.::REIGN Presents: Time's Up in Tanzania::.
Aug 30, 2022 17:29:12 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Steve Awesome, and 2 more like this
Post by REIGN Board of Directors on Aug 30, 2022 17:29:12 GMT -5
Time's Up in Tanzania
August 31st, 2022
Old Fort, Stone Town, Zanzibar, Tanzania
August 31st, 2022
Old Fort, Stone Town, Zanzibar, Tanzania
The camera pans around a small outdoor stone theater as the fans in attendance are on their feet shouting. Burt Tennor is in the ring hyping everyone up before the show starts.
Burt Tennor: WHAT’S THAT NAME?!
"REIGN!"
Burt Tennor: WHAT DO WE DO!?
"REIGN!"
Burt Tennor: That’s right Zanzibar!!!! It’s time to REIGN! REIGN! REIGN!
He says as he pumps his fists. The crowd responds in kind.
"REIGN!
REIGN!
REIGN!"
REIGN!
REIGN!"
Burt Tennor: OOOOH YEEEAAAAAH!
With the crowd cheering he goes to the corners, lifting up his arms to keep them hyped as commentary takes over.
Block: Welcome once again folks to another exciting night of REIGN action! I’m Vincente Block here with my broadcast partner-
Fletcher: -And ONLY broadcast partner-
Block: -Chet Fletcher. And was that really necessary?
Fletcher: Who cares, we’re here in Tanzania! In an old-school amphitheater! An older than old-school one, in fact!
Block: That we are, and what a night we have ahead of us, fir-
Fletcher: They’ve seen the card, Vince, we’ve got three Beat the Clock Challenges and then the mother of them all- the X*Crown has come to REIGN!
Block: I was working up to that. But yes folks, Steve Awesome managed to not only win the X*Crown over the XHF Network’s baddest guy on the block, but he also retained at Night of Champions to bring the title home to us! And tonight our new King of The World will be facing off against the X*Crown champion in an attempt to show her dominance here in the world of REIGN!
Fletcher: Speaking of Mrs. Von Krauss, she’ll be giving a special proclamation from her new position as the King of the World!
Burt Tennor: Oi! Are you guys done jib-jabbing yet? We’ve got a show to do!
Tennor had left the ring to shut the commentary up. With them sufficiently taken off guard he returns to the ring.
“Circus Apocalypse” by Vermillion Lies begins playing.
Burt Tennor: Ladies and gentlemen! It is my esteemed honor to welcome to the ring for her royal proclamation.....THE KING OF THE WORLD........ESMERALDA VOOOOOON KRAAUUUUSS!
Esmeralda von Krauss walks out from the back in a barely there red dress that shimmers. She makes her way down to the ring and steps through the ropes that are opened for her by Burt Tennor. She looks around at the cheering crowd and lights up an Egyptian cigarette in a blood red foot long holder.
Block: Well there she is, the first ever REIGN King of the World.
Fletcher: Shouldn't we be calling her the Queen of the World?
Block: That's not the name of the title.
Fletcher: Yeah but- yeah whatever.
The King of the World's Royal Proclamation
She motions to the back, waiting as Hehehe and Hahaha make their way down to the ring. Each of them have a brown sack over their shoulders. They get into the ring and stand by their mistress with ghastly grins.
Hehehe: We are here-
Hahaha: With the new plates, boss.
Fletcher: New plates!?
Block: Yes, the REIGN owners have given our King of the World some perks to being on top. Now shhh.
Esmeralda von Krauss: I have unified the plates at Night of Champions and became Queen of the World! Now, in order for someone to take this title from me, they must fight for a new set of plates of my choosing. It’s a simple thing, dahling. Win six plates and you get to challenge me for my championship.
Esmeralda takes in the excitement of the crowd. The plates are to be unveiled in moments! She flicks ashes onto the mat. She reaches into one of the bags with her free hand and pulls out a plate.
Esmeralda von Krauss: There is a theme to the new plates. One near and dear to my black heart. The winner of all six plates will become King of the Carnival. The first one we have here is the Lion Tamer plate.
Esmeralda holds up the plate for the audience to see that it has The picture of a man with a whip on one side and the lion on the other. She sets it down and gets another plate out of the bag.
Esmeralda von Krauss: This next plate is the Clown Plate! See, it has Hehehe on one side and Hahaha on the other. It’s so pretty as my boys are so pretty. Aren’t they?
The fans are not sure if she’s serious about calling the horrible twins pretty, but they cheer anyway. Probably out of fright for what she might do to them.
Esmeralda von Krauss: This next plate is the Big Top Plate. See, it has a picture of the Big Top on one side and a tightrope act on the other. You will likely need to be quite daring to seize this plate.
Esmeralda sets the plate down and picks up another. This plate has the picture of a female Ringmaster on one side and male Ringmaster on the other.
Esmeralda von Krauss: You’ll need real leadership skills to win this place. The Ringmaster Plate.
She puts it down and pulls out a fifth plate with a smile. This one has the Ring of Death on the side of the plate.
Esmeralda von Krauss: You know the people who have died doing the tricks on this piece of carnival equipment? Yeah, me neither, dahling. It’s all fabricated to make it sound dangerous.
Esmeralda picks up a final plate that has the horrid bust of Sticky the Clown is on it. The peeling face paint, the needle sharp teeth, the black gums oozing black blood as he smiles.
Esmeralda von Krauss: The final plate is the Nightmare plate. Expect the most horrific matches to come from fighting for this plate.
Esmeralda drops the final plate onto the mat and flicks her cigarette butt into the crowd.
Esmeralda von Krauss: Win them all and become “King of the Carnival” to be able to face me for my crown. Now, if you will excuse me…
“Circus Apocalypse” by Vermillion Lies begins again and Esmeralda von Krauss heads to the back with her twins hot on her heels.
Fletcher: My oh my! Well I for one welcome this new insane carnival we've been brought into.
Block: You would, though it does make me wonder what kind of bleak hellscape Donzig would have put forth.
Fletcher: Chaotic Circus vs Bleak Hellscape- not gonna lie but there's no real winners there.
Block: What a way to kick off the show!
Burt Tennor: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall-
“ONE FALL!”
Burt Tennor: -And is a Beat-The-Clock challenge match! The goal is to win as fast as possible! Making her way out first… from Blackpooooool, England….She is……BLAZE FUCKIN’ FREYA!
“Collapsing” by Demon Hunter blasts through the speakers as Blaze Freya walks backward through the curtain. She has a black hood over her head as the spotlights brighten on her. She removes the hood to reveal her beautiful face to the crowd, who cheer mightily. Feeding off of their excitement then rolls her shoulders a few times, sprinting down the ramp and sliding into the center of the ring, humping it briefly. Blaze then leans back on her knees running her fingers through her long black hair, flirtatiously winking at the nearest camera before standing up to her feet and walking back to her corner to await her opponent with a determined look on her face.
Block: This is the match that’ll set the bar for everyone else tonight!
Fletcher: Really? That’s what you’re focused on right now? Looking into the ring all you can think is that this is the match that’ll set our initial time to beat?
Block: Yes?
Fletcher: You’re hopeless.
Burt Tennor: And her opponent…..From Shiiiibuuuuya City, Japan….He is…….. “The Wolf”…. Taekhirooooooo Shimomuuuuuuura!
The opening of “Part Time God” by the Bad Dreamers begins to play through the night air, the lights spiraling around the area to a dark purple hue and the entrance curtain swinging open as Taekhiro Shimomura steps out. Sporting his white and green wrestling tights, a large jacket covered in white and green fur wrapped around his body, and attached to the jacket was a Wolf’s ‘severed head’. The Last Breathing Mercenary looked around to the crowd as they rained down the loud boos. The cocky grin on his face grows more as he just soaks in the negative reaction he receives. He walks somewhat slowly to the ring - all the while looking as masterful as he could - as he finally makes his way down to the ringside area. Shimomura makes his way up the steel steps, walking along the apron before heading through the middle ropes. His shit-eating grin as he spins around in the ring gives the fans more of a reason to boo as he makes his way up to the second rope and slips out of his ring jacket as it falls to the ground below. Shimomura stretches his arms out and allows the crowd to continue to boo for him, finding it to be his only motivation as he closes his eyes and tilts his head back.
Block: Shimomura is making his debut tonight, hoping to leave an impact here in REIGN.
Fletcher: See now is when you should be talking about this being the first match in the BTC series.
Block: It would be a huge win for Taekhiro if he could beat the clock from the first match and find himself in the ring against the X*Crown Champion next month.
Fletcher: Well let’s see if he can even win first!
Beat-the-Clock Challenge 1
Timed Singles Match
Blaze Freya vs Taekhiro Shimomura
Timed Singles Match
Blaze Freya vs Taekhiro Shimomura
The bell rings and Taekhiro Shimomura goes to the center of the ring to lock up. Blaze Freya on the other hand backs up into the ropes, puts one arm over the top, gives Taekhiro the finger with her other hand and flips out of the ring.
Block: Well that was an unexpected start.
Fletcher: Are we even counting that as a start? That’s more like a non-start.
Blaze casually walks around the outside of the ring clapping her hands above her head to get the crowd fired up. Shimomura does not look pleased. He shakes his head and slides out of the ring to get to her, but immediately Blaze rolls back in. From within the ring she points to her wrist like she’s wearing a watch and taps her foot impatiently while looking at Taekhiro. He moves towards the apron but Freya is fast with a baseball slide!
Fletcher: Yowch! That didn’t go as planned!
Block: It looks like Shimomura had that one scouted.
Indeed, because Taekhiro wasn’t taken by surprise and instead grabbed Blaze’s feet and yanked her out of the ring! The referee begins a ten count. Shimomura pulls Freya up by her hair and throws her into the ring and slides in after her. Once he’s inside though a recovering Blaze hits a quick basement DDT! She rolls him over and goes for the pin.
1…
Block: A quick kickout from Taekhiro!
He pushes her off of him and quickly gets to his feet. Blaze smiles as she gets back up. She runs at her opponent but he lands a low-flying dropkick to her knee. It puts her down on her hands and knees; quickly Shimomura takes a fast roundhouse kick to Freya’s head putting her down.
Fletcher: Wow she took all of that.
Block: …
Fletcher: I think you’re supposed to make a sex joke after that.
Block: Nope, she took all of that kick for sure though.
Taekhiro goes for the pin.
1…
2…
Suddenly he jerks up, accidentally breaking the pin! He tries again.
1…
2..- he jerks up again and the pin is inadvertently broken!
Block: What the heck is going on here?
Shimomura gets up and quickly kicks Blaze in her torso, driving the wind out of her. For her sake though she rolls out of the ring to catch her breath. Once on the outside she holds her wrist and mocks groping Taekhiro’s testicles with her other hand. He seems very upset.
Block: Wait, did she?
Fletcher: Well I suppose that’s one way to break out of a pin.
Casually, very aware of the time she is wasting, Blaze slowly walks back to the ring steps. Shimomura runs towards her. Thinking she has him scouted, Blaze dips her head through the ropes trying to hit him in the stomach, what she instead gets is a DDT back into the ring! Taekhiro hesitates before going for a pin. When he does bend down, Blaze pulls him down into a small package!
1…
2..
Kickout!
Fletcher: I didn’t expect that!
Block: It looks like Blaze is using her rather unorthodox style to get into her opponent’s head!
Fletcher: You mean she used sexual harassment to distract her Shimomura.
Block: I’m pretty sure that’s what I just said.
Blaze backs off and lets Taekhiro get up. She mocks crying because he’s having trouble nailing her down. Shimomura hits his head and tries to get his mind into kill mode despite everything Blaze has been doing to throw him off his game. She takes a run at him going for the TORN! spear. A mistake. Taekhiro quickly drops down and catches her in a guillotine choke!
Block: It looks like Shimomura was waiting for that one!
He wrenches on her head as the referee goes to check if Blaze wants to submit. Before she can give an answer though Taekhiro breaks the hold off and quickly gets up to land a stiff punt kick to Blaze! Now in control he pulls her up and throws her to the corner. To his surprise as he follows her, Blaze flips over the top rope and onto the apron! Taekhiro is able to stop himself but not before Blaze jumps onto the ropes and jumps off the top landing crotch-to-face on his shoulders!
Block: I don’t see this ending well for Blaze.
Fletcher: Odd, because she seems to think she’s got the upper hand.
Chet is right, Freya has put her hands on the back of Taekhiro’s head and grinds her crotch into his face while yelling to the crowd. He stumbles around a little trying to keep a hold of her without falling over. Finally Taekhiro is able to launch Blaze up just a little to get her legs off of his shoulders, she falls down and he grabs her around the waist, then drops backwards sending her face-first into the mat!
Fletcher: YOW! Her face took all of that one!
Block: A reverse Wolf Among Us! It looks like Shimomura is having to get unorthodox himself to counter Blaze Freya’s style!
Blaze is out. Taekhiro hooks the leg and goes for the pin.
1…
2…
3…
The bell rings and the ref holds up his hand.
Burt Tennor: Your winner at 8 minutes and 43 seconds…..TAEKHIRO SHIMOMURA!
Block: Sub-ten minutes! It’s a good start for tonight, can anyone beat that?
Fletcher: I’m not sure, he was able to end things pretty quickly once he got his head around Blaze’s tricks.
Block: For sure, but she also wasted a lot of time intentionally to throw him off.
Fletcher: Well then let’s not waste any more time and see what’s next!
Burt Tennor: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a part of the Beat the Clock series. The current time to beat is 8 minutes and 43 seconds.
The lights dim, blue and gold spotlights slowly circle around the darkened area. The soft ten second guitar intro to “The Hard Sell” by Coheed and Cambria plays. A heavy guitar riff rocks the arena. DT slowly walks into a blue spotlight with his head down hidden under a hoodie. It's black and has his custom interlocking DT logo with an Italian flag and mariners compass on it on the back. He stands in the spotlight and slowly looks up showing off his signature bowler hat and sunglasses under the hood. He slowly pushes the hood back revealing a serious face as he lowers his sunglasses before pulling them off and placing them in his hoodie pocket as he gazes around the open air theater. The spotlights turn into one tracking light following him to the ring as he high fives the fans on his way to the ring.
Burt Tennor: Making his way to the ring, hailing from the emerald city of Seattle, Washington, standing at 6'4" and weighing in at 260 pounds, he is the Master of the Dragon Sleeper … one half of the XHF Global Tag Team Champions … “The Main Attraction” ... DEATH TRAP!
He unzips the hoodie, revealing his XHF Global Tag Team Championship title as he moves towards the ring and drops the hoodie to the floor as he reaches the ring steps. He stops on the ring steps to look out at the crowd. He climbs to the apron and spins, hooking his arms over the top rope. A blue spotlight illuminates DT in the ring as the crowd erupts for the XHF Legend. He points out to the crowd and amps them up before stepping through the middle rope and running to the opposite side, grasping the top rope as he steps onto the bottom rope and points out at the crowd again. He steps to the center of the ring and removes his hat, tossing it to the timekeeper, before stretching on the ropes and cracking his neck and knuckles, waiting for the bell.
Fletcher: We have the old man in Death Trap against the young man in null. What will happen?
Block: A wrestling match?
Fletcher: I would think so, yeah.
Burt Tennor: And his opponent…from the Rust Belt…he is null!
The lights in the area drain of color. An insistent beat starts playing as null walks out, ignoring the fans. Then Trent Reznor's voice hits followed by a savage guitar sting follows and null walks on. null times his walk so the lead in to the chorus hits as he has stepped through the ropes. He looks out, blankly, at the crowd. null slowly gets his referee check and returns to his corner.
Fletcher: None of these guys scream "fast wrestler."
Block: You never know, looks can be deceiving.
Beat-the-Clock Challenge 2
Timed Singles Match
Death Trap vs null
Timed Singles Match
Death Trap vs null
As the bell sounds to start the match, Death Trap and null begin circling each other in the middle of the ring to see who can get an opening by which to strike. Null makes the first move, striking Death Trap across the jaw with a hard right hand. Death Trap catches a second shot and brings null to the mat with an arm drag.
Fletcher: Death Trap having none of that.
Block: None of what? Punches to the face? Would anyone want that?
Fletcher: No, I suppose not.
Block: Darn straight.
Death Trap grabs at null as he jumps right back to his feet and throws him with a belly to belly overhead suplex. He quickly goes for the cover.
One...
Tw-null kicks out.
Fletcher: Death Trap going for the five second win there.
Block: duh. It’s a race against the clock as well as null. Blaze Freya and Taekhiro Shimomura got a pretty quick time. Death Trap and null will have to do better.
Death Trap gets up where null is up quickly too and pelts him with lefts and rights before whipping Death Trap to the ropes. On the rebound, null goes for a backdrop, but gets kicked in the face. Death Trap pulls null straight and goes for a forward Russian leg sweep when null stomps on his foot and bodyslams Death Trap to the mat. He hits a knee drop and goes for the cover.
One...
Tw-Death Trap kicks out.
Fletcher: null hasn’t inflicted enough harm to get the pinfall.
Block: A few headshots should be able to do the trick.
Fletcher: Yeah, headshots would help finish this quickly.
Block; Duh. I mean I did say that, right?
null stands up and watches as Death Trap stands. He kicks Death Trap in the gut and goes for a lifting, flowing DDT, but Death Trap lifts him up instead and hits a backdrop driver. Death Trap jumps up to his feet and watches as null starts to rise, punt kicking him in the face to send blood and spittle flying across the ring.
Block: Ouch! I didn’t think it was going to be that kind of match.
Fletcher: A little bloodshed doesn’t hurt anyone.
Block: Except the guy bleeding.
Fletcher: Well, yeah.
Death Trap pulls null up and hits a sit out piledriver to really drive null’s head into the mat. Death Trap gets back up and waits for null to slowly stand up and goes for a superkick. null catches the foot and lunges in for a punch right to the boys. The crowd groans along with Death Trap as he falls over to the mat. Null goes for the cover.
One...
Two...
T-Death Trap kicks out.
Block: The ref should have yelled at null for the punch to the gonads.
Fletcher: It’s fine. It’s all fine. Death Trap shoulda wore a cup.
Block: This isn’t one of those sports that requires a cup!
Fletcher: Well, maybe it should be.
null stands up and pulls Death Trap to his feet. He again goes for the lifting, flowing DDT when Death Trap pulls his legs to bring him down to the mat. Death Trap backs up a few steps to give null the room to get up and rushes back in to hit several muay thai knee strikes. Death Trap backs up while null is stunned and hits a high roundhouse kick that takes null in the side of the head.
Fletcher: He nearly took null’s head off with that kick!
Block: He’s going for the quick cover!
One...
Two...
Three!
Death Trap stands up, looking surprised that the match ended so quickly. null rolls over and slaps the mat in frustration.
Burt Tennor: Winner of the match in 6 minutes and 45 seconds…Death Trap!
Block: He's done it! Death Trap has been able to beat the clock! Will he be our next contender to the X*Crown Championship?
Fletcher: I mean, do Rat or Donzig strike you as guys who'll move quickly? I think they'll want to drag the torture out as long as possible.
Block: Well that "long as possible" is just under seven minutes!
Burt Tennor: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the final match in the Beat the Clock Challenge and is scheduled for ONE FALL!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Burt Tennor: The current time to beat is Death Trap’s 6 minutes and 45 seconds! Entering first … from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania … he weighs in at 215 pounds and stands at six feet even … he is the War That Walks, the Scourge … DONZIG!
The light go down, and then come up an angry red. Donzig walks from the back, wearing his skull mask with his hood up. He pauses, glaring out across the crowd before he shakes his head before walking slowly to the ring. He circles around the ring, still watching the crowd before pausing to watch the announce team before he climbs the stairs. He stops at the ropes, reaching up to shove his hood back before stepping through the ropes. Then he takes off the mask, and shakes his head at the fans with a scowl before he leans back in his corner. Arms resting on the ropes while waiting for the match to start.
Fletcher: Gonna be real interesting to see how Donzig handles a speed test.
Block: For sure, Chet, he usually likes to torment and psychologically beat down his foes before beating them.
Fletcher: Hard to argue with his success here in REIGN.
Block: I do wonder how he will bounce back from his first real set back at Night of Champions.
Burt Tennor: And his opponent … from fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada … he stands at six feet and five inches tall, weighing in at a solid 285 pounds tonight, he is the OG Revolutionary, the XHF Legend and former two time X*Crown champion … RAT BASTARD!
A complete blackout accompanies the opening lyrics of Drowning Pool's "Tear Away." A bright flashing of white lights, and then red strobe lights accompany the music as Rat Bastard steps out into the light. Rat begins to walk to the ring, giving fans as Ringside the spooky fingers and talking smack as he does. Rat climbs the ring steps, and steps into the squared circle. Looking out at the crowd he smirks, soaking in all the hate from the crowd.
Block: I don’t like him, he looks greasy and he always smells drunk.
Fletcher: HEY you show some respect! This man is a legend and in the ring he has no equal! Watch as he introduces a little anarchy to Donzig.
Block: … Uh … isn’t that what Donzig wants?
Fletcher: … Vinny … stop making me feel stupid.
Beat-the-Clock Challenge 3
Timed Singles Match
Donzig vs Rat Bastard
Timed Singles Match
Donzig vs Rat Bastard
DING DING DING
Donzig glowers at Rat, but Ratty wastes no time and tosses a toothpick in the face of the Scourge. The King of Bastards takes the momentary distraction and throws hands at Donzig. Five quick punches sends him to the corner, and a flurry of chops reddens the chest of the War that Walks. A quick pull of the arm and Rat sends Donzig careening across the ring and chest first into the turnbuckle. A few steps back and he is picked up and put down with an atomic drop.
Fletcher: A quick start for the XHF Legend.
Block: Rat seems to understand the scope of the task at hand. He has under seven minutes to win this.
Rat pins quickly but Donzig kicks out at one and looks put off about it. Rat pulls him to his feet but the Scourge pokes him in the eyes. Bastard steps back and the Donzig headbutts him in the back of the head. A quick bridging German Suplex has Rat down on his shoulders. At one and a half the big man breaks the count. The Scourge unloads with stomps onto the prone Bastard. Ratty trips him and both men roll to their feet. They glare at each other and then immediately lunge into a test of strength. The arms drop to the side and they sputter a bit before Ratty plants a boot into the chest of the smaller fighter. A European Uppercut and Rat grabs Donzig and drops him with a shoulder breaker. Pin. One! Two! Kickout with authority!
Block: Rat is still working quickly here. But time is running low.
Fletcher: Two minute in and already a near fall. This is actually pretty exciting.
Ratty hauls Donzig up and gets another poke in the eye. Referee Bill Flamingo admonishes him this time but lets them continue. Donzig forearm shivers Rat and sends him to the ropes, catching him with a spinebuster and flipping into a jackknife pin. ONE! Two! Kickout. Donzig immediately jumps into the mount and begins choking the life out of Rat. Flamingo instructs him to stop, tapping his shoulder, finally counting to four before Donzig lets go and stands up to stroke his beard. He sprints off the ropes and catches the sitting up Rat with a sliding clothesline. Rat now has to fight off the Scourge as he bounces Rat’s head off the mat a few times while shouting in his face. He hauls him up and tries for the 25:17 but Rat manages to back body drop him. Donzig kips up and the two meet in the middle of the ring and rain punches on each other for a good amount of time before they both slow down and step back shaking their heads. They quickly reengage. More haymakers fly.
Fletcher: YES EMBRACE THE CHAOS!
Block: This isn’t so much a match as a war. I’m not sure who that favors.
Donzig again tries for the 25:17 but Rat shoves him away and he crashes into Bill Flamingo. Bill goes down but is not out, a sturdy ref he is. Donzig grabs his face in pain and turns to Rat and clotheslines him to the ground. He roars to the void and sits Rat up. Raining punches down to his face, Donzig laughs … right up until Rat buries his arm in the Scourge’s nether regions with a low blow of epic proportions. He then grabs them and twists. As Bill Flamingo pushes to his feet, Rat hits a small package bomb, wrapping up Donzig and grabbing the tights out of view of the ref. ONE TWO THREE! Donzig kicks out just after the three and rolls to his feet and tackles Ratty!
Burt Tennor: Your winner of this match AND the beat the clock challenge … at a time of 5 minutes and 54 seconds … RAT BASTARD!
Block:I don’t think either man even heard the bell!
Fletcher: No but they are still fighting, let’s watch and enjoy!
Donzig begins raining blows down. Rat rolls over and returns the favor. They begin to trade positions until they fall out of the ring. Rat grabs Don by the head and tosses him into the thin metal fence around the ringside area. Donzig catches the incoming charge and belly-to-belly suplexes Ratty into the crowd! He then leaps over the barricade and pie-faces an eager Tanzanian fan away. He grabs a beer from another and dumps it on Rat. Rat grabs a plate of snack food and throws it into the face of the Scourge, saturating his beard in condiments. Donzig again tackles Rat onto the stone steps and begins to slam his head on the ground.
Fletcher: Donzig with no chill here, he is going to injure our winner.
Block: Security seems in no rush to help out …
Rat manages to shove him sending him a few steps down. As the fans mob Donzig, Rat gets to his feet. Donzig shoves away the fans and barrels in but Rat boots him in the gut. BASTARD BOMB ONTO THE STONE BENCHES AT THE TOP OF THE AUDITORIUM! Donzig rolls off the bench in agony. Ratty takes a minute to drink a fan’s beer and get himself to his feet proper. He shakes out the cobwebs and chases the now crawling Donzig. Donzig out of instinct, boots him and hits the Stunner as they tumble out the back of the arena. Both men continue to brawl on the ground as they roll out of view.
Block: They’ve … they’ve gone right into the streets of Tanzania!
Fletcher: This won’t end well. Well either way we have an X*Crown match to worry about, let’s get back to it!
Burt Tennor: Welcome everyone in Tanzania. It is now time for your maaaaaaaain event. It is scheduled for one round and is for the XHF’s top global championship the X*Crooooooown. Introducing first. She is your King of the Wooooooooorld Esmeralda Von Krauss!
“Circus Apocalypse” by Vermillion Lies begins playing as Esmeralda von Krauss slowly steps out from the back in a shimmering silver dress. She holds a silver foot long cigarette holder in her hand that she smokes an Egyptian cigarette. She smiles at the mixture of boos and catcalls from the crowd.
Fletcher: Look at the Queen. All in her glory with the King of the World belt around her waist.
Block: Is she going to come down to the ring anytime soon?
Esmeralda von Krauss slowly makes her way to the ring and motions to Burt Tennor, who rushes over and opens the ropes for her to slowly step through, bending at the waist for maximum effect. Once in the ring, she releases the shoulder straps of the dress and lets it fall to the mat. To the dismay of the many male (and a few female) fans in the audience, she has a black wrestling singlet underneath. She picks the dress up and drapes it over the corner. She then steps to the center of the ring and watches for her opponent to come down.
Burt Tennor: And her opponent. He has appeared in dozens of movies that you can find in your local Walmart’s bargain bin. He has his own streaming service with over 20 subscribers and only one negative review. He is the man to defeat the final boss. The man who gave me these “facts” is YOUR XHF X*Crown Champion, Steeeeeeeeve Aweeeeeeeesome.
All the lights in the area die out and the fans in attendance start chanting his name.
Half The Crowd: AWE-SOME
Other Half: SUCKS!
Half The Crowd: AWE-SOME
Other Half: SUCKS!
Half The Crowd: AWE-SOME
Other Half: SUCKS!
Dramatic Pause.
"REGRETS I'VE HAD MINE!"
The lights in the theater explode to life as they flash green and black to the beat as Steve Awesome comes running out with intensity to the hyped up chorus of "Full of Regrets" by Danko Jones.
"Lonely nights and a whole lot of wasted time!
If you see her wont you tell her for me
It's better this way to avoid all the misery"
If you see her wont you tell her for me
It's better this way to avoid all the misery"
The chorus plays again as Steve walks to the ring. The guitar starts soloing and Steve hops into the ring and he provocatively slips off his jacket and then spins and drops into a kneel and he flexes his arms. He gets a slow motion effect as pyro sprays behind him.
Block: There's our champion in all of his glory!
Fletcher: Isn't EVK our champ?
Block: Ok, well we have two champs now.
Fletcher: And tonight they fight!
Main Event Singles Match
X*Crown Championship
Steve Awesome (c) vs Esmeralda von Krauss
X*Crown Championship
Steve Awesome (c) vs Esmeralda von Krauss
The ref goes to call for the bell, but before he can Steve stops him. He motions to EVK and then makes a pat down motion. EVK protests, but the ref obliges. He pats down her legs and finds her patented needles hiding in her tights. He pats her side and finds a blade in her waistline. He goes to check her breasts and decides better of it and just asks her to produce her weapons. After several minutes of digging around EVK produces enough knifes and pointy objects to fill a display case. The ref looks to Steve to see if the champ is satisfied and he nods and the ref calls for the bell.
DING DING
EVK moves in and goes to grapple with the champ, but the champ shuffles away. Steve circles the ring in no hurry engage with the woman who stalked him for so long. EVK shoots in for the double leg takedown, but again Steve shuffles to the side to avoid it. EVK slams the mat in frustration, and quickly gets up and charges at Steve and swings wildly with the clothesline, but Steve ducks. EVK turns around and Steve strikes BOOM! thigh slap, but EVK ducks and moves out of the way.
Block: Wow what a shot.
Fletcher: He completely missed.
Block: It sure didn’t sound like it.
Fletcher: He slapped his thigh that’s why.
Steve shakes his head. He can’t believe he missed, and in his frustrations he took his eye off of EVK for just long enough and she moves in with a rear waist lock. Steve grabs at the hands and goes to break the hold, but EVK holds tight and lifts for the suplex, but Steve drops his weight and blocks the attempt. Steve again grabs at the hands and breaks the hold and performs a standing switch locking in a rear waist lock of his own. EVK doesn’t reach for the hands, though, but instead grinds herself against Steve. Steve makes a noise we don’t hear often when he lets out a loud “eww” and releases and backs away disgusted. EVK immediately turns and runs and lays the champ out with a huge lariat.
Block: That’s one way to get out of a hold.
Fletcher: She may be slimy and disgusting, but she’s effective.
EVK rains down stomps on Steve screaming at him as she does so. EVK reaches down and grabs Steve by the hair and pulls him up to his feet. She looks the champion in the glazed eyes and slaps him hard across the face. This seems to wake the champ up and he responds with a right to the face, then another, and another until EVK is leaned up on the ropes. Steve grabs EVK and whips her across the ring. EVK hits the ropes and heads back to Steve and leaps and nails Steve with her leaping palm strike.
Block: What impact!
Fletcher: Awesome didn’t see that coming.
Block: He may not be seeing much now, he appears to be busted open.
Fletcher: The wily veteran that he is he rolled out of the ring to recover.
Steve did indeed roll out and is grasping at his nose to stop the blood from flowing. Inside the ring EVK is stalking her prey and runs and slides with a baseball slide, but at the last second Steve side steps the attempt and grabs EVK by the legs and drags her down to the floor. He pulls her up to her feet and the two begin exchanging blows back and forth until Steve finally blocks one of EVK’s shots and counters with a knee lift to the stomach. With EVK doubled over Steve grabs her by the head and lands a DDT on the floor! That damage is not enough for Steve. He wants to punish the woman who stalked him and he picks her up from behind and locks in the Awesome Lock.
Block: This should be it. EVK is tapping!
Fletcher: She may be, but you and I know you can’t win on the outside like that.
Even with EVK tapping Steve refuses to let go. EVK wildly shuffles her feet trying to find any way to to break the hold and she does when she lifts her legs and kicks off of the ring apron driving both of them back causing Steve to hit back first on the ring barrier and break the hold. EVK gasps for air and stumbles to the ring and rolls in while Steve grabs his back in pain.
Block: Not sure this is the smartest idea by EVK. Steve can just stay out there and retain by countout.
Fletcher: True, but she desperately needed to get away from Steve and I don’t think he’s going to want to retain like that.
Steve slowly makes his way over to the steps and onto the apron. EVK gets to her feet still holding her throat. Steve carefully steps through the ropes, but he momentarily takes his eyes off of his opponent and EVK runs and nails him with a knee lift. EVK quickly hooks Steve up and lifts for a vertical suplex, but Steve floats over and lands on his feet. EVK turns around into a stiff forearm shot. Steve then grabs EVK and whips her into the turnbuckle. EVK hits hard chest first and holds there. Steve waves his arms pumping up the crowd as he moves to the opposite corner. In front of EVK is her dress she placed there before the match and she reaches in and grabs something before she turns around. Steve crotch chops as soon as she turns around and runs across the ring for a Scorpion Splash but EVK holds up a long needle in each hand and drives it into Steve’s throat.
Fletcher: She’s crafty that one.
Block: No wonder she gave up all her weapons so easily.
Fletcher: And now she tosses it aside before the ref notices.
Steve stumbles back grabbing at his throat and EVK explodes out of the corner with yet another Superman palm strike. Steve’s nose shoots out blood again and he crumbles to the mat. This time EVK is quick on her opponent before he can roll to safety and she makes the cover…1…2…NO! Steve kicks out. EVK slams the mat, but quickly springs up to her feet. She reaches down and grabs him around the neck. She yells something and grabs Steve by the tights and lifts him up and drives him head first into the mat with an inverted DDT. EVK quickly rolls over onto Steve…1…2…3, but NO, Steve’s hand grabbed the ropes.
Block: That was closer than close.
Fletcher: Esmeralda thinks she’s done it though.
EVK leaps up raising her arms in victory, but the ref is pointing at the bottom rope. EVK sees this now and she begins screaming. She backs the ref into the corner screaming in his face, but the ref doesn’t back down. EVK screams one more time before she turns back to the champion and reaches down to pull him up, but Steve counters with a small package…1…2…EVK kicks out. EVK is quick back up to her feet and Steve is up as well, but EVK pounces and delivers a right, a left, and then hits a spinning kick that stumbles back into the corner. EVK is red with anger and moves in on Steve, but SLAP!
Awesome: I hope that I slapped the taste out of her mouth.
Steve dives on top of his opponent…1…2…EVK kicks out. Steve is back up to his feet and quickly goes to grab EVK, but she counters with an eye poke. Steve stumbles back and doubles over holding his eye. EVK positions herself and crouches down.
Block: She’s looking for Justice!
Steve begins to lift up and EVK leaps for the palm strike, but Steve steps back out of the way! EVK’s momentum causes her to land with her back to Steve. Steve quickly grabs her with the Steve Lock! This time EVK doesn’t tap, no, now she’s ready and she quickly uses her feet to her advantage again. She lifts her feet up and kicks the middle rope to push back Steve, but Steve is ready and instead turns it into a Awesome Plex with the bridge…1…2…3! Steve Awesome retains!
Burt Tennor: Your winner and STILL X*Crown Champion.........STEEEEEEEEVE AWESOOOOOOOOOME!
Block: What a match!
Fletcher: Awesome has pinned the King of World.
Block: Now Awesome has that under his belt, because his next opponent is a real Bastard.
Fletcher: Well, if he's not rotting in prison here for disturbing the peace come next month.
Steve rolls out of the ring and begins high fiving the crowd before he retrieves his X*Crown Championship and raises it up high as we go off air.