.::REIGN Presents: Cruising for Gold::.
Oct 1, 2022 2:57:49 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Steve Awesome, and 4 more like this
Post by REIGN Board of Directors on Oct 1, 2022 2:57:49 GMT -5
Cruising for Gold
September 30th, 2022
Cruise Ship, At Sea
September 30th, 2022
Cruise Ship, At Sea
The sun is setting over the cruise ship where the REIGN show tonight is taking place. In the ringside area the camera picks up on Burt Tennor getting the crowd hyped up yelling and screaming while some of the fans cheer or do keg stands depending on their preferences. He seems to be playing off of the party atmosphere to keep things hyped up. Meanwhile, further down the deck a number of passengers are sunning themselves. One in particular is enjoying the rays, when a large shadow is cast over him. Raising his sun glasses, Zoran Sainovic looks up with a cold smile. Steve Awesome looks down at his former nemesis, at one time considering The Final Boss old, but now just seeing him as old business.
Steve Awesome: What the hell are you doing here?
Zoran Sainovic: I couldn't miss Rat's moment of glory, Steve.
Steve Awesome: Nice try. Everyone knows your wet dream of choice is being the one to take the title back.
Zoran Sainovic: Not at all. Frankly I zink it would be healthy if Rat became ze first ZREE time crown winner. With End of Days coming up.... Dylan, Diamond, Rat, and myself will all be looking for zat honour, and what kind of narrative does zat push? Ze suggestion zat you're just a sitting duck, waiting for one of us to beat you? Deplorable. No, it would be best for all of us, if Rat claims zat bragging right before ze tournament begins. All I want is a rematch, championships are immaterial.
Steve Awesome: As fun as beating you is, I've already done that TWICE. Change the record. Plus I'm a little too busy defending my crown. Take too many beatings in non-title matches, and you become a sitting duck.... well... you know.
Zoran Sainovic: .....Tell me Steve, when you decided on ze name Awesome Bastards, did you zink your contribution to ze moniker was ze Awesome part?
Steve Awesome: You really should pull out of EOD. That is a young man's game, and if Pepe fell short - what chance do you have?
Zoran Sainovic: Ha, wounded I'm sure. Good luck with ze Annihilator... I always zought you made a better tag wrestler. Just look at Fireside.
Steve Awesome: Good times. I'm more interested in the present, then OLD BUSINESS.
Zoran Sainovic: Well don't let me keep you, I'm sure we'll be seeing each other very soon.
Steve Awesome: Yes, with you in the crowd. Enjoy the show.
Zoran Sainovic: Break a leg.
Both men put their shades back on, which brings their starring contest to a fever pitch. For a few moments it feels like they'll kick off another of the blood baths that have made this XHF calendar year, but eventually Zoran leans back to continue his sunning, and Steve returns his focus to the evening's defense.It should be noted that despite how it was filmed, there were two dozen security guards standing at the ready in case this conversation did boil over. If they ever started up again, these two are likely to capsize the ship. Soon the camera returns to ringside.
Block: Hello everyone and welcome to Cruising for Gold! It's been a wild month of partying here on the ship that REIGN rent-
Fletcher: Woah woah woah, you weren't even here most of the time! You only wanted to show up when there was wrestling!
Block: Well, I have a busy schedule...
Fletcher: That's a load of crap. I has been wild here though as people have been getting their party on and tonight is a fever pitch!
Block: That's right, tonight we've got the first two of the new plates up for grabs, an inter-promotional battle between GUNS and CAR, the XHF Junior Heavyweight Championship AND the Awesome Bastards will be taking on each other for the X*Crown Championship!
Fletcher: Yes, those things too! Also we're on a boat drinking and watching violence!
Block: Uh, yeah. With that let's get to the action and turn things over to our ring announcer, Burt Tennor!
Burt Tennor: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the Clown plate! The only weapons allowed in this match will be PIES. Pies on the ring apron, pies on tables set up around the ring, and pies being held by the audience. Everywhere pies and all of them are available for use!
The opening of “Part Time God” begins to play through the cruise ship's PA system, the lights spiraling around the deck to a dark purple hue and the entrance curtain swinging open to Taekhiro Shimomura to step out. Sporting his white and green wrestling tights, a large jacket covered in white and green fur wrapped around his body, and attached to the jacket was a Wolf’s ‘severed head’. The Last Breathing Mercenary looked around to the crowd as they rained down the loud boos. The cocky grin on his face grows more as he just soaks in the negative reaction he receives.
“YOU’RE NOT A PART TIME GOD
YOU’RE NOT A PART TIME GOD
YOU TOOK A FULL TIME JOB
YOU DIDN’T EVEN WANT”
YOU’RE NOT A PART TIME GOD
YOU TOOK A FULL TIME JOB
YOU DIDN’T EVEN WANT”
Shimomura begins a very slow walk to the ring, continuing to soak in the crowd’s negative reaction - all the while looking as masterful as he could - as he finally makes his way down to the ringside area. Shimomura makes his way up the steel steps, walking along the apron before heading through the middle ropes.
Burt Tennor: Introducing first… wrestling out of Shibuya City, Japan and weighing in tonight at two hundred and nine pounds… he is “The Wolf”,... TAEEEEEKHIRROOOOOO SHIMOMURRRRRRAAAAAAA!!!!
His shit-eating grin as he spins around in the ring gives the fans more of a reason to boo as he makes his way up to the second rope and slips out of his ring jacket as it falls to the floor below. Shimomura stretches his arms out and allows the crowd to continue to boo for him, finding it to be his only motivation as he closes his eyes and tilts his head back.
Block: I don’t see Taekhiro as very motivated for this match.
Fletcher: I’m sure he is. He will want to stop Esmeralda from gaining the new set of plates so that she doesn’t have to defend the King of the World title.
Block: That would be pretty wise.
Fletcher: Duh. That’s why she’s going to collect them all.
Burt Tennor: And their opponent, hailing from Cologne, Germany…she is the current King of the World, Esmeralda von Krauss!
“Circus Apocalypse” by Vermillion Lies begins playing as Esmeralda von Krauss walks out from the back in a stunning, shimmering black dress. She has a night black foot long cigarette holder in her hand that she smokes an Egyptian cigarette with as she walks down the aisle as if she owned the place. The crowd boo, the crowd do catcalls, and the crowd call out insults. , Esmeralda carries on walking down to the ring by herself and steps into the ring. She unzips the back so that the dress can fall into a pool around her feet to reveal a black singlet. She steps out of the dress and kicks it backward into the corner, her eyes on Shimomura as she finishes her cigarette and flicks the butt toward him. The ref gets into the way to deflect the butt to the mat where he stomps it out, giving Esmeralda a dirty look.
Block: I think Esmeralda broke the rules already. That was not a pie.
Fletcher: To be fair, the bell hadn’t been sounded to start the match yet.
Block: That’s true but she should still respect the rules.
Fletcher: You know that at least half the time that Esmeralda makes up the rules as she goes.
Pie Match
Clown Plate
Esmeralda von Krauss vs Taekhiro Shimomura
Clown Plate
Esmeralda von Krauss vs Taekhiro Shimomura
As the bell rings to start the match, Esmeralda rushes into action. She crosses the ring in an instant and palm strikes Shimomura right in the gut to double him over. She then brings down an elbow to the back of his neck to send him face first to the mat. Shimomura reaches out for Esmeralda’s ankles, but she leaps into a standing moonsault that brings her heels down onto Shimomura’s shoulders to smash him back into the mat. Esmeralda walks over to the ring apron and picks up a pie. Looks like a cherry pie in a nice foil pan. She walks over as Shimomura gets to his feet and slams the pie into his face to the cheering from the crowd. Esmeralda blinks, looking around at the cheering crowd as Shimomura clears his face of cherry goo and crust.
Block: Esmeralda with delivering the first pie.
Fletcher: She’s been trying to give pie to Steve Awesome for a good long time now. I think she might have given up after their X*Crown match.
Shimomura walks over to the ring apron and grabs a pie as well. This one is a pecan in a sturdy pie plate. He turns and rushes at Esmeralda, who sweeps up with a kick to the rib cage that makes Shimomura drop the pie to the mat where it makes a mess as it lands upside down. Esmeralda grabs Shimomura by the shoulders and hits several knee lifts to the guts before whipping him into a corner and following with a leaping avalanche. She points to one of the security guards outside of the ring and yells.
Esmeralda von Krauss: Bring me pies, dahling!
The guard hands up a pie quicklike so Esmeralda slams into Shimomura’s face. It was Blueberry. She calls for another. Buttermilk. Another. Peach. Another. Kentucky Silk.Another. Tomato Pie. Another. Cheeseburger Cottage Pie. Esmeralda hops down from the corner, looking at her handiwork as Shimomura is buried in different, contrasting pies from sweet to savory. His face and chest is covered in food. He takes a few steps out of the corner and looks like he’s going to fall onto his face when he lurches into action. He grabs Esmeralda and throws her over the top rope so that she lands on several pies on the ring apron before falling to the concrete floor.
Block: Shimomura was playing possum!
Fletcher: How much damage could a pie in a foil pan do? Not much.
Taekhiro Shimomura rolls out of the ring and picks up from a table one of the pies planted by Esmeralda or one of her goons. A banana cream pie, but it’s in a cast iron skillet. Esmeralda gets her eyes cleared from the pie and is slammed full in the face with the creme pie hard enough that it just levels her to the floor.
Block: That was a hard hit!
Fletcher: I have never seen Esmeralda take a creme pie like that before.
Block: Have you seen Esmeralda take a creme pie before?
Fletcher: Well, no, but I have often imagined what it might be like to give her one like Steve Awesome refused to do.
Esmeralda rolls over to her hands and knees, a trickle of dark blood falling to the floor from where she was cut over the right eye from the impact. She starts to stand, but Shimomura slams the pan into the back of her knees and then the back of her head.
Block: Hey! I thought the pans were one use only!
Fletcher: There’s still a little pie in there.
Esmeralda gets back to her feet where she backs up to one of the tables covered in pies. Another solid hit from the cast iron pan stuns her. Shimomura drops the pan to place her onto the table. He then picks up the skillet and places it on her chest. Shimomura walks over to the ring apron, climbs up, and then drops a leg across Esmeralda’s throat, sending them both through the table so that both are covered in pies. .
Block: What a move!
Fletcher: Now both have taken creme pies.
Block: Just…stop it.
Fletcher: Just calling it like it is.
Shimomura pulls Esmeralda up and starts to whip her toward the corner, but Esmeralda reverses it and whips Shimomura into the ring steps to demolish them! Esmeralda walks over and rolls Shimomura into the ring, following. Shimomura meets her as she rises with a hard right hand. Esmeralda grins and returns the shot, leading to a heated exchange of punches and blocks until Esmeralda changes tactics. She plunges her fingertips into Shimomura’s body to seize the collar bone! This drops Shimomura to his knees in pain, blood pouring from the wound as Esmeralda wrenches the bone.
Block: Holy…she can’t do that! Can she?
Fletcher: You mean that she shouldn’t be doing that, but I don’t think it’s illegal.
Esmeralda releases Shimomura and goes to the ropes. On the rebound, Shimomura tries to strike her, but she ducks down and leaps up to hit a palm strike to the chin! Justice! Esmeralda goes for the cover.
One
Two
Three!
Burt Tennor: Winner of the match and NEW holder of the Clown plate…the King of the World…Esmeralda von Krauss!
EMTs run down to ringside to check on Shimomura and try to stop the bleeding from the collar area. Esmeralda grabs her plate and dress, heading to the back with a confident grin.
Burt Tennor: The following contest is a Splashdown match and will end when one person is thrown from the ring and into the pool below. The match is also for the Big Top plate.
The lights dim, blue and gold spotlights slowly circle around the darkened cruise deck. The soft ten second intro to “The Hard Sell” by Coheed and Cambria plays. The tron came to life when the lights dimmed and displayed "And now … REIGN presents … its MAIN ATTRACTION!" A foot shatters the screen as the heavy guitar riff rocks the boat. DT slowly walks into a blue spotlight on the stage with his head down hidden under a hoodie. It's black and has his custom interlocking DT logo with an Italian flag and mariners compass on it on the back. He stands in the spotlight and slowly looks up showing off his signature bowler hat and sunglasses under the hood.
"I'm paranoid and sick of this world's misconception of things I did. My language poured across this wrist in a metaphoric disaster.
My guess, I'm missing out the punch line, unless this hanging noose is fitted to be all mine..."
My guess, I'm missing out the punch line, unless this hanging noose is fitted to be all mine..."
He slowly pushes the hood back revealing a serious face as he lowers his sunglasses before pulling them off and placing them in his hoodie pocket as he gazes around the crowded deck filled with partying fans. The spotlights turn into one tracking light following him to the ring as he high fives the fans along the entryway.
Burt Tennor: Making his way to the ring, hailing from the emerald city of Seattle, Washington, standing at 6'4'' and weighing in at 260 pounds, he is the Master of the Dragon Sleeper … one half of the XHF Global Tag Team Champions … “The Main Attraction" ... DEATH TRAP!
"I stood by everything I loved, while you never understood me much. Cuz there's only ONE of ME and TOO MANY of YOU fighting over nothing. There's never enough cool for everyone, and before you know it? You're selling out to be in."
He unzips the hoodie, revealing his XHF Global Tag Team Championship title as he moves towards the suspended ring above the ship's pool and drops the hoodie to the floor as he reaches the plank leading to the suspended ring. He stops on the plank to look out at the crowd. He climbs to the apron and spins, hooking his arms over the top rope, which causes the ring to shake a little. A blue spotlight illuminates DT in the ring as the crowd erupts for the XHF Legend. The Xtremetron shows “Top of the Class, Cream of the Crop.” He points out to the crowd and amps them up before stepping through the middle rope and running to the opposite side, grasping the top rope as he steps onto the bottom rope and points out at the crowd again while the whole ring moves back and forth from his running. He steps to the center of the ring and removes his hat, tossing it to the timekeeper, before stretching on the ropes and cracking his neck and knuckles, waiting for the bell.
Block: Death Trap and Donzig have a lot of history going back to SWAT where it seems that Donzig tried to end Death Trap for good. I’m sure Death Trap wants some payback for that.
Fletcher: He should be focused on winning the match instead of getting his pound of flesh. Just a win will get under Donzig’s nerves more than extra punishment.
Block: That’s true, I reckon. Raw damage doesn’t bother Donzig. Harm to his Honor is different.
Fletcher: Right. Donzig has been spotted with…how do we say it? Enhancement talent?
Block: That would be about right. You didn’t use the J-word.
Fletcher: Jobber? Oh right. Donzig has been consorting with jobbers and beating some of them up to feel better. Enticing.
Burt Tennor: And his opponent, the madman…Donzig!
The light go down, and then come up an angry red. Flames explode from the either side of the ramp, jets and bursts of flame erupting into the air. Donzig walks from the back, wearing his skull mask with his hood up. He pauses, glaring out across the crowd before he shakes his head before walking down the ramp slowly. He circles around the suspended ring- so I guess he's really just walking around the pool- still watching the crowd before pausing to watch the announce team before he crosses the plank to the ring. He stops at the ropes, reaching up to shove his hood back before stepping through the ropes. Then he takes off the mask, and shakes his head at the fans with a scowl before he leans back in his corner. Arms resting on the ropes while waiting for the match to start.
Block: Both competitors had to cross a plank to get from the outside of the pool into the ring. That plank is now being removed and the ring raised up into the air.
Fletcher: These guys better hope that if they fall that they can swim. Or don’t fall head first into the shallow side.
Block: Oh my. I hadn’t even thought of that! Someone could fall head first into the three foot section? Someone could die!
Fletcher: I think Donzig plans on sending Death Trap out that way.
Splashdown Match
Big Top Plate
Death Trap vs Donzig
Big Top Plate
Death Trap vs Donzig
Before the bell sounds to begin the match, Burt Tennor quickly gets out of the ring so that they can pull the plank used to cross the pool to get into the ring. The cranes operate to lift the ring up fifteen feet into the air. Donzig and Death Trap hold onto the ring ropes to keep themselves steady as the ring is being raised up into the air.
Block: It should be noted that there is no referee in the ring with them.
Fletcher: Ain’t that because there’s going to be no pinfalls, no submissions, and no rules?
Block: Yes, exactly.
Fletcher: I think the guys in the ring know exactly what’s about to go down.
Death Trap and Donzig get to the center of the ring as the bell sounds to start the match.
Donzig: I will finish what I started in SWAT and put you away for good.
Death Trap raises an eyebrow and motions to the pool far below.
Death Trap: Even if you win, you won’t, all I’ll do is get a little wet.
Donzig: That’s where you are wrong. Behold!
At poolside, Sinclair Godfrey is walking up to the pool with Mormo and Moloch at either side of her. What do they carry? Each of the Oblivion Death Squad carry two rather large bags of water that look to be filled with mutant piranha. Donzig keeps his eyes on Death Trap while holding out a restraining hand to Sinclair.
Death Trap: Don’t do this. You could be the one who falls into the water and is eaten alive. What would your fans think? What would Sinclair think?
Donzig seems to think for a moment before he signals to Sinclair, who shouts at the ODS, who drops the bags into the pool water. The fish quickly escape the bags and begin swimming all around the pool in search of food. The three quickly leave the pool side before they are targeted by jumping fish.
Block: The heck? They released man eating fish into the pool? That can’t be legal!
Fletcher: I think you’ll find that it is, in fact, legal. No rules, remember?
Block: Right. No referee. Someone’s going to become lunch then.
Fletcher: That’s embracing the reality of things.
Donzig gives a sneer, his right eye twitching with insanity raw on his face.
Donzig: This is the last time that anyone will see you, unless they cut open the bellies of over a hundred fish.
Donzig rushes at Death Trap, but is thrown in an arm drag. Donzig rolls back to his feet and bounces off of the ropes on the opposite side. Donzig rebounds to the middle of the ring where he is met with a stiff kick to the gut. Death Trap gets a side headlock on and brings Donzig down with a bulldog. Death Trap gets up to his feet and begins to pull Donzig up, who hits a low blow! Donzig gets Death Trap up into a fireman’s carry and does an airplane spin before dropping Death Trap back down to the mat. Death Trap gets back to his feet, but is grabbed by Donzig and pulled over to the ropes where Donzig tries to push him over the ropes to the deadly waters below. Death Trap elbows his way out of the predicament and hits a snap suplex toward the center of the ring. Donzig tries to sit up, but Death Trap applies a rear naked choke.
Block: Death Trap trying to wear down while Donzig was just looking to throw Death Trap into the water. Technical skills might win the night.
Fletcher: Donzig occasionally has a technical move sprout from sheer madness. He can do it too.
Donzig manages to get turned just a little bit, which is enough for him to sink a few elbows into the midsection to weaken the hold. Donzig throws Death Trap to the ropes and follows fast to hit a lariat that runs Death Trap over the top rope. He manages to catch the middle rope and swings back into the ring to sweep Donzig over by catching him in the kneecaps. Death Trap watches as Donzig gets back up and roundhouse kicks him in the chest to drive him to the ropes. He follows and starts getting Donzig over the ropes, but you can tell he really doesn’t want to since he knows that the waters are deadly below. Donzig smiles and grabs Death Trap by the shoulders and crashed his head into Death Trap’s in a monstrous headbutt that smashes Death Trap’s nose into bloody pulp and staggers him back toward the middle of the ring as blood flows freely from his nose and tears from his eyes. Donzig goes for the Event Horizon, but Death Trap has enough sense about him to catch Donzig and hold on long enough to deliver a German suplex!
Block: How is Death Trap going to win this match if he doesn’t really want to kill Donzig?
Fletcher: He’s not. Those fish could just look scary for all we know to throw Death Trap off of his game.
Block: That would be devilishly brilliant! You think those fish are safe?
Fletcher: No. I think they’ll devour whomever that falls in there to the bone.
Death Trap jumps to his feet, catching the rising Donzig in the side of the head with a devastating question mark kick that opens up a gash next to Donzig’s left eye and sends him spinning back down to his knees. Death Trap follows this with a muay thai knee to the face that sends out a splatter of blood and spittle from the mouth while knocking him to the mat. Death Trap then applies a half crab, cinching in the pressure.
Death Trap: Submit so that I don’t have to kill you, Donzig! Please!
Donzig: You don’t have what it takes to kill me and win this match!
Death Trap breaks the hold and pulls Donzig up. He whips Donzig into the ropes, but hesitates on his high roundhouse kick so that Donzig falls inside the ring instead of going over the top rope. Death Trap goes for the Death Trap, but Donzig wriggles out of the hold and gets back to his feet. He seizes Death Trap by the sides of the head with a double claw move, his eyes wide with lord knows what emotions.
Donzig: You don’t have what it takes to kill me, but I have no such failings.
Donzig drags Death Trap over to the corner and sits him onto the top rope. He goes to the center of the ring, eyes the stunned Death Trap, and begins to run. He leaps through the air as if to spear Death Trap off of the top of the corner, but Death Trap grabs the ropes to steady himself and kicks with both legs to get them under Donzig’s jaw and knock him backwards to the center of the ring where DOnzig lands onto his back.
Death Trap hops down from the corner and drags Donzig up to his feet so that he can apply a sleeper hold.
Block: Death Trap again with the nonlethal attempt to win this match. Think it can work?
Fletcher: I don’t know if the match will be able to be ended on a submission. Isn’t like there’s a ref to get in there and call the match.
Block: That’s awful!
Fletcher: Oh yes. There will be blood.
Donzig falls to a seated position and Death Trap changes up the sleeper into a dragon sleeper with a knee to Donzig’s back. Donzig brings up his fingertips and strikes Death Trap right in the Adam’s Apple to get the sleeper hold broken. He stands up as Death Trap backs up and clutches at his throat. Donzig grabs at Death Trap, but is thrown into the ropes. Death Trap goes for the back drop on the rebound, but is caught in a face breaker knee smash that sends Death Trap bouncing to the mat. Donzig begins pacing the ring and wiping blood from his mouth and nose before getting a wild look in his eyes. He begins rolling Death Trap over with his feet, sending the Legend ever so close to the ropes. Once he’s under the bottom rope though, Death Trap reaches out with both arms and seizes the bottom rope so that he can’t be rolled anymore. Donzig kicks him in the ribcage a few times to try to break his grip on the bottom rope, but to no avail.
Block: Donzig’s going to do something crazy in three…two…
Fletcher: That really goes without saying, man. Like guessing that the sun will rise in the East.
Donzig rushes across the ring to bounce off of the ropes and makes his back back for a baseball slide drop kick! Death Trap rolls off of the ring before the drop kick connects and holds on for dear life by the ring skirt! Donzig slides right out of the ring and grabs hold of Death Trap so that he doesn’t fall into the pool. The crowd gasp in shock as Death Trap and Donzig dangle from the ring skirt over the pool where the mutant piranha have gathered to see that their prey might fall down to them soon enough.
Block: Oh my! They both could lose this match! Who would get the plate?
Fletcher: Does Death Trap have a next of kin on file?
Block: I have no idea since I don’t have access to those files.
Fletcher: Seems like an oversight to me.
Death Trap: Hang on, Donzig. I’ll try to get us back into the ring!
Painfully, slowly, Death Trap pulls himself up to the bottom rope. Donzig begins climbing as well, getting himself to Death Trap’s back and is within reach of the bottom rope. Yeah, that’s when he plants his feet against the side of the ring and pulls Death Trap backwards sharply to try to do a German suplex. Death Trap holds on to the side of the ring.
Death Trap: What the heck, man! You’ll kill us both!
Donzig headbutts the back of Death Trap’s head to stun him.
Donzig: So long as I win!
Almost as if slow motion, Donzig rips Death Trap from the side of the ring with a German suplex, sending both of them into the waters below where, surprisingly, the fish do not attack.
Block: Oh my god. I think Death Trap won.
Fletcher: No.
Block: Let’s see the replay.
Fletcher: Let’s.
Donzig and Death Trap get out of the pool and look to the big screen as the last few seconds of the match are replayed.
Block: Death Trap hit the water first! Donzig has won!
Fletcher: I wonder about the fish…
Block: I wonder too!
Fletcher: Death Trap looks livid as Donzig motions to the crowd where the front row of a section are revealed to have remote controls. The fish are drones? They would have never eaten anyone! What a twist!
Burt Tennor: Winner of the match and NEW holder of the Big Top plate…Donzig!
Death Trap leaves the ringside area, shaking his head in anger. Donzig celebrates his win as he is given the plate.
The camera pans away from the announcer’s table to a sports car that has been parked on the deck of the ship, just on the edge of the pool.
Block: Fans of CAR will recognize those wheels as The Dominicruiser!
Fletcher: I can’t believe they let that on the cruise. Anyone who has seen Granny’s brand of “sports entertainment” knows it’s just as likely to blow up the ship!
Block: ...When our board of directors first announced Cruising for Gold, they invited other federations to present showcase matches as part of the festivities. GUNS commissioner Zoran Sainovic took us up on the offer, but took it a step further, proposing an interpromotional match.
Fletcher: More like a war.
Block: At Night of Champions, CAR’s Dinosaur Bones captured the XHF Phoenix title from GUNS’ Dirty Byrd. Losing their singles title didn’t sit too well with GUNS, who look for revenge tonight against CAR – specifically the team known as Bad to the Bone racing.
Fletcher: It promises to be a very physical encounter.
Block: And with the stage set; let’s throw it over to Burt Tennor with the introductions!
The camera pans from the poolside Dominicruiser back up to the ring, where Tennor plays with cue cards.
Burt Tennor: Ladies and gentlemen, the following interpromotional showcase is a six-man tag, scheduled for one fall!
The playful cowbell of Issac Hayes pumps over the ship’s PA system, before turning into the light hearted “Soul Limbo” by Booker T and the MGs. The upbeat tune gets the crowd moving, so that even if they didn’t follow the XHF Network outside of REIGN, they realize that GUNS are CLEARLY the good guys in this scenario. The stars emerge from the audience. Los Authentico Wombat apologizes to his wife, leaving her in the middle of a couples salsa class. Unboxed Ken has taped a small wooden cube to his forehead, to help cope with his selectively crippling agoraphobia. Redmond Fury tries to politely move towards the ring, excusing himself from a few hundred female fans who obsess over his Adonis figure.
Burt Tennor: Representing our friends at GUNS, please give a warm REIGN welcome to...“Squared Tiger” Unboxed Keeeeeeeeeeeeeen...“The Man from LA” Los Authentico Wombaaaaaaaaaaaat...and... Mister GUNS himself...“The Buckeye Bruiser” REDMOND FUUUUUUUUUUURY!
Block: I am seeing a lot of GUNS wrestlers in the crowd, here to support their federation.
Fletcher: Yeah, I thought I saw Nelly Angel earlier-
Block: Well Nelly was one of the names in the lottery to decide which three men would represent GUNS.
Fletcher: Yeah, but WHICH SIDE IS HE ON?
Block: Clearly GUNS.
Soul Limbo soon gives way to the metal cover of Sim City's "Metropolis" for a decidedly menacing tone. The crowd look around, searching for the CAR stars. Suddenly the door of the Dominicruiser opens, and the Bad to the Bone crew emerge! Apparently they were there all along. The REIGN audience start to cheer these stars, when Lord Dominicus explains that he is THE DARK LORD OF THE XHF NETWORK and not to be trifled with. Big Bone seems uncomfortable with this declaration of pure evil. The cruise passengers don’t look entirely sold either, but then Dinosaur Bones attempts to eat a few – and the heels of the program are clearly revealed.
Burt Tennor: And their opponents – coming to us from CAR, it’s the Bad to the Bone racing team of...“Esqueleto de Gran Fiesta” Big Booooooooooone...“The Dread Lord” Dinosaur Booooooooooooones...and The Dark Lord himself...“The REAL” Lord Dominicussssssssssssssssssssssss!!
Block: I’m not seeing as many CAR faces in the crowd-
Fletcher: Since debuting, the Bad to the Bone crew have completely dominated that affiliate. Impressive for sure, but I doubt there is any love between the Bone crew and the other teams.
Block: So most of CAR could be cheering on the GUNS team as well? That’s cold.
Interpromotional Six Man Tag Match
GUNS vs. CAR
Redmond Fury, L.A. Wombat, and Unboxed Ken vs Lord Dominicus, Big Bone, and Dinosaur Bones
GUNS vs. CAR
Redmond Fury, L.A. Wombat, and Unboxed Ken vs Lord Dominicus, Big Bone, and Dinosaur Bones
Still sore at Fury over Birthday Bash, Lord Dominicus insists on starting things with The Buckeye Bruiser. Only when Redmond agrees, Dominicus is quick to assume a place on the apron. After some stalling, the teams take their respective corners with Unboxed Ken and Dinosaur Bones starting things.
DING DING DING
As bell rings, Bones runs back into the ropes to cheapshot Fury, with enough force to knock the big man off the apron. Fury looks ready to enter the ring for reprisal, but Unboxed Ken keeps him back. Dinosaur Bones seems pleased with itself, before Ken returns from his corner with some vicious tomahawk chops to the dracolich’s broken nose. Grabbing a tiny arm, Unboxed Ken starts to whip Bones into the corner, only for The Dread Lord to reverse it – then take Ken down with a tail swipe. Rather than follow-up, Bones instead swings his tail towards the corner – catching Fury on the temple, and again knocking the bodybuilder off the apron.
Fletcher: I’m picking up on some bad blood between those two.
Block: During last summer’s Cruiserfest, Bones hired Fury to be his personal trainer – and blames him for not making weight. Since then, Bones apparently spent months stalking Fury inside a bear for food, and the two headlined XHF’s Birthday Bash in a brutal steel cage match. The fact that Bones currently holds a championship belt that many feel belongs to Fury has brought their feud to a fever pitch.
Fletcher: Yeah, that explains it.
Big Bone tags Bones, coming in with a spinning heel kick on Ken. The boot connects with the wooden block – busting Squared Tiger wide open. The blood fires Ken up, who comes back with a big brain chop. Big Bone goes weak in the knees for a skeleton walk, before firing off a quick jab in response. The two hosses begin to unload on one another, exchanging rights after lefts. While this brawl is going around the ring, Fury remains on the concrete floor – still shaking off the tail shot. A shouldertackle shoves Ken into the CAR corner, where Dominicus tags himself in. A stiff chop wakes Ken up. Realizing the size difference, and that Ken is between him and his corner, Dominicus backs off while talking up a pretty good game. In fact, LD considers Ken a waste of his time and wants Wombat in the ring!
Fletcher: The crowd chanting hard for Wombat.
Block: Well even if our REIGN faithful are only slightly familiar with the GUNS and CAR members, Wombat is a bonafide XHF Legend, destined for the Hall of Fame.
Fletcher: I’m surprised to see the two of them in there together, I always thought Lord Dominicus was just Wombat in a mask.
Block: Me too! But seeing them in there right now proves that rumor false. I can now say without a shadow of a doubt that Lord Dominicus is NOT Wombat.
Wombat enters with a slingshot elbow that takes LD off his feet. Wanting to maintain his status as the “tough guy” in the group, Dominicus quickly gets to his feet, complaining about a cheap shot. The minute he gets up, he eats a spinning elbow. Dominicus does his best to no sell a flurry of atomic elbows, his ability to put on a brave face expertly aided by the mask. Building up steam, Wombat starts winding up for a roaring elbow – only to be doubled over by a big knee to the gut. Grabbing a fistful of Wombat’s hair, LD drags him into the corner, tagging Big Bone back in. Big Bone comes in with a bicycle kick, then puts the boots to Wombat. Lifting L.A. up, Bone fires the smaller star into the corner, only for Wombat to hook the arm and pull him into a Windblown Ember wristlock. Before Wombat can snap Big Bone’s wrist, Dinosaur Bones breaks it up with a T-Rex sized stomp.
Block: Fury finally getting back up on the apron, I think that tail to the head took a lot out of him.
Fletcher: Seeing Fury injured out on the floor, I was sure we were going to see Nelly Angel come out to sub for the GUNS team, only to turn on them, and join CAR.
Block: That’s preposterous.
Following through the momentum, Bones charges into the ropes – knocking Fury off the apron for a third time. The Buckeye Bruiser hits the deck hard. Referee Tommy Thompson starts to give Dinosaur Bones a five count to get out of the ring, with the dracolich complying. Rubbing his wrist in pain, Big Bone tags out to Lord Dominicus, who enters with a flying leg lariat that nearly takes Wombat’s head off. Putting a boot to L.A.’s throat, LD shoves him into the corner, then grabbing the top rope for elevation, hits a series of diving knee drops. Having stomped the life out of Wombat, LD slides his foot up, stomping on L.A.’s throat, and grinding away while using the top rope for leverage. Seeing this, Tommy Thompson gives another five count, with LD breaking on 1. Pulling Wombat back up, Dominicus whips him into the corner hard, and follows him in with a handspring elbow – only to be caught in mid-jump by Wombat who takes him over with a belly-to-back suplex. Unboxed Ken tags in, nailing Lord Dominicus with a leg drop, then picking him up for a Squared Tiger Bomb!
1...
2...kickout!
Block: Our first pin attempt of the match.
Fletcher: They’ve only just started, and it’s going to take a lot more than that from GUNS to put these CAR athletes down.
Unboxed Ken calls for the Squared Tiger Driver, only for Lord Dominicus to recover with a patented DICK PUNCH. Ken instinctively reaches down to hold his groin in pain, but before he can get a chance – LD hooks the arm, and pulls Unboxed over with a kneeling armdrag that is rough enough to be an ipponzei. The head drop doesn’t do the bloody forehead any favours. Transitioning from armdrag to armbar, LD drags Ken across the canvas and tags in Big Bone. Big Bone enters with a kneedrop to Ken’s arm. Lifting Ken up, Bone then hits a series of standing shoulderbreakers. Lord Dominicus barks orders which he is claiming are only suggestions from the apron, which basically amount to working over the arm. Eventually Ken pulls free from an armbar – only to defend himself with another brain chop. It’s very effective, but Ken immediately withdraws his arm – having hurt himself more. Favoring his right arm, Ken tries to go for a Squared Tiger kick – only for Big Bone to pull him into la magistral.
1...
2... foot in the ropes.
Dinosaur Bones tag in, stomping away at Ken’s arm. Unboxed Ken tries to roll away, but DB’s weight pins him to the canvas. Finally active, Redmond Fury enters the ring and lays in a forearm smash to the back of the neck, which moves the dracolich off of the bloody shut-in. Fury starts to return to his corner, and Ken is free to roll away, but the move pisses the undead dinosaur off to no end. Before Fury can exit, Bones is on him with a cheapshot of his own. The crowd POP hard as current and former Phoenix begin to throw STIFF shots at each other. As dinosaur skeleton and muscle man roll around the canvas trading blows that would look more at home on GUNS Fight Club, their respective partners enter the fray. Big Bone starts to kick away at Fury, trying to get him off of Bones, but Unboxed Ken knocks BB off with an ear BOX. A Fury chant goes up across the ship, as Redmond uses his over developed pectoral muscles to thrash Bones with PEC POP after PEC POP!
Block: Pier six brawl!
Fletcher: About time, I was wondering how long before the bad blood would spill over!
Block: Tommy Thompson has his hands full trying to pull apart the teams, and in the middle of the ring Redmond Fury just laying in his pectoral punches on Bones!
When Thompson is finally able to get control of the situation, Unboxed Ken tags out – making Wombat the legal man against Dinosaur Bones. Wombat frustrates the beast with a series of dropkicks, shoots in for his wristlock obsession only to find the tiny T-Rex arms exceedingly difficult to pull it off with. After another dropkick, Wombat tags Unboxed Ken who hits Dinosaur Bones with a Box Buster.
1...
2... tail in the ropes!
Ken then tags Wombat back in. Wombat enters with a springboard legdrop, and with the larger Bones now on the canvas, locks on a Green Hell Wristlock on the tiny hand! Trapping Bones in the centre of the ring, Bones tries to eat his way out, but Wombat keeps him at bay with some well placed kicks. As Bones gets more aggressive in his feeding frenzy, Wombat maintains the wristlock but worms back towards his corner – tagging in Fury. The crowd erupt as Fury goes to town with some hellacious bicep smashes. Struggling back to his feet in between taking big shots, Dinosaur Bones fires back with some tail whips of his own. Fury goes for a running Bicep Smash, but Bones grasps the arm with tiny hands – and whips the big man into the corner – only for Fury to reverse it – but Bones is able to reverse this into a QUAKE on the first step. Big Bone tags in, hitting Fury with a Bonesaw that sends the wall of muscle falling out to the ship’s deck. Here Lord Dominicus uses a deck chair to get the height he needs to hit a Devil’s Invert. The Dread and Real Lord then slide Fury under the ropes, where Big Bone is waiting to hit a Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. BB stomps a hole in Fury, before tagging in Dominicus. LD enters with a slingshot elbow strike, before slapping Fury in a lion tamer.
Block: Bad to the Bone are an interesting crew. Big Bone was one of the early break out stars for Next Level, Dinosaur Bones championed the early days of Fireside, and Lord Dominicus was the only thing worth watching in Northern Pro – but it’s been a while since any of the three were actually in a wrestling ring. I’m surprised we aren’t seeing more ring rust.
Fletcher: The name of the game is tagging. Wombat and Ken might have a history, but it predates any of the federations you just mentioned. The Bone crew are in the garage every day working with each other, and that familiarity shows.
Dinosaur Bones tags in, and hits Fury with a Hyakuretsukyaku!!!
1…
2...
...big kickout!
Leaning down, Bones goes for a bite but even lying on his back, Fury has the presence of mind to defend with a bicep smash. Though in a guarded position, Fury is able to hammer up big forearm shots that keep the toothy dinosaur at bay. Frustrated, Bones tries another QUAKE stomp – but brings the foot right down on Fury’s face. A few more of these devastating stomps snuff out the fight in the popeye looking forearms. With Fury down, Bones slaps on the Surprising Technical Flourish. Tommy Thompson asks for the submission, but Fury muscles through, getting to the ropes. Bones lets go, then brings up a big skeletal leg to the midsection, kicking Fury through the ropes. On his way after Fury, Bones tags Big Bone. Leaping into the ropes, Big Bone followings Fury to the deck floor with an Asai Moonsault. Dinosaur Bones then hits Fury with a Samoan Drop onto the deck, before Big Bone tosses the Buckeye Brawler back into the ring. Big Bone applies a Cristo Invertido, but Unboxed Ken makes the save. As Tommy Thompson escorts Ken back to his corner, Dominicus encourages reapplying it, and offers a hand for extra leverage – but Big Bone takes this as a sign to make a tag, and does so. Lord Dominicus enters with a snapmare into Mongolian chop, then applies The Domini-lock.
Fletcher: How on earth did he get him up there?
Block: Lord Dominicus somehow circumventing the laws of physics to lift Redmond Fury up for The Domini-Lock. Tommy Thompson asking for the submission – NO, Wombat breaks the hold with a dropkick to Dominicus’ face!
Fury starts to crawl towards his corner, but Dominicus is faster to the CAR side – tagging Dinosaur Bones in. Bones catches Fury – jumping on the Buckeye Bruiser’s spine, a few feet from the GUNS corner. A Torn Asunder sends Fury crashing into the corner, the big man staggering out into a tail swipe to the head. Only the ropes are keeping Fury upright, and that’s when Bones charges in with what he thinks is a Space Flying Tiger Drop.
1...
2...
3...big kickout!
Block: How is Fury still hanging on?
Fletcher: He set the longest Phoenix title reign for a reason.
Irritated, Dinosaur Bones goes for another Torn Asunder bite suplex, only for Fury to catch him with a Buckeye Bomber into the ropes. The Dread Lord crumbles into a heap like Dry Bones from the Mushroom Kingdom. Both creatures start crawling to their perspective corners, Dinosaur Bones tagging in Big Bone, just as Fury brings in Unboxed Ken.
Block: Finally a fresh man in for GUNS, and the CAR faction trying to swam him, but Ken meeting each of them with a move I’m told is called the Raging Box Burst!
Fletcher: Of course it is.
The crowd start chanting "Mongo Bring Back The Six Man Titles!" As Bones and Dominicus are dropped, they roll back out, leaving only the legal Big Bone to take a Squared Tiger Driver.
1...
2... foot in the ropes.
As Ken is trying to lift him, Big Bone snaps off a knee lift to the skull. Big Bone then irish whips Ken towards the corner, only for Ken to put the breaks on, hang onto the hand, and pull Big Bone into a Box Cutter.
1...
2... shoulder up.
Wombat slingshots in with a legdrop, tagging himself in on Ken as he hits the move. L.A. then takes Big Bone over with a wristclutch suplex, but before Thompson can make the first count – Lord Dominicus has broken up the pin. As Dominicus exits to his side, Unboxed Ken charges over to the CAR corner, and knocks both LD and DB off the apron. With no BttB to make the save, Wombat brings Big Bone over with an L A Driver.
1...
2...
3...kickout!
Wombat then goes for a Wristacular, but back on the apron, Dominicus catches him with an enziguri. Wombat staggers into Big Bone, who nails Roll The Bones!
1...
2...
3...kickout.
Dominicus tags in, and goes for an armdrag – only for Wombat to reverse it into a wristlock. Frustrated, Dominicus kicks him off, then goes for a closeline, only for Wombat to again reverse it into a wristlock. Big chop breaks it, but Dominicus is clearly annoyed, and goes for a European uppercut – which is again turned into a wristlock. DDT? Wristlock. Hurricanrana? It looks really awkward, but eventually Wombat manages to turn it into a wristlock. Stomping mad, Dominicus kicks the ropes in anger. Dominithinks about it for a minute, then decides to hold his arms behind his back to avoid this ploy. A patented shining wizard inexplicable turns into a wristlock.
Block: That Wombat has the some of the best wristlocks in the business.
Fletcher: Even if he didn’t try so hard.
Lord Dominicus calls for The Darkness, but not wanting Wombat to mess it up with his unhealthy wristlock obsession, instead runs back to the corner and tags in Dinosaur Bones. He checks. The tag occurred without being countered. Pleased with himself, Lord Dominicus domini-sticks his tongue out. As the monstrous frame of Dinosaur Bones enters, Los Authentico Wombat yells something at the crowd to the delight of all.
Fletcher: I’m almost afraid to ask, but what is Venom time?
Block: That is when Wombat gets possessed by the evil spirit of GUNS founder Venom, transforming into a demonic entity. I don’t know what good Wombat’s wristlock tricks will do on Bones’ tiny arms, but Demonic Venom? He’d wipe the deck with Bones in seconds.
Fletcher: Well the audience seem to be responding to the tease.
Block: All but one... Wombat’s wife is at poolside putting her foot down.
Don’t you dare! Nuts. The crowd were really excited for the transformation too, but looking at his wife, Wombat can tell there is no way he can get away with tripping the occult on this cruise. When L.A. turns from Ms. Wombat back to Dinosaur Bones, he’s treated to a tail swipe that almost knocks his head off. The force sends Wombat into the air, over the top rope – where Unboxed Ken tries to catch his foot, touching it but not getting a firm hold. Tommy Thompson acknowledges this as a tag – which is a good thing, because Wombat ends up crashing through a poolside cabana – and looks dead on impact.
Fletcher: Home run!
Block: Wombat knocked a good thirty feet out of the ring, and is out of it!
Unboxed Ken charges at Bones, managing to avoid a BITE by holding onto the jaws, before turning it into a swinging neckbreaker. Bones tries to bite his way back up, but Ken keeps him grounded with a series of elbowdrops. Even keeping the largest competitor grounded, it still looks like a rodeo for Ken to avoid the razor teeth. Finally he settles on a spinning tailhold – which Bones doesn’t care for at all. As the two men roll around the ring, Big Bone gets a tag. Entering the ring, Bone has to leap over the two men who continue to roll around. While BB is distracted, Lord Dominicus throws a fistful of white powder in Unboxed Ken’s face. By the time Big Bone breaks the hold with a standing senton, Ken is already blinded. As Dinosaur Bones leaves the ring, Big Bone hits a moonsault.
1...
2...
3...kickout.
Fury is still in rough shape, but cheering Ken on. Big Bone kicks away at Ken, then picks him up for an inverted Gory special. Thompson again asks for the submission, but Ken waves him off – in the processes getting a hand on the ropes. Big Bone turns it into a backdrop driver – going for the pin, but Ken is already in the ropes. Bone starts to drag Ken away from them, but then, rather than attempting another cover – pulls him into a La Noria. Thompson again asks for the submission, but Ken manages to get a foot in the ropes. Lord Dominicus tags himself in, and goes for a dick punch only to be pulled into a Box Breaker!
Block: Dominicus down, and Unboxed Ken looking for the tag – only he’s still having vision problems, and is crawling towards the wrong corner!
Fletcher: He took a lot of that powder to the eyes.
Ken goes for the hot tag, only to eat a GIANT kick from Dinosaur Bones. The force sends Ken into Lord Dominicus who hits a dragon suplex, then slaps on an arm triangle choke. Fury starts to enter to break it, but the referee cuts him off. While the referee is distracted, Dinosaur Bones reaches under the ropes, grabbing Ken’s feet with his tiny arms, so that the choke applies more pressure. Thompson starts to ask for the submission, when he sees this – and kicks the dracolich’s hands away. Free to kick off, Ken slides back, pushing his weight back against the smaller Dominicus to force his shoulders down on the canvas.
1...
2...
Dominicus lets go of the choke to break the cover. He then goes for a butterfly suplex, only for Ken to counter with a high altitude backdrop! Both men hit the canvas hard. Stomping on the canvas, Fury yells just loud enough for the blinded Ken to hear over the ocean waves. Ken starts to crawl towards Fury, while Dominicus worms towards the Bone crew.
Block: Lord Dominicus tags in Dinosaur Bones, who charges towards Unboxed Ken trying to cut off the tag-
Fletcher: Too late!
The crowd explode as Ken makes the hot tag to Fury, who seems to have caught his second wind. By the time Bones reaches the corner, all he can eat is a Bicep Smash, which sends the dracolich stumbling into the ropes. Both LD and BB charge in, trying to maintain order. Double Pec Pop! Dinosaur Bones charges in again, only to be taken down with a GUN SHOW! Lord Dominicus tries to fire off a shining wizard, only Fury grabs his leg – dragging him into a DUST OFF! Swinging Dominicus like a club, The Buckeye Bruiser knocks Big Bone out. He then finishes the Dust Off, by planting Dominicus on top of him. Dinosaur Bones charges over again, only for Redmond Fury to get under a bit attack, and lift the big beast up for a Buckeye Breeze III – the airplane spin head drop almost causing the ring to buckle under Bones weight. Sadly, in the middle of spinning, Bones tail takes out Thompson.
Block: Redmond Fury is on FIRE, and has the Phoenix champion covered in the middle of the ring. Dinosaur Bones is out!
Fletcher: But so is Thompson.
Fury slams his hand on the canvas for the three count in frustration, then seeing Thompson, helps the unconscious referee over to a position that could theoretically make the three count.
Block: Wait who is that? Fans a masked man has just entered the ring. The mask is actually a relief because he probably isn’t a fan.
Fletcher: Whoever he is, he has Bones’ belt.
Under a mask that looks charbroiled, the mysterious figure brings the XHF Phoenix title down across Redmond Fury’s head. A second shot ensures that Fury is out cold. Rather ripped, the masked man manages to roll the dracolich onto Mister GUNS, at least one of the tiny arms. The Charbroiled Mask shakes Thompson awake, before sliding out of the ring.
1...
2...
3...
DING DING DING
The bell rings, which seems to wake Bones. The Charbroiled Mask disappears into the crowd before security can stop him, leaving the Phoenix title behind.
Burt Tennor: The winner of this match, Lord Dominicus, Big Bone, and Dinosaur Bones – the team of Bad to the Bone!!!
Block: Was that a new racer for CAR? He definitely cost GUNS the match.
Fletcher: The match, but I have a feeling the war is far from over between these two affiliates.
Not willing to acknowledge the ending, Dinosaur Bones bites into Redmond Fury’s neck, drawing heavy blood. Both Big Bone and Lord Dominicus try to deescalate the situation, but Bones continues to chomp down, thrashing Fury like a chew toy. A dozen GUNS wrestlers hit the ring from the crowd – along with The Wombats, Harsh Winter Pilgrim, ATV Bandit, Harrington Heart, Johnny Cobb and Yogi are prominently featured trying to force Bones to let go of Fury. Undeterred, the dracolich ignores rational arguments and chairshots, to clear the ring with his sweeping tail.
Zoran Sainovic: Hey Bad...
BttB’s focus turns from massacring GUNS openers to ringside, where The Final Boss is admiring the Dominicruiser.
Zoran Sainovic: What impressive wrestling. You should zink about spending more time in ze ring...
With that, The Final Boss leans into the front – parking break having been tampered with, the Dominicruiser rolls backwards – into the ship’s swimming pool. Lord Dominicus and Big Bone scramble to the vehicle. Maybe do up the windows to at least save the upholstery? This is going to suck. Dinosaur Bones has a different reaction, instead lifting Fury up into the air with one of his release bite suplexs. In this case using the TORN ASUNDER to throw Fury out of the ring, over the side of the ship. Man overboard. Fans scream, security flock to the side of the ship where Fury went over, and Lord Dominicus hopes the waterlogged GUNS star won’t divert attention away from saving the CAR.
Burt Tennor:The following match is a lucha libre rules match for the XHF JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Countouts are to 20 and it is best of three falls! Piledrivers and weapons are illegal! And removing an opponent’s mask is illegal! Entering first …
”Wish” by Nine Inch Nails hits the cruise ship’s speakers as null steps onto the stage. He walks down the ramp and looks at the pool as he passes it. He rolls into the ring and calmly walks to his corner
Burt Tennor:From the Rust Belt, weighing in at 185 pounds, representing REIGN … he is null!
Fletcher: Well here is our home boy. null has really impressed in his early matches here in REIGN earning this shot after his showings in Cruiserfest and against XHF Legend Death Trap.
Block:That’s right Chet, but I wonder how his style of finely honed basics will clash with the over the top high flying of his opponent here.
”The Wicked” by Stone Sour hits the arena speakers as the former Fenrir and Kazuko Shirai comes onto the entryway. He looks around at the crowd and lets out a roar as he hoists the XHF Junior Heavyweight Championship high. He charges to the ring and slides in pushing up to a standing base and beating his chest. He runs to the ropes and leans on them hoisting his title high.
Burt Tennor: And the opponent, he represents Sin City Championship Wrestling and the Harbingers, from Kitamoto, Saitama, Japan and weighing in at 192 pounds … he is the XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion … DIAGO ARAKAWA!
Block: Daigo, the Chaos Tiger, comes to us after a spectacular win over two fighters including then JHW champion Dar Price last month.
Fletcher: I gotta say, Vinny, his new attitude is what I love to see in the ring. Vicious and no nonsense.
Referee Sophia Vazquez raises the title belt high to the crowd then passes it off to the timekeeper. She asks each man if he is ready then calls for the bell.
Lucha Libre Rules
XHF Junior Heavyweight Championship
Daigo Arakawa (c) vs null
XHF Junior Heavyweight Championship
Daigo Arakawa (c) vs null
ROUND 1
DING DING DING!
null makes a cautious approach as the Chaos Tiger glares at him. With a burst of speed out of the corner, Arakawa is on is foe and unleashing a torrent of kicks to the thighs. As the volleys come hard and fast, null retreats out of range and then closes the gap again to grab the collar and elbow. Daigo flips the arm over his head and ducks behind into a rear waistlock. The German Suplex is blocked by a leg hooking his own and then null ducks behind and locks in a hammer lock. The champ drops to his knees and flips null over his head and to the mat and locks in a deep chinlock. Using his ring awareness, null reaches his feet to the ropes and Sophia Vazquez reaches in and manually breaks the hold. Arakawa just looks at her and scowls holding up 5 fingers implying he has a count.
Fletcher: We see that aggression from Daigo on display here as he verbally spars with our spiciest referee.
Block: Sophia won’t take any crap, it’s why she was assigned to this important title match.
Using the distraction to get to his feet, null boots the champ in the gut and hits a stiff European uppercut. Arakawa stumbles and is floored by a crisp clothesline from the challenger. The masked man wastes no movement as he hauls the champ to his feet and sends a volley of forearm shivers to the head and neck. Daigo finds himself being whipped to the ropes. On the return, null ducks for a back body drop but Chaos Tiger rolls on his back and lands behind. He comes off the far ropes and null drops to the mat as Daigo leapfrogs his body. He leaps to the middle rope and springboards back with a flying crossbody block that null just manages to dodge roll away from. Hitting the mat, Daigo pops right back up and charges in with a leaping snap mare. As null falls to a seated position, he arches his back from a stiff penalty kick to the spine.
Fletcher: Yow, I felt that…
Block:Daigo is not playing around. null wants to use his best tactics but Arakawa is not letting him get locked in.
Rolling onto his stomach, null pushes up to his feet and the two men begin to trade strikes in the middle of the ring, kicks and punches flying. Daigo plants a foot in the chest and leaps for an enzuigiri but null ducks it, and then the leg spins back the other way and null ducks again. null pulls the leg out from under the champ and drops an elbow on the left knee, wrenching back into a submission. Arakawa is quick to kick him in the head to break the hold. Both men roll to their feet and immediately grapple again. This time null uses his strength advantage to push the champ back before pulling him into a tight side headlock. He tightens the hold flexing. Daigo manages to shove his attacker and send him off the ropes. On the return null trucks him with a shoulder block. He then runs off the ropes and leaps over Arakawa as the Chaos Tiger rolls onto his stomach. On the next return, Daigo leapfrogs null who stops short and catches him in a full nelson.
Block: What a smart move by null. Using that aggression of Daigo’s to his advantage and using his fundamentals.
Fletcher: This isn’t an abridged anime, a full nelson isn’t going to win this.
After a few seconds of being jerked around, the Japanese superstar leaps up and rolls forward, wrapping his legs around the waist of null and rolling into a pinning predicament.
ONE!
null releases the hold and shoves Arakawa off of him.
The champ wastes little time, kipping up and catching null with a stiff right kick to the chest as he sits up. A second follows. A third then crashes in as the crowd begins to chant NO NO NO! Daigo then backs up to the ropes and rushes in with the basement dropkick to the face. He pins.
ONE!
TW-kickout!
The Chaos Tiger pulls null to his feet and hits a headscissors, sending him out to the floor through the middle and bottom ropes. As null rises to his feet, the SCCW star comes barreling at the ropes and leaps over them with a block buster to the floor. Skidding to a halt next to the pool, the champ roars and beats his chest. He slides into the ring and tells Sophia Vazquez to count. She begins her twenty count as he sits in the center of the ring and laughs. The REIGN superstar is down and out holding his neck. As Vazquez gets to a count of 8, the masked man stirs. He rolls to his hands and knees. At twelve he climbs up the ring steps. Arakawa is there to meet him with a gamengiri. Rocking on the apron, null grabs the top rope to stay vertical. Daigo climbs onto the bottom rope and hooks him for a suplex. null hooks his leg on the bottom rope. After two unsuccessful attempts, Arakawa begins slamming his fist into the ribs of his foe. But null takes advantage to hoist him into the air and drop him to the floor with a suplex of his own. Leaning on the top rope to recover, null watches as the ref begins another twenty count. At five, the champ is to his feet and charges. The challenger however takes a step forward along the apron to meet him with a stiff kick to the upper chest, rocking the sin city sensation. What follows is a spear off the apron to the floor for the challenger.
Fletcher: Work smarter not harder my boy. null has pulled out all the stops here and used Daigo’s own momentum to floor him.
Block: Yes REIGN has the best of the best, Chet. The champ is reeling!
null wastes no time dropping to the floor and scooping up his target and hitting a scoop slam on the floor followed by an elbow drop to the neck. He pulls the champ to his feet and sends him under the bottom rope and into the ring. null rolls in after him crawls into a pin.
ONE!
TWO!
Daigo uses his legs to hook null and roll him into a crucifix.
ONE!
TWO!
null rolls the pin and breaks it.
He rises to his feet and tries a knee to the head but Daigo catches it and rolls the leg into a dragon screw with impact on the mat. As null collapses to his hands and knees, Arakawa steps up onto his back and leaps up with a somersault senton flattening his foe. He points to his head and laughs as he grabs null by the face and slowly pulls him up. JAWBREAKER! null is able to counter and quickly snaps in the sleeper hold and pulls null down into the body scissors!
Fletcher: COUNTER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!
Block: Daigo has nowhere to go!
Sensing he needs to get free and choose his spots, Daigo taps out.
Burt Tennor: The winner of the first fall … null!
ROUND 2
Sophia Vazquez immediately breaks the hold and separates the men. After a brief moment to get them to their own corners and vertical, she calls for the next fall to begin.
Block: How does Daigo react to that fall, Chet?
Fletcher: My guess? Violence. We’ve seen how crazed his fellow harbingers have been in SCCW lately.
Daigo charges in immediately. null counters with a hip toss but Daigo lands in a crouch and spins and tackles the first fall victor. He mounts him and begins raining punches down on the masked face of null. As null turtles up, Daigo grabs the arm and slams it into the mat. Daigo rolls off his quarry and kicks him in the ribs before leaping over him onto the middle rope and crashing down with a splash. He pins.
ONE!
TWO!
Kickout by null.
Daigo pulls him to his feet and begins laying in hard kicks to the ribs and thighs. null reflexively reaches out to stop the assault and hits a dragon screw of his own. He stumbles back to the corner and waits. He leaps to the middle rope and comes off looking for a double axe handle. Arakawa surges and catches him under the arm and leaps backwards with a standing Spanish Fly using the momentum of the bounce of null’s feet off the mat from his leap!
Fletcher: WHAT A COUNTER!
Block: The Butterfly Soars Chet!
Chaos Tiger however doesn’t pin, he gives a throat slash taunt and rushes to the corner and leaps up top. He quickly takes to the sky with a frog splash that seems to echo around the cruise ship. He holds his gut and rolls onto null.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Block: Wow what a combination, null may not recover from that Butterfly Soars into Tramontane combo!
Burt Tennor: Your winner of the second fall, Daigo Arakawa!
Referee Sophia Vazquez checks on null to be sure he can continue and then assists him to his feet. null leans on the turnbuckle to catch his breath. The champ stands in his corner, seething, beckoning for the bell.
ROUND 3
As Vazquez raises her hand to call for the third fall, Daigo launches out of the corner like a rocket on the motion. He is on null before the bell even finishes its first ring and blasts him chest first into the turnbuckle with a shotgun dropkick. He catches him as he rebounds and hits an O’Connor roll and then a bridging German Suplex!
One!
Two!
Thre-NO! null somehow rocks the shoulder to break the hold.
Fletcher: What a brilliant strategy!
Block: Cheating? Attacking before the bell.
Fletcher: Hey! Call it accurately Vince. He connected AFTER the bell rang. He took advantage of his weakened opponent.
Block: Yes well null managed to stay alive, but for how long.
Chaos Tiger pounces on his prey with a front chancery and begins to rain knee strikes to the shoulders. He rolls null onto his back and leaps up with a leg drop across the throat. null immediately sits up holding his throat and gasping for air. Daigo grabs the arm and pulls null up and instantly crushes him with a short arm clothesline. He brushes his hair out of his face and smiles as he grabs both legs and folds null up in a pin.
ONE!
TWO!
THRE-Kickout!
Fletcher: Daigo did not like that.
Block: If there is one ref not to give any lip, it’s Sophia. She won’t take that.
Sure enough, as Arakawa jaws at the ref, she gives it right back to him and holds up two fingers then points at null to signify the champ should really focus. Arakawa grumbles and grabs his enemy. He pulls him into a standing headscissor and gives a the end taunt. He pulls null into the air and holds him. Sophia Vazquez immediately shouts at him and gets right next to him saying she will DQ him for a piledriver. Daigo chooses not to call this as a bluff and pulls him up into a powerbomb position. null sends weary slaps to the head of his captor. Daigo stumbles but then bounces him off the ropes and spins looking for the Liger Bomb, but null uses the momentum to go over his head and into a sunset flip!
ONE!
TWO!
Chaos Tiger grabs the ropes. Sophia Vazquez breaks the pin up.
Fletcher: That Liger Bomb would have ended it.
Block: That reversal almost ended it as well. But null has to claw his way back soon if he wants to win this.
As the pin is broken, Daigo slams his hand on the mat and rolls to his hands and knees. null is slow to get to a seated position. The champ leaps up and catches him with a neckbreaker! He then springs off the middle rope and hits a moonsault. The challenger rolls under the bottom rope. Daigo grabs him and rolls him out from the ropes and drops several knees to the face. He pulls him up and sets him up with the double underhook! Sensing the end, null somehow manages to find the wherewithal to pull out the legs of his opponent and jackknife pin.
ONE!
TWO!
Kickout.
Daigo rolls to his feet and catches null with a leaping spinning sol kick to the chest. Then an enzuigiri. null stumbles but catches the top rope to avoid falling. Sensing blood in the water, the shark that is the chaos tiger pounces with a flurry of kicks to the chest and gut. He then leaps to the middle rope and pulls null away with a flip and into a jujigatame! null quickly clasps his hands to prevent this. And after several attempts, Daigo begins using his leg to thump the throat of null but can’t get the submission in. He breaks the attempt and rolls to his feet. He charges for the knee trembler but null avoids it by lurching to a kneeling position. As Daigo spins around to face him, he catches the champ and hits the flowing DDT!
Fletcher: DIVIDE BY ZERO!!!
Block: But both men are down! null needs to capitalize on this turn of events!
Both men are indeed down. As Sophia gets to a seven count, null rolls an arm onto his opponent!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE-NO! Last second kickout by the champ!
The challenger sighs as he pushes to his hands and knees. He grabs the hair of the champ and slowly stands. As he pulls Daigo up, Daigo sends two quick punches to the gut then leaps up for a jawjacker but null manages to wrap him up in the small package!
One!
Two!
Kickout!
Daigo pulls himself up on the top rope and then bounces off the ropes for speed, but runs right into the sleeper hold! null begins to drag him to the middle of the ring then falls into the grapevine! The crowd goes wild. Daigo flails about but null has the hold in deep! Daigo arcs his back to put pressure on the shoulders.
ONE!
null rolls to the side.
Arakawa uses the momentum to get a base beneath him. He manages to break the body scissors. As both men are to their feet, the hold stays in. Arakawa begins to fade as he reaches every direction for the ropes.
Block: This could be it! He’s fading! REIGN is going to grab another global title!
Arakawa begins to go limp. Sophia raises his arm. It falls. She yells ONE! She raises his arm again. It falls. TWO! She raises it a third time. As it falls, Daigo opens his eyes and grabs the ref’s arm. She yells at him to release her and physically tries to remove the hand, and as she does, he kicks his leg back out of her view and hits the low blow, breaking the submission and sending null to a seated position. The champ releases the ref and stumbles forward to his hands and knees. Sophia looks around trying to ascertain what just happened.
Fletcher: Work … smarter … Vinny.
Block: What a cheap shot! That title should be null’s!
Daigo gets to his feet and turns around. null is holding his jewels but as he looks up he is met with a stiff buzzsaw kick to the side of the head and crumples in a heap. Daigo pulls him away from the ropes and then slowly climbs the top rope. He looks at the crowd and laughs. He leaps off for the Frog splash! And finds purchase! … ON KNEES!
Fletcher: HE GOT THE KNEES UP!
Null slowly rises to his feet and stalks the champ. He hooks him. Front facelock! He lifts him for the Divide by Zero! But the champ reflexively body scissors the challenger and hooks him into a guillotine choke! Null tries to fight it but loses his grip. He drops Daigo to the mat and Daigo immediately releases the hold and hooks the arms and absolutely flattens null with the swinging double underhook suplex!
Block: NO! That’s the Tip the Scales!
He rolls into a pin. ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING DING DING!
Burt Tennor: Your winner of this fall and hence the match, and STILL the XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion … DAIGO ARAKAWA!
Block: A good effort from null but Daigo's aggression ended up working to his favor.
Fletcher: Well I guess we won't be holding all the global titles.
Block: It has been one hell of a wrestling cruise so far Fletcher.
Fletcher: You know it. The drinks have stayed full and the girls have stayed hot all night. And it’s about to get even hotter.
Block: That’s right! It’s time for the main event. For the big one, The XHF X*Crown Championship is on the line. Steve Awesome defends against Rat Bastard. Do we see this thing go down the middle or will the Awesome Bastards implode here tonight?
Fletcher: Both men have been known to cut corners, they also aren’t exactly known as reliable tag team partners throughout their careers. I like that in a wrestler but will they turn their “crafty” ways onto each other?
Block: Well you know the ultimate prize is on the line. The X*Crown Championship. Rat Bastard is driven to become the first ever THREE time champion. The Face of the Franchise, after fourteen long years is finally on top again and he’s claimed time and again he will do whatever it takes to keep that title here tonight. The stakes could not be any higher.
Fletcher: My sources say these two men have not spoken to each other since they got on the cruise. I think each man knows exactly what’s at stake here and what they will do to get just that. One thing is absolutely for certain. A member of the Awesome Bastards is going to be the X*Crown Champion after this show goes off the air. And it's going to be a long awkward trip back to dry land for the other.
Burt Tennor: Welcome everyone on the REIGN Cruise to your MAAAAAAAAAAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING! It is scheduled for ONE FALL. And it is for the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEX*CROWN CHAMMMMMPIONSHIIIIP!!
The crowd pop for the belt.
Burt Tennor: INTRODUCING FIRST THE CHALLENGER! Weighing in at two hundred eighty five pounds, From FABULOUS, LAS VEGAS, NEVADA….
A complete blackout accompanies the opening lyrics of Drowning Pools "Tear Away."
"I'm tearing away
Pieces are falling,
I can't seem to make them stay
You run away
Faster and faster,
You can't seem to get away
Break"
Pieces are falling,
I can't seem to make them stay
You run away
Faster and faster,
You can't seem to get away
Break"
A bright flashing of white lights, and then red strobe lights accompany the music as Rat Bastard steps out into the entrance.
"Hope there's a reason
For questions unanswered
I just don't see everything
Yes, I'm inside you
Tell me how does it feel
To feel like this
Just like I do"
For questions unanswered
I just don't see everything
Yes, I'm inside you
Tell me how does it feel
To feel like this
Just like I do"
Rat begins to walk down the entrance way, giving fans as Ringside the spooky fingers and talking smack as he does.
"I don't care about anyone else but me
I don't care about anyone
I don't care about anyone else but me
I don't care about anyone"
I don't care about anyone
I don't care about anyone else but me
I don't care about anyone"
Rat climbs the ring steps, and steps into the squared circle. Looking out at the crowd he smirks, soaking in all the hate from the crowd.
Burt Tennor: THIS IS RAAAAAAAAATTT BAAAAAAAAAASTARD!!
The crowd boo the bastard as he mean mug and talks a little trash before stretching out in the corner.
Block: The first ever X*Crown Champion, Fletcher. Way back in the year 2003! Nineteen years ago this man won the first version of the X*Crown championship with only four former world titles in its vaults. And here he is attempting to win it for a third time, nineteen years later. That’s pretty impressive.
Fletcher: The fact that Rat Bastard has managed to stay relevant throughout all that time speaks for itself. Everyone knows that Rat can be a dangerous competitor and he looks ready to go judging by the look on his face.
Rat Bastard looked calm and ready as he glared into the stage, awaiting the champion.
Burt Tennor: and NOW INTRODUCING THE CHAMPION. Weighing in at two hundred thirty eight pounds! From DETROIT, MICHIGAN!!
All the lights on the ship die out and the fans in attendance start chanting his name.
Half The Crowd: AWE-SOME
Other Half: SUCKS!
Half The Crowd: AWE-SOME
Other Half: SUCKS!
Half The Crowd: AWE-SOME
Other Half: SUCKS!
Dramatic Pause.
"REGRETS I'VE HAD MINE!"
The lights on the ship explode to life as they flash green and black to the beat as Steve Awesome comes running out with intensity with the XCrown and in hand to the hyped up chorus of "Full of Regrets" by Danko Jones.
"Lonely nights/ and a whole lot of wasted time!
If you see her won't you tell her for me
It's better this way to avoid all the misery"
If you see her won't you tell her for me
It's better this way to avoid all the misery"
The chorus plays again as Steve walks down to the ring. The guitar starts soloing and Steve hops into the ring and he provocatively slips off his jacket and then spins and drops into a kneel, places the X*Crown Title over his shoulder and he flexes his arms. He gets a slow motion effect as pyro sprays behind him.
Burt Tennor: HE IS THE EEEEEEEX*CROWN CHAMPION, THE FACE OF THE FRAAAAAANCHISE, STEEEEEEEEEEEVE AAAWWWWWWEEESOMMMME!!
Block: This man was stabbed and left for dead over spring but that still hasn’t stopped him from his meteoric rise back to the top of the XHF. He plowed through End of Days, he lost the championship match at the very global event last year but he’s never looked back. But he went through everyone that stepped in the ring against him and fought his way to the top of the mountain. If this stays fair and within the rules I’m giving this one to the champion.
Fletcher: Steve Awesome has been on one hell of a run. He’s building an impressive amount of names on his hit list. But what goes up, must come down, Block. I think the champion has met his match tonight on the cruise.
Main Event Singles Match
X*Crown Championship
Steve Awesome (c) vs Rat Bastard
X*Crown Championship
Steve Awesome (c) vs Rat Bastard
Ding Ding Ding.
The bell rings and both Steve and Rat saunter out of there corners and they start sizing each other up. They circle around looking for an opening but they don’t take their eyes off the other. The sold out crowd on the cruise ship buzzed with excitement!
Block: And this match is underway! And both men take things really slowly and methodically. Taking a few moments to feel out the pace as this is the first time they’ve ever faced each other one on one. You gotta wonder what they are planning? What are they thinking? Could we witness the destruction of the Awesome Bastards here tonight?
Fletcher: Both these men are known for their mind games. Rat Bastard is a known pro and The champion Steve Awesome is a lot smarter than people give him credit for. These guys are known for being steps ahead of their opponents. And with the X*Crown Championship on the line it’s probably a matter of who can spring their trap first.
Steve and Rat continue to circle around a few more times as they look into the crowd. The crowd is just ready for it to start. They are on the edge of their seats. And finally Steve and Rat lock up and the crowd lose their minds. The two men wrestle for advantage of the lock up. Rat Bastard sends Steve running with an Irish whip. Rat drops down and Steve hops over and keeps running the ropes. Rat hits a leap frog on the running Steve. Steve keeps running and on the second rebound Rat stands in the middle of the ring and the champion scrambles to hit the breaks. Rat takes the moment to flick a toothpick into Steve’s face. The champ staggers back and wipes at his face as the crowd oohs and boos. Steve glares at Rat who just smirks and shrugs at his partner.
Block: A glimpse of the mind games from Rat Bastard.
Fletcher: He’s trying to get Steve all worked up. Nothing illegal about that.
Steve nods his head like “okay mofo” and he steps in and locks up with Rat again. The bigger man in Rat gains the upper hand again. He sends Steve running again.
Block: Rat with another Irish whip! Armdrag attempt here but the champion Steve Awesome lands on his feet. Lock up again. Rat Bastard swings with a lariat but Awesome ducks underneath. Rat comes in for another lock up but Steve Awesome side steps and flair struts into the ropes. He casually rebounds into the ropes and jumps forward with a big crotch chop.
The Steve Awesome fans in attendance cheer and Rat Bastard does not look amused. Both Steve and Rat get into each other’s faces and start jaw jacking.
Fletcher: And I think this thing has reached a boiling point. Steve Awesome and Rat Bastard are in each other’s faces. Are we about to see the implosion!?
Block: They lock up again, and Steve Awesome gets Rat into a hammer lock!
Fletcher: The word has been waiting to see how these two infamous super stars would handle each other in the ring. And here it is!
Block: Rat responds and counters into a hammer lock of his own!
Fletcher: There we’re just too many combustible elements. Too many egos at stake.
Block: Steve Awesome spins around and he locks Rat into a hammer lock! But Rat saw it coming and he spins back around into a hammer lock of his own!
Fletcher: The Awesome Bastards could never withstand the moment when gold came between them. It’s just not in their dna!
Block: Hammer lock! Hammer Lock! Hammer Lock! HAMMER LOCK!
Fletcher: Wait a second, what the hell is going on here!?
Suddenly Steve lets go of the hammer lock and when Rat spins around, Steve jabs a finger into his chest! And Rat goes down like a ton of bricks!
Block: What the hell was that!?
Fletcher: He poked him!?
Steve starts running back and forth between the ropes like six or seven times and then drops the weakest looking elbow drop you’ve ever seen. He practically sat on his butt and fell over slightly onto Rat's prone body. And Rat sells it like complete and utter death! Steve Awesome hooks the leg and makes the cover.
1…..
2…….
3!!!!!
Block: What in the HELL WAS THAT!?
Fletcher: A damn mockery is what it is.
Burt Tennor: Here is your winner…..*sigh*…..and STILL the XHF X*Crown Champion. STEVE AWESOME!
The crowd boo as Steve and Rat stand up and laugh at everyone in the crowd and then hug.
Block: So much for it going down the middle.
Fletcher: They tricked us all, Block. I don’t think anyone is happy about this.
Steve grabs a microphone.
Steve Awesome: You all thought it was inevitable that the Awesome Bastards would break up here tonight over the X*Crown Championship.
He laughs.
Steve Awesome: But you all thought wrong!
Steve hands over the microphone to Rat Bastard.
Rat Bastard: You see? I’m not a bad guy. I can be a team player. Once again those other Bang Bros got it all twisted. Besides, my paychecks are fatter with Steve as champ.
Steve walks up with a small brown sack.
Steve Awesome: That’s right! And you know I keep my homies dripping in gold! That’s why I went and got you the nCw Championship!”
Steve pulls the very belt and places it on Rat's shoulder as the crowd gasps.
Block: That’s the nCw World title! One of the last world championships from a dead company that hasn’t yet been entered into the Crown! It’s a big part of XHF history, Fletcher! It’s also where most of the XHF roster went when the company first closed its doors!
Fletcher: So Rat is now the final nCw Champion!? Did Steve give Rat a gift or did he just give Rat a golden ticket!?
Rat and Steve pose with their belts and crotch chop the booing fans when suddenly the chopping of a helicopter can be heard.
Block: What is that!?
Fletcher: It looks like a helicopter!?
Rat and Steve look up as a helicopter flies overhead. They both look at each other and point, asking “did you do this!?” And when they both shook their heads is when the Awesome Bastards started to look worried. Suddenly the helicopter door swings open and a rope comes tumbling down and hits the ring. AND JACK DIAMOND COMES SLIDING DOWN THE ROPE, STEEL CHAIR IN HAND, AS THE ENTIRE CRUISE SHIP COMES UNGLUED!
Block: ITS JACK DIAMOND! THE ICON IS HERE!
Fletcher: THE MAN JUST SHOWED UP ON A FREAKIN HELICOPTER!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?
Block: Jack Diamond is no fan of either of the Awesome Bastards! He’s here for revenge after what happened at the IPW Rumble!!
Rat and Steve are temporarily frozen in shock as Jack Diamond suddenly stands in the middle of the ring.
Jack Diamond: Come on you idiots!
Rat jumps into action first and Jack drops down and pulls the top rope and Rat tumbles down and out to the outside! Steve Awesome comes stomping in while Jack is yelling at Rat, but the Icon spins around and clunks Steve over the head with the steel chair!!
Block: The champion goes down!! Jack just hit Steve with that chair!
Fletcher: I don’t think he’s finished!
Jack Diamond starts to pull Steve up to his feet when suddenly the JAMROCKERS slide into the ring!
Block: What the hell! I didn’t know the JamRockers were on the cruise!? The hell are they doing here!?
Fletcher: They are Steve’s new running buddies! Jack better watch his back!
Jack stops when he senses the presence of Alastor Touchdown and Jimmi Cooldown! They throw a double superkick as Jack turns around! But the crafty vet manages to get the chair up as a shield! But the sheer velocity of the kick drops Jack Diamond to his ass and he smartly and instinctively rolls to the ramp. The JamRockers mock Jack and tell him how close he came to getting dropped as Rat helps a woozy Steve Awesome to his feet.
Block: Smart move by the Icon! There is a numbers game here that he isn’t going to overcome tonight!
Fletcher: He still ruined the Awesome Bastards moment and that won’t sit well with either one. And now you add the JamRockers to the mix! That’s bad news for Jack Diamond. He’s not going to be able to drop in from a freaking Helicopter when the arena has a roof on it.
The Alliance of The Awesome Bastards and the JamRockers pose in the ring. They all talk trash and dare Jack to come in the ring now that there are four of them. Jack almost does but thinks better of it and tells Steve Awesome that he will see him at End of Days!! Fade Out.