Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Aug 30, 2017 10:13:30 GMT -5
Ted: And we end tonight with the weekly XHF:NM report, so take it away Joey!
*The camera moves over a couple inches and we see not Joey Hawke, but the ever drunk Randy Angel looking mildly buzzed.*
Randy: As you can see, Mr. Hawke is not here tonight, I am filling in. He's scouting, or…something…something. The point is, I'm here tonight, and I'm going to deliver the results of "Worlds Collide." Alright, the first match featured Thomas Rama….Rick…..It featured that new guy. And he was taking on Heavymetal-Borg. I gotta say, that guy is super sweet when you've got like a few in ya. I mean, he's all colorful and crazy and stuff, god I love that. Thomas is boring, and was boring. Heavymetal-Borg was sweet, and crazy, and cool. I was really drunk. Anyway, during the match, Thomas was ok, not great, but acceptable. Heavymetal was on his A-game, pulling out sneaky moves left and right. It also helped that Evil-Borg was at ring side and the ref couldn't see. Yeah, it was good times. Anyway, Heavymetal used the purple haze and the ref didn't realize what had happened until after he called the pin. God I love that ref, he's the best.
*He halfheartedly shuffles the papers.*
Randy: Anyway, onto the match that really mattered. Me Vs Quake. I frickin' dominated. I was the cat's meow, I rocked the house. I didn't win persay, but I didn't lose either. Quake was mad because I was blasted, I was mad because Quake was being a dick, and in the end, we started fighting, some stuff was said, some tables were broke, some feelings were hurt, y'know the drill.
*Quick shuffle.*
Randy: Finally the main event. Shogun-Tron was acting very odd the entire time, almost like some sort of over-exaggerated version of himself. It didn't help things at all though as Harry continued to show his domination and retained his title. And that's the news for tonight.
Bill: Dude, we've got like ten minutes left.
*Randy just shrugs and walks off as the camera fades.*
*The camera moves over a couple inches and we see not Joey Hawke, but the ever drunk Randy Angel looking mildly buzzed.*
Randy: As you can see, Mr. Hawke is not here tonight, I am filling in. He's scouting, or…something…something. The point is, I'm here tonight, and I'm going to deliver the results of "Worlds Collide." Alright, the first match featured Thomas Rama….Rick…..It featured that new guy. And he was taking on Heavymetal-Borg. I gotta say, that guy is super sweet when you've got like a few in ya. I mean, he's all colorful and crazy and stuff, god I love that. Thomas is boring, and was boring. Heavymetal-Borg was sweet, and crazy, and cool. I was really drunk. Anyway, during the match, Thomas was ok, not great, but acceptable. Heavymetal was on his A-game, pulling out sneaky moves left and right. It also helped that Evil-Borg was at ring side and the ref couldn't see. Yeah, it was good times. Anyway, Heavymetal used the purple haze and the ref didn't realize what had happened until after he called the pin. God I love that ref, he's the best.
*He halfheartedly shuffles the papers.*
Randy: Anyway, onto the match that really mattered. Me Vs Quake. I frickin' dominated. I was the cat's meow, I rocked the house. I didn't win persay, but I didn't lose either. Quake was mad because I was blasted, I was mad because Quake was being a dick, and in the end, we started fighting, some stuff was said, some tables were broke, some feelings were hurt, y'know the drill.
*Quick shuffle.*
Randy: Finally the main event. Shogun-Tron was acting very odd the entire time, almost like some sort of over-exaggerated version of himself. It didn't help things at all though as Harry continued to show his domination and retained his title. And that's the news for tonight.
Bill: Dude, we've got like ten minutes left.
*Randy just shrugs and walks off as the camera fades.*