Battle of Britain Preview Donzig Outlaw Mudshow

[Donzig]

[Note: Not an RP, just fucking hype.]

The scene opens to what is clearly a studio, but the screens look mostly dead and cold. An occasional flicker of blurred images and static crackles across them, and behind the massive desk sits the gathered might of Donzig-gun. Gavin Drake seems bored as always, pouring himself a drink while at his side sits Luthor Carbrey who is going through a stack of papers. Sinclair Godfrey leans back in her own chair at his side, frowning at Drake.

On the other side of the table were the Death Squad who just seemed happy to be there.

And at the middle was Donzig, his mask sat beside him as he leaned back in the chair with his feet kicked up. And then he leaned forward, letting them drop as he waved his hands with a smirk.

Donzig: Welcome, to the Battle of Britain Preview! It is the same as the other one, but unlike that shitty one that Blood made? This one will get fucking views! You know why? Because I move the goddamned needle that is why.

Drake lifted his glass, taking a drink.

Donzig: My co-hosts. The Knives of the Scourge, the best kept secret in JROK, Luthor Carbrey.

Luthor: Glad to be here, and let me just --

Donzig waved a hand, cutting him off.

Donzig: Beside him, my old friend, the Empty Hand, the man who is responsible for one hundred percent of the Donzig-gun liquor allowance, Gavin Drake.

Drake: I must say Sinclair orders the good shit, top shelf shit only here.

Sinclair rolled her eyes, biting her lip as Donzig waved a hand at her.

Donzig: Of course, my partner needs no introduction. She is number one in the Battle of Britain, number one in W:UK, and number one in the hearts and minds of Donzig-gun. She also defeated the Usurper twice! The Lady Sinclair Godfrey, Ninth Baroness Godfrey, and the pride of Donzig-gun.

Sinclair: Thank you. And I don't order the best liquor so can you abuse yourse--

Donzig cut her off as Drake frowned.

Donzig: And last but not least, the Oblivion Death Squad! Mormo and Moloch!

Mormo: Është mirë që jam këtu, Donzig! Dhe më lejoni të them, jam i emocionuar për Betejën e Britanisë! Unë jam në bord për të! Shkojme!

Sinclair nodded at that, and Donzig glanced at him.

Donzig: Me too!

Moloch: Unë jam i ndezur! Jam gati të shoh legjendat e XHF brenda unazës W:UK! Dua të shoh se sa do të arrijnë Havok dhe Fowler!

Donzig frowned, and Sinclair shook her head at Moloch.

Donzig: What’s up first?

The screens crackled to life, and soon an image appeared.



Drake: This is it, the big one! The Battle of Britain, twenty men enter at 90 second intervals! Elimination by pinfall or submission only! And look at this stacked card!

Luthor: This is just Aztec Warfare.

Sinclair: Thank you!

Donzig was staring at the image, and his head tilted to one side and then the other. His eyes narrowed, and he grabbed for some papers. He flipped through them, scanning them before he slammed them against the table.

Donzig: How the fuck did someone get my enemies list? Fox? PRICE? Spike? Fucking Spike! The goddamned Rat Bastard! What was Dylan busy? This is an obscenity! Is that Dominicus in the back? Lord Dominicus! What the hell!

Donzig fumed, and tossed papers as Drake snorted a laugh. Carbrey leaned forward, and shrugged.

Luthor:Lots of subplots moving into this one! The bad blood between Miranda Esmay and Julianna DiMaria springs to mind! Miranda is furious that Julianna attacked A–

Sinclair looked up wildly, shaking her head as did Drake.

Luthor: –er, and Julianna knows Miranda cost her the match!

Drake nodded, and he leaned forward with his glass in hand.

Drake: Then we have the High Roller Wesley Crane, who has to be a huge favorite entering at number twenty.

Moloch: Vinçi është një kurvë! Ai merret më shumë me pidhin sesa me ndeshjet! Ai luan kumar kur duhet palos!

Donzig waved a hand.

Donzig: You have to know when to hold them, know when to fold them.

Sinclair: I think his game is more dice.

Donzig looked up with a hiss, head tilting.

Donzig:

We go out in the world and take our chances
Fate is just the weight of circumstances
That's the way that Lady Luck dances
Roll the bones
Roll the bones

Mormo: Po Teoria e Kaosit? Me të dy në ndeshje do të punojnë bashkë apo do të jetë çdo njeri për vete?

Sinclair: That is a good point, can they co-exist with gold on the line?

Drake: Lord Dominicus and Primal have not seen much action as of late, you think ring rust may come into play?

Luthor: My money is on the rookie Kalmin Watts. The man is a killer in training, he is young and hungry!

Donzig frowned, glancing back at the screen.

Donzig: This should be amusing at least.



Sinclair: The Tag Team Gauntlet. The winner of this match will advance to face the Bastards at New Years’ Brawl!

Donzig-gun groaned, all of them rolling their eyes. Donzig waved a hand, shaking his head as he leaned back in the chair.

Donzig: Those three are like herpes, they don’t go away.

That drew a snort of laughter from Drake.

Luthor: This match belongs to the ODS.

Sinclair: The boys got this!

Mormo: Ne do të vrapojmë dorën dhe do t'i shkatërrojmë Bastards një herë e përgjithmonë!

Moloch: Bastardët na ikën dhe nuk do të kenë më kaq fat!

Donzig tapped the screen, and his eyes narrowed as he frowned.

Donzig: LVZ. Jay Stevens. I want them broken, I want them to suffer at our hands! I want them to learn when Donzig-gun stares at you? It stares with twelve eyes!

His hand crashed down, and they all flinched. And Mormo slammed a hand against his chest, and he snarled something in reply.



Luthor: UZUMAKI vs. the Skulls of Grimm.

Drake: Kira is not happy that the Skulls cost him in the W:UK world heavyweight title in Australia!

Donzig stared at the screen, and turned to Sinclair with his hand gesturing at the screen.

Donzig: What anime is this? Empty Night! Japanese cops vs. English bikers.

Sinclair: KIra is going to stop at nothing to teach the Skulls a lesson!

Moloch: Jo me atë nofullën e tij prej xhami!

Donzig grunted, and shrugged as he turned to look at Moloch. A hand dragged across his mouth, then leaned back.

Donzig: I am not doing this Kira is an underdog shit. That glass jaw shit? I don’t buy it.

[To be Continued...]

[Visit Neom]

I love that Marty and Fox are looking at each other on the poster.

[Donzig]

The Director: I don’t know if you guys know this, but no one can understand the Death Squad.

Donzig: That sounds like you and the sound guy’s problem, my man.

The Director: You all know they are speaking some foreign language, right? Like Albanian?

The Death Squad stare at each other, and then shrug as Drake arches a brow. Carbrey tilts his head, and Sinclair stares at him with a faint frown. Donzig grunted sourly, and leaned back in the chair.

Donzig: Oh, yes. When we are all together like this I forgot, you people can’t understand them.

A hand waved dismissively, and the Director looked confused. Then Donzig turned to Sinclair, muttering.

Donzig: Seriously, who books this shit? This card is full of everyone I can’t stand! I want someone fired!

The Director sighed, and lifted a hand.

The Director: You know we have been back from commercial.

Donzig: Commercials? Are we peasants? I thought were doing product placement?

He pointed at Drake who sat with a bottle of Super Sake in his hand, and the Empty Hand shrugged as he poured himself some.

Drake: This is just from my personal stash.

Donzig sighed, and shook his head.


Donzig: PRICE again? What the fuck?

Sinclair: No, no, it’s Frank. Frank Windsor.

Donzig: Empty Night. I have not been this confused since Spike gained all that weight that one week.

The members of Donzig-gun looked at each other, and said nothing.

Then Carbrey spoke up.

Luthor: What day of their reign is it again?

Sinclair: 290 days.

Drake: That is also how many matches they had with the Dark Stars.

That drew some chuckles from the Death Squad, and Mormo hit the table as he laughed. Donzig tilted his head, and he lifted a hand to smooth his beard as he grunted.

Donzig: I will give credit where it is due the Bastards some how always manage to overcome whatever is in front of them, they have managed to outwit me a few times now.

Donzig scowled. Death Squad and Sinclair flinched back as he turned his eyes on them, and then he shrugged.

Sinclair: They got past you and Steve Awesome too.

Donzig: I remember when Steve was cool.

A hand waved, and Donzig tsked.

Drake: It’s weird Steve not being cool started around the same time the Jamrockers showed up and he won the X*crown.

Sinclair shook her head quickly, but Donzig’s hand slapped down on the table as he turned to glare at Drake. Drake just poured more Super Sake, and Carbrey shook his head as he coughed into his fist.

Donzig: I heard the Glucks had an interesting match beating a highly rated interpromotional tag team of trained fucking killers.

Luthor: Ow.

Drake: His foot was on the fucking ropes, mate! Are you taking the piss?

Donzig: Listen, I don’t know how they do things in the Foundation, or the Bang! Bros, or whatever else fucking shithole group is lurking around the XHF! But this is Donzig-gun, and we only count W’s and L’s!

Donzig’s fist slammed down, and he pointed a finger at Drake,

Donzig: I know this because I happen to be Donzig, and I run Donzig-gun! My fucking name is in it!

Drake: Bloody Hell! If your two brutes over there could get the bloody job done, we wouldn’t have to be here! Maybe you–

Moloch: A po divorcoheni?

The two paused, and Drake blinked as Donzig’s head tilted before his eyes narrowed on Sinclair.

Donzig: What have you been telling him again! We aren’t married, woman!

Sinclair: Me?

Donzig: Sorry, habit!

Donzig’s eyes turned back to Mormo, and he scowled. Drake waved a hand, leaning on the table as he pointed.

Drake: Listen, mate, we aren’t bloody married–

Mormo: Është viti 2022 që mund të jesh.

Drake: But we’re bloody not!

Donzig: If I was going to marry anyone in Donzig-gun it wouldn’t be Drake, let me assure you of that!

Sinclair: Aw.

Donzig: Would you stop!

Carbrey’s head was down, and his shoulders were shaking as his fist bounced against the table. Then they all sat back down, and Donzig glared at Drake.

Donzig: What is it with you and losing to hillbillies? Is it a British thing?

Sinclair quivered, biting her lower lip as she looked away.

Drake: Bloody hell.

Donzig: I mean first there was that shit with the inbred hillbillies in IPW, and now this crap. I need to know.

Carbrey looked up, shaking his head.

Luthor: The Brothers Gluck have a size advantage going in, that should get the Bastards on the back foot.

Sinclair: Daeriq Damien will no doubt be in their corner as well, a definite edge to the Glucks.

Drake: Hard to bet against the Bastards though.

He took a drink from his sake, and Donzig turned his chair as he arched a brow before he flicked his hand absently.

Donzig: So if I told you that Frank was a hillbilly from the hills of Yorkshire would he just beat your ass? Or does it have to be an American one?

Drake: You son of a bitch!

[Commercial.]

[Donzig]

Donzig: So there I am in the back, right? Now I have been stabbed like Clarence Boddicker, and electrocuted. And Steve is in the ring with these fucking Pandas all around him.

The rest of Donzig-gun stared at Donzig as he leaned back in his chair, feet kicked up on the desk as he waved a hand as he related the story.

Donzig: And I am like why is Steve doing all this? We know the bears are going over, the fucking bears always go over! And PETA is on the way, and so then El Rey walks in wearing a panda on his head like this is Tropic Thunde–

Sinclair cleared her throat, and turned her chair as she lowered her mug.

Sinclair: I think we’re back from commercial.

The members of Donzig-gun froze, and looked at each other very seriously before Donzig cleared his throat.

Drake: Where were we?

Mormo: Panda.

Donzig: Right? So the pandas..



Luthor: The Commonwealth Title on the line in this one! Ronnie Long vs. Eron Hunter!

Sinclair: Hunter is a dangerous man, I should know. He is the only undefeated competitor in W:UK!

Drake: But Ronnie Long has the Foundation, and he has made it clear that he will stop at nothing to claim what he thinks is his!

Donzig stared at the screen, turned back to the desk then looked back to the desk before he gave a shrug. Then he laughed before he turned the chair again, grunting as he leaned back.

Donzig: You know when I see them together like this? I think they should be following Goth.

Sinclair: What like some kind of gang?

Donzig: No, no, no.

A pause, and Donzig tapped his chin.

Donzig: A flock.

Luthor: Huh.

Moloch: Po unë? Po Moloku?



Donzig: Oh, look it is my match! Me and the three motherfuckers that Blood has sent to be slaughtered!

Drake: Armand Von Krauss.

Donzig: Die Hard.

Drake: Psychotic Goth.

Donzig: Dirty Harry.

Luthor: What?

Donzig: Welcome to the Jungle.

Sinclair: Is this some kind of code?

Drake stared at Donzig, then poured himself a drink.

Drake: Jakie Wentzel.

Donzig: Witness.

Sinclair: This match is going to be a war, there is alot of bad blood between these men!

Moloch: A menduat se do të ishim mirë?
Ende kam plagë në shpinë nga thika jote
Pra, mos mendoni se është në të kaluarën.

Donzig: That is the spirit. Why can’t you be more like Mormo!

Donzig slammed his fist down, pointing an angry finger at Drake. Drake sputtered, shaking his head before he took another drink. He shook his head in annoyance, while the Death Squad looked at each other.

Mormo: Ai është Moloch.

Donzig stared at him, and then glanced at Moloch before he shrugged.

Donzig: Shpesh-Wrong ka një zemër të thyer
Nuk mund t'i dallojë as djemtë e tij.




Sinclair: It is a poor rhyme.

Drake: Havok vs. Fowler for the big one, last man standing!

Luthor: My understanding is the loser is going to the back of the line! End of the line!

Donzig: Now Havok has his boys, but Fowler has the Bastards.

Sinclair: Time and time again, people have underestimated Eddie Havok to their peril. Do you think Fowler has learned his lesson?

Donzig laughed, shaking his head.

Donzig: As if the Bastards can learn things, Sinclair. Fowler is the worst of the lot, he makes Windsor seem like a bloody genius.

Drake and Sinclair blinked, staring at each other.

Drake: Donzig, you’re starting to talk like a brit.

Donzig stared, eyes narrowing.

Sinclair: You said ‘bloody’.

Donzig: No, I bloody didn’t.

The camera cut to black.

[Anthony Jordan]

Time has been purchased after Donzig's segment (Click here)