Post by Dave D-Flipz on Sept 12, 2022 23:13:49 GMT -5
“DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATED!!”
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Blast it all, I need to get this right! Oh gosh darn that Phroooaggh for stealing my superior intellect!
*There is a beat as the benefactor of the Angry Mad Chemists looks around, as if awaiting the sarcastic remark that is sure to come. But he is alone in his sanctum sanctimonius inside the heart of the DEI HQ. He sighs and turns back to work*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: *imitating Billy* He GAVE you the intellect to start with Doof! *normal* WHY YES BILLY THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME! I am supposed to be the evil mastermind here, commanding the loyalty of three like-minded, slightly less handsome, mad scientists. And yet here I am fumbling along while my arch-enemy, two of my team, one of THEIR arch enemies … and a revolutionary anti-Old One battle an evil eldritch clone of myself and his pet dragon … WHICH I MADE! Why didn’t I build a self-destruct into THAT invention?
*Doof is tinkering with some various mechanical doo-dads and gears and sparks are flying as he tries to solve his problem. What is his problem? Oh only that thing he just said … Outside the building we find an eldritch horror, the mechanic of the AMC, and the chaos expert standing face to face with a wingaling dragon … with a beefy arm on the back of his neck … look at all his majesty. Around them are 100 horrible demonic entities circling the building and attacking any of the people who live in the apartment complex beneath the DEI HQ where the AMC calls home. Across the lot is a blue supersonic hedgehog and a platypus wearing a fedora, fighting a deformed, hunchbacked clone of Doof inside of a battle armor. Picture the Iron Monger from Iron Man.*
Sonic: Agent P, dude, we need to get this guy out of his tin can!
*Rd. Food laughs maniacally as he raises his iron hands to the sky*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: There no stopping me! I harvest your souls! Wait … do animals have souls?
Sonic: HEY! That’s NO good!
*Sonic launches at him with a light speed dash, rings appearing in a straight line in front of Food. Sonic zips along them and crashes into the mech. Which shudders but stays stiff. Sonic bounces off like a spinball and Perry whips his tail around sending the blue hog back at the legs of the Iron Clone in a spindash for the ages!*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Bahahaha that no good!
*He stomps onto the blue ball, sending rings scattering everywhere. Sonic manages to grab like eight and lands next to a bear trap … that is to say a crude amalgamation of a bear trap and an actual set of bear jaws. Very eldritch. Sonic dominithinks for a minute. He then sees a gorgeous blonde woman of amazingly large proportions and very tiny arms strolling through the carnage almost untouched. Her tail accidentally swatting away some of the demons as she moves to the AMC HQ.*
Sonic: WHOA! Hot diggidy chili dogs. Excuse me Miss but this is no place for a lady like you!
*He zips around the lot triggering all the traps and avoiding them using his super speed, making the path safe for her. He tips his honorary OWCA animal agent hat to her and she blushes … right in her skeletal T-Rex cheeks. Sonic narrowly dodges a blast of demon fire and a literal blast of leeches from the cannons on Food’s mech.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: STOP BEING HERO! PRETTY LADY SHOULD BE MINE!
*Agent P does some martial arts to the man in the suit but the armor is too tough for his platypus limbs to break. He makes that chattering sound and springs off of him, causing Food to punch himself in the face.*
Sonic: Stop hitting yourself.
*Sonic leaps onto the head of the mech and dodges causing him to hit himself again.*
Sonic: Stop hitting yourself!
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: GAH! YOU BIG MEAN BULLY! ME SMITE YOU!
Phroooaggh: It feels like we’ve been fighting for a month! Is Doof going to help us?
*The scene shifts to Phroooaggh using his staff to shield his portly companions. Ovi continues to release small robots at the dragon, but the dragon fire continues to destroy the shells, freeing the SAFE AND SOUND small animals inside.*
Ovi: CURSE this fool! How do we beat this monstrosity! My tech is meant to combat a small blue hedgehog, not a magical dragon!
Ian: Perhaps, uh, using robots that are larger?
Ovi: But … how will the small bunnies and chicks power them?
Ian: We have the power of the boundless, uh, um, scientific universe at our um, fingertips. Haha … how can you not find a better robot fuel source?
Ovi: Oh HUSH UP Brundle, what do you even bring to this battle?
*Ian strips off his shirt and reclines on the asphalt of the parking lot. The dragon stops shooting fire for a second to go bug-eyed and sweat. Phroooaggh launches an electric blast from his Z-staff and the dragon stumbles back with a …*
Burninator: RRRAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWRRRRRRGGGGGGH!
Phroooaggh: Anytime you guys want to figure out how to actually help, like the two small animals, I’d be grateful. I can’t keep this up forever. The boundless madness of the sunken city that powers me isn’t endless you know.
*They both look at him and blink …*
Ian: Boundless …
Ovi: Ian … Ignore him. We need to brainstorm.
*The blonde t-rex woman sidles past them*
Ian: Hello nurse. What is a fine scientific discovery like you doing here?
*CHING! Rings hit the ground again and a blue blur whips around to collect them. Suddenly …*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Dr. Doofenshmirtz: EUREKA! I’VE DONE IT! My ANTI-ELDRITCH CLONE-INATOR!!!!!!!
NORM: HI! I’m Norm!
*Doof launches out of the roof of his building in his assistant robot, Norm the normal human.
Ovi: Uh … that’s our salvation.
Ian: Well the sheer amount of unpredictable chaos in that should do SOMETHING. Or not.
*Perry facepalms.*
NORM: I’m not normal anymore. Shake hands?
*Norm holds out his massive hand to the robot suit of Rd. Food.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Me convince you to join us?
*He shakes his hand … and immediately Norm goes full “PUNY GOD” from the Avengers on the mech.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: AAAHHHH! THE CONCUSSIONS! THE CONCESSIONS!
*Food’s armor begins to launch snacks every which way as his head rattles around the armor suit.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Now Norm … let’s show them the true power of an ANGRY MAD CHEMIST! BATTLE-INATOR MODE INITIATE!
*Norm transforms right in front of the boys.*
Ovi & Ian & Sonic: OOOOOOOOOOH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
NORM: Get dunked on!
Phroooaggh: About bloody time.
*Norm fires lasers and fire and electricity at both villians. Food hunkers down as the Burninator fights fire with fire. The battle is equally matched and one liners fly from the scientists and Phroooaggh like an episode of MST3K, which I cannot reprint here because I am not smart enough to actually have that much material laid out for a 2k RP. In the chaos the blonde woman walks out of the HQ with a briefcase full of random stuff*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Uh … you guys know that is just the t-rex wrestler from Bad to the Bone right? It’s not even a good disguise.
Ovi: Pfft like we can take YOUR word for it.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: WHAT!? Why do you say that?
*Ovi points to Agent P.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yes that’s Perry the Platypus.
*Fedora off*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: OH! Excuse me fine random platypus have you seen my arch nemesis around, we could really use his help right-
*As the entire team facepalms, this allows the dragon to launch a sonic scream and knock them all to the ground. Food manages to kick out the legs of Norm. They stand over our team laughing.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: IT THE END NOW!
Billy: YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAW!
*Everyone cranes their heads as the chemistruckinator launches off a random piece of ramp shaped debris and crashes into the mech. The ablative armor and chemical coating absorb the impact like a champ but the mech is dented and leaking hydraulics. The dragon roars as he summons the horde of demons to attack.*
Ovi: WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU BILLY?!
Billy: Uh well …
September 1, 2022 – North Carolina outside CAR HQ
Billy: WHAT DO WE WANT? BILLY’S BOOB! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? NOW!
Billy: Very important Evil League of Evil meeting.
*Billy closes the window and pushes a button. The demon circle the car until they all crash to the ground and begin to writhe in agony at the poisonous touch of the D.O.O.F. FLOOF! Employed as an actual attack!*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: YES! MY INVENTIONS DO WORK!
Billy: In the right hands Doc…
*The Floof from the Orbital Floofinator seems to have been upgraded and is actually causing the demons to dissolve back into their own reality, parallel to our own.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: NO! MY ARMY! CHTHULU WANT THEM UNHARMED … ALSO OUT OF HOUSE LONGER! HE HAD HOT DATE! Some guy name Primal … threesome with Godzilla. Me not think it real …
*Perry leaps up and clobbers Food with his tail, knocking him from the mech and to the ground. Phroooaggh uses his staff to ensnare the Burninator. Finally Billy points the Indoctinator at them both … and turns it to full power! The radiation is focused but so powerful that even a distance away Billy’s butt inflates ever so slightly. Ovi’s moustache and Doof’s hair begin to move on their own. Ian begins to sweat. Phroooaggh begins to dance uncontrollably.*
Phroooaggh: GAH! Small price to pay!
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: OH EM GEE! IT’S THE EH EM SEE! I am a huge fan of yours. Me want autograph. You heroes!
*The side effects begin to show as Food begins to babble uncontrollably until he actually dehydrates himself. And his limbs shrink to comical size. The dragon meanwhile roars … until he pops and turns into a tiny normal looking white bunny rabbit!*
Burninator: YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAST OF ME YOU GLORIOUS WONDERFUL SCIENTISTS!
*He grabs Food, who is now a limbless torso and head, brain all discombobulated.*
Billy: It’s … it’s over …
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: My stuff actually works! This story will be told for years!
… … …
Billy: Anyone up to race?
1. Did you avoid the sink hole? If not, how did you get out?
Ovi: Billy get out of the holes, how will that help win you a Sippy Cup?
Billy: I don’t know, winning didn’t earn me MY GOLDEN BOOB THAT IS MINE AND NOT THE BAD TO THE BONE TEAM’S!
Ian: Just activate the corrosion gun and burn a ramp up to the surface. Haha.
2. What is Mt. Hold-Ma-Beer shooting off this time?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Is that … spiced cider?
3. Is your vehicle sliding?
Sonic: WHOA TOTAL TOKYO DRIFT DUDE!
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: WE WON! AND NO EVIL DOPPLEGANGER TO STEAL MY STUFF!
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Billy: … This is all a conspiracy to hold down the golden boob loving evil mad scientists!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Blast it all, I need to get this right! Oh gosh darn that Phroooaggh for stealing my superior intellect!
*There is a beat as the benefactor of the Angry Mad Chemists looks around, as if awaiting the sarcastic remark that is sure to come. But he is alone in his sanctum sanctimonius inside the heart of the DEI HQ. He sighs and turns back to work*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: *imitating Billy* He GAVE you the intellect to start with Doof! *normal* WHY YES BILLY THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME! I am supposed to be the evil mastermind here, commanding the loyalty of three like-minded, slightly less handsome, mad scientists. And yet here I am fumbling along while my arch-enemy, two of my team, one of THEIR arch enemies … and a revolutionary anti-Old One battle an evil eldritch clone of myself and his pet dragon … WHICH I MADE! Why didn’t I build a self-destruct into THAT invention?
*Doof is tinkering with some various mechanical doo-dads and gears and sparks are flying as he tries to solve his problem. What is his problem? Oh only that thing he just said … Outside the building we find an eldritch horror, the mechanic of the AMC, and the chaos expert standing face to face with a wingaling dragon … with a beefy arm on the back of his neck … look at all his majesty. Around them are 100 horrible demonic entities circling the building and attacking any of the people who live in the apartment complex beneath the DEI HQ where the AMC calls home. Across the lot is a blue supersonic hedgehog and a platypus wearing a fedora, fighting a deformed, hunchbacked clone of Doof inside of a battle armor. Picture the Iron Monger from Iron Man.*
Sonic: Agent P, dude, we need to get this guy out of his tin can!
*Rd. Food laughs maniacally as he raises his iron hands to the sky*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: There no stopping me! I harvest your souls! Wait … do animals have souls?
Sonic: HEY! That’s NO good!
*Sonic launches at him with a light speed dash, rings appearing in a straight line in front of Food. Sonic zips along them and crashes into the mech. Which shudders but stays stiff. Sonic bounces off like a spinball and Perry whips his tail around sending the blue hog back at the legs of the Iron Clone in a spindash for the ages!*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Bahahaha that no good!
*He stomps onto the blue ball, sending rings scattering everywhere. Sonic manages to grab like eight and lands next to a bear trap … that is to say a crude amalgamation of a bear trap and an actual set of bear jaws. Very eldritch. Sonic dominithinks for a minute. He then sees a gorgeous blonde woman of amazingly large proportions and very tiny arms strolling through the carnage almost untouched. Her tail accidentally swatting away some of the demons as she moves to the AMC HQ.*
Sonic: WHOA! Hot diggidy chili dogs. Excuse me Miss but this is no place for a lady like you!
*He zips around the lot triggering all the traps and avoiding them using his super speed, making the path safe for her. He tips his honorary OWCA animal agent hat to her and she blushes … right in her skeletal T-Rex cheeks. Sonic narrowly dodges a blast of demon fire and a literal blast of leeches from the cannons on Food’s mech.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: STOP BEING HERO! PRETTY LADY SHOULD BE MINE!
*Agent P does some martial arts to the man in the suit but the armor is too tough for his platypus limbs to break. He makes that chattering sound and springs off of him, causing Food to punch himself in the face.*
Sonic: Stop hitting yourself.
*Sonic leaps onto the head of the mech and dodges causing him to hit himself again.*
Sonic: Stop hitting yourself!
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: GAH! YOU BIG MEAN BULLY! ME SMITE YOU!
Phroooaggh: It feels like we’ve been fighting for a month! Is Doof going to help us?
*The scene shifts to Phroooaggh using his staff to shield his portly companions. Ovi continues to release small robots at the dragon, but the dragon fire continues to destroy the shells, freeing the SAFE AND SOUND small animals inside.*
Ovi: CURSE this fool! How do we beat this monstrosity! My tech is meant to combat a small blue hedgehog, not a magical dragon!
Ian: Perhaps, uh, using robots that are larger?
Ovi: But … how will the small bunnies and chicks power them?
Ian: We have the power of the boundless, uh, um, scientific universe at our um, fingertips. Haha … how can you not find a better robot fuel source?
Ovi: Oh HUSH UP Brundle, what do you even bring to this battle?
*Ian strips off his shirt and reclines on the asphalt of the parking lot. The dragon stops shooting fire for a second to go bug-eyed and sweat. Phroooaggh launches an electric blast from his Z-staff and the dragon stumbles back with a …*
Burninator: RRRAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWRRRRRRGGGGGGH!
Phroooaggh: Anytime you guys want to figure out how to actually help, like the two small animals, I’d be grateful. I can’t keep this up forever. The boundless madness of the sunken city that powers me isn’t endless you know.
*They both look at him and blink …*
Ian: Boundless …
Ovi: Ian … Ignore him. We need to brainstorm.
*The blonde t-rex woman sidles past them*
Ian: Hello nurse. What is a fine scientific discovery like you doing here?
*CHING! Rings hit the ground again and a blue blur whips around to collect them. Suddenly …*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Dr. Doofenshmirtz: EUREKA! I’VE DONE IT! My ANTI-ELDRITCH CLONE-INATOR!!!!!!!
NORM: HI! I’m Norm!
*Doof launches out of the roof of his building in his assistant robot, Norm the normal human.
Ovi: Uh … that’s our salvation.
Ian: Well the sheer amount of unpredictable chaos in that should do SOMETHING. Or not.
*Perry facepalms.*
NORM: I’m not normal anymore. Shake hands?
*Norm holds out his massive hand to the robot suit of Rd. Food.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Me convince you to join us?
*He shakes his hand … and immediately Norm goes full “PUNY GOD” from the Avengers on the mech.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: AAAHHHH! THE CONCUSSIONS! THE CONCESSIONS!
*Food’s armor begins to launch snacks every which way as his head rattles around the armor suit.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Now Norm … let’s show them the true power of an ANGRY MAD CHEMIST! BATTLE-INATOR MODE INITIATE!
*Norm transforms right in front of the boys.*
Ovi & Ian & Sonic: OOOOOOOOOOH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
NORM: Get dunked on!
Phroooaggh: About bloody time.
*Norm fires lasers and fire and electricity at both villians. Food hunkers down as the Burninator fights fire with fire. The battle is equally matched and one liners fly from the scientists and Phroooaggh like an episode of MST3K, which I cannot reprint here because I am not smart enough to actually have that much material laid out for a 2k RP. In the chaos the blonde woman walks out of the HQ with a briefcase full of random stuff*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Uh … you guys know that is just the t-rex wrestler from Bad to the Bone right? It’s not even a good disguise.
Ovi: Pfft like we can take YOUR word for it.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: WHAT!? Why do you say that?
*Ovi points to Agent P.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yes that’s Perry the Platypus.
*Fedora off*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: OH! Excuse me fine random platypus have you seen my arch nemesis around, we could really use his help right-
*As the entire team facepalms, this allows the dragon to launch a sonic scream and knock them all to the ground. Food manages to kick out the legs of Norm. They stand over our team laughing.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: IT THE END NOW!
Billy: YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAW!
*Everyone cranes their heads as the chemistruckinator launches off a random piece of ramp shaped debris and crashes into the mech. The ablative armor and chemical coating absorb the impact like a champ but the mech is dented and leaking hydraulics. The dragon roars as he summons the horde of demons to attack.*
Ovi: WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU BILLY?!
Billy: Uh well …
September 1, 2022 – North Carolina outside CAR HQ
Billy: WHAT DO WE WANT? BILLY’S BOOB! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? NOW!
Billy: Very important Evil League of Evil meeting.
*Billy closes the window and pushes a button. The demon circle the car until they all crash to the ground and begin to writhe in agony at the poisonous touch of the D.O.O.F. FLOOF! Employed as an actual attack!*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: YES! MY INVENTIONS DO WORK!
Billy: In the right hands Doc…
*The Floof from the Orbital Floofinator seems to have been upgraded and is actually causing the demons to dissolve back into their own reality, parallel to our own.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: NO! MY ARMY! CHTHULU WANT THEM UNHARMED … ALSO OUT OF HOUSE LONGER! HE HAD HOT DATE! Some guy name Primal … threesome with Godzilla. Me not think it real …
*Perry leaps up and clobbers Food with his tail, knocking him from the mech and to the ground. Phroooaggh uses his staff to ensnare the Burninator. Finally Billy points the Indoctinator at them both … and turns it to full power! The radiation is focused but so powerful that even a distance away Billy’s butt inflates ever so slightly. Ovi’s moustache and Doof’s hair begin to move on their own. Ian begins to sweat. Phroooaggh begins to dance uncontrollably.*
Phroooaggh: GAH! Small price to pay!
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: OH EM GEE! IT’S THE EH EM SEE! I am a huge fan of yours. Me want autograph. You heroes!
*The side effects begin to show as Food begins to babble uncontrollably until he actually dehydrates himself. And his limbs shrink to comical size. The dragon meanwhile roars … until he pops and turns into a tiny normal looking white bunny rabbit!*
Burninator: YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAST OF ME YOU GLORIOUS WONDERFUL SCIENTISTS!
*He grabs Food, who is now a limbless torso and head, brain all discombobulated.*
Billy: It’s … it’s over …
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: My stuff actually works! This story will be told for years!
… … …
Billy: Anyone up to race?
1. Did you avoid the sink hole? If not, how did you get out?
Ovi: Billy get out of the holes, how will that help win you a Sippy Cup?
Billy: I don’t know, winning didn’t earn me MY GOLDEN BOOB THAT IS MINE AND NOT THE BAD TO THE BONE TEAM’S!
Ian: Just activate the corrosion gun and burn a ramp up to the surface. Haha.
2. What is Mt. Hold-Ma-Beer shooting off this time?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Is that … spiced cider?
3. Is your vehicle sliding?
Sonic: WHOA TOTAL TOKYO DRIFT DUDE!
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: WE WON! AND NO EVIL DOPPLEGANGER TO STEAL MY STUFF!
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Billy: … This is all a conspiracy to hold down the golden boob loving evil mad scientists!
