Panic at the Bingo! Results from off the Interweb! (7/31/08)
Aug 30, 2017 10:42:42 GMT -5
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Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Aug 30, 2017 10:42:42 GMT -5
Couldn't make it to the Akron Civic Center this week? Look no further for news from "Panic at the Disco!"
AKRON, OH- XHF:NM stars and several former XHF workers were on hand today for autographs and even some bingo-ing at one of Ohio's biggest bingo tournaments.
One of the highlights of the early part of the day was a verbal banter between the ever Drunk Randy Angel and the very displeased Kris Quake.
CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO OF KRIS QUAKE AND RANDY ANGEL FACING OFF!
*The camera starts rolling as Kris Quake is sitting at a table by himself begrudgingly signing autographs. He looks quite cranky when suddenly a chair being carried by Randy Angel comes into view. Randy sets the chair quite close to Kris and sits next to him at the table. Kris rolls his eyes and moves his chair over to get some more room. Randy then moves his chair closer to Quake again.*
Quake: Dude, you reek of booze and hooker.
Randy: Well, um, er, you um, you reek of…..I don't know.
Quake: You know, there are other tables.
Randy: Hey man, we're friends, what's the problem?
Quake: We are not friends.
Randy: Sure we are!
Quake: You said you hated me and you wanted me to die.
Randy: It was a joooooke, jeeeeez.
Quake: You wrote it on my apartment door.
Randy: ….Door joke.
Quake: And by "wrote," I mean "etched with a knife."
Randy: ….Door knife joke, happens all the time. Heck, you can't even prove it was me.
Quake: You wrote "This is from Randy M-Fing Angel, for proof here is my address, phone number, and social security number, also two photo IDs" underneath. And you taped your driver's license and passport to the door.
Randy: ….Ok, you got me, I pulled a full-proof of ID, knife, door joke on you. So, um, can I have my driver's license and passport back?
Quake: Will you go away if I give them to you?
Randy: Of course, I'm losing my buzz anyway.
Quake: Here.
*Quake hands Randy his IDs. Randy gets up and pockets them.*
Randy: Alright, I'll be back in a few with a couple of brewski's buddy.
Quake: I really don't wa-
*But Randy is already gone, Quake pounds his head on the table as another kid comes up for an autograph. The camera fades out.*
Even more exciting, some of the stars decided to partake in bingo themselves! Hardcore Harry had terrible luck, but so did everyone around him.
CLICK HERE TO WATCH HARRY MAKE THINGS HARDCORE!
*Harry is sitting at the table, title laid across and glaring at the other wrestlers. As he takes his big highlighter out and gets ready to play some bingo. Harry is staring at five cards, which makes his odds great.*
Bob Barker: I 52...
Harry: Yes... all five cards.
Mr. Slave: you a mothafockin cheata
Harry: Don't you have some slaving to take care of
Mr. Slave: I kick yo ass right here, right now if I wanted.
Harry: Oh really? Highlight this...
*Harry takes one of his bingo cards and paper cuts slave across the face. Then clotheslines him off his chair, while he's bleed and yelling in pain.*
Bob Barker: B...Big Nigg... B 21.
Harry: Get the fuck out of here.... OOOOH yes...
Shogun-Tron: B..I...N...G...O...
Lazor-Tron: Winner.
Harry: How is that possible? He only called twice...
Shogun-Tron: BINGO!!!!
Lazor-Tron: Bingo.
Harry: Bingo... NO!!!
Mr. Slave: BINGO!!!
Bob Barker: Stroke...
*Bob Barker falls over grabbing the potem and taking it with him, a long clash is heard.*
Harry: you didn't win... you wrote up your own card with bbbbb across the top of the card and only one number.
Bob Barker: AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH
Mr. Slave: Now dat be sum cheatin
Harry: No shit...
Heavymetal-Borg: Like how you cheated me?!?!
Harry: I won fairly...
*Heavymetal picks up his marker and sniffs it*
Heavymetal-Borg: Bullcrap...
*He whips the marker at harry, hitting him in the head and making a yellow stamp on his belt*
Bob Barker: 9...1...ARRRGGGHHHHHHH
Harry: You motherfucker...
Heavymetal-borg: WOOP!
*Harry starts pushing people out of his way to get to Heavymetal and knocking random seniors out of the way. Since Heavymetal is faster than said slowass Harry, he makes away clean. Harry slams his fist as he walks outside, he and his buddies are no where in sight.*
Harry: Damnit.... DAMNIT!!!!
*Barker is carted off and we have a new guest*
Announcer: Everyone... Mr. Conway Twitty
Conway Twitty: G... 9
Marty Jannetty: Bingo!
Harry: You son of a bitch...
Conway Twitty: You just won a pink slip
Marty Jannetty: DAMNIT!!!
*The scene fades out with Jannetty leaving with his head down, carrying his bags which just happened to be with him*
"Panic at the Bingo!" was a wild time! Tune in next week for more XHF:NM action!