Post by Jonnie Valentine on Oct 15, 2022 4:50:46 GMT -5
("Sober" by Tool plays and a video montage plays of Hardkore World's 15 year history. Cyrus Williams hits Andrew Karnage with The Blackout...Tarrasque chokeslams Big Brute ACE off of a balcony to the floor below...Rad Rick pulls back on a scorpion deathlock on Dragon Kimura...Ace Kilcannon drops "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson on the back of his head with The Kill...Bronco Guerillo comes off on with a rana off the second turnbuckle on Rad Rick...Adrian Faust nails Death Gojira with a Helldriver...Fidel "Che" Gueverra throws powder in Bronco Guerillo's eyes...Rated X hits Ghandi the Butcher with The Unabomber, Kentaro Korose hits Kuala Hala with a facebreaker deathkick...Matthew X flaming thumper heart punches Quasimoto Jones..."Deathstryke" Cyan Komar hits San Diego Strangler with The Deathstryke...Sadiopath pins "Nightmare" Stormy Sommers with a sadioplex...Devon Stevens hits Bobby Nowa with a Zero Grav Leg Drop...Rally Jackson puts Adrian Faust through a press table with a cradle piledriver...Tosh Marley tiger drivers Matthew X...Ace Kilcannon comes off the rope with a springboard DDT on El Hombre Murcie'Lago...Reverand Gozo Shioda nails Ace Kilcannon with a crucifix ganso bomb...Death Gojira hits Sniff the Borax on "Lightning" Leon Jones...Tuxedo Mask executes a gorgeous corkscrew 450 splash on "Sweet" Richard Romero..."Sexy" Anjanette Turner bending Makoto Jupiter in half with a scorpion deathlock with a crossface...Kilroy Evans drops from off the top of a cage with a crowbar across the chest of Death Gojira on a burning car...Tamara Sanchez delivering a crisp helicopter rana on Xyrynth onto a chair...The Miracle Violence Combination II giving Tarrasque a Shotgun Suplex...Cobryn gives Robert Hunglestien III hits The Answer 2005...Lonewolf McNeely gets a running start and jumps into the Scent of Destruction diamond cutter but Big Bad Bill reverses it into a reverse DDT faceplant off the second rope then it fades into a graphic that reads "Hardkore America")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hello everyone, and this is the oft-mistaken intro segment of Hardkore America's latest show right here in the Key Arena in Seattle, Washington! I'm Guillermo O'Bannon and standing next to me is the three time Desert News Hawk winner Phil Blauer.
Phil Blauer: God, I love this place, Guillermo. The salt air, the vibrant albeit pretentious night life, the mediocre sports teams. It's nights like these that I'm glad we bought this place off the Russkies.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tonight, we have a main event, long in the making. Cobryn puts his title on the line against former stablemate, Andrew Karnage for the Hardkore America Heavyweight Title in a steel cage.
Phil Blauer: These two wrestled only one time, in Australia with Cobryn getting the win.
Guillermo O'Bannon: He'll be looking to even that score. Then we have a elimination match for what used to be one of the show stealing titles here in Hardkore World, and hopes to be again, The Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Title.
Phil Blauer: Seven men and Jeremiah Vastrix will wrestle until there is only one man left remaining...and he will be the West Coast Champion.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Right, sorta. Then we go up high in a ladder match for the Hardkore World Women's Championship. Xyrynth regained her title in a brutal falls count anywhere match in Palm Springs. The site where she won her last title. But will the Pacific Northwest be as good to her as the Coachella Valley?
Phil Blauer: Jury's out on that. I get lucky all the time in Palm Springs.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Yeah, but that's with guys. Ayame "Pheonix" Tokugawa is one of Hardkore World's most dangerous female wrestlers and can definately make Xyrynth's title reign a short one. Then it's a rematch I've been waiting for for quite a long time. In Denver, The Shootfighter and Big Bad Bill got into one of the best brawls the West Coast has ever seen. It was an I Quit match that never did, and neither man was declared the winner. Then in Palm Springs last month, The Shootfighter participated in a rouse to lift the West Coast title off of Bill by dressing like Lonewolf McNeely and switching with him somewhere along the match.
Phil Blauer: It didn't work, but somewhere I don't think The Shootfighter really cared.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Now round two of their battle and this time, both men say they're ready. Then we have the first ever King of All Monsters Match. A miniature version of Seattle will be constructed outside The Key Arena. Inside all of these buildings, will be little weapons for Death Gojira and Stan "The Tank" Wilson to use to try and kill one another.
Phil Blauer: To make sure everything worked, in rehearsal I destroyed Cleveland.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Who couldn't? Then it's enigmatic "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson taking on Cyrus Williams who hasn't been inside a ring since June 23rd 2004 in San Diego, California for the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Title Tournament. He shocked fans when he made his return to Hardkore Hall with a new attitude, and the same old belt.
Phil Blauer: Didn't shock me. He was booked to wrestle Moondog Dook that night.
Guillermo O'Bannon: (sighs) That was Cobryn.
Phil Blauer: What did I say?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then it's 7 foot Bruno, Your Canadian Hero, and The Extremist all locking up to see who is the number one contender to the Hardkore West Coast Championship.
Phil Blauer: R.C.?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, Phil. It's gotta be one of those three.
Phil Blauer: I'm sticking with R.C., that man's got initials. And initials are what matters today. Look at T.O., M.J., J.R.. If you ain't got letters, you ain't got shit.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then Lonewolf McNeely locks up with another international superstar Kilroy Evans. This will be the first match Kilroy has had since winning the Hardkore World Tag Team Title Tournament and Lonewolf McNeely's first match since losing the Taipei Death Match to Big Bad Bill, so both men have something to prove.
("Caught in a Mosh" by Anthrax plays and the audience boos. Blak Lung walks down to the ring, scowling at the audience)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung took quite a shelacking from Big Bad Bill when he was trying to meditate in front of those candles of his.
Phil Blauer: What's a Shelacking?
Guillermo O'Bannon: A level over a hiding and one below an asswhuppin. He has stated that Bill has a reciept coming, and with him wrestling Lung's partner The Shootfighter tonight, it's not hard to figure out when that's coming.
Yolanda Ando: Blak Lung wears army surpluss jungle boots, green BDU
pants, and a white tank top undershirt.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the Key Arena. Hardkore Jonnie Valentine & Hardkore America present tonight's event of wrestling excellence. Our first match of the evening is scheduled for one fall, with a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, from Accra in the Republic of Ghana ; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 190 pounds...BLAK LUNG!!!"
(The audience boos, and he menaces the audience with his trusty rusty wire hanger. Then The Key Arena falls abruptly dark. Overhead, on the tron, 3 symbols flash in and fade out slowly to the sound of a heartbeat:
<ALPHA>
<OMEGA>
<The Punisher skull>
(Over the sound system, “More Human Than Human” by White Zombie is heard starting to play. As the skull fades out, The Key Arena lights up again, and standing there is “The Punisher” Dan Stein, raising his Peacemaker in the air over his head to the crowd’s approval. His manager, Domino, stands in front of Stein, and leads him to the ring area)
Guillermo O'Bannon: He wrestled 10 men and won a barbed wire battle royal to advance to the second round of the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship Title Tournament at Palm Springs Punishment. He's won titles in HHA, IPW, CPW, ARW, & IWA: Nevada. Now he's looking to win some more here in Hardkore World.
(Stein gives Blak Lung an intense look, then deftly flips the Peacemaker halfway into his hand and gives Blak Lung a garish look while simulating a throat slash with the Peacemaker. Domino draws the admiration of fans by blowing kisses to the crowd and waving to the Seattle masses. Stein quickly flips the Peacemaker into his hand and spins the club, to demonstrate his deftness with it. Domino dutifully helps him remove his black trenchcoat)
Yolanda Ando: Dan Stein wears a simple tight black t-shirt, and plain black shorts, with black leather wrestling boots. Stein also wears black leather gloves with the fingers ripped out.
Phil Blauer: I'll give him that, that t-shirt is pretty tight.
Guillermo O'Bannon: You can count his chest hairs.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent is accompanied to the ring by his manager, Domino; Standing at 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 285 pounds...'THE PUNISHER' DAN STEIN!!!"
(The Seattle crowd cheers and starts chanting "PUN!! PUN!! PUN!! PUN!! PUN!!" Domino and Bill Kasal leave the ring, and Reid signals for the bell)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung pearl harbors Dan Stein and rolls him up into a cradle!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Dan Stein kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung double underhooks Stein's arms and drops him into a pedigree!!
(Blak Lung grabs Stein's leg and turns him over into a single leg boston crab. Lung plants his feet and pulls The Punisher's leg back towards his head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung grabs the other leg and turns it into a full boston. Ron Reid checks to see if Stein wants to make it an early night.
(Domino cries out encouragment and the audience starts their "PUN!! PUN!! PUN!! PUN!! PUN!!" chants until Stein pushes Lung out with his legs. The audience applauds and Stein small packages him with an oklahoma roll)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Blak Lung kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein gets his finger together and applies a full nelson. He uses those large arms to push Lung's head into his chest. Phil, where's your Billy Jack Haynes hat?
Phil Blauer: They wouldn't let me take it on the plane. Passengers were getting nervous I was hiding a rocket launcher underneath it. I do have "Oregon" written on my ass though.
(Stein drives Blak Lung's ass into the canvas with a full nelson bomb! He pulls Blak Lung up into a double underhook)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein butterfly suplexes Blak Lung! He scoops Lung up but Lung falls behind him into an inverted facelock. He drops the back of Stein's head on to his knee, then rams his elbow into Stein's exposed throat!
(Stein drops to the mat, and but Blak Lung pulls him back up and swings him around into a hangman's neckbreaker)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung sits on The Punisher's back and applies a camel clutch. He pulls back on Stein's head, rocking back & forth on his back.
(Ron Reid checks in but Stein continues to refuse to tap out. Blak Lung releases the camel clutch and climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein rolls out of the way of a senton leg drop off the top rope!! Stein irish whips Lung into the ropes and powerslams him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Blak Lung kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein scoops Lung up and fallaway slams him over the ropes to The Key Arena floor!!
(Audience cheers as Lung lands awkwardly on his ass on the concrete. Dan Stein rolls out of the ring and presses Blak Lung over his head. He drops Lung's throat on the guardrail)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein climbs up to the top turnbuckle...I'm a little unsure of the wisdom of going up that high.
Phil Blauer: Yeah, he's almost 300 pounds. It's like my Uncle Gino trying to get up there.
(Blak Lung gets up on the apron, and shakes the top rope, crotching Stein on the top turnbuckle! The audience boos, and Blak Lung climbs to the second rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung superplexes Dan Stein's back onto the apron!! Stein flopping around like a stunned fish, clutching the small of his back.
Phil Blauer: He looks like you having sex.
(Blak Lung rolls Stein back on to the apron, and Stein pulls his head into his legs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung piledrives Dan Stein off the apron on to the concrete!!
(Crowd boos, and Dan Stein bleeds from a gaping wound along his hairline. Blak Lung uses his time constructively and retrieves his rusty coat hanger. He wraps it around Stein's throat and ties it off at the end with a handle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung uses the coat hanger to swing Dan Stien's bloody face into the guard rail! He lifts Stein on to his shoulders in a fireman's carry, and gives him a death valley driver on the concrete!!
(Blak Lung rolls Stein into the ring, and places a chair over his face. He stands up on the apron and slingshots himself over the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein is able to avoid that slingshot arabian facebuster, and Lung lands on that chair! Stein drops the back of Lung's head on that chair with a russian leg sweep!
(Dan Stein lifts Blak Lung up into a hanging suplex, as The Key Arena lights up like day from flashbulbs until Stein drops him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Punisher hangs onto him and lifts him up for another suplex, this time dropping him with a jackhammer!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Blak Lung kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein stands over Lung and twists his head to the side with a variation of the old Demolition Smash submission.
Phil Blauer: Who would have thought a bloated mulleted version of the Road Warriors would have been better than the real ones. It's one of history's biggest upsets.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein working down Lung's neck, softening him up for his array of neckbreakers.
(Blood liberally runs down his face as Stein uses those powerful arms to crank Lung's head to the side one more time. Stein then goes for a northern lights suplex but Lung swings out on to his feet with a front facelock still applied)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung runs up the turnbuckles into a tornado DDT!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Dan Stein kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung takes that coat hanger and rakes it across Stein's eye! He then begins stabbing it into Stein's laceration, making it bleed more & more.
Phil Blauer: He's like Abdullah the Butcher on Atkin's.
(The audience boos and Blak Lung wraps the coat hanger around his fist, then fist drops the pointy end into Dan Stein's face. Stein responds with a stomach claw)
Guillermo O'Bannon: That abdominal claw making Lung bend over and Stein headbutts him. He is back to back with The Man from Ghana, and grabs his head and pulls him over onto his back into a neck stretch he calls The Final Solution.
Phil Blauer: Kinda creepy with a guy named Stein using the Final Solution.
(Ron Reid checking in to see if Blak Lung wants to submit, and he screams out refusals. Stein bounces him a little to increase the pain)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein turns it into a Twilight Hammer reverse neckbreaker! He pulls Lung up into a crotch tie, then pumphandles him up into The Reckoning!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
("More Human Than Human" by White Zombie plays and the audience cheers. Domino runs into the ring and helps a bloody Stein to his feet. He bleeds all over her outfit)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Like all opponents of Blak Lung, Stein left this ring very bloody but victorious.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 13 minutes 16 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...'THE PUNISHER' DAN STEIN!!"
(The Key Arena cheers wildly and chants "PUN!! PUN!! PUN!! PUN!! PUN!!" as Domino helps him out of the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein continuing his winning ways here on the West Coast. I'm sure he hopes they continue long enough for him to win the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament.
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Apr 13, 2005#2
Hardkore World becomes just that when Hardkore Northeast returns in Cleveland!
Chaos In Cleveland:
From the CSU Convocation Center in Cleveland, Ohio.
Hardkore Northeast Tri~State Championship Tourney:
Kilroy Evans vs. Kid Styles
Johnny Reavis Vs. ???? (RHIII has a special opponent lined up for Mr. Reavis, only Johnny wont know it until match time)
Adrian Tanner Jr Vs. Phoenix
Pagan Vs. The Rising Sun
Pedro “El Gallo” Santiago Vs. Trine
The Icon Vs. Reginald P. Packer
Also, Hardkore Northeast owner Robert Hunglestein III will have a special announcement, most likely involving the stripping, and firing of the Northeastern Champion Soutter…
Contact RH3 to join Hardkore Northeast!
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Apr 13, 2005#3
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up next we have a rematch between Lonewolf McNeely and Kilroy Evans. Their last match was for the UWA World Championship. A match many say, Lonewolf McNeely should have won.
Phil Blauer: Just Boone.
Guillermo O'Bannon: The year is 2003, and Lonewolf McNeely is named Christian Sebastian Kennedy. Kilroy Evans is the most dominating UWA World Champion in their short history. Lonewolf McNeely had Kilroy Evans in a sleeper hold, and Evans was out cold. The ref lifted Evans' arm twice, but before he could lift it a third time, Angel interfered and allowed Kilroy to roll him up for the quick pin.
Phil Blauer: Many people say Lonewolf was robbed that night. Tonight, he tries to get his money out from under Kilroy's mattress.
Guillermo O'Bannon: What are you talking about?
("In the Year of the Wolf" by Motorhead plays and The Key Arena boos. Rain leads Lonewolf McNeely down to the ring)
Phil Blauer: Rain must love it here in Seattle.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf still seemingly upset with Rain after Rain paid The Shootfighter to dress like him and pull a switch with Lonewolf so that he could win the Hardkore West Coast title. If it weren't for the eagle eyes of Mike Peters, he would be the new champ.
Phil Blauer: Peters not looking too comfortable there as Rain bores a hole through him with her eagle eyes.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I think they're closer to hazel.
Yolanda Ando: Lonewolf McNeely wears some silver leather shorts with fangs on the rear, black boots with a wolf on the sides and black fringer hanging off the sides.
Phil Blauer: I can't understand why The Shootfighter returned that $15,000 to Rain. He could buy a new CD. He'd be amazed at the music that's come out since The Mortal Kombat Soundtrack.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall and a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by his manager, Rain; from Montreal, Quebec, Canada; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 250 pounds...LONEWOLF MCNEELY!!!"
(The Key Arena boos and jeers McNeely, as Rain pushes & harrasses Mike Peters. Then "Black Betty" by Spiderbait plays and the audience leaps to their feet and cheers. Kilroy Evans walks out waving to the crowd with the Hardkore World Tag Team title belt strapped around his waist)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Miracle Violence Combination II was able to regain the Hardkore World Tag Team titles by defeating Kilroy Evans' hated rival, Death Gojira and Tuxedo Mask in a fire match at Hardkore Hall.
Phil Blauer: Terry Gordy and Dr.Death are looking up from above and smiling.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dr. Death isn't dead.
Phil Blauer: I wish you could hear yourself sometimes.
Guillermo O'Bannon: After this, Kilroy Evans is headed back to Cleveland, where he will take on Kid Styles in the first round of the Hardkore Northeast Tri-State Title Tournament.
Yolanda Ando: Kilroy's wearing a black Bloodhound Gang t-shirt, blue jeans, brown belt, and red, white, & blue wristbands.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent; From Attbury, South Carolina; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 253 pounds; He is One Half of the HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...KILROY EVANS!!!"
(Kilroy Evans stands on the second turnbuckle holding the Hardkore World Tag Team title belt high over his head. Lonewolf McNeely waistlocks Evans from behind)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf release german suplexes Evans from off of the second turnbuckle!!
(Mike Peters shoos Bill Kasal & Rain out of the ring and signals for the bell. Lonewolf cracks Kilroy upside the head with an elbow)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy stands up and is hit in the face with a spinning discus punch! Lonewolf pulls him up but Kilroy blocks a forearm smash and responds with a punch to McNeely's throat.
(McNeely backs away, holding his throat. Kilroy runs into the ropes and hits him with a leaping roundhouse kick)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans bites Lonewolf McNeely's forehead until blood gushes out of an old wound from that Taipiei Death Match in Palm Springs!
(Kilroy front facelocks Lonewolf but McNeely reverses it into a spinebuster! He irish whips Kilroy into the turnbuckles)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely follows him in to the corner with a spinning heel kick to Evans' head!
(With Evans still in the corner, Lonewolf raises one of Kilroy's arm and heart punches him. He then pops Kilroy in the face with a couple forearm smashes to the mouth)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A bloody Lonewolf McNeely backs up a little and rushes in with a rolling elbow to Kilroy's nose! Evans staggers out and Lonewolf climbs to the top rope. Kilroy turns around and Lonewolf comes off with a flying body press, but Evans catches him with a powerslam!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Lonewolf McNeely kicks out)
(Kilroy digs his fingers into Lonewolf's wound and blood gushes out everywhere. He allows McNeely to stand up, then a side kick pushes Lonewolf in to the corner)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy rushes in to the corner with a clothesline but McNeely's black fringed boot is waiting for him.
Phil Blauer: Speaking of fringed boots, what's up with Paul London? He looks like if the Village People had a spot for the Ultimate Warrior.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Speaking of London, McNeely hits a shooting star press that puts Gay Ultimate Warrior's to shame!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely irish whips Kilroy into the ropes and lifts him up by the throat and drops him with a Lo Down!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Evans is back on his feet but Lonewolf pops him with an open handed palm strike to the nose. He goes for another but Kilroy catches his arm & hangs on to it. Lonewolf tries it with a left hand, but Kilroy catches that one too. Kilroy then batters Lonewolf's bloody face over & over with headbutts!
(Kilroy Evans wipes away a trickle of blood coming from his nose, and sets Lonewolf up for a powerbomb. He lifts Lonewolf up onto his shoulder and then slams his head & shoulders into the mat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans applies a chicken wing crossface to Lonewolf McNeely. Being five inches shorter than McNeely allows him to not only wrench on the arm but pull him backwards as well.
Phil Blauer: And people say that short people should be put into work camps.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Who says that?
Phil Blauer: Me...and probably Shaq.
(Rain cries out words of encouragement as Mike Peters checks in to see if Lonewolf wants to submit. Evans pulls McNeely's wrist up towards his head & clamps down on Lonewolf's windpipe)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely takes his left arm and reaches underneath, grabbing Kilroy's leg and pulls it out from under him. Seems McNeely has picked some things up during his match with West Coast Champion Big Bad Bill.
(Kilroy Evans gets to his knees before McNeely whacks him upside the head with a shining wizard kick)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Flesh Cut! Blood's really coming out of that nose now, and Lonewolf McNeely applies a dragon sleeper. McNeely using those large arms to cut off all of the Attbury Assassin's air.
(Mike Peters in position, ready for Kilroy's submission. Rain walks up & down ringside, applauding. The audience boos. Lonewolf McNeely releases Kilroy and modifies it into a regular sleeper. A large smile crosses Lonewolf's face and Rain screams out "You got em! You got em now!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely trying to end this match the way he felt it should have ended when they wrestled for the UWA World Championship!
Phil Blauer: No Angel to save him now. Unless Rain is really Angel. But I'd figure she'd be rooting through Cobryn's locker and not out here.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mike Peters lifts Kilroy's arm and it drops! One more time, and it drops again.
(The Key Arena starts applauding, faster & faster, trying to wake Kilroy up. Peters lifts Kilroy's arm up but this time it stays up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: This match is not over yet, and Kilroy works his way back to his feet. He drops down to his knees to drive the top of his head through Lonewolf's chin!
(Kilroy Evans t-bone suplexes Lonewolf McNeely on to his head! He sets up McNeely for a piledriver)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans jumps up and piledrives Lonewolf right on his head! He fireman's carries Lonewolf on to his shoulders and then walks him over to the corner. He sits McNeely on the top turnbuckle. But McNeely swats him with a right hand, and inverted facelocks him. He flips forward into a Sands of Time!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely flips him over into an exploder '98!! McNeely climbs to the top rope, and drops a leg drop across Kilroy's face!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
(Lonewolf McNeely gets up and kicks the bottom rope in frustration as the fans get on his case. Rain tries to calm him down from the outside. McNeely wipes some blood out of his eyes and sets Kilroy up for a piledriver)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans blocks the piledriver and reverses it into an alabama slammer!!
(The Key Arena comes alive with cheers, and Kilroy Evans shakes the ropes to pump himself up. He pulls Lonewolf up and bearhugs him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans tries to squeeze the life out of McNeely for breaking his nose. Peters checks in to see if he submits, but Kilroy drops down into a spinebuster!
(Kilroy Evans pulls a bloody McNeely up and scoops him, but Lonewolf floats over and smacks him upside the head with a superkick! Rain hands Lonewolf McNeely a chair and he climbs to the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely comes off the top with that steel chair, smashing Kilroy with an atomic arabian facebuster!!
Phil Blauer: I thought he was Cherokee??
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely pulls Kilroy's head into his legs & double chicken wings both his arms. He pulls him up and Lights Out piledrives him on the steel chair!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely irish whips him into the ropes, dips down for a backdrop, but Kilroy catches him looking with a corkscrew neckbreaker!
(Audience cheers and Kilroy Evans climbs up to the top rope. He then tips over into an elbow drop across Lonewolf's face, smearing blood across his forearm)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Lonewolf McNeely kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans grabs Lonewolf by the legs and turns him over into a boston crab. Evans sits all 253 pounds on McNeely's back and pulls back on those legs.
(A small pool of blood forms underneath McNeely's face. Lonewolf crawls over to the ropes, as Rain waves him on)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf grabs hold of the ropes and Peters forces Kilroy to break it. Kilroy climbs up to the top turnbuckle, but Lonewolf shakes the ropes and Kilroy falls crotch first on the top turnbuckle! McNeely runs up and diamond cutters Kilroy off the top turnbuckle!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely pumphandles Kilroy Evans on to his shoulders and spins into a slam!!
(McNeely climbs up to the top rope, but Kilroy Evans gets up and runs over and punches Lonewolf in the stomach)
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely is keeled over by that punch from Kilroy, but he grabs Evans on the ground and drops down into a pedigree!!
(Audience boos and McNeely flips Kilroy over and pins him)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
("In the Year of the Wolf" by Motorhead plays through The Key Arena and the fa'ns boos get louder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely has erased a blemish from his record, and really smashed that nose in on Kilroy Evans.
Phil Blauer: I think he actually looks better.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 16 minutes 29 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...LONEWOLF MCNEELY!!!"
(Rain raises Lonewolf's arm, then looks disgusted as blood has gotten all over her top. The crowd boos)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely makes another big step in his rise to Hardkore World stardom!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up we have a testament to the level of action in the Hardkore Women's scene. Brandy and Tamara Sanchez team up to take on 3 time Hardkore World Women's Champion "Sexy" Anjanette Turner & newcomer Vagabond.
Phil Blauer: We know one thing about Vagabond. She works out.
("It's My Life" by No Doubt hits as a lone spotlight follows Brandy & Tamara Sanchez as they steps through the entrance and look at the crowd. Sanchez makes the Kilq sign as Brandy slowly walks down to the ring. Brandy enters the ring and stands in the middle with the same spotlight on her as she hangs her head back and basks in the spotlight on her)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandy recently lost a match to Ayame "Phoenix" Tokugawa in Palm Springs, but her record in regions like CWF Germany and UCW is impeccable. Sanchez, also had a bad night at Palm Springs Punishment. She lost her Hardkore World Women's Championship to longtime rival Xyrynth.
Phil Blauer: I'd hate to be on that ride home.
Yolanda Ando: Brandy has shoulder length brown hair in a ponytail. She wears a black spandex tights with "Brandy" across the rear and a white sport bra. Tamara Sanchez wears black hot pants with a red top with spaghetti sleeves. Her boots are red as well.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, from New York City; Standing 5 feet 6 inches tall; Weighing 120 pounds...TAMARA SANCHEZ!!! Her partner, standing 5 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing None of Your Damn Concern...BRANDY!!!"
(The Seattle crowd boos, and Sanchez flips them off. Then "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent plays and the fans cheer. Anjanette Turner and Vagabond walk out. Turner presents Vagabond, who giggles and then begins walking out to the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner lost a Cat Collar Steel Cage match to Horror Girl in Palm Springs. She looks to be recovered from her injuries from that match. Still, I definately wouldn't leave her in the ring too long if I were Vagabond.
Phil Blauer: If you were Vagabond, I'd be sweatin you like Will Smith on a paycheck.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez asai moonsault presses Vagabond & "Sexy" Anjanette Turner in the aisleway!!!
(Audience reacts with surprise and Ron Reid signals for the bell. Tamara pulls Vagabond up in a front facelock and cradles the leg)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy cradle DDTs Vagabond on The Key Arena floor!!
(Sanchez pulls Turner up by her french braid and rolls her into the ring, then climbs up on the apron. She slingshots herself onto the middle of the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez springboard bulldogs Turner's face into the mat! On the outside, Brandy Date {No Means No} piledrives Vagabond on the concrete!!
(The Seattle crowd boos, as Vagbond lies motionless on the floor. Inside the ring, Sanchez applies an STF to Anjanette Turner)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez pulls up on Sexy Anj's head as Ron Reid checks in to see if she wants to tap out already. Brandy enters the ring and runs into the ropes. Brandy baseball slide dropkicks Turner in her face while Sanchez holds her in the STF!
(Sanchez scoops Turner up for a tombstone, but Turner bridges out and turns it into her own tombstone. But Turner corkscrews it)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner irish whips Sanchez into the ropes and belly to belly neckbreakers him!
(Anjanette Turner pulls her up into a powerbomb but Sanchez flips her over into a huracanrana! The audience boos, and Sanchez tags in Brandy)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandy german suplexes Anjanette Turner!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Anjanette Turner rolls her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandy irish whips Turner into the turnbuckles. She follows her in and rams her knee in to her stomach. Brandy runs her out into the center of the ring with a bulldog!
(Brandy climbs up to the top turnbuckle from the inside of the ring. Brandy flips off with a moonsault, but Turner rolls out of the way! The Key Arena comes alive with cheers)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner lifts Brandy up in a suplex, but then drops her into a falcon arrow!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Brandy kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette pulls Brandy's head into her legs and lifted her up on her shoulder. She drops her into a powerbomb! She uses her hands & legs to lift her up for a second one!
(Turner drives Brandy's head & shoudlers into the mat a third time with another powerbomb! The crowd is cheering her on, but when Turner goes to tag in Vagabond, no one's there)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond is still unconcious on the cold Key Arena floor, from The Date {No Means No} on the floor from Brandy. So Turner's got no partner! She climbs up to the top rope, and comes off with a spinning huracanrana!!
(Brandy is dumped on her head, sits up, and then falls back down. The fans are wild about Turner's high flying move. Turner covers Brandy)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez stomps the back of Turner's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner inverted facelocks Brandy and climbs to the second turnbuckle. She comes off with an inverted tornado DDT!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Brandy kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Turner runs into the ropes, but Sanchez raises her knee into Anj's kidneys. Turner keels over and Brandy takes advantage with a DDT!
(The audience goes back to booing, and she butterflies Turner's arms. She double underhook suplexes Anj)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandy irish whips Turner into the ropes and smacks her upside the head with a savatte kick! She tags in Tamara Sanchez, and she climbs to the top rope. Turner knocks heads with her with a swandive headbutt!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Anjanette Turner kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez pulls Turner up and irish whips her into the ropes, and tiltawhirl suplexes her!
(Sanchez scoops her up and bodyslams her. She climbs up to the top turnbuckle and hits her with a senton splash)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Anjanette Turner kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez tags in Brandy, who scoops Turner up and drops her across her knee with a backbreaker.
(Sanchez steps out on to the apron, and gets a running start before shooting star pressing Vagabond on the floor)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy hits Vagabond with her 7 Year Inch finisher out on the floor!! Inside the ring, Brandy whips Turner around into a neckbreaker!
(She pulls Turner's head into her legs and piledrives her. The Key Arena boos and Brandy seductively lies on top of her with her crotch in Turner's face)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandy hit The Date {No Means No} and pins her with The Lap Dance.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!
(The "Strutter" by KISS plays and the fans jeer and boo, while Tammy celebrates outside)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The villanous Sanchez and Brandy attacked Vagabond before the match, making this a vicious double teaming on the fan favorite Anjanette Turner.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 10 minutes 13 seconds; THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH...BRANDY & TAMARA SANCHEZ!!"
(Brandy rolls out of the ring, and grabs a chair. She rolls back into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: I don't like the looks of that chair there. She lifts it up high and smashes a prone Turner on the back with it! She jabs the edge into her kidneys!
(Tammy grabs Vagabond by the hair and rolls her into the ring. Vagabond DDTs Vagabond onto the chair, as fans begin to throw garbage and debris into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy evily laughs and...Brandy just clocked her with the chair!!
(The crowd reacts with shock, and Brandy quickly pulls her head into her legs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandy Date {No Means No} piledrives her partner Sanchez's head onto that steel chair!!
Phil Blauer: Brandy has had an obsession with Tammy Sanchez for years now and it looks like it just turned ugly. I can definately relate.
(As the crowd continues to boo, Brandy sticks Sanchez's leg through the chair. She then climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandy moonsaults off the top rope onto Sanchez's leg wrapped up in that chair!!! That wakes Sanchez up out of her semi-comatose state, and she looks to have a broken leg!
Phil Blauer: All Sanchez had to do is was talk to her. Maybe tell her she was pretty.
(Sanchez rolls around the mat, crying. She clutches her leg, and pounds on the mat in agony. Brandy leaves the ring with a sadistic smile)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandy lays out "Sexy" Anjanette Turner, Vagabond, and her own partner, Tammy Sanchez, possibly ending her career here tonight!
Phil Blauer: Suddenly the winner of tonight's match between Xyrynth & Ayame Tokugawa has a lot smaller list of contenders!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up we have the continuiation of a feud that has spanned over the Hardkore regions of the West Coast, Rocky Mountains, Japan, Canada, and probably Australia & Far East if the records weren't lost in those horrible tsunamis.
Phil Blauer: I lost my mother in those waves of death. I have never forgiven God for that.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Your mother lives in Boca Raton.
Phil Blauer: And I have never forgiven God for that.
Guillermo O'Bannon: At any rate, Rally Jackson & Cyrus Williams have traded titles most notably in Canada. It was at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto, that Cyrus Williams hit The Blackout and ended Rally's Hardkore Canada Great White North Championship reign.
Phil Blauer: Who was the "new superstar" in that match to run-in and cost the champion his title only to no-show when he's finally booked?
Guillermo O'Bannon: (checks front & back of index card) I dunno, doesn't say. Probably Tonic. Outside chance it was Ryan Shaffer. That guy tickled Cody's balls more time than the girl who had him doing her homework.
("Block Rockin Beats" by Chemical Brothers plays and Rally Jackson walks out on his cell phone, a little unaccustomed to the cheers he's recieving. He tells whoever he's talking to that he'll call him back and smiles back at the applauding crowd)
Phil Blauer: Rally Jackson was the one left without a partner in San Diego. He was the one that had to scramble for a partner, almost being forced to team with The Microshocker before Eerie Von stepped up to chokeslam the Nazi's back to hell.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Actually they went back to Canada to wrestle.
Phil Blauer: What did I say?
Yolanda Ando: Rally Jackson wears a green capoeira gui with yellow trim. And don't worry ladies, (and Phil), that top's coming off.
Phil Blauer: What are you implying...oooh, it is.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, from Rio De Janiero, Brazil; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 241 pounds...'TIGERHEART' RALLY JACKSON!!!"
(The fans applaud Rally Jackson, as he loosens up the ropes. Then The Key Arena lights cut out completely. Over the PA comes a chant from the Muhammed Ali movie accompanied by a war drum beat. Intelligent white lights bounce along to the chant itself. As this happens, six young men dressed in in black t-shirts and grey athletic pants walk into the arena and roll a red carpet down the aisle, all the way to the ring)
#THE CHAMP IS HERE
#THE CHAMP IS HERE
#THE CHAMP IS HERE
#THE CHAMP IS HERE.
[The chant stops completely, as do the intelligent lights. The carpet rollers line the aisles as "Personal Jesus" by Depeche Mode begins to play.]
#REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH
[Out of the curtain first is "The Voice of Pro Wrestling" Paul Mannetti, dressed in a sharp suit. Behind him comes the cornermen, Jinn Blaze, Michael Maxwell, Bludd, Tatsuya Arakawa, and Joe Charleston, clad in grey and black velour sweatsuits with "REVIVE STRONG STYLE" written on the back. Blaze, Bludd, and Charleston all carry large towels while Arakawa & Maxwell sport a can of cold spray and a bucket of ice respectively. They begin to make their way down the aisle, past the carpet rollers.]
#Your own personal Jesus
#Someone to hear your prayers
#Someone who cares
#Your own personal Jesus
#Someone to hear your prayers
#Someone who's there
Phil Blauer: You know, Cyrus was also the innovator of us having to hear all the lyrics of a given song. Much duplicated by Creed & Slipknot lovers everywhere.
[Next comes Tom Lux, power broker and agent, dressed in an even sharper suit than Mannetti. Black coat, red shirt, black tie. He carries a briefcase. He follows the cornermen. Suddenly, a large shower of grey pyros come down from the ceiling as the first verse begins.]
#Feeling unknown when you're all alone
#Flesh and bone by the telephone
#Pick up the receiver I'll make you a believer
#Take second best, put me to the test
#Things on your chest you need to confess
#I will deliver, you know I'm a forgiver
[Finally, Cyrus Williams steps out into the arena, through the pyros. He wears a long black and grey ring robe with a hood, which he flips up once he's completely out in the arena.]
#REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH
#REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH
[Trash begins to get hurled at Cyrus as he walks down the aisle, his cocky smile never fading from his face.]
Phil Blauer: What's Cyrus been up to? Other than enjoying Marilyn Manson's failsafe covers of old 80's tunes.
Guillermo O'Bannon: After quitting Hardkore World, Cyrus Williams left the United States on excursion to Europe. He stayed out of the wrestling ring and began to schmooze with euro-trash pseudo celebrities and those that latched onto him due to his fame. Cyrus spent a year as a hedonist, spending ridiculous amounts of cash.
Phil Blauer: Most of it was earned due to alleged dealings in the Eur-Asian pornography trade.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Who told you that?
Phil Blauer: Boone. And reportedly, Shane-o is being considered to head up the new ECW wing of the already cash-hemmoraging WWE. It's gonna be just like ECW, except now everyone's 10 years older and have played out gimmicks.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus then headed out to Japan, looking to party over there. However, Cyrus Williams found himself drawn back into the wrestling business after befriending some very high profile Japanese wrestlers with ties to pop culture such as Yoshihiro Takayama, Minoru Suzuki, Masahiro Chono, and Kensuke Sasaki. Though he did not wrestle, the itch got to him. Cyrus decided that he would go back to the business he turned his back on, but now, he considers himself a bigger star than anyone in Hardkore World. Gone are the days of jean shorts, shaved heads, metal t-shirts, and hard drinking, replaced with grandiose entrances, expensive suits, and lavish accomodations. Cyrus Williams is back, armed with a sense of elitism, and the fact that he is still, in his mind, the World Champion.
#Your own personal Jesus
#Someone to hear your prayers
#Someone who cares
#Your own personal Jesus
#Someone to hear your prayers
#Someone who's there
[Cyrus makes it to the ring as the song breaks down. He climbs the ring steps as he steps in, with Lux, Mannetti, and the cornermen following him. When he enters the ring, Cyrus goes to the center of the ring and does a victory pose, with his entourage doing it's best to deflect the garbage being pelted at him.]
#REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH
[Tom Lux hands Paul Mannetti a microphone as Cyrus' grandiose ring introduction begins.]
Paul Mannetti: "Ladies and gentlemen of Seattle, WA, your city is home of many a notable achievement and accomplishment. Aside from being the end point on the longest highway in America, interstate 90, Seattle can call itself the home of overpriced coffee, idiots throwing fish in a market, a crappy baseball team, and the place where Steven slapped Irene on the Real World. In addition to that, it gave the musical world the long-forgotten genre of grunge, which gave the world some of the most awesomely gruesome suicides and brutal rapes of all time."
Paul Mannetti: "All things aside, you will be graced with the distinct pleasure of Cyrus Williams wrestling before you tonight. He has been quite handsomely to do so, as you'll notice by the 10 dollar hike in ticket prices. Yes, we did need the lobster tray in the locker room. Yes, we also needed the staff of 5 to pick out all the brown M&M's in his candy bowl."
[Cyrus' entourage nods agreeingly.]
Paul Mannetti: "Without further ado, he is the Sultan of Swat, the King of Sting, El Jefe, the Lord of England, Wales, and all commonwealths within, the Mindtaker, the Mindbender, the 14th century viscount, the president of the United States, the inventor of the Hammerlock, the inventor of the internet, the inventor of the wheel, founder of 34 prominent countries worldwide, the successor to Kofi Annan's UN chair, the new Pope, the owner of eBay, the owner of Microsoft, holds 16 different higher education degrees from 3 Ivy League schools and one community college, the taker of your daughter's virginity, the cure for all your housewives' desperations, he gets free cable when everyone else has to pay, and last but not least, holds the rights to the entire Beatles song catalogue....here is YOUR HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION.......CYRUS WILLIAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
(Everyone on the outside of the ring tosses up grey and black streamers. Everyone in the first few rows throws some popcorn and cups.Suddenly "Operation Midnight" by DJ Shadow plays and Jonnie Valentine walks out. The crowd cheers as Jonnie walks into the ring, and Valentine grabs the microphone from Paul Mannetti)
Hardkore Jonnie Valentine: "Hey Cyrus..." (sees the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship title) "Oh, there it is. (snatches the belt away from him) That's right, you had it. Blayze Bailey told me he looked for it on the mantle in the office and couldn't find it. I figured I must have left it in my other pants. But if you wanna chance to win this thing again, I'll give it to you tonight. Consider this match, the beginning of both you and Rally's return to the Hardkore World title scene. Because this is the first round of the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament, starting right...now."
(Mike Peters signals for the bell, and Cyrus slugs Rally in the face, while he's trying to take of the top of his gui)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams stiffly jabs Rally Jackson a few times, peppering his chin. He pops Rally in the face with a couple of forearms and then runs into the ropes.
(Cyrus bashes Rally in the jaw with a roaring elbow! The Seattle audience boos and Rally falls back into the corner. Cyrus grabs Jackson by one of his dreadlocks and smacks him in the face with several kawada kicks)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams steps up the ropes and blasts Rally in the side of the head with an enzuigiri! Cyrus irish whips Rally into the other corner, but Rally hops on to the second turnbuckle and backflips into a Tiger Kick!
(The Key Arena applauds, and Rally Jackson rubs his jaw where Cyrus hit him. He pulls Jackson up and flips him over into an exploder '98)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally Jackson irish whips Cyrus Williams into the ropes and follows him in with a dropkick that sends him over the top rope to the floor!
(The crowd gets louder, and Rally climbs to the top turnbuckle, waiting for Cyrus to get up. Rally backflips into a shooting star press but Cyrus moves and Tigerheart smacks concrete!! The fans wince in sympathy)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams avoided that shooting star and now has Rally in his clutches. He waistlocks Rally and release german suplexes the back of his head into the corner post!!
(The fans boo, and beg Rally to get up. He clutches the back of his neck, as blood runs through his fingers. Cyrus drags the steel ringsteps out into the middle of the arena floor, then scoops Rally up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus stands up on the steel ringsteps and tombstone piledrives him on them!!
(Rally flops forward off of the steps on to the floor. Cyrus pulls Rally up by the dreads and rolls him into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams wraps his legs around Rally's waist and applies a choke sleeper. Jackson wrapped up with one of his favorite moves.
Phil Blauer: Like the time Tom Cruise grabbed my ass and called me a dirty slut at that party I took you to.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I can't believe you wouldn't drive me home after that.
Phil Blauer: Party was just gettin started!
(Cyrus rolls onto his back and squeezes the air out of his with his legs, and eliminates the ability to get new air with that arm clamped against his windpipe. Mike Peters checks in to see if he taps out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus releases the sleeper, and pulls Rally up into a suplex, but Jackson blocks it. He lifts Williams up into a suplex and then drops him into a piledriver!!
(The fans cheer Rally Jackson. Jackson, with blood running down his back, waistlocks Cyrus Williams and german suplexes him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally pulls Cyrus up in a hammerlock & half nelson, and drops him back into a tiger suplex '85!! He pulls Cyrus up into a full nelson and dumps him on his head with a bridged dragon suplex!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus Williams roll his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Williams gets up on his knees and Rally smacks him in the face with a shining wizard! He pulls Cyrus up and irish whips him hard into the corner. Rally Jackson follows him in with a cartwheel into a tidal wave kick, but Cyrus bounces out and ducks under it. He hits the ropes and flips Rally Jackson head over heels with a burning lariot!!
(The crowd goes back to booing Cyrus Williams, as he rubs his nose. He mouths "Ring rust." to Tom Lux & Paul Manetti. They nod & smile)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams scoops Rally up and drops him on his head with a northern lights bomb!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Rally Jackson gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams applies a jujigatame on Rally Jackson, and pulls up on his head & arm! Rally screaming out in pain, but the fans begging him not to quit!
(Mike Peters checks in to see if Rally submits, and he almost does. Rally rolls Cyrus Williams over on to his back, pinning his shoulders to the mat)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus releases his arm so he can get his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally Jackson whacks Cyrus in the face with a series of kawada kicks, a reciept for the same kicks he recieved from The f'n Vyrus. He pulls Cyrus into his legs, and drives his face into the mat with a styles clash!!
(Rally Jackson hops on Williams' back and applies a triangle choke, rolling him around the mat so he can't get to the ropes. The Key Arena cheers Cyrus' perdictament)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally Jackson trying to choke out the man who has been responsible for ending his Canadian title reign! But he rolls over close enough to the ropes that Cyrus can reach out and grab the top rope! Rally pulls Cyrus up but Williams reverses it and pulls himself in and release half nelson suplexes him into the turnbuckles!
(Crowd boos, and Cyrus walks over and rakes his bootlaces against Rally's face a few times. Cyrus runs into the ropes and whacks Rally in the face with a Facewash kick)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally collapses out of the corner as Cyrus Williams climbs to the top turnbuckle. He hops off and lands with both feet on Rally's stomach!
(Rally leans over and vomits a little. Cyrus soaks in the boos from The Key Arena. Cyrus motions, "One more time." to his cornerman Jinn Blaze, and then climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Peters checks in to the vomiting Rally to see if he wants him to end the match, and Rally pushes him away into the ropes, crotching Cyrus! Rally sees his spot of good luck and climbs to the second rope. He drives Cyrus' head into the mat with a Rio Deal!!
(The Key Arena is deafening as Rally Jackson scampers over to pin Cyrus)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr...(Cyrus Williams kicks out)
(Audience groans at how close Rally came to beating Cyrus, then applaud the good match. Bludd screams at Cyrus trying to wake him up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally Jackson lifts Cyrus upside down into a gory special, and if you've ever heard Michael Cole say anything, you'd know this move was invented by Eddie's grandfather Gory.
Phil Blauer: And if you've ever listened to Taz, you'd know it doesn't take more than a smoke machine and a motorized platform for him to think The Undertaker is "floatin', Cole!"
(Rally Jackson drops down to his knees, driving Cyrus' head into the mat!! The Seattle crowd applauds Rally, who applies a cattle mutilation to Cyrus' arms & head)
Phil Blauer: "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson rocks back on Cyrus...
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn.
Phil Blauer: ...on Cobryn's head & back, as the two time former champion refuses to tap out!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally releases the cattle mutilation, and lifts Cyrus up into a widow's peak. He flips Williams over and into a Barry White Driver!!
(The Key Arena leaps to their feet and begins chanting "RAL-LY!! RAL-LY!! RAL-LY!! RAL-LY!! RAL-LY!!" Rally hooks Williams' leg)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus Williams kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally pulls Cyrus up and ducks a right hand from Cyrus, then runs him into the ropes. He rolls Cyrus up into a backroll press!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus grabs Rally by the back of the gui into a backroll press)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Rally Jackson kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus rolls up into a full nelson and dragon suplexes him!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Rally Jackson gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally Jackson runs into the ropes and walks right into a high roundhouse kick! As Tigerheart drops to his knees, Cyrus bashes him in the face with a knee.
(Cyrus turns Rally over into a single leg boston crab. Williams pulls back on Jackson's legs while standing on his head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus trying to take out those powerful legs of Rally's to cut down on those kicks of his. Williams releases it, and irish whips Rally into the ropes. He dips down for a backdrop, and Rally reverses it into a canadian destroyer piledriver!!!
(The Key Arena is deafening with chants of "RAL-LY!! RAL-LY!! RAL-LY!! RAL-LY!! RAL-LY!!" Rally inverted facelocks Cyrus and turns him over into a dragon clutch)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally Jackson has the fans on his side for a change. He attempts to bend Cyrus in half with the old Kyoto Klutch, from Akira Kyoto! Mike Peters checks in but Williams being urged by his corner to hang on.
(Rally plants his feet and wails back on Cyrus' head. Rally then lifts Cyrus up in a fisherman's suplex but then drops him neckfirst across his knee)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Musclebuster by Rally Jackson and this crowd is on their feet! Rally climbs to the second rope and twists off into an inverted tornado DDT, but Cyrus reverses it into a corkscrew tombstone!!
(The audience boos and Cyrus is off into the ropes, coming back with a penalty kick to Rally's face as he's on his knees! The crowd gets louder, so Tatsuya Arakawa and Joe Charleston try to drown them out by clapping. Cyrus then walks over to Rally, and grabs him by the dreads. He drags Rally's face along the canvas)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus drops knees to the back of Rally's head over & over, getting blood on his kickpads. He applies an abdominal stretch into a giant octopus then rolls it on to the mat. He pulls back on Rally's arm, and then rolls it into a cradle.
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Rally Jackson kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus pulls Rally Jackson into the turnbuckles, but Rally reverses it and shoots Williams into the corner. He cartwheels into a tidal wave kick!
(Rally Jackson climbs up to the top rope as Cyrus gets up to his hands and knees. Rally front flips into a rocker dropper off the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: From Rio with Love!!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus Williams kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally Jackson half nelsons Cyrus and drops him across his knee with a storm cradle driver!! He irish whips Cyrus into the turnbuckles again, and rolls forward into a koppo kick!
(Cyrus responds with a european uppercut to Rally's cheek bone and then an enzuigiri which knocks Rally to one knee)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus wallops Rally in the face with a shining wizard! Rally stays kneeling while Cyrus backs up, yakuza kick!
(Cyrus backs up again, and ends his striking combo with a rolling koppo kick of his own. As the audience boos, Cyrus kips up, and spits on Rally Jackson)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus lifts Rally up in a vertical suplex and then brainbusters him onto his knee!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr...(Rally Jackson kicks out)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes have elapsed, 10 Minutes Remaining."
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams almost put Rally away with that one and now applies a cobra clutch. He spins Rally round & round and then drops him right on his head with a dangerous cobra driver!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr....(Rally Jackson gets his foot on the bottom rope)
(The Key Arena breaks out in applause, and Williams smacks the mat in frustration. The dim Mike Peters asks "Are you tapping out?")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams signals that it's over.
Phil Blauer: Never a good sign.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus lifts Rally up in a Blackout but Rally falls behind him and drops Cyrus on his skull with a backdrop driver!!
(Crowd comes alive and Jackson feeds off their energy to pump himself back up. He pulls Cyrus' head into his legs and then pulls him up on his shoulder in a powerbomb, but Cyrus slides back on to his feet catching Rally's head in an inverted facelock on the way over)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus hits The Blackout!!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
(Marilyn Manson's "Personal Jesus" plays and The Key Arena boos. Cyrus Williams drops to the mat, and rolls out of the ring to his entourage)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 21 minutes 14 seconds, THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, ADVANCING TO THE SECOND ROUND OF THE HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT...CYRUS WILLIAMS!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams, without knowing it beforehand is one step closer to regaining the World Championship he feels he still owns.
Phil Blauer: I have a car somewhere I feel I still own.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Your nowhere closer to regaining that one. It was repo'd.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up is the match to decide who is the number one contender to the West Coast title. Bruno and Tony Thunder lit it up in San Francisco in a threeway dance with "Nasty" Ned Chambers.
Phil Blauer: I miss Ned.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I know you do, Phil. Now they get a new dance partner, and a formidible one at that. "Your Canadian Hero" Nick Knight.
Phil Blauer: Nah, my Canadian Hero is Loverboy.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nick Knight had quite a showing in the barbed wire battle royal...
Phil Blauer: Oooh, ooh, can I change mine? Ok, my Canadian Hero is Michael Douglas.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Michael Douglas is from Jersey.
Phil Blauer: You kidding me, with that mullet?
("Warrior Part 2" by Eminem/Lloyd Banks/Nate Dogg/50 Cent plays on The Key Arena public announce system and the Seattle audience cheers)
Phil Blauer: That's alot of guys to sing one song.
(White and red lasers just keep hitting The Key Arena while a maple leaf is shown on the titantron followed by the words "Your...Canadian...Hero." Once the actual song starts, a big water mark of a maple leaf is cast upon the ramp and Nick Knight slowly makes his way to the ring waving a big Canadian Flag in his hand)
Phil Blauer: How come everybody's cheering him?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Haven't you heard? Canadian heels are out like Atari Teenage Riot. Thought you knew.
(Nick Knight gets in the ring and perches the middle rope while placing his right hand on his chest and screaming "Oh Canada")
Phil Blauer: With no NHL, he figures that tune's gotta get SOME play. So I hear your going over there?
Guillermo O'Bannon: My agents are talking...
Phil Blauer: Your Uncle Morty?
Guillermo O'Bannon: My Uncle Morty has been talking to the officials at Hardkore Canada, and there have been some rather generous offers floated my way.
Phil Blauer: Like?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Well, my pick of any & all flannel at some of Canada's top boutiques.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is a Threeway Dance, the winner will become the number one contender to the Hardkore West Coast title. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 252 pounds...'YOUR CANADIAN HERO' NICK KNIGHT!!!"
(Fans give Knight a round of applause, but he's lost in that groovy national anthem. Then red pyros go off while "The Champ is Here" by Jadakiss plays and the audience gets alot louder. Bruno does a bodybuilder pose)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno looking to realize his dream of becoming Hardkore West Coast Champion.
Phil Blauer: Yes, but what about my dream?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jesus, Phil, would you shut up about that? I told you Jim Varney's dead, you can't meet him!!
Yolanda Ando: Bruno's wearing black tights.
Phil Blauer: Is that what we pay her for?? I could of told you that!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And from Compton, California; Standing 7 feet tall; Weighing 355 pounds...BRUNO!!!"
(The audience cheers and Bruno points out the loudest ones. When the ring workers are done setting up the half-pipe, "Thunderstruck" by AC/DC plays and the Tony Thunder fans make themselves heard. Tony Thunder skateboards through the curtain, and rides up the skate ramp over the ropes into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tony Thunder's uncle DKahuna is best friends with Bruno. But tonight, Bruno is a roadblock to Thunder's shot at the Hardkore West Coast Title. Nothing more.
Phil Blauer: Sure, Bruno will still play "I got your nose" with Tony Thunder. But it will be an empty gesture.
Yolanda Ando: Tony Thunder wears a black t-shirt with "X Games" on the front and "Tony Thunder Rulz, DUDE!" on the back. Black shorts with blue elbow & kneepads.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And finally, from Venice Beach, California; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 250 pounds...'THE EXTREMIST' TONY THUNDER!!"
(The audience cheers and then "Operation Midnight" by DJ Shadow plays. The fans are familiar with Hardkore Jonnie Valentine's theme, and cheer. Valentine walks out wearing a Cincinatti Bengals home jersey with Carson Palmer's #9)
Phil Blauer: Jonnie obviously looking for the sympathy pop with that Bengals jersey.
Guillermo O'Bannon: What does Jonnie wanna say to these three?
Hardkore Jonnie Valentine: "As you three know, Robert Hunglestien III no-showed Palm Springs Punishment making Palm Springs Punishment the first Hardkore World pay-per-view ever main evented by a Moondog. With this in mind, I am stripping Robert Hunglestien of his second round seeding in the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament. This match between Bruno, Nick Knight, and Tony Thunder will not only decide who is the number one contender to the Hardkore West Coast Champion, but will also be for a berth in the second round of the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament."
(The Seattle crowd cheers and the three wrestlers celebrate this sudden elevation in stakes. Ron Reid signals for the bell, and Jonnie Valentine walks back up to the front)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Your Canadian Hero" Nick Knight waistlocks Tony Thunder and german suplexes him so hard he flips over on to his face!
(Bruno runs off the ropes and flips Nick Knight head over heels with a harsh clothesline! The audience applauds)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno picks Thunder up in a Brunobomb but The Extremist reverses it into a huracanrana!!
(Tony Thunder takes Nick Knight over in a fireman's carry, then applies a sleeper hold on Bruno! Bruno stands up, and Thunder rides him piggyback style)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno backs Thunder into the corner and squashes him with his 355 pounds! Thunder falls out of the ring! Bruno scoops up Nick Knight and drops his back across his knee with a Brunobreaker!
(Tony Thunder climbs up to the top turnbuckle with a chair in his hand, while Bruno holds Knight against his knee. He hops off the top with a chair and atomic legdrops Knight in the face with it!! The fans cheer and Tony Thunder covers Nick Knight)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr...(Nick Knight kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno irish whips Nick Knight into the ropes and lifts him up into a spinebuster, but Knight reverses it into a monkey flip!
(Knight mounts Bruno and pounds him with several right hands, and the fans cheer. Tony Thunder pulls Knight up and belly to belly suplexes him! The Key Arena applauds)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno german suplexes Tony Thunder!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tony Thunder rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nick Knight flips Thunder over with an exploder '98 suplex!!
(Knight irish whips Thunder into the ropes and goes for a flying spin kick, but Thunder ducks and reverses it into an abdominal stretch. Thunder plants his foot and wrenches back with Your Canadian Hero's arm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno comes off the ropes and pounds Knight in the face with a big boot while he's trapped in The Extremist's abdominal stretch! Thunder rolls Bruno up from behind with a crucifix cradle!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Bruno gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno gets up and Nick Knight smacks him with a karate chop to the chest. Your Canadian Hero measures him and pops him with another hard chop to the pectorals!
(Knight chops Bruno's chest over & over as The Key Arena starts "Woo"-ing louder & louder. Tony Thunder climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tony Thunder smacks a stunned Bruno in the face with a flying headbutt off the top rope!
(Nick Knight attempts to suplex the 7 footer, but Bruno blocks it and lifts Knight up high into a suplex. The Key Arena lights up like daylight as the audience takes pictures of Their Canadian Hero hanging upside down 7 feet in the air. After several moments of pleading from Knight, Bruno drops Nick Knight with a suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tony Thunder runs into the ropes and flips into a rolling thunder legdrop on Nick Knight! Thunder pulls Knight up and goes for a suplex but Knight blocks it.
(Knight vertical suplexes Thunder into an orange bomb!! The crowd applauds and Ron Reid slides into position)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Bruno elbow drops Tony Thunder in the face)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nick Knight climbs to the top rope and comes off with a huracanrana, but Thunder catches him by his legs and powerbombs him!!
(Bruno grabs Thunder by the neck and drives him into the canvas with a rock bottom! Nick Knight staggers to his feet, and then runs into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Your Canadian Hero gets enough height to hit the seven foot Bruno with a roundhouse kick!
(Nick Knight sets Bruno's throat on the top rope, as Thunder climbs to the top turnbuckle. Thunder comes off with a leg drop to the back of Bruno's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Guillotine legdrop by The Extremist! Nick Knight irish whips Tony Thunder into the ropes and flies into a quebrada into an inverted DDT!!
(Bruno shakily climbs on to the top turnbuckle and then hops off hitting Tony Thunder with an elbow drop! Bruno applies a kataha-jime to Tony Thunder, the audience leaps to their feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno cutting off all the air to Tony Thunder's brain.
Phil Blauer: Unfortunately Thunder's mother beat him to it with her massive drinking during his pregnancy.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno rolls on to his back, and clamps down on Thunder's throat! There's no escape and Tony Thunder has to tap out!!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 10 minutes 27 seconds, 'The Extremist' Tony Thunder has been eliminated!"
(The audience applauds Tony Thunder's performance, as he rolls out of the ring and walks to the back. Inside the ring, Bruno and Nick Knight circle one another)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno & Knight lock up, and Bruno shoots Knight into the ropes. Bruno runs into them but Knight tumbles underneath a clothesline. Knight comes back out of the ropes and handsprings into a cartwheel into a clothesline that knocks Bruno into the corner!
(The Key Arena applauds Knight's agility. Knight climbs up to the second rope and inverted facelocks Bruno)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Your Canadian Hero inverted tornado DDT's Bruno off the second rope!! He maintains the inverted facelock and turns Bruno over into a dragon clutch!!
(The fans applaud Knight's combination, and Ron Reid asks Bruno if he wants to give up not only a shot at the Hardkore West Coast title but his spot in the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Knight plants his feet and pulls back on Bruno's head & neck while bending his back into a painful arch.
Phil Blauer: I wonder if Bruno ever had Tammy in that same way? I hear she's a real freak like that.
(Bruno uses those long arms to reach out and grab hold of the bottom rope. Ron Reid forces a Knight to break the dragon clutch. Knight then stands in the corner and waits for Bruno to get up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Knight tries to hit the 355 pounder with a spear but Bruno no sells it and reverses it into a DDT!!
(The fans cheer and Bruno pumps himself up and waits for Knight to stand. When he does, Bruno knocks him into next week with a giant spear!! The crowd roars and chant "BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno grabs Knight's foot and twists it into an ankle lock! He wraps his trunk legs around Nick's thigh and falls back to the mat.
(Bruno twists Knight's foot from side as Nick's fists ball up in pain. Ron Reid checks in to see if he submits as Bruno yells "QUIT! Quit, motherfucker!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno releases the "Bruno Leglock" and pulls Knight up into a crotch-tie position. He pumphandles Knight up but Knight rolls up into a diamond cutter!!
(Crowd applauds the reversal, but Knight is busy whipping Bruno's leg around into a spinning toehold. Nick drops down into a figure four leglock, and Bruno sits up in agony)
Guillermo O'Bannon: He calls that The Figure Four Nick Lock.
Phil Blauer: If you don't have a good name for a move, just leave it be.
(Nick pushes up to give himself added leverage. Bruno cries out in pain, and tries unsuccessfully to roll it over)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nick releases the figure four and pulls Bruno up into a front facelock. He drops down into an evenflow DDT!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Bruno kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nick climbs to the top rope, and comes off with a plancha but Bruno catches him and powerslams him!!
Phil Blauer: That's 355 pounds of Compton coming down on you! Usually when that happens I wake up screaming in a cold sweat.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Nick Knight kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno irish whips Nick Knight into the ropes and tiltawhirls him into a side slam!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Nick Knight kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno scoops Knight up and drills his skull into the mat with a tombstone piledriver! Bruno fireman's carries Nick up and sits him on the top turnbuckle, but Knight slugs him from up there.
(Knight inverted facelocks Bruno and flips forward into a Canadian diamond dust!! The audience applauds, and Knight hooks the leg)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Bruno kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Knight hooks him from behind and drops the 7 footer into an Orton backbreaker!
(Nick Knight climbs to the top turnbuckle and then tightrope walks across the top rope! The Key Arena applauds his ballance)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nick Knight tightrope walks and then leaps on to Bruno's shoulder with a Walk-a-Rana!!
(The Seattle fans give Knight a standing ovation for that move and Knight makes another pin attempt)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Bruno kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Knight front facelocks Bruno, but Bruno rolls it into an unprettier!!
(Fans applaud Bruno's quick reversal, and Bruno twists Knight's arm. Bruno nods & smiles, then steps up to the top rope and does a tightrope walk of his own. The crowd applauds even louder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno showing Nick Knight how a tightrope is done and then comes down on his twisted arm with one of those treelike forearms!
(Nick Knight staggers around, clutching his arm. Bruno makes a big show out of grabbing Knight by his throat. The Seattle fans jump to their feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno lifts Knight seven feet in the air and chokeslams him back to the stone age!!
(The Key Arena is deafening with the chant of "BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!!" Bruno pulls Knight up into a suplex but Knight floats over and lands on his feet behind him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Knight reverses the Brunobuster into a flatliner he calls Knighthood Stripped!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
("Warrior Part 2" by Eminem/Lloyd Banks/Nate Dogg/50 Cent plays and the fans in The Key Arena put down whatever their doing to give both wrestlers a standing ovation for such an outstanding match)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Your Canadian Hero" Nick Knight not only has the winner of tonight's rematch between The Shootfighter & Big Bad Bill; but he advances to the second round of the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 18 minutes 9 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, ADVANCING TO THE QUARTERFINALS OF THE HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT...'YOUR CANADIAN HERO' NICK KNIGHT!!!"
(Knight walks over to Bruno and shakes his hand. The Key Arena gives both men another standing ovation)
(Camera comes out to the backstage area of The Key Arena. A miniature version of Seattle has been erected. Speaking of erect, there's the Space Needle. Former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone is standing in the center of the city)
Former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Ladies and Gentleman, I am standing here in the center of Seattle. Tonight, two of Hardkore's monsters will battle in this city I contructed to see who is truly the King of All Monsters...
Phil Blauer: (inside the arena) Matt, Matt...can you hear me?
Former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Yes.
Phil Blauer: When were you able to build this giant city?
Former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: In my spare time. Without further ado. First, Stan "The Tank" Wilson...
(Three Japanese men all croon into a microphone, "Stan The Tank...STAN THE TANK!" as Stan walks out. Stan rolls his eyes at all the high camp and stands on his side of Seattle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan said he didn't care what kind of match he got Gojira in. I think now, he could be regretting that statement.
Phil Blauer: I gotta get those Japanese guys. They could be the new 98 Degrees, but Japanese...and slightly more middle aged.
Former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: AND...Death Gojira!
(The singers chime in with "Go-ji-ra...Go-ji-ra...." as Death Gojira stomps out into the center of Seattle)
Guilllermo O'Bannon: Now the rules of this match is one wrestler must climb up the Space Needle and grab a plushie doll of Minya, Godzilla's son.
Phil Blauer: I thought it was gonna be Tokyo.
Guillermo O'Bannon: We couldn't get the rights to Tokyo. We only had enough for Seattle or Halifax. Stan rushes Gojira and bashes his face into a building then raises his hand over his head mocking Gojira's size.
(Gojira gets angry and charges Stan Wilson, Wilson shoulderblocks her and Gojira goes down like a ton of bricks)
Japanese singers: Stan The Tank...STAN THE TANK!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson pulls Gojira up and bearhugs him! He tries his hand at squeezing the life out of The King of the Monsters!
(Gojira cries out in pain, as Wilson constricts his breathing. Gojira pokes Wilson in the eye)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira applies a chicken wing crossface on Wilson. Gojira's pulling him down by the neck while cranking that arm. Gojira ties up their legs a little and then leg sweeps Stan's face into one of the buildings!
(Death Gojira climbs up on to one of the buildings and delivers a super facebuster on Stan!! Wilson's face bounces off the asphalt)
Japanese Singers: "Go-ji-ra! GO-JI-RA!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira grabs Stan Wilson and rams his head through the Seattle greenhouse! Glass is everywhere!
(Gojira picks up his Goji Chair and runs at Stan, but Wilson catches him with a Black Hole Slam onto the Seattle Petting Zoo!! Gojira squashes little miniature goats, pigs, & rabbits)
Japanese singers: "Stan the Tank...STAN THE TANK!!"
Phil Blauer: Those little plastic piggies are like shrapnel in your back!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson steps on Gojira's throat! That's over 300 pounds on his neck.
Phil Blauer: That's more than John Goodman eats in a day!
(Stan Wilson scoops Gojira up and running powerslams him on to the Municipal Court of Seattle!! The building breaks up and there seems to be a spool of barbed wire inside it. Stan takes out the spool of barbed wire and gets an evil look in his eye)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wilson wraps the barbed wire around the Seattle Financial Center.
Phil Blauer: Stan, always the stickler for detail, righting a wrong for Matt Boone. I believe the Seattle Financial Center is supposed to be wrapped in barbed wire.
Guillermo O'Bannon: When Stan goes to deliver a big boot, Gojira quickly ducks under it and trip Wilson face first into the barbed wire wrapped Seattle Financial Center!!
Japanese singers: "Go-ji-ra! GO-JI-RA!"
(With Stan down, Gojira will drop a push the Seattle-Tacoma Airport radio tower over him, sending it toppling down onto Stan!! Gojira stomps around "Ree-ornk!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira sits on Wilson's back and straightjacket camel clutches him! Wilson cannot submit here, but Gojira can sure hurt him.
Phil Blauer: But all the pain in the World won't get him that little Godzilla plushy...jesus, I have to call my agent.
(Gojira lets go of Wilson's arms and lets him drop. He begins climbing the Space Needle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira climbing up that Space Needle and getting closer to the top...Stan is up and grabs Gojira by the throat! He chokeslams Gojira on to his knee!!
(Gojira writhes around the streets, and Stan mockingly "Ree-ornk"s him)
Japanese singers: "Stan the Tank...STAN THE TANK!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan rests the back of Gojira's head on SafeCo Field. He gets a running start and leg drops him, smashing the Mariner's homefield!!
(Wilson pulls Gojira into his legs, and pulls him up onto his shoulder. Stan gets a running start and powerbombs Gojira through Seattle Bank!! Inside rests a zippo lighter and some lighter fluid. While DG tries to get on his feet, Stan signals for his chokeslam)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan looking to put this match away.
Phil Blauer: Good thing, looks like it's gonna rain. Well, it always looks like that.
(Suddenly, a group of Japanese business men run pass the set, screaming "Gojira! Gojira!" Stan turns his head from Gojira, distracted by the men. As he does, Gojira jumps to his feet and blows a fireball right at Stan's ear)
Guillermo O'Bannon: And just like that, Gojira burns Stan again!
Phil Blauer: Stan's partially blind in one eye, Gojira used Wilson's disability to his advantage! Like the time I gave Stevie Wonder the wrong change for a $100.
(Gojira rips a "Cherry Pepsi" billboard from a building and smashes it over Wilson's head a few times)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira's Goji-chair and splinters it over Stan's head!! Gojira knees Stan in the stomach, then steps back and axe kicks the back of his head into Fisherman's Wharf!!
Japanese Singers: "Go-ji-ra!! GO-JI-RA!!"
(Death Gojira celebrates and "Ree-ornk"s around Seattle, squashing buildings! He then begins to climb the Space Needle. Suddenly bubbles come up from the Pugent Sound)
Guillermo O'Bannon: What's going on under that water.
Phil Blauer: We can only hope those bubbles are coming from Stan's mouth.
(Stan Wilson leaps out of the water back on to land. The singers are in awe. Stan glares at Gojira and heads right towards him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira jumps off the Space Needle to meet him but Stan's ready for him with a clothesline!!
(Gojira's knocked for a loop and falls on the Belltown night club! Stan irish whips Gojira facefirst into the Space Needle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wilson rams his shoulder several times into Gojira's midsection, while he's trapped in front of the space needle. He backs up and nearly takes Gojira's head off with a big boot!!
(Gojira's eyes roll into the back of his head and he collapses to the asphalt. Wilson takes a few moments to catch his breath and then begins climbing the Space Needle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wilson is almost at the top of the Space Needle but Gojira has that bottle of lighter fluid. He takes a swig, lights the zippo, and blows a giant fireball at Wilson's head!!
(Wilson must drop down from the Space Needle to avoid the fireball. Gojira blows a second one at him, but The Tank ducks and a couple of the buildings catch fire)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira catches Wilson looking at the burning buildings and blows a fireball on his back! He inverted facelocks Stan and inverted DDTs him on the asphalt!!
(Gojira sticks his hand into one of the minature buildings and pulls out a Big Mac)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Obviously, Boone left his lunch in one of the buildings by accident earlier today.
Phil Blauer: Is that what he was crying about? I thought someone died! Gojira takes a couple big bites, then smears the secret sauce into Wilson's eyes!
Guillermo O'Bannon: What's so secret about it? It's Thousand Island.
Phil Blauer: But which Island is the one that makes the sauce? You could be searching your entire life and never find the right one.
(While Wilson is trying to get the letuce, tomato, two all beef patties on a sesame seed bun out of his eyes, Gojira dropkicks him into an electrified sign!! Wilson is zapped and then falls to his side)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wilson blocks a fisherman's suplex and presses Gojira over his head!
(Gojira demands to be put down until The Tank does so with a powerslam on the blacktop!! Taylor runs into the minature city, wearing a pair of Mothra wings. Gojira and Stan stop to give Taylor a confused look)
Japanese singers: "Moth-a-ra! MOTH-a-RA!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Amazing Taylor has donned the famous mothra costume. What benefit it will do Gojira is beyond me.
(Gojira sighs then motions to Stan, offering Taylor to him. Stan bows his head in thanks then chokeslams Taylor through a building!! Gojira tries to sneak up on Stan but Stan catches him and flapjacks his face into the Seattle Aquarium)
Japanese Singers: "Stan the Tank! STAN THE TANK!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan holds Gojira up in a suplex in a display of power, and then drops his back on to the West Seattle Bridge and into the pool of water!!
(Stan staggers over to the Space Needle clutching his back, and begins climbing the Space Needle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira drags himself out of the water and begins climbing the Space Needle.
Phil Blauer: It's a race to the top!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira and Stan are climbing up the Space Needle and exchanging blows.
Phil Blauer: Stan's within an arm's reach of the Godzooki plushi!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira swings around with a 619, driving his knees into Stan's side!
(Gojira grabs onto Stan's head and pulls him off the tower with a super neckbreaker onto the burning buildings!! The building Stan lands on contains pyros and explodes when he lands on it!! Stan clutches his back and rolls around the asphalt, screaming)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira drops Stan on that burning building that contained some sore of explosive, and it went up when The Tank crashed through it!!
Phil Blauer: Hit it, boys!
Japanese singers: "Go-ji-ra!! GO-JI-RA!!"
(With his last ounce of strength, Gojira climbs up the Space Needle and grabs the plushie!! The fans can be heard inside The Key Arena cheering)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira has retrieved the Minya doll and won the match!
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: "At 11 minutes 29 seconds; THE KING OF ALL MONSTERS...DEATH GOJIRA!!!"
(Gojira stands high atop of the Space Needle and gives out a victorious, but drained SKREEORNGHK! Stan pulls himself out of the rubble)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan is back and not looking very happy, and then slams powerful arms into the tower!
(The tower topples over, with Gojira still on it, onto another set of buildings rigged with explosions!! Gojira writhes around on the asphalt, clutching his numerous burns)
Phil Blauer: Ew, get a close up of that. There's a shard of wood lodged in Gojira's calf!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson grabs Gojira by the throat...he lifts him over seven feet in the air and then chokeslams his back on to that toppled Space Needle!!
(Makoto Jupiter, Eerie Von, and Tuxedo Mask rush out to collect Death Gojira! The Cupcake Crew pull Gojira to his feet while Stan begins staggering away)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira is bleeding profusely from that calf, as Taylor tries to pull it out.
(Gojira yelps out in pain and then smacks Taylor in the head. Taylor tries to get Tuxedo Mask & Eerie Von to jump Stan while he's injured)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Taylor looking to get revenge on Stan for that chokeslam but Gojira is shaking his head no.
Phil Blauer: I think he's just nodding out from the blood loss.
(Both wrestlers limp away in to the sunset, reminisent of the finale of King Kong vs Godzilla as the camera fades to black)
(Camera opens on the Hardkore World Women's Championship title belt hanging over a ladder in the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth now makes her first title defense against Ayame "Phoenix" Tokugawa in a ladder match. As far as first title defenses go, this'll be a tough one. Hardkore Nippon superstar Tokugawa recently returned from a hiatus by defeating former UCW World Champion Brandi.
Phil Blauer: But Xyrynth is fresh off a big title win from Tamara Sanchez in a falls count anywhere match. If momentum is a factor, it'll be in Xyrynth's favor.
("Before I'm Dead" by The Kidneytheives plays and KJ "Dracon" Xanathos & Pedro “El Gallo” Santiago lead Ayame down to the ring. The crowd reaction is boos mostly although she has some pockets of fans from Seattle's Japanese community. She stands up on the apron and poses for some photographs before backrolling over the top rope into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Pedro “El Gallo” Santiago recently began wrestling in Hardkore Northeast. He's slated to face Trine in the first round of the Hardkore Northeast Tri-State Championship tournament. Dracon Xanathos signed up in Canada. This clique is well represented all over the World. As far as wrestling styles, Ayame Tokugawa will be a similar opponent for Xyrynth, which is not good news.
Yolana Ando: Ayame some wears a sexy black leather pants and a baby t-shirt with crimson Japanese characters.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is a Ladder Match for the Hardkore World Women's Championship! Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by her manager, KJ "Dracon" Xanathos & Pedro "El Gallo" Santiago; Hailing from Kyoto, Japan; Standing 5 feet 9 inches tall; Weighing 133 pounds...AYAME 'PHEONIX' TOKUGAWA!!!"
(Ayame flexes her biceps as the fans boo. Then "Sweet Dreams" by Eurythmics plays and The Key Arena becomes deafening. Dr. Cliff Hawke leads Xyrynth out through the curtain, and down the aisleway. Xyrynth tries to slap as many fans' hands as she can on her way to the ring)
Phil Blauer: Xyrynth one of our most popular wrestlers.
Guillermo O'Bannon: The jealousy just wafts off of you.
Phil Blauer: No, I think that's Old Spice.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth now a two time Hardkore World Women's Champion, a feat she can truly be proud of. But how long will this latest reign last?
Yolanda Ando: Xyrynth wears some lightweight jeans dyed deep purple with "Xyrynth"
spelled in sea foam green vertically down her outer left leg. Matching sea foam green tank top tucked into the pants. Black, sturdy, hiking boots with "Section 8" emblems on the outside ankles of each, and black kneepads. Fingerless black leather gloves with the "Section 8" emblems on the backs. Her long brown hair is in a single French braid down her back to her waist, interwoven and tied with deep purple and sea foam green ribbons.
Phil Blauer: How long is Jonnie gonna continue to allow her to market HPWA products on his dime?
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And her opponent, accompanied to the ring by her manager, Dr.Cliff Hawke; Hailing from Leitchfield, Kentucky; Standing 5 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 170 pounds; She is Two Time HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...XYRYNTH!!!"
(The Seattle crowd gives her a huge ovation, as she nervously eyes the ladder. Ron Reid signals for the bell and forces Pedro “El Gallo” Santiago, Bill Kasal, Dr.Cliff Hawke, and KJ "Dracon" Xanathos out of the ring. Ayame "Phoenix" Tokugawa walks across the ring and slaps Xyrynth across the face. The fans cover their mouths, and Xyrymth whips back with a poison look)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth hiptosses Tokugawa and then rolls over top of her with a neck snap!
(Ayame gets up and Xyrynth tries to kick her but Phoenix catches her foot. Xyrynth answers with an enzuigiri kick)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth waistlocks Tokugawa but Ayame back elbows her. Phoenix snap mares her over. Tokugawa dropkicks the back of Xyrynth's head.
(Xyrynth gets up to her knees but Ayame kicks her as hard as she can in the face. The Seattle crowd boos Tokugawa but Santiago & Xanathos try and drown that out with applause. Phoenix goes into the ropes and flips her over with a flying head scissors)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame applies a sleeper hold, but Xyrynth is fast to drop on her knees with a jawbreaker! She irish whips Tokugawa into the ropes and tiltawhirls her into a gutbuster!
(The Key Arena is deafening with cheers, as Phoenix crawls around the ring, clutching her stomach. Xyrynth climbs up the ladder and waits for her to turn around)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth comes off the ladder with a flying head scissors of her own!! The fans are on their feet! The champ irish whips Tokugawa into the ropes and goes for a big boot, but Ayame catches her foot and gives her a dragon screw!
(The Seattle crowd boos, and Phoenix applies a grapevine to Xyrynth's leg. Tokugawa wrenches her leg, and Ron Reid checks in to see if she wants to tap out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame pulls up & back on Xyrynth's grapevined leg but the champion refuses to tap out. Phoenix releases the leglock and steps through the ropes out on to the apron. She hits her in the face with a springboard dropkick!!
(The fans continue to boo as Tokugawa pulls Xyrynth up by the arm. She twists her arm, and then hook kicks the helpless Xyrynth! Ayame picks up the ladder and leans it into the corner)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame picks Xyrynth up in a powerbomb but she rolls out into a standing head scissors, pitching Phoenix facefirst into the ladder!!
(The crowd cheers and Xyrynth hooks Tokugawa up into a fisherman's suplex. She lifts her up and then drops her neck into a brainbuster!! The Key Arena is deafening)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth sets the ladder up in the center of the ring and begins climbing up. She gets three quarters of the way up and then backflips into a Cleanyng Out Cobwebs kick!!
(Xyrynth picks up the ladder and leans it into the corner. She irish whips Ayame into the corner, but Phoenix reverses it and sends her into the ladder!! Tokugawa follows her in with a dropkick to the back, mashing her face into the ladder again! The fans boo as Xyrynth collapses to the mat. Ayame sets the ladder up in the center of the ring and begins climbing to the top)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth is up and begins climbing up the other side. Both ladies meet at the middle, and Phoenix takes her over the top and down to the mat with a lariot!!
(The audience cheers that spot and begins chanting "A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!!" Tokugawa lifts Xyrynth up by her braid and tosses her over the top rope to the floor below. Ayame then drags the ladder towards the ropes, then climbs up to the middle of the ladder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phoenix backflips off that ladder into a moonsault body press on Xyrynth!! Xyrynth's back hits the guardrail hard!! Tokugawa climbs up to the apron, and comes off with a plancha but Xyrynth catches her and drops her throatfirst on the railing!!
(Xyrynth picks Ayame up and DDT's her head into The Key Arena floor!! Xyrynth climbs up onto the apron, waiting for Phoenix to get back up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth comes off the apron with a spin kick! She rolls Tokugawa back in to the ring.
(Xyrynth rolls back into the ring and tips the ladder over onto it's side. She fireman's carries Ayame onto her shoulders)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth F5's Phoenix's face onto that ladder!! She sets the ladder up into the center of the ring and begins climbing up the ladder to regain her championship. Tokugawa climbs to the middle of the ladder from the other side. She grabs Xyrynth's head and drops her with a side effect off of the ladder!!
(The fans chant "A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!!" as both women lie on the mat, recovering. Ayame picks the ladder up and and tosses it on to Xyrynth's face. The sound of the metal ladder hitting Xyrynth's face rings through The Key Arena)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phoenix hits a rolling thunder on top of that ladder, ramming it into Xyrynth's face!! Tokugawa sets the ladder down in the center of the ring and pulls her head into her legs. Ayame samurai drivers Xyrynth's back onto that ladder!!!
(The Seattle crowd continues to chant "A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!!" Phoenix grabs the ladder and waits for Xyrynth to stand up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tokugawa runs at the champ with that ladder but Xyrynth overhead kicks it into Ayame's face!!
(Xyrynth sets the ladder down and then full nelsons Phoenix, positioning her near the ladder. She bubbabombs Tokugawa's ass onto the ladder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth DDTs Ayame's head onto the ladder!! She irish whips Phoenix into the ropes and knocks her into the middle of next week with a huracanrana!!
(Xyrynth sets the ladder up underneath the Hardkore World Women's Championship. She goes up the ladder, but Tokugawa climbs up on the other side. The two women meet at the top and exchange blows)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth getting the better of this exchange and pulls her into her legs.
Phil Blauer: She's gonna powerbomb her off of the ladder!
Guillermo O'Bannon: She pulls her up but Ayame huracanranas her off of the ladder to the ring below!!! Unbelievable!!
(The Key Arena chants "A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!!" Phoenix pulls Xyrynth up and bends her over her knee. KJ "Dracon" Xanathos yells at Dr. Cliff Hawke, "Let this be a lesson to you!")
Phil Blauer: So Ayame got my letters! I've been asking for this for a while.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tokugawa spanks Xyrynth over & over, trying to humiliate the two time Hardkore World Champion.
Phil Blauer: Or turn me on.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phoenix sets the ladder down in the center of the ring, and then irish whips Xyrynth into the ropes. Ayame black hole slams her onto the ladder!!
(Xyrynth writhes around the mat, clutching her back. Tokugawa sets the ladder up in the center of the ring and then begins climbing up towards the belt)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth climbs up the ladder, past Phoenix's back, and gets up on her shoulders. She inverted huracanranas Ayame off of the ladder!!
(The Key Arena applauds Xyrynth's inverted rana, as well as this show stealing match. Xyrynth tips the ladder over onto it's side. She pulls Tokugawa's head into her legs, and then pulls her up into a cradle piledriver. She drops to her knees while driving Phoenix's head into the ladder!! The building gets louder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth sets the ladder up and climbs up to the very top. She signals to her fans and then catches Ayame with a flying body press off of it!!!
(The crowd gets rowdier, and Xyrynth pulls Tokugawa up by the arm. She twists her arm and Phoenix cries out in pain. Ayame then runs up the turnbuckles, then tightrope walks along the top rope while Xyrynth still holds her by her twisted arm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tokugawa takes Xyrynth over with a huracanrana off of the middle of the top rope!! She tips the ladder over and waits for Xyrynth to stand up. She runs over to Xyrynth and jumps up into a crucifix and rolls through into a Déjà Vu DDT on the ladder!!
(The Key Arena applauds this match again, and Phoenix sets the ladder up underneath the Hardkore World Women's title. She climbs up to the middle, but Xyrynth grabs her by the back of her leather pants)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame backflips off of the ladder into an inverted DDT!! The crowd giving it up for Tokugawa's wrestling prowess. Phoenix sets the ladder up in the corner and irish whips Xyrynth, but she reverses it and sends Ayame into the ladder!! Xyrynth grabs Tokugawa by the legs and catapults her face into the ladder!!
(Phoenix falls backwards onto Xyrynth's upraised knees! Xyrynth sets the ladder up in the center of the ring, and then climbs up to the top. The champion backflips into a shooting star missle dropkick to Ayame's face!! The Seattle crowd gives her a monster pop)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The crowd going wild for a The Myssle Stryke off the top of that ladder! She picks Tokugawa up and drops her head first for a brainbuster DDT on the ladder!!
(Xyrynth begins climbing up the ladder towards the Hardkore World Women's Championship. Phoenix begins climbing up the other side. The two women meet at the top again, and begin exchanging right hands)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame wins the fist fight and applies an inverted facelock. She then applies an eye of the hurricane off of the ladder!!!
(The Key Arena boos, and Tokugawa begins climbing to the top of the ladder. She gets to the top and snags the title belt)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame "Phoenix" Tokugawa wins the Hardkore World Women's Championship!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: At 14 minutes 7 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...AND NEW HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...AYAME 'PHOENIX' TOKUGAWA!!!"
(The Seattle crowd boos as Tokugawa hoists the title belt up high in the air. Dr. Cliff Hawke escorts a shocked Xyrynth back to the locker room. When Ayame comes down from the ladder, KJ "Dracon" Xanathose & Pedro "El Gallo" Santiago hold her up on their shoulders)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame Tokugawa makes history here in Seattle tonight. Now she has to defend it against Brandi in San Diego. Can she hold on to this recent "hot potato" of a title against a veteran of the European women's scene and owner of Hardkore South?
Guillermo O'Bannon: In Denver, The Shootfighter took Big Bad Bill to the very limit. However, after breaking his nose and beating him senseless with that stainless steel cane, The Shootfighter wasn't able to defeat the West Coast Champion. Now tonight, they face off again...
Phil Blauer: ...in a little something we in creative are calling, Shootfighter/Bill IV, The Reckoning!
Guillermo O'Bannon: I'd keep working on it.
Phil Blauer: So hard to create, so easy to tear down.
("The Theme from Mortal Kombat" by The Immortals plays and the Seattle fans boo. The Shootfighter walks out with his Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team title strapped around his waist. Judge Death proudly struts down to the ring, ignoring the jeering fans)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter curing a decades long drought by winning that six man tag team title. Now he hopes to win his first singles title here in Hardkore World.
Phil Blauer: I was so sad to read that letter from his number one fan. I got one I'd like to read if we have some time.
Guillermo O'Bannon: We really don't...
Phil Blauer: "Dear Phil, This is a Cease and Desist Order from the Baltimore Ravens Cheerleading Squad..."
Yolanda Ando: The Shootfighter wears knee length black wrestling tights, black wrestling boots, sharp studded forearm pads and a tight black robe with a red dragon on the back and wields a stainless steel singapore cane. Judge Death wears a Salem witch trial style wig & robe, a gargoyles mask and black boots & wields a cane with a gargoyles head on it.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a 30 minute time limit and is for the Hardkore West Coast Championship. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by his manager, Judge Death; From Bangkok, Thailand; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds; He is One Third of the HARDKORE WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...THE SHOOTFIGHTER!!!"
(The audience boos as The Shootfighter crosses his arms and waits for Big Bad Bill to walk out. "The Headless Children" by WASP begins. The fans cheer as smoke fills the entrance ramp and ‘black lights’ cause a purplish glow as they flicker in the background. When the main guitar riff hits, Big Bad Bill appears through the smoke with the Hardkore West Coast title belt strapped around his waist, and walks towards destiny)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill got pretty hardcore during his last match with Lonewolf McNeely. This match promises to only get worse with the bad blood and unfinished business from the last match.
Yolanda Ando: Big Bad Bill wears some indigo cotton pants with black boots that go to mid-shin. He wears a black belt & indigo tank top and a pair of black weight-lifting gloves.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, from Asbury Park, New Jersey; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION...BIG BAD BILL!!!"
(Audience cheers as Big Bad Bill shadowboxes around the ring. Mike Peters signals for the bell)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter hits Bill a few stiff muy thai kicks to his ankle. Bill tries to respond with a kick, but Shootfighter catches his foot and drops him into an ankle lock!
(The crowd boos as Shootfighter wraps his legs around Bill's thigh, and wrenches his foot from side to side. Peters checks in to see if he taps out but Bill waves him off)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter gets up to his feet and gives Bill's ankle another crank. Bill rolls over on to his back and kicks him off. The Shootfighter waits for Bill to get up and then smashes him with a russian sickle using that sharp studded forearm pad of his!
(The Shootfighter irish whips Big Bad Bill into the ropes, and ducks down for a backdrop. Bill double underhooks his arms and hits a michinoku driver I)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill smacks The Shootfighter in the back of the neck with a hard punch. He follows it up with a discus punch!
(Big Bad Bill irish whips Shootfighter into the ropes and knocks him senseless with a leaping Inazuma leg lariot!)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill pulls Shootfighter up by the hair, and hits him in the groin with a low blow. Shootfighter snap suplexes him, pops his hips and rolls back up to his feet and hits a second snap suplex.
(Shootfighter hits a third snap suplex, and then applies an inverted Indian deathlock! Bill grimaces in agony as Shootfighter pushes up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter once again going to Bill's legs, trying to take away those powerful kicks. Bill grabs hold of the ropes and Mike Peters forces Shootfighter to break the Shootfighter Leglock. Shootfighter irish whips Bill into the ropes but Big Bad Bill meets him in the middle with the Unfettered Might corkscrew spear!!
(Big Bad Bill runs into the ropes and drops an elbow. He gets up, runs into the ropes and drops a second one. He pulls Shootfighter up and runs up the ropes into an acid drop! The Key Arena applauds and Big Bad Bill covers him)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter tries to get up but Bill comes off the ropes and hits him on the back of the head an axe kick! He pulls Shootfighter up, but The Malaysian Giant blocks an upper palm thrust, and responds with some dragon claw strikes to his chest.
(The Shootfighter gets underneath him with a human torture rack. He bounces up & down while spinning around then drops him in a samoan drop! He grabs Big Bad Bill's leg and twists it into a figure four leglock! The fans boo)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter clamps down on Big Bad Bill's twisted legs, and they can't be feeling too good about now.
Phil Blauer: I hear ya, my dog's are barking. Do you mind?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mind?
(Phil takes his shoes & socks off and kicks his feet up on the desk)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ugh, god Phil. What the hell is that smell?
Phil Blauer: Nothing...wait, no that's dog shit. How'd that get on there? Here give me your tie.
(The Shootfighter bounces up & down on Bill's bent legs. Mike Peters checks in to see if Bill submits, while he's distracted, Judge Death holds on to Shootfighter's arms for added leverage)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Peters turns around and catches Judge Death interfering and he forces Shootfighter to break the figure four. Shootfighter hits Bill with a couple more dragon claw strikes, but Big Bad Bill bear hugs him and batters him with several headbutts.
(Big Bad Bill irish whips The Shootfighter into the corner, then follows him in and hop onto the middle of the second rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill with a faceplant DDT off the second rope!! He comes off the ropes with a leg drop to the back of his head.
(Bill picks up Shootfighter by the hair and swings him into the corner. He grabs hold of the ropes and rams his shoulder into Shootfighter's stomach over & over)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter blocks a piledriver and reverses it into a back body drop! Shootfighter scoops Bill up and drops him across his knee into a backbreaker!
(Shootfighter shows his strength training off by curling Bill up for two more backbreakers, then a third time for a full powerslam! The Seattle crowd boos and Mike Peters slides over into a pin)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter applies a crippler crossface STF on Bill!! Bill tries to roll it over but Shootfighter blocks it with his knee and then pulls up harder on Bill's arm & head!
(Mike Peters checks in to see if he submits as the Seattle crowd begs Bill not to. Shootfighter releases the crippler crossface and whacks Bill hard in the back with a muy thai kick)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter hits Bill with another hard kick to the back, focusing it right where he dropped him on his knee with those three backbreakers. But Bill blocks one and follows it with a hard punch to Shootfighter's solar plexus!
Phil Blauer: Bill breaks bricks with those punches if that gives you any idea of how Shootfighter's guts feel right now.
Guillermo O'Bannon: After 21 years of intensive training in the Togakure clan of ninjutsu, he's gotta the hardest fists in the ring.
Phil Blauer: What about Rally?
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's the most overworked fist. Bill punches The Shootfighter in the chest and then follows it with a blow to the head!
(Bill cracks Shootfighter in his shins with a sweep kick, as Shootfighter recoils in pain, Bill follows him in with a superkick upside the head! The audience cheers)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill goes to pick Shootfighter up but Shootfighter grabs him on either side with a double claw hold to his carotid arteries! Bill tips over in pain, and Shootfighter rolls on top of him with two handfuls of his neck.
(Judge Death shouts out encouragement as Shootfighter twists and rips at Bill's sensitive nerve endings. Shootfighter pulls him up into a waistlock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter german suplexes Bill! He pulls Bill up for another and drops him on his head & shoulders! Shootfighter hits a third german suplex but holds this one for a bridge!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter wraps Bill's leg up into an inverted indian deathlock!
Phil Blauer: Shootfighter has been relentlessly working down Bill's leg during this match and the damage is evident!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter sits up to get the best possible leverage.
(Mike Peters checks in and Big Bad Bill has his fists balled up in pain. Judge Death screams "Bear down!" The Shootfighter clamps down on his legs and Bill almost taps out but somehow is able to stop himself)
Guillermo O'Bannon: With the Seattle fans rooting him on, Big Bad Bill is able to crawl over and grab the bottom rope! Peters forces Shootfighter to break the inverted indian deathlock. Shootfighter pulls him up into a russian leg sweep but Big Bad Bill blocks it. Bill responds with a leg sweep of his own!
(Bill gets up before Shootfighter can and he drives his face into the mat with an x factor! Big Bad Bill pulls Shootfighter up and irish whips him into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill drives Shootfighter facefirst into the second turnbuckle with a huracanrana!! Bill follows it with a kick to Shootfighter's exposed stomach! Bill sits on Shootfighter's back and applies a body scissors. Bill rolls back into an armlock!
(Bill squeezes Shootfighter's midsection with his legs while pulling back on the armbar. Mike Peters checks in and Shootfighter refuses to tap out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill releases the body scissors, but Shootfighter rolls out of the way of a leg drop to his arm. Shootfighter catches Bill in the kidney with a muy thai kick. He gives him a second one under the armpit. Shootfighter chops him right in the throat!
(A second knife edge chop sends Bill to the mat. The Shootfighter then applies an armbar keylock. Bill tries to roll on to his feet, but Shootfighter twists him back down to the mat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter wearing down the arm of the West Coast Champion, the same arm he worked down with that crippler crossface. But Bill uses his keylocked arm to arm drag The Shootfighter over to the mat! He applies a reverse armbar on The Shootfighter.
Phil Blauer: With Paul Roma, a reverse armbar is a piss break. With Big Bad Bill, it's a finisher.
(Bill applies a nerve hold to a pressure point on The Shootfighter's neck, while winding back on his arm. Judge Death calls out possible reversals to Shootfighter)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill moves the nervehold to Shootfighter's shoulder, and turns it into a reverse hammerlock.
Phil Blauer: Call it what you will. Anyone at Trek Con 2005 can tell you that is a Vulcan Nerve Pinch.
(Bill squeezes the nerves in Shootfighter's neck & shoulder, making him squirm. He wrenches up as hard as he can and Shootfighter cries out in agony)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill switches it up into a crossface chicken wing! The Shootfighter is pushed facedown on to the mat, and Bill knees Shootfighter a few times in the kidneys.
(Bill drives his knee in to Shootfighter's side and then pulls up hard on his throat & arm. Shootfighter rocks the back of his head into Bill's face)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter gets up and batters Bill on the back of his neck with some stiff forearms from his right arm! His left arm seems to be just kind of lying there.
Phil Blauer: It looks dislocated. Either that or Shootfighter had a stroke.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter then whacks him in the nose with his good arm with a muy thai strike that opens up Bill's nose again!
(Shootfighter applies a claw to Bill's face, squeezing a lot of blood out of his nose. Bill goes down to one knee, and Shootfighter applies a claw to his heart as well. The Key Arena boos)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed; 10 Minutes Remaining."
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter squeezing every drop out of Bill's nose, but Bill responds with a heart claw of his own!
Phil Blauer: It's a Mexican Stand-off!
(Bill wins out in the battle of the claws, and stands up. He applies an additional claw to the back of Shootfighter's neck. Mike Peters checks in but Shootfighter waves him off)
Phil Blauer: Big Bad Bill claims to know of five pressure points in the back of your neck alone. That's also the same line I used to get in the sack with Guillermo's mother.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Don't flatter yourself. She's after your credit. Big Bad Bill grabs Shootfighter by the shoulders and monkey flips him across the ring!
(Big Bad Bill climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He spins off into a Feliner roundhouse kick but Shootfighter ducks underneath)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter applies a cobra clutch with a body scissors and pulls Bill down to the mat! Shootfighter attempting to end this match with The ShootClutch!!
Phil Blauer: Shootfighter gives those kidneys he kicked earlier a good squeeze. Win or lose, Big Bad Bill's postmatch piss could be the scariest moment of his life. Luckily Cyrus is there to coach him through it.
(The Shootfighter rolls him on to his back and pulls back on Bill's arm & head with that cobra clutch. The fans boo and toss soda cups into the ring, and at Judge Death)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill is able to get to the bottom rope and grab it to force him to break The ShootClutch. The Shootfighter drags him by the leg into the center of the ring. He twists Bill's legs around and turns him over into a sharpshooter!!
(Shootfighter backs up a few steps and pulls Bill's legs back with his good arm into a liontamer style scorpion deathlock. The crowd continues to boo Shootfighter as he bridges back on Bill's legs and back)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mike Peters begging Bill to tap, after all the abuse his back has taken, but Bill will not give up the title he has held for 5 months. Shootfighter releases The ShootCrab and waistlocks Bill. Bill pulls Shootfighter's leg out from under him. Big Bad Bill gets behind Shootfighter and applies a chicken wing to his injured arm. He chicken wing suplexes him over the top rope to The Key Arena floor!!
(The audience goes wild as The Shootfighter hits the concrete! Big Bad Bill climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill comes off the top rope with a rana, but The Shootfighter reverses it into a powerbomb on the concrete!!!
(The cheers turn to jeers as The Shootfighter tries to recover. He pulls Bill up into a half nelson, and then T-bone suplexes Shootfighter onto the ring steps!! The sound of Bill's skull cracking the ring steps rings throughout The Key Arena)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter one armed belly to belly suplexes Big Bad Bill headfirst into the corner post!! Bill has a huge cut over his eye now, along with blood coming out of his nose.
(Judge Death tosses a one armed The Shootfighter his stainless steel singapore cane but Big Bad Bill catches it)
Phil Blauer: Interception. Now the Seattle fans are really at home!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill smacks Shootfighter across the face with that stainless steel singapore cane! Bill begins whacking Shootfighter about the face & body with the cane on the arena floor.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Five Minutes Have Elapsed; 5 Minutes Remaining."
(Big Bad Bill goes underneath the ring and retrieves a creme brulee torch. He shows it to the fans and they give him a monster pop)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A bloody Big Bad Bill has a blowtorch of some sort, and blasts Shootfighter in the chest with it!! Again! And again!
(Shootfighter rolls around the mat clutching his chest with his good arm, as blisters appear almost instantly. Big Bad Bill presses Shootfighter's chest on the railing and climbs up on the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill comes off the apron with a guillotine leg drop pressing that burned chest into the guardrail!
(A bloody Big Bad Bill tosses a one armed Shootfighter into the ring and Judge Death rolls the the stainless steel singapore cane in towards his man)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill rolls into the ring and The Shootfighter is ready for him with a whack from that steel cane!!
(Bill hits the mat, bleeding from two places on his head. Shootfighter stands over him and smashes him across the jaw with it!! The fans boo, and The Shootfighter applies a triangle choke!! Shootfighter rolls into the center of the ring with Bill trapped in his arms & legs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: If there is no escape from the triangle choke, then The Shootfighter has him trapped in the waning moments of this Hardkore West Coast title match. Mike Peters asks Bill if he wants to tap out, as Bill turns three different shades of purple!
(The Key Arena boos as The Shootfighter rolls him onto his side and bears down on Big Bad Bill's windpipe. Bill reaches his free hand in Shootfighter's mouth and fish-hooks him)
Phil Blauer: There may be no escape to the triangle choke in UFC, but in Hardkore America you can try your best to stick your finger through his cheek.
(Shootfighter tries to lean away from his by straightening his back, but by his moving his shoulders away, he gives giving Triple B just enough slack to lift Shootfighter up in the air and deliver a slingshot powerbomb!! The crowd chants "BILL!! BILL!! BILL!! BILL!! BILL!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill slides The Shootfighter's arms into his own and applies The Dis-Locator!! Shootfighter cries out in agony as Bill tries to dislocate both of his shoulders as well as use Shootfighter's broken arm to end this!
(The fans cheer wildly. Mike Peters continually asks Shootfighter if he wants to tap out. Suddenly Blak Lung runs out of the crowd and steps over the guardrail)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed; 1 Minute Remaining."
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung enters the ring, and smacks Big Bad Bill in the back of the head with that stainless steel singapore cane!! He grabs Big Bad Bill from behind with an inverted facelock and inverted DDTs the back of his head on to his knee!!
(The Key Arena is rocked with boos, and Blak Lung drops his elbow across Bill's exposed throat. Mike Peters shoos Blak Lung out of the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter's broken arm is saved, for the moment, by his Shadows of the Night partner, Blak Lung
Phil Blauer: Blak Lung gets revenge for being thrown into those candles of his!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "30 Seconds Remaining."
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter double underhooks Big Bad Bill's arms. He lifts him up and drops his back across his knee with The ShootBreaker!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: I don't believe it! With the help of Blak Lung, The Shootfighter has upset The Hardkore West Coast Champion!
("The Theme from Mortal Kombat" by The Immortals plays and The Key Arena boos. Judge Death grabs the six man title and the Hardkore West Coast Championship Title belt off of timekeeper Ron De La O's table)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 29 minutes 35 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...AND NEW HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION...THE SHOOTFIGHTER!!!"
(The Shootfighter is handed the Hardkore West Coast and Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team title belts. He slings one over each shoulder, and Blak Lung & Judge Death lift him up on his shoulder. Some pockets of fans applaud The Shootfighter)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter has won the West Coast title, but in what shape is that arm going to be in San Diego when he defends that title against "Your Canadian Hero" Nick Knight?
(Blak Lung and Judge Death lead The Shootfighter back to the dressing room as Big Bad Bill argues with Mike Peters about the interference)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Since 1993, the Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Title, along with the Women's title was the show stealer match on every show. With the crop of young and old cruiserweights in this match, it looks to be again.
(“This Celluloid Dream” by AFI plays and the audience applauds. Syberus walks out)
Phil Blauer: Syberus looks to be one of the odds on favorites to win this thing. He's had some words with Lucifer Jones and Cobryn this week, but who hasn't?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus has won the Light Heavyweight title in WMW Heartland and Ring Syndicate, and has held titles all over the States, The Carribean, and Canada.
Yolanda Ando: Syberus is wearing some dark blue vinyl-look shorts with a circle of yellow stars on the back depicting the European Union.
Phil Blauer: Yolanda, is that mascera he's wearing?
Yolanda Ando: That's affirmative, Phil. I can't tell the brand but it could be Max Factor, Cover Girl or Revlon.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Maybe it's Maybeline.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is an Elimination Match for the vacant HARDKORE WORLD LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP. Your referees are Mike Peters and Ron Reid. Featuring first, from The Continent of Europe; Standing 6 feet even; Weighing 232 pounds...SYBERUS!!!"
(The crowd gives him a mixed reaction as he readies himself in the corner. Then "Raining Blood" by Slayer hits, the drums pounding lightly in the backdrop of the sound of a thunderstorm for a half minute, and then lightning hits the top of the video screen and the screen "explodes" as the guitars jam, revealing the name "Carpenter" written in dripping blood. The curtain parts as two burly male 'nurses' wheel out an electric chair, with Carpenter firmly strapped down and struggling)
Phil Blauer: Do all of you Irish have to be wheeled around everywhere?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Just my Uncle Mickey. And my Uncle Jimmy. My Dad you just sorta have to drag a little.
(The nurses wheel him onto the stage and stop, undo his hand restraints and turn, running backstage. He undoes the chest buckle then frees his feet and gets up, moving towards the ring, eyes glaring as he looks around. As he gets halfway down the ramp he pulls his mask off of his belt, revealing two large brass knucks, and pulls the mask over his bandaged face)
Phil Blauer: Now he's ready to go.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter and Syberus may start this match off a little early. The two couldn't be seperated during the last barbed wire battle royal at Palm Springs Punishment.
Yolanda Ando: Carpenter is trying to bring back black leather and bandages, with a metal goalie mask.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 220 pounds...CARPENTER!!!"
(The fans almost boo Carpenter out of the building. Then "Hallelujah"
plays and the audience continues to boo. "Minister" Marty Bower walks out hand in hand with his invisible manager, Jesus)
Phil Blauer: Everytime I see that it gives me the creeps. He reminds me of this old lady that lived in my apartment complex. She was always getting ready for this imaginary date. Putting on the same dress, cooking the same dinner, and then crying on the kitchen table when no one showed.
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's horrible, Phil. What happened?
Phil Blauer: Oh, it turned out alright. I told the landlord she had been breeding rats in her apartment and got her evicted. I wasn't creeped out anymore after that.
Yolanda Ando: Bower taking off that priest's robe. He's got on thos white spandex shorts, with a black cross on each side. On the back, "Bower" with a golden cross for the "t".
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And from Massena, Quebec City, Canada; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 194 pounds...'MINISTER' MARTY BOWER!!!"
(The Key Arena boos, and then "Bump-N-Grind" by R.Kelly plays. The boos are replaced with squeals from the ladies in the audience. Lucius Morgan and Tarrasque come out to the ring. Tarrasque is chewing on a very rare cooked rack of lamb. Vastrix walks out with the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team title belt strapped around his waist)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix made The Warhammer Corporation five time Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Champions at Palm Springs Punishment. Now he hopes to win his first Hardkore singles title.
Phil Blauer: And I hope to land some Vastrix run-off booty when we go out on the town tonight. He's gonna say I'm his dying Uncle.
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's sick, Phil.
Phil Blauer: No, sick won't even get you a handjob most of the time. But dying can get you anal if you play your cards right and really turn on the waterworks. Check this: (starts crying) "I...don't...wanna...die. Just...hold...me."
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hmm, not bad.
Yolanda Ando: Jeremiah Vastrix wears a form fitting black bodysuit with a porcelain mask.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And accompanied to the ring by his bodyguard, Tarrasque; and his manager, Lucius Morgan; From Hong Kong, China; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 165 pounds; He is the Tallest Man in all of China and One Third of the HARDKORE WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...'GOD'S GIFT' JEREMIAH VASTRIX!!!"
(The crowd jeers, and Vastrix flirts with a woman in the front row. Carpenter snarls at him, and Jeremiah flinches. The Key Arena lights go dim, and a dazzling light show of red, blue, yellow, and purple lights flash over the entrance way. Gozo Shioda bursts through the entrance way curtain pumping up the crowd, pointing Vastrix, Carpenter, Syberus, and Bower in the ring and drawing his thumb across his throat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The matches this man has had for this very title have been mind blowing. The 2001 classic he had with two time champion Ace Kilcannon at the Sendai Gymnasium in Sendai, Japan is still considered one of the best Hardkore matches of all time. He won the championship with a crucifix ganso bomb just shy of the time limit expiring.
Yolanda Ando: Gozo Shioda is dressed in red tabis, a blood red pair of silky, baggy ninja pants with gold fancy trim going up the sides, and a long black sash is wrapped around his waist. Covered in a traditional japanese tattoo body suit, his long black hair tied back in a pony-tail.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And from the Iga Province of Japan; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds...GOZO SHIODA!!!"
(The audience cheers wildly, and Gozo Shioda hops around, ready for the match to start. Uranium 235's cover of "Spin Me Right Round" and the fans blow the roof off of The Key Arena. Eerie Von and Makoto Jupiter step out)
Makoto Jupiter: "5...4...3...2...1!"
(Tuxedo Mask steps out, slim, trim, ripped and jacked! The crowd gives him an Oprah audience reaction)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tuxedo Mask lost all that weight? How? Atkins?
Phil Blauer: God, I hope not. If I had one more 300 pound man tell me how I needed to watch what I was eating, as he polished off his third steak...
(Tuxedo Mask walks over to the girl Vastrix was talking to and hands her a rose. She blushes and hugs Tux tightly. Vastrix turns red and begins screaming obscenities over the ropes at Tux on the floor)
Yolanda Ando: As his name implies, Tuxedo Mask is wearing a tuxedo...and a mask.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And accompanied to the ring by his bodyguard, Eerie Von; and his manager, Makoto Jupiter; From Tokushima, Japan; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 190 pounds (the audience applauds his weight)...TUXEDO MASK!!!"
(The Key Arena gives Tuxedo Mask a standing ovation, chanting "TUX!! TUX!! TUX!! TUX!! TUX!! TUX!!" Then “Glory” by Peter McEvilley plays and the fans cheer some more for the returning Devon Stevens. The fans chant "Welcome Back! Welcome Back! Welcome Back! Welcome Back! Welcome Back!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: And here comes two time Hardkore America TV Champion and former Hardkore World Light Heavyweight title. He won the Light Heavyweight Match in a nail biter of a contest with Bobby Nowa at McNichols Arena in Denver in 1997. He defeated him with that Zero Grav leg drop. He proudly held that title for 7 months before being pinned with a Japanese Ocean bomb by Ace Kilcannon at the old Great Western Forum in LA.
Phil Blauer: He eventually teamed up with his hated enemy, Bobby Nowa to win the Rotterdam Wrestling Superstars European Tag Team titles. His most famous feud was with the fans in Cleveland. Because of his proud Cincinatti heritage, they would chant "{Mongo Edit: Fuck Off} from 'Natti" until their throats were hoarse.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Which they would promptly quench with some cheap domestic beer.
Yolanda Ando: Devon Steven comes to the ring with a black leather jacket with some black, semi-baggy jeans with dark red trim and black boots. He has some dark red MMA-style gloves and black fishnets on his forearms.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And from Cincinatti, Ohio; Standing 6 feet even; Weighing 217 pounds, Making his Hardkore Return...DEVON STEVENS!!!"
(The crowd gives him a huge pop and continues to chant "Welcome Back! Welcome Back! Welcome Back! Welcome Back! Welcome Back!" Then "Homicidal" by Bad Luck 13 Riot Extravaganza begins playing and The Key Arena rocks with boos)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The fans not anticipating Lucifer Jones' entrance but Gozo Shioda certainly is, as he rubs his hands together, eagerly.
Phil Blauer: Where is he? Come on, we got 10 matches tonight and we're running extremely heavy! He's gonna wind up making them kill the promo for The "Doctor" Phil Show. I have Heath Ledger!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Who?
Phil Blauer: Hey, he was huge after the Patriot! HUGE! He's just in a rut. Don't eyeball me McMannon, I'll smack ya back to the motherland with some shamrocks stuffed up your ass!
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Homicidal" continues to play but no Lucifer Jones...
Phil Blauer: Like who the hell have you ever gotten on this show?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nancy Reagan.
Phil Blauer: ...(pouts)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tux walks over to Carpenter and slaps him!
(Fans "Ooooh", and Carpenter looks back with a mask of rage. Tux gulps. Carpenter pimp slaps Tux back! Syberus knees Devon Stevens in the stomach)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ron Reid has decided to stop waiting for Lucifer Jones and signals for the bell. "God's Gift" Jeremiah Vastrix powerbombs Devon Stevens!! Meanwhile, Carpenter stalks Tuxedo Mask as he backs into a corner. Tux tries to kick Carpenter but he catches Tux's foot.
(Audience boos, as Tux hops on one foot pleading for mercy. Carpenter nods his head, and Tux uses the momentary destraction to enzuigiri kick him! The Key Arena applauds)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tuxedo Mask climbs to the top rope, but Gozo Shioda shakes the ropes and crotches Tux on the top turnbuckle!
Phil Blauer: Too bad. He had just gotten skinny enough to use that part of his anatomy. The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter gut wrench superbombs Tuxedo Mask!!!
(Audience applauds the move as Ron Reid slides into position)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tuxedo Mask gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix and Gozo Shioda double irish whips Devon Stevens into the ropes, but Stevens hops onto the middle of the second rope and asai moonsault body presses both of them!!
(The crowd gives Stevens another round of applause. "Minister" Marty Bower pulls Vastrix's head into his legs, then chicken wings both of his arms)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Marty Bower pulls his former tag team partner up into a cdouble hammerlock backbreaker!! Syberus kicks Gozo Shioda in the ass. The fans boo what is a real show of disrespect to one of our Hardkore legends. Tuxedo Mask catches Gozo looking with a reverse rollover headlock cradle!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Gozo Shioda gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tux gets back to his feet and gets popped in the face by Devon Stevens with a Inazuma leg lariat!
Phil Blauer: Still, it's better than getting pooped in the face. Believe me.
Yolanda Ando: He's right, Guillermo.
Guillermo O'Bannon: ...ok. "God's Gift" Jeremiah Vastrix stomps his heel into Tux's mouth!
Phil Blauer: If your wrestling Sting, you always went to the knee. If your wrestling Tux, go for the looks.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix turns around into a standing dropkick from Carpenter. Gorgeous execution by the younger brother of HPWA star Pheonix. Marty Bower applies a double armlock STF to Vastrix, the man he tagged with in San Francisco.
Yolanda Ando: Alot of us meet men in San Francisco that we never see again. It's part of the rules. A momentary indescretion for a lifetime of memories.
Phil Blauer: Yeah.
(Bower pulls up on Vastrix's bridged arms, while Ron Reid checks in for the submission. Gozo Shioda runs into the ropes and takes Carpenter down with a flying head scissors)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. Shioda chains that head scissors into a triangle choke! Mike Peters enters the ring to see if Carpenter wants to submit, while Ron Reid is busy tending to Jeremiah Vastrix's tapping out needs.
Phil Blauer: So what do you think happened to Lucifer Jones?
Guillermo O'Bannon: If I had to guess, I'd say it probably has something to do with the man running around and masquerading as him. He probably got to him before the match.
Phil Blauer: It figures. I have someone running around here with a Phil Blauer mask on. He runs into the ladies bathroom and waits for them in their cars.
Yolanda Ando: I've seen that guy! He was in the women's locker room sniffing panties and masturbating feverishly.
Phil Blauer: That's exactly what I'm talking about! It's an epidemic I tell you!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus bashes Bower in the back of the head with a forearm smash to break that double armlock STF. Meanwhile, Carpenter is turning three shades of red from lack of air.
(Tuxedo Mask backflips off the top rope into a shooting star X factor on Marty Bower!! The crowd cheers and begins chanting "TUX!! TUX!! TUX!! TUX!! TUX!!" Shioda tries to squeeze as much air out of Carpenter's sides as he can with his legs, while he clamps down on his windpipe with his powerful forearm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter reaching out for the ropes, but Shioda rolls him onto his other side, and continues to squeeze the life out of him. Jeremiah Vastrix knife edge drops Shioda in the ribs, breaking the triangle choke on Carpenter.
(Devon Stevens climbs out to the apron and slingshots himself on to the middle of the top rope. He comes off with a springboard dropkick to Tuxedo Mask!! The crowd comes alive and chants "DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter gets underneath "Minister" Marty Bower's legs and lifts him up into an electric chair. Bower doesn't like where this is going, and Carpenter drops him facefirst into an electric chair bomb!! Syberus karate chops Gozo Shioda across the chest.
(Syberus cracks Mr. Shioda with several more chops. Carpenter gets on top of Bower's back and applies his kataha-jime crippler crossface)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter trying to choke out the good reverand with his Death Row finisher!! Bower turning red from lack of oxygen, as Carpenter uses those powerful arms to pull up on his neck and head. Meanwhile on the other side of the ring, Tuxedo Mask comes up from behind the stunned Shioda and atomic drops his groin on the top rope!
(Bower reaches his hand out for the bottom rope, Ron Reid's shirt, Carpenter's metal goalie mask, anything. Carpenter grunts and yanks up on Marty's head & throat as hard as he can. Tuxedo Mask climbs up to the second rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tuxedo Mask grabs Shioda by the hair and slaps him a few times across the face! He jumps off the second rope and dropkicks the perched Shioda off the rope to the floor below!!
(The fans pop for Tux, but inside the ring, Marty Bower can take no more of The Death Row and taps out!! The audience boos Carpenter)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Once again, "Minister" Marty Bower taps out. In Palm Springs, it was to The Brunomission. This time it was to The Death Row.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 9 minutes 16 seconds; 'MINISTER' MARTY BOWER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon Stevens gets a running start and leaps over the top rope into a Shinkansen elbow smash to Gozo Shioda!!
(Both men smack into the railing with a sickening clang! The audience chants "DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!!" Inside the ring, "God's Gift" Jeremiah Vastrix presses Tuxedo Mask over his head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix hits an ace crusher out of the presslam on Tux!! The ladies represent with a loud pop.
Phil Blauer: I think that was for me. I just ran my comb through my hair. Chicks dig seeing the do in action.
(Devon Stevens takes a swing at Gozo Shioda, but he ducks and belly to back suplexes the back of his head onto the steel ring steps!! The fans wince at the sound ricocheting through The Key Arena. A man in the front row suddenly takes off his fake beard and pulls his hooded sweatshirt off to reveal a a faded and well worn sleaveless GG Allin t-shirt. He has some well worn combat boots on, black leather and leopard print multi-zippered tight punk style pants tucked into the boots, black fingerless gloves, and black taping going up both forearms. It's Lucifer Jones with a barbed wire bat and he hops over the railing)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones suddenly hops over the barricades from the first row seats and joins the fray wielding a barbed wire wrapped baseball bat! He's been in the front row, watching this match all night!
Phil Blauer: I though that was Fred Durst trying to dress down.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones bashes Gozo Shioda in the back of the head with that barbed wire baseball bat!! Again! He inverted facelocks Shioda...
Phil Blauer: Will we see The Yankee Cracker? Which when you think of it, is redundant.
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, Jones gives his former trainer a Fuck The Stigmata on The Key Arena floor!!!
(The audience boos, and Jones flips them off. Then flips the wrestlers in the ring off. Syberus catches a shocked and distracted Jeremiah Vastrix with a small package)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Jeremiah Vastrix kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter steps through the ropes out on to the apron, and catches Syberus getting up with a missle dropkick!
(Tuxedo Mask gets a running start and baseball slides under the bottom rope into a helicopter rana on Lucifer Jones!! The Seattle crowd pops and chants "TUX!! TUX!! TUX!! TUX!! TUX!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix rolls out of the ring and irish whips Tux into the guardrail! A group of female fans get up, and Vastrix points to a "boo-boo" that Tux caused. But instead of avenging him, the women start feeling Tux up! Vastrix is enraged and charges in with a clothesline sending Tux over the railing into the front row!
(Devon Stevens rolls into the ring and climbs to the top rope. He waits for Syberus to turn around, then nails him in the face with a Black Rain kneestrike!! Syberus drops to the mat, clutching his face and screaming)
Phil Blauer: Syberus looking like Brutus Beefcake's vacation videos there!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gozo Shioda gingerly rolls into the ring and irish whips Syberus into the ropes. He tiltawhirls him into a ganso bomb!!
(The audience chants "GO-ZO!! GO-ZO!! GO-ZO!! GO-ZO!! GO-ZO!! GO-ZO!!" Lucifer Jones rolls back into the ring and Gozo Shioda attempts to give Jones a thundering roundhouse back heel kick, but Jones ducks under it allowing the kick to smash Syberus in the face)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones gets up under the leg of Gozo Shioda, lifting him up on his shoulders and powerbombing him onto the stomach of the fallen Syberus!!
(Crowd has to give it up for that move, and begrudgingly applauds. Tuxedo Mask climbs over the railing, and Carpenter climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter corkscrews off the top rope with a twisting plancha to Tux on the floor!!
(The fans applaud that move, and Carpenter front facelocks Tuxedo Mask. Tux blocks the DDT)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tuxedo Mask F5's Carpenter's throat on the railing!! Carpenter rolls around the arena floor, coughing and trying to catch his wind, and Tux rolls back into the ring.
(Tux walks over to Devon Stevons and goes for a suplex but Devon blocks it. Steven reverses it with a fisherman's suplex but in mid-air turns it into a high angle spinebuster!! The crowd applauds Stevens liquifying of Tux's vertebrae)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix climbs to the top rope, but Syberus shakes the ropes and Vastrix is crotched on the top turnbuckle. Tux climbs to the second rope, but Vastrix slugs him with a right hand. Vastrix double underhooks Tux's arms and front flips off the top rope into a dominator!! Vastrix hits Tux's very own Moonlight Waltz!!
Phil Blauer: T.O. steals touchdown dances, God's Gift steals finishers.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 14 minutes 54 seconds; TUXEDO MASK HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!"
(Crowd boos Tuxedo Mask's elimination, and he dejectedly walks back to the locker room. Lucifer Jones retrieves his barbed wire bat and rolls back into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter lifts up Vastrix in a stalling suplex, and on the way down, Lucifer swings as hard as he can into Vastrix's stomach with that barbed wire wrapped baseball bat!!
(Carpenter looks at Jones as if to say "Thanks, man!" and Jones breaks the bat over his head!! The audience cheers the betrayal. Syberus applies a dragon sleeper on Carpenter)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus pulls back on the head & neck of Carpenter, as blood starts to run from the wound on the top of his head. Devon Stevens irish whips Gozo Shioda into the ropes, but Shioda ducks underneath a roundhouse kick, and goes behind Stevens. He runs him into the ropes and rolls back into a Gedo Clutch cradle!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Devon Stevens pulls Gozo back into his own cradle)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Gozo Shioda kicks out)
(Audience applauds this fast paced match and all the competitors in it. Mike Peters is checking in to see if Carpenter wants to tap out to the dragon sleeper. Carpenter gets close to the rope, so Syberus pulls him out into the middle of the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter reaches up and rakes Syberus' eyes with his nails. Carpenter gets to his feet and snap suplexes a blinded Syberus. Carpenter irish whips Syberus into Gozo Shioda who back body drops him into a belly to back piledriver!!
(The audience chants "GO-ZO!! GO-ZO!! GO-ZO!! GO-ZO!! GO-ZO!! GO-ZO!!" Devon Stevens has Jeremiah Vastrix in a front facelock then drops his feet on the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon Stevens slingshot DDTs Vastrix!! Steven climbs to the top rope. He backflips into the Zero Grav legdrop but Vastrix rolls out of the way!
(Audience boos Vastrix, while the women root for him to get up with high pitched squeals. Vastrix pulls Devon Stevens up by the hair and knees him in the back of the head. Lucifer Jones goes over to his broken bat and pulls out the barbed wire. He wraps the barbed wire around his right fist and forearm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones bashes Jeremiah Vastrix in the face with a barbed wire clothesline! Carpenter runs over and catches one for his trouble as well!
(Lucifer Jones pulls Devon Stevens up by the hair and irish whips him into the ropes and bashes him in the face with a barbed wire clothesline!! Syberus ducks under his)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones goes into the ropes and leapfrogs over Syberus' leapfrog attempt. Syberus turns around and is bashed in the face with that barbed wire!!
(Audience boos Lucifer Jones who has now cleared the ring with multiple clotheslines. All of them lie around him, bleeding. Lucifer spots Gozo and chokes him with the barbed wire)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones making Gozo Shioda into a macabre sight with that barbed wire! A bloody Devon Stevens grabs Vastrix by the head in an inverted facelock and flips over into a diamond dust!!
(Lucifer Jones gets a sadistic grin over his face as he yanks that barbed wire into his former sensai's throat! Carpenter irish whips a bleeding Syberus into the ropes and tiltawhirl backbreakers him! The crowd boos)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix & Carpenter double irish whips Syberus into the ropes and take him out with a double karate chop! Vastrix inside cradles Syberus!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Syberus kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter pulls Syberus up and scoops him up onto his shoulder, but Syberus floats behind him with a reverse DDT!!
(Lucifer Jones finally lets Gozo Shioda go and climbs up to the top rope. Devon Stevens shakes the ropes and crotches Lucifer on the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon Stevens climbs to the second rope but Jones blocks whatever Devon was going to do with a vicious thumb to the eye, then gives him the London Air Raid off the top turnbuckle to the outside onto...us???
Phil Blauer: ABANDON DESK!!!
(Stevens and Lucifer crash through the announce table, sending Phil and Guillermo running like roaches with the light on!! The fans chant "HO-LY SHIT!!! HO-LY SHIT!!! HO-LY SHIT!!! HO-LY SHIT!!! HO-LY SHIT!!!" Inside the ring, a blood drenched Gozo Shioda irish whips Vastrix into the ropes and takes him down into a drop toe hold. Shioda holds onto the leg, and springs onto Vastrix's back with a crossface chicken wing STF! Vastrix screams out in pain as Shioda pulls up on his head & arms! Ron Reid checks in to see if Vastrix wants to submit and he looks close to. Syberus hovers over Vastrix's face and bludgeons him with right hands while he's trapped in the STF. The furious punches are opening up the cut over Vastrix's eye, making blood seep through the eyeholes of his porcelain mask. Lucifer Jones is finally up and rolls Devon Stevens into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: ...ok, I think we're on. Fans, Lucifer Jones used the hurling body of Devon Stevens to destroy our announce position, but we're back on. Inside the ring, you have Gozo Shioda and Syberus pairing up to make Jeremiah Vastrix a bloody mess!
(Ron Reid checks in to see if he wants to tap out, and Vastrix holds up his good arm to tap but holds back. Lucifer Jones inverted facelocks a blood soaked Devon Stevens)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer lifts Devon up into a inverted suplex and then wrenches his neck around into The Dog's Bollocks brainbuster!!!
(Fans boo, as Lucifer Jones makes a confident cover)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 21 minutes 23 seconds; DEVON STEVENS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: We've gotta go to break!
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Apr 20, 2005#38
Hardkore World becomes just that when Hardkore Northeast returns in Cleveland!
Chaos In Cleveland:
From the CSU Convocation Center in Cleveland, Ohio.
Hardkore Northeast Tri~State Championship Tourney:
Kilroy Evans vs. Kid Styles
Johnny Reavis Vs. ???? (RHIII has a special opponent lined up for Mr. Reavis, only Johnny wont know it until match time)
Adrian Tanner Jr Vs. Phoenix
Pagan Vs. The Rising Sun
Pedro “El Gallo” Santiago Vs. Trine
The Icon Vs. Reginald P. Packer
Also, Hardkore Northeast owner Robert Hunglestein III will have a special announcement, most likely involving the stripping, and firing of the Northeastern Champion Soutter…
Contact RH3 to join Hardkore Northeast!
(Fade back to the Key Arena, where Gozo Shioda releases the crossface chicken wing STF, and pulls Vastrix up. He irish whips him, but Jeremiah reverses the irish whip and sends Shioda into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Welcome back fans. It's been crazy here! Vastrix follows him in and baseball slide kicks Shioda's calves, tripping him and sending him out of the ring! Carpenter climbs to the top turnbuckle and corkscrew dropkicks Shioda into the railing!!
(Crowd applauds this classic match. Lucifer Jones irish whips Jeremiah Vastrix into Syberus who drives Vastrix's bloody face into the canvas with a flapjack! Vastrix's porcelain mask is shattered. Carpenter rolls Gozo Shioda onto the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter attempts to suplex Shioda off the apron, but Shioda blocks it with his calf. Shioda reverses the suplex into a piledriver off the apron!!!
(The audience cheers wildly at the site of Carpenter's skull drilling the concrete! The cut at the top of Carpenter's head leaves a large smear on The Key Arena floor. Lucifer Jones is hunched over in the corner, fiddling with his hands)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix staggers up to his feet, and Lucifer Jones throws fire into God's Gift's face!!! The women of Seattle gasp, and Vastrix staggers back into Syberus who single underhook Pure Confidence DDTs him!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 23 minutes 36 seconds, 'GOD'S GIFT' JEREMIAH VASTRIX HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!"
(Lucius Morgan & Tarrasque run over to Jeremiah Vastrix and pour bottles of water on his face. They then press wet towels on the burned areas and help him out of the ring area. Gozo Shioda rolls into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: And then there were four. Carpenter, Gozo Shioda, Lucifer Jones, and Syberus are all that remain. Shioda lifts Syberus up on to his shoulders, then runs into the center of the ring for a death valley driver!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Syberus kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones takes that strand of barbed wire and sits on Syberus' back.
Phil Blauer: This can't be good.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones puts Syberus in that nasty face ripper camel clutch, but adds to the effect by wrapping the barbed wire around his face!!
(Crowd gasps in horror as the barbed wire cuts into Syberus's face. Lucifer Jones is screaming at him "You'll fuckin' remember my name now, motherfucker!!! LUCIFER FUCKIN' JONES!!!" A bloody Carpenter climbs onto the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter comes off the top with a diving elbow smash to an unsuspecting Gozo Shioda! He climbs to the top again, but this time Mr. Shioda rolls out of the way of his moonsault!!
(The audience applauds and Shioda measures Lucifer Jones in the face with the stiff thrust kick that can be heard throughout The Key Arena)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Two of the bloodiest guys in the ring, Syberus & Gozo Shioda go for a double suplex on Lucifer Jones. He counters it by flipping over the both of them, grabbing them both in an over the shoulder neckbreaker position, and gives them both the Yankee Cracker at the same time!!!
(The audience boos Lucifer Jones, and cheers when Carpenter hits him with a running DDT! Carpenter rolls Jones over and covers him)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Lucifer Jones kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter pulls Syberus up by the hair, but Syberus is playing possum, and comes up with an uppercut to his face. Syberus dumps him over his head into a northern lights suplex!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Carpenter gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gozo Shioda climbs up to the top rope. he comes off with a huracanrana but Lucifer Jones reverses it into a sitdown jumping ganso bomb!! He holds the legs!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: And Lucifer Jones eliminates another one!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 26 minutes 54 seconds; GOZO SHIODA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!"
(Carpenter doesn't allow for alot of celebration from Lucifer Jones with a cobra clutch suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus catches Carpenter from behind and runs him into the ropes for a roll up!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Carpenter gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones inside cradles Syberus! Ron Reid slides into position, but Jones puts his foot on the ropes for leverage!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Syberus kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones front facelocks Syberus and climbs to the second rope. Carpenter climbs through the ropes out to the apron. Jones goes for a tornado DDT but Syberus reverses it into a spinebuster! Carpenter comes off the middle of the top rope with a springboard shooting star leg drop to Lucifer Jones!!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr...(Lucifer Jones kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter bashes Lucifer Jones in the face with his metal hockey mask with several headbutts until Jones has a bloody nose! Carpenter sets him up for a russian leg sweep but Jones rolls forward into a stepover cradle! He's got a hold of the tights!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr...(Carpenter kicks out)
(Jones slaps Carpenter hard across the face, then spits in his face. He grabs Carpenter by the ears and screams "Piss off, you cunt!" in his face. Lucifer then pulls Carpenter up and irish whips him into Syberus)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus catches Carpenter with a powerslam!! He hooks Carpenter's leg!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Carpenter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus catches Lucifer Jones running at him and drop toe holds him over into a single leg boston crab! Syberus yanks Jones' leg back towards his head.
(Carpenter begins laying the boots to Jones' face, wiping the spit off his mask, disgusted. Ron Reid checks in to see if he wants to tap but Lucifer refuses)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A bleeding Syberus releases the single leg and pulls Lucifer Jones up by his mohawk. He irish whips him into the turnbuckles. Syberus irish whips Carpenter into a stinger splash at Carpenter in the corner!
(Carpenter climbs to the second rope and monkey flips Lucifer Jones across the ring! Carpenter gets on the top turnbuckle, but Syberus pulls his leg down and crotches him on the top rope! Carpenter is crotched on the top strand, and Lucifer Jones comes over and full nelsons him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones release dragon suplexes Carpenter from that very uncomfortable position!! He smacks Syberus one right between the eyes. Syberus ducks another one and fireman's carries him over into a sleeper hold.
(Lucifer Jones struggles to get out but Syberus gets position advantage over him, and pushes him down to the mat. Syberus turns it into a European three quarter nelson, with Jones facedown on the mat. He wrings Jones' wrist while pulling up on his head)
Phil Blauer: Syberus trying to make that european three qaurter nelson as painful as possible, after what Jones did to him with that barbed wire.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter is standing on the top rope and swanton bombs on top of both Jones & Syberus!! Carpenter pulls Syberus up and powerbombs him hard into the mat!!
(Lucifer Jones comes from behind Carpenter and lifts him up into an electric chair. Jones then drops him in a Japanese ocean bomb!! Carpenter rolls into the corner and Lucifer Jones begins lying the boots to him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones really disrespecting Carpenter, bludgeoning him in the corner with rights and lefts. He kicks Carpenter in the face. He picks Carpenter up and sits him on the top turnbuckle. Syberus climbs to the second rope and superplexes him!! Syberus floats over into a pin!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Carpenter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus front facelocks Carpenter and then drops his stomach onto his knee. Lucifer Jones double underhooks his arms, and lifts him up onto his shoulder. The White Chapel Horror drives him down into a piledriver from that height!!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones has eliminated three men!
Phil Blauer: Well he did get here about 10 minutes late.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 35 minutes 45 seconds; CARPENTER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter nearly 36 minutes in there and the Seattle fans giving him a standing ovation on the way out. Lucifer Jones and Syberus now circling one another. Syberus hits him hard in the guts with a punch, then an elbow shot to his diaphragm. Syberus finishes him off on his knees with a side kick to the head.
(Lucifer grabs him by the front of his trunks, driving him facefirst into the turnbuckle. He waistlocks Syberus and drops him on the top of his head with a snap backdrop driver!! The Seattle crowd boos)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones grabs Syberus by the legs and lifts him up into a wheelbarrow powerbomb!! Jones rolls him over into a boston crab!
(Jones sits on his back as Syberus bleeds a pool underneath his face. Lucifer screams over his back, "Tap, ya tit!!" Syberus grabs onto the bottom rope and Ron Reid forces Lucifer Jones to release the crab)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones lets go of the crab and runs into the ropes, he soccer kicks Syberus in the face while he's on his hands and knees!
Phil Blauer: Over there, they call it football. But they don't have a word for dental hygiene.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones climbs the top turnbuckle and comes off with a plancha, but Syberus reverses it with a backbreaker. He grabs Jones' legs and returns the favor with a boston crab. He gave Lucifer Jones a single leg version earlier in the match, now giving him the full treatment.
(Syberus plants his feet and yanks back on Jones' legs. Jones crawls over to the ropes, but when he gets close, Syberus walks him back out to the center of the ring and reapplies it! The Key Arena applauds his predicament)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus releases the boston crab and pulls Lucifer Jones up by the mohawk. He sets him up for a suplex but drops him into a brainbuster!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Lucifer Jones kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus irish whips Jones into the corner, he rushes in with a clothesline, but Jones drop toe holds him facefirst into the second turnbuckle! Lucifer Jones applies and STF!!
(Ron Reid checks in and some fans have picked a side and are urging Syberus not to tap out. Jones changes his mind and switches it up into a buffalo sleeper)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones rocking back on the buffalo sleeper but Syberus not giving it in! He pulls him up to his feet in a chicken wing crossface and drops him back, releases him, and catches him with a hammerlock neckbreaker he calls The NeckBuster!!
(Lucifer Jones climbs to the top turnbuckle and measures Syberus, framing him with his hands. The White Chapel Horror comes off with a leg drop across Syberus' face!! The crowd boos while Jones makes a cover)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Syberus thumbs Lucifer Jones in the eye)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus gets to his feet and slaps Jones hard across the face! Jones gets up and charges Syberus and gets caught in a flapjack!
(Syberus waits for Jones to get to his feet, then runs into the ropes. He dropkicks Jones in the ball of his kneecap. Jones leg crumples underneath him, and Syberus spinning toe holds him. He smiles in Jones face and then drops backwards into a figure four leglock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus sitting up and dropping back down, trying to make that figure four agonizing. Lucifer Jones reaches out for the ropes but nothing's close. Syberus sits up and clamps down on Jones' twisted legs.
Phil Blauer: Syberus has been softening Jones' leg up for the entire match for this move!
(Lucifer Jones turns the figure four over and then it's Ron Reid asking the crimson masked Syberus if he wants to submit. Syberus is forced to release Jones' legs and crawl away)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones limps over to Syberus and pulls his head into his legs. He lifts him up into a crucifix, and limps over to the ropes where he deposits Syberus into the guardrail!!!
(Fans react with disbelief and give both men a huge pop. Lucifer Jones limps down to the floor and lifts Syberus up into an atomic drop, then runs his groin into the corner post! Syberus eyes cross)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones german suplexes the back of Syberus' head into the guardrail!! Ugh, did you hear the sound of Syberus' skull hitting that steel?
Phil Blauer: (listening to his headphones, singing) "Hold the line...Love isn't always on time!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones coming over here and...hey!! That's mine! (Lucifer glares at him) But I'm almost done...
(Jones drinks the rest of Guillermo's Killian's Irish Red and then smashes the business end of it over Syberus' head!! Blood flows freely from two new cuts over Syberus' eye)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer taking the glass shard and stabbing it into Syberus' forehead!! He gets that sadistic grin back and jabs it into Syberus' arm over & over.
(Jones takes a hand and swipes it across Syberus' forehead. He licks the blood off of his fingers and laughs maniacally)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones turns around and Syberus spears him into the apron! Syberus goes nuts battering a trapped Jones with a mad flurry of punches & chops! He knees Jones in the kidneys then pops him in the face with a stiff kick to the cheek.
(Syberus sets Jones up and vertical suplexes his back across the railing!! Syberus looks as if he's been dipped headfirst in blood as he rolls back into the ring. After laboring for several moments, Syberus climbs out of the crowd and back up to the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones headbutts Syberus in the groin and pulls his feet out from under him. He arranges Syberus so his head's hanging off the apron, and goes and gets a chair.
Phil Blauer: This will do nothing to further these guys' relationship.
(Lucifer Jones winds back and brains Syberus in the face with the chair so bad, he flips down to the arena floor!! The fans boo)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The White Chapel Horror just about caved Syberus' skull in with that chair!
Phil Blauer: That chair is now dented and covered in English blueblood!
(Jones rolls Syberus back into the ring, who's hair & scalp are soaked with blood. It drips down his face like a faucet. Jones sets him up for a cradle suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones drops Syberus headfirst with a fisherman's buster!! He links it into a butterfly submission hold!
Phil Blauer: Jones sits back on Syberus's head & arms as Syberus adds buckets of DNA to the canvas there.
(Syberus shakes his head "no" as Ron Reid keeps begging him to quit. The fans are on their feet, rooting Syberus on. Jones becomes frustrated and says "Fuck all" and releases Syberus. He limps through the ropes out to the apron, waiting for Syberus to get up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones comes off the middle of the top rope with a springboard tornado DDT!!
(The impact makes Syberus to bounce back up to his knees, then falls facefirst to the canvas! Jones springs onto him in a pinning position)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr...(Syberus gets his foot on the rope)
(The Key Arena gives both men a standing ovation, as they lie side by side, completely exhausted. Lucifer Jones gets to his feet first and pulls him up for a suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: But Syberus floats over behind Jones and runs him into the ropes and rolls back into a backroll press!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr...(Lucifer Jones rolls his shoulder up)
(The crowd gives another round of applause for the close fall. Jones is back up but Syberus is waiting for him with a swinging neckbreaker)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus irish whips Jones into the ropes and clotheslines him. Jones gets up and Syberus whacks him with another clothesline, that sends Jones down to one knee. Syberus kicks Jones in the face to send him to the mat.
(Syberus climbs to the top rope, with rubbery legs. He comes off with a devastating elbow drop to Jones' broken nose!! The crowd gives Syb a huge pop, as he lays an arm across Lucifer Jones)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr...(Lucifer Jones thrusts his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus pulls Jones up with a chicken wing, but Lucifer pops him with a back elbow. Jones irish whips Syberus into the ropes and tiltawhirl facefirst slams him!!
(Audience applauds the match, and Jones applies a wakigatame armbar! Syberus leaves large blood stains on the mat where Lucifer presses his face into the canvas)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus in a bad spot with Jones pushing up on his arm with that wakigatame?
Phil Blauer: That what?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones switches it up into a Stranglehold Alpha!!
Phil Blauer: A who?
(Lucifer Jones pulls up on Syberus' arm with his head at such an angle that he's bleeding all over his leopard print multi-zippered pants. Syberus yelps out in pain with each yank)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones grabs him by his legs again and this time gives him a wheelbarrow german suplex with a bridge!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Syberus rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones fireman's carries Syberus up onto his shoulder but Syberus rolls him back into a crucifix cradle!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Lucifer Jones rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus rolls it into a jigoku-jimi choke!!
Phil Blauer: Guillermo, I think I may be having a stroke, all your words are sounding slurred...I'm all clammy. Feel my hands...
Guillermo O'Bannon: Get off me, Phil! Syberus rolls onto his back, and Lucifer Jones falls to his side. These two are exhausted. Ron Reid raises Lucifer's arm, and it falls to his side.
(The ref lifts his arm again, and again it falls to his side. Syberus clamps down on Jones throat and Ron Reid lifts his arm again)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Syberus is forced to break the jigoku-jimi)
Phil Blauer: Syberus' shoulders were pinned to the mat there, otherwise this match could have been over!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus lifts Jones up in a suplex but then drops it into a neckbreaker! Syberus shakily climbs to the top rope from inside the ring, on rubbery legs. He backflips into a moonsault but there's no water in the pool!!
(The fans boo as Syberus rolls around, clutching his abdomen. Lucifer Jones grabs him with an inverted facelock, and then lifts him up into a hanging inverted vertical
suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus rolls up out of The Dog's Bollocks into The Highlight Cutter!!! He grabs Lucifer Jones up into a single underhook and hits The Pure Confidence DDT!!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Unbelievable! After close to an hour, wrestling with seven of Hardkore World's best wrestlers, Syberus emerges as the new Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Champion!!
(“This Celluloid Dream” by AFI plays through The Key Arena as the audience gives both men a standing ovation for an easy match of the year candidate. Syberus scoots back into the corner and leans against the bottom turnbuckle trying to catch his breath)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 52 minutes 47 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH; AND NEW HARDKORE WORLD LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...SYBERUS!!!"
(Ron Reid hands a bloond drenched Syberus the heavy light heavyweight title belt, and he slings it over his shoulder, while still slumped in the corner)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones grabs a bloody and helpless Syberus in an inverted facelock.
Phil Blauer: He wasn't so helpless he couldn't pin him two seconds ago.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Before Lucifer can hit The Dog's Bollocks, that masked man slides into the ring...but Lucifer's ready for him!! He drops Syberus and lights the masked man up with rights and lefts! He pulls the masked Jones up into a sit out ganso bomb!!
(The masked Lucifer Jones rolls around dazed, as the real Jones lays the boots to him. He hocks a big loogie and spits on him and then grabs the house mic)
"The White Chapel Horror" Lucifer Jones: "You see this!? You see the carnage I left in me wake!? Now stop hiding behind MY bloody mask and show yourself, you stinkin' coward!"
(The crowd roars in anticipation as Lucifer Jones slaps him across the face. He unlaces the back of the red mask and pulls it off)
Guillermo O'Bannon: It's Dan Stein!! Dan Stein has been masquerading around as Lucifer Jones?
Phil Blauer: Once he lost that game show, the rumor is he went bat shit crazy. Walks around going, "W. is for Women".
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's Ben Stein, Phil.
(The look of shock on Lucifer Jones' face turns to anger, but before he can move in, Domino runs in and drags Stein out of the ring. Lucifer Jones chases after them up the aisleway)
Guillermo O'Bannon: With that madness over with, Syberus is now all who is left in the ring with the Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Championship strapped around his waist. For twelve years, the best wrestlers in the world have competed for that title. Now Syberus will go down with names like Ace Kilcannon, Gozo Shioda, Tuxedo Mask, El Hombre Murcie'Lago, and Kentaro Korose as one of the best pound for pound wrestlers in the World!
(Camera pans over a tall steel cage. The ring crew is putting their finishing touches on it)
Guillermo O'Bannon: And now time for our main event. Last year, Hardkore World's driving force was a group known as The Un-Stable. The members included Hero, Cobryn, Robert Hunglestien III, Andrew Karnage, and Kilroy Evans. After a few months where he wasn't the center of attention, Cobryn finally betrayed his partners during a defense of their Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Titles against The Tengu Clan by hitting The Answer on Andrew Karnage. It was up to the leader, Robert Hunglestien III to defend the honor of the group. He lost his Hardkore America title and suffered a career ending back injury for his effort. Now it's up to Andrew Karnage to try and exact some revenge and hopefully win the Hardkore America Championship in the process.
Phil Blauer: Why do people get such hurt feelings when wrestlers turn on one another to break up a group? Sometimes it's for the best. Imagine if there still was a Varsity Club? A bunch of 40 & 50 year olds running around in collegiate singlets and pining for their college days over twenty years ago?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Still, it was the last time Rick Steiner was interesting.
("Black Betty" by Spiderbait plays and The Hardkore World Tag Team Champions The Miracle Violence Combination II walk down to the ring. One fan holds up a sing reading "Canseco Fears Ratting Out Karnage". The Seattle fans cheer when Andrew Karnage grabs the chainlink fence and shake it violently)
Guillermo O'Bannon: During the weeks long promo fests, Cobryn brought up the fact that while Karnage has won the Xtreme World Wrestling League Heavyweight title, the Ultra Wrestling Confederacy World title, the World Wrestling On-Line World title, IWA Deathmatch title and IWA International title along with scores of tag team titles with Kilroy; he has never won the big one.
Phil Blauer: Xtreme World Wrestling League seems pretty big. It's a title covering the entire World, of Wrestling...Xtreme Wrestling...League.
Guillermo O'Bannon: As we stated earlier, Kilroy Evans has taken advantage of Hardkore's newest regions. He's entered the Hardkore Northeast Tri-State Title Tournament. His first round opponent is Kid Styles in Cleveland.
Yolanda Ando: Andrew Karnage is wearing some black knee length basketball shorts with "AK-47" down the outsides of each leg in dark red. Dark red kneepads, and black calf high boots with red laces, and has a black elbow supporter on his right elbow.
Phil Blauer: Well, it's good to see he's well liked in the African American community.
Guillermo O'Bannon: It's more like an elbow pad, Phil.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following is the Main Event of the evening. It is a Steel Cage Match scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit; and is for the HARDKORE AMERICA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by Kilroy Evans; from Orem, Utah; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 257 pounds; He is One Half of the HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...ANDREW KARNAGE!!!"
(The Key Arena is deafening, as Kilroy Evans opens the cage door and gives a 'After you' gesture. Then "No Quarter" by Led Zepplin plays and the building gets stone silent. Then Cobryn walks out in a black silk robe that trails behind him a good four feet. The venom from the fans is evident in the soda cups & water bottles being tossed his way)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn has raised the ire of these fans with his racist comments about Bruno, as well as his recent parody of the dead pope.
Phil Blauer: Not me. My ire's fine.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I think that's the point.
Yolanda Ando: Cobryn wears regular black tights and has tanned skin. He also wears black wrestling boots, and has a large brace on his arm.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent; from Key Largo of the Florida Keys; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 250 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE AMERICA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...COBRYN!!!"
(The Key Arena rocks with boos, as Cobryn wipes his boots on the apron, and steps into the cage. Karnage grabs him by the hair and yanks him over the top rope and into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn hits Karnage in the groin and then rocks him with another punch. He backs Karnage into the ropes and pops him with a few hard chops to the chest.
(The Seattle fans "Woooo" with each one, and then Karnage returns with a few chops of his own. Karnage half nelson hammerlocks Cobryn)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage hits an Icepick Suplex!!
(The crowd roars, as Cobryn covers the back of his neck and scoots away from Karnage. Karnage will not be denied as he grabs two handfuls of Cobryn's hair and whips him hard into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage smacks him upside the head with a yakuza kick! Karnage whips Cobryn hard into the turnbuckles! Karnage hovers over him and bashes him with several vader forearms into the corner until he drops to his butt.
(Karnage bootscrapes him three to four times and finishes him off with a Facewash bootscrape! Cobryn pretends to cover his face, but sneaks a pair of brass knuckles out of his trunks)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn clocks Andrew Karnage in the face with those brass knuckles!! Karnage staggers around the ring, with a cut over his eye. Cobryn dragon suplexes Karnage!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn gets underneath Karnage's legs and lifts gim upside down into a gory special. He flips him forward into a facefirst gory driver!
(Fans boo Cobryn, who flips off a particularly rowdy fan in the front row. He pulls Karnage's head into his legs, but Karnage blocks a piledriver)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage reverses a piledriver with an alabama slammer!!
(Crowd cheers, and Karnage wipes some blood out of his eyes. He irish whips Cobryn into the ropes and belly to belly suplexes his face into the steel cage!! The Key Arena comes alive as Cobryn lolligags around the ring with some new color over his eye)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage double underhooks Cobryn's arms and lifts him up into a Tiger Buster brainbuster!!
(Karnage pulls Cobryn up in a front facelock, but Cobryn rolls out of it into a rude awakening! The fans boo as Cobryn does the "All done" gesture with his hands)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A bloody Cobryn gut wrenches him up into a ganso bomb!! He holds onto Karnage's legs.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn mounts a fallen Andrew Karnage and punches him over & over, leaving him a bloody mess. He pulls Karnage up by the hair, but Andrew ducks underneath a punch and german suplexes Cobryn!
(Karnage pulls Cobryn up in a full nelson and then dragon suplexes him! He lifts Cobryn up a third time and straightjackets his arms)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage drops Cobryn back in the Pride Cycle!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage hoists Cobryn up on to his shoulders and then running death valley drivers him!!
(Karnage grabs Cobryn by the throat and lifts him high up into the air, the crowd lovingly cheers his predictament. Karnage chokeslams Cobryn on to his knee!! Cobryn flops around, clutching his back)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage waits for Cobryn to get to his feet, and rushes him with that Nightmare Lariot, but Cobryn catches him and flapjacks his face into the steel cage!!
(Andrew Karnage's face slides down the cage. Cobryn rakes Karnage's face back & forth across the steel cage, bloodying him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn half nelsons Karnage and drops him back into a t-bone suplex!!
(Cobryn pulls Karnage up by his blood soaked hair. Cobryn swings at him with a right hand, but Karnage ducks and gives him a high angle backdrop driver!! The fans cheer)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage grabs Cobryn's arm and chicken wings it behind his back. Karnage scoops the champ up and running powerslams him onto his hammerlocked injured arm!!
(The Seattle fans chant "KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!!" as Cobryn rolls around, clutching his injured arm. Karnage pulls him up and drops him backwards into an exploder '98)
Phil Blauer: That exploder was SO 98.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage pulls Cobryn up by his injured arm, but Cobryn pulls him in and shortarm clotheslines him! Cobryn half nelson hammerlocks Karnage and delivers his own version of the Icepick Suplex!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage rolls his shoulder up)
(Fans boo as Cobryn mimics some of Karnage's mannerisms. Kilroy Evans shakes the cage in a threatening manner at Cobryn)
Phil Blauer: Ooh, that was scary. I saw Kilroy do the same thing when they closed a Baskin Robbins in Tacoma.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn pulls Andrew Karnage up into an inverted crucifix, and then runs his face into the steel cage!!
(Karnage is a sickening, bloody mess. He lies near the ropes, bleeding all over himself. Cobryn uses the cage to pull himself up to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage climbs up to the second rope and hammers Cobryn in the face several times. He drops Cobryn on his head with a black tiger bomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage drops Cobryn on his head with a head & arm Icepick Suplex 2K1!!
Phil Blauer: 2001, that's a little more current!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage gut wrenches Cobryn up on his shoulder and runs across the ring with an Origin Bomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage front facelocks Cobryn but Cobryn lifts him up into a fireman's carry. He airplane spins Karnage and then tosses him facefirst into the steel cage!! It looks like Cobryn's got a strategy and he's sticking to it.
Phil Blauer: Making me physically ill?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, that's just a sweet perk. He's trying to make Karnage such a bloody mess he'll be unable to continue. Cobryn waits for Karnage to get up, and hits him with his own Nightmare Lariot!!
(The Key Arena is deafening with boos. Cobryn runs into the ropes, as Karnage gets on his knees, Cobryn rocks him in the temple with a double kneelift. He pulls him up by his pink stained hair and irish whips him into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage comes back with another yakuza kick to Cobryn's face! Karnage applies a crippler crossface to Cobryn's arm broken by Lucifer Jones!!
(The fans are on their feet, praying to their prespective Gods that Cobryn taps out. Karnage locks a hammerlock on the arm that isn’t scissored holding it with his elbow while he reaches up to apply the chinlock. Cobryn howls in agony)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ron Reid is in position, ready for Cobryn's submission. Karnage releases The Pain Killer EX, and atomic drops Cobryn on to the top turnbuckle. He climbs to the top rope and sits down behind Cobryn, latching his legs around the top rope. He applies a kataha-jime and drops back with a spider suplex he calls The Black Market Lobotomy!!
(Crowd is leaping up & down chanting "KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!!" Karnage rolls on to his feet and covers Cobryn)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr-(Cobryn gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn gets up to his knees, but Karnage looms large over top of him. Cobryn begging now to hurt his arm anymore. Karnage smiles over at Kilroy, but Cobryn uses the momentary distraction to grab him by his trunks and pull him facefirst into the cage!!
(Cobryn steps up on to the second turnbuckle, and applies an inverted facelock. He flips forward into a diamond dust)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn steps on Karnage's face and poses for a cocky pin.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn irish whips Karnage into the ropes and tries to tiltawhirl him but Karnage falls behind him. He sambo suplexes him! Karnage applies a giant octopus. Cobryn cries out in pain, and Karnage plants his foot and pulls hard on Cobryn's injured arm!
(Ron Reid asks Cobryn if he submits. He spits out blood and curses at the ref. Karnage then rolls it over into a cradle)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage applies an STF on Cobryn! Karnage using that "naturally" enhanced arm to clamp down on Cobryn's windpipe. Cobryn reaching out with his one good arm trying to grab hold of the bottom rope.
(Fans boo as Cobryn finally gets his hand on the top rope. Reid then starts laying in the count for Karnage to break the STF. He pulls Cobryn up and sets him up for a suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn blocks the suplex and reverses it with a slingshot Tsunami Effect suplex! Cobryn sits on his back and applies a Cobryn Clutch.
(Blood runs down through Cobryn's fingers, to the mat. Cobryn yanks back on Karnage's head as Reid checks in to see if he wants to tap out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn rocking back but Andrew Karnage gets up on his hands and knees. He know stands up with Cobryn on his shoulders in an electric chair!
(Crowd applauds Karnage's feet of strength while Cobryn begs to be put down. Karnage runs and pitches Cobryn's face into the steel cage!! Karnage grabs on to the back of Cobryn's hair, but Cobryn holds onto the chainlinks for dear life)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage trying to peel Cobryn off that cage but he's not going anywhere.
Phil Blauer: Looks like you when your mother tried to take you home from the porn convention in Vegas last year.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I wasn't ready to go. I told her I would take a cab. She didn't have to hit me...
(Kilroy Evans takes a chair and smacks Cobryn's fingers from the outside. Karnage picks him up and drops him across his knee with a catatonic backbreaker!! He sits on Cobryn's back and applies a camel clutch with a cobra clutch)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Sphinx Clutch!! The crowd is on their feet!
Phil Blauer: You know, in that instance, the cobra and camel can get along.
Guillermo O'Bannon: But that ill fated road trip you took with the two of em?
Phil Blauer: ...yeah. They focused on their differences instead of what they had in common. Plus the cobra kept biting people and making them die.
(Cobryn screams of pain are drowned out by the crowd noise in The Key Arena. Karnage plants his feet and yanks back on his head & arms. Ron Reid advises Cobryn to tap or lose the use of his upper extremities)
Phil Blauer: Who the hell is Ron to advise anyone. Hey, Ron! Here's some advice, it's called laundry!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil, he can't hear you.
Phil Blauer: Yeah he can. See, he's crying a little.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Oh yeah, I'll be damned. Cobryn has a hold of those brass knuckles again and clubs Karnage one in the groin with em with his free arm!
Phil Blauer: See what listening to Reid gets ya? Your wife leaves for you for someone with a real job.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn flips Karnage over his back with a leg capture suplex!
(Cobryn inverted facelocks Karnage and steps up on to the second turnbuckle. But before he can flip over into a diamond dust, Karnage turns it into a powerslam)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage runs into the ropes and the Seattle crowd gets into a fever pitch...NIGHTMARE LARIOT!! Cobryn flips head over heels! A blood soaked Karnage collapses on top of him in total exhaustion!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr...(Cobryn gets his foot on the rope)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining."
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage must be scanning through his mental rolodex, going through his entire head dropping arsenal, trying to figure out what can put Coby away!
Phil Blauer: Looks to me like he's just blowing blood off of his face. Wait...no, he's just spitting.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage pulls Cobryn on to his shoulder in a back suplex, but before he can complete The Karnage Crush Bomb the slippery champ falls backward in an inverted facelock...The Answer!!! No!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn has outlasted The AK-47 and apparantly had The Answer to The Karnage Crush Bomb.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 20 minutes 38 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND STILL HARDKORE AMERICA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...COBRYN!!!"
(The Key Arena rocks with boos, and Cobryn raises his arm, with blood running freely down his face. He grabs the brass knuckles and gets a sadistic smile across his crimson masked face)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans doesn't like the looks of this and enters through the steel cage door! He bashes Cobryn with right hand after right hand, he grabs his head and smashes it into the steel cage!
(The crowd let out a deafening pop as Cobryn's head is bounced off the cage over & over! He begs for a little leniancy from Kilroy)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Miracle Violence Combination II double uranage Cobryn hard into the mat!!
(Andrew Karnage inverted crucifixes Cobryn up in the air, he shakes his head, begging to be put down as the fans delight in his terror. Kilroy runs off the ropes and drops him facefirst with The Bad Touch diamondcutter)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The MVC II hits Cobryn with The Inevitable Return of the Great White Dope!!
(Kilroy Evans holds Andrew Karnage's arm up, as blood runs down from several cuts on his face & scalp. The audience chants "MVC!! MVC!! MVC!! MVC!! MVC!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans and Andrew Karnage lay a beating to the Hardkore America Champion...
Phil Blauer: But Karnage was unable to do it when it counts.
Guillermo O'Bannon: In any event, in the subsequent rematches with both of these men, he's going to have to look out for the other man in the corner. Like next month when we go to New Mexico, for a barbed wire match with Kilroy Evans and Cobryn!! That's all from Seattle!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hello everyone, and this is the oft-mistaken intro segment of Hardkore America's latest show right here in the Key Arena in Seattle, Washington! I'm Guillermo O'Bannon and standing next to me is the three time Desert News Hawk winner Phil Blauer.
Phil Blauer: God, I love this place, Guillermo. The salt air, the vibrant albeit pretentious night life, the mediocre sports teams. It's nights like these that I'm glad we bought this place off the Russkies.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tonight, we have a main event, long in the making. Cobryn puts his title on the line against former stablemate, Andrew Karnage for the Hardkore America Heavyweight Title in a steel cage.
Phil Blauer: These two wrestled only one time, in Australia with Cobryn getting the win.
Guillermo O'Bannon: He'll be looking to even that score. Then we have a elimination match for what used to be one of the show stealing titles here in Hardkore World, and hopes to be again, The Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Title.
Phil Blauer: Seven men and Jeremiah Vastrix will wrestle until there is only one man left remaining...and he will be the West Coast Champion.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Right, sorta. Then we go up high in a ladder match for the Hardkore World Women's Championship. Xyrynth regained her title in a brutal falls count anywhere match in Palm Springs. The site where she won her last title. But will the Pacific Northwest be as good to her as the Coachella Valley?
Phil Blauer: Jury's out on that. I get lucky all the time in Palm Springs.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Yeah, but that's with guys. Ayame "Pheonix" Tokugawa is one of Hardkore World's most dangerous female wrestlers and can definately make Xyrynth's title reign a short one. Then it's a rematch I've been waiting for for quite a long time. In Denver, The Shootfighter and Big Bad Bill got into one of the best brawls the West Coast has ever seen. It was an I Quit match that never did, and neither man was declared the winner. Then in Palm Springs last month, The Shootfighter participated in a rouse to lift the West Coast title off of Bill by dressing like Lonewolf McNeely and switching with him somewhere along the match.
Phil Blauer: It didn't work, but somewhere I don't think The Shootfighter really cared.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Now round two of their battle and this time, both men say they're ready. Then we have the first ever King of All Monsters Match. A miniature version of Seattle will be constructed outside The Key Arena. Inside all of these buildings, will be little weapons for Death Gojira and Stan "The Tank" Wilson to use to try and kill one another.
Phil Blauer: To make sure everything worked, in rehearsal I destroyed Cleveland.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Who couldn't? Then it's enigmatic "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson taking on Cyrus Williams who hasn't been inside a ring since June 23rd 2004 in San Diego, California for the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Title Tournament. He shocked fans when he made his return to Hardkore Hall with a new attitude, and the same old belt.
Phil Blauer: Didn't shock me. He was booked to wrestle Moondog Dook that night.
Guillermo O'Bannon: (sighs) That was Cobryn.
Phil Blauer: What did I say?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then it's 7 foot Bruno, Your Canadian Hero, and The Extremist all locking up to see who is the number one contender to the Hardkore West Coast Championship.
Phil Blauer: R.C.?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, Phil. It's gotta be one of those three.
Phil Blauer: I'm sticking with R.C., that man's got initials. And initials are what matters today. Look at T.O., M.J., J.R.. If you ain't got letters, you ain't got shit.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then Lonewolf McNeely locks up with another international superstar Kilroy Evans. This will be the first match Kilroy has had since winning the Hardkore World Tag Team Title Tournament and Lonewolf McNeely's first match since losing the Taipei Death Match to Big Bad Bill, so both men have something to prove.
("Caught in a Mosh" by Anthrax plays and the audience boos. Blak Lung walks down to the ring, scowling at the audience)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung took quite a shelacking from Big Bad Bill when he was trying to meditate in front of those candles of his.
Phil Blauer: What's a Shelacking?
Guillermo O'Bannon: A level over a hiding and one below an asswhuppin. He has stated that Bill has a reciept coming, and with him wrestling Lung's partner The Shootfighter tonight, it's not hard to figure out when that's coming.
Yolanda Ando: Blak Lung wears army surpluss jungle boots, green BDU
pants, and a white tank top undershirt.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the Key Arena. Hardkore Jonnie Valentine & Hardkore America present tonight's event of wrestling excellence. Our first match of the evening is scheduled for one fall, with a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, from Accra in the Republic of Ghana ; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 190 pounds...BLAK LUNG!!!"
(The audience boos, and he menaces the audience with his trusty rusty wire hanger. Then The Key Arena falls abruptly dark. Overhead, on the tron, 3 symbols flash in and fade out slowly to the sound of a heartbeat:
<ALPHA>
<OMEGA>
<The Punisher skull>
(Over the sound system, “More Human Than Human” by White Zombie is heard starting to play. As the skull fades out, The Key Arena lights up again, and standing there is “The Punisher” Dan Stein, raising his Peacemaker in the air over his head to the crowd’s approval. His manager, Domino, stands in front of Stein, and leads him to the ring area)
Guillermo O'Bannon: He wrestled 10 men and won a barbed wire battle royal to advance to the second round of the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship Title Tournament at Palm Springs Punishment. He's won titles in HHA, IPW, CPW, ARW, & IWA: Nevada. Now he's looking to win some more here in Hardkore World.
(Stein gives Blak Lung an intense look, then deftly flips the Peacemaker halfway into his hand and gives Blak Lung a garish look while simulating a throat slash with the Peacemaker. Domino draws the admiration of fans by blowing kisses to the crowd and waving to the Seattle masses. Stein quickly flips the Peacemaker into his hand and spins the club, to demonstrate his deftness with it. Domino dutifully helps him remove his black trenchcoat)
Yolanda Ando: Dan Stein wears a simple tight black t-shirt, and plain black shorts, with black leather wrestling boots. Stein also wears black leather gloves with the fingers ripped out.
Phil Blauer: I'll give him that, that t-shirt is pretty tight.
Guillermo O'Bannon: You can count his chest hairs.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent is accompanied to the ring by his manager, Domino; Standing at 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 285 pounds...'THE PUNISHER' DAN STEIN!!!"
(The Seattle crowd cheers and starts chanting "PUN!! PUN!! PUN!! PUN!! PUN!!" Domino and Bill Kasal leave the ring, and Reid signals for the bell)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung pearl harbors Dan Stein and rolls him up into a cradle!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Dan Stein kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung double underhooks Stein's arms and drops him into a pedigree!!
(Blak Lung grabs Stein's leg and turns him over into a single leg boston crab. Lung plants his feet and pulls The Punisher's leg back towards his head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung grabs the other leg and turns it into a full boston. Ron Reid checks to see if Stein wants to make it an early night.
(Domino cries out encouragment and the audience starts their "PUN!! PUN!! PUN!! PUN!! PUN!!" chants until Stein pushes Lung out with his legs. The audience applauds and Stein small packages him with an oklahoma roll)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Blak Lung kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein gets his finger together and applies a full nelson. He uses those large arms to push Lung's head into his chest. Phil, where's your Billy Jack Haynes hat?
Phil Blauer: They wouldn't let me take it on the plane. Passengers were getting nervous I was hiding a rocket launcher underneath it. I do have "Oregon" written on my ass though.
(Stein drives Blak Lung's ass into the canvas with a full nelson bomb! He pulls Blak Lung up into a double underhook)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein butterfly suplexes Blak Lung! He scoops Lung up but Lung falls behind him into an inverted facelock. He drops the back of Stein's head on to his knee, then rams his elbow into Stein's exposed throat!
(Stein drops to the mat, and but Blak Lung pulls him back up and swings him around into a hangman's neckbreaker)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung sits on The Punisher's back and applies a camel clutch. He pulls back on Stein's head, rocking back & forth on his back.
(Ron Reid checks in but Stein continues to refuse to tap out. Blak Lung releases the camel clutch and climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein rolls out of the way of a senton leg drop off the top rope!! Stein irish whips Lung into the ropes and powerslams him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Blak Lung kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein scoops Lung up and fallaway slams him over the ropes to The Key Arena floor!!
(Audience cheers as Lung lands awkwardly on his ass on the concrete. Dan Stein rolls out of the ring and presses Blak Lung over his head. He drops Lung's throat on the guardrail)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein climbs up to the top turnbuckle...I'm a little unsure of the wisdom of going up that high.
Phil Blauer: Yeah, he's almost 300 pounds. It's like my Uncle Gino trying to get up there.
(Blak Lung gets up on the apron, and shakes the top rope, crotching Stein on the top turnbuckle! The audience boos, and Blak Lung climbs to the second rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung superplexes Dan Stein's back onto the apron!! Stein flopping around like a stunned fish, clutching the small of his back.
Phil Blauer: He looks like you having sex.
(Blak Lung rolls Stein back on to the apron, and Stein pulls his head into his legs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung piledrives Dan Stein off the apron on to the concrete!!
(Crowd boos, and Dan Stein bleeds from a gaping wound along his hairline. Blak Lung uses his time constructively and retrieves his rusty coat hanger. He wraps it around Stein's throat and ties it off at the end with a handle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung uses the coat hanger to swing Dan Stien's bloody face into the guard rail! He lifts Stein on to his shoulders in a fireman's carry, and gives him a death valley driver on the concrete!!
(Blak Lung rolls Stein into the ring, and places a chair over his face. He stands up on the apron and slingshots himself over the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein is able to avoid that slingshot arabian facebuster, and Lung lands on that chair! Stein drops the back of Lung's head on that chair with a russian leg sweep!
(Dan Stein lifts Blak Lung up into a hanging suplex, as The Key Arena lights up like day from flashbulbs until Stein drops him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Punisher hangs onto him and lifts him up for another suplex, this time dropping him with a jackhammer!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Blak Lung kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein stands over Lung and twists his head to the side with a variation of the old Demolition Smash submission.
Phil Blauer: Who would have thought a bloated mulleted version of the Road Warriors would have been better than the real ones. It's one of history's biggest upsets.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein working down Lung's neck, softening him up for his array of neckbreakers.
(Blood liberally runs down his face as Stein uses those powerful arms to crank Lung's head to the side one more time. Stein then goes for a northern lights suplex but Lung swings out on to his feet with a front facelock still applied)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung runs up the turnbuckles into a tornado DDT!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Dan Stein kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung takes that coat hanger and rakes it across Stein's eye! He then begins stabbing it into Stein's laceration, making it bleed more & more.
Phil Blauer: He's like Abdullah the Butcher on Atkin's.
(The audience boos and Blak Lung wraps the coat hanger around his fist, then fist drops the pointy end into Dan Stein's face. Stein responds with a stomach claw)
Guillermo O'Bannon: That abdominal claw making Lung bend over and Stein headbutts him. He is back to back with The Man from Ghana, and grabs his head and pulls him over onto his back into a neck stretch he calls The Final Solution.
Phil Blauer: Kinda creepy with a guy named Stein using the Final Solution.
(Ron Reid checking in to see if Blak Lung wants to submit, and he screams out refusals. Stein bounces him a little to increase the pain)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein turns it into a Twilight Hammer reverse neckbreaker! He pulls Lung up into a crotch tie, then pumphandles him up into The Reckoning!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
("More Human Than Human" by White Zombie plays and the audience cheers. Domino runs into the ring and helps a bloody Stein to his feet. He bleeds all over her outfit)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Like all opponents of Blak Lung, Stein left this ring very bloody but victorious.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 13 minutes 16 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...'THE PUNISHER' DAN STEIN!!"
(The Key Arena cheers wildly and chants "PUN!! PUN!! PUN!! PUN!! PUN!!" as Domino helps him out of the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein continuing his winning ways here on the West Coast. I'm sure he hopes they continue long enough for him to win the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament.
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Apr 13, 2005#2
Hardkore World becomes just that when Hardkore Northeast returns in Cleveland!
Chaos In Cleveland:
From the CSU Convocation Center in Cleveland, Ohio.
Hardkore Northeast Tri~State Championship Tourney:
Kilroy Evans vs. Kid Styles
Johnny Reavis Vs. ???? (RHIII has a special opponent lined up for Mr. Reavis, only Johnny wont know it until match time)
Adrian Tanner Jr Vs. Phoenix
Pagan Vs. The Rising Sun
Pedro “El Gallo” Santiago Vs. Trine
The Icon Vs. Reginald P. Packer
Also, Hardkore Northeast owner Robert Hunglestein III will have a special announcement, most likely involving the stripping, and firing of the Northeastern Champion Soutter…
Contact RH3 to join Hardkore Northeast!
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Apr 13, 2005#3
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up next we have a rematch between Lonewolf McNeely and Kilroy Evans. Their last match was for the UWA World Championship. A match many say, Lonewolf McNeely should have won.
Phil Blauer: Just Boone.
Guillermo O'Bannon: The year is 2003, and Lonewolf McNeely is named Christian Sebastian Kennedy. Kilroy Evans is the most dominating UWA World Champion in their short history. Lonewolf McNeely had Kilroy Evans in a sleeper hold, and Evans was out cold. The ref lifted Evans' arm twice, but before he could lift it a third time, Angel interfered and allowed Kilroy to roll him up for the quick pin.
Phil Blauer: Many people say Lonewolf was robbed that night. Tonight, he tries to get his money out from under Kilroy's mattress.
Guillermo O'Bannon: What are you talking about?
("In the Year of the Wolf" by Motorhead plays and The Key Arena boos. Rain leads Lonewolf McNeely down to the ring)
Phil Blauer: Rain must love it here in Seattle.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf still seemingly upset with Rain after Rain paid The Shootfighter to dress like him and pull a switch with Lonewolf so that he could win the Hardkore West Coast title. If it weren't for the eagle eyes of Mike Peters, he would be the new champ.
Phil Blauer: Peters not looking too comfortable there as Rain bores a hole through him with her eagle eyes.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I think they're closer to hazel.
Yolanda Ando: Lonewolf McNeely wears some silver leather shorts with fangs on the rear, black boots with a wolf on the sides and black fringer hanging off the sides.
Phil Blauer: I can't understand why The Shootfighter returned that $15,000 to Rain. He could buy a new CD. He'd be amazed at the music that's come out since The Mortal Kombat Soundtrack.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall and a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by his manager, Rain; from Montreal, Quebec, Canada; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 250 pounds...LONEWOLF MCNEELY!!!"
(The Key Arena boos and jeers McNeely, as Rain pushes & harrasses Mike Peters. Then "Black Betty" by Spiderbait plays and the audience leaps to their feet and cheers. Kilroy Evans walks out waving to the crowd with the Hardkore World Tag Team title belt strapped around his waist)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Miracle Violence Combination II was able to regain the Hardkore World Tag Team titles by defeating Kilroy Evans' hated rival, Death Gojira and Tuxedo Mask in a fire match at Hardkore Hall.
Phil Blauer: Terry Gordy and Dr.Death are looking up from above and smiling.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dr. Death isn't dead.
Phil Blauer: I wish you could hear yourself sometimes.
Guillermo O'Bannon: After this, Kilroy Evans is headed back to Cleveland, where he will take on Kid Styles in the first round of the Hardkore Northeast Tri-State Title Tournament.
Yolanda Ando: Kilroy's wearing a black Bloodhound Gang t-shirt, blue jeans, brown belt, and red, white, & blue wristbands.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent; From Attbury, South Carolina; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 253 pounds; He is One Half of the HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...KILROY EVANS!!!"
(Kilroy Evans stands on the second turnbuckle holding the Hardkore World Tag Team title belt high over his head. Lonewolf McNeely waistlocks Evans from behind)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf release german suplexes Evans from off of the second turnbuckle!!
(Mike Peters shoos Bill Kasal & Rain out of the ring and signals for the bell. Lonewolf cracks Kilroy upside the head with an elbow)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy stands up and is hit in the face with a spinning discus punch! Lonewolf pulls him up but Kilroy blocks a forearm smash and responds with a punch to McNeely's throat.
(McNeely backs away, holding his throat. Kilroy runs into the ropes and hits him with a leaping roundhouse kick)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans bites Lonewolf McNeely's forehead until blood gushes out of an old wound from that Taipiei Death Match in Palm Springs!
(Kilroy front facelocks Lonewolf but McNeely reverses it into a spinebuster! He irish whips Kilroy into the turnbuckles)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely follows him in to the corner with a spinning heel kick to Evans' head!
(With Evans still in the corner, Lonewolf raises one of Kilroy's arm and heart punches him. He then pops Kilroy in the face with a couple forearm smashes to the mouth)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A bloody Lonewolf McNeely backs up a little and rushes in with a rolling elbow to Kilroy's nose! Evans staggers out and Lonewolf climbs to the top rope. Kilroy turns around and Lonewolf comes off with a flying body press, but Evans catches him with a powerslam!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Lonewolf McNeely kicks out)
(Kilroy digs his fingers into Lonewolf's wound and blood gushes out everywhere. He allows McNeely to stand up, then a side kick pushes Lonewolf in to the corner)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy rushes in to the corner with a clothesline but McNeely's black fringed boot is waiting for him.
Phil Blauer: Speaking of fringed boots, what's up with Paul London? He looks like if the Village People had a spot for the Ultimate Warrior.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Speaking of London, McNeely hits a shooting star press that puts Gay Ultimate Warrior's to shame!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely irish whips Kilroy into the ropes and lifts him up by the throat and drops him with a Lo Down!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Evans is back on his feet but Lonewolf pops him with an open handed palm strike to the nose. He goes for another but Kilroy catches his arm & hangs on to it. Lonewolf tries it with a left hand, but Kilroy catches that one too. Kilroy then batters Lonewolf's bloody face over & over with headbutts!
(Kilroy Evans wipes away a trickle of blood coming from his nose, and sets Lonewolf up for a powerbomb. He lifts Lonewolf up onto his shoulder and then slams his head & shoulders into the mat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans applies a chicken wing crossface to Lonewolf McNeely. Being five inches shorter than McNeely allows him to not only wrench on the arm but pull him backwards as well.
Phil Blauer: And people say that short people should be put into work camps.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Who says that?
Phil Blauer: Me...and probably Shaq.
(Rain cries out words of encouragement as Mike Peters checks in to see if Lonewolf wants to submit. Evans pulls McNeely's wrist up towards his head & clamps down on Lonewolf's windpipe)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely takes his left arm and reaches underneath, grabbing Kilroy's leg and pulls it out from under him. Seems McNeely has picked some things up during his match with West Coast Champion Big Bad Bill.
(Kilroy Evans gets to his knees before McNeely whacks him upside the head with a shining wizard kick)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Flesh Cut! Blood's really coming out of that nose now, and Lonewolf McNeely applies a dragon sleeper. McNeely using those large arms to cut off all of the Attbury Assassin's air.
(Mike Peters in position, ready for Kilroy's submission. Rain walks up & down ringside, applauding. The audience boos. Lonewolf McNeely releases Kilroy and modifies it into a regular sleeper. A large smile crosses Lonewolf's face and Rain screams out "You got em! You got em now!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely trying to end this match the way he felt it should have ended when they wrestled for the UWA World Championship!
Phil Blauer: No Angel to save him now. Unless Rain is really Angel. But I'd figure she'd be rooting through Cobryn's locker and not out here.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mike Peters lifts Kilroy's arm and it drops! One more time, and it drops again.
(The Key Arena starts applauding, faster & faster, trying to wake Kilroy up. Peters lifts Kilroy's arm up but this time it stays up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: This match is not over yet, and Kilroy works his way back to his feet. He drops down to his knees to drive the top of his head through Lonewolf's chin!
(Kilroy Evans t-bone suplexes Lonewolf McNeely on to his head! He sets up McNeely for a piledriver)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans jumps up and piledrives Lonewolf right on his head! He fireman's carries Lonewolf on to his shoulders and then walks him over to the corner. He sits McNeely on the top turnbuckle. But McNeely swats him with a right hand, and inverted facelocks him. He flips forward into a Sands of Time!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely flips him over into an exploder '98!! McNeely climbs to the top rope, and drops a leg drop across Kilroy's face!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
(Lonewolf McNeely gets up and kicks the bottom rope in frustration as the fans get on his case. Rain tries to calm him down from the outside. McNeely wipes some blood out of his eyes and sets Kilroy up for a piledriver)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans blocks the piledriver and reverses it into an alabama slammer!!
(The Key Arena comes alive with cheers, and Kilroy Evans shakes the ropes to pump himself up. He pulls Lonewolf up and bearhugs him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans tries to squeeze the life out of McNeely for breaking his nose. Peters checks in to see if he submits, but Kilroy drops down into a spinebuster!
(Kilroy Evans pulls a bloody McNeely up and scoops him, but Lonewolf floats over and smacks him upside the head with a superkick! Rain hands Lonewolf McNeely a chair and he climbs to the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely comes off the top with that steel chair, smashing Kilroy with an atomic arabian facebuster!!
Phil Blauer: I thought he was Cherokee??
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely pulls Kilroy's head into his legs & double chicken wings both his arms. He pulls him up and Lights Out piledrives him on the steel chair!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely irish whips him into the ropes, dips down for a backdrop, but Kilroy catches him looking with a corkscrew neckbreaker!
(Audience cheers and Kilroy Evans climbs up to the top rope. He then tips over into an elbow drop across Lonewolf's face, smearing blood across his forearm)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Lonewolf McNeely kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans grabs Lonewolf by the legs and turns him over into a boston crab. Evans sits all 253 pounds on McNeely's back and pulls back on those legs.
(A small pool of blood forms underneath McNeely's face. Lonewolf crawls over to the ropes, as Rain waves him on)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf grabs hold of the ropes and Peters forces Kilroy to break it. Kilroy climbs up to the top turnbuckle, but Lonewolf shakes the ropes and Kilroy falls crotch first on the top turnbuckle! McNeely runs up and diamond cutters Kilroy off the top turnbuckle!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely pumphandles Kilroy Evans on to his shoulders and spins into a slam!!
(McNeely climbs up to the top rope, but Kilroy Evans gets up and runs over and punches Lonewolf in the stomach)
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely is keeled over by that punch from Kilroy, but he grabs Evans on the ground and drops down into a pedigree!!
(Audience boos and McNeely flips Kilroy over and pins him)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
("In the Year of the Wolf" by Motorhead plays through The Key Arena and the fa'ns boos get louder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely has erased a blemish from his record, and really smashed that nose in on Kilroy Evans.
Phil Blauer: I think he actually looks better.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 16 minutes 29 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...LONEWOLF MCNEELY!!!"
(Rain raises Lonewolf's arm, then looks disgusted as blood has gotten all over her top. The crowd boos)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely makes another big step in his rise to Hardkore World stardom!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up we have a testament to the level of action in the Hardkore Women's scene. Brandy and Tamara Sanchez team up to take on 3 time Hardkore World Women's Champion "Sexy" Anjanette Turner & newcomer Vagabond.
Phil Blauer: We know one thing about Vagabond. She works out.
("It's My Life" by No Doubt hits as a lone spotlight follows Brandy & Tamara Sanchez as they steps through the entrance and look at the crowd. Sanchez makes the Kilq sign as Brandy slowly walks down to the ring. Brandy enters the ring and stands in the middle with the same spotlight on her as she hangs her head back and basks in the spotlight on her)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandy recently lost a match to Ayame "Phoenix" Tokugawa in Palm Springs, but her record in regions like CWF Germany and UCW is impeccable. Sanchez, also had a bad night at Palm Springs Punishment. She lost her Hardkore World Women's Championship to longtime rival Xyrynth.
Phil Blauer: I'd hate to be on that ride home.
Yolanda Ando: Brandy has shoulder length brown hair in a ponytail. She wears a black spandex tights with "Brandy" across the rear and a white sport bra. Tamara Sanchez wears black hot pants with a red top with spaghetti sleeves. Her boots are red as well.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, from New York City; Standing 5 feet 6 inches tall; Weighing 120 pounds...TAMARA SANCHEZ!!! Her partner, standing 5 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing None of Your Damn Concern...BRANDY!!!"
(The Seattle crowd boos, and Sanchez flips them off. Then "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent plays and the fans cheer. Anjanette Turner and Vagabond walk out. Turner presents Vagabond, who giggles and then begins walking out to the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner lost a Cat Collar Steel Cage match to Horror Girl in Palm Springs. She looks to be recovered from her injuries from that match. Still, I definately wouldn't leave her in the ring too long if I were Vagabond.
Phil Blauer: If you were Vagabond, I'd be sweatin you like Will Smith on a paycheck.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez asai moonsault presses Vagabond & "Sexy" Anjanette Turner in the aisleway!!!
(Audience reacts with surprise and Ron Reid signals for the bell. Tamara pulls Vagabond up in a front facelock and cradles the leg)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy cradle DDTs Vagabond on The Key Arena floor!!
(Sanchez pulls Turner up by her french braid and rolls her into the ring, then climbs up on the apron. She slingshots herself onto the middle of the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez springboard bulldogs Turner's face into the mat! On the outside, Brandy Date {No Means No} piledrives Vagabond on the concrete!!
(The Seattle crowd boos, as Vagbond lies motionless on the floor. Inside the ring, Sanchez applies an STF to Anjanette Turner)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez pulls up on Sexy Anj's head as Ron Reid checks in to see if she wants to tap out already. Brandy enters the ring and runs into the ropes. Brandy baseball slide dropkicks Turner in her face while Sanchez holds her in the STF!
(Sanchez scoops Turner up for a tombstone, but Turner bridges out and turns it into her own tombstone. But Turner corkscrews it)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner irish whips Sanchez into the ropes and belly to belly neckbreakers him!
(Anjanette Turner pulls her up into a powerbomb but Sanchez flips her over into a huracanrana! The audience boos, and Sanchez tags in Brandy)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandy german suplexes Anjanette Turner!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Anjanette Turner rolls her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandy irish whips Turner into the turnbuckles. She follows her in and rams her knee in to her stomach. Brandy runs her out into the center of the ring with a bulldog!
(Brandy climbs up to the top turnbuckle from the inside of the ring. Brandy flips off with a moonsault, but Turner rolls out of the way! The Key Arena comes alive with cheers)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner lifts Brandy up in a suplex, but then drops her into a falcon arrow!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Brandy kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette pulls Brandy's head into her legs and lifted her up on her shoulder. She drops her into a powerbomb! She uses her hands & legs to lift her up for a second one!
(Turner drives Brandy's head & shoudlers into the mat a third time with another powerbomb! The crowd is cheering her on, but when Turner goes to tag in Vagabond, no one's there)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond is still unconcious on the cold Key Arena floor, from The Date {No Means No} on the floor from Brandy. So Turner's got no partner! She climbs up to the top rope, and comes off with a spinning huracanrana!!
(Brandy is dumped on her head, sits up, and then falls back down. The fans are wild about Turner's high flying move. Turner covers Brandy)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez stomps the back of Turner's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner inverted facelocks Brandy and climbs to the second turnbuckle. She comes off with an inverted tornado DDT!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Brandy kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Turner runs into the ropes, but Sanchez raises her knee into Anj's kidneys. Turner keels over and Brandy takes advantage with a DDT!
(The audience goes back to booing, and she butterflies Turner's arms. She double underhook suplexes Anj)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandy irish whips Turner into the ropes and smacks her upside the head with a savatte kick! She tags in Tamara Sanchez, and she climbs to the top rope. Turner knocks heads with her with a swandive headbutt!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Anjanette Turner kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez pulls Turner up and irish whips her into the ropes, and tiltawhirl suplexes her!
(Sanchez scoops her up and bodyslams her. She climbs up to the top turnbuckle and hits her with a senton splash)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Anjanette Turner kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez tags in Brandy, who scoops Turner up and drops her across her knee with a backbreaker.
(Sanchez steps out on to the apron, and gets a running start before shooting star pressing Vagabond on the floor)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy hits Vagabond with her 7 Year Inch finisher out on the floor!! Inside the ring, Brandy whips Turner around into a neckbreaker!
(She pulls Turner's head into her legs and piledrives her. The Key Arena boos and Brandy seductively lies on top of her with her crotch in Turner's face)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandy hit The Date {No Means No} and pins her with The Lap Dance.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!
(The "Strutter" by KISS plays and the fans jeer and boo, while Tammy celebrates outside)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The villanous Sanchez and Brandy attacked Vagabond before the match, making this a vicious double teaming on the fan favorite Anjanette Turner.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 10 minutes 13 seconds; THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH...BRANDY & TAMARA SANCHEZ!!"
(Brandy rolls out of the ring, and grabs a chair. She rolls back into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: I don't like the looks of that chair there. She lifts it up high and smashes a prone Turner on the back with it! She jabs the edge into her kidneys!
(Tammy grabs Vagabond by the hair and rolls her into the ring. Vagabond DDTs Vagabond onto the chair, as fans begin to throw garbage and debris into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy evily laughs and...Brandy just clocked her with the chair!!
(The crowd reacts with shock, and Brandy quickly pulls her head into her legs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandy Date {No Means No} piledrives her partner Sanchez's head onto that steel chair!!
Phil Blauer: Brandy has had an obsession with Tammy Sanchez for years now and it looks like it just turned ugly. I can definately relate.
(As the crowd continues to boo, Brandy sticks Sanchez's leg through the chair. She then climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandy moonsaults off the top rope onto Sanchez's leg wrapped up in that chair!!! That wakes Sanchez up out of her semi-comatose state, and she looks to have a broken leg!
Phil Blauer: All Sanchez had to do is was talk to her. Maybe tell her she was pretty.
(Sanchez rolls around the mat, crying. She clutches her leg, and pounds on the mat in agony. Brandy leaves the ring with a sadistic smile)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandy lays out "Sexy" Anjanette Turner, Vagabond, and her own partner, Tammy Sanchez, possibly ending her career here tonight!
Phil Blauer: Suddenly the winner of tonight's match between Xyrynth & Ayame Tokugawa has a lot smaller list of contenders!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up we have the continuiation of a feud that has spanned over the Hardkore regions of the West Coast, Rocky Mountains, Japan, Canada, and probably Australia & Far East if the records weren't lost in those horrible tsunamis.
Phil Blauer: I lost my mother in those waves of death. I have never forgiven God for that.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Your mother lives in Boca Raton.
Phil Blauer: And I have never forgiven God for that.
Guillermo O'Bannon: At any rate, Rally Jackson & Cyrus Williams have traded titles most notably in Canada. It was at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto, that Cyrus Williams hit The Blackout and ended Rally's Hardkore Canada Great White North Championship reign.
Phil Blauer: Who was the "new superstar" in that match to run-in and cost the champion his title only to no-show when he's finally booked?
Guillermo O'Bannon: (checks front & back of index card) I dunno, doesn't say. Probably Tonic. Outside chance it was Ryan Shaffer. That guy tickled Cody's balls more time than the girl who had him doing her homework.
("Block Rockin Beats" by Chemical Brothers plays and Rally Jackson walks out on his cell phone, a little unaccustomed to the cheers he's recieving. He tells whoever he's talking to that he'll call him back and smiles back at the applauding crowd)
Phil Blauer: Rally Jackson was the one left without a partner in San Diego. He was the one that had to scramble for a partner, almost being forced to team with The Microshocker before Eerie Von stepped up to chokeslam the Nazi's back to hell.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Actually they went back to Canada to wrestle.
Phil Blauer: What did I say?
Yolanda Ando: Rally Jackson wears a green capoeira gui with yellow trim. And don't worry ladies, (and Phil), that top's coming off.
Phil Blauer: What are you implying...oooh, it is.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, from Rio De Janiero, Brazil; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 241 pounds...'TIGERHEART' RALLY JACKSON!!!"
(The fans applaud Rally Jackson, as he loosens up the ropes. Then The Key Arena lights cut out completely. Over the PA comes a chant from the Muhammed Ali movie accompanied by a war drum beat. Intelligent white lights bounce along to the chant itself. As this happens, six young men dressed in in black t-shirts and grey athletic pants walk into the arena and roll a red carpet down the aisle, all the way to the ring)
#THE CHAMP IS HERE
#THE CHAMP IS HERE
#THE CHAMP IS HERE
#THE CHAMP IS HERE.
[The chant stops completely, as do the intelligent lights. The carpet rollers line the aisles as "Personal Jesus" by Depeche Mode begins to play.]
#REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH
[Out of the curtain first is "The Voice of Pro Wrestling" Paul Mannetti, dressed in a sharp suit. Behind him comes the cornermen, Jinn Blaze, Michael Maxwell, Bludd, Tatsuya Arakawa, and Joe Charleston, clad in grey and black velour sweatsuits with "REVIVE STRONG STYLE" written on the back. Blaze, Bludd, and Charleston all carry large towels while Arakawa & Maxwell sport a can of cold spray and a bucket of ice respectively. They begin to make their way down the aisle, past the carpet rollers.]
#Your own personal Jesus
#Someone to hear your prayers
#Someone who cares
#Your own personal Jesus
#Someone to hear your prayers
#Someone who's there
Phil Blauer: You know, Cyrus was also the innovator of us having to hear all the lyrics of a given song. Much duplicated by Creed & Slipknot lovers everywhere.
[Next comes Tom Lux, power broker and agent, dressed in an even sharper suit than Mannetti. Black coat, red shirt, black tie. He carries a briefcase. He follows the cornermen. Suddenly, a large shower of grey pyros come down from the ceiling as the first verse begins.]
#Feeling unknown when you're all alone
#Flesh and bone by the telephone
#Pick up the receiver I'll make you a believer
#Take second best, put me to the test
#Things on your chest you need to confess
#I will deliver, you know I'm a forgiver
[Finally, Cyrus Williams steps out into the arena, through the pyros. He wears a long black and grey ring robe with a hood, which he flips up once he's completely out in the arena.]
#REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH
#REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH
[Trash begins to get hurled at Cyrus as he walks down the aisle, his cocky smile never fading from his face.]
Phil Blauer: What's Cyrus been up to? Other than enjoying Marilyn Manson's failsafe covers of old 80's tunes.
Guillermo O'Bannon: After quitting Hardkore World, Cyrus Williams left the United States on excursion to Europe. He stayed out of the wrestling ring and began to schmooze with euro-trash pseudo celebrities and those that latched onto him due to his fame. Cyrus spent a year as a hedonist, spending ridiculous amounts of cash.
Phil Blauer: Most of it was earned due to alleged dealings in the Eur-Asian pornography trade.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Who told you that?
Phil Blauer: Boone. And reportedly, Shane-o is being considered to head up the new ECW wing of the already cash-hemmoraging WWE. It's gonna be just like ECW, except now everyone's 10 years older and have played out gimmicks.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus then headed out to Japan, looking to party over there. However, Cyrus Williams found himself drawn back into the wrestling business after befriending some very high profile Japanese wrestlers with ties to pop culture such as Yoshihiro Takayama, Minoru Suzuki, Masahiro Chono, and Kensuke Sasaki. Though he did not wrestle, the itch got to him. Cyrus decided that he would go back to the business he turned his back on, but now, he considers himself a bigger star than anyone in Hardkore World. Gone are the days of jean shorts, shaved heads, metal t-shirts, and hard drinking, replaced with grandiose entrances, expensive suits, and lavish accomodations. Cyrus Williams is back, armed with a sense of elitism, and the fact that he is still, in his mind, the World Champion.
#Your own personal Jesus
#Someone to hear your prayers
#Someone who cares
#Your own personal Jesus
#Someone to hear your prayers
#Someone who's there
[Cyrus makes it to the ring as the song breaks down. He climbs the ring steps as he steps in, with Lux, Mannetti, and the cornermen following him. When he enters the ring, Cyrus goes to the center of the ring and does a victory pose, with his entourage doing it's best to deflect the garbage being pelted at him.]
#REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH
[Tom Lux hands Paul Mannetti a microphone as Cyrus' grandiose ring introduction begins.]
Paul Mannetti: "Ladies and gentlemen of Seattle, WA, your city is home of many a notable achievement and accomplishment. Aside from being the end point on the longest highway in America, interstate 90, Seattle can call itself the home of overpriced coffee, idiots throwing fish in a market, a crappy baseball team, and the place where Steven slapped Irene on the Real World. In addition to that, it gave the musical world the long-forgotten genre of grunge, which gave the world some of the most awesomely gruesome suicides and brutal rapes of all time."
Paul Mannetti: "All things aside, you will be graced with the distinct pleasure of Cyrus Williams wrestling before you tonight. He has been quite handsomely to do so, as you'll notice by the 10 dollar hike in ticket prices. Yes, we did need the lobster tray in the locker room. Yes, we also needed the staff of 5 to pick out all the brown M&M's in his candy bowl."
[Cyrus' entourage nods agreeingly.]
Paul Mannetti: "Without further ado, he is the Sultan of Swat, the King of Sting, El Jefe, the Lord of England, Wales, and all commonwealths within, the Mindtaker, the Mindbender, the 14th century viscount, the president of the United States, the inventor of the Hammerlock, the inventor of the internet, the inventor of the wheel, founder of 34 prominent countries worldwide, the successor to Kofi Annan's UN chair, the new Pope, the owner of eBay, the owner of Microsoft, holds 16 different higher education degrees from 3 Ivy League schools and one community college, the taker of your daughter's virginity, the cure for all your housewives' desperations, he gets free cable when everyone else has to pay, and last but not least, holds the rights to the entire Beatles song catalogue....here is YOUR HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION.......CYRUS WILLIAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
(Everyone on the outside of the ring tosses up grey and black streamers. Everyone in the first few rows throws some popcorn and cups.Suddenly "Operation Midnight" by DJ Shadow plays and Jonnie Valentine walks out. The crowd cheers as Jonnie walks into the ring, and Valentine grabs the microphone from Paul Mannetti)
Hardkore Jonnie Valentine: "Hey Cyrus..." (sees the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship title) "Oh, there it is. (snatches the belt away from him) That's right, you had it. Blayze Bailey told me he looked for it on the mantle in the office and couldn't find it. I figured I must have left it in my other pants. But if you wanna chance to win this thing again, I'll give it to you tonight. Consider this match, the beginning of both you and Rally's return to the Hardkore World title scene. Because this is the first round of the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament, starting right...now."
(Mike Peters signals for the bell, and Cyrus slugs Rally in the face, while he's trying to take of the top of his gui)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams stiffly jabs Rally Jackson a few times, peppering his chin. He pops Rally in the face with a couple of forearms and then runs into the ropes.
(Cyrus bashes Rally in the jaw with a roaring elbow! The Seattle audience boos and Rally falls back into the corner. Cyrus grabs Jackson by one of his dreadlocks and smacks him in the face with several kawada kicks)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams steps up the ropes and blasts Rally in the side of the head with an enzuigiri! Cyrus irish whips Rally into the other corner, but Rally hops on to the second turnbuckle and backflips into a Tiger Kick!
(The Key Arena applauds, and Rally Jackson rubs his jaw where Cyrus hit him. He pulls Jackson up and flips him over into an exploder '98)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally Jackson irish whips Cyrus Williams into the ropes and follows him in with a dropkick that sends him over the top rope to the floor!
(The crowd gets louder, and Rally climbs to the top turnbuckle, waiting for Cyrus to get up. Rally backflips into a shooting star press but Cyrus moves and Tigerheart smacks concrete!! The fans wince in sympathy)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams avoided that shooting star and now has Rally in his clutches. He waistlocks Rally and release german suplexes the back of his head into the corner post!!
(The fans boo, and beg Rally to get up. He clutches the back of his neck, as blood runs through his fingers. Cyrus drags the steel ringsteps out into the middle of the arena floor, then scoops Rally up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus stands up on the steel ringsteps and tombstone piledrives him on them!!
(Rally flops forward off of the steps on to the floor. Cyrus pulls Rally up by the dreads and rolls him into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams wraps his legs around Rally's waist and applies a choke sleeper. Jackson wrapped up with one of his favorite moves.
Phil Blauer: Like the time Tom Cruise grabbed my ass and called me a dirty slut at that party I took you to.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I can't believe you wouldn't drive me home after that.
Phil Blauer: Party was just gettin started!
(Cyrus rolls onto his back and squeezes the air out of his with his legs, and eliminates the ability to get new air with that arm clamped against his windpipe. Mike Peters checks in to see if he taps out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus releases the sleeper, and pulls Rally up into a suplex, but Jackson blocks it. He lifts Williams up into a suplex and then drops him into a piledriver!!
(The fans cheer Rally Jackson. Jackson, with blood running down his back, waistlocks Cyrus Williams and german suplexes him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally pulls Cyrus up in a hammerlock & half nelson, and drops him back into a tiger suplex '85!! He pulls Cyrus up into a full nelson and dumps him on his head with a bridged dragon suplex!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus Williams roll his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Williams gets up on his knees and Rally smacks him in the face with a shining wizard! He pulls Cyrus up and irish whips him hard into the corner. Rally Jackson follows him in with a cartwheel into a tidal wave kick, but Cyrus bounces out and ducks under it. He hits the ropes and flips Rally Jackson head over heels with a burning lariot!!
(The crowd goes back to booing Cyrus Williams, as he rubs his nose. He mouths "Ring rust." to Tom Lux & Paul Manetti. They nod & smile)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams scoops Rally up and drops him on his head with a northern lights bomb!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Rally Jackson gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams applies a jujigatame on Rally Jackson, and pulls up on his head & arm! Rally screaming out in pain, but the fans begging him not to quit!
(Mike Peters checks in to see if Rally submits, and he almost does. Rally rolls Cyrus Williams over on to his back, pinning his shoulders to the mat)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus releases his arm so he can get his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally Jackson whacks Cyrus in the face with a series of kawada kicks, a reciept for the same kicks he recieved from The f'n Vyrus. He pulls Cyrus into his legs, and drives his face into the mat with a styles clash!!
(Rally Jackson hops on Williams' back and applies a triangle choke, rolling him around the mat so he can't get to the ropes. The Key Arena cheers Cyrus' perdictament)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally Jackson trying to choke out the man who has been responsible for ending his Canadian title reign! But he rolls over close enough to the ropes that Cyrus can reach out and grab the top rope! Rally pulls Cyrus up but Williams reverses it and pulls himself in and release half nelson suplexes him into the turnbuckles!
(Crowd boos, and Cyrus walks over and rakes his bootlaces against Rally's face a few times. Cyrus runs into the ropes and whacks Rally in the face with a Facewash kick)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally collapses out of the corner as Cyrus Williams climbs to the top turnbuckle. He hops off and lands with both feet on Rally's stomach!
(Rally leans over and vomits a little. Cyrus soaks in the boos from The Key Arena. Cyrus motions, "One more time." to his cornerman Jinn Blaze, and then climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Peters checks in to the vomiting Rally to see if he wants him to end the match, and Rally pushes him away into the ropes, crotching Cyrus! Rally sees his spot of good luck and climbs to the second rope. He drives Cyrus' head into the mat with a Rio Deal!!
(The Key Arena is deafening as Rally Jackson scampers over to pin Cyrus)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr...(Cyrus Williams kicks out)
(Audience groans at how close Rally came to beating Cyrus, then applaud the good match. Bludd screams at Cyrus trying to wake him up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally Jackson lifts Cyrus upside down into a gory special, and if you've ever heard Michael Cole say anything, you'd know this move was invented by Eddie's grandfather Gory.
Phil Blauer: And if you've ever listened to Taz, you'd know it doesn't take more than a smoke machine and a motorized platform for him to think The Undertaker is "floatin', Cole!"
(Rally Jackson drops down to his knees, driving Cyrus' head into the mat!! The Seattle crowd applauds Rally, who applies a cattle mutilation to Cyrus' arms & head)
Phil Blauer: "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson rocks back on Cyrus...
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn.
Phil Blauer: ...on Cobryn's head & back, as the two time former champion refuses to tap out!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally releases the cattle mutilation, and lifts Cyrus up into a widow's peak. He flips Williams over and into a Barry White Driver!!
(The Key Arena leaps to their feet and begins chanting "RAL-LY!! RAL-LY!! RAL-LY!! RAL-LY!! RAL-LY!!" Rally hooks Williams' leg)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus Williams kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally pulls Cyrus up and ducks a right hand from Cyrus, then runs him into the ropes. He rolls Cyrus up into a backroll press!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus grabs Rally by the back of the gui into a backroll press)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Rally Jackson kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus rolls up into a full nelson and dragon suplexes him!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Rally Jackson gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally Jackson runs into the ropes and walks right into a high roundhouse kick! As Tigerheart drops to his knees, Cyrus bashes him in the face with a knee.
(Cyrus turns Rally over into a single leg boston crab. Williams pulls back on Jackson's legs while standing on his head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus trying to take out those powerful legs of Rally's to cut down on those kicks of his. Williams releases it, and irish whips Rally into the ropes. He dips down for a backdrop, and Rally reverses it into a canadian destroyer piledriver!!!
(The Key Arena is deafening with chants of "RAL-LY!! RAL-LY!! RAL-LY!! RAL-LY!! RAL-LY!!" Rally inverted facelocks Cyrus and turns him over into a dragon clutch)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally Jackson has the fans on his side for a change. He attempts to bend Cyrus in half with the old Kyoto Klutch, from Akira Kyoto! Mike Peters checks in but Williams being urged by his corner to hang on.
(Rally plants his feet and wails back on Cyrus' head. Rally then lifts Cyrus up in a fisherman's suplex but then drops him neckfirst across his knee)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Musclebuster by Rally Jackson and this crowd is on their feet! Rally climbs to the second rope and twists off into an inverted tornado DDT, but Cyrus reverses it into a corkscrew tombstone!!
(The audience boos and Cyrus is off into the ropes, coming back with a penalty kick to Rally's face as he's on his knees! The crowd gets louder, so Tatsuya Arakawa and Joe Charleston try to drown them out by clapping. Cyrus then walks over to Rally, and grabs him by the dreads. He drags Rally's face along the canvas)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus drops knees to the back of Rally's head over & over, getting blood on his kickpads. He applies an abdominal stretch into a giant octopus then rolls it on to the mat. He pulls back on Rally's arm, and then rolls it into a cradle.
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Rally Jackson kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus pulls Rally Jackson into the turnbuckles, but Rally reverses it and shoots Williams into the corner. He cartwheels into a tidal wave kick!
(Rally Jackson climbs up to the top rope as Cyrus gets up to his hands and knees. Rally front flips into a rocker dropper off the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: From Rio with Love!!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus Williams kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally Jackson half nelsons Cyrus and drops him across his knee with a storm cradle driver!! He irish whips Cyrus into the turnbuckles again, and rolls forward into a koppo kick!
(Cyrus responds with a european uppercut to Rally's cheek bone and then an enzuigiri which knocks Rally to one knee)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus wallops Rally in the face with a shining wizard! Rally stays kneeling while Cyrus backs up, yakuza kick!
(Cyrus backs up again, and ends his striking combo with a rolling koppo kick of his own. As the audience boos, Cyrus kips up, and spits on Rally Jackson)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus lifts Rally up in a vertical suplex and then brainbusters him onto his knee!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr...(Rally Jackson kicks out)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes have elapsed, 10 Minutes Remaining."
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams almost put Rally away with that one and now applies a cobra clutch. He spins Rally round & round and then drops him right on his head with a dangerous cobra driver!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr....(Rally Jackson gets his foot on the bottom rope)
(The Key Arena breaks out in applause, and Williams smacks the mat in frustration. The dim Mike Peters asks "Are you tapping out?")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams signals that it's over.
Phil Blauer: Never a good sign.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus lifts Rally up in a Blackout but Rally falls behind him and drops Cyrus on his skull with a backdrop driver!!
(Crowd comes alive and Jackson feeds off their energy to pump himself back up. He pulls Cyrus' head into his legs and then pulls him up on his shoulder in a powerbomb, but Cyrus slides back on to his feet catching Rally's head in an inverted facelock on the way over)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus hits The Blackout!!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
(Marilyn Manson's "Personal Jesus" plays and The Key Arena boos. Cyrus Williams drops to the mat, and rolls out of the ring to his entourage)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 21 minutes 14 seconds, THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, ADVANCING TO THE SECOND ROUND OF THE HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT...CYRUS WILLIAMS!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams, without knowing it beforehand is one step closer to regaining the World Championship he feels he still owns.
Phil Blauer: I have a car somewhere I feel I still own.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Your nowhere closer to regaining that one. It was repo'd.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up is the match to decide who is the number one contender to the West Coast title. Bruno and Tony Thunder lit it up in San Francisco in a threeway dance with "Nasty" Ned Chambers.
Phil Blauer: I miss Ned.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I know you do, Phil. Now they get a new dance partner, and a formidible one at that. "Your Canadian Hero" Nick Knight.
Phil Blauer: Nah, my Canadian Hero is Loverboy.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nick Knight had quite a showing in the barbed wire battle royal...
Phil Blauer: Oooh, ooh, can I change mine? Ok, my Canadian Hero is Michael Douglas.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Michael Douglas is from Jersey.
Phil Blauer: You kidding me, with that mullet?
("Warrior Part 2" by Eminem/Lloyd Banks/Nate Dogg/50 Cent plays on The Key Arena public announce system and the Seattle audience cheers)
Phil Blauer: That's alot of guys to sing one song.
(White and red lasers just keep hitting The Key Arena while a maple leaf is shown on the titantron followed by the words "Your...Canadian...Hero." Once the actual song starts, a big water mark of a maple leaf is cast upon the ramp and Nick Knight slowly makes his way to the ring waving a big Canadian Flag in his hand)
Phil Blauer: How come everybody's cheering him?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Haven't you heard? Canadian heels are out like Atari Teenage Riot. Thought you knew.
(Nick Knight gets in the ring and perches the middle rope while placing his right hand on his chest and screaming "Oh Canada")
Phil Blauer: With no NHL, he figures that tune's gotta get SOME play. So I hear your going over there?
Guillermo O'Bannon: My agents are talking...
Phil Blauer: Your Uncle Morty?
Guillermo O'Bannon: My Uncle Morty has been talking to the officials at Hardkore Canada, and there have been some rather generous offers floated my way.
Phil Blauer: Like?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Well, my pick of any & all flannel at some of Canada's top boutiques.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is a Threeway Dance, the winner will become the number one contender to the Hardkore West Coast title. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 252 pounds...'YOUR CANADIAN HERO' NICK KNIGHT!!!"
(Fans give Knight a round of applause, but he's lost in that groovy national anthem. Then red pyros go off while "The Champ is Here" by Jadakiss plays and the audience gets alot louder. Bruno does a bodybuilder pose)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno looking to realize his dream of becoming Hardkore West Coast Champion.
Phil Blauer: Yes, but what about my dream?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jesus, Phil, would you shut up about that? I told you Jim Varney's dead, you can't meet him!!
Yolanda Ando: Bruno's wearing black tights.
Phil Blauer: Is that what we pay her for?? I could of told you that!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And from Compton, California; Standing 7 feet tall; Weighing 355 pounds...BRUNO!!!"
(The audience cheers and Bruno points out the loudest ones. When the ring workers are done setting up the half-pipe, "Thunderstruck" by AC/DC plays and the Tony Thunder fans make themselves heard. Tony Thunder skateboards through the curtain, and rides up the skate ramp over the ropes into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tony Thunder's uncle DKahuna is best friends with Bruno. But tonight, Bruno is a roadblock to Thunder's shot at the Hardkore West Coast Title. Nothing more.
Phil Blauer: Sure, Bruno will still play "I got your nose" with Tony Thunder. But it will be an empty gesture.
Yolanda Ando: Tony Thunder wears a black t-shirt with "X Games" on the front and "Tony Thunder Rulz, DUDE!" on the back. Black shorts with blue elbow & kneepads.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And finally, from Venice Beach, California; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 250 pounds...'THE EXTREMIST' TONY THUNDER!!"
(The audience cheers and then "Operation Midnight" by DJ Shadow plays. The fans are familiar with Hardkore Jonnie Valentine's theme, and cheer. Valentine walks out wearing a Cincinatti Bengals home jersey with Carson Palmer's #9)
Phil Blauer: Jonnie obviously looking for the sympathy pop with that Bengals jersey.
Guillermo O'Bannon: What does Jonnie wanna say to these three?
Hardkore Jonnie Valentine: "As you three know, Robert Hunglestien III no-showed Palm Springs Punishment making Palm Springs Punishment the first Hardkore World pay-per-view ever main evented by a Moondog. With this in mind, I am stripping Robert Hunglestien of his second round seeding in the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament. This match between Bruno, Nick Knight, and Tony Thunder will not only decide who is the number one contender to the Hardkore West Coast Champion, but will also be for a berth in the second round of the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament."
(The Seattle crowd cheers and the three wrestlers celebrate this sudden elevation in stakes. Ron Reid signals for the bell, and Jonnie Valentine walks back up to the front)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Your Canadian Hero" Nick Knight waistlocks Tony Thunder and german suplexes him so hard he flips over on to his face!
(Bruno runs off the ropes and flips Nick Knight head over heels with a harsh clothesline! The audience applauds)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno picks Thunder up in a Brunobomb but The Extremist reverses it into a huracanrana!!
(Tony Thunder takes Nick Knight over in a fireman's carry, then applies a sleeper hold on Bruno! Bruno stands up, and Thunder rides him piggyback style)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno backs Thunder into the corner and squashes him with his 355 pounds! Thunder falls out of the ring! Bruno scoops up Nick Knight and drops his back across his knee with a Brunobreaker!
(Tony Thunder climbs up to the top turnbuckle with a chair in his hand, while Bruno holds Knight against his knee. He hops off the top with a chair and atomic legdrops Knight in the face with it!! The fans cheer and Tony Thunder covers Nick Knight)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr...(Nick Knight kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno irish whips Nick Knight into the ropes and lifts him up into a spinebuster, but Knight reverses it into a monkey flip!
(Knight mounts Bruno and pounds him with several right hands, and the fans cheer. Tony Thunder pulls Knight up and belly to belly suplexes him! The Key Arena applauds)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno german suplexes Tony Thunder!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tony Thunder rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nick Knight flips Thunder over with an exploder '98 suplex!!
(Knight irish whips Thunder into the ropes and goes for a flying spin kick, but Thunder ducks and reverses it into an abdominal stretch. Thunder plants his foot and wrenches back with Your Canadian Hero's arm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno comes off the ropes and pounds Knight in the face with a big boot while he's trapped in The Extremist's abdominal stretch! Thunder rolls Bruno up from behind with a crucifix cradle!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Bruno gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno gets up and Nick Knight smacks him with a karate chop to the chest. Your Canadian Hero measures him and pops him with another hard chop to the pectorals!
(Knight chops Bruno's chest over & over as The Key Arena starts "Woo"-ing louder & louder. Tony Thunder climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tony Thunder smacks a stunned Bruno in the face with a flying headbutt off the top rope!
(Nick Knight attempts to suplex the 7 footer, but Bruno blocks it and lifts Knight up high into a suplex. The Key Arena lights up like daylight as the audience takes pictures of Their Canadian Hero hanging upside down 7 feet in the air. After several moments of pleading from Knight, Bruno drops Nick Knight with a suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tony Thunder runs into the ropes and flips into a rolling thunder legdrop on Nick Knight! Thunder pulls Knight up and goes for a suplex but Knight blocks it.
(Knight vertical suplexes Thunder into an orange bomb!! The crowd applauds and Ron Reid slides into position)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Bruno elbow drops Tony Thunder in the face)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nick Knight climbs to the top rope and comes off with a huracanrana, but Thunder catches him by his legs and powerbombs him!!
(Bruno grabs Thunder by the neck and drives him into the canvas with a rock bottom! Nick Knight staggers to his feet, and then runs into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Your Canadian Hero gets enough height to hit the seven foot Bruno with a roundhouse kick!
(Nick Knight sets Bruno's throat on the top rope, as Thunder climbs to the top turnbuckle. Thunder comes off with a leg drop to the back of Bruno's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Guillotine legdrop by The Extremist! Nick Knight irish whips Tony Thunder into the ropes and flies into a quebrada into an inverted DDT!!
(Bruno shakily climbs on to the top turnbuckle and then hops off hitting Tony Thunder with an elbow drop! Bruno applies a kataha-jime to Tony Thunder, the audience leaps to their feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno cutting off all the air to Tony Thunder's brain.
Phil Blauer: Unfortunately Thunder's mother beat him to it with her massive drinking during his pregnancy.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno rolls on to his back, and clamps down on Thunder's throat! There's no escape and Tony Thunder has to tap out!!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 10 minutes 27 seconds, 'The Extremist' Tony Thunder has been eliminated!"
(The audience applauds Tony Thunder's performance, as he rolls out of the ring and walks to the back. Inside the ring, Bruno and Nick Knight circle one another)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno & Knight lock up, and Bruno shoots Knight into the ropes. Bruno runs into them but Knight tumbles underneath a clothesline. Knight comes back out of the ropes and handsprings into a cartwheel into a clothesline that knocks Bruno into the corner!
(The Key Arena applauds Knight's agility. Knight climbs up to the second rope and inverted facelocks Bruno)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Your Canadian Hero inverted tornado DDT's Bruno off the second rope!! He maintains the inverted facelock and turns Bruno over into a dragon clutch!!
(The fans applaud Knight's combination, and Ron Reid asks Bruno if he wants to give up not only a shot at the Hardkore West Coast title but his spot in the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Knight plants his feet and pulls back on Bruno's head & neck while bending his back into a painful arch.
Phil Blauer: I wonder if Bruno ever had Tammy in that same way? I hear she's a real freak like that.
(Bruno uses those long arms to reach out and grab hold of the bottom rope. Ron Reid forces a Knight to break the dragon clutch. Knight then stands in the corner and waits for Bruno to get up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Knight tries to hit the 355 pounder with a spear but Bruno no sells it and reverses it into a DDT!!
(The fans cheer and Bruno pumps himself up and waits for Knight to stand. When he does, Bruno knocks him into next week with a giant spear!! The crowd roars and chant "BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno grabs Knight's foot and twists it into an ankle lock! He wraps his trunk legs around Nick's thigh and falls back to the mat.
(Bruno twists Knight's foot from side as Nick's fists ball up in pain. Ron Reid checks in to see if he submits as Bruno yells "QUIT! Quit, motherfucker!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno releases the "Bruno Leglock" and pulls Knight up into a crotch-tie position. He pumphandles Knight up but Knight rolls up into a diamond cutter!!
(Crowd applauds the reversal, but Knight is busy whipping Bruno's leg around into a spinning toehold. Nick drops down into a figure four leglock, and Bruno sits up in agony)
Guillermo O'Bannon: He calls that The Figure Four Nick Lock.
Phil Blauer: If you don't have a good name for a move, just leave it be.
(Nick pushes up to give himself added leverage. Bruno cries out in pain, and tries unsuccessfully to roll it over)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nick releases the figure four and pulls Bruno up into a front facelock. He drops down into an evenflow DDT!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Bruno kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nick climbs to the top rope, and comes off with a plancha but Bruno catches him and powerslams him!!
Phil Blauer: That's 355 pounds of Compton coming down on you! Usually when that happens I wake up screaming in a cold sweat.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Nick Knight kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno irish whips Nick Knight into the ropes and tiltawhirls him into a side slam!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Nick Knight kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno scoops Knight up and drills his skull into the mat with a tombstone piledriver! Bruno fireman's carries Nick up and sits him on the top turnbuckle, but Knight slugs him from up there.
(Knight inverted facelocks Bruno and flips forward into a Canadian diamond dust!! The audience applauds, and Knight hooks the leg)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Bruno kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Knight hooks him from behind and drops the 7 footer into an Orton backbreaker!
(Nick Knight climbs to the top turnbuckle and then tightrope walks across the top rope! The Key Arena applauds his ballance)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nick Knight tightrope walks and then leaps on to Bruno's shoulder with a Walk-a-Rana!!
(The Seattle fans give Knight a standing ovation for that move and Knight makes another pin attempt)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Bruno kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Knight front facelocks Bruno, but Bruno rolls it into an unprettier!!
(Fans applaud Bruno's quick reversal, and Bruno twists Knight's arm. Bruno nods & smiles, then steps up to the top rope and does a tightrope walk of his own. The crowd applauds even louder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno showing Nick Knight how a tightrope is done and then comes down on his twisted arm with one of those treelike forearms!
(Nick Knight staggers around, clutching his arm. Bruno makes a big show out of grabbing Knight by his throat. The Seattle fans jump to their feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno lifts Knight seven feet in the air and chokeslams him back to the stone age!!
(The Key Arena is deafening with the chant of "BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!!" Bruno pulls Knight up into a suplex but Knight floats over and lands on his feet behind him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Knight reverses the Brunobuster into a flatliner he calls Knighthood Stripped!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
("Warrior Part 2" by Eminem/Lloyd Banks/Nate Dogg/50 Cent plays and the fans in The Key Arena put down whatever their doing to give both wrestlers a standing ovation for such an outstanding match)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Your Canadian Hero" Nick Knight not only has the winner of tonight's rematch between The Shootfighter & Big Bad Bill; but he advances to the second round of the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 18 minutes 9 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, ADVANCING TO THE QUARTERFINALS OF THE HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT...'YOUR CANADIAN HERO' NICK KNIGHT!!!"
(Knight walks over to Bruno and shakes his hand. The Key Arena gives both men another standing ovation)
(Camera comes out to the backstage area of The Key Arena. A miniature version of Seattle has been erected. Speaking of erect, there's the Space Needle. Former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone is standing in the center of the city)
Former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Ladies and Gentleman, I am standing here in the center of Seattle. Tonight, two of Hardkore's monsters will battle in this city I contructed to see who is truly the King of All Monsters...
Phil Blauer: (inside the arena) Matt, Matt...can you hear me?
Former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Yes.
Phil Blauer: When were you able to build this giant city?
Former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: In my spare time. Without further ado. First, Stan "The Tank" Wilson...
(Three Japanese men all croon into a microphone, "Stan The Tank...STAN THE TANK!" as Stan walks out. Stan rolls his eyes at all the high camp and stands on his side of Seattle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan said he didn't care what kind of match he got Gojira in. I think now, he could be regretting that statement.
Phil Blauer: I gotta get those Japanese guys. They could be the new 98 Degrees, but Japanese...and slightly more middle aged.
Former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: AND...Death Gojira!
(The singers chime in with "Go-ji-ra...Go-ji-ra...." as Death Gojira stomps out into the center of Seattle)
Guilllermo O'Bannon: Now the rules of this match is one wrestler must climb up the Space Needle and grab a plushie doll of Minya, Godzilla's son.
Phil Blauer: I thought it was gonna be Tokyo.
Guillermo O'Bannon: We couldn't get the rights to Tokyo. We only had enough for Seattle or Halifax. Stan rushes Gojira and bashes his face into a building then raises his hand over his head mocking Gojira's size.
(Gojira gets angry and charges Stan Wilson, Wilson shoulderblocks her and Gojira goes down like a ton of bricks)
Japanese singers: Stan The Tank...STAN THE TANK!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson pulls Gojira up and bearhugs him! He tries his hand at squeezing the life out of The King of the Monsters!
(Gojira cries out in pain, as Wilson constricts his breathing. Gojira pokes Wilson in the eye)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira applies a chicken wing crossface on Wilson. Gojira's pulling him down by the neck while cranking that arm. Gojira ties up their legs a little and then leg sweeps Stan's face into one of the buildings!
(Death Gojira climbs up on to one of the buildings and delivers a super facebuster on Stan!! Wilson's face bounces off the asphalt)
Japanese Singers: "Go-ji-ra! GO-JI-RA!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira grabs Stan Wilson and rams his head through the Seattle greenhouse! Glass is everywhere!
(Gojira picks up his Goji Chair and runs at Stan, but Wilson catches him with a Black Hole Slam onto the Seattle Petting Zoo!! Gojira squashes little miniature goats, pigs, & rabbits)
Japanese singers: "Stan the Tank...STAN THE TANK!!"
Phil Blauer: Those little plastic piggies are like shrapnel in your back!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson steps on Gojira's throat! That's over 300 pounds on his neck.
Phil Blauer: That's more than John Goodman eats in a day!
(Stan Wilson scoops Gojira up and running powerslams him on to the Municipal Court of Seattle!! The building breaks up and there seems to be a spool of barbed wire inside it. Stan takes out the spool of barbed wire and gets an evil look in his eye)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wilson wraps the barbed wire around the Seattle Financial Center.
Phil Blauer: Stan, always the stickler for detail, righting a wrong for Matt Boone. I believe the Seattle Financial Center is supposed to be wrapped in barbed wire.
Guillermo O'Bannon: When Stan goes to deliver a big boot, Gojira quickly ducks under it and trip Wilson face first into the barbed wire wrapped Seattle Financial Center!!
Japanese singers: "Go-ji-ra! GO-JI-RA!"
(With Stan down, Gojira will drop a push the Seattle-Tacoma Airport radio tower over him, sending it toppling down onto Stan!! Gojira stomps around "Ree-ornk!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira sits on Wilson's back and straightjacket camel clutches him! Wilson cannot submit here, but Gojira can sure hurt him.
Phil Blauer: But all the pain in the World won't get him that little Godzilla plushy...jesus, I have to call my agent.
(Gojira lets go of Wilson's arms and lets him drop. He begins climbing the Space Needle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira climbing up that Space Needle and getting closer to the top...Stan is up and grabs Gojira by the throat! He chokeslams Gojira on to his knee!!
(Gojira writhes around the streets, and Stan mockingly "Ree-ornk"s him)
Japanese singers: "Stan the Tank...STAN THE TANK!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan rests the back of Gojira's head on SafeCo Field. He gets a running start and leg drops him, smashing the Mariner's homefield!!
(Wilson pulls Gojira into his legs, and pulls him up onto his shoulder. Stan gets a running start and powerbombs Gojira through Seattle Bank!! Inside rests a zippo lighter and some lighter fluid. While DG tries to get on his feet, Stan signals for his chokeslam)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan looking to put this match away.
Phil Blauer: Good thing, looks like it's gonna rain. Well, it always looks like that.
(Suddenly, a group of Japanese business men run pass the set, screaming "Gojira! Gojira!" Stan turns his head from Gojira, distracted by the men. As he does, Gojira jumps to his feet and blows a fireball right at Stan's ear)
Guillermo O'Bannon: And just like that, Gojira burns Stan again!
Phil Blauer: Stan's partially blind in one eye, Gojira used Wilson's disability to his advantage! Like the time I gave Stevie Wonder the wrong change for a $100.
(Gojira rips a "Cherry Pepsi" billboard from a building and smashes it over Wilson's head a few times)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira's Goji-chair and splinters it over Stan's head!! Gojira knees Stan in the stomach, then steps back and axe kicks the back of his head into Fisherman's Wharf!!
Japanese Singers: "Go-ji-ra!! GO-JI-RA!!"
(Death Gojira celebrates and "Ree-ornk"s around Seattle, squashing buildings! He then begins to climb the Space Needle. Suddenly bubbles come up from the Pugent Sound)
Guillermo O'Bannon: What's going on under that water.
Phil Blauer: We can only hope those bubbles are coming from Stan's mouth.
(Stan Wilson leaps out of the water back on to land. The singers are in awe. Stan glares at Gojira and heads right towards him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira jumps off the Space Needle to meet him but Stan's ready for him with a clothesline!!
(Gojira's knocked for a loop and falls on the Belltown night club! Stan irish whips Gojira facefirst into the Space Needle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wilson rams his shoulder several times into Gojira's midsection, while he's trapped in front of the space needle. He backs up and nearly takes Gojira's head off with a big boot!!
(Gojira's eyes roll into the back of his head and he collapses to the asphalt. Wilson takes a few moments to catch his breath and then begins climbing the Space Needle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wilson is almost at the top of the Space Needle but Gojira has that bottle of lighter fluid. He takes a swig, lights the zippo, and blows a giant fireball at Wilson's head!!
(Wilson must drop down from the Space Needle to avoid the fireball. Gojira blows a second one at him, but The Tank ducks and a couple of the buildings catch fire)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira catches Wilson looking at the burning buildings and blows a fireball on his back! He inverted facelocks Stan and inverted DDTs him on the asphalt!!
(Gojira sticks his hand into one of the minature buildings and pulls out a Big Mac)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Obviously, Boone left his lunch in one of the buildings by accident earlier today.
Phil Blauer: Is that what he was crying about? I thought someone died! Gojira takes a couple big bites, then smears the secret sauce into Wilson's eyes!
Guillermo O'Bannon: What's so secret about it? It's Thousand Island.
Phil Blauer: But which Island is the one that makes the sauce? You could be searching your entire life and never find the right one.
(While Wilson is trying to get the letuce, tomato, two all beef patties on a sesame seed bun out of his eyes, Gojira dropkicks him into an electrified sign!! Wilson is zapped and then falls to his side)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wilson blocks a fisherman's suplex and presses Gojira over his head!
(Gojira demands to be put down until The Tank does so with a powerslam on the blacktop!! Taylor runs into the minature city, wearing a pair of Mothra wings. Gojira and Stan stop to give Taylor a confused look)
Japanese singers: "Moth-a-ra! MOTH-a-RA!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Amazing Taylor has donned the famous mothra costume. What benefit it will do Gojira is beyond me.
(Gojira sighs then motions to Stan, offering Taylor to him. Stan bows his head in thanks then chokeslams Taylor through a building!! Gojira tries to sneak up on Stan but Stan catches him and flapjacks his face into the Seattle Aquarium)
Japanese Singers: "Stan the Tank! STAN THE TANK!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan holds Gojira up in a suplex in a display of power, and then drops his back on to the West Seattle Bridge and into the pool of water!!
(Stan staggers over to the Space Needle clutching his back, and begins climbing the Space Needle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira drags himself out of the water and begins climbing the Space Needle.
Phil Blauer: It's a race to the top!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira and Stan are climbing up the Space Needle and exchanging blows.
Phil Blauer: Stan's within an arm's reach of the Godzooki plushi!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira swings around with a 619, driving his knees into Stan's side!
(Gojira grabs onto Stan's head and pulls him off the tower with a super neckbreaker onto the burning buildings!! The building Stan lands on contains pyros and explodes when he lands on it!! Stan clutches his back and rolls around the asphalt, screaming)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira drops Stan on that burning building that contained some sore of explosive, and it went up when The Tank crashed through it!!
Phil Blauer: Hit it, boys!
Japanese singers: "Go-ji-ra!! GO-JI-RA!!"
(With his last ounce of strength, Gojira climbs up the Space Needle and grabs the plushie!! The fans can be heard inside The Key Arena cheering)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira has retrieved the Minya doll and won the match!
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: "At 11 minutes 29 seconds; THE KING OF ALL MONSTERS...DEATH GOJIRA!!!"
(Gojira stands high atop of the Space Needle and gives out a victorious, but drained SKREEORNGHK! Stan pulls himself out of the rubble)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan is back and not looking very happy, and then slams powerful arms into the tower!
(The tower topples over, with Gojira still on it, onto another set of buildings rigged with explosions!! Gojira writhes around on the asphalt, clutching his numerous burns)
Phil Blauer: Ew, get a close up of that. There's a shard of wood lodged in Gojira's calf!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson grabs Gojira by the throat...he lifts him over seven feet in the air and then chokeslams his back on to that toppled Space Needle!!
(Makoto Jupiter, Eerie Von, and Tuxedo Mask rush out to collect Death Gojira! The Cupcake Crew pull Gojira to his feet while Stan begins staggering away)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira is bleeding profusely from that calf, as Taylor tries to pull it out.
(Gojira yelps out in pain and then smacks Taylor in the head. Taylor tries to get Tuxedo Mask & Eerie Von to jump Stan while he's injured)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Taylor looking to get revenge on Stan for that chokeslam but Gojira is shaking his head no.
Phil Blauer: I think he's just nodding out from the blood loss.
(Both wrestlers limp away in to the sunset, reminisent of the finale of King Kong vs Godzilla as the camera fades to black)
(Camera opens on the Hardkore World Women's Championship title belt hanging over a ladder in the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth now makes her first title defense against Ayame "Phoenix" Tokugawa in a ladder match. As far as first title defenses go, this'll be a tough one. Hardkore Nippon superstar Tokugawa recently returned from a hiatus by defeating former UCW World Champion Brandi.
Phil Blauer: But Xyrynth is fresh off a big title win from Tamara Sanchez in a falls count anywhere match. If momentum is a factor, it'll be in Xyrynth's favor.
("Before I'm Dead" by The Kidneytheives plays and KJ "Dracon" Xanathos & Pedro “El Gallo” Santiago lead Ayame down to the ring. The crowd reaction is boos mostly although she has some pockets of fans from Seattle's Japanese community. She stands up on the apron and poses for some photographs before backrolling over the top rope into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Pedro “El Gallo” Santiago recently began wrestling in Hardkore Northeast. He's slated to face Trine in the first round of the Hardkore Northeast Tri-State Championship tournament. Dracon Xanathos signed up in Canada. This clique is well represented all over the World. As far as wrestling styles, Ayame Tokugawa will be a similar opponent for Xyrynth, which is not good news.
Yolana Ando: Ayame some wears a sexy black leather pants and a baby t-shirt with crimson Japanese characters.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is a Ladder Match for the Hardkore World Women's Championship! Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by her manager, KJ "Dracon" Xanathos & Pedro "El Gallo" Santiago; Hailing from Kyoto, Japan; Standing 5 feet 9 inches tall; Weighing 133 pounds...AYAME 'PHEONIX' TOKUGAWA!!!"
(Ayame flexes her biceps as the fans boo. Then "Sweet Dreams" by Eurythmics plays and The Key Arena becomes deafening. Dr. Cliff Hawke leads Xyrynth out through the curtain, and down the aisleway. Xyrynth tries to slap as many fans' hands as she can on her way to the ring)
Phil Blauer: Xyrynth one of our most popular wrestlers.
Guillermo O'Bannon: The jealousy just wafts off of you.
Phil Blauer: No, I think that's Old Spice.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth now a two time Hardkore World Women's Champion, a feat she can truly be proud of. But how long will this latest reign last?
Yolanda Ando: Xyrynth wears some lightweight jeans dyed deep purple with "Xyrynth"
spelled in sea foam green vertically down her outer left leg. Matching sea foam green tank top tucked into the pants. Black, sturdy, hiking boots with "Section 8" emblems on the outside ankles of each, and black kneepads. Fingerless black leather gloves with the "Section 8" emblems on the backs. Her long brown hair is in a single French braid down her back to her waist, interwoven and tied with deep purple and sea foam green ribbons.
Phil Blauer: How long is Jonnie gonna continue to allow her to market HPWA products on his dime?
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And her opponent, accompanied to the ring by her manager, Dr.Cliff Hawke; Hailing from Leitchfield, Kentucky; Standing 5 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 170 pounds; She is Two Time HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...XYRYNTH!!!"
(The Seattle crowd gives her a huge ovation, as she nervously eyes the ladder. Ron Reid signals for the bell and forces Pedro “El Gallo” Santiago, Bill Kasal, Dr.Cliff Hawke, and KJ "Dracon" Xanathos out of the ring. Ayame "Phoenix" Tokugawa walks across the ring and slaps Xyrynth across the face. The fans cover their mouths, and Xyrymth whips back with a poison look)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth hiptosses Tokugawa and then rolls over top of her with a neck snap!
(Ayame gets up and Xyrynth tries to kick her but Phoenix catches her foot. Xyrynth answers with an enzuigiri kick)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth waistlocks Tokugawa but Ayame back elbows her. Phoenix snap mares her over. Tokugawa dropkicks the back of Xyrynth's head.
(Xyrynth gets up to her knees but Ayame kicks her as hard as she can in the face. The Seattle crowd boos Tokugawa but Santiago & Xanathos try and drown that out with applause. Phoenix goes into the ropes and flips her over with a flying head scissors)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame applies a sleeper hold, but Xyrynth is fast to drop on her knees with a jawbreaker! She irish whips Tokugawa into the ropes and tiltawhirls her into a gutbuster!
(The Key Arena is deafening with cheers, as Phoenix crawls around the ring, clutching her stomach. Xyrynth climbs up the ladder and waits for her to turn around)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth comes off the ladder with a flying head scissors of her own!! The fans are on their feet! The champ irish whips Tokugawa into the ropes and goes for a big boot, but Ayame catches her foot and gives her a dragon screw!
(The Seattle crowd boos, and Phoenix applies a grapevine to Xyrynth's leg. Tokugawa wrenches her leg, and Ron Reid checks in to see if she wants to tap out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame pulls up & back on Xyrynth's grapevined leg but the champion refuses to tap out. Phoenix releases the leglock and steps through the ropes out on to the apron. She hits her in the face with a springboard dropkick!!
(The fans continue to boo as Tokugawa pulls Xyrynth up by the arm. She twists her arm, and then hook kicks the helpless Xyrynth! Ayame picks up the ladder and leans it into the corner)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame picks Xyrynth up in a powerbomb but she rolls out into a standing head scissors, pitching Phoenix facefirst into the ladder!!
(The crowd cheers and Xyrynth hooks Tokugawa up into a fisherman's suplex. She lifts her up and then drops her neck into a brainbuster!! The Key Arena is deafening)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth sets the ladder up in the center of the ring and begins climbing up. She gets three quarters of the way up and then backflips into a Cleanyng Out Cobwebs kick!!
(Xyrynth picks up the ladder and leans it into the corner. She irish whips Ayame into the corner, but Phoenix reverses it and sends her into the ladder!! Tokugawa follows her in with a dropkick to the back, mashing her face into the ladder again! The fans boo as Xyrynth collapses to the mat. Ayame sets the ladder up in the center of the ring and begins climbing to the top)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth is up and begins climbing up the other side. Both ladies meet at the middle, and Phoenix takes her over the top and down to the mat with a lariot!!
(The audience cheers that spot and begins chanting "A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!!" Tokugawa lifts Xyrynth up by her braid and tosses her over the top rope to the floor below. Ayame then drags the ladder towards the ropes, then climbs up to the middle of the ladder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phoenix backflips off that ladder into a moonsault body press on Xyrynth!! Xyrynth's back hits the guardrail hard!! Tokugawa climbs up to the apron, and comes off with a plancha but Xyrynth catches her and drops her throatfirst on the railing!!
(Xyrynth picks Ayame up and DDT's her head into The Key Arena floor!! Xyrynth climbs up onto the apron, waiting for Phoenix to get back up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth comes off the apron with a spin kick! She rolls Tokugawa back in to the ring.
(Xyrynth rolls back into the ring and tips the ladder over onto it's side. She fireman's carries Ayame onto her shoulders)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth F5's Phoenix's face onto that ladder!! She sets the ladder up into the center of the ring and begins climbing up the ladder to regain her championship. Tokugawa climbs to the middle of the ladder from the other side. She grabs Xyrynth's head and drops her with a side effect off of the ladder!!
(The fans chant "A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!!" as both women lie on the mat, recovering. Ayame picks the ladder up and and tosses it on to Xyrynth's face. The sound of the metal ladder hitting Xyrynth's face rings through The Key Arena)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phoenix hits a rolling thunder on top of that ladder, ramming it into Xyrynth's face!! Tokugawa sets the ladder down in the center of the ring and pulls her head into her legs. Ayame samurai drivers Xyrynth's back onto that ladder!!!
(The Seattle crowd continues to chant "A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!!" Phoenix grabs the ladder and waits for Xyrynth to stand up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tokugawa runs at the champ with that ladder but Xyrynth overhead kicks it into Ayame's face!!
(Xyrynth sets the ladder down and then full nelsons Phoenix, positioning her near the ladder. She bubbabombs Tokugawa's ass onto the ladder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth DDTs Ayame's head onto the ladder!! She irish whips Phoenix into the ropes and knocks her into the middle of next week with a huracanrana!!
(Xyrynth sets the ladder up underneath the Hardkore World Women's Championship. She goes up the ladder, but Tokugawa climbs up on the other side. The two women meet at the top and exchange blows)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth getting the better of this exchange and pulls her into her legs.
Phil Blauer: She's gonna powerbomb her off of the ladder!
Guillermo O'Bannon: She pulls her up but Ayame huracanranas her off of the ladder to the ring below!!! Unbelievable!!
(The Key Arena chants "A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!! A-YA-ME!!" Phoenix pulls Xyrynth up and bends her over her knee. KJ "Dracon" Xanathos yells at Dr. Cliff Hawke, "Let this be a lesson to you!")
Phil Blauer: So Ayame got my letters! I've been asking for this for a while.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tokugawa spanks Xyrynth over & over, trying to humiliate the two time Hardkore World Champion.
Phil Blauer: Or turn me on.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phoenix sets the ladder down in the center of the ring, and then irish whips Xyrynth into the ropes. Ayame black hole slams her onto the ladder!!
(Xyrynth writhes around the mat, clutching her back. Tokugawa sets the ladder up in the center of the ring and then begins climbing up towards the belt)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth climbs up the ladder, past Phoenix's back, and gets up on her shoulders. She inverted huracanranas Ayame off of the ladder!!
(The Key Arena applauds Xyrynth's inverted rana, as well as this show stealing match. Xyrynth tips the ladder over onto it's side. She pulls Tokugawa's head into her legs, and then pulls her up into a cradle piledriver. She drops to her knees while driving Phoenix's head into the ladder!! The building gets louder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Xyrynth sets the ladder up and climbs up to the very top. She signals to her fans and then catches Ayame with a flying body press off of it!!!
(The crowd gets rowdier, and Xyrynth pulls Tokugawa up by the arm. She twists her arm and Phoenix cries out in pain. Ayame then runs up the turnbuckles, then tightrope walks along the top rope while Xyrynth still holds her by her twisted arm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tokugawa takes Xyrynth over with a huracanrana off of the middle of the top rope!! She tips the ladder over and waits for Xyrynth to stand up. She runs over to Xyrynth and jumps up into a crucifix and rolls through into a Déjà Vu DDT on the ladder!!
(The Key Arena applauds this match again, and Phoenix sets the ladder up underneath the Hardkore World Women's title. She climbs up to the middle, but Xyrynth grabs her by the back of her leather pants)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame backflips off of the ladder into an inverted DDT!! The crowd giving it up for Tokugawa's wrestling prowess. Phoenix sets the ladder up in the corner and irish whips Xyrynth, but she reverses it and sends Ayame into the ladder!! Xyrynth grabs Tokugawa by the legs and catapults her face into the ladder!!
(Phoenix falls backwards onto Xyrynth's upraised knees! Xyrynth sets the ladder up in the center of the ring, and then climbs up to the top. The champion backflips into a shooting star missle dropkick to Ayame's face!! The Seattle crowd gives her a monster pop)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The crowd going wild for a The Myssle Stryke off the top of that ladder! She picks Tokugawa up and drops her head first for a brainbuster DDT on the ladder!!
(Xyrynth begins climbing up the ladder towards the Hardkore World Women's Championship. Phoenix begins climbing up the other side. The two women meet at the top again, and begin exchanging right hands)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame wins the fist fight and applies an inverted facelock. She then applies an eye of the hurricane off of the ladder!!!
(The Key Arena boos, and Tokugawa begins climbing to the top of the ladder. She gets to the top and snags the title belt)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame "Phoenix" Tokugawa wins the Hardkore World Women's Championship!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: At 14 minutes 7 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...AND NEW HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...AYAME 'PHOENIX' TOKUGAWA!!!"
(The Seattle crowd boos as Tokugawa hoists the title belt up high in the air. Dr. Cliff Hawke escorts a shocked Xyrynth back to the locker room. When Ayame comes down from the ladder, KJ "Dracon" Xanathose & Pedro "El Gallo" Santiago hold her up on their shoulders)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame Tokugawa makes history here in Seattle tonight. Now she has to defend it against Brandi in San Diego. Can she hold on to this recent "hot potato" of a title against a veteran of the European women's scene and owner of Hardkore South?
Guillermo O'Bannon: In Denver, The Shootfighter took Big Bad Bill to the very limit. However, after breaking his nose and beating him senseless with that stainless steel cane, The Shootfighter wasn't able to defeat the West Coast Champion. Now tonight, they face off again...
Phil Blauer: ...in a little something we in creative are calling, Shootfighter/Bill IV, The Reckoning!
Guillermo O'Bannon: I'd keep working on it.
Phil Blauer: So hard to create, so easy to tear down.
("The Theme from Mortal Kombat" by The Immortals plays and the Seattle fans boo. The Shootfighter walks out with his Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team title strapped around his waist. Judge Death proudly struts down to the ring, ignoring the jeering fans)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter curing a decades long drought by winning that six man tag team title. Now he hopes to win his first singles title here in Hardkore World.
Phil Blauer: I was so sad to read that letter from his number one fan. I got one I'd like to read if we have some time.
Guillermo O'Bannon: We really don't...
Phil Blauer: "Dear Phil, This is a Cease and Desist Order from the Baltimore Ravens Cheerleading Squad..."
Yolanda Ando: The Shootfighter wears knee length black wrestling tights, black wrestling boots, sharp studded forearm pads and a tight black robe with a red dragon on the back and wields a stainless steel singapore cane. Judge Death wears a Salem witch trial style wig & robe, a gargoyles mask and black boots & wields a cane with a gargoyles head on it.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a 30 minute time limit and is for the Hardkore West Coast Championship. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by his manager, Judge Death; From Bangkok, Thailand; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds; He is One Third of the HARDKORE WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...THE SHOOTFIGHTER!!!"
(The audience boos as The Shootfighter crosses his arms and waits for Big Bad Bill to walk out. "The Headless Children" by WASP begins. The fans cheer as smoke fills the entrance ramp and ‘black lights’ cause a purplish glow as they flicker in the background. When the main guitar riff hits, Big Bad Bill appears through the smoke with the Hardkore West Coast title belt strapped around his waist, and walks towards destiny)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill got pretty hardcore during his last match with Lonewolf McNeely. This match promises to only get worse with the bad blood and unfinished business from the last match.
Yolanda Ando: Big Bad Bill wears some indigo cotton pants with black boots that go to mid-shin. He wears a black belt & indigo tank top and a pair of black weight-lifting gloves.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, from Asbury Park, New Jersey; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION...BIG BAD BILL!!!"
(Audience cheers as Big Bad Bill shadowboxes around the ring. Mike Peters signals for the bell)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter hits Bill a few stiff muy thai kicks to his ankle. Bill tries to respond with a kick, but Shootfighter catches his foot and drops him into an ankle lock!
(The crowd boos as Shootfighter wraps his legs around Bill's thigh, and wrenches his foot from side to side. Peters checks in to see if he taps out but Bill waves him off)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter gets up to his feet and gives Bill's ankle another crank. Bill rolls over on to his back and kicks him off. The Shootfighter waits for Bill to get up and then smashes him with a russian sickle using that sharp studded forearm pad of his!
(The Shootfighter irish whips Big Bad Bill into the ropes, and ducks down for a backdrop. Bill double underhooks his arms and hits a michinoku driver I)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill smacks The Shootfighter in the back of the neck with a hard punch. He follows it up with a discus punch!
(Big Bad Bill irish whips Shootfighter into the ropes and knocks him senseless with a leaping Inazuma leg lariot!)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill pulls Shootfighter up by the hair, and hits him in the groin with a low blow. Shootfighter snap suplexes him, pops his hips and rolls back up to his feet and hits a second snap suplex.
(Shootfighter hits a third snap suplex, and then applies an inverted Indian deathlock! Bill grimaces in agony as Shootfighter pushes up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter once again going to Bill's legs, trying to take away those powerful kicks. Bill grabs hold of the ropes and Mike Peters forces Shootfighter to break the Shootfighter Leglock. Shootfighter irish whips Bill into the ropes but Big Bad Bill meets him in the middle with the Unfettered Might corkscrew spear!!
(Big Bad Bill runs into the ropes and drops an elbow. He gets up, runs into the ropes and drops a second one. He pulls Shootfighter up and runs up the ropes into an acid drop! The Key Arena applauds and Big Bad Bill covers him)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter tries to get up but Bill comes off the ropes and hits him on the back of the head an axe kick! He pulls Shootfighter up, but The Malaysian Giant blocks an upper palm thrust, and responds with some dragon claw strikes to his chest.
(The Shootfighter gets underneath him with a human torture rack. He bounces up & down while spinning around then drops him in a samoan drop! He grabs Big Bad Bill's leg and twists it into a figure four leglock! The fans boo)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter clamps down on Big Bad Bill's twisted legs, and they can't be feeling too good about now.
Phil Blauer: I hear ya, my dog's are barking. Do you mind?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mind?
(Phil takes his shoes & socks off and kicks his feet up on the desk)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ugh, god Phil. What the hell is that smell?
Phil Blauer: Nothing...wait, no that's dog shit. How'd that get on there? Here give me your tie.
(The Shootfighter bounces up & down on Bill's bent legs. Mike Peters checks in to see if Bill submits, while he's distracted, Judge Death holds on to Shootfighter's arms for added leverage)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Peters turns around and catches Judge Death interfering and he forces Shootfighter to break the figure four. Shootfighter hits Bill with a couple more dragon claw strikes, but Big Bad Bill bear hugs him and batters him with several headbutts.
(Big Bad Bill irish whips The Shootfighter into the corner, then follows him in and hop onto the middle of the second rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill with a faceplant DDT off the second rope!! He comes off the ropes with a leg drop to the back of his head.
(Bill picks up Shootfighter by the hair and swings him into the corner. He grabs hold of the ropes and rams his shoulder into Shootfighter's stomach over & over)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter blocks a piledriver and reverses it into a back body drop! Shootfighter scoops Bill up and drops him across his knee into a backbreaker!
(Shootfighter shows his strength training off by curling Bill up for two more backbreakers, then a third time for a full powerslam! The Seattle crowd boos and Mike Peters slides over into a pin)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter applies a crippler crossface STF on Bill!! Bill tries to roll it over but Shootfighter blocks it with his knee and then pulls up harder on Bill's arm & head!
(Mike Peters checks in to see if he submits as the Seattle crowd begs Bill not to. Shootfighter releases the crippler crossface and whacks Bill hard in the back with a muy thai kick)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter hits Bill with another hard kick to the back, focusing it right where he dropped him on his knee with those three backbreakers. But Bill blocks one and follows it with a hard punch to Shootfighter's solar plexus!
Phil Blauer: Bill breaks bricks with those punches if that gives you any idea of how Shootfighter's guts feel right now.
Guillermo O'Bannon: After 21 years of intensive training in the Togakure clan of ninjutsu, he's gotta the hardest fists in the ring.
Phil Blauer: What about Rally?
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's the most overworked fist. Bill punches The Shootfighter in the chest and then follows it with a blow to the head!
(Bill cracks Shootfighter in his shins with a sweep kick, as Shootfighter recoils in pain, Bill follows him in with a superkick upside the head! The audience cheers)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill goes to pick Shootfighter up but Shootfighter grabs him on either side with a double claw hold to his carotid arteries! Bill tips over in pain, and Shootfighter rolls on top of him with two handfuls of his neck.
(Judge Death shouts out encouragement as Shootfighter twists and rips at Bill's sensitive nerve endings. Shootfighter pulls him up into a waistlock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter german suplexes Bill! He pulls Bill up for another and drops him on his head & shoulders! Shootfighter hits a third german suplex but holds this one for a bridge!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter wraps Bill's leg up into an inverted indian deathlock!
Phil Blauer: Shootfighter has been relentlessly working down Bill's leg during this match and the damage is evident!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter sits up to get the best possible leverage.
(Mike Peters checks in and Big Bad Bill has his fists balled up in pain. Judge Death screams "Bear down!" The Shootfighter clamps down on his legs and Bill almost taps out but somehow is able to stop himself)
Guillermo O'Bannon: With the Seattle fans rooting him on, Big Bad Bill is able to crawl over and grab the bottom rope! Peters forces Shootfighter to break the inverted indian deathlock. Shootfighter pulls him up into a russian leg sweep but Big Bad Bill blocks it. Bill responds with a leg sweep of his own!
(Bill gets up before Shootfighter can and he drives his face into the mat with an x factor! Big Bad Bill pulls Shootfighter up and irish whips him into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill drives Shootfighter facefirst into the second turnbuckle with a huracanrana!! Bill follows it with a kick to Shootfighter's exposed stomach! Bill sits on Shootfighter's back and applies a body scissors. Bill rolls back into an armlock!
(Bill squeezes Shootfighter's midsection with his legs while pulling back on the armbar. Mike Peters checks in and Shootfighter refuses to tap out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill releases the body scissors, but Shootfighter rolls out of the way of a leg drop to his arm. Shootfighter catches Bill in the kidney with a muy thai kick. He gives him a second one under the armpit. Shootfighter chops him right in the throat!
(A second knife edge chop sends Bill to the mat. The Shootfighter then applies an armbar keylock. Bill tries to roll on to his feet, but Shootfighter twists him back down to the mat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter wearing down the arm of the West Coast Champion, the same arm he worked down with that crippler crossface. But Bill uses his keylocked arm to arm drag The Shootfighter over to the mat! He applies a reverse armbar on The Shootfighter.
Phil Blauer: With Paul Roma, a reverse armbar is a piss break. With Big Bad Bill, it's a finisher.
(Bill applies a nerve hold to a pressure point on The Shootfighter's neck, while winding back on his arm. Judge Death calls out possible reversals to Shootfighter)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill moves the nervehold to Shootfighter's shoulder, and turns it into a reverse hammerlock.
Phil Blauer: Call it what you will. Anyone at Trek Con 2005 can tell you that is a Vulcan Nerve Pinch.
(Bill squeezes the nerves in Shootfighter's neck & shoulder, making him squirm. He wrenches up as hard as he can and Shootfighter cries out in agony)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill switches it up into a crossface chicken wing! The Shootfighter is pushed facedown on to the mat, and Bill knees Shootfighter a few times in the kidneys.
(Bill drives his knee in to Shootfighter's side and then pulls up hard on his throat & arm. Shootfighter rocks the back of his head into Bill's face)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter gets up and batters Bill on the back of his neck with some stiff forearms from his right arm! His left arm seems to be just kind of lying there.
Phil Blauer: It looks dislocated. Either that or Shootfighter had a stroke.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter then whacks him in the nose with his good arm with a muy thai strike that opens up Bill's nose again!
(Shootfighter applies a claw to Bill's face, squeezing a lot of blood out of his nose. Bill goes down to one knee, and Shootfighter applies a claw to his heart as well. The Key Arena boos)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed; 10 Minutes Remaining."
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter squeezing every drop out of Bill's nose, but Bill responds with a heart claw of his own!
Phil Blauer: It's a Mexican Stand-off!
(Bill wins out in the battle of the claws, and stands up. He applies an additional claw to the back of Shootfighter's neck. Mike Peters checks in but Shootfighter waves him off)
Phil Blauer: Big Bad Bill claims to know of five pressure points in the back of your neck alone. That's also the same line I used to get in the sack with Guillermo's mother.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Don't flatter yourself. She's after your credit. Big Bad Bill grabs Shootfighter by the shoulders and monkey flips him across the ring!
(Big Bad Bill climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He spins off into a Feliner roundhouse kick but Shootfighter ducks underneath)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter applies a cobra clutch with a body scissors and pulls Bill down to the mat! Shootfighter attempting to end this match with The ShootClutch!!
Phil Blauer: Shootfighter gives those kidneys he kicked earlier a good squeeze. Win or lose, Big Bad Bill's postmatch piss could be the scariest moment of his life. Luckily Cyrus is there to coach him through it.
(The Shootfighter rolls him on to his back and pulls back on Bill's arm & head with that cobra clutch. The fans boo and toss soda cups into the ring, and at Judge Death)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill is able to get to the bottom rope and grab it to force him to break The ShootClutch. The Shootfighter drags him by the leg into the center of the ring. He twists Bill's legs around and turns him over into a sharpshooter!!
(Shootfighter backs up a few steps and pulls Bill's legs back with his good arm into a liontamer style scorpion deathlock. The crowd continues to boo Shootfighter as he bridges back on Bill's legs and back)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mike Peters begging Bill to tap, after all the abuse his back has taken, but Bill will not give up the title he has held for 5 months. Shootfighter releases The ShootCrab and waistlocks Bill. Bill pulls Shootfighter's leg out from under him. Big Bad Bill gets behind Shootfighter and applies a chicken wing to his injured arm. He chicken wing suplexes him over the top rope to The Key Arena floor!!
(The audience goes wild as The Shootfighter hits the concrete! Big Bad Bill climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill comes off the top rope with a rana, but The Shootfighter reverses it into a powerbomb on the concrete!!!
(The cheers turn to jeers as The Shootfighter tries to recover. He pulls Bill up into a half nelson, and then T-bone suplexes Shootfighter onto the ring steps!! The sound of Bill's skull cracking the ring steps rings throughout The Key Arena)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter one armed belly to belly suplexes Big Bad Bill headfirst into the corner post!! Bill has a huge cut over his eye now, along with blood coming out of his nose.
(Judge Death tosses a one armed The Shootfighter his stainless steel singapore cane but Big Bad Bill catches it)
Phil Blauer: Interception. Now the Seattle fans are really at home!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill smacks Shootfighter across the face with that stainless steel singapore cane! Bill begins whacking Shootfighter about the face & body with the cane on the arena floor.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Five Minutes Have Elapsed; 5 Minutes Remaining."
(Big Bad Bill goes underneath the ring and retrieves a creme brulee torch. He shows it to the fans and they give him a monster pop)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A bloody Big Bad Bill has a blowtorch of some sort, and blasts Shootfighter in the chest with it!! Again! And again!
(Shootfighter rolls around the mat clutching his chest with his good arm, as blisters appear almost instantly. Big Bad Bill presses Shootfighter's chest on the railing and climbs up on the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill comes off the apron with a guillotine leg drop pressing that burned chest into the guardrail!
(A bloody Big Bad Bill tosses a one armed Shootfighter into the ring and Judge Death rolls the the stainless steel singapore cane in towards his man)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill rolls into the ring and The Shootfighter is ready for him with a whack from that steel cane!!
(Bill hits the mat, bleeding from two places on his head. Shootfighter stands over him and smashes him across the jaw with it!! The fans boo, and The Shootfighter applies a triangle choke!! Shootfighter rolls into the center of the ring with Bill trapped in his arms & legs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: If there is no escape from the triangle choke, then The Shootfighter has him trapped in the waning moments of this Hardkore West Coast title match. Mike Peters asks Bill if he wants to tap out, as Bill turns three different shades of purple!
(The Key Arena boos as The Shootfighter rolls him onto his side and bears down on Big Bad Bill's windpipe. Bill reaches his free hand in Shootfighter's mouth and fish-hooks him)
Phil Blauer: There may be no escape to the triangle choke in UFC, but in Hardkore America you can try your best to stick your finger through his cheek.
(Shootfighter tries to lean away from his by straightening his back, but by his moving his shoulders away, he gives giving Triple B just enough slack to lift Shootfighter up in the air and deliver a slingshot powerbomb!! The crowd chants "BILL!! BILL!! BILL!! BILL!! BILL!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill slides The Shootfighter's arms into his own and applies The Dis-Locator!! Shootfighter cries out in agony as Bill tries to dislocate both of his shoulders as well as use Shootfighter's broken arm to end this!
(The fans cheer wildly. Mike Peters continually asks Shootfighter if he wants to tap out. Suddenly Blak Lung runs out of the crowd and steps over the guardrail)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed; 1 Minute Remaining."
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung enters the ring, and smacks Big Bad Bill in the back of the head with that stainless steel singapore cane!! He grabs Big Bad Bill from behind with an inverted facelock and inverted DDTs the back of his head on to his knee!!
(The Key Arena is rocked with boos, and Blak Lung drops his elbow across Bill's exposed throat. Mike Peters shoos Blak Lung out of the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter's broken arm is saved, for the moment, by his Shadows of the Night partner, Blak Lung
Phil Blauer: Blak Lung gets revenge for being thrown into those candles of his!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "30 Seconds Remaining."
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter double underhooks Big Bad Bill's arms. He lifts him up and drops his back across his knee with The ShootBreaker!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: I don't believe it! With the help of Blak Lung, The Shootfighter has upset The Hardkore West Coast Champion!
("The Theme from Mortal Kombat" by The Immortals plays and The Key Arena boos. Judge Death grabs the six man title and the Hardkore West Coast Championship Title belt off of timekeeper Ron De La O's table)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 29 minutes 35 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...AND NEW HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION...THE SHOOTFIGHTER!!!"
(The Shootfighter is handed the Hardkore West Coast and Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team title belts. He slings one over each shoulder, and Blak Lung & Judge Death lift him up on his shoulder. Some pockets of fans applaud The Shootfighter)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter has won the West Coast title, but in what shape is that arm going to be in San Diego when he defends that title against "Your Canadian Hero" Nick Knight?
(Blak Lung and Judge Death lead The Shootfighter back to the dressing room as Big Bad Bill argues with Mike Peters about the interference)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Since 1993, the Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Title, along with the Women's title was the show stealer match on every show. With the crop of young and old cruiserweights in this match, it looks to be again.
(“This Celluloid Dream” by AFI plays and the audience applauds. Syberus walks out)
Phil Blauer: Syberus looks to be one of the odds on favorites to win this thing. He's had some words with Lucifer Jones and Cobryn this week, but who hasn't?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus has won the Light Heavyweight title in WMW Heartland and Ring Syndicate, and has held titles all over the States, The Carribean, and Canada.
Yolanda Ando: Syberus is wearing some dark blue vinyl-look shorts with a circle of yellow stars on the back depicting the European Union.
Phil Blauer: Yolanda, is that mascera he's wearing?
Yolanda Ando: That's affirmative, Phil. I can't tell the brand but it could be Max Factor, Cover Girl or Revlon.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Maybe it's Maybeline.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is an Elimination Match for the vacant HARDKORE WORLD LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP. Your referees are Mike Peters and Ron Reid. Featuring first, from The Continent of Europe; Standing 6 feet even; Weighing 232 pounds...SYBERUS!!!"
(The crowd gives him a mixed reaction as he readies himself in the corner. Then "Raining Blood" by Slayer hits, the drums pounding lightly in the backdrop of the sound of a thunderstorm for a half minute, and then lightning hits the top of the video screen and the screen "explodes" as the guitars jam, revealing the name "Carpenter" written in dripping blood. The curtain parts as two burly male 'nurses' wheel out an electric chair, with Carpenter firmly strapped down and struggling)
Phil Blauer: Do all of you Irish have to be wheeled around everywhere?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Just my Uncle Mickey. And my Uncle Jimmy. My Dad you just sorta have to drag a little.
(The nurses wheel him onto the stage and stop, undo his hand restraints and turn, running backstage. He undoes the chest buckle then frees his feet and gets up, moving towards the ring, eyes glaring as he looks around. As he gets halfway down the ramp he pulls his mask off of his belt, revealing two large brass knucks, and pulls the mask over his bandaged face)
Phil Blauer: Now he's ready to go.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter and Syberus may start this match off a little early. The two couldn't be seperated during the last barbed wire battle royal at Palm Springs Punishment.
Yolanda Ando: Carpenter is trying to bring back black leather and bandages, with a metal goalie mask.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 220 pounds...CARPENTER!!!"
(The fans almost boo Carpenter out of the building. Then "Hallelujah"
plays and the audience continues to boo. "Minister" Marty Bower walks out hand in hand with his invisible manager, Jesus)
Phil Blauer: Everytime I see that it gives me the creeps. He reminds me of this old lady that lived in my apartment complex. She was always getting ready for this imaginary date. Putting on the same dress, cooking the same dinner, and then crying on the kitchen table when no one showed.
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's horrible, Phil. What happened?
Phil Blauer: Oh, it turned out alright. I told the landlord she had been breeding rats in her apartment and got her evicted. I wasn't creeped out anymore after that.
Yolanda Ando: Bower taking off that priest's robe. He's got on thos white spandex shorts, with a black cross on each side. On the back, "Bower" with a golden cross for the "t".
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And from Massena, Quebec City, Canada; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 194 pounds...'MINISTER' MARTY BOWER!!!"
(The Key Arena boos, and then "Bump-N-Grind" by R.Kelly plays. The boos are replaced with squeals from the ladies in the audience. Lucius Morgan and Tarrasque come out to the ring. Tarrasque is chewing on a very rare cooked rack of lamb. Vastrix walks out with the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team title belt strapped around his waist)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix made The Warhammer Corporation five time Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Champions at Palm Springs Punishment. Now he hopes to win his first Hardkore singles title.
Phil Blauer: And I hope to land some Vastrix run-off booty when we go out on the town tonight. He's gonna say I'm his dying Uncle.
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's sick, Phil.
Phil Blauer: No, sick won't even get you a handjob most of the time. But dying can get you anal if you play your cards right and really turn on the waterworks. Check this: (starts crying) "I...don't...wanna...die. Just...hold...me."
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hmm, not bad.
Yolanda Ando: Jeremiah Vastrix wears a form fitting black bodysuit with a porcelain mask.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And accompanied to the ring by his bodyguard, Tarrasque; and his manager, Lucius Morgan; From Hong Kong, China; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 165 pounds; He is the Tallest Man in all of China and One Third of the HARDKORE WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...'GOD'S GIFT' JEREMIAH VASTRIX!!!"
(The crowd jeers, and Vastrix flirts with a woman in the front row. Carpenter snarls at him, and Jeremiah flinches. The Key Arena lights go dim, and a dazzling light show of red, blue, yellow, and purple lights flash over the entrance way. Gozo Shioda bursts through the entrance way curtain pumping up the crowd, pointing Vastrix, Carpenter, Syberus, and Bower in the ring and drawing his thumb across his throat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The matches this man has had for this very title have been mind blowing. The 2001 classic he had with two time champion Ace Kilcannon at the Sendai Gymnasium in Sendai, Japan is still considered one of the best Hardkore matches of all time. He won the championship with a crucifix ganso bomb just shy of the time limit expiring.
Yolanda Ando: Gozo Shioda is dressed in red tabis, a blood red pair of silky, baggy ninja pants with gold fancy trim going up the sides, and a long black sash is wrapped around his waist. Covered in a traditional japanese tattoo body suit, his long black hair tied back in a pony-tail.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And from the Iga Province of Japan; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds...GOZO SHIODA!!!"
(The audience cheers wildly, and Gozo Shioda hops around, ready for the match to start. Uranium 235's cover of "Spin Me Right Round" and the fans blow the roof off of The Key Arena. Eerie Von and Makoto Jupiter step out)
Makoto Jupiter: "5...4...3...2...1!"
(Tuxedo Mask steps out, slim, trim, ripped and jacked! The crowd gives him an Oprah audience reaction)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tuxedo Mask lost all that weight? How? Atkins?
Phil Blauer: God, I hope not. If I had one more 300 pound man tell me how I needed to watch what I was eating, as he polished off his third steak...
(Tuxedo Mask walks over to the girl Vastrix was talking to and hands her a rose. She blushes and hugs Tux tightly. Vastrix turns red and begins screaming obscenities over the ropes at Tux on the floor)
Yolanda Ando: As his name implies, Tuxedo Mask is wearing a tuxedo...and a mask.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And accompanied to the ring by his bodyguard, Eerie Von; and his manager, Makoto Jupiter; From Tokushima, Japan; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 190 pounds (the audience applauds his weight)...TUXEDO MASK!!!"
(The Key Arena gives Tuxedo Mask a standing ovation, chanting "TUX!! TUX!! TUX!! TUX!! TUX!! TUX!!" Then “Glory” by Peter McEvilley plays and the fans cheer some more for the returning Devon Stevens. The fans chant "Welcome Back! Welcome Back! Welcome Back! Welcome Back! Welcome Back!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: And here comes two time Hardkore America TV Champion and former Hardkore World Light Heavyweight title. He won the Light Heavyweight Match in a nail biter of a contest with Bobby Nowa at McNichols Arena in Denver in 1997. He defeated him with that Zero Grav leg drop. He proudly held that title for 7 months before being pinned with a Japanese Ocean bomb by Ace Kilcannon at the old Great Western Forum in LA.
Phil Blauer: He eventually teamed up with his hated enemy, Bobby Nowa to win the Rotterdam Wrestling Superstars European Tag Team titles. His most famous feud was with the fans in Cleveland. Because of his proud Cincinatti heritage, they would chant "{Mongo Edit: Fuck Off} from 'Natti" until their throats were hoarse.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Which they would promptly quench with some cheap domestic beer.
Yolanda Ando: Devon Steven comes to the ring with a black leather jacket with some black, semi-baggy jeans with dark red trim and black boots. He has some dark red MMA-style gloves and black fishnets on his forearms.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And from Cincinatti, Ohio; Standing 6 feet even; Weighing 217 pounds, Making his Hardkore Return...DEVON STEVENS!!!"
(The crowd gives him a huge pop and continues to chant "Welcome Back! Welcome Back! Welcome Back! Welcome Back! Welcome Back!" Then "Homicidal" by Bad Luck 13 Riot Extravaganza begins playing and The Key Arena rocks with boos)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The fans not anticipating Lucifer Jones' entrance but Gozo Shioda certainly is, as he rubs his hands together, eagerly.
Phil Blauer: Where is he? Come on, we got 10 matches tonight and we're running extremely heavy! He's gonna wind up making them kill the promo for The "Doctor" Phil Show. I have Heath Ledger!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Who?
Phil Blauer: Hey, he was huge after the Patriot! HUGE! He's just in a rut. Don't eyeball me McMannon, I'll smack ya back to the motherland with some shamrocks stuffed up your ass!
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Homicidal" continues to play but no Lucifer Jones...
Phil Blauer: Like who the hell have you ever gotten on this show?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nancy Reagan.
Phil Blauer: ...(pouts)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tux walks over to Carpenter and slaps him!
(Fans "Ooooh", and Carpenter looks back with a mask of rage. Tux gulps. Carpenter pimp slaps Tux back! Syberus knees Devon Stevens in the stomach)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ron Reid has decided to stop waiting for Lucifer Jones and signals for the bell. "God's Gift" Jeremiah Vastrix powerbombs Devon Stevens!! Meanwhile, Carpenter stalks Tuxedo Mask as he backs into a corner. Tux tries to kick Carpenter but he catches Tux's foot.
(Audience boos, as Tux hops on one foot pleading for mercy. Carpenter nods his head, and Tux uses the momentary destraction to enzuigiri kick him! The Key Arena applauds)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tuxedo Mask climbs to the top rope, but Gozo Shioda shakes the ropes and crotches Tux on the top turnbuckle!
Phil Blauer: Too bad. He had just gotten skinny enough to use that part of his anatomy. The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter gut wrench superbombs Tuxedo Mask!!!
(Audience applauds the move as Ron Reid slides into position)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tuxedo Mask gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix and Gozo Shioda double irish whips Devon Stevens into the ropes, but Stevens hops onto the middle of the second rope and asai moonsault body presses both of them!!
(The crowd gives Stevens another round of applause. "Minister" Marty Bower pulls Vastrix's head into his legs, then chicken wings both of his arms)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Marty Bower pulls his former tag team partner up into a cdouble hammerlock backbreaker!! Syberus kicks Gozo Shioda in the ass. The fans boo what is a real show of disrespect to one of our Hardkore legends. Tuxedo Mask catches Gozo looking with a reverse rollover headlock cradle!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Gozo Shioda gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tux gets back to his feet and gets popped in the face by Devon Stevens with a Inazuma leg lariat!
Phil Blauer: Still, it's better than getting pooped in the face. Believe me.
Yolanda Ando: He's right, Guillermo.
Guillermo O'Bannon: ...ok. "God's Gift" Jeremiah Vastrix stomps his heel into Tux's mouth!
Phil Blauer: If your wrestling Sting, you always went to the knee. If your wrestling Tux, go for the looks.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix turns around into a standing dropkick from Carpenter. Gorgeous execution by the younger brother of HPWA star Pheonix. Marty Bower applies a double armlock STF to Vastrix, the man he tagged with in San Francisco.
Yolanda Ando: Alot of us meet men in San Francisco that we never see again. It's part of the rules. A momentary indescretion for a lifetime of memories.
Phil Blauer: Yeah.
(Bower pulls up on Vastrix's bridged arms, while Ron Reid checks in for the submission. Gozo Shioda runs into the ropes and takes Carpenter down with a flying head scissors)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. Shioda chains that head scissors into a triangle choke! Mike Peters enters the ring to see if Carpenter wants to submit, while Ron Reid is busy tending to Jeremiah Vastrix's tapping out needs.
Phil Blauer: So what do you think happened to Lucifer Jones?
Guillermo O'Bannon: If I had to guess, I'd say it probably has something to do with the man running around and masquerading as him. He probably got to him before the match.
Phil Blauer: It figures. I have someone running around here with a Phil Blauer mask on. He runs into the ladies bathroom and waits for them in their cars.
Yolanda Ando: I've seen that guy! He was in the women's locker room sniffing panties and masturbating feverishly.
Phil Blauer: That's exactly what I'm talking about! It's an epidemic I tell you!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus bashes Bower in the back of the head with a forearm smash to break that double armlock STF. Meanwhile, Carpenter is turning three shades of red from lack of air.
(Tuxedo Mask backflips off the top rope into a shooting star X factor on Marty Bower!! The crowd cheers and begins chanting "TUX!! TUX!! TUX!! TUX!! TUX!!" Shioda tries to squeeze as much air out of Carpenter's sides as he can with his legs, while he clamps down on his windpipe with his powerful forearm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter reaching out for the ropes, but Shioda rolls him onto his other side, and continues to squeeze the life out of him. Jeremiah Vastrix knife edge drops Shioda in the ribs, breaking the triangle choke on Carpenter.
(Devon Stevens climbs out to the apron and slingshots himself on to the middle of the top rope. He comes off with a springboard dropkick to Tuxedo Mask!! The crowd comes alive and chants "DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter gets underneath "Minister" Marty Bower's legs and lifts him up into an electric chair. Bower doesn't like where this is going, and Carpenter drops him facefirst into an electric chair bomb!! Syberus karate chops Gozo Shioda across the chest.
(Syberus cracks Mr. Shioda with several more chops. Carpenter gets on top of Bower's back and applies his kataha-jime crippler crossface)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter trying to choke out the good reverand with his Death Row finisher!! Bower turning red from lack of oxygen, as Carpenter uses those powerful arms to pull up on his neck and head. Meanwhile on the other side of the ring, Tuxedo Mask comes up from behind the stunned Shioda and atomic drops his groin on the top rope!
(Bower reaches his hand out for the bottom rope, Ron Reid's shirt, Carpenter's metal goalie mask, anything. Carpenter grunts and yanks up on Marty's head & throat as hard as he can. Tuxedo Mask climbs up to the second rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tuxedo Mask grabs Shioda by the hair and slaps him a few times across the face! He jumps off the second rope and dropkicks the perched Shioda off the rope to the floor below!!
(The fans pop for Tux, but inside the ring, Marty Bower can take no more of The Death Row and taps out!! The audience boos Carpenter)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Once again, "Minister" Marty Bower taps out. In Palm Springs, it was to The Brunomission. This time it was to The Death Row.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 9 minutes 16 seconds; 'MINISTER' MARTY BOWER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon Stevens gets a running start and leaps over the top rope into a Shinkansen elbow smash to Gozo Shioda!!
(Both men smack into the railing with a sickening clang! The audience chants "DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!!" Inside the ring, "God's Gift" Jeremiah Vastrix presses Tuxedo Mask over his head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix hits an ace crusher out of the presslam on Tux!! The ladies represent with a loud pop.
Phil Blauer: I think that was for me. I just ran my comb through my hair. Chicks dig seeing the do in action.
(Devon Stevens takes a swing at Gozo Shioda, but he ducks and belly to back suplexes the back of his head onto the steel ring steps!! The fans wince at the sound ricocheting through The Key Arena. A man in the front row suddenly takes off his fake beard and pulls his hooded sweatshirt off to reveal a a faded and well worn sleaveless GG Allin t-shirt. He has some well worn combat boots on, black leather and leopard print multi-zippered tight punk style pants tucked into the boots, black fingerless gloves, and black taping going up both forearms. It's Lucifer Jones with a barbed wire bat and he hops over the railing)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones suddenly hops over the barricades from the first row seats and joins the fray wielding a barbed wire wrapped baseball bat! He's been in the front row, watching this match all night!
Phil Blauer: I though that was Fred Durst trying to dress down.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones bashes Gozo Shioda in the back of the head with that barbed wire baseball bat!! Again! He inverted facelocks Shioda...
Phil Blauer: Will we see The Yankee Cracker? Which when you think of it, is redundant.
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, Jones gives his former trainer a Fuck The Stigmata on The Key Arena floor!!!
(The audience boos, and Jones flips them off. Then flips the wrestlers in the ring off. Syberus catches a shocked and distracted Jeremiah Vastrix with a small package)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Jeremiah Vastrix kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter steps through the ropes out on to the apron, and catches Syberus getting up with a missle dropkick!
(Tuxedo Mask gets a running start and baseball slides under the bottom rope into a helicopter rana on Lucifer Jones!! The Seattle crowd pops and chants "TUX!! TUX!! TUX!! TUX!! TUX!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix rolls out of the ring and irish whips Tux into the guardrail! A group of female fans get up, and Vastrix points to a "boo-boo" that Tux caused. But instead of avenging him, the women start feeling Tux up! Vastrix is enraged and charges in with a clothesline sending Tux over the railing into the front row!
(Devon Stevens rolls into the ring and climbs to the top rope. He waits for Syberus to turn around, then nails him in the face with a Black Rain kneestrike!! Syberus drops to the mat, clutching his face and screaming)
Phil Blauer: Syberus looking like Brutus Beefcake's vacation videos there!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gozo Shioda gingerly rolls into the ring and irish whips Syberus into the ropes. He tiltawhirls him into a ganso bomb!!
(The audience chants "GO-ZO!! GO-ZO!! GO-ZO!! GO-ZO!! GO-ZO!! GO-ZO!!" Lucifer Jones rolls back into the ring and Gozo Shioda attempts to give Jones a thundering roundhouse back heel kick, but Jones ducks under it allowing the kick to smash Syberus in the face)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones gets up under the leg of Gozo Shioda, lifting him up on his shoulders and powerbombing him onto the stomach of the fallen Syberus!!
(Crowd has to give it up for that move, and begrudgingly applauds. Tuxedo Mask climbs over the railing, and Carpenter climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter corkscrews off the top rope with a twisting plancha to Tux on the floor!!
(The fans applaud that move, and Carpenter front facelocks Tuxedo Mask. Tux blocks the DDT)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tuxedo Mask F5's Carpenter's throat on the railing!! Carpenter rolls around the arena floor, coughing and trying to catch his wind, and Tux rolls back into the ring.
(Tux walks over to Devon Stevons and goes for a suplex but Devon blocks it. Steven reverses it with a fisherman's suplex but in mid-air turns it into a high angle spinebuster!! The crowd applauds Stevens liquifying of Tux's vertebrae)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix climbs to the top rope, but Syberus shakes the ropes and Vastrix is crotched on the top turnbuckle. Tux climbs to the second rope, but Vastrix slugs him with a right hand. Vastrix double underhooks Tux's arms and front flips off the top rope into a dominator!! Vastrix hits Tux's very own Moonlight Waltz!!
Phil Blauer: T.O. steals touchdown dances, God's Gift steals finishers.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 14 minutes 54 seconds; TUXEDO MASK HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!"
(Crowd boos Tuxedo Mask's elimination, and he dejectedly walks back to the locker room. Lucifer Jones retrieves his barbed wire bat and rolls back into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter lifts up Vastrix in a stalling suplex, and on the way down, Lucifer swings as hard as he can into Vastrix's stomach with that barbed wire wrapped baseball bat!!
(Carpenter looks at Jones as if to say "Thanks, man!" and Jones breaks the bat over his head!! The audience cheers the betrayal. Syberus applies a dragon sleeper on Carpenter)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus pulls back on the head & neck of Carpenter, as blood starts to run from the wound on the top of his head. Devon Stevens irish whips Gozo Shioda into the ropes, but Shioda ducks underneath a roundhouse kick, and goes behind Stevens. He runs him into the ropes and rolls back into a Gedo Clutch cradle!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Devon Stevens pulls Gozo back into his own cradle)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Gozo Shioda kicks out)
(Audience applauds this fast paced match and all the competitors in it. Mike Peters is checking in to see if Carpenter wants to tap out to the dragon sleeper. Carpenter gets close to the rope, so Syberus pulls him out into the middle of the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter reaches up and rakes Syberus' eyes with his nails. Carpenter gets to his feet and snap suplexes a blinded Syberus. Carpenter irish whips Syberus into Gozo Shioda who back body drops him into a belly to back piledriver!!
(The audience chants "GO-ZO!! GO-ZO!! GO-ZO!! GO-ZO!! GO-ZO!! GO-ZO!!" Devon Stevens has Jeremiah Vastrix in a front facelock then drops his feet on the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon Stevens slingshot DDTs Vastrix!! Steven climbs to the top rope. He backflips into the Zero Grav legdrop but Vastrix rolls out of the way!
(Audience boos Vastrix, while the women root for him to get up with high pitched squeals. Vastrix pulls Devon Stevens up by the hair and knees him in the back of the head. Lucifer Jones goes over to his broken bat and pulls out the barbed wire. He wraps the barbed wire around his right fist and forearm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones bashes Jeremiah Vastrix in the face with a barbed wire clothesline! Carpenter runs over and catches one for his trouble as well!
(Lucifer Jones pulls Devon Stevens up by the hair and irish whips him into the ropes and bashes him in the face with a barbed wire clothesline!! Syberus ducks under his)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones goes into the ropes and leapfrogs over Syberus' leapfrog attempt. Syberus turns around and is bashed in the face with that barbed wire!!
(Audience boos Lucifer Jones who has now cleared the ring with multiple clotheslines. All of them lie around him, bleeding. Lucifer spots Gozo and chokes him with the barbed wire)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones making Gozo Shioda into a macabre sight with that barbed wire! A bloody Devon Stevens grabs Vastrix by the head in an inverted facelock and flips over into a diamond dust!!
(Lucifer Jones gets a sadistic grin over his face as he yanks that barbed wire into his former sensai's throat! Carpenter irish whips a bleeding Syberus into the ropes and tiltawhirl backbreakers him! The crowd boos)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix & Carpenter double irish whips Syberus into the ropes and take him out with a double karate chop! Vastrix inside cradles Syberus!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Syberus kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter pulls Syberus up and scoops him up onto his shoulder, but Syberus floats behind him with a reverse DDT!!
(Lucifer Jones finally lets Gozo Shioda go and climbs up to the top rope. Devon Stevens shakes the ropes and crotches Lucifer on the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon Stevens climbs to the second rope but Jones blocks whatever Devon was going to do with a vicious thumb to the eye, then gives him the London Air Raid off the top turnbuckle to the outside onto...us???
Phil Blauer: ABANDON DESK!!!
(Stevens and Lucifer crash through the announce table, sending Phil and Guillermo running like roaches with the light on!! The fans chant "HO-LY SHIT!!! HO-LY SHIT!!! HO-LY SHIT!!! HO-LY SHIT!!! HO-LY SHIT!!!" Inside the ring, a blood drenched Gozo Shioda irish whips Vastrix into the ropes and takes him down into a drop toe hold. Shioda holds onto the leg, and springs onto Vastrix's back with a crossface chicken wing STF! Vastrix screams out in pain as Shioda pulls up on his head & arms! Ron Reid checks in to see if Vastrix wants to submit and he looks close to. Syberus hovers over Vastrix's face and bludgeons him with right hands while he's trapped in the STF. The furious punches are opening up the cut over Vastrix's eye, making blood seep through the eyeholes of his porcelain mask. Lucifer Jones is finally up and rolls Devon Stevens into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: ...ok, I think we're on. Fans, Lucifer Jones used the hurling body of Devon Stevens to destroy our announce position, but we're back on. Inside the ring, you have Gozo Shioda and Syberus pairing up to make Jeremiah Vastrix a bloody mess!
(Ron Reid checks in to see if he wants to tap out, and Vastrix holds up his good arm to tap but holds back. Lucifer Jones inverted facelocks a blood soaked Devon Stevens)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer lifts Devon up into a inverted suplex and then wrenches his neck around into The Dog's Bollocks brainbuster!!!
(Fans boo, as Lucifer Jones makes a confident cover)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 21 minutes 23 seconds; DEVON STEVENS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: We've gotta go to break!
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Apr 20, 2005#38
Hardkore World becomes just that when Hardkore Northeast returns in Cleveland!
Chaos In Cleveland:
From the CSU Convocation Center in Cleveland, Ohio.
Hardkore Northeast Tri~State Championship Tourney:
Kilroy Evans vs. Kid Styles
Johnny Reavis Vs. ???? (RHIII has a special opponent lined up for Mr. Reavis, only Johnny wont know it until match time)
Adrian Tanner Jr Vs. Phoenix
Pagan Vs. The Rising Sun
Pedro “El Gallo” Santiago Vs. Trine
The Icon Vs. Reginald P. Packer
Also, Hardkore Northeast owner Robert Hunglestein III will have a special announcement, most likely involving the stripping, and firing of the Northeastern Champion Soutter…
Contact RH3 to join Hardkore Northeast!
(Fade back to the Key Arena, where Gozo Shioda releases the crossface chicken wing STF, and pulls Vastrix up. He irish whips him, but Jeremiah reverses the irish whip and sends Shioda into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Welcome back fans. It's been crazy here! Vastrix follows him in and baseball slide kicks Shioda's calves, tripping him and sending him out of the ring! Carpenter climbs to the top turnbuckle and corkscrew dropkicks Shioda into the railing!!
(Crowd applauds this classic match. Lucifer Jones irish whips Jeremiah Vastrix into Syberus who drives Vastrix's bloody face into the canvas with a flapjack! Vastrix's porcelain mask is shattered. Carpenter rolls Gozo Shioda onto the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter attempts to suplex Shioda off the apron, but Shioda blocks it with his calf. Shioda reverses the suplex into a piledriver off the apron!!!
(The audience cheers wildly at the site of Carpenter's skull drilling the concrete! The cut at the top of Carpenter's head leaves a large smear on The Key Arena floor. Lucifer Jones is hunched over in the corner, fiddling with his hands)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix staggers up to his feet, and Lucifer Jones throws fire into God's Gift's face!!! The women of Seattle gasp, and Vastrix staggers back into Syberus who single underhook Pure Confidence DDTs him!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 23 minutes 36 seconds, 'GOD'S GIFT' JEREMIAH VASTRIX HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!"
(Lucius Morgan & Tarrasque run over to Jeremiah Vastrix and pour bottles of water on his face. They then press wet towels on the burned areas and help him out of the ring area. Gozo Shioda rolls into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: And then there were four. Carpenter, Gozo Shioda, Lucifer Jones, and Syberus are all that remain. Shioda lifts Syberus up on to his shoulders, then runs into the center of the ring for a death valley driver!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Syberus kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones takes that strand of barbed wire and sits on Syberus' back.
Phil Blauer: This can't be good.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones puts Syberus in that nasty face ripper camel clutch, but adds to the effect by wrapping the barbed wire around his face!!
(Crowd gasps in horror as the barbed wire cuts into Syberus's face. Lucifer Jones is screaming at him "You'll fuckin' remember my name now, motherfucker!!! LUCIFER FUCKIN' JONES!!!" A bloody Carpenter climbs onto the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter comes off the top with a diving elbow smash to an unsuspecting Gozo Shioda! He climbs to the top again, but this time Mr. Shioda rolls out of the way of his moonsault!!
(The audience applauds and Shioda measures Lucifer Jones in the face with the stiff thrust kick that can be heard throughout The Key Arena)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Two of the bloodiest guys in the ring, Syberus & Gozo Shioda go for a double suplex on Lucifer Jones. He counters it by flipping over the both of them, grabbing them both in an over the shoulder neckbreaker position, and gives them both the Yankee Cracker at the same time!!!
(The audience boos Lucifer Jones, and cheers when Carpenter hits him with a running DDT! Carpenter rolls Jones over and covers him)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Lucifer Jones kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter pulls Syberus up by the hair, but Syberus is playing possum, and comes up with an uppercut to his face. Syberus dumps him over his head into a northern lights suplex!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Carpenter gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gozo Shioda climbs up to the top rope. he comes off with a huracanrana but Lucifer Jones reverses it into a sitdown jumping ganso bomb!! He holds the legs!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: And Lucifer Jones eliminates another one!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 26 minutes 54 seconds; GOZO SHIODA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!"
(Carpenter doesn't allow for alot of celebration from Lucifer Jones with a cobra clutch suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus catches Carpenter from behind and runs him into the ropes for a roll up!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Carpenter gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones inside cradles Syberus! Ron Reid slides into position, but Jones puts his foot on the ropes for leverage!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Syberus kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones front facelocks Syberus and climbs to the second rope. Carpenter climbs through the ropes out to the apron. Jones goes for a tornado DDT but Syberus reverses it into a spinebuster! Carpenter comes off the middle of the top rope with a springboard shooting star leg drop to Lucifer Jones!!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr...(Lucifer Jones kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter bashes Lucifer Jones in the face with his metal hockey mask with several headbutts until Jones has a bloody nose! Carpenter sets him up for a russian leg sweep but Jones rolls forward into a stepover cradle! He's got a hold of the tights!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr...(Carpenter kicks out)
(Jones slaps Carpenter hard across the face, then spits in his face. He grabs Carpenter by the ears and screams "Piss off, you cunt!" in his face. Lucifer then pulls Carpenter up and irish whips him into Syberus)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus catches Carpenter with a powerslam!! He hooks Carpenter's leg!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Carpenter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus catches Lucifer Jones running at him and drop toe holds him over into a single leg boston crab! Syberus yanks Jones' leg back towards his head.
(Carpenter begins laying the boots to Jones' face, wiping the spit off his mask, disgusted. Ron Reid checks in to see if he wants to tap but Lucifer refuses)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A bleeding Syberus releases the single leg and pulls Lucifer Jones up by his mohawk. He irish whips him into the turnbuckles. Syberus irish whips Carpenter into a stinger splash at Carpenter in the corner!
(Carpenter climbs to the second rope and monkey flips Lucifer Jones across the ring! Carpenter gets on the top turnbuckle, but Syberus pulls his leg down and crotches him on the top rope! Carpenter is crotched on the top strand, and Lucifer Jones comes over and full nelsons him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones release dragon suplexes Carpenter from that very uncomfortable position!! He smacks Syberus one right between the eyes. Syberus ducks another one and fireman's carries him over into a sleeper hold.
(Lucifer Jones struggles to get out but Syberus gets position advantage over him, and pushes him down to the mat. Syberus turns it into a European three quarter nelson, with Jones facedown on the mat. He wrings Jones' wrist while pulling up on his head)
Phil Blauer: Syberus trying to make that european three qaurter nelson as painful as possible, after what Jones did to him with that barbed wire.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter is standing on the top rope and swanton bombs on top of both Jones & Syberus!! Carpenter pulls Syberus up and powerbombs him hard into the mat!!
(Lucifer Jones comes from behind Carpenter and lifts him up into an electric chair. Jones then drops him in a Japanese ocean bomb!! Carpenter rolls into the corner and Lucifer Jones begins lying the boots to him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones really disrespecting Carpenter, bludgeoning him in the corner with rights and lefts. He kicks Carpenter in the face. He picks Carpenter up and sits him on the top turnbuckle. Syberus climbs to the second rope and superplexes him!! Syberus floats over into a pin!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Carpenter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus front facelocks Carpenter and then drops his stomach onto his knee. Lucifer Jones double underhooks his arms, and lifts him up onto his shoulder. The White Chapel Horror drives him down into a piledriver from that height!!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones has eliminated three men!
Phil Blauer: Well he did get here about 10 minutes late.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 35 minutes 45 seconds; CARPENTER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carpenter nearly 36 minutes in there and the Seattle fans giving him a standing ovation on the way out. Lucifer Jones and Syberus now circling one another. Syberus hits him hard in the guts with a punch, then an elbow shot to his diaphragm. Syberus finishes him off on his knees with a side kick to the head.
(Lucifer grabs him by the front of his trunks, driving him facefirst into the turnbuckle. He waistlocks Syberus and drops him on the top of his head with a snap backdrop driver!! The Seattle crowd boos)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones grabs Syberus by the legs and lifts him up into a wheelbarrow powerbomb!! Jones rolls him over into a boston crab!
(Jones sits on his back as Syberus bleeds a pool underneath his face. Lucifer screams over his back, "Tap, ya tit!!" Syberus grabs onto the bottom rope and Ron Reid forces Lucifer Jones to release the crab)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones lets go of the crab and runs into the ropes, he soccer kicks Syberus in the face while he's on his hands and knees!
Phil Blauer: Over there, they call it football. But they don't have a word for dental hygiene.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones climbs the top turnbuckle and comes off with a plancha, but Syberus reverses it with a backbreaker. He grabs Jones' legs and returns the favor with a boston crab. He gave Lucifer Jones a single leg version earlier in the match, now giving him the full treatment.
(Syberus plants his feet and yanks back on Jones' legs. Jones crawls over to the ropes, but when he gets close, Syberus walks him back out to the center of the ring and reapplies it! The Key Arena applauds his predicament)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus releases the boston crab and pulls Lucifer Jones up by the mohawk. He sets him up for a suplex but drops him into a brainbuster!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Lucifer Jones kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus irish whips Jones into the corner, he rushes in with a clothesline, but Jones drop toe holds him facefirst into the second turnbuckle! Lucifer Jones applies and STF!!
(Ron Reid checks in and some fans have picked a side and are urging Syberus not to tap out. Jones changes his mind and switches it up into a buffalo sleeper)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones rocking back on the buffalo sleeper but Syberus not giving it in! He pulls him up to his feet in a chicken wing crossface and drops him back, releases him, and catches him with a hammerlock neckbreaker he calls The NeckBuster!!
(Lucifer Jones climbs to the top turnbuckle and measures Syberus, framing him with his hands. The White Chapel Horror comes off with a leg drop across Syberus' face!! The crowd boos while Jones makes a cover)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Syberus thumbs Lucifer Jones in the eye)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus gets to his feet and slaps Jones hard across the face! Jones gets up and charges Syberus and gets caught in a flapjack!
(Syberus waits for Jones to get to his feet, then runs into the ropes. He dropkicks Jones in the ball of his kneecap. Jones leg crumples underneath him, and Syberus spinning toe holds him. He smiles in Jones face and then drops backwards into a figure four leglock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus sitting up and dropping back down, trying to make that figure four agonizing. Lucifer Jones reaches out for the ropes but nothing's close. Syberus sits up and clamps down on Jones' twisted legs.
Phil Blauer: Syberus has been softening Jones' leg up for the entire match for this move!
(Lucifer Jones turns the figure four over and then it's Ron Reid asking the crimson masked Syberus if he wants to submit. Syberus is forced to release Jones' legs and crawl away)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones limps over to Syberus and pulls his head into his legs. He lifts him up into a crucifix, and limps over to the ropes where he deposits Syberus into the guardrail!!!
(Fans react with disbelief and give both men a huge pop. Lucifer Jones limps down to the floor and lifts Syberus up into an atomic drop, then runs his groin into the corner post! Syberus eyes cross)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones german suplexes the back of Syberus' head into the guardrail!! Ugh, did you hear the sound of Syberus' skull hitting that steel?
Phil Blauer: (listening to his headphones, singing) "Hold the line...Love isn't always on time!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones coming over here and...hey!! That's mine! (Lucifer glares at him) But I'm almost done...
(Jones drinks the rest of Guillermo's Killian's Irish Red and then smashes the business end of it over Syberus' head!! Blood flows freely from two new cuts over Syberus' eye)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer taking the glass shard and stabbing it into Syberus' forehead!! He gets that sadistic grin back and jabs it into Syberus' arm over & over.
(Jones takes a hand and swipes it across Syberus' forehead. He licks the blood off of his fingers and laughs maniacally)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones turns around and Syberus spears him into the apron! Syberus goes nuts battering a trapped Jones with a mad flurry of punches & chops! He knees Jones in the kidneys then pops him in the face with a stiff kick to the cheek.
(Syberus sets Jones up and vertical suplexes his back across the railing!! Syberus looks as if he's been dipped headfirst in blood as he rolls back into the ring. After laboring for several moments, Syberus climbs out of the crowd and back up to the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones headbutts Syberus in the groin and pulls his feet out from under him. He arranges Syberus so his head's hanging off the apron, and goes and gets a chair.
Phil Blauer: This will do nothing to further these guys' relationship.
(Lucifer Jones winds back and brains Syberus in the face with the chair so bad, he flips down to the arena floor!! The fans boo)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The White Chapel Horror just about caved Syberus' skull in with that chair!
Phil Blauer: That chair is now dented and covered in English blueblood!
(Jones rolls Syberus back into the ring, who's hair & scalp are soaked with blood. It drips down his face like a faucet. Jones sets him up for a cradle suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones drops Syberus headfirst with a fisherman's buster!! He links it into a butterfly submission hold!
Phil Blauer: Jones sits back on Syberus's head & arms as Syberus adds buckets of DNA to the canvas there.
(Syberus shakes his head "no" as Ron Reid keeps begging him to quit. The fans are on their feet, rooting Syberus on. Jones becomes frustrated and says "Fuck all" and releases Syberus. He limps through the ropes out to the apron, waiting for Syberus to get up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones comes off the middle of the top rope with a springboard tornado DDT!!
(The impact makes Syberus to bounce back up to his knees, then falls facefirst to the canvas! Jones springs onto him in a pinning position)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr...(Syberus gets his foot on the rope)
(The Key Arena gives both men a standing ovation, as they lie side by side, completely exhausted. Lucifer Jones gets to his feet first and pulls him up for a suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: But Syberus floats over behind Jones and runs him into the ropes and rolls back into a backroll press!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr...(Lucifer Jones rolls his shoulder up)
(The crowd gives another round of applause for the close fall. Jones is back up but Syberus is waiting for him with a swinging neckbreaker)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus irish whips Jones into the ropes and clotheslines him. Jones gets up and Syberus whacks him with another clothesline, that sends Jones down to one knee. Syberus kicks Jones in the face to send him to the mat.
(Syberus climbs to the top rope, with rubbery legs. He comes off with a devastating elbow drop to Jones' broken nose!! The crowd gives Syb a huge pop, as he lays an arm across Lucifer Jones)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr...(Lucifer Jones thrusts his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus pulls Jones up with a chicken wing, but Lucifer pops him with a back elbow. Jones irish whips Syberus into the ropes and tiltawhirl facefirst slams him!!
(Audience applauds the match, and Jones applies a wakigatame armbar! Syberus leaves large blood stains on the mat where Lucifer presses his face into the canvas)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus in a bad spot with Jones pushing up on his arm with that wakigatame?
Phil Blauer: That what?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones switches it up into a Stranglehold Alpha!!
Phil Blauer: A who?
(Lucifer Jones pulls up on Syberus' arm with his head at such an angle that he's bleeding all over his leopard print multi-zippered pants. Syberus yelps out in pain with each yank)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones grabs him by his legs again and this time gives him a wheelbarrow german suplex with a bridge!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Syberus rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones fireman's carries Syberus up onto his shoulder but Syberus rolls him back into a crucifix cradle!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Lucifer Jones rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus rolls it into a jigoku-jimi choke!!
Phil Blauer: Guillermo, I think I may be having a stroke, all your words are sounding slurred...I'm all clammy. Feel my hands...
Guillermo O'Bannon: Get off me, Phil! Syberus rolls onto his back, and Lucifer Jones falls to his side. These two are exhausted. Ron Reid raises Lucifer's arm, and it falls to his side.
(The ref lifts his arm again, and again it falls to his side. Syberus clamps down on Jones throat and Ron Reid lifts his arm again)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Syberus is forced to break the jigoku-jimi)
Phil Blauer: Syberus' shoulders were pinned to the mat there, otherwise this match could have been over!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus lifts Jones up in a suplex but then drops it into a neckbreaker! Syberus shakily climbs to the top rope from inside the ring, on rubbery legs. He backflips into a moonsault but there's no water in the pool!!
(The fans boo as Syberus rolls around, clutching his abdomen. Lucifer Jones grabs him with an inverted facelock, and then lifts him up into a hanging inverted vertical
suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus rolls up out of The Dog's Bollocks into The Highlight Cutter!!! He grabs Lucifer Jones up into a single underhook and hits The Pure Confidence DDT!!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Unbelievable! After close to an hour, wrestling with seven of Hardkore World's best wrestlers, Syberus emerges as the new Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Champion!!
(“This Celluloid Dream” by AFI plays through The Key Arena as the audience gives both men a standing ovation for an easy match of the year candidate. Syberus scoots back into the corner and leans against the bottom turnbuckle trying to catch his breath)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 52 minutes 47 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH; AND NEW HARDKORE WORLD LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...SYBERUS!!!"
(Ron Reid hands a bloond drenched Syberus the heavy light heavyweight title belt, and he slings it over his shoulder, while still slumped in the corner)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones grabs a bloody and helpless Syberus in an inverted facelock.
Phil Blauer: He wasn't so helpless he couldn't pin him two seconds ago.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Before Lucifer can hit The Dog's Bollocks, that masked man slides into the ring...but Lucifer's ready for him!! He drops Syberus and lights the masked man up with rights and lefts! He pulls the masked Jones up into a sit out ganso bomb!!
(The masked Lucifer Jones rolls around dazed, as the real Jones lays the boots to him. He hocks a big loogie and spits on him and then grabs the house mic)
"The White Chapel Horror" Lucifer Jones: "You see this!? You see the carnage I left in me wake!? Now stop hiding behind MY bloody mask and show yourself, you stinkin' coward!"
(The crowd roars in anticipation as Lucifer Jones slaps him across the face. He unlaces the back of the red mask and pulls it off)
Guillermo O'Bannon: It's Dan Stein!! Dan Stein has been masquerading around as Lucifer Jones?
Phil Blauer: Once he lost that game show, the rumor is he went bat shit crazy. Walks around going, "W. is for Women".
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's Ben Stein, Phil.
(The look of shock on Lucifer Jones' face turns to anger, but before he can move in, Domino runs in and drags Stein out of the ring. Lucifer Jones chases after them up the aisleway)
Guillermo O'Bannon: With that madness over with, Syberus is now all who is left in the ring with the Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Championship strapped around his waist. For twelve years, the best wrestlers in the world have competed for that title. Now Syberus will go down with names like Ace Kilcannon, Gozo Shioda, Tuxedo Mask, El Hombre Murcie'Lago, and Kentaro Korose as one of the best pound for pound wrestlers in the World!
(Camera pans over a tall steel cage. The ring crew is putting their finishing touches on it)
Guillermo O'Bannon: And now time for our main event. Last year, Hardkore World's driving force was a group known as The Un-Stable. The members included Hero, Cobryn, Robert Hunglestien III, Andrew Karnage, and Kilroy Evans. After a few months where he wasn't the center of attention, Cobryn finally betrayed his partners during a defense of their Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Titles against The Tengu Clan by hitting The Answer on Andrew Karnage. It was up to the leader, Robert Hunglestien III to defend the honor of the group. He lost his Hardkore America title and suffered a career ending back injury for his effort. Now it's up to Andrew Karnage to try and exact some revenge and hopefully win the Hardkore America Championship in the process.
Phil Blauer: Why do people get such hurt feelings when wrestlers turn on one another to break up a group? Sometimes it's for the best. Imagine if there still was a Varsity Club? A bunch of 40 & 50 year olds running around in collegiate singlets and pining for their college days over twenty years ago?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Still, it was the last time Rick Steiner was interesting.
("Black Betty" by Spiderbait plays and The Hardkore World Tag Team Champions The Miracle Violence Combination II walk down to the ring. One fan holds up a sing reading "Canseco Fears Ratting Out Karnage". The Seattle fans cheer when Andrew Karnage grabs the chainlink fence and shake it violently)
Guillermo O'Bannon: During the weeks long promo fests, Cobryn brought up the fact that while Karnage has won the Xtreme World Wrestling League Heavyweight title, the Ultra Wrestling Confederacy World title, the World Wrestling On-Line World title, IWA Deathmatch title and IWA International title along with scores of tag team titles with Kilroy; he has never won the big one.
Phil Blauer: Xtreme World Wrestling League seems pretty big. It's a title covering the entire World, of Wrestling...Xtreme Wrestling...League.
Guillermo O'Bannon: As we stated earlier, Kilroy Evans has taken advantage of Hardkore's newest regions. He's entered the Hardkore Northeast Tri-State Title Tournament. His first round opponent is Kid Styles in Cleveland.
Yolanda Ando: Andrew Karnage is wearing some black knee length basketball shorts with "AK-47" down the outsides of each leg in dark red. Dark red kneepads, and black calf high boots with red laces, and has a black elbow supporter on his right elbow.
Phil Blauer: Well, it's good to see he's well liked in the African American community.
Guillermo O'Bannon: It's more like an elbow pad, Phil.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following is the Main Event of the evening. It is a Steel Cage Match scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit; and is for the HARDKORE AMERICA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by Kilroy Evans; from Orem, Utah; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 257 pounds; He is One Half of the HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...ANDREW KARNAGE!!!"
(The Key Arena is deafening, as Kilroy Evans opens the cage door and gives a 'After you' gesture. Then "No Quarter" by Led Zepplin plays and the building gets stone silent. Then Cobryn walks out in a black silk robe that trails behind him a good four feet. The venom from the fans is evident in the soda cups & water bottles being tossed his way)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn has raised the ire of these fans with his racist comments about Bruno, as well as his recent parody of the dead pope.
Phil Blauer: Not me. My ire's fine.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I think that's the point.
Yolanda Ando: Cobryn wears regular black tights and has tanned skin. He also wears black wrestling boots, and has a large brace on his arm.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent; from Key Largo of the Florida Keys; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 250 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE AMERICA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...COBRYN!!!"
(The Key Arena rocks with boos, as Cobryn wipes his boots on the apron, and steps into the cage. Karnage grabs him by the hair and yanks him over the top rope and into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn hits Karnage in the groin and then rocks him with another punch. He backs Karnage into the ropes and pops him with a few hard chops to the chest.
(The Seattle fans "Woooo" with each one, and then Karnage returns with a few chops of his own. Karnage half nelson hammerlocks Cobryn)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage hits an Icepick Suplex!!
(The crowd roars, as Cobryn covers the back of his neck and scoots away from Karnage. Karnage will not be denied as he grabs two handfuls of Cobryn's hair and whips him hard into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage smacks him upside the head with a yakuza kick! Karnage whips Cobryn hard into the turnbuckles! Karnage hovers over him and bashes him with several vader forearms into the corner until he drops to his butt.
(Karnage bootscrapes him three to four times and finishes him off with a Facewash bootscrape! Cobryn pretends to cover his face, but sneaks a pair of brass knuckles out of his trunks)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn clocks Andrew Karnage in the face with those brass knuckles!! Karnage staggers around the ring, with a cut over his eye. Cobryn dragon suplexes Karnage!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn gets underneath Karnage's legs and lifts gim upside down into a gory special. He flips him forward into a facefirst gory driver!
(Fans boo Cobryn, who flips off a particularly rowdy fan in the front row. He pulls Karnage's head into his legs, but Karnage blocks a piledriver)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage reverses a piledriver with an alabama slammer!!
(Crowd cheers, and Karnage wipes some blood out of his eyes. He irish whips Cobryn into the ropes and belly to belly suplexes his face into the steel cage!! The Key Arena comes alive as Cobryn lolligags around the ring with some new color over his eye)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage double underhooks Cobryn's arms and lifts him up into a Tiger Buster brainbuster!!
(Karnage pulls Cobryn up in a front facelock, but Cobryn rolls out of it into a rude awakening! The fans boo as Cobryn does the "All done" gesture with his hands)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A bloody Cobryn gut wrenches him up into a ganso bomb!! He holds onto Karnage's legs.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn mounts a fallen Andrew Karnage and punches him over & over, leaving him a bloody mess. He pulls Karnage up by the hair, but Andrew ducks underneath a punch and german suplexes Cobryn!
(Karnage pulls Cobryn up in a full nelson and then dragon suplexes him! He lifts Cobryn up a third time and straightjackets his arms)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage drops Cobryn back in the Pride Cycle!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage hoists Cobryn up on to his shoulders and then running death valley drivers him!!
(Karnage grabs Cobryn by the throat and lifts him high up into the air, the crowd lovingly cheers his predictament. Karnage chokeslams Cobryn on to his knee!! Cobryn flops around, clutching his back)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage waits for Cobryn to get to his feet, and rushes him with that Nightmare Lariot, but Cobryn catches him and flapjacks his face into the steel cage!!
(Andrew Karnage's face slides down the cage. Cobryn rakes Karnage's face back & forth across the steel cage, bloodying him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn half nelsons Karnage and drops him back into a t-bone suplex!!
(Cobryn pulls Karnage up by his blood soaked hair. Cobryn swings at him with a right hand, but Karnage ducks and gives him a high angle backdrop driver!! The fans cheer)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage grabs Cobryn's arm and chicken wings it behind his back. Karnage scoops the champ up and running powerslams him onto his hammerlocked injured arm!!
(The Seattle fans chant "KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!!" as Cobryn rolls around, clutching his injured arm. Karnage pulls him up and drops him backwards into an exploder '98)
Phil Blauer: That exploder was SO 98.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage pulls Cobryn up by his injured arm, but Cobryn pulls him in and shortarm clotheslines him! Cobryn half nelson hammerlocks Karnage and delivers his own version of the Icepick Suplex!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage rolls his shoulder up)
(Fans boo as Cobryn mimics some of Karnage's mannerisms. Kilroy Evans shakes the cage in a threatening manner at Cobryn)
Phil Blauer: Ooh, that was scary. I saw Kilroy do the same thing when they closed a Baskin Robbins in Tacoma.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn pulls Andrew Karnage up into an inverted crucifix, and then runs his face into the steel cage!!
(Karnage is a sickening, bloody mess. He lies near the ropes, bleeding all over himself. Cobryn uses the cage to pull himself up to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage climbs up to the second rope and hammers Cobryn in the face several times. He drops Cobryn on his head with a black tiger bomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage drops Cobryn on his head with a head & arm Icepick Suplex 2K1!!
Phil Blauer: 2001, that's a little more current!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage gut wrenches Cobryn up on his shoulder and runs across the ring with an Origin Bomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage front facelocks Cobryn but Cobryn lifts him up into a fireman's carry. He airplane spins Karnage and then tosses him facefirst into the steel cage!! It looks like Cobryn's got a strategy and he's sticking to it.
Phil Blauer: Making me physically ill?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, that's just a sweet perk. He's trying to make Karnage such a bloody mess he'll be unable to continue. Cobryn waits for Karnage to get up, and hits him with his own Nightmare Lariot!!
(The Key Arena is deafening with boos. Cobryn runs into the ropes, as Karnage gets on his knees, Cobryn rocks him in the temple with a double kneelift. He pulls him up by his pink stained hair and irish whips him into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage comes back with another yakuza kick to Cobryn's face! Karnage applies a crippler crossface to Cobryn's arm broken by Lucifer Jones!!
(The fans are on their feet, praying to their prespective Gods that Cobryn taps out. Karnage locks a hammerlock on the arm that isn’t scissored holding it with his elbow while he reaches up to apply the chinlock. Cobryn howls in agony)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ron Reid is in position, ready for Cobryn's submission. Karnage releases The Pain Killer EX, and atomic drops Cobryn on to the top turnbuckle. He climbs to the top rope and sits down behind Cobryn, latching his legs around the top rope. He applies a kataha-jime and drops back with a spider suplex he calls The Black Market Lobotomy!!
(Crowd is leaping up & down chanting "KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!!" Karnage rolls on to his feet and covers Cobryn)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr-(Cobryn gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn gets up to his knees, but Karnage looms large over top of him. Cobryn begging now to hurt his arm anymore. Karnage smiles over at Kilroy, but Cobryn uses the momentary distraction to grab him by his trunks and pull him facefirst into the cage!!
(Cobryn steps up on to the second turnbuckle, and applies an inverted facelock. He flips forward into a diamond dust)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn steps on Karnage's face and poses for a cocky pin.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn irish whips Karnage into the ropes and tries to tiltawhirl him but Karnage falls behind him. He sambo suplexes him! Karnage applies a giant octopus. Cobryn cries out in pain, and Karnage plants his foot and pulls hard on Cobryn's injured arm!
(Ron Reid asks Cobryn if he submits. He spits out blood and curses at the ref. Karnage then rolls it over into a cradle)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage applies an STF on Cobryn! Karnage using that "naturally" enhanced arm to clamp down on Cobryn's windpipe. Cobryn reaching out with his one good arm trying to grab hold of the bottom rope.
(Fans boo as Cobryn finally gets his hand on the top rope. Reid then starts laying in the count for Karnage to break the STF. He pulls Cobryn up and sets him up for a suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn blocks the suplex and reverses it with a slingshot Tsunami Effect suplex! Cobryn sits on his back and applies a Cobryn Clutch.
(Blood runs down through Cobryn's fingers, to the mat. Cobryn yanks back on Karnage's head as Reid checks in to see if he wants to tap out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn rocking back but Andrew Karnage gets up on his hands and knees. He know stands up with Cobryn on his shoulders in an electric chair!
(Crowd applauds Karnage's feet of strength while Cobryn begs to be put down. Karnage runs and pitches Cobryn's face into the steel cage!! Karnage grabs on to the back of Cobryn's hair, but Cobryn holds onto the chainlinks for dear life)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage trying to peel Cobryn off that cage but he's not going anywhere.
Phil Blauer: Looks like you when your mother tried to take you home from the porn convention in Vegas last year.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I wasn't ready to go. I told her I would take a cab. She didn't have to hit me...
(Kilroy Evans takes a chair and smacks Cobryn's fingers from the outside. Karnage picks him up and drops him across his knee with a catatonic backbreaker!! He sits on Cobryn's back and applies a camel clutch with a cobra clutch)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Sphinx Clutch!! The crowd is on their feet!
Phil Blauer: You know, in that instance, the cobra and camel can get along.
Guillermo O'Bannon: But that ill fated road trip you took with the two of em?
Phil Blauer: ...yeah. They focused on their differences instead of what they had in common. Plus the cobra kept biting people and making them die.
(Cobryn screams of pain are drowned out by the crowd noise in The Key Arena. Karnage plants his feet and yanks back on his head & arms. Ron Reid advises Cobryn to tap or lose the use of his upper extremities)
Phil Blauer: Who the hell is Ron to advise anyone. Hey, Ron! Here's some advice, it's called laundry!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil, he can't hear you.
Phil Blauer: Yeah he can. See, he's crying a little.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Oh yeah, I'll be damned. Cobryn has a hold of those brass knuckles again and clubs Karnage one in the groin with em with his free arm!
Phil Blauer: See what listening to Reid gets ya? Your wife leaves for you for someone with a real job.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn flips Karnage over his back with a leg capture suplex!
(Cobryn inverted facelocks Karnage and steps up on to the second turnbuckle. But before he can flip over into a diamond dust, Karnage turns it into a powerslam)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage runs into the ropes and the Seattle crowd gets into a fever pitch...NIGHTMARE LARIOT!! Cobryn flips head over heels! A blood soaked Karnage collapses on top of him in total exhaustion!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr...(Cobryn gets his foot on the rope)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining."
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage must be scanning through his mental rolodex, going through his entire head dropping arsenal, trying to figure out what can put Coby away!
Phil Blauer: Looks to me like he's just blowing blood off of his face. Wait...no, he's just spitting.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage pulls Cobryn on to his shoulder in a back suplex, but before he can complete The Karnage Crush Bomb the slippery champ falls backward in an inverted facelock...The Answer!!! No!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn has outlasted The AK-47 and apparantly had The Answer to The Karnage Crush Bomb.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 20 minutes 38 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND STILL HARDKORE AMERICA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...COBRYN!!!"
(The Key Arena rocks with boos, and Cobryn raises his arm, with blood running freely down his face. He grabs the brass knuckles and gets a sadistic smile across his crimson masked face)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans doesn't like the looks of this and enters through the steel cage door! He bashes Cobryn with right hand after right hand, he grabs his head and smashes it into the steel cage!
(The crowd let out a deafening pop as Cobryn's head is bounced off the cage over & over! He begs for a little leniancy from Kilroy)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Miracle Violence Combination II double uranage Cobryn hard into the mat!!
(Andrew Karnage inverted crucifixes Cobryn up in the air, he shakes his head, begging to be put down as the fans delight in his terror. Kilroy runs off the ropes and drops him facefirst with The Bad Touch diamondcutter)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The MVC II hits Cobryn with The Inevitable Return of the Great White Dope!!
(Kilroy Evans holds Andrew Karnage's arm up, as blood runs down from several cuts on his face & scalp. The audience chants "MVC!! MVC!! MVC!! MVC!! MVC!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans and Andrew Karnage lay a beating to the Hardkore America Champion...
Phil Blauer: But Karnage was unable to do it when it counts.
Guillermo O'Bannon: In any event, in the subsequent rematches with both of these men, he's going to have to look out for the other man in the corner. Like next month when we go to New Mexico, for a barbed wire match with Kilroy Evans and Cobryn!! That's all from Seattle!