Post by mosler on Oct 12, 2022 23:50:19 GMT -5
From a recent CAR promo.........
Whoever dies... GUNS wins!
The Motel 6 currently operating as MOTHER RACING Headquarters.
Krabbe enters the gross apartment to find JUNIOR the Car circumventing the laws of physics to lounge around on the bed watching television.
Norman Krabbe:
So did you hit the rest of he hangouts on that list?
Junior the Car:
You know it.
Not trusting Junior, who has become increasingly less helpful with the prospect of rescuing the Industrial Woman, Krabbe makes a mental note to double check the rest of the list. The door opens with the Monster Truck Gravedigger somehow getting through the door.
Gravedigger:
Any luck?
Norman Krabbe:
Nothing. I swear, we're never going to get that USB back...
Gravedigger:
Don't lose hope, Norman - no child can stand in the way of reuniting you with your robot lover forever...
Finding the monster truck's exposition dumps distasteful, Junior starts raising the volume on the TV. Wouldn't you know it? With Zoran Sainovic tied up with End of Days, Magnus is pretending he's still in charge. He's even broken into his old office. What a cut up.
Magnus (TV):
So the XHF wants to know who will challenge for the Phoenix title at End of Days? What GUNS superstar am I going to feed to that horrible DINOSAUR BONES? We all saw how Zoran handled it - horribly. GUNS against CAR? Why should we tire ourselves out against that monster? NO! We can pick up the scraps. Take on the winner at our season premier! But for End of Days itself...
Norman Krabbe:
oh no.
Magnus (TV):
Why not let CAR take on CAR. Let Bones eat one of them. Will get OUR title back when he chokes on the hubcap! So I invite any CAR superstar that wants a shot at the Phoenix to come down to my office, and sign a contract for the shot-
The man and two vehicles share knowing looks before literally RACING for the door.
GUNS Headquarters.
The office of Zoran Sainovic.
A piece of tape has been placed under it with Magnus name written in sharpie.
The door swings open, and the Mother crew look horrified as Tinto The Orphan makes his mark on a piece of paper.
Gravedigger:
DON'T- oh.
Junior the Car:
Well this is unsavoury.
Norman Krabbe:
Now hang on one minute, Magnus, you can't draw up a legally binding document - he's a minor!
Magnus:
Not my problem if CAR literally employs ANYTHING. The kid wanted a shot- the kid gets it.
Tinto the Orphan:
Hello Mister Norman. I am going to get the Phoenix title to bring my sainted mother back from hell. Perhaps while I am in hell, I can bash the spider mastermind?
Norman Krabbe:
It doesn't work that way, buddy.
Tinto the Orphan:
Sure it does, I almost won the belt from the cheating bird, but he cheated, like a bird.
Junior the Car:
Forget it buddy, your only shot at taking my mom out is if we shot you out of a cannon. ........though you might make an interesting cannonball.
Norman Krabbe:
Ugh. We'll find a way out of this. ...Oh, Tinto... do you still have that USB?
Tinto the Orphan:
uh... what is a usb?
Magnus:
Ugh, I'm starting to think we should have thinned out a different CAR crew...
Norman Krabbe:
The piece of plastic for the computer you thought had games on it?
Tinto the Orphan:
Oh that! Yes? I put it somewhere.
Norman Krabbe:
Can you give it to me, Tinto?
Tinto the Orphan:
Sure Mister Norman. Just as soon as I finish training for the dinosaur.
The Mother crew almost faint.
Junior the Car:
So if you don't help the kid win, you can kiss the Industrial Woman goodbye!
Norman Krabbe:
...I don't know the first thing about wrestling. I don't suppose you can help me with this?
Junior the Car:
I'm in. This team only has room for one ghost.
Tinto the Orphan: 
Yay! That dinosaur won't know what hit him!
Gravedigger:
Doesn't this team race anymore?
The Mother team and Magnus all look at the camera knowingly.
END OF DAYS
OCTOBER 30TH, 2022
PHOENIX CHAMPIONSHIP
DINOSAUR BONES (c) vs. TINTO THE ORPHAN
Whoever dies... GUNS wins!