at the corner, and then drags Mask upwards to plant him with a brainbuster! And Cyan barrels forward, hitting a double foot running stomp before he make the pin!
The Northern Irish fans are livid, and Kelly O’Connell dives for the count.
…ONE!
…TWO
…Kilroy breaks the pin again
Guillermo O’Bannon: Loud cheers for Kilroy before he is leveled with a running Yakuza Kick from Poena!
Poena laughs, and Malcolm Xavier Graves applauds on the outside as Kelly O’Connell tries to get control of the match
Guillermo O’Bannon: Poena kicks Kilroy from the ring, and then returns to his corner as Cyan smirks at the very battered Tuxedo Mask.
Poena yells something, making ripping motions with his hands.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Deathstryke” Cyan grabs Tux’s shirt, ripping and tearing at it. Shredding it away as he chokes him with the tie!
Phil Blauer: Tux committing the sin of gaudy garb.
Cyan Komar flings the shirt aside, and stalks back and forth. Kelly O’Connell tries to get him back in control
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kelly O’Connell doesn’t see Malcolm Xavier Graves snap his cane across the back of the rising Kilroy!!
Phillip Blauer: Soon Kilroy is going to have more of MXG’s cane welts than Tomko had tattoos.
The Belfast fans are furious, and Poena lifts his face and palms towards the heavens as he loudly prays.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cyan Komar grabs Tuxedo Mask, and irish whips him but Tux reverses it and Komar crashes into the turnbuckle.
Ulster Hall explodes as Cyan Komar sprawls against the lower ropes. Tuxedo Mask wastes no time, and he charges across the ring to hit a handspring before nailing a broncobuster on the downed Komar! The fans are loving it
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tux Buster! Tuxedo rolls off before he runs to crack an elbow across the face of the gaping Poena!
The fans are going wild, and Tux is too before he grabs Malcolm Xavier Graves who is on the apron!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Oh! Graves wants to get involved in this match?
Phillip Blauer: Oh, look at the tough guy messing with a 180 pound manager.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tux is 180 pounds.
Phillip Blauer: Point taken.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask grabs Graves’ head, running it along the ropes before slamming his head into the ringpost!!
The place is exploding with chants of “TUX!! TUX!! TUX!!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tux jerks MXG into the ring before he snaps a kick across his face!
Philip Blauer: By Jove, the man is an intellectual!
Tuxedo Mask dives across the ring, and makes the tag to the clearly furious Kilroy.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy steps through the ropes, and runs forward to drive a shotgun dropkick into the face of Malcolm Xavier Graves!!
The First Disciple of Poena slams hard into the turnbuckles, and Kilroy mounts the middle rope to start hammering punches down on him.
Guillermo O’Bannon: This is Kilroy’s first match in Belfast since 2012 when he defeated The Shootfighter in a Kilroy’s House of Fun Match, and he is making up for lost time with those blows!
The fans are eating it up, and “Deathstryke” Cyan Komar is back on his feet bouncing off the middle rope to snap a kick across Kilroy’s back.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy falls, and Cyan grabs him before he hits a hard suplex before tagging in the Sanctified One! Poena comes in and lifts him up in a suplex of his own before dropping him on his face with a gourdbuster!
Cyan Komar claps from the apron as Poena glares at his downed foe before he starts to yell at him once more.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Poena, The Sanctified slaps Kilroy a few times across the back of the head, then kicks him over. But Evans comes back to life, grabbing him to roll through with an inside cradle!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Poena kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Poena is on his feet, furious. Kilroy Evans kicks him in the stomach, and double arm DDT!
Poena is down, and Kilroy stares at him. The fans jump up and down singing in the Seven Nation Army tune
Crowd: Kil-roy-oy-ooooy!
Kil-roy-oy-ooooy!
Kil-roy-oy-ooooy!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans runs forward to drive a fist into the face of Komar as he comes through the ropes! He irish whips Cyan Komar into the ropes before hitting a huge spinebuster!
Kilroy grabs for Poena but the Sanctified One rolls to the outside
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy turns and grabs the cane as it is swung at his head by Malcolm Xavier Graves!
The Belfast fans let out an earsplitting pop as MXG’s eyes bug out while Kilroy holds the cane. Graves stammers his excuses for trying to take his head off only seconds earlier
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans rips the cane away, and flinging it aside before he hits his Bad Touch diamond cutter!!
Crowd: Kil-roy-oy-ooooy!
Kil-roy-oy-ooooy!
Kil-roy-oy-ooooy!
Kilroy Evans glares down at Poena, motioning him inside as the Sanctified One shakes his head sadly. His hands lift, palms and face turned heavenwards as he announces
Poena, The Sanctified: Father forgive him.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy starts forward only to be ripped around by Cyan Komar! A palm strike drives into his face, and he staggers before Komar spins and hammers his fingers into his shoulder. Kilroy’s arm goes limp, and then he hits the ropes to crack a bicycle kick across his head! Now Poena is brave enough to step back in the corner, and makes the tag.
Ulster Hall boos and Cyan Komar tangles his and Kilroy’s legs as Poena runs into the ropes
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Oracles of Suffering waste no time, hitting another double team on Kilroy Evans with a big boot and a russian legsweep!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Kilroy Evans gets his foot on the rope!
Poena screams at Kelly O’Connell, pointing and yelling at her. Kilroy is dazed, and rolls across the mat before he slides across the ring to reach out for the battered looking Tuxedo Mask, and then tags him in
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tux is back in the ring, and he charges at Poena, hitting a handspring before he hurricanranas the turning Poena!!
Tuxedo Mask gets underneath Poena with a saito suplex, then he bridges the leg
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tux Plex ‘99!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Poena gets his shoulder up!
Tuxedo Mask steps out to the apron and waits for Poena to get to his feet. The fans stomp their feet in anticipation, and Tux jumps off with a springboard dragonrana, but Poena powerbombs him into the turnbuckle!! The audience lets out a collective “OH!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Poena hits the ropes and leaps in the air, catching a stumbling Tuxedo Mask with a flying Personal Jesus lariat!!
Poena tags in “Deathstryke” Cyan Komar, who climbs to the top turnbuckle from the inside of the ring while the crowd boos. Poena, The Sanctified lifts Tux into a suplex and then drops him on his head with a brainbuster! Immediately, Cyan Komar backflips off into a moonsault double stomp
Guillermo O’Bannon: Sternum Buster!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Tuxedo Mask kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cyan Komar irish whips Tuxedo Mask into the ropes and then flips him into a tiltawhirl backbreaker!
Tuxedo Mask sits up with his back arched in pain. The female fans start chanting “GO TUX GO! GO TUX GO! GO TUX GO!” Komar motions for Tux to get to his feet and then spears him, but suddenly reverses his momentum and lifts Tux onto his shoulder. Komar then drops Tux head first
Guillermo O’Bannon: Bull Rush!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Tuxedo Mask kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Deathstryke” Cyan Komar hammers Tux with those open palm strikes. He pulls Tux to his feet and smacks him with a reverse knife edge chop. Another blistering chop to Tux’s chest.
Komar hits Tux with one chop after another that are so hard that Ulster Hall lets out a collective “OH!” after each one. Then he catches Tux in the side of the ribs with a side kick
Guillermo O’Bannon: Komar goes upstairs with another open hand palm strike to the face, but Tux drops to a split and hits Komar low!
Phillip Blauer: That’s dirty pool, mister.
The fans erupt with cheers as Komar holds his balls and Tux stays in the split with his fist up. Tux shakes for a while and then realizes the predicament he has Komar in. Tuxedo Mask pumphandles Komar up into a juvi driver
Guillermo O’Bannon: Rosegarden!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Cyan Komar kicks out!
Greg Jin: “Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask crawls over to tag in Kilroy Evans but Poena, The Sanctified runs into the ring and dives into a knee clip to the back of Tux’s leg! He atomic drops Tux into a northern lights suplex by “Deathstryke” Cyan Komar!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Kilroy Evans stomps Komar’s stomach!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans in the ring now and catches an oncoming Poena with a drop toehold. He grabs Poena around the face with a bulldog!
Crowd: Kil-roy-oy-ooooy!
Kil-roy-oy-ooooy!
Kil-roy-oy-ooooy!
Kelly O’Connell tries to get Kilroy and Poena out of the ring while “Deathstryke” Cyan Komar fireman’s carries Tuxedo Mask up onto his shoulders and then sits him on the top turnbuckle
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy grabs Poena by the wrist and pulls him in for a short arm, but Poena counters with a lariat!
Cyan Komar steps up on the second turnbuckle, meanwhile, outside of the ring, Malcolm Xavier Graves finally gets to his feet. He tosses his walking cane over the ropes and Poena catches it
Guillermo O’Bannon: Poena, The Sanctified swings that cane but Kilroy roundhouse kicks the cane into Poena’s face!!
The Belfast fans roar and Malcolm Xavier Graves demands a disqualification from Kelly O’Connell! Kilroy takes the cane and breaks it across the back of Cyan Komar’s head!! Tuxedo Mask butterflies Komar’s arms and flips over into a double underhook sunset bomb
Guillermo O’Bannon: Moonlight Waltz!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THREE!
“Zerospace” by Kidneythieves plays as the Northern Irish fans leap to their feet. Kilroy Evans lifts a bewildered Tuxedo Mask to his feet in jubilation. Kelly O’Connell looks at the broken cane with confusion
Greg Jin: “At 22 minutes, 52 seconds; THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH, ADVANCING TO THE FINALS…TUXEDO MASK & KILROY EVANS!!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Malcolm Xavier Graves tried to help Poena with his cane and wound up getting The Oracles of Suffering eliminated from the Hardkore World Tag Team Tournament and now Tuxedo Mask and Kilroy Evans go on to face Lynx and Ruben Bowman in the finals!
Crowd: Kil-roy-oy-ooooy!
Kil-roy-oy-ooooy!
Kil-roy-oy-ooooy!
Kilroy Evans and Tuxedo Mask slap the fans’ hands as they walk to the back. A Belfast woman leans over the guardrail and kisses Tuxedo Mask. Tux begins walking away, stops, and then goes back to ask for her number
Phillip Blauer: That poor woman is about to have that man crashing with her every Irish Rage in Belfast for the rest of her youth.
Back in the ring, Poena and Malcolm Xavier Graves look down on Cyan Komar as he pulls himself up by the ropes. Komar bows apologetically, and Poena tells him it’s fine
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik now in the ring to join The Oracles of Suffering.
Phillip Blauer: Good bunch of joes there. They work hard, they play hard.
Cyan Komar begins explaining to Malcolm Xavier Graves about the cane shot to the back of his head when The Sheik comes from behind with a chair and bends the frame of it on Komar’s skull!! Ulster Hall lets out an “OH!!” at the sound of the metal meeting skull. The timekeeper rings the bell
Guillermo O’Bannon: What?? What is happening? Poena, The Sanctified hooks Cyan Komar by the arms and flips him into a floatover crucifix bomb!!
Phillip Blauer: I believe Cyan Komar is receiving his quarterly review.
The Belfast fans shower boos down on The Oracles of Suffering as Malcolm Xavier Graves holds Komar’s legs while Poena holds Komar’s arms. The Sheik climbs to the top turnbuckles holding a chair
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik jumps off the top rope with an arabian facebuster legdrop with that chair!! I can’t believe it. Cyan Komar put his career on the line for Poena and his sick cult, and this is the thanks he gets for losing one match??
Phillip Blauer: Who knew religion could be so judgemental?
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik and Poena pull Cyan Komar up and hold him by the arms. What are they going to do?
Ulster Hall rocks with anger as Malcolm Xavier Graves fiddles with something in his hand a for a few moments. It starts to take too long, and Cyan Komar begins struggling to let go. Graves begins to panic
Phillip Blauer: Whatever is happening, the window might be closing.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Graves throws a huge fireball in Komar’s face!!! His ponytail has caught fire!
Komar beats out the fire on the back length ponytail, and then covers his face; flopping around the mat like a fish. The Belfast fans jeer Poena as he pretends to warm his hands over Komar. Graves cackles and joins in, as The Sheik glares at the crowd motioning for them to do something about it
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Oracles of Suffering appear to be saying that they have purified Deathstryke by fire, a sick thing to do to someone they called a friend not 5 minutes ago.
Phillip Blauer: I gotta say, Poena doesn’t seem to be a real friend type guy. Who would ride with this guy?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Poena staring into the camera, right into your living rooms!
Poena: “We have opened a spot for you, Brother Yorlik! Stand in the ashes of Brother Komar!”
Poena laughs maniacally while Malcolm Xavier Graves worships him. The Sheik stomps the burned Cyan Komar over and over
Guillermo O’Bannon: I have no idea what he’s talking about Just despicable from a group I didn’t think I could think much less of.
The Oracles of Suffering leave the ring and The Sheik picks up a chair, and has to swat it into the air to clear a way back to the locker room for Malcolm Xavier Graves and Poena, The Sanctified.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Coming up fans, we have the first title defense of the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship with that man right there, the Hardkore West Coast Champion The Sheik challenging Syberus.
Phillip Blauer: Ah yes, both men decided to spend their prep time interfering in the tag team title tournament. We’ll see if that’s a wise decision, or crazy in the coconut.
When the coast is clear, Hardkore medical personnel rush to Cyan Komar’s aid, and start pouring water on his burns.
Phillip Blauer: You know, I’d like to think Andrew Karnage is out there somewhere, smiling at all this.
Guillermo O’Bannon: I don’t doubt it. We also have the final round of the Hardkore World Tag Team Championship where it will be Lynx & Ruben Bowman challenging Kilroy Evans and Tuxedo Mask to crown the first champions since neXt in 2010. Back here in Belfast, Northern Ireland at Irish Rage in Belfast 2022!
“Deathstryke” Cyan Komar is carried out of the ring on a stretcher with wet towels wrapped around his face while worried EMTs shout readings to one another as the camera fades
( The shot fades up on a clearly green screened background of Palm Springs. Marty Donovan walks into frame, wearing makeup and a wig that gives him the appearance of an old man. His look is completed with sandals, jorts, and a t-shirt that reads “ Grandpa is the name! Spoiling is the game!”.) Marty: Ah, beautiful Palm Springs! Time to kick off snowbird season with some upskirt shots of the Forever Marilyn statue. ( Marty’s assistant Ollie walks into the frame. She is dressed like one of the students in Stand and Deliver complete with a bandana, painted on goatee, and a plastic switchblade comb. She brandishes the weapon while smiling, just happy to be involved, making no attempt to sound Hispanic.) Ollie: Not so fast,ese. I’ve been loco ever since Gavin cared more about crushing Georgia Film than saving the UFW. We’re going to have some fun at the cactarium. Marty: No please! Not the spines on my pale flesh! (The shot freezes as Ollie tackles Marty. A poorly chroma keyed, middle aged man walks into the frame. He has thick glasses and a gray mustache. The man’s scrawny build is on display in a black and yellow horizontal striped wrestling singlet. He lets out a little chuckle.) Dana: Boy, if I had a nickel for every time this happened to me. You just want to enjoy scenic Palm Springs without being ravaged in a botanical garden. If only there was a solution! Hi folks. I’m Dana “The Drone” Daniels. I know what you’re thinking. Isn’t Dana a girl's name? Yes, it is. I know the other thing you’re thinking too. (The shot changes to a family reunion photo. In the center Greg “The Great” Daniels holds up a championship belt while his relatives smile. In the background of the shot, in another room, Dana eats a plate of meatballs alone. Red sauce has spilled all over his bee themed sweater.) Dana: Yes, Greg “The Great” Daniels is my ex-wife's nephew, but he isn’t the only wrestler in the family. ( We see grainy footage of a tiny VFW show. Four wrestlers in the ring put the boots to a prone man in a beekeeper outfit which slowly stains red. A mother flees ringside with a crying child. Text at the bottom of the screen reads “ONLY KNOWN FOOTAGE”.) Dana: Yes, I’ve had two illustrious careers. One was in the ring and one was in the bee yard. Thanks to my dual expertise there is a new self-defense product on the market. (We see footage of Dana outside at his honey farm. He scoops a large amount of bees into a thermos and then seals the lid. He spins the container around so we can see the label. It reads “PLAN BEE” and has a cartoon logo of a burglar being swarmed by angry bees.) Dana: When plan A falls apart then it is time for Plan Bee! Simply shake your container of bees, twist the lid loose, and toss towards the car thief, gangbanger or abortion rights activist. Here is a quick demonstration. ( The shot changes to Marty and Ollie covered in sweat, looking miserable in front of the same green screen. It is clearly a clip that was meant to be edited out.) Marty: They still haven’t fixed the audio? This is absurd! You promised this would be a twenty minutes shoot. I am only here out of respect to Greg. I don’t even know you. We’re doing one take and that is it! Ollie: Remember what Dana said, babe. Don’t actually open the container. He has live bees in it. Marty: Duh, I’m Ollie the idiot. I better warn Marty not to open a box of bees. Does anyone have some glue for me to eat? (Ollie begins to sob uncontrollably.) Ollie: I am the one person who has your back. I move heaven and Earth for you. I bought our costumes. Marty: Welp, here comes the water works. (The scene jump cuts to a later moment. Ollie approaches Marty with the switchblade, but he holds up the thermos.) Marty: I ain’t your love bug, Chicano. Now BEE GONE! (Sure as shit, Marty pops the lid off the thermos. Panic erupts as everyone else in the room flees. Marty shakes his head in disbelief.) Marty: Where are you going? It's a million degrees and the thermos has no air holes. You honestly think there are any bees still alive? (Marty smugly holds the thermos up to his face as a swarm of angry bees fly out. He flails around in terror before crashing into the camera. The feed turns to static. The shot changes back to Dana sitting in his bee yard.) Dana: So live the snowbird life you deserve. When plan A is foiled then turn to PLAN BEE! (Dana looks directly into the camera, getting emotional.) Dana: I know the other, other thing you are thinking too. Is he still using his ex-wife’s surname? The answer is yes. No matter what happens, a drone is loyal to his queen. I miss you, Jodie. Please call me. (Two numbers appear on the screen. One is to order the product and the other is for Jodie to reconnect with Dana. The shot fades out.)
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Post by Crimson Mask II on Aug 31, 2022 5:16:14 GMT -5
The scene opens with Lynx standing in front of the camera, arms crossed on his chest. He takes some deep breaths and starts speaking in an enthusiastic tone.
“The Anointed thinking, they are the best thing ever, since sliced bread. Well, we proved to them that talent isn’t something you can turn a blind eye to. The Anointed aren’t the only ones with skill in this federation. If you think you own every bit of talent in this world and have no need for improvement, then dear friends you will find yourself with the back on the mat, staring at the ceiling lights, with your very own lights out, pinned for the one, two three.
That’s the story for these two as far as this tourney goes.”
Lynx points at the camera, giving a thumbs down after a second. He points at the camera again, resuming his speech after a bit.
“Lynx and Ruben Bowman are on to the tourney final, patiently awaiting their next opponents. Kilroy and Tux won their fight and will face us for the belts. The two are a heavy barrel full of talent and achievements and it will be an honor and a pleasure to fight them in the main event of this evening.”
Lynx crosses his arms on his chest again, looking at the concrete, and after a few seconds of thoughtful silence continues his speech.
“Kilroy, Tux, bring your A game into this match, for I assure you that Lynx and Ruben Bowman will do the same. I have never faced Kilroy Evans in a fight, and I will be proud to do so in this tag team match. I have a victory over Tux but every fight is another story and this isn’t a one-on-one battle. Kilroy has a lot of experience in these fights, and I can not say the same about me. Yet, if a man wouldn’t have been able to go beyond every new challenge, then there would have been any evolution in history, yet history tells us that humans surpass challenges new for them every day.”
Lynx points at the camera, continuing his talking
“Kilroy, Tux, I go into this match with high hopes and dignity. I will do everything in my might to make this fight one to remember. I hope you will do the same.”
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Post by Jonnie Valentine on Sept 5, 2022 14:06:08 GMT -5
Fade back up on Guillermo and Phil, smiling at ringside
Guillermo O’Bannon: Coming up fans is the first title defense of the Hardkore World Championship since Kilroy Evans vs. Bruno in Philadelphia in 2012. Syberus puts his championship on the line against the Hardkore West Coast Champion The Sheik and his Oracles of Suffering.
Phillip Blauer: He can scratch Cyan Komar off his list of worries. Guy is in rough shape.
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik has been unstoppable as of late, and is much different than anyone Syberus has faced since he returned to the ring. Throw in the Oracles of Suffering, and the Hardkore World Champion may be outnumbered in this one.
“Seasons in the Abyss” by Stone Sour plays and Ulster Hall rocks with boos. Malcolm Xavier Graves walks out with The Sheik and recoils at the vitriol. With the Hardkore West Coast Championship wrapped around his waist, The Sheik blindly punches his way through the aisleway, as the Ulster Hall security guards struggle to restrain the fans by the railings. A fan holds up a sign that says “The Oracles Are Muppets”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Malcolm Xavier Graves claims Hardkore World is unclean, and The Sheik and The Oracles of Suffering are here to sanitize it through their wanton brand of violence and chaos.
Phillip Blauer: We’ve tried everything else.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Graves says that Poena, The Sanctified commanded him to deliver the Hardkore World Championship to The Oracles of Suffering, and that is what The Sheik is going to do.
The Sheik circles the ringside area while Malcolm Xavier Graves follows him around. Sheik hands his Hardkore West Coast Championship to MXG and then rolls into the ring
Guillermo O’Bannon: MXG is hoping to capitalize on The Sheik’s youth, saying that it’s been a while since Syberus has been champion and maybe he’s no longer up to the task.
Phillip Blauer: Boy, Father Time is undefeated. Did you know I need Dorothy’s nurse to give me propofol to fall asleep these days?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Jesus, Phil, that’s not good. Is it insomnia?
Phillip Blauer: No, it’s the dang fangled voices of those I’ve wronged floating to the surface every evening. I’ve tried warm milk, counting sheep, and night screams but I just can’t get it licked until Dorothy’s doctor and I had a dispute over his invoices, and he suddenly suggested this.
The Sheik paces back and forth while Malcolm Xavier Graves holds up the Hardkore West Coast Championship
Greg Jin: “The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Tommy Milligan. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by his manager, Malcolm Xavier Graves…”
The Belfast fans cut Greg off with loud boos
Greg Jin: “He comes from The Empty Quarter, Arabia; Standing 6 feet tall; Weighing 235 pounds; He is Chosen of the Almighty, he is the Champion of the Sanctified, and he is the force of Redemption, but most of all, he is The Current HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION…THE SHEIK!!!”
Ulster Hall rocks with boos and then they taunt Shiek
Crowd: WHO ARE YA” WHO ARE YA? WHO ARE YA?
The lights cut and the old Indian head "Please Stand By" TV signal fills the screens and the fans jump to their feet.
“Supersonic” by Manchester’s Oasis starts up and the rocks their fists as images of Syberus in Hardkore World's heyday replace the testing signal. Smoke billows from the ramp and from it Syberus emerges, his robe open and flowing around him as he strides onto the stage. Syb takes a brief look around at the rowdy, drunk, and passionate crowd holding up signs that say “Syberus Is On Fire” and “The GREAT Syberus” before heading down the ramp.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Here he is, back in the UK for the first time since 2020 when he defeated Anthony Cafferey in a steel cage match when he was SWAT World Heavyweight Champion! I can barely hear myself with this everyone in this small but loud building cheering The Great Syberus in unison.
Phillip Blauer: Where were these people when I was introduced in the pre-show? I came out to Def Leppard for them!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus has a giant target on his back. The Anointed christened their group with a beating on him and Kilroy Evans, something he tried to get some revenge for earlier this evening by costing them their Hardkore World Tag Team title tournament match. But now he has to get back into a different head space for a match with the wild Sheik.
Once up the ring steps Syberus wipes his feet on the apron before stooping through the ropes. He circles the ring for a second before hopping up in one corner and raising both fists in the air to a deafening response from the UK crowd, with UK flags waving all over the arena
Guillermo O’Bannon: In Pomona, The Oracles of Suffering along with Marty Donovan joined forces to leave Syberus a bloody mess. But Syberus says he is from the old days of Hardkore World, where many of the matches were teeming with interference. Something he says prepares him for whatever The Oracles of Suffering have planned for him tonight. He says it proves how scared both The Anointed and The Oracles of Suffering are of him that they need to beat him in a numbers game.
Phillip Blauer: Pish posh, what’s a couple of extra wrestlers when Syberus has this room of 2000 people who look like they want to kill his opponent?
Guillermo O’Bannon: But tonight, he is in the ring with one of the most dangerous men in Hardkore World, who just did a horrible thing to a friend, one can only imagine what he will do to become a Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion as well.
Greg Jin: “And his opponent is from Manchester!”
The Manchester contingent yells out
Crowd: (singing) Glory, glory Man United
Glory, glory Man United
Glory, glory Man United
As the reds go marching on! On! On!
The crowd roars and then allows Greg to continue
Greg Jin: “Standing 6 feet tall; Weighing 200 pounds; The owner of Hardkore Britain, He is The Only 5 Time Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion…THE GREAT SYBERUS!!!”
There’s a massive wave of cheers that makes the camera shake as Syberus holds up the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship. Malcolm Xavier Graves snarls at Syberus
Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship Match
The Great Syberus vs. The Sheik
Tommy Milligan signals for the bell and The Sheik circles Syberus before locking up with him in a collar and elbow tie up
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik surprisingly starting off with some wrestling here, locking up with Syberus. Syberus quickly gets the advantage with a side headlock.
The Sheik reaches up and grabs Syberus by his long hair. Syberus shouts “Watch the hair, Tommy!” as the fans boo
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus takes Shiek over in a snapmare. He gets up and dropkicks The Sheik in the back of the head.
The audience pops, and The Sheik gets up and runs into a hiptoss. He gets up but gets caught by a Syberus armdrag
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Great Syberus twists Sheik’s arm and flipping him over his shoulder with an ipponzei judo throw and then applies a ude garami
Syberus clamps down on The Sheik’s wrist while torquing up on his elbow. There’s a buzz as the fans start singing a song
Crowd: (singing) Syb’s on fire
The Sheik is terrified
Said Syb’s on fire
Syb’s on fire
The Sheik is terrified
Said Syb’s on fire
Syb’s on fire
The Sheik is terrified
Said Syb’s on fire
Syb’s on fire
C’Mon
Ulster Hall starts jumping in unison
Crowd: (singing) Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na
Phillip Blauer: (folds his arms) No one told me there would be songs.
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Belfast fans trying to get inside The Sheik’s head and having a good time doing it. Syberus continues to press down on that trapped arm.
Tommy Milligan checks in while Malcolm Xavier Graves shouts instructions to The Sheik. The Sheik is finally able to hook onto the bottom rope and Milligan forces Syberus to break the ude garami
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus pulls The Sheik up, but The Sheik kicks him in the stomach. He hauls back and slugs Syberus, stunning him.
The Sheik bashes Syberus between the eyes with another hard right hand that has Syberus reeling. Malcolm Xavier Graves voices his pleasure, and The Sheik clocks the World Champion across the jaw with a hard hook as the fans boo for the first time
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus finally able to duck under an overhand right and applies a half nelson hammerlock. The European Three Quarter Nelson! He pushes down on the back of The Sheik’s neck while pulling up on his chicken winged arm.
The Sheik grunts out vague refusals to quit to Tommy Milligan, and then mule kicks him in the groin to escape. The boos are ear splitting as Syberus clutches his balls
Phillip Blauer: No? No song for that?
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik irish whips Syberus into the ropes and catches him with a slingblade clothesline!
Malcolm Xavier Graves applauds on the outside. The Sheik pulls Syberus up by the hair, but Syberus kicks him in the shins
Phillip Blauer: No call for that, what with the Queen watching and all.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus kicks him in the knee, and another hard kick to the leg. But The Sheik cuts him off with an overhand punch to the teeth. The Sheik scoops him up but Syberus falls behind him in an inverted facelock and drops into a reverse DDT!
…ONE!
…The Sheik rolls his shoulder up
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus applies a front headlock. He locks his hands together and leans back with his body, cutting off The Sheik’s air.
Phillip Blauer: Oh God. Here they go again.
Crowd: (singing) Syb’s on fire
The Sheik is terrified
Said Syb’s on fire
Syb’s on fire
The Sheik is terrified
Said Syb’s on fire
Syb’s on fire
The Sheik is terrified
Said Syb’s on fire
Syb’s on fire
C’Mon
Syberus smiles at the fans and then they start pogo jumping again
Crowd: (singing) Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wait, The Sheik might have taken advantage of the distraction by the crowd and backdrops his way out of the front headlock. He grabs the ropes for balance and begins stomping the World Champion.
The Sheik gets on top of Syberus and bashes him in the face with a few punches and then pulls him up by the hair. He irish whips him into the ropes, but Syberus baseball slides under the ropes to the floor
Phillip Blauer: How does he know how to do that?
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik tries to follow after him but Syberus pulls the apron out and traps Sheik’s legs in there!
The UK fans cheer Sheik’s predicament while Malcolm Xavier Graves complains to Tommy Milligan. Syberus takes advantage of the trapped Sheik with three hard punches to the temple, and then he pulls him out of the apron and drags him by the hair over to the announce table
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus smashes The Sheik’s face into our table here!!
Phillip Blauer: Gadzooks, man! I had my crystal right there! Now I’m gonna be off for the rest of the night.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus grabs The Sheik by the hair and runs him into the cornerpost!!
The Belfast fans let out a huge pop as The Sheik spins around and then falls to the floor. Suddenly, blood starts leaking over the floor where Sheik tries to get up. The fans start singing
Crowd: Dooon’t take me home,
Please don’t take me home
I just don’t want to go to work
I wanna stay here, drink all the beer
Please don’t, don’t take me hooome!
Dooon’t take me home,
Please don’t take me home
I just don’t want to go to work
I wanna stay here, drink all the beer
Please don’t, don’t take me hooome!
Malcolm Xavier Graves sneaks up behind Syberus and the 1,800 fans try and warn him
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus turns around just in time, and MXG stops in his tracks.
Phillip Blauer: This is cultural bias. In America, Malcolm Xavier Graves has every right to sneak up on people. It’s what he does, it’s why he owns very quiet shoes.
Malcolm Xavier Graves tries to talk some sense into Syberus while he backpedals. A bloody Sheik suddenly appears behind Syberus with a chair
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik smashes that chair into the back of Syberus’ head!!
Ulster Hall lets out a collective “OH!!” Syberus tries to get up but The Sheik bends the chair frame over his back
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Hardkore West Coast Champion now cracks that chair into Syberus’ head and opens up that cut from Pomona!!
The crowd boos as Syberus lies on the floor, bleeding. The Sheik climbs to the apron, and then steps on the second rope
Guillermo O’Bannon: Sheik hops off with a springboard back elbow drop on the floor!!
The jeers get louder. The busted open Sheik comes over and bites Syberus’ laceration, tearing it wider as the Hardkore World Champion screams in agony
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tommy Milligan finally on the floor and pulls the bloodthirsty Sheik off of Syberus, but the damage is done.
Phillip Blauer: Tommy Milligan tries to gain some order in this match that has clearly gone off the rails.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Malcolm Xavier Graves now kicking and stomping the bloody Syberus while Milligan’s back is turned!
Phillip Blauer: One thing at a time.
The audience boos MXG’s interference.
Crowd: WHO ARE YA? WHO ARE YA? WHO ARE YA?
The bleeding Sheik now joins in with some stomps on the floor, and then directs Malcolm Xavier Graves to grab a table. MXG pulls one out from under the ring and he and The Sheik set it up at ringside
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik rolls a blood drenched Syberus onto the table, and rolls back into the ring. He pulls on the top rope and slingshots over into a leg drop through the table on the floor!!
A big “OH!!” from the Belfast crowd as Sheik and Syberus lie in the table rubble. Malcolm Xavier helps The Sheik to his feet, getting blood on his jacket
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik gets up onto the apron, hops onto the middle of the second rope, and backflips into an asai moonsault but Syberus avoids it and Sheik impales himself in the guardrail!!
The crowd comes to life, cheering and jumping up and down, while The Sheik lies in the front row of the audience, clutching his ribcage. An exhausted and blood covered Syberus staggers into the direction of Malcolm Xavier Graves, who runs in the other direction until Syberus gives up
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus grabs Sheik by the arm, and drops down, pulling Sheik’s armpit into the guardrail and nearly popping it out of it’s socket.
Sheik holds his arm close to his body in the front row, and Syberus climbs over the railing after him. He starts digging his nails into Sheik’s cut, blood streaming down Sheik’s face
Phillip Blauer: Ugh, and to think I used to feel bad about throwing that tea in the water.
Syberus leans Sheik’s throat on the railing. He tells a bunch of the fans to give him room and clears the chairs out as we walks out to the fifth row
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus gets a running start and jumps on Sheik’s back, jamming his throat on the security rail!!
The Sheik flops on the floor, holding his throat and trying to get some air. He quietly grabs a chair as Syberus comes over to collect him
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik jams the top of that chair into Syberus’ stomach! He grabs Syberus around the head and DDTs his bloody skull into the concrete!!
Ulster Hall boos as both men lie in the audience, utterly exhausted and losing blood
Guillermo O’Bannon: These men taking one another to the limit for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship.
After a couple minutes, Sheik is the first to his feet and pulls Syberus up by his blood stained now-pink hair. He slugs him a few times, backing him against the guardrail
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik charges and hits Syberus with a heel hook that takes him over the railing into the ringside area!
Malcolm Xavier Graves helps The Sheik to his feet and to roll back into the ring. The fans chant “SYBERUS!! SYBERUS!! SYBERUS!!” as he slowly gets back to his feet
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik slingshots himself over the ropes onto Syberus with a plancha!!
Phillip Blauer: Syberus needs to get this match back in the ring, like the deserts miss the rain.
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik pulling Syberus back to his feet…
Phillip Blauer: You see, I used a Massive Attack lyric so he would know what I was referring to. Using songs or jargon familiar to those across the pond. It’s what we in the biz call, Dumbing It Down.
Guillermo O’Bannon: I got it, Phil. The Sheik rolls Syberus back into the ring and follows after him. Once in the ring, The Sheik scoops him up into a michinoku driver II!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THR- Syberus kicks out!
Phillip Blauer: Hachi machi, that was close!
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik latches Syberus’ arm into his legs and grabs his head with a LeBell lock! He locks his fingers together under Syberus’ chin and peels back on his head
Syberus bleeds a large pool of blood under his face as The Sheik pulls back on his head. Tommy Milligan checks in for the tap out while Malcolm Xavier Graves pounds on the apron. The Belfast fans yell and urge Syberus to hang on
Crowd: (singing) Glory, glory Man United
Glory, glory Man United
Glory, glory Man United
As the reds go marching on! On! On!
Phillip Blauer: Oh man, soccer ditties are like Popeye’s spinach to these people.
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik continuing to contort that twisted arm of Syberus, while not allowing him near the ropes. Even if he doesn’t tap out to this, it’s definitely wearing him down for The Last Crusade.
Syberus shakes his head, refusing to quit to Tommy Milligan. He takes his free hand, and is able to get it between Sheik’s clasped hands. He peels two of Sheik’s fingers back
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus pulling Sheik’s fingers back until he is able to break out of the Lebell lock, and gets the advantage, reversing it with a cross armbar!
The crowd pops and a crimson masked Syberus rocks back on Sheik’s arm. Sheik cries out in pain and looks for an escape, while Tommy Milligan hovers over them looking for the tap out. Syberus repeats “Ask him, Tommy!” while wrenching Sheik’s aching arm
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus releases the cross armbar, and then just stomps on Sheik’s fingers!
The fans laugh and Sheik pulls his hand back, cursing the champion
Phillip Blauer: How galant. I understand the appeal now.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tommy Milligan reading him the riot act but Syberus has been through tables and multiple chair shots. I think it’s all out the window now.
Greg Jin: “Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus now drives his knees into the stomach of The Sheik repeatedly. He grinds his forearm into Sheik’s cut to open it up even more!
Ulster Hall roars as Sheik screams, stomping his heels in the mat in pain. Syberus pulls him up to his feet and ties his arms in the ropes. When The Sheik realizes his predicament, he shakes his head, and tries to kick his legs at Syberus’ stomach
Phillip Blauer: Gadzooks, the man is helpless! Get in there, Tommy!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus cracks a bloody Sheik in the face over and over with elbows. Over and over until Tommy Milligan forcibly moves Syberus back.
The fans are cheering wildly as a blood covered Syberus walks around the ring with his arm up. Malcolm Xavier Graves and Tommy Milligan work to free Sheik from the ropes
Crowd: (singing) Syb’s on fire
The Sheik is terrified
Said Syb’s on fire
Syb’s on fire
The Sheik is terrified
Said Syb’s on fire
Syb’s on fire
The Sheik is terrified
Said Syb’s on fire
Syb’s on fire
C’Mon
Crowd: (singing) Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus picks him up in a full nelson, but The Sheik plants his feet and blocks a lift. The Sheik backpedals and squashes Syberus in the corner!
The cheers turn to jeers as Syberus crumples in the corner a little. The Sheik grabs his bloodsoaked hair and sits out into a facebuster
Phillip Blauer: Ugh, he’s left a stain on the Hardkore canvas. This time literally!
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik climbs to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a moonsault!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Syberus kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik sits on Syberus’ back and applies The Last Crusade camel clutch!!
Ulster Hall thunders with boos as The Sheik rocks back with Syberus’ head trapped in his locked fingers. Malcolm Xavier Graves celebrates on the outside, applauding and whooping it up. The gusher over Syberus’ eye drips down like a faucet
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus crawls over and grabs the second rope, and Tommy Milligan tells The Sheik to break The Last Crusade!
The jeers get louder as Tommy Milligan wrestles with Sheik to release The Last Crusade. The Sheik doesn’t like being touched, and tosses Tommy to the ground violently
Guillermo O’Bannon: That is uncalled for!
Phillip Blauer: I’ve been wanting to do that for years. Guy always wants to invite you on his fishing boat to get sunburned and hear old wrestling stories. Coffee breath like you wouldn’t believe.
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik stomping Syberus over and over, and then leg drops the back of his head.
The fans buzz as suddenly Poena, The Sanctified enters the ring.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Oh come on, now all of The Oracles of Suffering are in the ring, stomping and kicking Syberus. Malcolm Xavier Graves slides a table into the ring.
Phillip Blauer: Syberus claimed to be “ready” for such a thing, from his long storied career of run-ins. Let’s see him prove it.
Poena, The Sanctified and Malcolm Xavier Graves set up the table while trash begins to land in the ring, thrown by outraged fans
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Belfast fans not liking what they are seeing happen to Syberus here.
Phillip Blauer: Yeah? Well luckily this city is used to disappointment
Greg Jin: “Twenty Five Minutes Have Elapsed. 5 Minutes Remaining!”
Bottles and beer cups continue to be thrown into the ring, while Poena rolls Syberus onto the table. The Sheik climbs to the top turnbuckle and Malcolm Xavier Graves hands him a chair
Guillermo O’Bannon: Poena, The Sanctified holds Syberus’ legs, and The Sheik places that chair underneath his own legs and…it’s Kilroy!
The fans leap to their feet in jubilation as Kilroy grabs Poena and drops down into his diamond cutter
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Bad Touch on Poena!! Tuxedo Mask runs up the turnbuckles and takes The Sheik over into a dragonrana through the table that Syberus just rolled off of!!
Phillip Blauer: Is this for “Deathstryke” Cyan Komar??
Ulster Hall is rocking and the floor rumbles with stomps as a totally spent Syberus uses the last of his strength to pull the bleeding Sheik up into a single underhook then drives his head into the mat with his DDT
Guillermo O’Bannon: Pure Confidence!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THREE!
Earsplitting pop as “Supersonic” by Oasis plays and Syberus rolls off of The Sheik. Tuxedo Mask and Kilroy Evans protect him as Malcolm Xavier Graves tries to collect Poena and The Sheik
Greg Jin: “At 27 minutes, 30 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH AND STILL HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…THE GREAT SYBERUS!!”
Kilroy Evans and Tuxedo Mask hold up Syberus, who looks like he was hand dipped in blood. Syberus weakly holds up his Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship
Guillermo O’Bannon: These two look like they’ve walked through hell, but Syberus said he had a plan for The Oracles of Suffering and it looks like that plan was his old friends/enemies Kilroy Evans and Tuxedo Mask!
When The Sheik comes to at ringside, he’s enraged, and tries to get back into the ring while Poena and Malcolm Xavier Graves hold him back. Syberus calls for the microphone from Greg
Syberus: (breathing heavily) "Thank you, Greg,”
The fans chant “THANK YOU GREG! THANK YOU GREG! THANK YOU GREG!” as Syberus tries to catch his breath. Greg pats his heart and beams
Syberus: “There are key moments and decisions that can change careers, lives, and sometimes the world as you know it. Tonight, one of those key moments is taking place."
The audience cheers and whistles while an enraged Poena drags The Sheik up the aisleway
Syberus: "This business has drifted a long way from the battleground of kings and queens it used to be. When Hardkore World was at it's previous zenith- things were different. Standards were higher, greatness had meaning. The last fighting remnants of that culture stand before you today."
Kilroy Evans nods and claps while Tux tries to goose the cheers for himself
Syberus: "Outfits like The Anointed and The Oracles of Suffering simply cannot be held as the barometer in professional wrestling. Cloying, desperate, shallow entities that cheapen what's considered success and blur what's considered failure."
Poena screams threats at the three men in the ring from the aisle, while MXG has to bearhug The Sheik from running into the ring
Syberus: "Before you today stand three of the most decorated wrestlers in Hardkore World history. We fought. We shed blood. We left parts of ourselves in this ring over and over for two decades now. Believe me, we know what success is. We know what failure is. And we're together to enlighten a whole new generation."
Ulster Hall cheers and gives the three men a big round of applause
Syberus: "Tuxedo Mask! Kilroy Evans! The great Syberus!”
All three men stand side by side as Syberus struggles to catch his breath
Syberus: (breathing heavily) "We are greatness. We are the barometer. And the name may carry a little irony these days, but as a hallmark of excellence it has never diminished..."
It gets deathly quiet
Syberus: "We are the Society of the New Breed."
The Belfast crowd pops big and “Supersonic” by Oasis plays again. Kilroy Evans checks to see if Syberus is ok, while Tuxedo Mask stands on the second rope soaking in cheers. Poena orders his followers to the back while Malcolm Xavier Graves holds up the Hardkore West Coast Championship.
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Society of the New Breed is reformed! A legendary stable that has had such members as Syberus, Kilroy, Tux, Cobryn, Rated X, Andrew Karnage and even Jonnie Valentine himself has been reformed to do battle with The Oracles of Suffering as well as The Anointed.
Phillip Blauer: Didn’t Jonnie wind up disavowing that group?
Guillermo O’Bannon: That was just during his PSA against gang violence he did in the 90s.
Phillip Blauer: Well, I believe anything said in PSAs. Like Ben Affleck said, “Gambling is for losers, no matter how you roll the dice!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Sure. At any rate, coming up is the final of the Hardkore World Tag Team Title Tournament, with the newly formed The Society of the New Breed taking on Lynx and Ruben Bowman! We’ll be right back!
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Post by Phoenix Roost on Sept 6, 2022 20:01:53 GMT -5
The scene cuts to Ruben Bowman, dressed in his ring gear of vaguely Roman gladiator-esque short tights and his chainmail headwrap. He’s smiling at the camera, but there’s a bit of menace in it. His scroll where he holds or writes his poetry is on a bench nearby, but when he recites his poem, he is looking directly down the barrel of the camera.
Ruben Bowman: There once was a manchild named Marty,
That you'd never invite to a party.
He'll never shut up,
About Disney's line-up,
Though his passion for violence is hearty.
There once was a man on a spree.
Some people called him AVB.
Though you’d never guess,
He claimed “Always Blessed,”
But Rich still wound up counting to three.
There once was a man in a mask.
He was given a dead simple task.
All he had to do,
Was make sure the debut,
Of their new team remained in the cask.
There once was a man of great height.
To behold him at work’s a delight.
Some say he’s pretentious,
And others, contentious,
But he’s proven his worth every fight.
There once was a group of old hands.
They wanted upstarts off their lands.
But it seems that the foals,
Can’t stop scoring own goals,
So they might as well sit in the stands.
Groups keep popping up and then failing.
Seems to me this tourney’s smooth sailing.
I thought this would be hard,
But heed these words, old guard,
Will you find your success past unveiling?
Recent history’s not on your side, chums.
Both new groups, we have kicked in their bums.
I don’t know why you’d think,
An old name would hoodwink
The Fates into leaving you crumbs.
The whole lot of you are a waste.
The “Is old good? Or new?” feud’s misplaced.
Old fucks can be spry,
And newcomers can fly,
But all your squabbling’s a disgrace.
To be clear, I’m lambasting all three
Of the groups as they’re fighting and plea.
“Please pay attention!
I need just a mention,
If I’m not relevant, I’m just debris!”
The Oracles can’t seem to stay close-knit.
Even one show’s too much to stand by it.
Already they splinter,
It will be a long winter,
So long as they keep throwing dog shit.
I’ll point out the Anointed were no threat.
Just a tiny distraction and all set.
Too focused on others,
Their chances were smothered,
So I hope you are both filled with regret.
Even the World Champ’s got his kicks in.
To see him stoop so low makes me grief-stricken.
You claim greatness and all,
But how you have the gall,
To indulge in low fruit makes my pulse quicken.
But it’s not your Bad Touch I must fear.
(Unless you interfere like your peers.)
I know Kilroy’s steadfast,
Many times champ in past,
But he’ll find his new partner low gear.
I have faith that Kilroy could succeed,
But of Tux, it must be decreed.
He’s tough, but not grand,
And without you at hand,
He’d have no choice but to concede.
A team is, as most experts would think,
Only as strong as its weakest link.
One on one, I don’t know,
Roy might deal a deathblow,
But as a unit, Mask’s too great a kink.
But for all I have said, I can grant,
That the count of your allies is scant.
If the wagons must circle,
You must take every Urkel,
Even if one’s not as smart as a plant.
You can have your disputes about pride,
And how wrestling should be codified.
But if you’re so great,
Should it matter what weight,
You give to past greatness you occupied?
For my money it’s all a distraction.
And it doesn’t really matter which faction.
Anointed, New Breed,
Oracles, too, indeed,
You’re all clawing for so little traction.
You’ll no doubt all call me naive.
Everyone seems to wear hearts on their sleeve.
But if I’m the wrong sort,
To have stock in this fort,
I will gladly accept the reprieve.
If you’d all focus more on your chores,
And less on blood feuds, or Star Wars,
Maybe Belfast would be,
Where great wrestlers are free,
To do what they desire to their cores.
You wouldn’t need back-up or goons,
No canes or Stormtrooper dragoons.
Just some people in tights,
And some bright, shining lights,
To display me as I win the boons.
Me and Lynx, we don’t need fancy names.
He fights ‘cause he must; me, acclaim.
At the end of the show,
All the hot air you’ll blow,
Will do nothing but inflate your shame.
Hardkore World is full of commotion.
Groups are forming ‘round fear or devotion.
Standing tall in the center,
A proud, lone dissenter,
A champion, Poetry that’s in Motion.
He lets the last word sit in the air until the scene cuts elsewhere.
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Kilroy
.::XHF Newcomer::.
Posts: 46
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Post by Kilroy on Sept 6, 2022 20:04:23 GMT -5
[The shot cuts to a backstage area that looks like it was set up for interviews, Hardkore World banner and all. The camera pans across the area, but no one is there. The camera pans across the opposite way and suddenly Kilroy Evans is staring directly down the lens.]
Cameraman: Ah!
[The shot shakes wildly as the cameraman falls over in surprise. Kilroy pulls him back up immediately.]
Kilroy Evans: Sorry, sorry, there's not much time! The finals are coming up and I've got feelings to express.
[Kilroy backs up, his smile stretching wide and toothy.]
Kilroy Evans: Well, here we are again. It's always such a pleasure. We've suffered through what we had to in order to get to this moment, and now we get to the big prize itself!
[Kilroy holds his arms out, palms up, and an excited look on his face.]
Kilroy Evans: Lynx, Ruben, this next part is the BEST part. You step into the ring, ready to capture the Hardkore World tag titles AND you get the pleasure of doing it against myself and Tuxedo Mask! Get a load of this Society, huh?
[Kilroy laughs at his own joke for a few seconds. He looks back into the camera, smiling and unrepentant.]
Kilroy Evans: Hey, a joke for one is still a joke. I'm glad you're resolute. I'm glad you're hyped. And I appreciate the reminder, but you don't have to remind us to bring our best. That's the default setting for guys like us. What it comes down to, though, is are you both ready to experience what a tag title match here in Hardkore World is like? Are you ready to be loved? Because it's going to be phenomenal.
[Kilroy leans in toward the camera.]
Kilroy Evans: And when the dust settles and champions are made---no spoilers, now!
[Kilroy winks at the camera.]
Kilroy Evans: ---win or lose, this will be a night carved into the annals of Hardkore history like a spike to the forehead! Lynx, Ruben, appreciate this moment in time. I know I do.
[Kilroy holds up his hand and counts off fingers as he speaks.]
Kilroy Evans: 3, 2, 1...let's jam!
[Kilroy turns and walks toward the entrance area with gusto, but suddenly stops and returns just as quickly.]
Kilroy Evans: Also, just a fair warning to you two and my friends as well...let's all keep our heads on a swivel, alright? We soundly gave a bunch of assholes a lot of free time to make more bad decisions tonight. Just sayin'.
[Kilroy clicks his tongue, winks, and double finger guns to the camera as he again leaves for the entrance area. The shot cuts elsewhere.]
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tuxbang
.::XHF Newcomer::.
Posts: 40
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Post by tuxbang on Sept 8, 2022 1:31:52 GMT -5
Banzai!
[Tux is elsewhere backstage in Belfast, Ireland at Ulster Hall with Ri Eun-Ae. Both are hydrating properly with bottles of water; Tux’s is black matte with a miniature red bowtie around it and Eun-Ae’s is green and covered with random stickers. Tux is in his formal wrestling attire but it’s a bit disheveled due to his earlier match while Ri Eun-Ae is in a black and green dress.]
Ri Eun-Ae: See, it’s green for Ireland!
Tuxedo Mask: It’s also your favorite color. You literally wore it to work for a decade.
Ri Eun-Ae: A woman can have many reasons for her outfits.
Tuxedo Mask: I only need one reason: To look good!
Ri Eun-Ae: The hole in your pants is not serving that goal whatsoever.
Tuxedo Mask: The hole in my pants is for ventilation. You ever wrestle in a tuxedo? It’s not pleasant and it’s strategic to exploit every possible advantage.
Ri Eun-Ae: Your balls are showing.
[Tux adjusts while the crowd can be heard cheering offscreen. Greg Jin is indistinctly announcing useful information to the, at this point, dangerously inebriated Ulster crowd. Kilroy walks by and gives Tux the finger guns salute. Tux quickly bows out of a Japanese reflex and Eun-Ae smiles as Kilroy approaches Gorilla (the staging area right behind the current for you marks that don’t know lingo from the biz).]
Tuxedo Mask: You know, I suggested New Breed Social Club so we could piggyback off the branding but Diane in legal said there’s too many copyright issues. I tried to explain that wrestling was built on plagiarism but she wasn’t having it. Apparently Jonnie is springing for real lawyers now? Dude even tried to charge me for the free peanuts on the airline to Europe.
Ri Eun-Ae: Tried to?
Tuxedo Mask: He did charge. And I paid it. I was hungry, okay? So I guess I helped pay for Diane, which is why she should’ve been more sympathetic to my great idea! Come on, it’s Syberus, Kilroy and me! We’re the remaining Hardkore classics! We tried to get Cyrus Williams but he got a food truck and is totally killin’ with it. If you like grilled cheese he’s right outside most events in Palm Springs.
Ri Eun-Ae: I’m happy that Cyan Komar didn’t get involved.
Tuxedo Mask: It would’ve been interested, sort of a pan-Asian representation which would be supported by Hardkore’s diversity initiative.
Ri Eun-Ae: Hardkore has DEI?
Tuxedo Mask: It’s Tarrasque.
Ri Eun-Ae: Good for him!
Tuxedo Mask: We’ll sell better to the western crowds this way. If anything, Cyan and you should be teaming up against me if we were still working Hardkore Nippon. China and Korea would love to get their hands on me! The international sales would kill!
Ri Eun-Ae: Nah, I like Syberus and Kilroy. They balance you out nicely.
Tuxedo Mask: Because Syberus is even-keeled and Kilroy has stains on his shirt like a literary foil?
Ri Eun-Ae: Because Syberus is even-keeled and Kilroy doesn’t need to vent his balls.
Tuxedo Mask: Look, Lotrimin was out of stock at CVS and I prefer to do things naturally.
Ri Eun-Ae: Okay but which one of you… is the dirty one…
Tuxedo Mask: Sigh, I’ll go see Diane.
Ri Eun-Ae: Why? What do you need legal for?
Tuxedo Mask: She doubles as makeup.
Ri Eun-Ae: It takes a village to raise an event, but with Jonnie the village is just four people with a total of seven personalities.
[Greg Jin can be heard saying something which cues Tux to get going. He takes a few hops to warm up and makes his way off screen. Cut to the next scene.]
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Post by Crimson Mask II on Sept 8, 2022 10:08:57 GMT -5
“I respect you, Kilroy Evans!“
Lynx is standing in front of the camera, arms crossed o his chest as usual
“I grew up watching you and Karnage battle it out with the best of the best. I had hoped I could fight against you two in the finals of this tournament. But I guess life had other plans for AK-47. I hope he watches us battle it out, from the comfort of his house, and cheers for you. I hope I can fight well enough to earn his and your respect.”
Lynx shakes his head and goes on
“I, personally, have to overcome two hindrances in my path towards tag team gold. The first is, as I’ve already stated before, that you Kilroy are a master of this match type. You´ve been fighting tag team fights forever. While me? I have yet to gain enough experience. This brings me to my second point; it is no secret that this Lynx is a Lone wolf. Thus I have to overcome my own shadow too. “
Lynx pauses for a moment
“…I have no miraculous recipe for that, besides the fact that I will give it all in the ring and fight until I can fight no more. I also will say that I have enough consideration for Bowman, and thus think he can be a plus in this tag team wrestling match. We both will give it all to overcome Kilroy and Tux in the finals.”
Lynx points at the camera
“See you two in the ring.
Might the best fighters win!”
Fade
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Post by Jonnie Valentine on Sept 11, 2022 17:55:03 GMT -5
Guillermo O’Bannon: Coming up fans is the final of the Hardkore World Tag Team Championship Tournament. Former champions have been The Creamer Dynasty, Final Contract, Tempered Steel, Kilroy Evans & Andrew Karnage, and Syberus & the late Adrian Tanner Jr. This belt has been around since 1989, first held by The Jungle Terrors when they defeated Fat Albert and Bam Bam Jackson in Philadelphia.
Phillip Blauer: That is about as 1989 Philly indie show as one can get. I’m sure there was a girl fight in the crowd that fine evening.
Guillermo O’Bannon: There…was, unfortunately. Took away from a crowning achievement. But hopefully that won’t happen tonight. Lynx and Ruben Bowman take on The Society of the New Breed!
"Long Walk Home" by Howl Trance plays and Lynx and Ruben Bowman walk out. A toddler in a Lynx mask is shown sitting on his father’s shoulders as Ruben stalks to the ring. Lynx stays behind to slap all the fans’ hands. Lynx touches foreheads with several kids wearing Lynx masks
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx says The Anointed looked past Ruben Bowman and himself and wound up getting eliminated from the tournament. Bowman dissed The Anointed and The Oracles of Suffering in his pre-match poem so these two are definitely suddenly feeling this pairing of seemingly opposite styles of wrestler.
Phillip Blauer: And I quite enjoyed that little ditty. All wrestlers should have to from their promos in the form of a rhyme. Has Mr. Marshall Mathers not taught us anything?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx and Ruben Bowman went 13 minutes with Marty Donovan and Alexander Von Blankenship as opposed to 22 minutes that The Society of the New Breed went with The Oracles of Suffering so they should be the fresher team.
Ruben Bowman slides under the bottom rope into the ring where he goes to wait in the corner. Lynx gets on the apron and pumps up the crowd
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx has said that he respects the accomplishments of Kilroy Evans and Tuxedo Mask. He grew up watching Kilroy and The Miracle Violence Combination II. But he is excited to test himself against the two 20 year veterans. But Ruben Bowman will be facing the two most experienced opponents he has ever stepped in the ring with.
Greg Jin: “The following is the Final of the Hardkore World Tag Team Title Tournament! Your referee is Tommy Milligan. Featuring first, from Wherever The Muses Dictate; Standing 6 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 285 pounds…RUBEN BOWMAN!! His partner is from Sicily; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 200 pounds…LYNX!!”
The crowd cheers Lynx, especially the children and women in the audience.
Then "Rock Club" by Family Jules plays and Ulster Hall lets out a large cheer for as they Kilroy Evans and Tuxedo Mask walk out. Tuxedo Mask sweeps his long cape behind him before he poses on the left side of the ramp while Kilroy nods to the beat as he scans the crowd. Then Tux quickly darts to the other side, waving his cape towards the other side as he stares down at the crowd. Kilroy Evans walks down to the ring, bumping fists with a few of the Belfast fans, while Tuxedo Mask heads for the ring, pausing to fling the cape aside. Kilroy walks down to the ring and slaps the hands of the fans. One little girl in a Lynx mask refuses to slap his hand. Kilroy seems genuinely hurt.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans seems to be taken aback by that child’s reaction.
Phillip Blauer: It’s painful when one is rejected by his peers.
Tuxedo Mask does a cartwheel on the outside, and then vaults into the ring with a somersault, popping the crowd. Tux sweeps into a bow before he leans back in the turnbuckle.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy and Tuxedo Mask are fresh from appearing at the end of the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship match between Syberus and the Hardkore West Coast Champion The Shiek. The Oracles of Suffering were about to put Syberus through a table when Kilroy and Tux came out and evened the odds. Afterwards, they reformed The Society of the New Breed.
Phillip Blauer: Between The Anointed, The Oracles of Suffering, The Society of the New Breed; The whole company seems to be circling their wagons. Next thing you know, the production team will be unionized and…
Hardkore World director Danny Valentine cuts Phil’s mic as Kilroy Evans rolls under the ropes. Kilroy shrugs, and Tuxedo Mask gives him a nod. Kilroy leans against the ropes with a glance at Lynx and Ruben Bowman
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Society of the New Breed is a little worse for wear than Lynx and Ruben Bowman so they’ll best be served by keeping this match brief. They have to hope that their experience in realizing a big moment will be enough to overwhelm this new team. Kilroy said that he and Tuxedo Mask have “been there” as opposed to Ruben Bowman and to a lesser extent, Lynx.
Greg Jin: “And their opponents; Featuring first, from Tokushima, Japan; Standing 5 feet 8 inches tall; Weighing 185 pounds. He is the uncommon kamen, a connoisseur and a lady lure…TUXEDO MASK!! His partner is from Attbury, South Carolina; He stands 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 245 pounds; The Attbury Assassin and Your Boy Kilroy…KILROY EVANS!! They are THE SOCIETY OF THE NEW BREED!!!”
The Belfast fans give them a huge ovation as Kilroy waves at them. Tuxedo Mask jumps to the second rope and welcomes louder cheers
Hardkore World Tag Team Title Tournament Final
Lynx & Ruben Bowman
vs.
The Society of the New Breed
Tommy Milligan signals for the bell and Kilroy Evans and Ruben Bowman start off. Ruben Bowman seems to be trying to psyche out the veteran
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans locks up with Ruben Bowman. The bigger Bowman backs Kilroy into the corner. Evans forces him back a few steps and then takes him over into a snap mare.
Ruben Bowman immediately gets to his feet and stares at Kilroy. He does not like being bested in anything
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans goes to lock up with Ruben Bowman, but he beel throws the 245 pounder across the ring!
Ulster Hall boos as Kilroy Evans sits up is disbelief and stares at the 6’7 Ruben Bowman
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy walks up and Ruben takes a swing, but Evans catches his arm. Bowman tries his left, but Kilroy catches that one too. He hammers Ruben in the face with a series of headbutts!
Kilroy tries to belly to belly suplex Ruben but the 275 pounder blocks it. Bowman grabs Evans and inverted atomic drops him
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman irish whips Kilroy into the ropes and backdrops him high into the lights!
Kilroy sits up in pain and Ruben Bowman grabs a reverse chinlock. The audience applauds as Bowman locks his hands together and uses his body to flatten out and put pressure on the back of Evans’ neck
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tommy Milligan checks in to see if that’s a chokehold. Kilroy Evans now fighting his way back to his feet with Ruben Bowman hanging on to the reverse chinlock. Bowman clamps down on Kilroy’s windpipe.
Kilroy Evans backs Ruben Bowman into the corner, crashing his back into the turnbuckles. He slips out of the reverse chinlock and grabs a headlock
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans runs into the center of the ring with a bulldog in his corner and then tags in Tuxedo Mask.
Kilroy irish whips Tuxedo Mask into Ruben Bowman, and Tux leaps into a cross body block but Bowman catches him
Phillip Blauer: He’s holding Tux like a toddler who fell asleep on the car ride home.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman has Tux in a precarious position here and shows him to Ulster Hall, but Kilroy dropkicks Tux’s back and Tuxedo Mask lands on top of Ruben Bowman!
…ONE!
…Ruben Bowman kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tux backs up and waits for Bowman to get to his feet, and then handsprings into a huracanrana!!
The fans cheer and Bowman rolls to his feet and locks up with Tuxedo Mask. Tux twists Ruben’s arm, and then runs up the turnbuckles to the top rope
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask tightrope walks on the top rope!
Ulster Hall gives Tuxedo Mask a round of applause for his incredible feat of balance
Phillip Blauer: You know, it’s one thing when he acts like this in America. But when we go overseas, and he decides to do this kind of jackassery…
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tux jumps off with a springboard la majistral!!
…ONE!
…Ruben Bowman kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman rolls up to his feet and whacks Tuxedo Mask with some heavy blows from his fists. Just a flurry of punches has the former Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Champion reeling!
The fans cheer as Bowman continues to hammer Tuxedo Mask with punches, and then sets him up for a suplex. He lifts Tux with ease and deposits him with the textbook suplex. Bowman sits up with a big smile across his face as the fans applaud. Lynx claps on the apron and then Bowman irish whips him into their corner
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman charges in with a clothesline! He tags Lynx in and the crowd comes alive!
The high pitched pop is at a fevered pitch. A shot catches a young boy jumping up and down in joy
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx cartwheels into a heel kick to Tuxedo Mask in the corner!
The Belfast audience lets out a collective “OH!” at Tux’s head snapping back. Tuxedo Mask drops to his knees and Lynx measures him. He cracks Tux in the temple with a shining wizard to get another “OH!” out of the crowd
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx snap suplexes him out of the corner. He rolls him up for a second, but Tuxedo Mask blocks it with his calf. Tux plants his feet and reverses it into a snap suplex of his own!
Ulster Hall applauds. Tuxedo Mask fireman’s carries Lynx up onto his shoulders, but Lynx lands on his feet behind him. He takes Tux out with a roundhouse kick
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx butterflies Tux’s arms and tosses him over his shoulder with a double underhook suplex!
Tuxedo Mask does the time out signal to Tommy Milligan, but Lynx moves in for the kill. The kids cheer loudly as Tux begs while backing himself into the corner. Lynx kicks him in the stomach.
Guillermo O’Bannon: These two know each other well from their July match in Los Angeles. Lynx goes for a DDT, but Tux lifts him onto his shoulders and drops his throat on the top rope!!
Lynx clutches his throat and rolls around the mat, trying to catch his breath. Tuxedo Mask lifts him up into a cravate headlock
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask backflips into a shiranui seated DDT!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Lynx kicks out!
Crowd: Dooon’t take me home,
Please don’t take me home
I just don’t want to go to work
I wanna stay here, drink all the beer
Please don’t, don’t take me hooome!
Dooon’t take me home,
Please don’t take me home
I just don’t want to go to work
I wanna stay here, drink all the beer
Please don’t, don’t take me hooome!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tux irish whips Lynx into the ropes, but Lynx comes back with a spinning heel kick!
The Belfast crowd cheers and Lynx tags in Ruben Bowman. He irish whips Tuxedo Mask into the corner
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx hits Tuxedo Mask with a jumping roundhouse kick in the corner! Immediately, Ruben Bowman comes in with a head of steam with a 275 pound avalanche!
Phillip Blauer: I think the ring moved a couple inches over there. And I don’t like it. Not one bit.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman tosses the 185 pound Tux with ease with an overhead belly to belly suplex!
Ulster Hall cheers. Ruben Bowman measures him and drops a leg drop across the side of his head
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Tuxedo Mask kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Bowman lifts Tuxedo Mask up into a suplex and just leaves him up there.
The people applaud Bowman’s show of strength. He leaves Tux up there for an egregious amount of time before finally drops back into a suplex. Bowman sits up and laughs
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman pulls him up to his feet and then rocks him with a few right hands. Tuxedo Mask does a split! He punches Bowman right in the balls!
The audience pops as Bowman covers his fellas.
Phillip Blauer: Dirty pool, mister. Dirty pool with impressive limberness but dirty pool all the same.
Tux grabs him in a cravate and runs up the turnbuckles before twisting into a bulldog!! The crowd chants “TUX!! “TUX!! “TUX!!” and Tuxedo Mask leaps over and tags Kilroy Evans, and the cheers get deafening
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy drop toe holds Bowman so his throat falls on the second rope! Tuxedo Mask runs off the ropes and swings around with a 619 kick!!
Kilroy Evans grabs Tuxedo Mask from behind with an inverted facelock, and flips him over into a reverse suplex onto Ruben Bowman
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Ruben Bowman kicks out!
Kilroy Evans Pulls Ruben Bowman up into a full nelson. After thrashing him from side to side a bit, Kilroy ties up their legs and pitches forward into an inverted russian leg sweep
Guillermo O’Bannon: Team work for The Society of the New Breed! Kilroy Evans motions for Ruben to get to his feet, and then hits him with a spear!!
Kilroy Evans pulls Bowman up into a sitting position and then sits on the back of his neck and applies a stump puller. He pulls up on Ruben’s ankle, putting a terrible strain on his neck and lower back. The Belfast crowd starts singing to the tune of Seven Nation Army
Crowd: Kil-roy-oy-ooooy!
Kil-roy-oy-ooooy!
Kil-roy-oy-ooooy!
Kilroy bangs his head a little to the chants, as Tommy Milligan checks in to see if Bowman wants to quit. Kilroy grabs his arm and drops down into a triangle choke
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans pulling up on that arm and using that leg scissors to cut off Ruben Bowman’s air. Evans now using those powerful legs to push Ruben’s head away from his body while pulling on his arm.
Tommy Milligan checks in to see if Bowman wants to tap out but he shakes his head, refusing to quit. Finally he takes his free arm and punches his way out of the triangle choke
Guillermo O’Bannon: Bowman pulls Kilroy up and irish whips him but Ruben reverses it and shoots Kilroy into the corner as he hits the ropes. Kilroy staggers out into a big boot by Lynx!!
The Belfast fans let out a big “OH!” at the impact and Kilroy goes down like a redwood. Bowman rolls him over and applies a dragon sleeper
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman plants his feet and bends Kilroy backward with the inverted facelock. Bowman using that 6’7 frame to put maximum pressure on Kilroy’s neck and lower back.
Evans cries out in pain but won’t give up, so Bowman begins backing up until he’s pulled Kilroy up to his feet in the inverted facelock, and then lifts him up and over with a reverse suplex! The crowd has to give it up for that feat of strength
Guillermo O’Bannon: Bowman tags in Lynx, who climbs to the second turnbuckle while Bowman rolls Kilroy over onto his back. Lynx comes off the second rope with a moonsault!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Kilroy Evans kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx irish whips Kilroy into the ropes and cartwheels into a roundhouse kick!
The kids in the audience jump up and down at their hero’s agility.
Phillip Blauer: Where are their parents? It is very late and there is beer sloshing everywhere. (wipes off his sleeve)
He steps through the ropes and waits for Kilroy Evans to get back to his feet
Guillermo O’Bannon: Springboard kneelift that smashes The Attbury Assassin right in the face!!
Kilroy is sprawled out but Lynx is on fire and pulls him up and starts laying into him with lefts and rights. He goes for a kick but Kilroy catches his foot
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx comes around with an enzuigiri to the back of Kilroy’s head!
Lynx butterflies Kilroy’s arms but he blocks a suplex and then backdrops Lynx over top of him. Evans than gut wrench suplexes Lynx
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy crawls over and tags in Lynx! Lynx doesn’t see the tag and pulls Kilroy up and takes a swing, but Kilroy ducks and atomic drops Lynx’s groin on the top rope!
Tuxedo Mask rolls into a koppo kick that knocks Lynx tumbling to the floor! Ruben Bowman goes over and helps his partner up and tries to rolls him back into the ring
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask baseball slides under the ropes and catches Bowman with a helicopter rana on the floor!!
Ulster Hall erupts in cheers!
Phillip Blauer: Come on, what did the poet do?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tux pulls Lynx up into an inverted facelock, and lifts him up into a reverse suplex of his own, dropping Lynx’s ribcage on the guardrail!!
The Belfast fans let out a collective “OH!!” at the sound ringing through Ulster Hall. Tuxedo Mask takes a little bow at ringside and then rolls into the ring
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans lifts Tuxedo Mask up into a military press!
Tuxedo Mask: “Hey! Let me down! This isn’t funny!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy tosses Tux over the ropes onto Ruben Bowman!!
The crowd chants “TUX!! TUX!! TUX!!” as Tuxedo Mask and Ruben Bowman lay in a heap on the Ulster Hall floor, while Kilroy rolls out to the floor. When Ruben Bowman gets to his feet, Kilroy tackles him from behind and Bowman’s head hits the ring steps
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Piggyback into those steel steps!!
Phillip Blauer: Uh oh, what rhymes with bleeding? Receding?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Meanwhile, Lynx has climbed to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a shooting star press that takes out Kilroy!! Predator Dive!
The kids and women in the audience now chant “LYNX!! LYNX!! LYNX!!” Ruben Bowman now has blood trickling from a small laceration over his eyebrow. Tuxedo Mask rolls into the ring and hits the ropes, no hands front flipping into a backflip over the ropes with a space flying tiger drop
Guillermo O’Bannon: Moonlight Waltz takes out all three competitors!!
All four men lay on the Ulster Hall floor in shambles as the crowd starts singing
Crowd: Dooon’t take me home,
Please don’t take me home
I just don’t want to go to work
I wanna stay here, drink all the beer
Please don’t, don’t take me hooome!
Dooon’t take me home,
Please don’t take me home
I just don’t want to go to work
I wanna stay here, drink all the beer
Please don’t, don’t take me hooome!
Guillermo O’Bannon: This match has completely broken down and shows what the Hardkore World Tag Team Championship means to both men.
Greg Jin: “Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining.”
Phillip Blauer: I’ve just been handed a note and I’m sorry to report…The Queen has been murdered!
Guillermo O’Bannon: That’s not true. She was 96 and she just died.
Phillip Blauer: Dear sweet, moronic Gabby. You might not understand the chicanery and double dealing of the royal families, but I have Showtime on streaming. Believe me, it’s always murder. Now Prince Andrew will have to raise an army to charge Buckingham Palace and take his place on the throne; with Charles The Usurper’s head on a pike. The whole island will be torn asunder, and graphic sex scenes will happen from long necked women in corsets. These poor bastards in the arena have no idea what’s about to happen to them.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans grabs Ruben Bowman and begins hammering him with headbutts, opening up that cut some more! He sinks his teeth into the laceration over Bowman’s eye!
Ruben Bowman screams in pain and punches his way out of it. He grabs Kilroy and rams his head into the ringpost!! The fans boo as Kilroy lays on the floor motionless, meanwhile Tuxedo Mask has rolls Lynx back in the ring. Tux gets up on the apron
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask slingshots himself over the ropes and catches Lynx with a DDT!
Tuxedo Mask pumphandles Lynx up but Lynx lands on his feet behind him. He kicks Tux in the stomach, cradles his leg and flips him into a fisherman’s suplex
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Tuxedo Mask kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx pulls him up into a half nelson and drops Tuxedo Mask on his head with a wrist clutch exploder!!
Kilroy Evans crawls up to the apron with blood leaking down his face. Lynx steps through the ropes onto the opposite apron
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx hops onto the middle of the top rope and jumps off with a springboard lariat!!
A buzz from the audience as a woman in a hoodie jumps the guardrail and climbs to the top rope
Phillip Blauer: Oh my god, one of these hooligans has jumped into the railing!! He could want to start with announcers! If head of security, Larry Valentine Jr. can hear me; save me first!
Guillermo O’Bannon: First of all, it’s a beautiful woman, Phil.
Phillip Blauer: (stands up and starts rolling up his sleeves) Well, if I gotta do everything around here myself….
The woman pulls down her hood
Guillermo O’Bannon: It’s Ri Eun-Ae, formerly Makoto Jupiter, the two time Hardkore World Women’s Champion!
The fans cheer loudly at the return of Ri Eun-Ae and she dives off and catches Lynx with a plancha
Phillip Blauer: This is ridiculous, Tommy! Makoto Jup…
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ri Eun-Ae.
Phillip Blauer: I’m not calling her any such thing.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman now in the ring!
Ulster Hall boos as Makoto Jupiter gulps and begins backing away, as a bloodstained Ruben Bowman points at her
Greg Jin: “Twenty Five Minutes Have Elapsed. 5 Minutes Remaining.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Oh, now come on. Ruben is nearly twice the size of Ri Eun-Ae.
Phillip Blauer: When one goes to the zoo, don’t be surprised to find some animals.
Ruben Bowman grabs Ri Eun-Ae and she screams. He irish whips her into the ropes
Guillermo O’Bannon: Bowman catches her with his blackhole slam called Poetry in Motion, but Lynx catches her!
The crowd erupts as Lynx points threateningly at Ruben Bowman. Bowman sputters with rage as his own partner, while Ri Eun-Ae sneaks out of the ring
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lynx won’t accept that type of behavior from anyone, even his own partner!
Phillip Blauer: Ruben was only trying to help the team. Won’t anyone think of the team?
Ruben Bowman smashes Lynx with a overhand right, and irish whips him into the ropes.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Poetry in Motion on his partner!! Lynx is laid out on the canvas!
A bloody Ruben Bowman rolls out of the ring and takes the microphone from Greg Jin
Ruben Bowman: “There is only one winner on this team.
If you thought it was you, 'twas a dream.
I hope now you can see,
You could never be me,
And I'd rather be stuck with a bream.”
Ruben Bowman drops the mic and walks out as boos and beer cups rain down on the giant poet. He cocks his fist and flinches at a few fans as he almost has to fight his way to the back
Guillermo O’Bannon: I’m not sure what a bream is, but I know betrayal when I see it!
Phillip Blauer: Ruben Bowman just saw this was not gonna work and cut bait.
A bleeding Kilroy Evans now in the ring and sees Lynx knocked out in the ring. He looks around for Ruben Bowman and then shrugs his shoulders. He signals for Tuxedo Mask to climb to the top turnbuckle
Phillip Blauer: What does he think? A piano fell on him? There’d be bits of piano everywhere!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans flips Lynx up into a powerbomb and Tuxedo Mask flips off the top turnbuckle with a somersault neckbreaker!! Menace To Society!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THREE!
Ulster Hall leaps to their feet as “Zerospace” by Kidneythieves plays. Tommy Milligan hands a busted open Kilroy and Tux their Hardkore World Tag Team Championship belts
Greg Jin: “At 28 minutes 4 seconds; THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH, AND NEW HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS…THE SOCIETY OF THE NEW BREED!!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Society of the New Breed have done it, they have become the Hardkore World Tag Team Champions, defeating The Oracles of Suffering in the first round and then going nearly 30 minutes before Ruben Bowman shockingly turned on his own partner to give them the victory. Lynx stayed true to his morals, to the example he tries to set for the young people that idolize him, and he paid the price.
Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Syberus runs down to the ring causing a monster pop from the Belfast crowd. Referees Tommy Milligan, Kelly O’Connell, Richie Richardson, and
Phillip Blauer: This man has never encountered a spotlight he didn’t want to steal.
Guillermo O’Bannon: He is celebrating with his new teammates, who now carry all the gold except for the Hardkore West Coast Championships.
Syberus, Kilroy and Tux hold up their respective championship belts as the soak in the cheers and occasional beer splash from the jubilant fans
Crowd: Dooon’t take me home,
Please don’t take me home
I just don’t want to go to work
I wanna stay here, drink all the beer
Please don’t, don’t take me hooome!
Dooon’t take me home,
Please don’t take me home
I just don’t want to go to work
I wanna stay here, drink all the beer
Please don’t, don’t take me hooome!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Fans, join us next month in the scorching desert of Phoenix, Arizona! And then Hardkore Helloween returns in the new city of Boston! Don’t miss a move of Hardkore World!
The crowd continues to sing and carry on as The Society of the New Breed go down to ringside to slap hands and hug the front row fans
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