Post by Jonnie Valentine on Oct 15, 2022 5:07:18 GMT -5
("Sober" by Tool plays and a video montage plays of Hardkore World's 15 year history. Cyrus Williams hits Andrew Karnage with The Blackout...Tarrasque chokeslams Big Brute ACE off of a balcony to the floor below...Rad Rick pulls back on a scorpion deathlock on Dragon Kimura...Ace Kilcannon drops "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson on the back of his head with The Kill...Bronco Guerillo comes off on with a rana off the second turnbuckle on Rad Rick...Adrian Faust nails Death Gojira with a Helldriver...Fidel "Che" Gueverra throws powder in Bronco Guerillo's eyes...Rated X hits Ghandi the Butcher with The Unabomber...Kentaro Korose hits Kuala Hala with a facebreaker deathkick...Matthew X flaming thumper heart punches Quasimoto Jones..."Deathstryke" Cyan Komar hits San Diego Strangler with The Deathstryke...Sadiopath pins "Nightmare" Stormy Sommers with a sadioplex...Devon Stevens hits Bobby Nowa with a Zero Grav Leg Drop...Rally Jackson puts Adrian Faust through a press table with a cradle piledriver...Tosh Marley tiger drivers Matthew X...Ace Kilcannon comes off the rope with a springboard DDT on El Hombre Murcie'Lago...Reverand Gozo Shioda nails Ace Kilcannon with a crucifix ganso bomb...Death Gojira hits Sniff the Borax on "Lightning" Leon Jones...Tuxedo Mask executes a gorgeous corkscrew 450 splash on "Sweet" Richard Romero..."Sexy" Anjanette Turner bending Makoto Jupiter in half with a scorpion deathlock with a crossface...Kilroy Evans drops from off the top of a cage with a crowbar across the chest of Death Gojira on a burning car...Tamara Sanchez delivering a crisp helicopter rana on Xyrynth onto a chair...The Miracle Violence Combination II giving Tarrasque a Shotgun Suplex...Cobryn gives Robert Hunglestien III The Answer 2005...Lonewolf McNeely gets a running start and jumps into the Scent of Destruction diamond cutter but Big Bad Bill reverses it into a reverse DDT faceplant off the second rope...Lucifer Jones gives Devon Stevens a London Air Raid off the top rope through a table on the floor...Ayame "Phoenix" Tokugawa backflips off the cage, catching Brandi on the top turnbuckle on the way down with a inverted FireBird DDT then it fades into a graphic that reads "Hardkore America". The shot then fades out to the San Diego audience, cheering and holding up signs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: ...
Phil Blauer: Uh, Guillermo?
Guillermo O'Bannon: (smiles and sighs)
Phil Blauer: Uh, hello? (waves his hand up & down in front of Guillermo's stupid smiling gaze) Guillermo!! Uh...hello, fans...uh, here we are in San Dimas. There are a lot of matches here tonight, like the one with the Godzilla guy and Cyrus. Then there's...I don't know probably a chick fight...Guillermo???
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hmm? Oh hey, Phil. Hey everybody.
Phil Blauer: There you are. Once again I had to cover for your ass.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sorry about that, I'm in love.
Phil Blauer: That's nice to hear and a-Woah. Hold back. Blau-Dog don't swing that way unless circumstances in my cell dictate it. Plus you have to make an appointment.
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, with this wonderful woman I met on the beach.
Phil Blauer: You mean the internet?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, beach, when we were out the other day. We found a nice, quiet room to chat in.
Phil Blauer: A chat room, if you will. Is that where you went? I had the new metal detector kicking. I got 7 quarters, a lighter, and the bloody knife from the OJ trial. You left all that to go talk to a chick? {Mongo Edit: Fuck Off}.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Her name is Veronica. Her name still sounds like a song when it passes through my lips. She's beautiful, really into the environment, and makes my heart feel like it's about to fall out of my chest everytime she looks at me.
Phil Blauer: Is she your tender roni?
Guillermo O'Bannon: AND my around the way girl!
Phil Blauer: (holds up lighter) A lighter, dude! I didn't have to pay for it!
(Phil flicks his Bic trying to get it to light.)
Guillermo O'Bannon: I know, Phil. At any rate, I'm happier than the day Friends went off the air. And so will many of you before this night is through. We have a match between two icons of different regions, meeting in a battle for the Hardkore America Championship that could end anywhere in San Diego. Cobryn, started in the UWA, where he dominated, uncontested. Death Gojira started in Hardkore Nippon, also uncontested. Both have had unbridled success. Cobryn in UWA, IWA, Ring Syndicate, and Ascendant Wrestling. Gojira stayed Hardkore, winning the Hardkore World Championship, Hardkore America Championship, and the Hardkore Nippon Junior Heavyweight Championship. Now they wrestle for the American Championship to see who is the best here in Hardkore World right now.
Phil Blauer: I can't believe you sometimes. You left me on that beach! I threw that frisbee to myself for an hour until that damn dog took off with it. I'm still lookin for that mutt. I think he took my wallet too.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then it's back to the cage for the Miracle Violence Combination II as they defend their titles for the first time against The Black Experience. Every man will have a title belt in this one, with BX being two thirds of the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Champions. But the two largest men in Hardkore look to become double champs.
Phil Blauer: Have The Miracle Violence Combination II ever been in the ring with two seven footers before?
Guillermo O'Bannon: I don't think so.
Phil Blauer: Have I?
Guillermo O'Bannon: I think that's even less likely.
Phil Blauer: Good. I think we've given the fans all they care about in this match.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then Horror Girl makes her return to the ring since two months ago at Palm Springs Punishment when she defeated three time champion "Sexy" Anjanette Turner. They were tied together with a chain and closed in a steel cage. Horror Girl came out the victor in that one, but now two months later Ayame Tokugawa is the Hardkore World Champion and she has a shot against her. Tokugawa has dispatched Xyrynth and Brandi in road to the title, but never has she wrestled someone as violent as Horror Girl.
Phil Blauer: Horror Girl should be well rested...I almost said fresh, but that wouldn't be true.
Guillermo O'Bannon: In Palm Springs, Tony Thunder and The Shootfighter hooked up, with The Shootfighter mercilessly working down his knee until he forced him to tap out. In Albuquerque, The Shootfighter & Tony Thunder went up on 25 feet in the air on a scaffold, both came down. Now, tonight, they fight the rubber match for the Hardkore West Coast title.
Phil Blauer: Tony Thunder has the six man tag team title slung over one shoulder. Can he be the first to have the West Coast slung over the other?
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter just did that.
Phil Blauer: I liked you alot better when you were staring at nothing.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then it's the semi-finals for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament Cyrus Williams & Syberus as well as Lucifer Jones & Big Bad Bill. One of these four men are set to lead Hardkore World as it goes global.
Phil Blauer: Cyrus Williams trying to be the first wrestler in Hardkore World's 16 year history to become a three time Hardkore World Champion in consecutive wins. I'm attempting to become the first announcer to fit 16 kielbasa sausages in my mouth, shattering Mike Tenay's record of 14 and Heenan's penis.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shouldn't Heenan's dick be counted as only half a sausage?
Phil Blauer: I wouldn't know.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Of course you do, he shows it to everyone. Syberus also looking to make some history, becoming only the second man to hold the Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Championship & Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship at the same time, since Ace Kilcannon did it in 2000. He's also looking to be the third English wrestler to hold that title, with Matthew X and Blayze Bailey coming before him.
Phil Blauer: What about "Irish" Mike Powers?
Guillermo O'Bannon: He was from upstate New York.
Phil Blauer: Yeah, but that's like a suburb of England.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then we have the other half of that semi-final, former Hardkore West Coast Champion Big Bad Bill against Lucifer Jones.
Phil Blauer: Lucifer Jones was very busy in Albuquerque, appearing in three matches that night, which is more than HHH does in a half hour of Raw.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones has got to keep his eyes on the prize if he hopes to win this match, not worry about "The Punisher" Dan Stein or this new person running around in his old mask.
Phil Blauer: Don't worry about the roid case or the guy looking to beat his brains in that could be anyone in the locker room? Check.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then we get to see Brandi and Vagabond go at it in a tables, ladders, and chairs match. Brandi and Tammy Sanchez attacked Vagabond before their match with her and "Sexy" Anjanette Turner in Seattle, leaving her a bloody mess in the aisleway and Anj fighting a handicap match. Brandi then proceeded to put Turner and Sanchez out of wrestling. Tamara Sanchez was scheduled to return tonight, but her leg is still far from healed and she could not get medical clearance to wrestle here tonight. But Vagabond can, and is looking to get some revenge for the beating Brandi gave her in her debut match.
Phil Blauer: All that, and Tarrasque taking on Lonewolf McNeely and we have a hell of a card here tonight!
(“Glory” by Peter McEvilley plays and the audience cheers. Devon Stevens walks out slapping the fans' hands)
Guillermo O'Bannon: So let's get underway! Devon Stevens wrestling his first singles match tonight since 2001.
Phil Blauer: He probably remembers me as a racist blowhard who couldn't tell you what building he was in, much less who was wrestling in the match he was watching.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Yeah, alot's changed.
Yolanda Ando: Devon Stevens wears a black leather jacket, black, semi-baggy jeans with dark red trim and black boots. He also has dark red MMA-style gloves and black fishnets on his forearms.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to The Cox Arena. Hardkore Jonnie Valentine and Hardkore America present tonight's event of wrestling excellence. Your referee is Ron Reid. Our first match tonight is scheduled for one fall, featuring first, from Cincinatti, Ohio; Standing 6 feet even; Weighing 230 pounds...DEVON STEVENS!!!"
(The crowd applauds and Devon Stevens loosens the ropes, waiting for his opponent. Then The Cox Arena falls abruptly dark. Overhead, on the tron, 3 symbols flash in and fade out slowly to the sound of a heartbeat:
<ALPHA>
<OMEGA>
<The Punisher skull>
(Over the sound system, “More Human Than Human” by White Zombie is heard starting to play. As the skull fades out, the arena lights up again, and standing there is “The Punisher” Dan Stein, raising his Peacemaker in the air over his head to the crowd’s approval. But he's wearing a red & yellow helmet with a big fist on the front. His manager, Domino, stands in front of Stein, and leads him to the ring area)
Phil Blauer: In Albuquerque "The Punisher" Dan Stein had his arm wrenched and cracked every concievable way by Syberus, he was given The Yankee Cracker and whipped with a leather strap by Lucifer Jones. So that might explain why he's wearing a helmet and an ankle brace, but not really.
(Stein gives Devon Stevens an intense look, then deftly flips the Peacemaker halfway into his hand and gives him a garish look while simulating a throat slash with the Peacemaker. Domino draws the hoots and whistles of the San Diego fans by blowing kisses to the crowd and waving to them. Stein quickly flips the Peacemaker into his hand and spins the club, to demonstrate his deftness with it. Domino dutifully helps him remove his black trenchcoat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein with some odd apparel but we're also talking about a business where large men mix alot of mesh & fringe with boots.
Phil Blauer: Men have killed over Steven Tyler's hand-me-downs.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Like who?
Phil Blauer: ...Bruiser Brody. And that guy that killed Crash.
Guillermo O'Bannon: At any rate, he is one of the most strongest men in the business so I'm not gonna mention anything to him about it.
Yolanda Ando: Dan Stein is wearing a large helmet with a fist on it that was once used to cover Hulk Hogan's bald spot during his feud with Sgt. Slaughter & Bad News Brown. A simple tight black t-shirt, and plain black shorts, with black leather wrestling boots. Around one of those boots is a yellow ankle brace with a broken bone airbrushed on it. Stein also wears black leather gloves with the fingers ripped out.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kinda funny when you think about it, the Hulkster hiding his baldspot like he did. He still looked like George Lucas standing next to Mean Gene.
Phil Blauer: Suspiciously homosexual?
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by his manager, Domino; Hailing from Detroit, Michigan; Standing 6 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 285 pounds...'THE PUNISHER' DAN STEIN!!!"
(The San Diego crowd cheers both men, as Domino pulls off his leather trenchcoat. Devon Stevens rushes him and smacks him under the chin with a superkick)
Guillermo O'Bannon: And here we go! Devon Stevens goes for a savatte kick to the kneeling Stein, but hurts his foot on the helmet!
(Stevens hops up & down, holding his hurt foot and Stein applies a stomach claw. The Punisher smashes him in the head with a headbutt with the fist helmet!! Stein crouches over Devon and chokes him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein choking Devon Stevens out with The Chinese Clutch. He pulls him up into a headlock, and then running bulldogs his face into the mat.
(Stein front facelocks him for a DDT, but Stevens fireman's carries him up on his shoulders. He drops him headfirst into an emerald frosion!! The Cox Arena comes alive with cheers, and Stevens climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon Stevens comes off the top with a Black Rain knee to the face as Stein gets to his feet!! Stein rolls around, clutching his face. Stevens hits the ropes and comes at him with a high cross body press, but Stein catches him!
(Stein walks around the ring with Devon in his arms, smiling. He walks over to Domino, winks and then fallaway slams Stevens three quarters across the ring! Then he gut wrench suplexes him across to the other side)
Phil Blauer: Stein showing his power here tonight, throwing him around like Veronica in the backseat of a camry.
Guillermo O'Bannon: What was that?
Phil Blauer: What was what?
Guillermo O'Bannon: I thought...nevermind. Stein pulls Stevens' head into his legs and then lifts him up onto his shoulder into a hanging backbreaker. Stein is known for working down the back to soften you up for The Reckoning.
Phil Blauer: The same way, Boone tries to soften me up with compliments so I'll let him borrow my gel.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: That's not true, sir. I am a reporter, just like yourself. And like you, I am always in search of the truth. What kind of reporter could I hope to be if I didn't tell the God's honest truth that you are the most handsome man on television and deserve to replace Guillermo as the play-by-play guy.
Phil Blauer: Ok, but just a dollop. (squirts out some gel into Boone's hand)
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: (tries to get his hair like Phil's) How do you get it to coif to the side like that.
Phil Blauer: Only god can give you the gift of managibility like this.
(Ron Reid checks in to see if Devon Stevens submits, as his arms fall limply to his sides. Devon rakes Stein's eyes, and falls behind The Punisher. He inverted facelocks him, and flips forward into a standing diamond dust)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Soul Crusher!! Stevens does a front facelock and applies a seated front neck lock he calls The '54 Choke. This name refers to the Cleveland Indians last performance at the World Series.
Phil Blauer: Good thing The Bengals are doing so well, or that could seem hypocritical.
Guillermo O'Bannon: He squeezes off all the air from Stein, proving we're all the same size lying down.
Phil Blauer: I'd ask your girl about that.
(Ron Reid asks Stein if he wants to tap out, but Stein can't answer. Domino pounds on the apron, trying to keep Stein awake. Devon Stevens puts Stein's arm over his head and applies a side headlock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon Stevens applies The Cincinatti Strangler. Stevens continue to wear him down, trying to weaken the strongman so that he can't continue to toss him around the ring.
Phil Blauer: What if there was a Cincinatti Strangler? Think anyone would care?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Not until he started killing white chicks.
(Stevens grinds away at Stein's head. Domino screams out some instructions, then Dan Stein rolls him onto his shoulders)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Devon Stevens releases The Cincinatti Strangler)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon Stevens irish whips Dan Stein into the ropes and hits him with an inazuma leg lariot! He climbs to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a moonsault kneedrop, but Stein rolls out of the way!!
(Devon Stevens clutches at his knee, and "The Punisher" Dan Stein turns his anklebrace around to the back of his calf. He whips his finger around in the air, and spins Stevens leg around into a figure four leglock)
Phil Blauer: "The Punisher" Dan Stein using that anklebrace to gain added leverage with the figure four! How could that fat fuck Reid miss it?
Guillermo O'Bannon: You kidding me? He lets Gojira bring in that barbed wire wrapped chair everytime. He uses that thing for a weardown move. Devon Stevens sits up in agony, grabbing his hair with both hands. Stein using that ankle thingy to possibly end this match four minutes in.
(Stevens sits up and grabs the second rope. Ron Reid forces Stein to break the figure four. Stein presses him over his head, and then drops his throat on the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "The Punisher" Dan Stein applies a full nelson. He locks those hotdog sized fingers together and pushes down on his neck. He whips the cruiserweight from side to side, trying hard to fracture his neck.
(Dan Stein lifts him up and slams him assfirst into the canvas with a full nelson slam. Stein pulls him up but Stevens ducks under a punch and he back suplexes him up on his shoulder, then flips him forward into a sitdown faceslam)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stevens back in the game with a Carbomb!! Devon Stevens climbs up to the second turnbuckle and hits a split legged moonsault!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2....(Dan Stein kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon Stevens steps through the ropes onto the apron, and slingshots himself on to the middle of the top rope. He springboards off into a dropkick!!
(The crowd is on their feet, applauding. Stevens irish whips Dan Stein into the ropes and flips into a huracanrana, but Stein catches his legs and drops his back on to the top rope, using the momentum to slingshot powerbomb Devon!! The fans clap even louder for that, as well as Domino)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein lifts up Stevens' arm and heart punches him. He follows it up with an oklahoma roll!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Devon Stevens kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein irish whips Devon Stevens into the ropes, but Stevens hops on the middle of the second rope and backflips into an asai moonsault press!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Dan Stein kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon waits for Dan to stand up and hits him with a spinning backfist. Stevens hits the ropes and drops Stein with a rolling elbow!
(Devon Stevens lifts Stein up in a fisherman's suplex and then flips him forward into a spinebuster!! The San Diego crowd applauds. Devon runs into the ropes and comes at him with a flying body press but The Punisher catches him into a powerslam)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Devon Stevens kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein hooks him up, tangles their legs together and he drops back into a russian legsweep! He tosses him across the ring with a butterfly suplex!
(Stein front facelocks Stevens but Devon blocks the DDT and back body drops him. He runs at Stein with a leg lariot and follows him down into a legdrop! He irish whips Stein into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon Stevens spinning headscissors Stein through the ropes to the floor below! Stevens runs into the ropes and hits him with a lightning fast shinkansen elbow strike through the ropes!!
(Fans cheer and chant "DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!!" Devon Stevens climbs to the second turnbuckle, and the San Diego fans buzz with excitement and crane their heads towards the spectacle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon Stevens backflips into a moonsault knee smash to Dan Stein's face!!
Phil Blauer: Unbelievable!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Can you believe after a nearly four year absence from the ring, Devon Stevens can still move like that?
Phil Blauer: No, I'm talking about Mrs. Doubtfire 2!! It's right here in Variety that Bonnie Hunt is writing the sequel. How many watched her show, Life with Bonnie? Three?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bonnie Hunt's funny, I don't care what anybody says. Anyway, the woman's best friends with Tom Hanks...she's bulletproof.
Phil Blauer: Who isn't best friends with Tom Hanks? Me, Rita, Tom, Ron, and Ron's new wife, whats-her-name went over to Steven and Kate's just last week after temple.
(The Cox Arena continues to chant "DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!!" Devon Stevens goes to suplex Stein, but The Punisher blocks it with his powerful calves. He lifts up Stevens up in a hanging suplex, and the crowd cheers at his sheer strength)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein suplexes Stevens on the concrete floor!! He holds onto him and lifts him into a second hanging suplex, this time dropping him into a jackhammer on the floor!!
(Stevens writhes around The Cox Arena floor, clutching his back in agony. The crowd pops for The Punisher, and he rolls Devon into the ring. Stein has developed a large potato shot under his eye from Steven's knee earlier)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein scoops Stevens up and drops him into a michinoku driver II!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Devon Stevens gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein rolls Stevens up to his feet, standing back to back with him, and drops into a Twilight Hammer reverse neckbreaker! He hooks the leg.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Devon Stevens kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein irish whips Stevens into the ropes but Stevens comes back to the ring with a jumping knee kick he calls Limit Break! Blood really starting to flow from underneath Devon's eye.
(Devon Stevens front facelocks Stein, grabs a handful of his shorts, and lifts him up. He drops his feet on the top rope, and drills his head into the mat with a slingshot DDT!! Stevens climbs up to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon Stevens backflips into his shooting star Zero Grav legdrop!!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Dan Stein kicks out)
Phil Blauer: Dan Stein kicked out of the The Zero Grav!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Steven irish whips Stevens into the ropes, dips down for a backdrop, but Stein reverses it into a swinging neckbreaker!
(Stein pulls his head into his legs, and threads his own arm through his legs. He uses his crotch-tied arm to lift him up into a sitdown pumphandle slam)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Reckoning!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
("More Human Than Human" by White Zombie plays and Domino jubilantly steps into the ring. Dan Stein touches the large bruise on his cheekbone, and winces)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 13 minutes 14 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...'THE PUNISHER' DAN STEIN!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein gets an impressive win here tonight, to start our show off right, but you know Lucifer Jones was getting an eyefull in preperation of their upcoming leather strap match.
(Domino holds Stein's arm up and they walk to the back with White Zombie ringing through The Cox Arena)
***commercial***
(Fade up on a lavish Hollywood Hills apartment. Expensive lingerie, beer bottles, and dog shit cover the carpet. Paris Hilton staggers out of her bedroom, with dried mascara running down her eyes and old vomit crusted on the side of her face. When she walks out of the shot, you can see a man's foot hanging off the bed in her room. Paris walks over to her cupboard, but there's nothing in there but a bag of microwave popcorn and a box next to it. She sighs, and then puts the popcorn in the microwave and sets the timer for three minutes)
Voiceover: The new "Paris Hilton Express" home pregnancy test by the makers of EPT.
(Paris Hilton goes to the same cupboard and pulls out the box. The camera shows us that it's a pregnancy test. She sits down in the chair next to the microwave and pees on the stick. Piss goes everywhere, cause she's nasty and that's what maids are for)
Voiceover: For today's on-the-go woman who can't wait all morning to see if it's ok to take ectascy.
(Man in bedroom calls out to Paris)
Hayden Christiansen: Yo babe, you wanna call Lindsey Lohan and fly to Ibiza? I hear they got a club there where you can shroom and hang out with guys dressed as giant cartoon characters. One of the One Tree Hill kids told me about it.
(Bell in microwave goes off, popcorn's done. Paris checks her stick, and it's negative)
Paris Hilton: Sound's hot.
Voiceover: The "Paris Hilton Express" home pregnancy test.
Paris Hilton: I stake my reputation on it.
(The Shootfighter is in the lockerroom sitting on the bench seat with the West Coast Title around his waist. He stares at the camera with a look of hate, rage and fury on his face. There is even more intensity on his face than usual than any other time he wrestled in Hardkore World. He is wearing his black knee length wrestling tights, black boots, sharp shiny metallic studded black forearm pads an tight black robe with a fierce looking red dragon on the back his chest length dark hair is tied in a pony tail.)
The Shootfighter: "Tony Thunder all the talk is over! All your workouts and all your so-called preparations and your so called 'plan' won't save you from me! Look at me Tony Thunder and look at these eyes! It's all business and that means doom for your dreams at winning this West Coast Title!"
(The camera pans closer to The Shootfighter.)
The Shootfighter: "I know you want to play mind games with me but remember this: I don't play mind games with anyone nor do I like them! Tonight Tony Thunder you think I'm going to mess around with you! Wrong! The first time I was too nice and respectful! Now I'm going to shut you up once and for all! Tonight is The Shootfighter's night! Don't you even forget that Thunder!"
(The Shootfighter gets up and goes over to a corner as the camera pans closer. There is an object lying upright. The Shootfighter simply picks it up and the camera reveals it to be a skateboard.)
The Shootfighter: "Look at this Tony Thunder! Recognize it?! You do?! Maybe it's yours and maybe it isn't! Frankly speaking I don't care, since you want to play mind games with me! Well let's see how you love this one! It's called steal one's property and I'll destroy yours! I know that's your plan so I'll give you a lesson in stealing victories and the cost of it!"
(He places the skateboard over a trash can and lets out a terrifying kai destroying the skateboard. It falls into the trash can.)
The Shootfighter: "You see Thunder this is the price you must pay! This is the price that you must realize for playing mind games with me! You want to know if that was really yours or not! Actually I'll be more than happy to tell you! It wasn't yours but being you are supposedly smart as Bruno claims you are! You would have figured it out immediately! Are you upset, because I did something to you that you didn't like?! Well Thunder do you! Well now you know how it feels
to play mind games with me! I don't like it!"
(The Shootfighter puts some lighter fluid into the can and the sets it on fire.)
The Shootfighter: "This is your fate Tony Thunder! Your fate is crash and burn! A fiery destruction that even you can't bounce back from! Remember when I defeat you! I shall make sure your hospital stay is going to be a long painful one! Prepare for your destruction Tony Thunder! Prepare for the ultimate defeat! Prepare for Mortal Kombat!"
(The door opens and Judge Death enters the lockerroom. He is wearing his black judges robes, black boots, a Colonial Era white wig, a gargoyle's mask and wields a cane that has a gargoyle's head on the top. He orders a Hooded Man to put the fire out.)
Judge Death: "Are you trying to burn the arena down."
The Shootfighter: "I'm showing Tony Thunder what he's in for for trying to play mind games!"
Judge Death: "Now you know arson is illegal and it doesn't help playing mind games either. Rememember that could bolster Thunder's case and you don't want that do you?"
The Shootfighter: "I don't!"
Judge Death: "Then you shouldn't do anything stupid like that. Remember do not blow your case with such foolish stunts."
The Shootfighter: "It wasn't his skateboard."
Judge Death: "I see. Still it may backfire against you, since it shall give him evidence to win his
appeal and we don't want that now do we?"
The Shootfighter: "No!"
Judge Death: "Then let's see if you learned that lesson when you defend your West Coast Title."
The Shootfighter: "Yes your honor!"
(They leave the lockerroom the trash can still smoldering with the remains of the skateboard as the scene fades to ringside. The shot slides over four tables against the ropes a ladder in the center)
Guillermo O'Bannon: In Seattle, Brandi decimated our female roster worse than any Phoenix OOC rant ever could. During a tag team match, she attacked "Sexy" Anjanette Turner, Vagabond, even her own partner Tamara Sanchez. Only Vagabond, has seen ring action since.
Phil Blauer: But Tammy is surely seeing action of some sort.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond looking to get a measure of revenge on Brandi for Date {No Means No} piledriving her on The Key Arena floor, while Brandi is looking to get a rematch against Hardkore World Champion Ayame "Phoenix" Tokugawa. A win over the woman that pinned two time champion Xyrynth is definately a step in the right direction.
("Strutter" by KISS hits as a lone spotlight follows Brandi as she steps through the entrance and looks at the crowd. The San Diego fans boo as she slowly walks down to the ring. She enters the ring and stands in the middle with the same spotlight on her as she hangs her head back and basks in the spotlight on her. She slowly and seductively eyes the ladder and tables nervously)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mum has been the word from Brandi over what went down with Hardkore South closing.
Phil Blauer: My guess is the arenas weren't taking her food stamps.
Yolanda Ando: Brandi is wearing a white sports bra and black spandex tights that read "Brandi" on the back.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following Tables, Ladders, and Chairs Match is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Ron Reid; Hailing from Sontag, Virginia; Standing 5 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 'None of Your Damn Concern'...BRANDI!!!"
(The Cox Arena boos and jeers her. Then "Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf plays in the backgrounds as the curtains part and Vagabond walks out with her hands up for the crowd. She walks to the ring with a huge ovation from the San Diego fans so she gives them a little smile)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Many fans here tonight told me her match with Xyrynth in Albuquerque a show stealer.
Phil Blauer: You talk to the fans? What do you talk about once you get past "Jar Jar Binks sucked?" and "Lance Storm was mis-used?"
Guillermo O'Bannon: At any rate, Vagabond has recently started up a fast friendship with former Hardkore West Coast Champion Big Bad Bill. He could definately be a good mentor to work with in one of the tougher women's divisions in the country.
Yolanda Ando: I make sure I TiVo any of their promos. I watch em with my cat Colonel Puffybottom, a box of Dove bars and make a whole night of it. Would you like to hear who Colonel Puffybottom's favorite character on Desperate Housewives is?
Guillermo & Phil: NO.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And her opponent, hailing from Bethany Beach, Delaware; Standing 5 feet even; Weighing 150 pounds...VAGABOND!!!"
(She climbs up to the second turnbuckle to soak in the loud cheers, then gives the “come on” gesture to Brandi)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi rushes Vagabond but Vagabond stops her dead in her tracks with a spear! She irish whips Brandi into the ropes and drops her with a heel strike to her nose.
(Vagabond headlocks Brandi and runs into the center of the ring with a bulldog. Brandi clutches her nose. She runs into the ropes and flying body presses but Brandi catches her)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi kicks the ladder over with her foot and then bodyslams her on top of it!!
(Vagabond writhes around the mat, holding the small off her back. She grabs two handfuls of Vagabond's hair and tosses her into the corner. She karate chops Vagabond hard in the chest. The sound resonates throughout The Cox Arena, and the audience groans in sympathy. Brandi takes away Vagabond's hand from her chest, to give her another hard chop)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi cuts through her opponent with another loud chop to her chest. She grabs the ropes for balance and drives her knee into Vagabond's stomach. Vagabond pops her in the face with a punch and then a tornado punch.
(Vagabond grabs her by the hair and starts bouncing her face off the turnbuckle while the audience counts along)
Audience: 1...
Audience: 2...
Audience: 3...
Audience: 4...
Audience: 5...
Audience: 6...
Audience: 7...
Audience: 8...
Audience: 9...
Audience: 10!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond monkey flips her out of the corner across the ring! She rushes into the ropes, but Brandi floors her with a savatte kick!
(The Cox Arena boos. She lines up the ladder behind her, and then hooks her up. She suplexes Vagabond's back across the ladder!! Vagabond flops around the ring like a stunned fish)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi grabs her leg and turns her over into a single leg boston crab. She plants her feet and pulls back on her leg, trying to take away those daredevil moves of hers.
(Brandi tugs back on Vagabond's bent back leg, and she screams out in pain. Ron Reid checks in to see if she wants to tap out, but the Delaware native refuses, so Brandi releases the half crab. She front facelocks Vagabond, but Vagabond turns it into a backdrop, depositing Brandi on the ladder!! The San Diego fans come alive)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond sets Brandi up on a table then runs into the ropes. She hops onto the middle of the second rope and backflips into a lionsault through the table!!
(Crowd gives her a monster pop and start chanting "VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!!" Vagabond makes a cover)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Brandi kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond applies a crippler crossface! She's got those fingers locked, and yanks up on her head & arm. Reid checks in with Brandi, but her refusals are too obscenity laced for us to repeat.
Phil Blauer: Not me. It's something about a sockcucker.
(Brandi grabs the ropes and Ron Reid forces a break, making the fans boo. Vagabond releases the crippler crossface and drags one of the tables into the center of the ring. She pulls Brandi's head into her legs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond pulls her up on her shoulder, and samurai drivers her, liquifying the table!!
(The fans cheer, and Brandi lies in a pile of table rubble. Vagabond screams in her face "There you go, you skank!" She then steps through the ropes out to the apron. She waits for Brandi to stand back up, then hops on to the middle of the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond nails her with a springboard spinning kick to the face! She rolls Brandi onto the ladder and climbs to the top turnbuckle. She backflips into a shooting star press but Brandi moves and Vagabond lands on her chest on that ladder!!
(The Cox Arena boos, as both ladies lie next to one another, writhing in pain. Brandi rolls out of the ring and grabs a chair. She enters back into the ring with chair in hand, and then clubs Vagabond in the head with it)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi DDTs Vagabond on to the chair! She rolls her over into a pinning position.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Vagabond kicks out)
(Brandi dumps her on to one of the tables and then sets up the ladder. She climbs up the ladder and backflips into a moonsault through the table!!! The fans gasp, and then chant "HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!!")
Phil Blauer: This has turned into a sensational match!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi moonsaults Vagabond off the ladder through that table! She makes another pin attempt.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Vagabond kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: She scoops Vagabond up and drops her into a backbreaker. She waistlocks Vagabond and drops back into a german suplex!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Vagabond rolls her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi pulls her up into a powerbomb, but Vagabond reverses it into a huracanrana! She grabs her by the hair and tosses her over the top rope.
(Brandi hits the concrete floor hard. Vagabond drags the ladder in front of the ropes and climbs up. The fans crane their heads to see the spectacle before she leaps off into a suicide dive!! Both ladies hit the guardrail, and the crowd chants "VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond leans her against the railing and then climbs up to the apron. She hops onto the middle of the second rope and comes off with a spectacular asai moonsault, taking her over the guardrail into the audience!!
(The crowd continues to chant "VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!!" as both ladies lie in the laps of a couple of front row fans)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi grabs a 16oz cup of beer and throws it into Vagabond's face! She bounces Vagabond's head off of the railing! She pulls her over the security rail, battering her about the face and head with forearms. She bulldogs her on the The Cox Arena floor!
(Brandi rolls Vagabond into the ring. She lies the ladder down behind her, then gut wrenches Vagabond on to her shoulder. She then lets her flip forward, facefirst on to the ladder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi attempts to fireman carry Vagabond, but she blocks it and impaler DDTs her skull onto that chair!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Brandi kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: She dumps her on that ladder, then climbs up to the second turnbuckle. Vagabond's legs hit the top rope and she backflips into a split legged moonsault!! Brandi is sandwiched in between Vagabond and that ladder!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Brandi gets her foot on the bottom rope)
(Vagabond applies an anklelock to Brandi's foot. She gives it a hard twist, and Brandi yelps out in pain. She wraps her legs around Brandi's thigh, and drops down into an on the mat version)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond wrenches her foot from side to side, trying to break Brandi's ankle. Brandi kicks her off finally. Vagabond runs into the ropes and thez presses her, but Brandi catches her and drops her throat on the top rope!
(Brandi twists her around into a neckbreaker! She then wraps her arm around her head into a dragon sleeper. She pulls back on Vagabond's head, planting her feet for better balance)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi has Vagabond right where she wants her with The Seduction. Ron Reid checks in but Vagabond holding on, trying to avoid her first loss here in Hardkore World! Brandi lifts her limp opponent up and drops the back of her head onto her knee!
(Brandi gut wrench suplexes her, then steps through the ropes to the floor. She pulls a table up and leans it against the ropes on the apron. Vagabond runs into the ropes and baseball slide kicks the table into Brandi's face!! The crowd cheers)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond climbs to the top turnbuckle, and comes off with a corkscrew plancha!!
(The fans start up the chant, "VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!!" She rolls Brandi into the ring and climbs in the ring herself)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond climbs to the top rope again and this time flips off with a 450 splash!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Brandi kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond irish whips her into the ropes and flying Mexican armdrags her over her shoulder! She irish whips her again, and dips down for a backdrop, but Brandi butterflies her arms. She tosses her across the ring with a double underhook suplex!
Phil Blauer: Who is that coming down to the ring?
Guillermo O'Bannon: It's Tamara Sanchez!
Phil Blauer: Who?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil, she's only been gone two months.
Phil Blauer: Oh yeah, Phoenix's chick.
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's Xyrynth. Tamara Sanchez was the former Hardkore World Women's Champion.
Phil Blauer: Startin to ring a bell, was she the tennis player groupie?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bingo.
Yolanda Ando: Tammy sporting a darker look now. She's dyed her curly hair black and put it in braids. She has black crosses under both her eyes. She wears blue jean cut-offs and a black shirt with "Fuck Me" on the front on the back and "Fuck Off" on the back. She also has on some black wrestling boots.
Phil Blauer: I dig that shirt. It's got my favorite pick-up line on the front and the answer I get on the back.
(Brandi spots Tamara Sanchez and starts moving seductively for her, mocking her. The Cox Arena rocks with boos. She sneers and sits down on Vagabond's face, grinding her crotch into her face. The jeering fans really let her have it for that)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi lifts her up into a suplex, drops her feet on the top rope, and she riccochets back into a slingshot suplex!
(She points at Tammy Sanchez, then lifts her up into a piledriver, but Vagabond rolls up into a head scissors takedown! The audience cheers the reversal of The Date {No Means No}, as Vagabond sets up a table and puts Brandi on top of it. Vagabond sets up a ladder in the center of the ring. She climbs up to the very top, then Vagabond does a swan dive senton)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond reverses The Date {No Means No}, and sets her up for The Butterfly Dive off of the ladder through the press table!!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The audience chants "VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!!" as "Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf plays through The Cox Arena)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond gains a measure of revenge on Brandi tonight in this tables, ladders, and chairs match!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 13 minutes 35 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...VAGABOND!!!"
(Vagabond staggers up to her feet, hurt but victorious. Suddenly, enters the ring and picks up the chair. She cracks Brandi in the skull with it)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez is in the ring and doing some dirt with that chair. She throws the chair down and pulls her head into her legs. She drills Brandi's head into that chair with her own Date {No Means No} piledriver!!
(Crowd cheers, and Sanchez arranges a broken table over the wrist of Brandi. She takes the chair and drives the top of the chair into Brandi's elbow!! The fans wince at the sickening sight)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez getting a measure of revenge of her own, by attempting to break her arm if she hasn't already! She lifts up the chair again and slams it into the back of her elbow again!!
(Brandi rolls around the mat, clutching her limp arm to her side. Ron Reid tries to keep her still long enough to get medical treatment)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez spins arond and brains Vagabond in the head with that chair!! What is she doing??
Phil Blauer: Chicks. Who knows?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez delivers an FU on the ladder!!
(The fans boo Tammy, as she climbs up to the top turnbuckle. She backflips into a shooting star press with Vagabond on the ladder)
Phil Blauer: The 7 Year Inch on Vagabond while she's lying on that ladder!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez returns to Hardkore World, the same way she left, decimating the women's division!
(Sanchez rolls out of the ring, and walks to the back under a hail of trash and debris from the booing fans. She leaves Vagabond rolling around, clutching her ribs and Brandi with a broken arm)
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May 30, 2005#9
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up fans, we have the match between two of the most extreme wrestlers on the West Coast right now. Tarrasque, a wrestler who held the West Coast title for nearly a year and a half. He is a two time Hardkore America Champion. He has held the six man title more times than Xyrynth has used crab lice shampoo.
Phil Blauer: I use it in my hair. It makes my scalp tingle.
Matt Boone: And it gives your hair incredible body, sir.
Phil Blauer: Blau-Dog was born with the body.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely is one of the most skilled and underrated wrestlers here in Hardkore America. But it's gonna be a fight for his life inside the ring with this crazed cannibal.
("All Star" by Smashmouth plays and the audience boos. Lucius Morgan and "God's Gift" Jeremiah Vastrix walks out to the ring in expensive suits. Tarrasque follows behind chewing on a raw steak, with blood and drool coming out from his mouth)
Phil Blauer: Tarrasque still stinging from falling off the scaffold in Albuquerque, you can tell by the way he's limping and sort of gumming that steak.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely would be well advised to go after that leg or spend a lot more time on The Cox Arena floor than is medically recommended. We're dealing with the EWA Extreme Champion, NWC International Champion, NWC World Champion, NWC Hardcore Champion, ECWF Intercontinental Champion.
Phil Blauer: Yeah, but those are Canadian feds. All you need to get over there is a mustache.
Yolanda Ando: Tarrasque wearing some black trunks with the biohazard sign on it.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Does anyone remember the band Biohazard? It was like they gave the Aryan Nation some guitars.
Phil Blauer: Remember the Boo Ya Tribe? They walked off the set of American Me right into our hearts.
Guillermo O'Bannon: They were ahead of the curve, showing up in Janet Jackson's "That's the Way Love Goes" back when that kind of thing was considered "going pop" as opposed to day where it's "desperately ploying t for mainstream radio play".
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is scheduled for one fall and a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by "God's Gift" Jeremiah Vastrix, and his manager, Lucius Morgan; From Arkham Asylum; Standing 6 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 275 pounds...TARRASQUE!!!"
(The audience boos. Then "In the Year of the Wolf" by Motorhead plays and the San Diego crowd applauds. Rain leads Lonewolf McNeely out to the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely has lost his last couple matches against Big Bad Bill and "White Chapel Horror" Lucifer Jones. He's looking to get back into the winning ways with a win against The Warhammer Corporation's most decorated champion.
Phil Blauer: He has a plaque that hangs over the Sprite machine in the Warhammer Corporation's lunch room.
Yolanda Ando: It matches the plaque on this teeth. Lonewolf wears silver leather shorts with fangs on the rear, black boots with a wolf on the sides and black fringe hanging off the sides.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by his manager, Rain; Hailing from Montreal, Quebec, Canada; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 250 pounds...LONEWOLF MCNEELY!!!"
(The audience gives him a round of applause. Tarrasque can't take it anymore and attacks Lonewolf McNeely in the corner! Rain screams and runs out of the ring. Tarrasque punches McNeely over & over, pulling him out to the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque powerslams Lonewolf McNeely off the apron onto the concrete!!
Phil Blauer: This match could be over already! We're really making time!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque grabs McNeely by the throat...
Phil Blauer: He doesn't get the C-H-O-K-E-S-L-A-M signs, he just gets the job done.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque chokeslams his back across the railing!!
(The Cox Arena boos, as McNeely walks on his knees, with his hand against the small of his back. Tarrasque pulls him up by his hair and throws him facefirst into the corner post! McNeely covers his nose, and he smashes his face into the post again. Tarrasque climbs up to the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque hops off the apron with a double stomp to Lonewolf McNeely's head on the concrete!! Tarrasque rolls back into the ring, and hits the ropes. He leaps over the top with a flying headbutt, but Rain pulls Lonewolf out of the way!
(Tarrasque's head smacks the railing with a loud crack! With Rain's help, Lonewolf McNeely gets up on the apron. He hops up on the second turnbuckle, and flips off into a corkscrew plancha!! The crowd pops)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A bleeding Lonewolf McNeely climbs up on the apron, then back kicks Tarrasque to back him up. He hops on to the middle of the second rope and backflips into an asai moonsault press into the railing!!
(The Cox Arena cheers really loudly, as both men lie side by side against the guardrail. Rain lightly slaps McNeely's face to wake him up. He rolls Tarrasque into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque gets to his feet, but McNeely slingshots himself over the ropes into a flipping dropkick!
Phil Blauer: Nice.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely pops him a couple times in the chest with some forearms. He hits the ropes and comes back with a roaring elbow but Tarrasque ducks under it and backslides him!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Lonewolf McNeely gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque irish whips McNeely into the ropes and drills his head into the mat with a huracanrana!!
(Tarrasque sets McNeely's foot on the bottom rope. He sits up on the top turnbuckle, then jumps off the second turnbuckle with a stomp to McNeely's leg. The crowd boos)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque headlocks McNeely. He runs for a bulldog, but McNeely pushes him off chestfirst into the turnbuckles. Tarrasque staggers out, and Lonewolf catches him with a release german suplex!
Phil Blauer: No bridge, all impact. Like my sexpertise. I call it Flamingo Style.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He comes down crashing across Tarrasque's face with a leg drop!! He covers the two time Hardkore America Champion!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tarrasque kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely irish whips Tarrasque into the ropes, and takes him out with a spinning heel kick! He inverted facelocks him, and steps up on the second turnbuckle. He flips over into a Sands of Time ace crusher!!
(The crowd cheers McNeely on, and Rain pounds the apron with encouragement. He climbs up to the top turnbuckle, but "God's Gift" Jeremiah Vastrix climbs up to the apron. He grabs Lonewolf's leg then jumps off the apron, crotching him on the turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque comes off the ropes with a diving tackle, sending McNeely off the top to the railing!!
(The fans jeer and boo. Tarrasque rolls out of the ring, and lifts him in a suplex. He drops McNeely's groin into the cornerpost! Lonewolf clutches his balls, and Rain tries to comfort him. Tarrasque growls at her and she runs away)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque fireman's carries him up on to his shoulders. McNeely death valley drivers his head on The Cox Arena floor!!
(Lucius Morgan pulls a table out from underneath the ring, and he & Jeremiah Vastrix set it up. Tarrasque pulls his head into his legs. He lifts him up on his shoulder and flips him forward into a facefirst powerbomb through the table!! The crowd gives a huge pop)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque has liquified that table with the chest of Lonewolf! He rolls him onto the apron, and pulls his head into his legs again. McNeely blocks it and back drops Tarrasque over the ropes back into the ring. McNeely steps back through the ropes. McNeely pops Tarrasque under the chin!
(Tarrasque staggers around as McNeely climbs up to the top turnbuckle. McNeely grabs him by the hair, and comes off the top with a pedigree)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely drives his face into the mat with The Slashing Effect!! He bends him backwards into a dragon sleeper. Tarrasque kicking out, trying to hook his leg around the bottom rope.
(Mike Peters checks in to see if he submits. McNeely releases him long enough to butterfly Tarrasque's arms. He gives him an impaler DDT)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely climbs to the top turnbuckle. Lucius Morgan hops up to the apron and shakes the ropes. He crotches McNeely! Tarrasque steps up to the second rope and brainbuster suplexes him over into a pinning position!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Lonewolf McNeely kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tarrasque climbs up to the top rope, and hops off with a ribbreaker stomp to McNeely’s throat!!
Phil Blauer: My god, he can’t breathe!
(McNeely rolls around the mat, clutching his throat, turning red. Rain covers her mouth in horror. The fans boo and jeer the madman as he snarls and lashes out at them. Tarrasque applies a claw to Lonewolf’s temples, squeezing blood out of the cut over McNeely’s eye. Rain asks McNeely if he’s ok, but he isn’t answering)
Guillermo O’Bannon: McNeely makes it up to his feet, but Tarrasque stops him in his tracks with a bodyslam from way up high. Tarrasque pulls him up and atomic drops him acoss the top rope!
(Rain curses, and turns her ahead away in disgust. Tarrasque grabs the top rope and bounces Lonewolf up & down, until he falls to his side on the mat. Tarrasque climbs to the top rope)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lonewolf rolls out of the way of another ribbreaker stomp! He pops Tarrasque in the face with an elbow. He irish whips him into the ropes and drills him into the mat with a spinebuster! He floats over into a pin!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tarrasque kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: McNeely pulls Tarrasque’s head into his legs while chicken winging both of his arms. Lights Out piledriver!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2....(Jeremiah Vastrix puts Tarrasque’s foot on the ropes)
Guillermo O’Bannon: God’s Gift steals the match for Tarrasque! McNeely may have had it won there.
Phil Blauer: I didn’t see it. It was Lights Out.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Good one, sir.
Phil Blauer: Thank you, Mike.
(McNeely curses in frustration, then glares at Vastrix. Vastrix gulps, and McNeely takes off after him! Lonewolf chases him around the ring several times until Rain trips him!)
“God’s Gift” Jeremiah Vastrix: “Bitch! (looks at Lonewolf) Woah, woah, woah. I didn’t mean that.”
Phil Blauer: I think most ex-husbands would concur with that.
Guillermo O’Bannon: McNeely whallops Vastrix with a kick to the face. Lucius Morgan jumps on McNeely’s back, but Rain grabs him and begins slapping him. Morgan instinctively makes a fist at Rain, but McNeely grabs his wrist!
(Crowd cheers at the whuppin Morgan has coming, and don’t see Tarrasque coming over the top rope with a death leap on Lonewolf McNeely, Lucius Morgan, Rain, and Jeremiah Vastrix!! San Diego gasps at the spectacle, then begin chanting “HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!”)
Phil Blauer: Tarrasque decimates every attraction in this match except for me!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Give him time. Tarrasque pulls McNeely up on his shoulder with a facefirst powerbomb onto the guardrail!!
(Fans boo as McNeely slides down the railing on to the floor. Tarrasque presses him over his head. He runs at the cornerpost and rams McNeely’s face into it!! McNeely drops to the concrete a bloody mess)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tarrasque rolls McNeely back into the ring and then pulls him up to a standing position in center ring. He grabs two handfuls of McNeely’s balls for his finisher called The Rise of the Feminine Side!! He’s showing his raw power by lifting Mcneely up by his testicals!
Yolanda Ando: Does anybody else find this attractive?
Phil Blauer: No.
Guillermo O'Bannon: No.
Matt Boone: Maybe. Wait...No. No I don't.
Phil Blauer: Now a couple chicks grabbin' each other's boobs. That's attractive.
(The Cox Arena rocks with boos, as McNeely yelps over & over in pain. Suddenly he reverses it with a diamond cutter!! The crowd roars)
Guillermo O’Bannon: McNeely reverses The Rise of the Feminine Side and makes the pin!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
(The crowd applauds and a blood soaked McNeely rolls out of the ring. In the Year of the Wolf” by Motorhead plays over The Cox Arena sound system)
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “At 11 minutes 15 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...LONEWOLF MCNEELY!!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: McNeely limping away with his balls in his hands.
Phil Blauer: Lonewolf won the battle, Rain lost the war.
(Rain keeps asking if McNeely’s ok, Lonewolf keeps growling “I’m fine!!” as he limps gingerly back to the locker room)
(30 security guards walk through the curtain and make a human barrier in front of the ring area)
Guillermo O’Bannon: It seems if you hit Jonnie on a good day, he comes through. Those are the security guards Lucifer Jones asked for to protect him from "The Punisher" Dan Stein. And it's time to find out who is going to the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament finals in Palm Springs.
Phil Blauer: Boonesy?
(former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone wheels up a cage with a crank to it, filled with ping pong balls. Phil gets up from behind the desk and walks over to the raffle)
Guillermo O’Bannon: What’s this?
Phil Blauer: The future, my boy. Matthew, if you could do the honors?
(An eager former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone nods and gives the wheel a crank a few times. Phil then opens up the door and pulls out a ball)
Phil Blauer: (reads the ball) “Tony Thunder”. Hmm. Ok, so let’s see who this Tony Thunder character will be facing in the finals.
(Boone spins the raffle cage one more time and then pulls out another ball. He reads it, nods, and hands it to Phil)
Phil Blauer: “’Sexy’ Anjanette Turner” Wow, that could be good.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Phil, what are you doing?
Phil Blauer: Helping this company stay alive. I recently reviewed one of our shows against the more profitable WWE. It showed we are dangerously behind in such things as amatuer beauty contest webpolls, music videos from our performers, hell; we don’t even have a behind the scenes segment of any of the straight to video movies our wrestlers are in. Wrestling shows need to have as little wrestling on them so we can attract our target audience. People that don’t like wrestling. With my new raffle system, actual matches don’t even have to make it into the ring.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Just think about it, Giggles. The matches could surround the raffle cage. Guys putting in extra balls with their names in it, and the subsequent admission of that in a shoot interview for a face turn. People getting hit with the raffle cage, for part of their dastardly heel turn. I could just see Phoenix smash all the balls with his foot when he doesn’t like how a result goes.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ok, but for the short term, let’s just try letting them wrestle for tonight. Lucifer Jones earned his money in Albuquerque, appearing in “The Punisher” Dan Stein’s match, only to be whipped by that man wearing his mask. He also attacked this man, Big Bad Bill after Bill defeated Death Gojira in one of the most violent battles the West Coast has ever seen. Now they meet in a match to decide who will take on the winner of the Cyrus Williams vs. Syberus in Palm Springs, California for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament Final.
(The lights turn a deep shade of blood red, and "Homicidal" by The Bad Luck 13 starts to play. The arena is all boo's and jeers except for a few loyal smart marks as Lucifer Jones appears from behind the curtain, cracking his neck and staring down at the empty ring. He walks down the walkway, ignoring the security guards and the jeers & insults of the fans. He slides into the ring and settles into a corner, cracking his knuckles and gets ready for the battle at hand.)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones all business for this one, showing what kind of respect he has for Big Bad Bill the athlete. Jones trying to look past this man running around in his mask, trying to look past “The Punisher” Dan Stein and focus on his next step to the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title.
Phil Blauer: (listening to his headphones, singing out of key) “Why don’t you take me to...Honkytown!
Why don’t you take me to...Honkeytown!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Phil?
Phil Blauer: (takes one headphone off) Que?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Can you pay attention, we have a Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament semi-final match going on. Besides, it’s Funkytown.
Phil Blauer: What is?
Yolanda Ando: The song, Phil. Why would anyone go to Honkytown when there’s already a Duluth? Lucifer Jones is wearing snake skin leather pants tucked into a pair of well worn combat boots. He's shirtless and I don’t mind that a bit. His ripped frame is covered in various tattoos, most notably "Pro-Pain" tattooed across his stomach and "HARD KORE" on his knuckles. His hair is buzzed tight to his skull and most of his teeth are capped with gold. A long nasty scar wraps around his throat.
Phil Blauer: Ew. You either get one of those in the prison yard for playing the Mexican Mafia against The Aryan Brotherhood, or from one of those razors you get with a subscription to Sports Illustrated.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “The following contest is a Semi-Final Match in the HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT. It is scheduled for one fall, with a 30 minute time limit, and your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, from White Chapel, England; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 220 pounds...LUCIFER JONES!!!”
(The crowd boos Jones as he snarls at the entranceway. “Headless Children” by WASP plays and smoke fills the entrance ramp and ‘black lights’ cause a purplish glow as they flicker in the background. When the main guitar riff hits, Big Bad Bill appears through the smoke and walk towards destiny. The San Diego crowd cheers his entrance)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill popular here tonight, much more popular than in Albuqueruque against Death Gojira.
Phil Blauer: Seems happier, too. Why, Vagabond has him looking so huggable today we could call him Big Bear Bill.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Bill has become friends with Vagabond, who we saw earlier tonight in her victory over Brandi in a thrilling tables, ladders, and chairs match. You know, their relationship sort of reminds me of the one Veronica and I have. It’s based on trust, understanding, and my acceptance that this is the best I’m ever gonna look.
Phil Blauer: Desperation is the glue that holds many a relationships together.
Yolanda Ando: Boy howdy! Well, I think it’s great you found someone Guillermo. Does this mean our little conversations in my car where you make a lame pass and then cry when I reject you have to end?
Guillermo O’Bannon: I think I’ve outgrown those, Yolanda.
Phil Blauer: Pencil me in, just in case my Plan A with Brandi don’t work?
Yolanda Ando: You’ll come back. They all come back...Big Bad Bill is wearing some indigo cotton pants with black boots that go to mid-shin. With it he wears a black belt & an indigo tank top along with a pair of black weight-lifting gloves.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “And his opponent, from Asbury Park, New Jersey; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds...BIG BAD BILL!!!”
(The San Diego crowd pops and BBB goes for a corkscrew spear to pearl harbor Jones, but LuJo sidesteps it, using his own momentum against him and tosses him shoulder first into the steel post through the turnbuckles!! The cheers turn to jeers)
Phil Blauer: Big Bad Bill attempts to catch Lucifer Jones sleeping, but Jones had that move scouted.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones drags Big Bad Bill into the corner shoulder first against the steel post!
Phil Blauer: Jones may be targeting the arm for some reason.
(Jones slides out of the ring, and while holding onto Big Bad Bill's injured arm, he plants both feet firmly against the steel post and tries to wrench his arm out of the socket by hanging there! The audience boos as Bill shouts out in agony)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Joes rolls Big Bad Bill out onto the apron, and positions his arm so that it's hanging off the apron. He grabs a chair, runs and full force smashes it into Triple B's elbow!!
Phil Blauer: It seems Lucifer is learning how to break people’s arms from Tamara Sanchez these days. What a biter.
(Jones walks up and down the ring arena berating the venemous fans while Big Bad Bill is writhing in pain on the apron. Jones bashes him in the face with the chair for good measure)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Jones goes for a thumb to the eye, but Bill swats his hand away and smacks him in the nose on the return. Big Bad Bill scoops him up with one arm and snow plows him on The Cox Arena floor!!
(The crowd comes alive and Bill winces, clutching his arm to his side. He rolls Lucifer Jones into the ring)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Bill backs Jones into the corner and drives his shoulder into his stomach. He uses the ropes to drive a second shoulderblock into him. Jones starts whacking Bill about the head & back with some forearms, then Lucifer swings him into the corner. Jones laying a beatdown on Bill, with hard stiff punches!
(The crowd boos, as Jones outbrawls the shooter Big Bad Bill while he’s trapped in the corner. Jones screams “How you like this, Blue Bollocks Bill??” and slaps him across the face. Bill puts his hand to his face, and turns red with anger)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones spits in Big Bad Bill’s face! Bill charges him but Lucifer Jones flapjacks BBB up into the air, and catches him on the way down with a wakigatame armbar!!
(The Cox Arena continues to boo, as Jones pulls up on Bill’s injured arm! Bill cries out in pain, and Jones yanks up on it some more. Ron Reid checks in but Big Bad Bill waves him off)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Bill uses that superior height to reach out and grab the ropes, forcing Jones to break the wakigatame. Bill gets up shaking his arm. Jones goes for a European uppercut, but Triple B grabs his wrist and forearm and then tosses him to the ground.
(Big Bad Bill karate chops Lucifer Jones with his good arm across the chest. He rips into Jones’ pectorals with three more karate chops. He hooks him up, ties up their legs and drops back into a russian leg sweep! He rolls over into a pinning position, and the audience applauds)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Lucifer Jones kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Both men up to a vertical base, Jones ducks under a tornado punch, and counters with a snap backdrop driver!!
(Big Bad Bill gets up to his hands and knees, and Jones is already coming off the ropes with a soccer kick to his arm! Bill rolls around, clutching his arm. Lucifer Jones butterflies Bill’s arms and lifts him up onto his shoulder in a canadian backbreaker)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones drops him down into a Death Driver!! He covers Bill.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Jones goes for Bill’s arm, but Bill side-steps him and follows through by tossing Jones to the mat! He punches Jones in the face with his good arm and then in the neck with his bad one. Bill punches him in the face a few more times, till he nails him with a knockout palm thrust upside his chin with that hurt but still dangeous left arm!
(The crowd cheers Big Bad Bill’s KOing of The White Chapel Horror. Bill pulls him up by the hair and irish whips him, but Jones reverses it and sends Bill into the ropes)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones tiltawhirls Bill onto his shoulder into a ligerbomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill gets his shoulder up)
(Big Bad Bill clutches his shoulder, and rolls around his arm, trying to shake it off. Lucifer Jones pulls him up by the hair and sizes him up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones slugs Bill right in the nose and then lifts him up into an atomic drop. He sits him up on the top turnbuckle, facing the audience. He rolls out onto the apron, runs and jumps onto the second rope, springboarding off and catching Big Bad Bill with a german suplex, crashing him right into Ron DeLa O's chair!!
(Crowd gives a huge monster pop, as Bill lies in a heap, on top of timekeeper Ron De La O. Jones pushes Ron DeLa O, prompting a 'Fuck YOOOOOUUUUUU, MAN!")
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones grabs the bell hammer, and cracks Big Bad Bill in the elbow with it! He grabs a beer bottle out of a ringside fan’s hand, and finishes the rest of it!
Phil Blauer: Never not a good time to drink.
(But Big Bad Bill anticipates the move, so Jones feints like he's going to bash it over BBB's head. Big Bad Bill goes to block it with his forearm but Lucifer Jones kicks him in the balls! The fans boo as Jones spits the beer out into Bill’s face)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones bashes that glass beer bottle over his face!! Blood flows freely from the cuts on his face from the shattered glass! While he's down, Jones stands over Big Bad Bill and pulls his arm up in a standing wristlock.
(The crowd boos, while Jones bleeds profusely. Lucifer takes a shard of glass and starts to dig it into Big Bad Bill's armpit! Bill kicks his feet into the The Cox Arena floor in pain)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill judo tosses Jones into the railing! Bill ducks his head under the ring curtain and pulls out a flourescent light bulb.
(Bill holds the flourescent light bulb up and the San Diego crowd pops. Bill bashes Jones over the head with it and little shards of glass are everywhere)
former internet prowrestling.com reporter Matt Boone: My eye!!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones now just as bloody as his opponent. Big Bad Bill sets up a table on The Cox Arena floor. He pulls Jones up onto the apron. He one armed hiptosses him off the apron, through the table on the floor!!
(The San Diego crowd cheers wildly! Jones barely moves amid the table rubble. Big Bad Bill grabs a chair and tosses it into Lucifer’s face! The chair bounces off his head with a sickening crack)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill rolls him into the ring and applies an inverted indian deathlock! Blood runs down both men’s faces, making a macabre sight for the wrestling magazine photographers.
(Ron Reid checks in to see if he submits but Jones refuses. Bill sits up to his knees and clamps down on Jones twisted legs. Bill grabs a handful of hair on the top of Jones’ head and then punches his cuts over & over to make them bleed more)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones is finally able to crawl over to the ropes and grab hold of one to break the inverted indian deathlock. Big Bad Bill scoops him up, but Lucifer Jones inside cradles him on the way down! He uses his foot on the ropes for leverage!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Ron Reid catches Lucifer Jones using the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones grabs his legs and drops him back into a wheelbarrow german suplex!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A bloody Lucifer Jones pulls Bill's arm out, and then climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He comes off with a leg drop smashing his arm!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones irish whips him into the ropes and goes for a huracanrana, but Bill catches his legs and drops his back onto the top rope and bounces him up into a slingshot powerbomb!! He applies a kataha-jime!
(The crowd cheers as Jones waves his arms wildly, desperate for escape. Blood runs down Jones' face, as his eyes bug out from lack of oxygen. Bill uses those powerful legs to squeeze whatever air is left in his lungs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill turns the kataha-jime into a full nelson. He links his fingers together and pushes down on the back of Jones' neck. Jones waits for an opportune time and tosses the back of his head into Bill's face. He atomic drops Bill's groin on to the top rope!
(The Cox Arena roars boos as Bill is perched on the top rope. Lucifer Jones full nelsons him and drops him backward into a dragon suplex)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones hooks him up in a cradle and drills him headfirst into a fisherman's buster!!
(He rolls him over into a butterfly lock. Bill bleeds a large pool of blood underneath his face. Jones tries to lift Bill's hurt arm up into an uncomfortable angle)
Phil Blauer: Is it me? Or have we seen this move in nearly every match the past couple months.
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, it's this year's indian deathlock. Jones releases his arms, and applies a faceripper camel clutch. Jones shredding his forehead with those razor sharp nails.
Phil Blauer: Yeah, I was gonna say something to him about those.
Yolanda Ando: Both these guys look gross. Someone needs to get in there with a face cloth.
(Lucifer pulls back on Bill's face, scratching at those cuts from the glass bottle. He releases him and irish whips him into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill comes back with a corkscrew spear he calls Unfettered Might!
(Jones leans against the bottom rope, bleeding. Big Bad Bill somersaults into a dropkick, pushing him through the ropes to the floor. Big Bad Bill grabs another one of those flourescent tubes and breaks one over his head, katana style)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ugh, that broken glass making a horror show out of Lucifer Jones. Bill grinds that glass into his face & forehead! But Lucifer hits him low!
(Lucifer Jones kips up right in front of Big Bad Bill and catches him in a superfast snap DDT on The Cox Arena concrete!! Bill falls limply to his side. Lucifer Jones pulls out a spool of barbed wire from under the ring, and bashes Big Bad Bill in the head with it)
Phil Blauer: Big Bad Bill has a spool of barbed wire under there! When are we gonna start checking under that ring?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones wraps barbed wire around Big Bad Bill's hurt arm, pulls the arm behind Bill's back in like a chicken wing, then wraps the rest of the barbed wire around BBB's body and neck, effectively tying up Big Bad Bill and trapping his arm!!
Phil Blauer: This has become one of the bloodiest matches of 2005 since Trish vs. Lita when they were both on the rag!
(The San Diego crowd boos as Lucifer Jones lays the boots to that arm, kicking the barbed wire into his flesh. Big Bad Bill shrieks in agony, and suddenly Vagabond runs down to the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones rolls him into the ring, and as Big Bad Bill is laying on the ground in extreme pain, Jones gives him a wheelbarrow german suplex, dropping him right onto that chicken winged arm!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr-(Big Bad Bill gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond has a pair of pliers and is cutting some of it away so that Big Bad Bill can see, and free himself. You see? That's sweet. I wonder if Veronica would cut away barbed wire from my face? I wonder what she's wearing right now?
(She rolls a flourescent lightbulb into the ring, and Bill gets to his feet. He tries to pull off the barbed wire but it's stuck on his arm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill bodyslams Lucifer Jones onto that lightbulb!! He covers him.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Lucifer Jones kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill irish whips him into the ropes but Jones hops on to the middle of the second rope and backflips into a tornado DDT!!
(Lucifer Jones irish whips Bill into the ropes and lifts him up into a flapjack into an emerald frosion!! Both men lie next to one another, passed out from exhaustion)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones hit The Dog's Bollocks but has lost too much blood to capitalize!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...
Referee Ron Reid: 2...
(Vagabond pounding on the apron, joining the fans trying to wake Big Bad Bill up, but he doesn't move. The barbed wire still hangs around his arm)
Referee Ron Reid: 3...
Referee Ron Reid: 4...
Guillermo O'Bannon: These two men have sliced each other with glass, barbed wire, and Jones even made Bill have to go get his chick involved!
Referee Ron Reid: 5...
Guillermo O'Bannon: "The Punisher" Dan Stein's manager, Domino coming out to ringside with The Peacekeeper in her hand!
Referee Ron Reid: 6...
(The security guards block off the ring, and escort her to the back. Lucifer Jones sneers back at her, and pulls himself up along the ropes. Big Bad Bill still lies dead still)
Referee Ron Reid: 7...
Referee Ron Reid: 8...
Referee Ron Reid: 9...
(Lucifer Jones finally gets to his feet, and the audience boos. But "The Punisher" Dan Stein suddenly emerges from the audience)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones pulls Big Bad Bill up and sets him up for The Yankee Cracker...but Dan Stein is in the ring with the timekeeper's bell! He smashes Jones in the face with it!! Domino was just a distraction!
Phil Blauer: That's true more often then not.
(The San Diego crowd leaps to their feet, and Dan Stein climbs to the top turnbuckle with the ring bell in his hands. He comes off with the top and jams it into Lucifer Jones' throat!! The fans are deafening as Lucifer Jones flops around the ring, clutching his neck. Security converge on The Punisher, dragging him to the locker room as Stein points back at Lucifer Jones)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Security now helping The Punisher leave the ring, and Big Bad Bill double underhook DDTs Lucifer Jones!! He rolls Jones over and makes a cover.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Lucifer Jones gets his foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill irish whips Jones into the ropes and kicks him in the guts. He drops Jones bloody face into the canvas with an x factor!
(Big Bad Bill climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Jones gets to his feet and shakes the ropes, tripping Bill. He climbs to the second rope and hooks him up for a russian legsweep)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill blocks an Air Raid and turns it into a bulldog off the top rope!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The fans leap to their feet and cheer, as "Headless Children" by WASP plays. Vagabond runs into the ring, and helps a bloody, barbed wire wrapped Big Bad Bill to his feet)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 15 minutes 18 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, ADVANCING TO THE HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT FINALS...BIG BAD BILL!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill has persevered in this extreme battle and now is the man to be for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament.
Phil Blauer: Once Syberus and Cyrus Williams get past one another they have one of the most studious and cerebral wrestlers on the West Coast in Big Bad Bill on their hands.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Whatever, I just like seeing those two kids, Vagabond & Triple B get together. They're a cute couple, don't you think?
Phil Blauer: Your more disgusting than anything that just happened in that ring the past 15 minutes.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Now fans we have the semi-finals of the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament. Cyrus Williams has gone through “Tigerheart” Rally Jackson & “Your Canadian Hero” Nick Knight to get back here to The Cox Arena.
Phil Blauer: The same arena he famously walked out of to vacate this very title.
Guillermo O’Bannon: The man was scared. Nobody fucks with the Schmutzhausens and lives to talk about it. Light Heavyweight Champion Syberus defeated “The Extremist” Tony Thunder in the very first match in the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament, then pinned “The Punisher” Dan Stein in a thrilling match in New Mexico. Now here he is in San Diego, wrestling two time Hardkore World Champion Cyrus Williams.
[The arena lights cut out completely. Over the PA comes a chant from the Muhammed Ali movie accompanied by a war drum beat.]
[Intelligent white lights bounce along to the chant itself. As this happens, six young men dressed in in black t-shirts and grey athletic pants walk into the arena and roll a red carpet down the aisle, all the way to the ring.]
#THE CHAMP IS HERE
#THE CHAMP IS HERE
#THE CHAMP IS HERE
#THE CHAMP IS HERE.
[The chant stops completely, as do the intelligent lights. The carpet rollers line the aisles as "Personal Jesus" by Depeche Mode begins to play.]
#REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH
[Meanwhile Backstage... ]
Bludd: C'mon Mannetti, you've been in the toilet twenty minutes... Its time to roll.
No response.
Bludd: Cyrus's gonna whoop your ass if you dont get out there... on the hizzle even.
Phil Blauer: He better not be using my office, I do my best thinking there.
Guillermo O'Bannon: That reminds me, can I get my copy of Maxim back? I still haven't read it.
Phil Blauer: Stop sweatin me, I'm only going two pages at a time.
[Bludd runs to catch up to the entourage, who begin making their way out to the ring. Out of the curtain first are the cornermen, Jinn Blaze, Michael Maxwell, Bludd, Tatsuya Arakawa, and Joe Charleston, clad in grey and black velour sweatsuits with "REVIVE STRONG STYLE" written on the back. Blaze, Bludd, and Charleston all carry large towels while Arakawa & Maxwell sport a can of cold spray and a bucket of ice respectively. They begin to make their way down the aisle, past the carpet rollers.]
#Your own personal Jesus
#Someone to hear your prayers
#Someone who cares
#Your own personal Jesus
#Someone to hear your prayers
#Someone who's there
[Backstage, Mannetti is seen bursting through the bathroom door and heading toward the ramp, with toilet paper still stuck to his shoe.]
[Next comes Tom Lux, power broker and agent, dressed in a sharp suit. Black coat, red shirt, black tie. Suddenly, a large shower of grey pyros come down from the ceiling as the first verse begins.]
#Feeling unknown when you're all alone
#Flesh and bone by the telephone
#Pick up the receiver I'll make you a believer
#Take second best, put me to the test
#Things on your chest you need to confess
#I will deliver, you know I'm a forgiver
[Mannetti hits the hallway at a frantic pace, dropping his Stuff magazine in the process, just trying to catch up to the entourage.
Finally, Cyrus Williams steps out into the arena, through the pyros. He wears a long black and grey ring robe with a hood, which he flips up once he's completely out in the arena.]
#REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH
#REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH
[Trash begins to get hurled at Cyrus as he walks down the aisle, his cocky smile never fading from his face]
Guillermo O'Bannon: Here comes Cyrus Williams, with still one of the longest ring entrances this side of Sand...
[Manetti is just breaking the curtain when a six foot three, three hundred pound man is seen screaming and tossing security members around. This guy is mammoth. He has messy black hair that extends about half way down his neck, ie: a mullet.]
Phil Blauer: Guillermo, what's your dad doing here?
[He's garbed in a white button down shirt thats not tucked in and lays on top of his belly, he's got faded blue jeans on, and black cowboy boots, one of which is stomping a larger member of Hardkore security in the eye socket. Three other members of security are trying to restrain him, but each get tossed into the sidewalls as the monster's face shows true rage, but somehow through the rage he's looking like he really enjoys what hes doing, and he's heading straight for the unexpecting Paul Mannetti.]
#Your own personal Jesus
#Someone to hear your prayers
#Someone who cares
#Your own personal Jesus
#Someone to hear your prayers
#Someone who's there
[Cyrus makes it to the ring as the song breaks down. He climbs the ring steps as he steps in, with Lux, Commander Cody, and the cornermen following him. When he enters the ring, Cyrus goes to the center of the ring and does a victory pose, with his entourage doing it's best to deflect the garbage being pelted at him.]
#REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams personal ring announcer was just clotheslined out of his Bruno Maglis!
[Tom Lux turns and looks for Mannetti, who just fell out onto the entrance ramp from the force of the lariot. Cyrus points and the six young men dressed in in black t-shirts and grey athletic pants begin racing up the aisle as the mulleted man begins dragging Mannetti backstage by one leg]
Phil Blauer: Looks like I gotta go help those guys beat up that southerner.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil, when did you become part of Cyrus' entourage??
Phil Blauer: What's an entourage? I just like kicking helpless southerners.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus begins feverously motioning to Lux, who grabs Jinn Blaze, Michael Maxwell, Bludd, Tatsuya Arakawa, and Joe Charleston and races up behind the carpet rollers.
[Cyrus shakes his head and after an uncomfortable amount of time, finally motions for "Wild" Bill Kasal to get in the ring.]
"Wild" Bill Kasal: ... Cyrus Williams? err... <cough> CYRUS WILLIAMS!!!
(Cyrus groans. The audience boos and then hear “This Celluloid Dream” by AFI. They applaud as Syberus walks out with the Hardkore World Light Heavyweight title strapped around his waist. One San Diego fan holds up a sign that has Thomas Haven & Incredible Y crossed out and then reads “Hardkore World Heavyweight & Light Heavyweight Champion”)
Phil Blauer: (sits back down) Ah, forget it. If I gotta run for it, then the stompin just ain't worth it.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus has won the World titles in HPWA & UCW, but never a title with this sort of lineage going back to 1989. The wrestling fan inside him must be honored.
Phil Blauer: It’s probably also buying Cena’s CD and posting about HHH sucking.
Yolanda Ando: Syberus wearing some dark blue vinyl-look shorts with a circle of yellow stars on the back depicting the European Union. Complimenting that are some black elbow and knee Pads. His hands are covered in white wrist and hand tape. Completing the get-up are black boots with white kickpads.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “And his opponent, from The Continent of Europe; Standing 6 feet even; Weighing 230 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE WORLD LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...SYBERUS!!!”
(The Cox Arena gives him a round of applause. Mike Peters signals for the bell, and shoos Cyrus’ cornermen out of the ring. Syberus rushes Cyrus in his corner and knees him in the stomach)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus starts this match off with a knee to the stomach that sends Williams to his knees. Syberus winds back and cracks him in the back of the head with a stiff kick. He headlocks Cyrus.
(The fans clap as Syberus grinds his arm into Cyrus’ temple. Syb then switches it up into a hammerlock. Peters checks in and Syberus wrenches up on his chicken winged arm)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus applies an armbar. He sticks his knee into Cyrus’ back and pulls back with all his might. Cyrus pops Syberus in the face with a right hand!
(Cyrus gets to his feet and cracks him in the jaw again with a stiff jab. Cyrus grabs Syberus by the hair and drags his face along the canvas)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cyrus drops a knee on to the top of Syberus’ head! Again! One more Hatefuck knee! Cyrus grabs Syberus’ arm and rolls him over with his leg, wrapping his arm in a chicken wing around Cyrus’ leg. Uma plata with a cross face!!
(Mike Peters checks in to see Syberus wants to submit. Cyrus pulls up on his head, and gives his hammerlocked arm another wrap around his leg. Syberus shouts out in pain, but tries to resist the increasing urge to tap)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus rakes Cyrus’ eyes and rolls out of the uma plata. He gets to his feet and slaps Cyrus in the face!
(The Cox Arena cheers and Cyrus checks his mouth for blood. His face turns red, and he goes for Syberus’ throat. Syberus catches him facefirst in a flapjack)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus capitalizes with some forearm smashes along the small of Cyrus’ back & shoulders. He stands him up with an uppercut! Cyrus answers with a european uppercut of his own.
(Cyrus tries to follow it with a kick, but Syberus catches his foot. Cyrus smacks him upside the head with an enzuigiri! That knocks him to one knee. Cyrus backs up and then cracks him with a shining wizard! Syberus wobbles on his knees, Cyrus backs up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cyrus Williams whacks him with a yakuza kick! Cyrus backs up again, and finally charges at Syberus and rolling koppo kicks him in the face!
(The crowd boos and Cyrus kips up, and spits on his fallen opponent. Cyrus grabs Syberus’ arm and applies a jujigatame. The spit runs down Syberus’ face as Cyrus pulls up on his armbar)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Both men going to work on the arm early. Cyrus stands up a little to put pressure on his arm. Cyrus sits on Syberus’ back, full nelsons his arms and sits back into a butterfly lock! Cyrus plants his feet and rocks back on the Englishman’s head & arms.
(The fans boo Syberus’ predictament. Cyrus finally releases the butterfly and pulls him up into a suplex. Syberus floats over behind his back and runs him into the ropes with a bridging backroll press)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus Willliams gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus irish whips Cyrus into the ropes and powerslams him!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus Williams kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus picks him up and delivers a textbook suplex. He runs into the ropes and knocks Cyrus down with a clothesline. He bounces off the ropes and hits him with a second clothesline, sending him down to one knee. Cyrus ducks a third clothesline and drops him on his Briton noggin with a backdrop driver!!
(Crowd boos, as Syberus flops over on to his stomach. Cyrus climbs up to the top rope. He hops off with both feet to Syberus' knee! Syberus sits up, clutching his knee and leg, rolling around the mat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams applies a single leg boston crab. He cranks back on Syberus' leg as hard as humanly possible, trying to take out the leg he just stomped on with both feet from the top rope. He sticks his boot on the back of Syberus' head and stands on it.
(Mike Peters checks in to see if he submits, Syberus refuses so Cyrus stands on his neck harder. Syberus grabs hold of Cyrus' foot and trips him out into an ankle lock, into a dragon sleeper. The audience applauds and Cyrus squeezes his head like a vice)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus pulls back on Williams' head, as Cyrus looking to escape. He pulls him up to his feet and drops Cyrus with a reverse DDT!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus Williams kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus pulls him up into a half nelson, ties up their legs and pitches him forward onto his face! Syberus waistlocks him, but Cyrus back elbows him before the german suplex. He scoops him up and drops him headfirst in a northern lights bomb!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Syberus gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus applies a triangle choke to Syberus' throat. Syberus reaches out for the ropes, but no one's that tall. Cyrus clamping down on his windpipe and squeezing the very English life out of him.
Phil Blauer: You people don't get over things very easily do you? Look, England gave back half of that swampy miserable island of yours. That's more than Scotland has.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus rolls Cyrus onto his shoulders and pins them to the mat.
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus Williams releases the triangle choke)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams dumps Syberus on his head with a wristclutch exploder! Cyrus wraps Syberus' legs up into an indian deathlock.
Phil Blauer: Remember 2003, when everyone did that move? It was hot in 83 then came back twenty years later only to fade away again.
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's how they do it. Now if only they'd realize that the neckbreaker and all it's variations are played out.
Phil Blauer: Still writing letters?
Guillermo O'Bannon: You know it. Speaking of which, what happened to that? Remember when everyone's finisher was initials? The STF, the SSD, the TKO, The 3D...
Phil Blauer: The MIROFA.
Guillermo O'Bannon: What's that?
Phil Blauer: John Heidenriech's move. The MIROFA, Move I Ripped Off From Abyss.
(Cyrus faces Syberus forward and grabs his arms. He raises his boot and stomps the back of his head over & over! The San Diego crowd gets up in arms about this. Cyrus sneers at them and pulls him up to his feet. He irish whips him into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus ducks under a roundhouse kick from Cyrus, and hits a neckbreaker! The crowd back on his side, and he applies an abdominal stretch. He sticks his foot and pulls back on his arm, as Cyrus cries out in pain.
(Williams tries to hiptoss out of it, but Syberus kidney punches and cinches the abdominal stretch in even harder. Syberus then rolls him onto the mat into an on-the-mat version)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Let the Tony Thunders and the Ayame Tokugawas of the World fly around. Syberus' pound & ground style has been what has made him so popular here on the West Coast. Syberus rolls it into a cradle!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus Williams gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus lifts him up into a hanging suplex, then drops his head into a brainbuster!! Syberus neglects to go for the pin, and instead makes a rare trip to the top turnbuckle. Cyrus rolls out of the way of a flying elbow!!
(Cyrus scoops Syberus up on his shoulder, then drops down to his knees with a tombstone piledriver! He holds Syberus down by his collarbone)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Syberus gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus struggles up to his knees and Cyrus comes off the ropes with a penalty kick to the chest!
Phil Blauer: You know, if it weren't for a little "be" these guys would have the same name. That's something to think about.
Matt Boone: Very deep, sir.
Guillermo O'Bannon: No it isn't. Cyrus full nelsons him, and dragon suplexes him!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Syberus rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus runs into the ropes, but Syberus ducks under a burning lariot, Cyrus comes back at him but Syberus backdrops him. Syberus hits the ropes and spears him!
(The Cox Arena is really starting to get into it. Syberus front facelocks him and sits down on his legs. Cyrus cries out with muffled screams, as Haven bends him forward, squeezing his head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus with a seated front dragon sleeper, Mike Peters there and ready in case Cyrus wants to give this shot at becoming the first ever three time consecutive Hardkore World Champion a pass.
(Cyrus twists out of it and gets to his feet, with the front facelock applied. Cyrus backdrops out of it, but Syberus turns it into a crucifix cradle)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus Williams slips his arms out of Syberus' legs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Both men back up to a vertical base, and Syberus takes a swing at him. Cyrus ducks under him and release german suplexes him!!
(Syberus staggers up, and charges Cyrus but Cyrus is waiting for him with high roundhouse kick! He follows it up with a wind up knee to his face. Williams applies a cobra clutch)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The F'n Vyrus spins him round & round, then down into a Dangerous Cobra Driver while still maintaining the cobra clutch!! He covers him!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Syberus gets his foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus irish whips Syberus into the ropes, but Syberus comes back with a dropkick to the groin! Syberus drops him with a pumphandle slam! He waistlocks Cyrus and drops him back into a northern lights suplex!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Cyrus Williams gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus measures Williams and drops him with a Highlight Cutter!!
(Syberus picks Cyrus up into a single underhook position. But before he can hit The Pure Confidence DDT, Cyrus rolls it over into an inverted facelock. He lifts him up into an inverted suplex but drops him into a ace crusher)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams hits The Blackout!!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
(The crowd boos, and "Personal Jesus" by Marilyn Manson plays through The Cox Arena. His massive entourage rushes the ring, throwing towels over his head and wet sponges to cool him off)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 15 minutes 56 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH; ADVANCING TO THE FINALS...CYRUS WILLIAMS!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus now goes back home to Palm Springs to wrestle Big Bad Bill in the finals for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament! But he may have to do it without his personal ring announcer, Paul Mannetti who got Lillian Garcia'd out of the building by some deranged southerner.
Phil Blauer: Deranged southerner is kind of redundant.
Guillermo O'Bannon: One wonders if he'll be able to keep his mind on Big Bad Bill without his friend, Manetti. This was the first match he's wrestled since his return without him.
Phil Blauer: And yet somehow he persevered.
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Jun 01, 2005#20
[The scene goes back to a shot of Paul Mannetti, while the Texas Trash Compactor begins waking him up by kicking him in the face.]
Paul Mannetti: What the Hell do you want with me... and why do you smell so badly?
Jonnie Lee Harley: Shudup!! Ah'll faight yer face in Jew boy!
[Harley for the first time all night, realizes theres a camera pointed at him as he spits a tabacco wad at Mannetti. He rubs a hand through his greasy hair and grins a chew stained smile.]
Harley: Whuts this Cops? Err Jerry Springer cam? YEEEEEEE HAAAAW Hello Jessifer! Ah'm on Telievision... I'da lahkta thank Skoal fer sponserin mah teeth, an' Jessifer fer bein' mah wahf.
Paul Mannetti: Someone... please... kill me now.
[From off screen walks Cobryn.]
Cobryn: Not yet Mannetti... We've got a show to put on tonight. Tonights the night the fans start recognizing the talents of Cobryn. Tonight, with your help Mannetti... they're gonna scream my name.
Brain and Ali: COBRYN! COBRYN! COBRYN! COBRYN!!!!
[And the other side of the room...]
Harley: COBURN!! COBURN!!!
Cobryn: Just like that.
[Cobryn scratches his chin and sets his foot on Mannetti's chest. He adjusts it four or five times until he's finally comfortable. When he's ready... he looks back to the camera.]
Cobryn: Why? Why is the question Cobryn has determined that everyone is asking themselves right now. Why has Cobryn tactfully woo'ed Mannetti from that freak Cyrus Williams and convinced him to join Cobryn?
Brain: Yeah... why did we do that?
Cobryn: You know... Cobryn has been thinking about things lately. Especially since the hundreds of thousands remembered my win against Tripps on Memorial Day, and the float I was on in the UWA Memorial parade ran over Dan Fouts, who was playing an Indian for the much smaller Rockin' Rick Owens float.
For years people have grown to despise me. Despise everything I've stood for... and cheer like "BX" when O.J. got an innocent verdict when anyone... anyone got an upperhand on Cobryn.
For what? Why do these people jeer me?
Why, when all Cobryn does is bring thirty minutes of happiness to their otherwise completely pathetic and unimportant lives?
[Cobryn shakes his head in honest bewilderment.]
Cobryn: Meanwhile they'll cheer Death Gojira, they'll cheer Kilroy Evans and Andrew Karnage, They'll cheer for BBB... They'll throw lunch at Cyrus Williams when he enters the ring... but for Cobryn? Nothing but undeserved hate and resentment.
[Cobryn helps Mannetti up from the ground.]
Cobryn: Cobryn needs a new PR man, and you've just passed your first interview Mannetti. You're the man who's going to turn this all around for me. Excellent job swerving Cyrus by staying in the bathroom too long. Brilliant even.
Mannetti: What the Hell are you talking about you incredible asshole?
[Harley with a boot to Mannetti's stomach.]
Cobryn: Tonight, you'll introduce Cobryn to the world and make them realize how wrong they all were for all these years.
You'll make them realize that Cobryn is what they all want. They want a winner. They want a Champion... they want to cheer me because each and everyone of them would trade their first born just to step in Cobryn's shoes for five minutes.
[Mannetti looks completely confused now.]
Cobryn, eyeing the camera now: Tonight... You'll all love me, because I've decided thats whats best for you... And thats about that.
[Cobryn turns toward Mannetti.]
Cobryn: Mannetti... get on an intro for Cobryn... I must go prepare for the showering of love I shall recieve from the fans in Denver tonight.
[Cobryn flashes a smile at the camera.]
Cobryn: Who loves you Denver? Cobryn loves you... and from now on, Cobryn has decided that you'll love him back.
I'm John Elway without the horse teeth and just think... you didnt have to wait 14 years for a Championship.
(The ring crew puts the finishing touches on Tony Thunder’s skateboard ramp in front of the ring. The Cox Arena murmurs in boredom, as the majority of them wander back to their seats after the intermission)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Let me take you back to Palm Springs...
Phil Blauer: If it’s all the same Guillermo, I’d rather not. I sort of have a warrant or six there. Tell you what, we’ll handle it like my custody visits with my kid. I’ll meet you at the county line.
Guillermo O’Bannon: It was last October, when Tony Thunder & The Shootfighter last tussled in their first one on one match.
(Fade back to the match. A graphic is supered over it that reads “October 6th, 2004- Hardkore Hall. Tony Thunder pulls Shootfighter's head into his legs and drops him on his neck with a tigerbomb with no cradle. Tony Thunder climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tony Thunder comes from out of the sky with a split legged leg drop!!
-fade-
Guillermo O'Bannon: Thunder shoots Shooty into the ropes and comes back with a huracanrana but Shootfighter catches him and drops him over the ropes!!
-fade-
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter belly to belly suplexes Tony Thunder and his 6'5 frame liquifies the table!!
-fade-
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter nails another muy thai kick right in his chest that drops him to the mat. The Shootfighter steps through his legs and then turns him over into a sharpshooter he calls The Shootcrab!!
(Judge Death celebrates around the ringside area and The Shootfighter stands tall and leans back, liontamer style)
-fade-
(Crowd is on their feet, while Tony Thunder hobbles up to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tony Thunder with a breathtaking double somersault 900 splash!!
-fade-
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter nails a russian sickle, flooring The Extremist! He wraps Tony Thunder's hurt leg up into a reverse indian deathlock! The Shootfighter Leglock!!
(Thunder cries out in agony, clutching his right knee. Shootfighter sits up to heighten the excruciating pain)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Thunder does a push-up but Shootfighter sits up higher...Thunder taps!!!
(The theme to Mortal Kombat plays as Palm Springs showers The Thai Giant with boos & venom. The Shootfighter releases The Shootfighter Leglock, and Tony Thunder rolls over holding his knee. The shot fades back to The Cox Arena. “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC plays and the San Diego fans go nuts. Laser rays of blue and red shower the ramp up to the ring)
Guillermo O’Bannon: But that was then and this is now. The Shootfighter worked down Tony Thunder’s knee until he tore the MCL, and he was forced to tap out to The Shootfighter Leglock. Thunder wasn’t the same until the last few months, winning the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team titles with his partners The Black Experience.
Phil Blauer: He won those titles off of The Shootfighter, “God’s Gift” Jeremiah Vastrix, and Tarrasque in a scaffold match. Better known as, “Phil’s Phriday”.
(“The Extremist” Tony Thunder skateboards out to the ring with Bruno walking behind him. The San Diego crowd gives a monster pop for the California natives. Bruno slaps as many fans hands’ as he can. They try and touch the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Title belt slung over his shoulder. Tony Thunder skates up the prearranged half-pipe and lands in the ring)
Yolanda Ando: Tony Thunder wears a black shirt with “X-Games” on the front and “Tony Thunder Rulz, DUDE!” on the back. He wears the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Title belt strapped around his waist with black shorts underneath. He also wears blue elbow and knee pads.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “The following contest is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and is for the HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPIONSHIP! Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by Bruno; From Venice Beach, California; Standing at 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 250 pounds; He is One Third of the Current HARDKORE WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...’THE EXTREMIST’ TONY THUNDER!!!”
(Thunder slings his title belt over his shoulder, then stands on the second turnbuckle to soak in that San Diego pop. Then “The Theme from Mortal Kombat” by The Immortals plays and Judge Death leads The Shootfighter down to the ring. Blak Lung follows behind them, glaring at the audience. The fans boo the three of them. Judge Death carries the stainless steel singapore cane over his shoulder and points Shootfighter to the ring with it)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Shootfighter saw that Tony Thunder brought his best friend, Bruno down to the ring and decided to have some back up of his own. The Shadows of the Night are representing.
Phil Blauer: The Shootfighter saw that Tony Thunder is bringing his black guy, so he’s bringing his. Don’t start none, won’t be none.
Guillermo O’Bannon: It’s just that Bruno is seven feet tall and Blak Lung isn’t even 190 pounds.
Phil Blauer: Rusty wire hangers are quite an equalizer. Besides like it says on my refrigerator magnet; “It’s not the size of the black guy in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the black guy.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: I remember they blurred it out on MTV’s Cribs. Both The Shootfighter & Tony Thunder fell from 25 feet in the air in Albuquerque. As we saw earlier tonight in Tarrasque’s match, that isn’t real condusive to winning your next match. We’ll see who can bounce back from one of wrestling’s worst bumps.
Yolanda Ando: The Shootfighter wears knee length black wrestling tights, black wrestling boots, and sharp studded forearm pads. His black robe with a red dragon on the back is held together with his Hardkore West Coast Championship title belt.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by Blak Lung and his manager, Judge Death; From Bangkok, Thailand; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds; He is The HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION...THE SHOOTFIGHTER!!!”
(The fans boo The Shootfighter. He folds his arms, staring into Tony Thunder’s eyes, while Blak Lung unstraps his title belt and Judge Death pulls his black robe off. Bruno massages a nervous Thunder’s shoulders, giving him last minute instructions. Peters signals for the bell)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Shootfighter rushes Tony Thunder, but The Extremist belly to belly suplexes him! He irish whips Thunder into the ropes and drives him into the mat with a spinebuster!
(The Cox Arena applauds. Tony Thunder applies a sleeper on the mat. He sticks his knee in Shootfighter’s back and squeezes his jaw. Judge Death shouts out terse instructions)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The West Coast Champion gets up to his feet and drops down to his knees to break the sleeper with a jawbreaker. The Shootfighter knife edge chops him as he staggers around. Again!
(The Shootfighter backs him into a corner and blasts him with another knife edge chop to the throat. He jabs him with a dragon claw strike to his lungs, then another to his kidneys)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Shootfighter has Thunder trapped in the corner, and is taking the advantage with a dragon claw strike to his heart. He hits him in the ribcage, and then again to the kidneys. He backs up and charges him but The Extremist is ready for him with The Thunder Kick upside his head!!
(The San Diego fans cheer Tony Thunder as he climbs up to the top rope. He flips forward into a swanton bomb!! The crowd applaud even louder as Mike Peters slides into position)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(The Shootfighter gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tony Thunder belly to back suplexes him. Thunder pulls his head into his legs and lifts him up into a powerbomb, but the West Coast Champion rolls up and muy thai punches him in the nose!
(The Shootfighter lands on his feet, and then hits him with a second muy thai punch to the face. He hits Thunder under the armpit with a muy thai kick)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Shootfighter hits Tony Thunder in the kidney with a muy thai kick. He hit hooks him up and snap suplexes The Extremist. He twists his legs until their both up into the same position and he gives him a second snap suplex.
(The Shootfighter rolls his legs until he’s up for a third and final suplex. He lifts Thunder up onto his shoulders into a human torture rack. He spins him around & around in the backbreaker until Thunder reverses it into a crucifix cradle)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(The Shootfighter gets his arms loose)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tony Thunder t-bone suplexes The Shootfighter on to his head! He climbs up to the second turnbuckle, his legs hit the top rope and he backflips into a split legged moonsault!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The crowd really supporting their fellow Californian here.
Phil Blauer: Why not? Arnold’s ruining all their children’s futures! They need one another.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tony Thunder runs into the ropes and tumbles into a rolling thunder legdrop!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(The Shootfighter gets his foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tony Thunder climbs to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a moonsault, but Shootfighter drives his knees up into his stomach!! Shootfighter cracks Thunder in the chest with a stiff punch, and another.
Phil Blauer: He zeroes in on where his knees hit Thunder in the ribs and punches him over & over. He runs into the ropes and drops him to the mat with a russian sickle with that studded forearm pad!
(The Shootfighter applies a claw to his aching ribs and another to his face to keep him from moving. Thunder grimaces in pain, and Bruno slaps the apron over & over to get the audience clapping. The Cox Arena is clapping in unison in support of Thunder)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Shootfighter squeezing the area of Thunder’s chest & ribs that he’s been battering with kicks, chops, punches, and knees these past six minutes. He pulls him up into a waistlock, then german suplexes him!
(Shootfighter rolls up into a second and then third rolling german suplex!! When he releases him on the fourth, but Thunder flips onto his feet)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Thunder returns the favor with a german suplex of his own!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(The Shootfighter rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Shootfighter is first to his feet and applies a nerve hold to both of Thunder’s carotid arteries. Thunder’s entire bodies tense up as Shootfighter squeezes their most painful pressure points.
(Thunder shouts out refusals to tap out as Shootfighter applies a claw hold to either of his shoulders. Thunder finally fireman’s carries him over to get out of the double nerve hold)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tony Thunder pulls Shootfighter into his legs and gives him a tigerbomb!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(The Shootfighter claps his legs together on Thunder’s head)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tony Thunder irish whips Shootfighter into the ropes and drives his head into the mat with a huracanrana with a cradle!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tony Thunder climbs to the top turnbuckle, and backflips into a shooting star press but no one’s home!! The Shootfighter wraps up Thunder’s legs and turns him over into a sharpshooter. He slides Thunder’s legs up high along his thigh and pulls back on his twisted legs.
(Mike Peters checks in with Tony Thunder as The Shootfighter yanks back on his legs. Bruno claps, trying to root Thunder on, but Shootfighter has The ShootCrab locked in. Tony Thunder reaches out for the ropes but the West Coast Champion plants his feet and tugs his legs backwards, to quell any escape attempt)
Guillermo O’Bannon: He releases The ShootCrab and starts laying into the small of his back with muy thai kicks.
Phil Blauer: Shootfighter standing over Thunder, kicking him over & over in the back, like he owes him money. Which reminds me, I have to go double or nothing on Pittsburgh or I’m a deadman. Boonesy?
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: I called, but Sonny says he can’t cover you. Not this time.
Phil Blauer: Hmmm. See if your mother can part with your precious college fund to get the wager covered. Not like you’re gonna use it.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: (salutes) Will do!
Phil Blauer: I feel good about this one, Matthew. I have a system. And that system says a Colorado Rocky can beat up a White Sock anyday.
Gillermo O’Bannon: The Shootfighter scoops Thunder up and drops him across his knee. He pulls him up into a second backbreaker. He lifts him up a third time and powerslams him!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tony Thunder kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Shootfighter applies a cobra clutch and wraps his legs around Thunder’s ribs, then drops back to the mat. Shootfighter may have been working down the chest and ribs this entire match for The ShootClutch.
Phil Blauer: The fans sure don’t pop The ShootClutch.
(Peters checks in but Thunder refuses to submit. Shootfighter continues to constrict his opponent’s breathing with his legs around The Extremist’s waist. Tony Thunder uses his free arm to scratch Shootfighter's eyes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tony Thunder gets out of the ShootClutch and gets a little revenge with a cobra clutch of his own! Thunder whips him from side to side, not allowing him to gain his footing and possibly escape.
(The San Diego fans cheer as Shootfighter begins to fade. Blak Lung & Judge Death pound on the apron, trying to wake him up. Thunder releases the cobra clutch and pulls the weakened Shootfighter into his legs. He lifts him up onto his shoulder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tony Thunder runs across the ring and awesome bombs him!! He climbs to the top turnbuckle and 900 splashes The Shootfighter!!
(The audience cheers that death defying move and Peters slides into position)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Thunder sits Shootfighter on the top turnbuckle, and then climbs to the second turnbuckle. He grabs Shootfighter by the legs and comes off with a superbomb, but Shootfighter reverses it into a huracanrana!!
(Blak Lung passes Shootfighter his rusty wire hanger. Shootfighter holds Thunder down and jabs the wire into Tony's forehead, digging it back & forth. Blood spews from the dark laceration. Shootfighter stands over Thunder and batters him with forearms)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter bashing a bloody Extremist over & over with forearm smashes. The Shootfighter wraps Thunder's leg around his ankle into a crippler crossface!!
(Shootfighter pulls up on his head, as blood runs down Tony's face and down Shootfighter's hands. Peters checks in to see if Thunder taps. Tony refuses, so Shootfighter yanks up on his head & arm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Thunder grabs one of the ropes, and Peters forces him to break The Shootfighter Crossface. Shootfighter applies an armbar, but Thunder armdrags him over. He scoops Thunder up and runs across the ring, and drops down to one knee with a shoulderbreaker!
(Tony Thunder applies an abdominal stretch. Blood runs down his face as he uses his larger stature to bend Shootfighter backwards)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Extremist trying to get Shootfighter to give up that Hardkore West Coast Championship, but Shootfighter hiptosses him out of it. He hits Thunder in the balls a couple times. He applies a triangle choke and falls back to the mat.
(The Cox Arena boos and jeers, as Thunder waves his arms wildly, looking to grab the ropes. Shootfighter rolls him to the side and clamps down on Thunder's throat. Bruno shouts out words of encouragement of his quickly fading friend)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter pulls him up to his feet and drops him backwards into a t-bone suplex! He irish whips him into the ropes, and belly to belly suplexes him, but Thunder lands on his feet. He comes back with a monkey flip!
(Tony Thunder takes a second to wipe the blood out of his eyes, and then pumphandles him up on to his shoulder. He flips him forward into a powerslam. He climbs up to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tony Thunder backflips into a shooting star press and this time he hits it!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tony Thunder leg drops Shootfighter and climbs to the top turnbuckle again.
(Blak Lung rolls that singapore cane over to The Shootfighter. Thunder comes off the top turnbuckle with a frog splash, but Shootfighter whacks him with the stainless steel singapore cane in mid-air)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter drapes his arm over Tony Thunder!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The bell rings and the audience boos. "The Theme from Mortal Kombat" by The Immortals plays through The Cox Arena. Blak Lung and Judge Death prop The Shootfighter up and hand him his Hardkore West Coast Championship)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter, with the help of that stainless steel singapore cane and Blak Lung, retains the Hardkore West Coast title.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 15 minutes 45 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND STILL HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION...THE SHOOTFIGHTER!!!"
(The crowd boos even louder until a man jumps out of the crowd, over the railing, and steps into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: It's Tony Thunder's uncle, DKahuna!
Phil Blauer: Shouldn't he be minding his burger stand with the hawaiian theme?
Guillermo O'Bannon: He's tired of seeing his nephew abused by people like The Shadows of the Night! He's on fire, knocking Judge Death, Blak Lung, and The Shootfighter to the mat with right hands! He shoots Judge Death into the ropes and back body drops him high into the air!
(The San Diego crowd goes nuts, as Death lands on his tailbone hard and begins to beg off from DKahuna. Suddenly, he's clubbed in the back of the head by Blak Lung with the singapore steel cane)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno steps over the ropes into the ring with the devil in his eye! He grabs Blak Lung by the throat and chokeslams him!
(The San Diego crowd cheers and chants "BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!!" Bruno grabs an exhausted Shootfighter and hooks him up into a suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno drops The Shootfighter on his head onto the top of his head from seven feet in the air with The Brunobuster!! Tony Thunder applies his Extreme Pain STF finisher on The Shootfighter!!
(The bell continues to ring over & over as Thunder stretches a nearly unconcious Shootfighter. Bruno helps DKahuna to his feet, and he walks over and asks his nephew to break the hold. The fans cheer Bruno, DKahuna, and Thunder as they walk back to the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter may have won the battle but who won the war here tonight?
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Jun 02, 2005#23
[The theme from Fame begins to play as Mister Fame steps out from behind the curtain. The fans rock the house with boos, throwing paper cups and soda cans at the devious manager. The jeers from the audience have no effect on him as he slips into the ring, with a grin on his face and a mic in hand.)
Mr. Fame: I know… I know. You’re all excited about the news I’m about to deliver to you.
(The fans boo loudly. Chants of “Fuck you, Mister Fame! Fuck you!” *clap clap clap* begin.)
Mr. Fame: Settle down. There’s action on the set… and in the locker room, if you know what I mean. You see, a few months ago, some miserable scoundrel snuck into the women’s locker room and video taped Xyrynth undressing.
(The fans boo.)
Mr. Fame: Since then, Xyrynth has been receiving demands from this dubious individual. And since then, she has refused to give into them. (he pauses) What a trooper. However, new video has been uncovered! Video of her and that walking Kane-reject, Phoenix, having intimate affairs right in our respectable arenas! I’m sorry, friends… but this is totally unacceptable.
(Fans: “Fuck you, Mister Fame! Fuck you!” *clap clap clap*)
Mr. Fame: Thankfully, that mysterious figure was able to catch that on tape! Now, Xyrynth faces a new demand… Either leave Hardkore World forever… or face total humiliation as I play the tape to the ENTIRE WORLD.
(One fan takes out his laptop and holds up his digital camera, ready to record everything played.)
Mr. Fame: The choice is yours, Xyrynth. Make it the right one.
(Fame drops the mic and rolls out of the arena. As makes his way up the ramp, fans shout profanities while some praise him as their new god.)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up next we have a match between the Hardkore World Women's Champion Ayame Tokugawa and Horror Girl. After upsetting Xyrynth for the Hardkore World title in a ladder match, Ayame defeated Brandi in a steel cage match. So she has survived her trial of fire thus far, but no one makes it through a match with Horror Girl the same wrestler they came in as.
Phil Blauer: But does Horror Girl has the where with all to be able to focus and win a big time match? So far, the answer has been no. She has been able to win anything put in front of her on the mid-card, but in the main event, her blue-ish eyes seem to glaze over.
(As "Haunted" By Evanescence plays, Mr. Fame steps through the curtain with a large cup of Starbucks coffee. Horror Girl walks out, cautiously making her way towards the ring. Bernice Biggs walks out next, and Horror Girl pauses, tilting her head the nearbye camera)
Phil Blauer: Horror Girl told me before we came on that she is overjoyed that Xyrynth has left Hardkore World, as she felt her act had gotten stale. She's excited about shaking up the women's division with something other than Xyrynth vs. Tamara Sanchez 9.
Guillermo O'Bannon: She said all that?
Phil Blauer: Well, it was alot grunts and moaning about "brains", but you have to learn to read between the lines if you wanna make it in the reporting game.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Check.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl had one of the most entertaining women's matches in Palm Springs Punishment in the first ever steel cage Cat Collar Match with three time Hardkore World Women's Champion "Sexy" Anjanette Turner. A match so violent, neither lady was quite the same afterwards.
Yolanda Ando: Horror Girl wears tightly fitted mummy wrappings around her chest, hips, forearms, hands and legs. Her skin is a pale blue and her hair is tinted a slight grayish purple. Her eyes are a very, very light blue. It's so light it looks whited out. Lastly, she has the classic zombie darkness around her eyes.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and it is for the HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE! Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by Bernice Biggs and her manager, Mr. Fame; From Parts Unknown; Standing 5 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 138 pounds...HORROR GIRL!!!"
(When Horror Girl gets into the ring, she crawls in and goes to the corner where she crouches down and stares at the entranceway, waiting for Ayame Tokugawa to make her appearence. Then "Before I'm Dead" by The Kidneytheives plays. The fans boo as Pedro "El Gallo" Santiago and KJ "Dracon" Xanathos lead Ayame "Phoenix" Tokugawa out to the ring with the Hardkore World Women's Championship strapped around her waist)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame no matter what she says in the safety of her locker room promos, is clearly scared of Horror Girl.
Phil Blauer: I'm scared of Horror Girl.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: So am I.
Yolanda Ando: Me too.
Guillermo O'Bannon: That makes three of us.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Four.
Guillermo O'Bannon: You don't count, Matt. Ayame must keep the deadhead guessing, and stay away from those razor sharp teeth.
Phil Blauer: (looks at his crotch) That goes for you too.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Don't talk to your penis anymore, Phil. I'm not gonna tell you again.
Yolanda Ando: You should see when he keeps saying to it, "Come on, work! Damn you!" Ayame Tokugawa wears a sexy black leather mini skirt, thigh high boots, and a bustier with crimson Japanese characters.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And her opponent, accompanied to the ring by Pedro "El Gallo" Santiago and her manager, KJ "Dracon" Xanathos; From Kyoto, Japan; Standing 5 feet 9 inches tall; Weighing 133 pounds; She is The Current HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...AYAME 'PHOENIX' TOKUGAWA!!!"
(The San Diego fans boo her, and she holds the title belt high up in the air then hands it to Mike Peters. Suddenly, Horror Girl runs through Peters, Santiago, & Xanathos and latches on to her face with her razor sharp nails)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl shrieking like a banshee!
Phil Blauer: Don't your people worship them like Gods? And fear them?
Guillermo O'Bannon: She tosses Tokugawa over the ropes and our match begins! She runs out to the floor, and kicks Ayame in the stomach, and runs up the apron into an acid drop outside the ring, dropping her head first onto the cement floor!!
(The audience cheers Tokugawa's face bouncing off the floor, while Horror Girl picks her up and whips her to the steel post)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame hits the post, and Horror Girl stays on her with a spinning heel kick to the back of Phoenix's head, banging her face right back into the ringpost!! With the steel steps right by them now, Horror Girl picks up Tokugawa in a vertical suplex, then plants her on the steps with a half dominator into a rock bottom!!!
(The Cox Arena is deafening with the monster pop as Ayame's body riccochets off the steel steps!! The crowd chants "HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!!" Pedro "El Gallo" Santiago comes over to help but Horror Girl snarls at him, so he thinks better of it)
Phil Blauer: What a move on those steel steps and this match could be over already!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl rolls into the ring and grabs Ayame by the hair, pulling her back into the ring. She sinks her teeth into her shoulder!
(The crowd boos and as blood runs from where Horror Girl is gnashing her teeth on the upper part of Tokugawa's shoulder. Horror Girl undoes some of her mummy wrap, and ties it around Ayame's neck)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl pulls her to her feet on the apron, from inside the ring...but Ayame blasts her with a spinning heel kick from the apron!
(She gets back up on the apron and pulls Horror Girl through the ropes out there on the ledge with her. She grabs her by the head and comes off with a side effect off the apron!!! The crowd blows the roof off the Cox Arena again, and restarts their chant of "HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: This match has nearly become the match of the night, in the first few moments! Ayame Tokugawa climbs back up on the apron, hops on to the middle of the second rope and asai moonsaults Horror Girl into the railing!
(The San Diego fans continue to cheer, as Ayame rests out in the front row, on a lucky guy's lap. Horror Girl leans against the security fence, coughing. Tokugawa steps over the railing and back on the attack with her opponent)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame Tokugawa checks her bloody shoulder and then gets up on the top turnbuckle, just waiting for Horror Girl to get to her feet. Ayame hops off the top with a dragon rana but Horror Girl catches her legs and powerbombs her on the concrete!!
Fans: "HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!!"
Phil Blauer: Horror Girl looks well rested after having a couple months off. Ayame Tokugawa has been through a ladder match and a steel cage match in that time.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl rolls back into the ring and slingshots herself onto the middle of the top rope. She springboards off into a missle dropkick, sending the champion crashing into the railing!!
(The Cox Arena continues to be deafening. The crowd gives them a round of applause for such a great beginning. Horror Girl rolls her into the ring, and then steps in her self. Ayame is waiting for her with a hard kick in the stomach)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame Tokugawa pulls Horror Girl up on her shoulder in a samurai driver but Horror Girl falls behind her and yanks her to the mat by the hair! She drops on to her neck with a sharp elbow.
(Horror Girl presses Tokugawa over her head, and then tosses her, dropkicking her chest on the way down! The audience applauds. Then the fans start chanting "{Mongo Edit: Fuck Off}!" at Mr. Fame. Bernice puts her hands over his ears. Horror Girl waistlocks Ayame, but Tokugawa back elbows her in the face)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame Tokugawa snap mares Horror Girl over her bleeding shoulder and then dropkicks the back of her neck. She runs into the ropes and takes her over into a running head scissors!
(Audience applauds, and before Horror Girl sits up Tokugawa cracks her in the face with a shining wizard! She stands in front of Horror Girl's body, and backflips into a splash, but Horror Girl puts her knees up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl gut wrenches Ayame into a tigerbomb!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ayame Tokugawa rolls her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl bites Ayame in the shoulder again! She headbutts her a few times, to make it bleed some more. She headlocks Tokugawa so that her head is along the ropes.
(Horror Girl drags Ayame Tokugawa's throat along the top rope. But Ayame back suplexes her. She runs into the ropes and hops on to the middle of the second rope, then lionsaults Horror Girl)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ayame Tokugawa kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame Tokugawa grabs Horror Girl's leg, sticks her knee into her back and turns her over into a single leg boston crab. The Geisha Fan!
Phil Blauer: Horror Girl doesn't feel pain!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: She looks to be in a lot of it right now.
Phil Blauer: Well then what doesn't she do?
Yolanda Ando: Bathe?
(Horror Girl growls and spits as Ayame Tokugawa yanks back on her leg. Mike Peters checks in to see if she taps out, but gets nonsense in return. Ayame releases The Geisha Fan, and then irish whips her into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame Tokugawa catches her on the way back with a black hole slam!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tokugawa irish whips Horror Girl into the ropes but the deadwoman comes back with a spear she turns into a short spinebuster!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ayame Tokugawa kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl irish whips Tokugawa into the turnbuckles so hard she bounces back out, and Horror Girl drop toe holds her face into the second turnbuckle of the other corner. While the she's leaning face first into the turnbuckle, Horror Girl grabs onto her opponent's legs and hits her with an ocean cyclone suplex!!
(Horror Girl, still holding onto Ayame Tokugawa's legs, Horror Girl applies a double ankle lock and pulls it back into a boston crab. She plants her feet and pulls her feet towards the back of her head. Tokugawa cries out in pain while KJ "Dracon" Xanathos shouts words of encouragement from outside the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl trying to win the Hardkore World Women's Championship with The Series of Unholy Events. Ayame Tokugawa reaching out for the ropes with that now blood drenched arm, but not close enough. Horror Girl releases Tokugawa and sets her up in a neckbreaker. She runs up the turnbuckles into a spinning neckbreaker!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ayame Tokugawa kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl front facelocks her and then steps up onto the second turnbuckle, and then comes off with a tornado DDT! Horror Girl puts the boots to her, but Tokugawa catches her foot and takes her down into a dragon screw.
(Tokugawa holds on to her leg and applies an ankle lock. Horror Girl clutches her leg, and Ayame gives it another twist. Santiago & Xanathos applaud on the outside, while Tokugawa looks at her bloody shoulder then wrenches her foot again)
Phil Blauer: It's obvious Xanathos' idea was to take out the leg of The Ghoul Ghirl. I don't know what the idea was behind that suit he's wearing though.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame wraps her legs around Horror Girl's thigh and drops to the mat. She wrenches her foot to the side, trying to get her to tap out again. Horror Girl is not submitting, so Tokugawa releases the anklelock and pulls her up into an inverted facelock. She drops her into an eye of the hurricane!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame pulls Horror Girl up by that rat's nest of hair and irish whips her chestfirst into the turnbuckles. She follows her in with a dropkick to her back, and then cradles her! She's got her feet on the second rope!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Mike Peters sees Tokugawa's feet on the ropes and forces her to break)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Eagle eyed Mike Peters sees the infraction before it cost Horror Girl the match. Ayame Tokugawa climbs to the top turnbuckle but Mr. Fame gets up on the apron and shakes the ropes, Tokugawa is crotched on the top! Horror Girl climbs to the second turnbuckle and butterflies her arms. Double underhook superplex!! She rolls on top of her into a pin attempt!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ayame Tokugawa kicks out)
(Horror Girl applies an armbar to Ayame Tokugawa's bloody arm, placing her knee into her shoulderblade. She clamps down on her arm, and then starts licking & biting Tokugawa's bloody fingers. Phoenix screams in pain, while Xanathos & Santiago argue with Mike Peters to stop her)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl lifts her up by her armbarred arm and then drives her head into the mat with a DDT!! She picks Ayame up into a crotch-tie position, then pumphandles her up into a german suplex!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ayame Tokugawa rolls her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl lifts her up into an ocean cyclone suplex, but Tokugawa rolls behind her into a small package with a handful of mummy wrap!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame Tokugawa hooks her arm around Horror Girl's neck and drops her back into an orton backbreaker. She runs into the ropes and tumbles into a rolling thunder legdrop!
(Xanathos & Santiago applaud on the outside of the ring, congratulating one another on their managerial skills. Meanwhile, Bernice Biggs has walked back up to the locker room. Tokugawa steps out on the apron, and slingshots herself onto the middle of the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame Tokugawa springboard missle dropkicks Horror Girl!! She irish whips her into the ropes, but Horror Girl comes back with a Lo Down powerbomb!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl rolls her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bernice Biggs comes back out from the dressing room with a full garbage can. Mr. Fame throws it over the top rope into the ring! Horror Girl stands it up near the corner and climbs to the second rope. She front facelocks her and hits Phoenix with a tornado ddt right into the top of the trash can!!
(The Cox Arena roars and chants "HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!" Horror Girl hooks Ayame's limp leg)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Dracon Xanathos puts Tokugawa's foot on the bottom rope and calls the ref's attention to it)
Guillermo O'Bannon: KJ "Dracon" Xanathos just saved the championship for his protege there. Horror Girl pulls her up by the hair and irish whips her into the ropes. She huracanranas Tokugawa's skull into the smashed metal garbage can!!
(Horror Girl pumphandles Ayame up, but she falls behind Horror Girl and runs into the ropes. She hits Horror Girl with a high cross body)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tokugawa runs at Horror Girl and crucifixes around her arms and then swings into a Déjà Vu DDT!!
(San Diego crowd applauds, and Ayame bends Horror Girl over her knee and spanks her repeatedly. Horror Girl shrieks in outrage)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl stands up, ready to kill Ayame...Ayame just slapped her across the mouth!
Phil Blauer: That was a mistake...
(The audience, Santiago, Fame, Bernice, Xanathos, and Mike Peters all cover their mouths in shock. The slap made Horror Girl's hair go over her eyes, but her blue eyes burn through her hair with hate)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl spits the blood out of her mouth into Ayame's eyes! She boots Tokugawa in the stomach and lifts her up into a crucifix, she drops her chestfirst on the mat!!
(Horror Girl drags Ayame to the corner and then steps out of the ring. She grabs Tokugawa's leg and bangs the ankle into the corner post. Tokugawa clutches her ankle, and rolls around the ring. Horror Girl rolls back into the ring, and applies an ankle lock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl working down her leg, with that ankle lock. She wrenches her foot from side to side. She picks her up and irish whips into the turnbuckles so hard that she flips into a tree of woe. Horror Girl stands back to belly against Tokugawa in the corner. Standing on Ayame's arms, she slips Tokugawa's legs through the rope and begins pulling! The Coffin of Woe!
(Horror Girl bounces up & down on the second turnbuckle, pulling up on the champion's legs. Ayame's shoulder bleeds all over the bottom turnbuckle and on the canvas below. Horror Girl pulls her out and twists her aching, bloody arm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame Tokugawa reverses it, twisting Horror Girl's arm. She back hook kicks Horror Girl, dropping her! Tokugawa climbs to the top turnbuckle, and comes off the top with a flying lariot!! She standing moonsaults her!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame Tokugawa pulls Horror Girl's head into her legs, and pulls her up on her shoulder, she hits the samurai driver!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The champion climbs up to the top turnbuckle, but Horror Girl gets up soon enough to punch her and trip her on the top rope. She climbs up to the second rope and monkey flips her off the top rope!
(Horror Girl picks up the damaged trash can and puts it over Tokugawa's head. She then irish whips Ayame into the corner, and follows her in with a running dropkick, denting it into her Phoenix's face!! The Cox Arena cheers)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl hooks her ankles up with both of Ayame Tokugawa's legs in a double toe hold. She applies a sleeper hold as well! Horror Girl squeezes her face, and rocks back & forth!
(Ayame Tokugawa shouts out refusals to submit, while Horror Girl continues to try and cut off all of her air. She releases her long enough to pick her up in a double throat lift)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tokugawa kicks Horror Girl in the stomach, to break it. She runs into the ropes and hops on to the middle of the top rope. She backflips into a Fire Bird DDT!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tokugawa climbs to the top turnbuckle and waits for Horror Girl to rise. She jumps off with a ribbreaker stomp to the back of Horror Girl's neck!
(Ayame Tokugawa climbs to the top turnbuckle, and tight rope walks along the rope, getting the audience to applaud. She hops off into a huracanrana)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Before Ayame could get off Horror Girl, the ghoul gives her a nerve hold in between her shoulder & neck. Horror Girl bites Tokugawa's shoulder again! She's gnawing almost to the bone, with blood coming out of her mouth.
(Ayame clutches her shoulder, with blood running through her fingers. As she gets to her knees, Horror Girl comes up from behind and locks her legs around Tokugawa's waist. She then puts on a cross face sleeper hold and arches back, pulling Ayame with her)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Spider's Woe! Horror Girl is arched perfectly on the mat while Ayame Tokugawa is stretched in a sleeper! Mike Peters checks in, and it looks as though the champion is close to giving away her title!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed; 10 Minutes Remaining."
(KJ "Dracon" Xanathos & Pedro "El Gallo" Santiago pound on the canvas, rooting Tokugawa on, urging her not to submit. Horror Girl squeezing the air out of Ayame's lungs. Horror Girl pushes Tokugawa face down on the floor, Horror Girl sits down upon Tokugawa's back and hooks her arm under Ayame's arm and under her neck. Then, she hooks Tokugawa's leg with her other arm. After clasping her hands together, she lifts her up off the mat and racks Ayame over her back)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl lifts her up on her back with The Zombiosis!! When Horror Girl locks her hands together, this puts tremendous pressure on the Ayame Tokugawa's back, neck, shoulder and leg.
Phil Blauer: I have pressure in those same spots. I need to get a massage. Deep, message.
Yolanda Ando: Don't even look over here.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl racking Ayame Tokugawa over her back in The Zombiosis! Peters checking in, but Ayame doesn't look good. She's taken alot of punishment tonight, especially to that bloody shoulder!
(Horror Girl trips Ayame Tokugawa throatfirst on the second rope. Mr.Fame takes the top off of his Starbucks cup, and throws it in her face, horribly scalding her!! She locks on a reverse sleeper, resting Tokugawa's chin on her shoulder. She then lifts up Phoenix and hits her with a flapjacked reversed acecrusher)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Oh, The Horror!! She covers the champion!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
(The audience applauds the excellent match, as "Haunted" By Evanescence plays through The Cox Arena. Mr. Fame grabs the Hardkore World Women's Championship off of timekeeper Ron De La O's table)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. Fame has cost Ayame "Phoenix" Tokugawa the Hardkore World Women's Championship!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 21 Minutes 12 Seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH; AND NEW HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...HORROR GIRL!!!"
(Xanathos rolls a weary, burned, and blood drained Ayame Tokugawa out of the ring. Meanwhile, inside the ring, Mr. Fame hands Horror Girl the championship belt, and she hoists it weakly over her head. Mr. Fame then grabs the mic from Bill Kasal and helps Miss Bernice into the ring as Horror Girl takes the title and straps it around her waist. With a cocky smile on his face, he brings the mic to his lips and speaks)
Mr. Fame: "Like always, everything is coming up aces! Now I know I said if Xyrynth didn't give into her demands, I wouldn't show that video... but you know what? I'm having such a GRRRREAT day, I'm going to show it anyway! Go ahead and roll it boys."
----
[Fame turns around with a nefarious smirk as the video begins starting up. The title "Birds of Hump" appear on big screen and old footage of Xyrynth undressing in the lock room. All of a sudden, before we can see anything else, the video skips, and begins to static.]
Guillermo O'Bannon: Why is he playing this smut??
Phil Blauer: Yeah, we've already seen this part. Who hasn't masturbated with a plastic bag over his head to this a hundred times yet?
[Fame turns around and looks up to see Bernice Biggs on the screen, sitting on a bed, wearing next to nothing on.]
Guillermo O'Bannon: Woah...
[Fame glances off towards Bernice who's covering her mouth in shock.]
Bernice Biggs (on screen): Oh. There is a knocking on the door. The doors unlocked! (she calls out) Come on innnnnn!
[Fame throws the mic down and begins yelling at Bernice asking what the hell is going on. Bernice yelps, backing away from Fame saying she didn't know that was the tape he used to record Xyrynth.]
Bernice Biggs: You're supposed to label them!
[Fame throws his arms up in frustration as the video continues.]
Death Gojira (on screen): SKreeeooorrrnnghk!
Phil Blauer: Ewwww...Goji Porn? That's ill, and I get off to pig fucking.
[Fans suddenly pop as Gojira appears on screen wearing a Pizza Hut shirt on. Fame's eyes go wide as he sees Gojira on screen. He quickly turns to Bernice who has a satisfied look on her face.]
Death Gojira (on screen): Here's your pizzas ma'am. That'll be 12.99.
Bernice Biggs (on screen): Oh no. It seems I don't have enough money to pay for the pizza. Is there any other way I can pay for it?
[Gojira looks to the screen, then back to Bernice.... then back to the screen.... and back to Bernice... Screen... Bernice... Screen... Bernice.]
Phil Blauer: For the love of GOD! Do we have to spell it out for you?!
[What comes next is the most bizarre act of sex ever caught on tape involving anchovies, crazy bread, and a Pepsi bottle. Half the audience turns away in sheer disgust while the other half can't help but continue to watch. Fame looks Bernice with a puzzled look on his face asking how the hell can she fit a Pepsi bottle up there.]
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ugh, fans more grossed out than when Dick Murdoch did that gay hustler gimmick at NWA house shows. But Mr. Fame probably doesn't care, since he is now the proud manager of the Hardkore World Women's Champion. I guess it pays off to hang with zombies.
Phil Blauer: Oldest story in the World...
(Shot opens on the ring crew putting the finishing touches on the steel cage)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Miracle Violence Combination II makes their first title defense against The Black Experience in the unforgiving steel cage. While they haven't been able to defend those titles yet, they haven't been resting on their laurels. Kilroy Evans and Andrew Karnage both lost their respective Hardkore America title shots against Cobryn.
Phil Blauer: Just like Philikins here, The Black Experience has been keeping it real. Real succesful, that is. They defeated The Warhammer Corporation & The Shootfighter for the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team titles in a scaffold match. Now they look to win their second title in as many months.
("Go To Sleep" by Eminem, Obie Trice, and DMX plays and the San Diego crowd gives one of the biggest pops of the night. Red pyros go off, Bruno steps out and flexes his enormous muscles while Stan jogs lightly in place in order to warm up. Casey Sanchez follows them down to the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Judging by that reaction, The Black Experience are the hottest team in Hardkore World right now.
Phil Blauer: I see Jonnie was quick to jump on that with all the merchandise. The crowd is a sea of 10 year old white kids wearing Black Experience jerseys and foam fingers.
Guillermo O'Bannon: They're just old Hunglestien & Tuxedo Mask memorabilia crossed out with "Black Experience" written all over them. You see? You can tell the Hunglestien shirts, see where he wrote over the "III" where it says "BIIIack Experience".
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: I worked all night on those.
Phil Blauer: Fine work, Matthew.
(Stan Wilson steps over the top rope, and raises his fist in the air as a sign of respect between him and the fans)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno and Stan "The Tank" Wilson are two of the biggest wrestlers around right now. But instead of trying to prove who the bigger man is, like they have in UWA and other regions, they've joined forces to dominate the tag team scene.
Yolanda Ando: Stan is wearing some black leather trunks with the words "Big Tank" embroided on the back, and an image of a small tank on the front, and the six man tag team title around his waist He has a black elbow pad, as well as black wrist tape on the left arm. On his right hand, he wears black hand and wrist tape on The Chokeslam Hand. Black kneepads, with ankle length black leather boots to complete the outfit. Bruno wears some black tights with the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team title slung over his shoulder.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following Steel Cage tag team match is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and is for the HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by Casey Sanchez; from Compton, California; Standing an amazing 7 feet tall; Weighing 355 pounds...BRUNO!! His partner is from Birmingham, Alabama; Standing 6 feet 10 inches tall; Weighing 325 pounds...STAN 'THE TANK' WILSON!! They are Two Thirds of THE HARDKORE WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...THE BLACK EXPERIENCE!!!"
(The Cox Arena erupts in cheers, as Bruno & Stan shake the cage walls to pump up the fans, while Sanchez does the same on the outside. "Black Betty" by Spiderbait plays and the audience cheers Kilroy Evans and Andrew Karnage as they walk out. Kilroy waves at the fans with the Hardkore World Tag Team title belt slung over his shoulder. Andrew Karnage mockingly rubs his neck towards Casey Sanchez)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans & Andrew Karnage have become tag team icons when that has become a dirty word, decimating the tag team divisions in UWA, IWA, and Hardkore World.
Yolanda Ando:Andrew Karnage wears black knee length basketball shorts with AK-47 down the outsides of each leg in dark red. Dark red kneepads, and black calf high boots with red laces, and has a black elbow supporter on his right elbow. Kilroy Evans wears a black The Tick t-shirt, brown belt, and denim shorts.
Phil Blauer: (shouts after Kilroy) GET SOME SUN ON THEM LEGS!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent; from Orem, Utah; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 257 pounds...ANDREW KARNAGE!! His partner, from Attbury, South Carolina; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 253 pounds...KILROY EVANS!! They are THE MIRACLE VIOLENCE COMBINATION II!!!"
(The fans cheer and Kilroy enters the cage, and stands on the second turnbuckle, waving to the fans. Bruno comes up from behind Kilroy and drops him with an angle slam! Ron Reid signals for the bell, as Andrew Karnage double times it into the cage)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno has Kilroy Evans hooked up and vertical suplexes him from seven feet in the air! He waistlocks him for a belly to belly but Kilroy drops to his knees and drives the top of his head through Bruno's chin.
(Kilroy Evans grabs Bruno by the head and bashes him in the face over & over with headbutts. Kilroy front facelocks Bruno by the head, but Bruno blocks the DDT)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno lifts him up into a fireman's carry, then runs his face into the steel cage! Bruno then spins him off his shoulders into a B5!!
(The San Diego crowd cheers and Bruno tags in Stan Wilson. Wilson steps over the ropes, and Bruno runs into the ropes. Stan lifts Kilroy into a flapjack, and Bruno comes off the ropes with a rude awakening! The audience gets louder)
Phil Blauer: Two thirds of the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Champions working together like they have been for years.
Guillermo O'Bannon: It was one double team move.
Phil Blauer: What double team move does Rosey & Hurricane do? They're lucky if they show up to the arena the same day.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wilson irish whips Kilroy Evans into the turnbuckles. He drives his shoulder into Evans' stomach a few times. Big Stan suplexes him out of the corner.
(Wilson pulls Kilroy up by his t-shirt, but Evans punches him in the throat. He runs Wilson's face into the steel cage! Kilroy then bites him on the forehead to get the juice a flowin)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans double underhook DDT Stan's face into the canvas! He tags in Andrew Karnage, and holds on to the Stan's double underhooked arms. Karnage climbs to the top rope and comes off with a flying shouldertackle to his own partner, Evans uses the momentum to drive's Stan's head into the canvas even harder!!
(The crowd cheers wildly, and Andrew Karnage applies an STF on Stan "The Tank" Wilson! Ron Reid checks in to see if Wilson wants to tap out, as Big Stan's blood runs down Andrew Karnage's defined forearm)
Phil Blauer: This epitomizes the reason why The Miracle Violence Combination II are so succesful. Kilroy Evans can beat you up, and then Andrew Karnage can stretch you out.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage trying to squeeze off all of Stan's air, but Wilson uses those long arms to reach out and grab the rope. Karnage pulls him up by the hair and irish whips him facefirst into the steel cage!
Phil Blauer: Stan getting a little more color now.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage follows him in with The Nightmare Lariot but is met with a big boot to his face!
(Andrew Karnage staggers around so Stan "The Tank" Wilson presses him over his head. He drops Karnage on his shoulder and pitches him forward into a powerslam! The fans cheer and chant "STAN!! STAN!! STAN!! STAN!! STAN!!")
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Andrew Karnage kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan pulls Karnage up by his long mane of hair and irish whips him into the ropes, but Karnage comes back with a yakuza kick! That knocks Stan back a few steps, and Karnage applies a half nelson hammerlock.
(Karnage tries to tiger suplex Stan but he's too heavy. After a few strained tries, he relents and Wilson irish whips him into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson tiltawhirls him over into a powerslam!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage kicks out)
(Stan Wilson tags in Bruno and the crowd comes alive. Bruno steps over the ropes with fire in his eyes. Bruno & Stan both scoop Karnage up on their mutual shoulder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Black Experience hits Andrew Karnage with a double michunoku driver!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno bounces in the ropes, and then drops a big leg across his neck.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno irish whips Andrew Karnage into the ropes, then goes for a spinebuster but Karnage reverses it into a tornado DDT! Andrew Karnage grabs Bruno and turns him over into a single leg boston crab.
(Andrew Karnage pulls back on Bruno's leg, stepping on his face with one leg. Bruno cries out in pain, and Ron Reid checks in to see if he wants to tap out. Casey Sanchez and Stan try and get the crowd into it, clapping faster & faster)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage release Bruno's leg and applies an abdominal stretch. He grabs his arm and turns it into a giant octopus.
Phil Blauer: Andrew Karnage a little out of sorts here, as Bruno is one of the few people in Hardkore World he can't throw around. He's gotta use his submission holds to his advantage here.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage using all that "natural" strength to cause as much pain as he can with the octopus stretch here. Karnage and Bruno have wrestled before, in Denver, Colorado at The Pepsi Center where Andrew Karnage stopped Bruno cold with that Nightmare Lariot...Bruno hiptosses Karnage over!
(The audience cheers, and Bruno irish whips Karnage into the ropes. He catches him on the way back with a powerslam)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage rolls out of the way of a big elbow from Bruno. He irish whips Bruno into his corner. Kilroy Evans chokes him with the tag rope, while Andrew Karnage batters him with stiff forearms!
(The crowd starts to boo Karnage & Kilroy a little, Bruno drops down against the bottom turnbuckle. Andrew Karnage then kicks him with a few facewash bootscrapes. Karnage tags Kilroy Evans in)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans climbs to the top turnbuckle, and Andrew Karnage superplexes his partner onto Bruno's stomach!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Bruno kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage & Kilroy Evans set Bruno upside down in the corner into a tree of woe, while Ron Reid holds a bloody Stan Wilson back. Kilroy Evans goes over to the other corner and runs in with a spear to Bruno's exposed stomach!
(Kilroy Evans pulls Bruno up and locks him in a tight bearhug. Bruno, who's taken some hard shots to his stomach is finding it hard to catch his breath)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans walks back and drops his face into the steel cage!! Kilroy grabs the stunned Bruno in a double underhook, but Bruno reverses it into an unprettier!
(The fans cheer and a bleeding Bruno tries to feed off their love. He gets to his feet and shoots Kilroy into the ropes. He catches Evans and drills him into the mat with a sidewalk slam)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Black Experience now on the comeback trail...
Phil Blauer: So any cars on Comeback Trail should be locked.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno going to tag out, but Kilroy grabs him by his boot and trips him to the mat. He sticks two fingers in Bruno's eyes, and his thumb in his mouth and drags Bruno back to his corner, while tearing at the laceration over his eye. He tags in Karnage again, and irish whips Bruno into the ropes. The Miracle Violence Combination II drive Bruno into the mat with a double rock bottom they call the East Side Slam!!
(The Miracle Violence Combination II bump fists, then shake hands then switch to an arm wrestler grip and pretend to sword fight and then drop a double elbow onto Bruno's chest)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Pretty Fly Handshake O' Doom!
Phil Blauer: And they say our people have no rythmn...
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Bruno kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a gran hamada headbutt to Bruno's temple!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Bruno gets his shoulder up)
(Karnage gets to his feet an flexes his muscles at Stan Wilson. Wilson steps over the ropes to get at Karnage, but Ron Reid cuts him off again)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Miracle Violence Combination II looking to do some more double teaming on Bruno which seems to be their strategy to defeat the larger men. But Karnage turns around into a spear by Bruno!
(Fans cheer, and Kilroy Evans enters the ring to try and stop Bruno from tagging out. Bruno catches him and shoots him into the ropes and tiltawhirl slams him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno turns around to tag in Wilson, but Andrew Karnage cuts him off with The Pain Killer EX crippler crossface!
Phil Blauer: So close, yet so far.
(Karnage locks a hammerlock on the arm that isn’t scissored holding it with his elbow while he reaches up to apply the chinlock. Blood runs down Bruno's face, down Karnage's arm that's still bloody from the STF he put on Stan. Casey Sanchez continues to applaud and the fans root Bruno on)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage pulls up on Bruno's head & arms, as the six man champion tries to hold on. Bruno rolls him over into a cradle!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno irish whips Karnage into the ropes and pops him in the face with a big boot! He tags in Big Stan!!
(The roof blows off The Cox Arena as a bloody enraged giant steps over the ropes and points at Andrew Karnage. He irish whips Karnage into the ropes and back body drops him over his shoulder into Bruno who catches him and piledrives Karnage!!! The fans chant "BX!!! BX!!! BX!!! BX!!! BX!!!" as Stan lays one hand on Karnage's throat for a pin)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage kicks out)
(Stan has the devil in his eye as he shoots AK-47 into the ropes again, and catches him on the way back with a black hole slam)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Tank Slam!! He drops a knee across Karnage's face and makes the cover.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Every fan in The Cox Arena is on their feet right now, as Stan belly to back suplexes Karnage, but Karnage flips behind them and runs his face into the steel cage!! Again! He waistlocks him and pitches him facefirst into the cage a third time!
(Karnage steps over Stan Wilson and applies a cobra clutch into a camel cutch. He sits on Wilson's ample back and pulls back on his head & arm. Ron Reid checks in and Wilson cries out "No!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage attempting to get a tap out from The Sphinx Clutch he has on Big Stan. Casey Sanchez very vocal on the outside, pumping the crowd up. Karnage gives one final long pull back, and Stan Wilson can take no more and clubs Karnage in the back of the head with a clothesline.
(Bruno gets to his feet and scoops Karnage up and slings him over his shoulder. He drops to his knees with a tombstone piledriver! He reaches out and tags in Stan, and they both climb to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Black Experience on the top, Bruno comes off with a big splash, then rolls away and Stan leg drops Karnage off the top turnbuckle!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans stomps the back of Stan's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy saves the belts for his team right there! Stan fireman's carries him up on his shoulders and then drops him into an implant DDT!! The Tank Drop!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Andrew Karnage kicks out)
(Audience groans at the close fall, and Stan pulls Karnage up by his hair. Karnage blows a black fog in Stan's eyes. The crowd full on boos Karnage now, as Stan staggers around, blinded)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage irish whips a blinded and bloody Stan into the ropes and...NIGHTMARE LARIOT!!! The force of it knocks The Tank out!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Bruno stomps the back of Karnage's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The horribly bloody Bruno returns the favor to Kilroy Evans! Andrew Karnage picks the 325 pound giant up and backdrop drives his head into the canvas!
(Karnage tags in Kilroy Evans, and irish whips Wilson into the ropes. The Miracle Violence Combination II double superkicks Stan Wilson! Wilson goes down like a redwood. Kilroy grabs him by the legs and turns him over into a boston crab)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans sits back on those trunk like legs as Wilson bleeds a large pool underneath his face. Andrew Karnage enters the ring and leg drops the back of Stan's head.
(Ron Reid shoos Karnage out of the ring, as Kilroy Evans pulls Stan to his feet. He jumps and spinning roundhouse kicks Stan in the stomach. Wilson backpeddles into the ropes and falls into the ropes. He slips down and his arms become entangled in the top and second rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans backs up and rushes in with a spear, but Bruno lifts the ropes allowing Stan to escape...Evans head crashes into the steel cage!! Stan lifts Kilroy up over his head and slams him headfirst with an alabama slammer!
(Stan pulls Kilroy's head into his legs and lifts him up on his shoulder. He flips him forward and falls with him into a dominator spinebuster!! Kilroy's bloody face bounces off the canvas and leaves a mark, Stan rolls him over and covers him)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan irish whips Evans into the ropes and sidewalks him up and drops him across his knee with a backbreaker!!
(Stan tags in Bruno, and the audience comes alive with cheers. Bruno gets underneath Evans' legs and lifts him up into an electric chair. Stan climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan clotheslines Kilroy off of Bruno's shoulders!! Kilroy landed on his head there! Bruno picks him up and Brunobombs him into the mat!! He cradles Kilroy's legs!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno irish whips Kilroy into the ropes but the Attbury Assassin comes back with a roundhouse kick to Bruno's chest!
(Kilroy salutes Casey Sanchez and then applies a cobra clutch on Bruno. He jumps up on Bruno's back, piggyback style and squeezes back on his arm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy forces Bruno down to one knee with that cobra clutch he uses to honor Sgt.Slaughter.
Phil Blauer: Why doesn't he just lose all his hair and sweat all over people?
Guillermo O'Bannon: He's workin on it. The audience clapping, trying to root Bruno on, and it works. He gets back up to his feet, with Kilroy stuck on his back. Bruno backs into the corner and squashes Evans! He lifts Kilroy up into a hanging suplex...
Phil Blauer: Bruno is so powerful he's lifting a 250 pounder up like he's me. Speaking of which, I can't find my wallet. I think Bruno may have lifted that too...
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno swings him forward into a uranage that he calls The Bruno Driver!!! He covers Kilroy Evans!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Andrew Karnage kneedrops the back of Bruno)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed; 10 Minutes Remaining."
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Stan has had about enough of the AK-47 and steps over the top rope. Ron Reid tries to stop him but Big Stan shoves him out of the way and into the cage! He grabs Andrew Karnage and presses him over his head. He drops him in a spinebuster!!
(Stan irish whips Kilroy Evans into the ropes, where upon returning, he lifts him high into the air with a release flapjack, followed by Bruno catching them and delivering a hard powerslam!! The crowd cheers, chanting "BX!!! BX!!! BX!!! BX!!! BX!!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Minority Rule!!! Bruno covers Kilroy, but there's no referee to count it! The audience booing, and that's starting to wake Reid up!
Phil Blauer: I would blame the bump Stan gave him, but I think it was probably the fifth of cheap scotch he had for lunch.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage comes up from behind Stan and crossface chicken wings him. He walks the giant over to the cage and bashes his head into the cage over & over, unprotected! Kilroy Evans staggers up and hits The Bad Touch diamond cutter on The Tank!!
(Bruno grabs Karnage from behind and german suplexes him. Again there's no referee to count it)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans walks over and stomps Bruno in his stomach while he bridges that german suplex. Karnage runs into the ropes and hits Bruno with a Nightmare Lariat as Kilroy clips out his knee with a running shoulderblock from behind!! Three Car Pile-up!! Kilroy Evans makes the pin!
Referee Ron Reid: (groggily) 1..........2..........3!!!
(The audience gives a mixed reaction, but mostly boos as "Spiderbait" by Black Betty plays through The Cox Arena. Kilroy Evans and Andrew Karnage exit the cage and grab their tag team title belts on the way out from Ron De La O)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 22 minutes 57 seconds; THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH; AND STILL HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...THE MIRACLE VIOLENCE COMBINATION II!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Miracle Violence Combination II make quick work of any tag team put in front of them, but not tonight. The Black Experience gave them their stiffest challenge yet, and should have won the belts tonight.
Phil Blauer: I'm not kidding, I can't find my wallet. I have half a mind to make Boone go in there and get it back from that Bruno character. Oh wait...here it is. Wait a minute, where are my keys?
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Jun 04, 2005#28
Guillermo O'Bannon: And now it's time for the big main event. Death Gojira was horribly burned in his second round match with Big Bad Bill in Albuquerque, New Mexico. So one even wonders if he'll even be up for this match.
Phil Blauer: Or me, I'm pooped. See?
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's disgusting, Phil. Cobryn's been busy himself, hostilly acquiring Cyrus' personal ring announcer.
Phil Blauer: But a ring announcer isn't gonna help him a whole lot with Gojira able to use the entire Cox Arena at his disposal.
Guillermo O'Bannon: True. Cobryn has wrestled all the current greats. Big Stan, Robert Hunglestien III, Cyrus Williams, Rally Jackson, Kilroy Evans, Paul Soutter, Andrew Karnage, and Big Bad Bill. But he has never wrestled someone with the blood thirst of Death Gojira.
Phil Blauer: No one has. Except for Death Gojira's opponents.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Do you wait to see if your comments are gonna make sense before you blurt them out?
Phil Blauer: No time for love, Dr. Jones...
(The lights in the Cox Arena begin to flicker as thunderous footsteps are heard echoing from the PA system. Fans rise to their feet and begin to cheer loudly as suddenly the lights go off and Godzilla's roar booms across the arena, causing several sparks to go off from the ceiling. "Godzilla's Theme" by Akira Ifukube begins to play as a giant pyro in the shape of a mushroom cloud explodes near the entrance ramp. When the smoke clears, Death Gojira appears, letting loose an defiant SKREEOOOORNGHK! with his barbed wire wrapped wooden chair in his hands)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Burned and forever scarred, Gojira now covers his shame with tightly wrapped bandages around his face, chest and arms. The only place we do get to see a part of Gojira is his eyes, which are now maroon, serpentine, and terrifying!
Phil Blauer: It's ok, Blau-Dog's here.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ok, Phil. Death Gojira once ruled the roost here with Hardkore World's feud of the year with Kilroy Evans. Now he's got another shot, this time against one of the greatest wrestler to ever lace up the boots, Cobryn.
Phil Blauer: Arguably.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Who else would you put up there?
Phil Blauer: I miss Ned.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I know you do, Phil. I notice The Amazing Taylor isn't accompanying him to the ring anymore.
Phil Blauer: I believe he's joined the Just Joes & Shockmasters of this world.
Yolanda Ando: Aside from his wrappings, Gojira wears a Haori Japanese Vest over his chest with long black shorts and boots. On the back of his Haori is the symbol for Godzilla, with the Japanese characters for "Hageshiimaru" encircling it.
Phil Blauer: Which is French, for "corn rows".
Guillermo O'Bannon: It's his name.
(As Death Gojira steps into the ring, he lets out a mighty 'REEEOORRRNGHK!' to the fans)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Ladies and Gentleman, the following Falls Count Anywhere Match is the Main Event of the Evening. Featuring first, from Monster Island, Japan; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds; He is The Undisputed King of All Monsters...DEATH GOJIRA!!!"
(The crowd roars and chants "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!" when suddenly the lights drop. The eerie opening chords of "No Quarter" begin ringing out and what seems like everyone in the building stands up. Intelligent lights begin scanning the arena… with a different tempo and sequence as the drums kick in as people begin stomping their feet in the dark. Suddenly pyrotechnics light the arena up with white, purple and red explosions above the ring and ramp area. A spot light hits Cobryn who’s standing on the ramp with a big smile on his face… Mannetti being drug headfirst behind him by Harley. The lights start coming back up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: There's Johnny Lee Harley dragging Paul Mannetti, Cyrus' ex-ring announcer and Cobryn's latest prize. Last time Cobryn was in this building, he defeated Adrian Tanner Jr. and Vincent Silvestri in a threeway dance for the first shot at the Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion. Cyrus Williams and Big Bad Bill better remember that.
(Cobryn cracks his neck and begins his march to the ring to a loud chorus of boos. One section of the crowd does the 'worship' motion while Cobryn walks down the aisle. Cobryn’s black robe drapes behind him as he approaches the ring, and wipes his feet on the apron before sliding through the ropes. He hands Mannetti an index card and commands him to read it)
Paul Mannetti, bloody and beaten: "Hailing from Key Largo, Standing in at 6’4 and weighing in at 250 pounds… He entered the UWA and began a 10 match winning streak… joining the Society of The New Breed and winning a match defeating the entire Toho Group and Brian Nixon. Thats Five men singlehandedly.... FIVE MEN! He went on to win the UK Championship… unified it with the Internet championship to become the first singles double champion in the UWA… and eventually went on to win the UWA World Championship from Tripps… ending his reign of backstage politicing and banishing him from the UWA. Cobryn is a former UWA Internet Champion, UWA UK Champion, ICW Internet Champion, A Double Champion on 3 different occasions including unifying the UK and Internet titles... and making the UK title a sanctioned title. The former UWA UK and UWA Internet ….UWA Internet and ICW Internet… UWA World and UWA Internet And the first man to hold an ICW and UWA title concurrently. He is the most decorated wrestler in the history of the UWA, and the former UWA Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOOOOORRRRRLLLLD....
[Paul Mannetti takes a large breath]
He then graced both AW, IPW and the IWA with his presence, and remained undefeated after defeating the likes of James Ashcroft, Big Stan Wilson, killing Kobra... literally, Defeating Haven and Hero in a handicap match, as well as Kilmer and Ashcroft in yet another handicap match... not to mention Haven and The Messiah in the famed and unforgettable Handicapped "I Quit" match.
Coming off the greatest tournament of his career, Cobryn defeated not only Paul Soutter, but Lucifer Jones, Rally Jackson and Kilroy Evans to claim the AW World Heavyweight Championship. This followed by a repeat performance at the Tournament of the Elite Two, where no other wrestlers would even show up for the event once Cobryn was announced to be defending his title.
[Another breath.]
Paul Mannetti: This was followed by winning the Las Vegas Wrestling's only title, in which he demolished Rally Jackson for a second time in two attempts.
But this is not all... Oh No...
Mannetti grumbles, but continues: Cobryn would then go on to win the Ring Syndicate World Heavyweight Championship despite the HPWA region's bitchy cries and protests, and after again demolishing Rally Jackson along with every other opponent he faced including the commissioner of HPWA himself T.H. Power, retired the belt the only worthwhile Champion of the gigantic promotion.
[One more breath.]
Paul Mannetti: Finally, Cobryn set his sights on the highest stage of them all. Cobryn found the will to defeat a plethora of Hardkore World's finest singlehandedly, including his fourth win against the nefarious Rally Jackson to become the first modern era West Coast Champion.
But still this is not all, Oh... No.... Cobryn would then go on against all odds to obtain a title of dreams. The Hardkore American title, a title so prestigious not even Big Stan holding it could bring it down to mediocrity. Cobryn took this title against his long time Nemesis Hunglow2Feelgood2343 in dominant fashion. He then took the title and defeated both Andrew Karnage and Kilroy Evans in dramatic and heroic finishes to completely bring back the luster of one of the biggest titles in the history of wrestling....
[Four rows of the crowd are seen sleeping.]
Paul Mannetti: Without further ado... He is superior to Cyrus Williams in every way, had the longest entrance before Cyrus even had a theme song, and has chased Cyrus Williams from both the IWA and Hardkore World...
He is... the Greatest wrestler of the modern era and without a doubt a lot cooler than Cyrus. Cyrus has body odor and Athletes foot. With a proffessional record of 110 wins against 9 disputed and nefarious losses... Your Hardkore World American Champion....
COBRYN!!!
Phil Blauer: He done yet?
Guillermo O'Bannon: (throws down his card) Uno!!
Phil Blauer: Damn!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira pokes Cobryn in the eye and scoops him up onto his shoulder...he drops him into a reverse bulldog!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Cobryn kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira lifts Cobryn up on his shoulders and swings him around into an F5!!
(Death Gojira stomps around the ring "Reee-ornk"-ing. Cobryn comes up from behind him and hits him with a low blow. The San Diego crowd boos him, and Cobryn lifts him up into a suplex and then drops his feet on the top rope. He drops him backward into a slingshot suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Tsunami Effect! Cobryn rolls over on top of him into a pin.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Death Gojira kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn rolls over top of Gojira with a chiropracter crunch. Cobryn sets him up for a leg capture suplex, but Gojira brings his knee up into Cobryn's groin! Death Gojira goes behind him with a chicken wing crossface.
(Gojira ties up their legs, and pitches him forward facefirst into the mat. Death Gojira lifts him up into a hanging suplex, and swings him around into an ace crusher!! The crowd cheers, and Cobryn rolls around covering his mouth)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira twists his arm and bends it behind Cobryn's back. He inverted facelocks him and reverse DDTs him on his chicken winged arm! He hooks the leg.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Cobryn kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira goes to kick him, but Cobryn catches his foot and shortleg clotheslines him. Cobryn half nelson hammerlocks him and drops him backwards into a tigerplex!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Death Gojira gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn pulls Gojira up and swings him around into a rude awakening! He picks him up in a full nelson, but Gojira powers out of it.
Phil Blauer: Send him over to Raw and maybe we can put an end to the Chris Masters segments.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira kicks him in the guts and lifts him up on his shoulder with an argentinean backbreaker! He racks the champion's spinal column along his shoulder, as Ron Reid checks in to see if he taps out. He then drops him in a hangman's neckbreaker!
(Gojira pulls his Goji Chair into the ring and douses it with lighter fluid. He sets it on fire, and then atomic drops Cobryn on the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira t-bone superplexes Cobryn!! He hangs on to him and full nelson drives his ass into the burning chair!!
Phil Blauer: Cobryn's prized asshole! It's his namesake!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira lifts him in a brainbuster drop. He drops down in a sitting position, dropping Cobryn's weight down onto a shoulder breaker. Gojira's been vaguely focusing on Cobryn's shoulder lately, and he sits on his back. He straightjackets his arms and pulls him back into a crossarm camel clutch!
(Gojira plants his feet and pulls back on Cobryn's hands. The referee checks in but Cobryn shouts out refusals. Gojira answers with "Quit, baka!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira lets go of his hands and stomps the back of his head. Cobryn crawls out of the ring and says he's done with this match. Gojira follows him out there and rams his face into the apron.
(Cobryn drops to his knees and begs for mercy. Gojira gets a sadistic smile across his face as the fans chant "Fuck em up Goji, Fuck em up *clap-clap* Fuck em up Goji, Fuck em up *clap-clap* Fuck em up Goji, Fuck em up *clap-clap* Fuck em up Goji, Fuck em up *clap-clap* Fuck em up Goji, Fuck em up *clap-clap*)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn hits DG low again and pulls him by his black shorts and pulls him shoulderfirst into the corner post! He grabs the timekeeper's bell off of the table and bashes him in the face!!
(The Cox Arena boos and jeers as Gojira drops to the floor, blood coming from the top of his head. Cobryn drops an elbow across his forehead)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn drops another pointed elbow smash to his face. He picks Gojira up and bounces his face off the railing! Again! He grabs one of our TV cables and chokes Gojira with it.
Phil Blauer: Hey Gui--....ever...noti...ton...and find...tha-...homo... Dom Deluise?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Thankfully, Cobryn using Phil's mic cable. He braces the cable and pulls up on it, with his knee against Gojira's head. Cobryn goes for a suplex, but Gojira blocks it and reverses it into a fisherman's suplex on the concrete!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn kicks out)
(Death Gojira grabs a metal trash can and knocks it over. Gojira double underhooks him up into a tigerdriver spiked onto the trash can!! The crowd roars and chants "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira scoops Cobryn up and then hits a snow plow on The Cox Arena floor!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Paul Manetti breaks away from Johnny Lee Harley by grabbing Death Gojira's Goji Chair! He wards him away and then comes at Cobryn, Gojira catches him by the head though and tornado DDTs his head into Cobryn's stomach with the chair hitting him in the face!!
(The fans continue to chant "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!" Gojira double underhooks his arms, but Cobryn blocks it and back body drops him on the floor)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn batters Gojira up the aisleway with closed fists, he fishes into his trunks and pulls out a pair of his trusty brass knuckles. He slugs Gojira in the face with the knucks! He bloodies him even worse with the metal on his hand.
(Cobryn tosses Gojira over the railing, into the audience. He steps over the railing, and grabs a twelve year old kid with glasses wearing a "BIIIack EXperience" t-shirt. He tosses him facefirst into Gojira's face, breaking the glasses and cutting Goji some more)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn goes for a piledriver, but Gojira blocks it, and backdrops him over into a belly to back sitdown piledriver in the 15th row!! He covers him as Ron Reid wades through the fans to make the count.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn kicks out)
(Gojira pulls Cobryn over the railing back into the aisleway and then grabs hold of his hair. He leads him up the ramp and into the gorilla position. He rams Cobryn's head into the wall so hard, the janitor's closet opens up next to him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira goes through the closet and pulls out a dirty mop and begins smothering it over Cobryn's face!
Death Gojira: "Time to clean up this puke stain!"
Phil Blauer: There's Tuxedo Mask. Whatever happened to him? He lost all the weight and no one cared. Like Carnie Wilson.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tux hands Gojira a strand of barbed wire, and he wraps it around Cobryn's neck. He pulls back on the strip while placing one foot on the back of Cobryn's head, shoving his face into the dirty water inside the mop bucket!!
Phil Blauer: Wow, that's almost as disgusting as being in the same car with Ron Reid.
(Cobryn grabs the metal bucket and blasts Gojira in the face with it! Blood continues to run from his cut, over his eye and one under his chin from the glasses)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn hammerlocks Gojira's arm behind him and then belly to belly suplexes him onto his chicken winged arm on the backstage floor!!
(Gojira howls in pain, clutching his arm. Cobryn crouches over top of him and bludgeons him with short punches. He pulls a bloody monster up and butterflies his arms. He double underhooks him up into a stalling tigerdriver '91)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tsunami '05 on the floor near the back entrance!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Death Gojira gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn tosses Gojira headfirst through the back entrance doors.
Phil Blauer: Ew, he got blood all over the handles...I gotta use those!
(Death Gojira staggers around The Cox Arena parking lot in the humid sea air. Cobryn comes up from behind Gojira and applies an inverted facelock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn going for The Answer...but Gojira slips out of his grasp and rams Cobryn's head into the entrance doors! He puts Cobryn's head through the door and closes it on his neck!! Again!!
(Cobryn crawls away, on his trembling hands and knees. Death Gojira stalks behind him and then throws Cobryn head first into the window of a car, shattering it!! You can hear the roar of the fans inside The Cox Arena as they view it on the video screen)
Guillermo O'Bannon: As Cobryn pulls out of the window, Death Gojira hits him with a sweeping double underhook DDT into broken glass on the asphalt!! He rolls him over and pins him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Cobryn kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: With Cobryn weary, Gojira throws Cobryn into the trunk of a Yolanda's volkswagen Jetta.
Yolanda Ando: Isn't it cute? It's got little fuzzy seat covers, and a fuzzy steering wheel cover with leopard prints...
Guillermo O'Bannon: Don't jusy floozies like leopard print?
Yolanda Ando: No, I love em. And the horn beeps the tune of Thompson Twins' "Hold Me Now"...
(Death Gojira gets into the driver's side and finds the keys in the ignition)
Yolanda Ando: Hey!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Why do you keep the keys in the ignition??
Yolanda Ando: In case Phil's after me and I have to get a quick getaway.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hmm, me too.
(Death Gojira starts up the jetta and proceeds to slam the rear of the car several times into a wall, until the trunk is crumpled up)
Yolanda Ando: (with each crash) Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Death Gojira finally stops the carnage and opens up the trunk. He pulls Cobryn out and covers him on the street.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Cobryn gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Hageshiimaru pulls him up on to the top of Yolanda’s Jetta...
Yolanda Ando: (runs out to the parking lot) Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Gojira climbs on top of the hood and pulls Cobryn’s head into his legs. He pulls him up into Sniff the Borax but Cobryn rolls forward onto his feet. He kicks Gojira in the stomach and double underhook facebusters him into the windshield!! He holds onto his arms and gives him a michinoku driver I on the hood!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Death Gojira kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cobryn wobbles up to his feet and pulls Gojira’s head into his legs. He pulls him up and ligerbombs Gojira through the canvas roof of her Jetta!!
(Cobryn opens up the backdoor and pulls Gojira out of Yolanda’s car. He pulls Gojira over to the entrance doors. He hooks him up and flips him headfirst through the backstage door with an exploder! The camera crew inside the Cox Arena are ready and waiting and pick up the action from there)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cobryn takes one of the camera crews TV cables and sits down on Goji’s back. He wraps it around Gojira’s neck, pulling back with a Cobryn Clutch!
(Gojira kicks and stomps his feet into the floor, struggling for air. Meanwhile, the entire locker room has gathered round to watch)
Phil Blauer: This Hardkore America title match has attracted some lookyloos. Guys with nothing better to do than to watch a couple guys try and maim one another backstage. Like the time Bill Kasal accused me of stealing his frozen dinner.
Guillermo O’Bannon: That was vicious, I thought he was gonna kill you. He wouldn’t stop, even when you wet your pants.
Phil Blauer: Yeah, usually that works to at least get them to stop touching me.
(The wrestlers begin hooting & hollering, mostly in support of Death Gojira. Ron Reid sees if Gojira wants to quit as blood flows down his face)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cobryn pulls Gojira up but the King of the Monsters blocks a hiptoss and counters with a crucifix. He rolls him over his back into a Monster Strikes Back piledriver on the concrete!! He covers the champion!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Cobryn gets his shoulder up)
(Makoto Jupiter drags the craft services table over towards them. Tuxedo Mask chases after it, saying “Hey! I was eating that!” Makoto whispers in Tux’s ear and he nods his head. Tux pours some lighter fluid on the table and lights it up! He sees the burning doughnuts and cries “Oh, the humanity!”)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Death Gojira lifts Cobryn up onto his shoulder and spinning powerbombs him through the burning table!!!
(Death Gojira lets out a “Ree-ornk” and then covers Cobryn)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Death Gojira gets clubbed in the back of the head with a steel chair)
(The camera pulls out to reveal it’s Kilroy Evans)
Guillermo O’Bannon: It’s Kilroy Evans! And Andrew Karnage! What are the Hardkore World Tag Team Champions doing here??
Phil Blauer: What we’re all doing here. Padding out our camera time.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Death Gojira staggers up to his feet, no-selling the chair shot!! Gojira glares at Kilroy through those bandages and Kilroy looks a little scared. Gojira now working over Kilroy! Meanwhile, Karnage locks in a sleeper on Cobryn!
(As Gojira pulls out his lighter and flask, Kilroy removes his belt and gets it around Gojira's neck. Karnage releases the sleeper, and backs up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Andrew Karnage immediately delivers a Nightmare Lariot to the back of Cobryn’s head!!
(Kilroy begins strangling Gojira, screaming "We were just after him, you stupid bastard!" Karnage goes to help Kilroy just as the Cupcake Crew goes to intervene)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Andrew Karnage delivers another Nightmare Lariot to Tuxedo Mask!! That laid him out on the concrete, but Kilroy isn’t so lucky. Eerie Von grabs Kilroy by the throat and chokeslams him on the cement!!
(Andrew Karnage grabs a peice of the broken table, and bashes Eerie Von in the head with it! He lifts Eerie Von up and drops him with the Karnage Crush Bomb on the backstage floor)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Andrew Karnage takes Eerie Von out with the KCB on the concrete. Kilroy Evans is back to his feet and waistlocks Death Gojira. Andrew Karnage backs up and Nightmare Lariots Gojira into a Shotgun Suplex from Kilroy Evans on the floor!!
(Kilroy says "I feel much better now, how 'bout you?" to Karnage, who nods and smiles as he helps him make their escape. Ron Reid sees neither man is stirring and starts a count)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...
Referee Ron Reid: 2...
Guillermo O’Bannon: Both Cobryn and Death Gojira have been motionless since that heinous attack by The Miracle Violence Combination II! Now Ron Reid counting both men out, and we could have a draw!
Referee Ron Reid: 3...
Referee Ron Reid: 4...
(The surrounding wrestlers, like Dan Stein, Lonewolf McNeely, Jeremiah Vastrix, Vagabond, and Tony Thunder are rooting Death Gojira on to get to his feet)
Referee Ron Reid: 5...
Referee Ron Reid: 6...
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cobryn starting to stir, clutching his neck as he tries to get to his feet.
Referee Ron Reid: 7...
Referee Ron Reid: 8...
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cobryn getting to his feet, but Ron Reid is checking on Death Gojira. Cyrus Williams comes out of nowhere and hits The Blackout on the backstage floor!!! Ron Reid didn’t see it!
Phil Blauer: It’s like soap to him...
Referee Ron Reid: 9...
Referee Ron Reid: 10!!!
Guillermo O’Bannon: That’s it, Ron Reid has counted both men out!
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “At 17 minutes 23 seconds; THE REFEREE HAS COUNTED BOTH MEN OUT...THE RESULT IS A DRAW!”
(The fans inside the Cox Arena can be heard booing the non-decision, chanting “Bull-shit!! Bull-shit!! Bull-shit!! Bull-shit!! Bull-shit!!” Cyrus Williams points at Cobryn and then disappears into the crowd. Medics go to both Death Gojira and Cobryn’s side)
Guillermo O’Bannon: With The Cupcake Crew, The Miracle Violence Combination II, Cyrus Williams, and that kid with the glasses; too many extra parties were involved in this one. You can bet your ass Jonnie knows of a way to remedy that. Well, that’s all for now from San Diego fans. But we won’t be far. Just a couple hours up Interstate 215, in Palm Springs. Back at Hardkore Hall!
Guillermo O'Bannon: ...
Phil Blauer: Uh, Guillermo?
Guillermo O'Bannon: (smiles and sighs)
Phil Blauer: Uh, hello? (waves his hand up & down in front of Guillermo's stupid smiling gaze) Guillermo!! Uh...hello, fans...uh, here we are in San Dimas. There are a lot of matches here tonight, like the one with the Godzilla guy and Cyrus. Then there's...I don't know probably a chick fight...Guillermo???
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hmm? Oh hey, Phil. Hey everybody.
Phil Blauer: There you are. Once again I had to cover for your ass.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sorry about that, I'm in love.
Phil Blauer: That's nice to hear and a-Woah. Hold back. Blau-Dog don't swing that way unless circumstances in my cell dictate it. Plus you have to make an appointment.
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, with this wonderful woman I met on the beach.
Phil Blauer: You mean the internet?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, beach, when we were out the other day. We found a nice, quiet room to chat in.
Phil Blauer: A chat room, if you will. Is that where you went? I had the new metal detector kicking. I got 7 quarters, a lighter, and the bloody knife from the OJ trial. You left all that to go talk to a chick? {Mongo Edit: Fuck Off}.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Her name is Veronica. Her name still sounds like a song when it passes through my lips. She's beautiful, really into the environment, and makes my heart feel like it's about to fall out of my chest everytime she looks at me.
Phil Blauer: Is she your tender roni?
Guillermo O'Bannon: AND my around the way girl!
Phil Blauer: (holds up lighter) A lighter, dude! I didn't have to pay for it!
(Phil flicks his Bic trying to get it to light.)
Guillermo O'Bannon: I know, Phil. At any rate, I'm happier than the day Friends went off the air. And so will many of you before this night is through. We have a match between two icons of different regions, meeting in a battle for the Hardkore America Championship that could end anywhere in San Diego. Cobryn, started in the UWA, where he dominated, uncontested. Death Gojira started in Hardkore Nippon, also uncontested. Both have had unbridled success. Cobryn in UWA, IWA, Ring Syndicate, and Ascendant Wrestling. Gojira stayed Hardkore, winning the Hardkore World Championship, Hardkore America Championship, and the Hardkore Nippon Junior Heavyweight Championship. Now they wrestle for the American Championship to see who is the best here in Hardkore World right now.
Phil Blauer: I can't believe you sometimes. You left me on that beach! I threw that frisbee to myself for an hour until that damn dog took off with it. I'm still lookin for that mutt. I think he took my wallet too.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then it's back to the cage for the Miracle Violence Combination II as they defend their titles for the first time against The Black Experience. Every man will have a title belt in this one, with BX being two thirds of the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Champions. But the two largest men in Hardkore look to become double champs.
Phil Blauer: Have The Miracle Violence Combination II ever been in the ring with two seven footers before?
Guillermo O'Bannon: I don't think so.
Phil Blauer: Have I?
Guillermo O'Bannon: I think that's even less likely.
Phil Blauer: Good. I think we've given the fans all they care about in this match.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then Horror Girl makes her return to the ring since two months ago at Palm Springs Punishment when she defeated three time champion "Sexy" Anjanette Turner. They were tied together with a chain and closed in a steel cage. Horror Girl came out the victor in that one, but now two months later Ayame Tokugawa is the Hardkore World Champion and she has a shot against her. Tokugawa has dispatched Xyrynth and Brandi in road to the title, but never has she wrestled someone as violent as Horror Girl.
Phil Blauer: Horror Girl should be well rested...I almost said fresh, but that wouldn't be true.
Guillermo O'Bannon: In Palm Springs, Tony Thunder and The Shootfighter hooked up, with The Shootfighter mercilessly working down his knee until he forced him to tap out. In Albuquerque, The Shootfighter & Tony Thunder went up on 25 feet in the air on a scaffold, both came down. Now, tonight, they fight the rubber match for the Hardkore West Coast title.
Phil Blauer: Tony Thunder has the six man tag team title slung over one shoulder. Can he be the first to have the West Coast slung over the other?
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter just did that.
Phil Blauer: I liked you alot better when you were staring at nothing.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then it's the semi-finals for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament Cyrus Williams & Syberus as well as Lucifer Jones & Big Bad Bill. One of these four men are set to lead Hardkore World as it goes global.
Phil Blauer: Cyrus Williams trying to be the first wrestler in Hardkore World's 16 year history to become a three time Hardkore World Champion in consecutive wins. I'm attempting to become the first announcer to fit 16 kielbasa sausages in my mouth, shattering Mike Tenay's record of 14 and Heenan's penis.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shouldn't Heenan's dick be counted as only half a sausage?
Phil Blauer: I wouldn't know.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Of course you do, he shows it to everyone. Syberus also looking to make some history, becoming only the second man to hold the Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Championship & Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship at the same time, since Ace Kilcannon did it in 2000. He's also looking to be the third English wrestler to hold that title, with Matthew X and Blayze Bailey coming before him.
Phil Blauer: What about "Irish" Mike Powers?
Guillermo O'Bannon: He was from upstate New York.
Phil Blauer: Yeah, but that's like a suburb of England.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then we have the other half of that semi-final, former Hardkore West Coast Champion Big Bad Bill against Lucifer Jones.
Phil Blauer: Lucifer Jones was very busy in Albuquerque, appearing in three matches that night, which is more than HHH does in a half hour of Raw.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones has got to keep his eyes on the prize if he hopes to win this match, not worry about "The Punisher" Dan Stein or this new person running around in his old mask.
Phil Blauer: Don't worry about the roid case or the guy looking to beat his brains in that could be anyone in the locker room? Check.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then we get to see Brandi and Vagabond go at it in a tables, ladders, and chairs match. Brandi and Tammy Sanchez attacked Vagabond before their match with her and "Sexy" Anjanette Turner in Seattle, leaving her a bloody mess in the aisleway and Anj fighting a handicap match. Brandi then proceeded to put Turner and Sanchez out of wrestling. Tamara Sanchez was scheduled to return tonight, but her leg is still far from healed and she could not get medical clearance to wrestle here tonight. But Vagabond can, and is looking to get some revenge for the beating Brandi gave her in her debut match.
Phil Blauer: All that, and Tarrasque taking on Lonewolf McNeely and we have a hell of a card here tonight!
(“Glory” by Peter McEvilley plays and the audience cheers. Devon Stevens walks out slapping the fans' hands)
Guillermo O'Bannon: So let's get underway! Devon Stevens wrestling his first singles match tonight since 2001.
Phil Blauer: He probably remembers me as a racist blowhard who couldn't tell you what building he was in, much less who was wrestling in the match he was watching.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Yeah, alot's changed.
Yolanda Ando: Devon Stevens wears a black leather jacket, black, semi-baggy jeans with dark red trim and black boots. He also has dark red MMA-style gloves and black fishnets on his forearms.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to The Cox Arena. Hardkore Jonnie Valentine and Hardkore America present tonight's event of wrestling excellence. Your referee is Ron Reid. Our first match tonight is scheduled for one fall, featuring first, from Cincinatti, Ohio; Standing 6 feet even; Weighing 230 pounds...DEVON STEVENS!!!"
(The crowd applauds and Devon Stevens loosens the ropes, waiting for his opponent. Then The Cox Arena falls abruptly dark. Overhead, on the tron, 3 symbols flash in and fade out slowly to the sound of a heartbeat:
<ALPHA>
<OMEGA>
<The Punisher skull>
(Over the sound system, “More Human Than Human” by White Zombie is heard starting to play. As the skull fades out, the arena lights up again, and standing there is “The Punisher” Dan Stein, raising his Peacemaker in the air over his head to the crowd’s approval. But he's wearing a red & yellow helmet with a big fist on the front. His manager, Domino, stands in front of Stein, and leads him to the ring area)
Phil Blauer: In Albuquerque "The Punisher" Dan Stein had his arm wrenched and cracked every concievable way by Syberus, he was given The Yankee Cracker and whipped with a leather strap by Lucifer Jones. So that might explain why he's wearing a helmet and an ankle brace, but not really.
(Stein gives Devon Stevens an intense look, then deftly flips the Peacemaker halfway into his hand and gives him a garish look while simulating a throat slash with the Peacemaker. Domino draws the hoots and whistles of the San Diego fans by blowing kisses to the crowd and waving to them. Stein quickly flips the Peacemaker into his hand and spins the club, to demonstrate his deftness with it. Domino dutifully helps him remove his black trenchcoat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein with some odd apparel but we're also talking about a business where large men mix alot of mesh & fringe with boots.
Phil Blauer: Men have killed over Steven Tyler's hand-me-downs.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Like who?
Phil Blauer: ...Bruiser Brody. And that guy that killed Crash.
Guillermo O'Bannon: At any rate, he is one of the most strongest men in the business so I'm not gonna mention anything to him about it.
Yolanda Ando: Dan Stein is wearing a large helmet with a fist on it that was once used to cover Hulk Hogan's bald spot during his feud with Sgt. Slaughter & Bad News Brown. A simple tight black t-shirt, and plain black shorts, with black leather wrestling boots. Around one of those boots is a yellow ankle brace with a broken bone airbrushed on it. Stein also wears black leather gloves with the fingers ripped out.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kinda funny when you think about it, the Hulkster hiding his baldspot like he did. He still looked like George Lucas standing next to Mean Gene.
Phil Blauer: Suspiciously homosexual?
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by his manager, Domino; Hailing from Detroit, Michigan; Standing 6 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 285 pounds...'THE PUNISHER' DAN STEIN!!!"
(The San Diego crowd cheers both men, as Domino pulls off his leather trenchcoat. Devon Stevens rushes him and smacks him under the chin with a superkick)
Guillermo O'Bannon: And here we go! Devon Stevens goes for a savatte kick to the kneeling Stein, but hurts his foot on the helmet!
(Stevens hops up & down, holding his hurt foot and Stein applies a stomach claw. The Punisher smashes him in the head with a headbutt with the fist helmet!! Stein crouches over Devon and chokes him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein choking Devon Stevens out with The Chinese Clutch. He pulls him up into a headlock, and then running bulldogs his face into the mat.
(Stein front facelocks him for a DDT, but Stevens fireman's carries him up on his shoulders. He drops him headfirst into an emerald frosion!! The Cox Arena comes alive with cheers, and Stevens climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon Stevens comes off the top with a Black Rain knee to the face as Stein gets to his feet!! Stein rolls around, clutching his face. Stevens hits the ropes and comes at him with a high cross body press, but Stein catches him!
(Stein walks around the ring with Devon in his arms, smiling. He walks over to Domino, winks and then fallaway slams Stevens three quarters across the ring! Then he gut wrench suplexes him across to the other side)
Phil Blauer: Stein showing his power here tonight, throwing him around like Veronica in the backseat of a camry.
Guillermo O'Bannon: What was that?
Phil Blauer: What was what?
Guillermo O'Bannon: I thought...nevermind. Stein pulls Stevens' head into his legs and then lifts him up onto his shoulder into a hanging backbreaker. Stein is known for working down the back to soften you up for The Reckoning.
Phil Blauer: The same way, Boone tries to soften me up with compliments so I'll let him borrow my gel.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: That's not true, sir. I am a reporter, just like yourself. And like you, I am always in search of the truth. What kind of reporter could I hope to be if I didn't tell the God's honest truth that you are the most handsome man on television and deserve to replace Guillermo as the play-by-play guy.
Phil Blauer: Ok, but just a dollop. (squirts out some gel into Boone's hand)
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: (tries to get his hair like Phil's) How do you get it to coif to the side like that.
Phil Blauer: Only god can give you the gift of managibility like this.
(Ron Reid checks in to see if Devon Stevens submits, as his arms fall limply to his sides. Devon rakes Stein's eyes, and falls behind The Punisher. He inverted facelocks him, and flips forward into a standing diamond dust)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Soul Crusher!! Stevens does a front facelock and applies a seated front neck lock he calls The '54 Choke. This name refers to the Cleveland Indians last performance at the World Series.
Phil Blauer: Good thing The Bengals are doing so well, or that could seem hypocritical.
Guillermo O'Bannon: He squeezes off all the air from Stein, proving we're all the same size lying down.
Phil Blauer: I'd ask your girl about that.
(Ron Reid asks Stein if he wants to tap out, but Stein can't answer. Domino pounds on the apron, trying to keep Stein awake. Devon Stevens puts Stein's arm over his head and applies a side headlock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon Stevens applies The Cincinatti Strangler. Stevens continue to wear him down, trying to weaken the strongman so that he can't continue to toss him around the ring.
Phil Blauer: What if there was a Cincinatti Strangler? Think anyone would care?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Not until he started killing white chicks.
(Stevens grinds away at Stein's head. Domino screams out some instructions, then Dan Stein rolls him onto his shoulders)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Devon Stevens releases The Cincinatti Strangler)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon Stevens irish whips Dan Stein into the ropes and hits him with an inazuma leg lariot! He climbs to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a moonsault kneedrop, but Stein rolls out of the way!!
(Devon Stevens clutches at his knee, and "The Punisher" Dan Stein turns his anklebrace around to the back of his calf. He whips his finger around in the air, and spins Stevens leg around into a figure four leglock)
Phil Blauer: "The Punisher" Dan Stein using that anklebrace to gain added leverage with the figure four! How could that fat fuck Reid miss it?
Guillermo O'Bannon: You kidding me? He lets Gojira bring in that barbed wire wrapped chair everytime. He uses that thing for a weardown move. Devon Stevens sits up in agony, grabbing his hair with both hands. Stein using that ankle thingy to possibly end this match four minutes in.
(Stevens sits up and grabs the second rope. Ron Reid forces Stein to break the figure four. Stein presses him over his head, and then drops his throat on the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "The Punisher" Dan Stein applies a full nelson. He locks those hotdog sized fingers together and pushes down on his neck. He whips the cruiserweight from side to side, trying hard to fracture his neck.
(Dan Stein lifts him up and slams him assfirst into the canvas with a full nelson slam. Stein pulls him up but Stevens ducks under a punch and he back suplexes him up on his shoulder, then flips him forward into a sitdown faceslam)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stevens back in the game with a Carbomb!! Devon Stevens climbs up to the second turnbuckle and hits a split legged moonsault!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2....(Dan Stein kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon Stevens steps through the ropes onto the apron, and slingshots himself on to the middle of the top rope. He springboards off into a dropkick!!
(The crowd is on their feet, applauding. Stevens irish whips Dan Stein into the ropes and flips into a huracanrana, but Stein catches his legs and drops his back on to the top rope, using the momentum to slingshot powerbomb Devon!! The fans clap even louder for that, as well as Domino)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein lifts up Stevens' arm and heart punches him. He follows it up with an oklahoma roll!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Devon Stevens kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein irish whips Devon Stevens into the ropes, but Stevens hops on the middle of the second rope and backflips into an asai moonsault press!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Dan Stein kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon waits for Dan to stand up and hits him with a spinning backfist. Stevens hits the ropes and drops Stein with a rolling elbow!
(Devon Stevens lifts Stein up in a fisherman's suplex and then flips him forward into a spinebuster!! The San Diego crowd applauds. Devon runs into the ropes and comes at him with a flying body press but The Punisher catches him into a powerslam)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Devon Stevens kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein hooks him up, tangles their legs together and he drops back into a russian legsweep! He tosses him across the ring with a butterfly suplex!
(Stein front facelocks Stevens but Devon blocks the DDT and back body drops him. He runs at Stein with a leg lariot and follows him down into a legdrop! He irish whips Stein into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon Stevens spinning headscissors Stein through the ropes to the floor below! Stevens runs into the ropes and hits him with a lightning fast shinkansen elbow strike through the ropes!!
(Fans cheer and chant "DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!!" Devon Stevens climbs to the second turnbuckle, and the San Diego fans buzz with excitement and crane their heads towards the spectacle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon Stevens backflips into a moonsault knee smash to Dan Stein's face!!
Phil Blauer: Unbelievable!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Can you believe after a nearly four year absence from the ring, Devon Stevens can still move like that?
Phil Blauer: No, I'm talking about Mrs. Doubtfire 2!! It's right here in Variety that Bonnie Hunt is writing the sequel. How many watched her show, Life with Bonnie? Three?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bonnie Hunt's funny, I don't care what anybody says. Anyway, the woman's best friends with Tom Hanks...she's bulletproof.
Phil Blauer: Who isn't best friends with Tom Hanks? Me, Rita, Tom, Ron, and Ron's new wife, whats-her-name went over to Steven and Kate's just last week after temple.
(The Cox Arena continues to chant "DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!! DE-VON!!" Devon Stevens goes to suplex Stein, but The Punisher blocks it with his powerful calves. He lifts up Stevens up in a hanging suplex, and the crowd cheers at his sheer strength)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein suplexes Stevens on the concrete floor!! He holds onto him and lifts him into a second hanging suplex, this time dropping him into a jackhammer on the floor!!
(Stevens writhes around The Cox Arena floor, clutching his back in agony. The crowd pops for The Punisher, and he rolls Devon into the ring. Stein has developed a large potato shot under his eye from Steven's knee earlier)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein scoops Stevens up and drops him into a michinoku driver II!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Devon Stevens gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein rolls Stevens up to his feet, standing back to back with him, and drops into a Twilight Hammer reverse neckbreaker! He hooks the leg.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Devon Stevens kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein irish whips Stevens into the ropes but Stevens comes back to the ring with a jumping knee kick he calls Limit Break! Blood really starting to flow from underneath Devon's eye.
(Devon Stevens front facelocks Stein, grabs a handful of his shorts, and lifts him up. He drops his feet on the top rope, and drills his head into the mat with a slingshot DDT!! Stevens climbs up to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Devon Stevens backflips into his shooting star Zero Grav legdrop!!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Dan Stein kicks out)
Phil Blauer: Dan Stein kicked out of the The Zero Grav!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Steven irish whips Stevens into the ropes, dips down for a backdrop, but Stein reverses it into a swinging neckbreaker!
(Stein pulls his head into his legs, and threads his own arm through his legs. He uses his crotch-tied arm to lift him up into a sitdown pumphandle slam)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Reckoning!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
("More Human Than Human" by White Zombie plays and Domino jubilantly steps into the ring. Dan Stein touches the large bruise on his cheekbone, and winces)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 13 minutes 14 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...'THE PUNISHER' DAN STEIN!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein gets an impressive win here tonight, to start our show off right, but you know Lucifer Jones was getting an eyefull in preperation of their upcoming leather strap match.
(Domino holds Stein's arm up and they walk to the back with White Zombie ringing through The Cox Arena)
***commercial***
(Fade up on a lavish Hollywood Hills apartment. Expensive lingerie, beer bottles, and dog shit cover the carpet. Paris Hilton staggers out of her bedroom, with dried mascara running down her eyes and old vomit crusted on the side of her face. When she walks out of the shot, you can see a man's foot hanging off the bed in her room. Paris walks over to her cupboard, but there's nothing in there but a bag of microwave popcorn and a box next to it. She sighs, and then puts the popcorn in the microwave and sets the timer for three minutes)
Voiceover: The new "Paris Hilton Express" home pregnancy test by the makers of EPT.
(Paris Hilton goes to the same cupboard and pulls out the box. The camera shows us that it's a pregnancy test. She sits down in the chair next to the microwave and pees on the stick. Piss goes everywhere, cause she's nasty and that's what maids are for)
Voiceover: For today's on-the-go woman who can't wait all morning to see if it's ok to take ectascy.
(Man in bedroom calls out to Paris)
Hayden Christiansen: Yo babe, you wanna call Lindsey Lohan and fly to Ibiza? I hear they got a club there where you can shroom and hang out with guys dressed as giant cartoon characters. One of the One Tree Hill kids told me about it.
(Bell in microwave goes off, popcorn's done. Paris checks her stick, and it's negative)
Paris Hilton: Sound's hot.
Voiceover: The "Paris Hilton Express" home pregnancy test.
Paris Hilton: I stake my reputation on it.
(The Shootfighter is in the lockerroom sitting on the bench seat with the West Coast Title around his waist. He stares at the camera with a look of hate, rage and fury on his face. There is even more intensity on his face than usual than any other time he wrestled in Hardkore World. He is wearing his black knee length wrestling tights, black boots, sharp shiny metallic studded black forearm pads an tight black robe with a fierce looking red dragon on the back his chest length dark hair is tied in a pony tail.)
The Shootfighter: "Tony Thunder all the talk is over! All your workouts and all your so-called preparations and your so called 'plan' won't save you from me! Look at me Tony Thunder and look at these eyes! It's all business and that means doom for your dreams at winning this West Coast Title!"
(The camera pans closer to The Shootfighter.)
The Shootfighter: "I know you want to play mind games with me but remember this: I don't play mind games with anyone nor do I like them! Tonight Tony Thunder you think I'm going to mess around with you! Wrong! The first time I was too nice and respectful! Now I'm going to shut you up once and for all! Tonight is The Shootfighter's night! Don't you even forget that Thunder!"
(The Shootfighter gets up and goes over to a corner as the camera pans closer. There is an object lying upright. The Shootfighter simply picks it up and the camera reveals it to be a skateboard.)
The Shootfighter: "Look at this Tony Thunder! Recognize it?! You do?! Maybe it's yours and maybe it isn't! Frankly speaking I don't care, since you want to play mind games with me! Well let's see how you love this one! It's called steal one's property and I'll destroy yours! I know that's your plan so I'll give you a lesson in stealing victories and the cost of it!"
(He places the skateboard over a trash can and lets out a terrifying kai destroying the skateboard. It falls into the trash can.)
The Shootfighter: "You see Thunder this is the price you must pay! This is the price that you must realize for playing mind games with me! You want to know if that was really yours or not! Actually I'll be more than happy to tell you! It wasn't yours but being you are supposedly smart as Bruno claims you are! You would have figured it out immediately! Are you upset, because I did something to you that you didn't like?! Well Thunder do you! Well now you know how it feels
to play mind games with me! I don't like it!"
(The Shootfighter puts some lighter fluid into the can and the sets it on fire.)
The Shootfighter: "This is your fate Tony Thunder! Your fate is crash and burn! A fiery destruction that even you can't bounce back from! Remember when I defeat you! I shall make sure your hospital stay is going to be a long painful one! Prepare for your destruction Tony Thunder! Prepare for the ultimate defeat! Prepare for Mortal Kombat!"
(The door opens and Judge Death enters the lockerroom. He is wearing his black judges robes, black boots, a Colonial Era white wig, a gargoyle's mask and wields a cane that has a gargoyle's head on the top. He orders a Hooded Man to put the fire out.)
Judge Death: "Are you trying to burn the arena down."
The Shootfighter: "I'm showing Tony Thunder what he's in for for trying to play mind games!"
Judge Death: "Now you know arson is illegal and it doesn't help playing mind games either. Rememember that could bolster Thunder's case and you don't want that do you?"
The Shootfighter: "I don't!"
Judge Death: "Then you shouldn't do anything stupid like that. Remember do not blow your case with such foolish stunts."
The Shootfighter: "It wasn't his skateboard."
Judge Death: "I see. Still it may backfire against you, since it shall give him evidence to win his
appeal and we don't want that now do we?"
The Shootfighter: "No!"
Judge Death: "Then let's see if you learned that lesson when you defend your West Coast Title."
The Shootfighter: "Yes your honor!"
(They leave the lockerroom the trash can still smoldering with the remains of the skateboard as the scene fades to ringside. The shot slides over four tables against the ropes a ladder in the center)
Guillermo O'Bannon: In Seattle, Brandi decimated our female roster worse than any Phoenix OOC rant ever could. During a tag team match, she attacked "Sexy" Anjanette Turner, Vagabond, even her own partner Tamara Sanchez. Only Vagabond, has seen ring action since.
Phil Blauer: But Tammy is surely seeing action of some sort.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond looking to get a measure of revenge on Brandi for Date {No Means No} piledriving her on The Key Arena floor, while Brandi is looking to get a rematch against Hardkore World Champion Ayame "Phoenix" Tokugawa. A win over the woman that pinned two time champion Xyrynth is definately a step in the right direction.
("Strutter" by KISS hits as a lone spotlight follows Brandi as she steps through the entrance and looks at the crowd. The San Diego fans boo as she slowly walks down to the ring. She enters the ring and stands in the middle with the same spotlight on her as she hangs her head back and basks in the spotlight on her. She slowly and seductively eyes the ladder and tables nervously)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mum has been the word from Brandi over what went down with Hardkore South closing.
Phil Blauer: My guess is the arenas weren't taking her food stamps.
Yolanda Ando: Brandi is wearing a white sports bra and black spandex tights that read "Brandi" on the back.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following Tables, Ladders, and Chairs Match is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Ron Reid; Hailing from Sontag, Virginia; Standing 5 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 'None of Your Damn Concern'...BRANDI!!!"
(The Cox Arena boos and jeers her. Then "Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf plays in the backgrounds as the curtains part and Vagabond walks out with her hands up for the crowd. She walks to the ring with a huge ovation from the San Diego fans so she gives them a little smile)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Many fans here tonight told me her match with Xyrynth in Albuquerque a show stealer.
Phil Blauer: You talk to the fans? What do you talk about once you get past "Jar Jar Binks sucked?" and "Lance Storm was mis-used?"
Guillermo O'Bannon: At any rate, Vagabond has recently started up a fast friendship with former Hardkore West Coast Champion Big Bad Bill. He could definately be a good mentor to work with in one of the tougher women's divisions in the country.
Yolanda Ando: I make sure I TiVo any of their promos. I watch em with my cat Colonel Puffybottom, a box of Dove bars and make a whole night of it. Would you like to hear who Colonel Puffybottom's favorite character on Desperate Housewives is?
Guillermo & Phil: NO.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And her opponent, hailing from Bethany Beach, Delaware; Standing 5 feet even; Weighing 150 pounds...VAGABOND!!!"
(She climbs up to the second turnbuckle to soak in the loud cheers, then gives the “come on” gesture to Brandi)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi rushes Vagabond but Vagabond stops her dead in her tracks with a spear! She irish whips Brandi into the ropes and drops her with a heel strike to her nose.
(Vagabond headlocks Brandi and runs into the center of the ring with a bulldog. Brandi clutches her nose. She runs into the ropes and flying body presses but Brandi catches her)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi kicks the ladder over with her foot and then bodyslams her on top of it!!
(Vagabond writhes around the mat, holding the small off her back. She grabs two handfuls of Vagabond's hair and tosses her into the corner. She karate chops Vagabond hard in the chest. The sound resonates throughout The Cox Arena, and the audience groans in sympathy. Brandi takes away Vagabond's hand from her chest, to give her another hard chop)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi cuts through her opponent with another loud chop to her chest. She grabs the ropes for balance and drives her knee into Vagabond's stomach. Vagabond pops her in the face with a punch and then a tornado punch.
(Vagabond grabs her by the hair and starts bouncing her face off the turnbuckle while the audience counts along)
Audience: 1...
Audience: 2...
Audience: 3...
Audience: 4...
Audience: 5...
Audience: 6...
Audience: 7...
Audience: 8...
Audience: 9...
Audience: 10!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond monkey flips her out of the corner across the ring! She rushes into the ropes, but Brandi floors her with a savatte kick!
(The Cox Arena boos. She lines up the ladder behind her, and then hooks her up. She suplexes Vagabond's back across the ladder!! Vagabond flops around the ring like a stunned fish)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi grabs her leg and turns her over into a single leg boston crab. She plants her feet and pulls back on her leg, trying to take away those daredevil moves of hers.
(Brandi tugs back on Vagabond's bent back leg, and she screams out in pain. Ron Reid checks in to see if she wants to tap out, but the Delaware native refuses, so Brandi releases the half crab. She front facelocks Vagabond, but Vagabond turns it into a backdrop, depositing Brandi on the ladder!! The San Diego fans come alive)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond sets Brandi up on a table then runs into the ropes. She hops onto the middle of the second rope and backflips into a lionsault through the table!!
(Crowd gives her a monster pop and start chanting "VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!!" Vagabond makes a cover)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Brandi kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond applies a crippler crossface! She's got those fingers locked, and yanks up on her head & arm. Reid checks in with Brandi, but her refusals are too obscenity laced for us to repeat.
Phil Blauer: Not me. It's something about a sockcucker.
(Brandi grabs the ropes and Ron Reid forces a break, making the fans boo. Vagabond releases the crippler crossface and drags one of the tables into the center of the ring. She pulls Brandi's head into her legs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond pulls her up on her shoulder, and samurai drivers her, liquifying the table!!
(The fans cheer, and Brandi lies in a pile of table rubble. Vagabond screams in her face "There you go, you skank!" She then steps through the ropes out to the apron. She waits for Brandi to stand back up, then hops on to the middle of the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond nails her with a springboard spinning kick to the face! She rolls Brandi onto the ladder and climbs to the top turnbuckle. She backflips into a shooting star press but Brandi moves and Vagabond lands on her chest on that ladder!!
(The Cox Arena boos, as both ladies lie next to one another, writhing in pain. Brandi rolls out of the ring and grabs a chair. She enters back into the ring with chair in hand, and then clubs Vagabond in the head with it)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi DDTs Vagabond on to the chair! She rolls her over into a pinning position.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Vagabond kicks out)
(Brandi dumps her on to one of the tables and then sets up the ladder. She climbs up the ladder and backflips into a moonsault through the table!!! The fans gasp, and then chant "HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!!")
Phil Blauer: This has turned into a sensational match!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi moonsaults Vagabond off the ladder through that table! She makes another pin attempt.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Vagabond kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: She scoops Vagabond up and drops her into a backbreaker. She waistlocks Vagabond and drops back into a german suplex!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Vagabond rolls her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi pulls her up into a powerbomb, but Vagabond reverses it into a huracanrana! She grabs her by the hair and tosses her over the top rope.
(Brandi hits the concrete floor hard. Vagabond drags the ladder in front of the ropes and climbs up. The fans crane their heads to see the spectacle before she leaps off into a suicide dive!! Both ladies hit the guardrail, and the crowd chants "VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond leans her against the railing and then climbs up to the apron. She hops onto the middle of the second rope and comes off with a spectacular asai moonsault, taking her over the guardrail into the audience!!
(The crowd continues to chant "VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!!" as both ladies lie in the laps of a couple of front row fans)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi grabs a 16oz cup of beer and throws it into Vagabond's face! She bounces Vagabond's head off of the railing! She pulls her over the security rail, battering her about the face and head with forearms. She bulldogs her on the The Cox Arena floor!
(Brandi rolls Vagabond into the ring. She lies the ladder down behind her, then gut wrenches Vagabond on to her shoulder. She then lets her flip forward, facefirst on to the ladder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi attempts to fireman carry Vagabond, but she blocks it and impaler DDTs her skull onto that chair!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Brandi kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: She dumps her on that ladder, then climbs up to the second turnbuckle. Vagabond's legs hit the top rope and she backflips into a split legged moonsault!! Brandi is sandwiched in between Vagabond and that ladder!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Brandi gets her foot on the bottom rope)
(Vagabond applies an anklelock to Brandi's foot. She gives it a hard twist, and Brandi yelps out in pain. She wraps her legs around Brandi's thigh, and drops down into an on the mat version)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond wrenches her foot from side to side, trying to break Brandi's ankle. Brandi kicks her off finally. Vagabond runs into the ropes and thez presses her, but Brandi catches her and drops her throat on the top rope!
(Brandi twists her around into a neckbreaker! She then wraps her arm around her head into a dragon sleeper. She pulls back on Vagabond's head, planting her feet for better balance)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi has Vagabond right where she wants her with The Seduction. Ron Reid checks in but Vagabond holding on, trying to avoid her first loss here in Hardkore World! Brandi lifts her limp opponent up and drops the back of her head onto her knee!
(Brandi gut wrench suplexes her, then steps through the ropes to the floor. She pulls a table up and leans it against the ropes on the apron. Vagabond runs into the ropes and baseball slide kicks the table into Brandi's face!! The crowd cheers)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond climbs to the top turnbuckle, and comes off with a corkscrew plancha!!
(The fans start up the chant, "VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!!" She rolls Brandi into the ring and climbs in the ring herself)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond climbs to the top rope again and this time flips off with a 450 splash!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Brandi kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond irish whips her into the ropes and flying Mexican armdrags her over her shoulder! She irish whips her again, and dips down for a backdrop, but Brandi butterflies her arms. She tosses her across the ring with a double underhook suplex!
Phil Blauer: Who is that coming down to the ring?
Guillermo O'Bannon: It's Tamara Sanchez!
Phil Blauer: Who?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil, she's only been gone two months.
Phil Blauer: Oh yeah, Phoenix's chick.
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's Xyrynth. Tamara Sanchez was the former Hardkore World Women's Champion.
Phil Blauer: Startin to ring a bell, was she the tennis player groupie?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bingo.
Yolanda Ando: Tammy sporting a darker look now. She's dyed her curly hair black and put it in braids. She has black crosses under both her eyes. She wears blue jean cut-offs and a black shirt with "Fuck Me" on the front on the back and "Fuck Off" on the back. She also has on some black wrestling boots.
Phil Blauer: I dig that shirt. It's got my favorite pick-up line on the front and the answer I get on the back.
(Brandi spots Tamara Sanchez and starts moving seductively for her, mocking her. The Cox Arena rocks with boos. She sneers and sits down on Vagabond's face, grinding her crotch into her face. The jeering fans really let her have it for that)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Brandi lifts her up into a suplex, drops her feet on the top rope, and she riccochets back into a slingshot suplex!
(She points at Tammy Sanchez, then lifts her up into a piledriver, but Vagabond rolls up into a head scissors takedown! The audience cheers the reversal of The Date {No Means No}, as Vagabond sets up a table and puts Brandi on top of it. Vagabond sets up a ladder in the center of the ring. She climbs up to the very top, then Vagabond does a swan dive senton)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond reverses The Date {No Means No}, and sets her up for The Butterfly Dive off of the ladder through the press table!!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The audience chants "VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!!" as "Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf plays through The Cox Arena)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond gains a measure of revenge on Brandi tonight in this tables, ladders, and chairs match!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 13 minutes 35 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...VAGABOND!!!"
(Vagabond staggers up to her feet, hurt but victorious. Suddenly, enters the ring and picks up the chair. She cracks Brandi in the skull with it)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez is in the ring and doing some dirt with that chair. She throws the chair down and pulls her head into her legs. She drills Brandi's head into that chair with her own Date {No Means No} piledriver!!
(Crowd cheers, and Sanchez arranges a broken table over the wrist of Brandi. She takes the chair and drives the top of the chair into Brandi's elbow!! The fans wince at the sickening sight)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez getting a measure of revenge of her own, by attempting to break her arm if she hasn't already! She lifts up the chair again and slams it into the back of her elbow again!!
(Brandi rolls around the mat, clutching her limp arm to her side. Ron Reid tries to keep her still long enough to get medical treatment)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez spins arond and brains Vagabond in the head with that chair!! What is she doing??
Phil Blauer: Chicks. Who knows?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez delivers an FU on the ladder!!
(The fans boo Tammy, as she climbs up to the top turnbuckle. She backflips into a shooting star press with Vagabond on the ladder)
Phil Blauer: The 7 Year Inch on Vagabond while she's lying on that ladder!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez returns to Hardkore World, the same way she left, decimating the women's division!
(Sanchez rolls out of the ring, and walks to the back under a hail of trash and debris from the booing fans. She leaves Vagabond rolling around, clutching her ribs and Brandi with a broken arm)
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May 30, 2005#9
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up fans, we have the match between two of the most extreme wrestlers on the West Coast right now. Tarrasque, a wrestler who held the West Coast title for nearly a year and a half. He is a two time Hardkore America Champion. He has held the six man title more times than Xyrynth has used crab lice shampoo.
Phil Blauer: I use it in my hair. It makes my scalp tingle.
Matt Boone: And it gives your hair incredible body, sir.
Phil Blauer: Blau-Dog was born with the body.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely is one of the most skilled and underrated wrestlers here in Hardkore America. But it's gonna be a fight for his life inside the ring with this crazed cannibal.
("All Star" by Smashmouth plays and the audience boos. Lucius Morgan and "God's Gift" Jeremiah Vastrix walks out to the ring in expensive suits. Tarrasque follows behind chewing on a raw steak, with blood and drool coming out from his mouth)
Phil Blauer: Tarrasque still stinging from falling off the scaffold in Albuquerque, you can tell by the way he's limping and sort of gumming that steak.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely would be well advised to go after that leg or spend a lot more time on The Cox Arena floor than is medically recommended. We're dealing with the EWA Extreme Champion, NWC International Champion, NWC World Champion, NWC Hardcore Champion, ECWF Intercontinental Champion.
Phil Blauer: Yeah, but those are Canadian feds. All you need to get over there is a mustache.
Yolanda Ando: Tarrasque wearing some black trunks with the biohazard sign on it.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Does anyone remember the band Biohazard? It was like they gave the Aryan Nation some guitars.
Phil Blauer: Remember the Boo Ya Tribe? They walked off the set of American Me right into our hearts.
Guillermo O'Bannon: They were ahead of the curve, showing up in Janet Jackson's "That's the Way Love Goes" back when that kind of thing was considered "going pop" as opposed to day where it's "desperately ploying t for mainstream radio play".
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is scheduled for one fall and a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by "God's Gift" Jeremiah Vastrix, and his manager, Lucius Morgan; From Arkham Asylum; Standing 6 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 275 pounds...TARRASQUE!!!"
(The audience boos. Then "In the Year of the Wolf" by Motorhead plays and the San Diego crowd applauds. Rain leads Lonewolf McNeely out to the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely has lost his last couple matches against Big Bad Bill and "White Chapel Horror" Lucifer Jones. He's looking to get back into the winning ways with a win against The Warhammer Corporation's most decorated champion.
Phil Blauer: He has a plaque that hangs over the Sprite machine in the Warhammer Corporation's lunch room.
Yolanda Ando: It matches the plaque on this teeth. Lonewolf wears silver leather shorts with fangs on the rear, black boots with a wolf on the sides and black fringe hanging off the sides.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by his manager, Rain; Hailing from Montreal, Quebec, Canada; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 250 pounds...LONEWOLF MCNEELY!!!"
(The audience gives him a round of applause. Tarrasque can't take it anymore and attacks Lonewolf McNeely in the corner! Rain screams and runs out of the ring. Tarrasque punches McNeely over & over, pulling him out to the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque powerslams Lonewolf McNeely off the apron onto the concrete!!
Phil Blauer: This match could be over already! We're really making time!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque grabs McNeely by the throat...
Phil Blauer: He doesn't get the C-H-O-K-E-S-L-A-M signs, he just gets the job done.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque chokeslams his back across the railing!!
(The Cox Arena boos, as McNeely walks on his knees, with his hand against the small of his back. Tarrasque pulls him up by his hair and throws him facefirst into the corner post! McNeely covers his nose, and he smashes his face into the post again. Tarrasque climbs up to the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque hops off the apron with a double stomp to Lonewolf McNeely's head on the concrete!! Tarrasque rolls back into the ring, and hits the ropes. He leaps over the top with a flying headbutt, but Rain pulls Lonewolf out of the way!
(Tarrasque's head smacks the railing with a loud crack! With Rain's help, Lonewolf McNeely gets up on the apron. He hops up on the second turnbuckle, and flips off into a corkscrew plancha!! The crowd pops)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A bleeding Lonewolf McNeely climbs up on the apron, then back kicks Tarrasque to back him up. He hops on to the middle of the second rope and backflips into an asai moonsault press into the railing!!
(The Cox Arena cheers really loudly, as both men lie side by side against the guardrail. Rain lightly slaps McNeely's face to wake him up. He rolls Tarrasque into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque gets to his feet, but McNeely slingshots himself over the ropes into a flipping dropkick!
Phil Blauer: Nice.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely pops him a couple times in the chest with some forearms. He hits the ropes and comes back with a roaring elbow but Tarrasque ducks under it and backslides him!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Lonewolf McNeely gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque irish whips McNeely into the ropes and drills his head into the mat with a huracanrana!!
(Tarrasque sets McNeely's foot on the bottom rope. He sits up on the top turnbuckle, then jumps off the second turnbuckle with a stomp to McNeely's leg. The crowd boos)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque headlocks McNeely. He runs for a bulldog, but McNeely pushes him off chestfirst into the turnbuckles. Tarrasque staggers out, and Lonewolf catches him with a release german suplex!
Phil Blauer: No bridge, all impact. Like my sexpertise. I call it Flamingo Style.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He comes down crashing across Tarrasque's face with a leg drop!! He covers the two time Hardkore America Champion!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tarrasque kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely irish whips Tarrasque into the ropes, and takes him out with a spinning heel kick! He inverted facelocks him, and steps up on the second turnbuckle. He flips over into a Sands of Time ace crusher!!
(The crowd cheers McNeely on, and Rain pounds the apron with encouragement. He climbs up to the top turnbuckle, but "God's Gift" Jeremiah Vastrix climbs up to the apron. He grabs Lonewolf's leg then jumps off the apron, crotching him on the turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque comes off the ropes with a diving tackle, sending McNeely off the top to the railing!!
(The fans jeer and boo. Tarrasque rolls out of the ring, and lifts him in a suplex. He drops McNeely's groin into the cornerpost! Lonewolf clutches his balls, and Rain tries to comfort him. Tarrasque growls at her and she runs away)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque fireman's carries him up on to his shoulders. McNeely death valley drivers his head on The Cox Arena floor!!
(Lucius Morgan pulls a table out from underneath the ring, and he & Jeremiah Vastrix set it up. Tarrasque pulls his head into his legs. He lifts him up on his shoulder and flips him forward into a facefirst powerbomb through the table!! The crowd gives a huge pop)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque has liquified that table with the chest of Lonewolf! He rolls him onto the apron, and pulls his head into his legs again. McNeely blocks it and back drops Tarrasque over the ropes back into the ring. McNeely steps back through the ropes. McNeely pops Tarrasque under the chin!
(Tarrasque staggers around as McNeely climbs up to the top turnbuckle. McNeely grabs him by the hair, and comes off the top with a pedigree)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely drives his face into the mat with The Slashing Effect!! He bends him backwards into a dragon sleeper. Tarrasque kicking out, trying to hook his leg around the bottom rope.
(Mike Peters checks in to see if he submits. McNeely releases him long enough to butterfly Tarrasque's arms. He gives him an impaler DDT)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely climbs to the top turnbuckle. Lucius Morgan hops up to the apron and shakes the ropes. He crotches McNeely! Tarrasque steps up to the second rope and brainbuster suplexes him over into a pinning position!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Lonewolf McNeely kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tarrasque climbs up to the top rope, and hops off with a ribbreaker stomp to McNeely’s throat!!
Phil Blauer: My god, he can’t breathe!
(McNeely rolls around the mat, clutching his throat, turning red. Rain covers her mouth in horror. The fans boo and jeer the madman as he snarls and lashes out at them. Tarrasque applies a claw to Lonewolf’s temples, squeezing blood out of the cut over McNeely’s eye. Rain asks McNeely if he’s ok, but he isn’t answering)
Guillermo O’Bannon: McNeely makes it up to his feet, but Tarrasque stops him in his tracks with a bodyslam from way up high. Tarrasque pulls him up and atomic drops him acoss the top rope!
(Rain curses, and turns her ahead away in disgust. Tarrasque grabs the top rope and bounces Lonewolf up & down, until he falls to his side on the mat. Tarrasque climbs to the top rope)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lonewolf rolls out of the way of another ribbreaker stomp! He pops Tarrasque in the face with an elbow. He irish whips him into the ropes and drills him into the mat with a spinebuster! He floats over into a pin!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tarrasque kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: McNeely pulls Tarrasque’s head into his legs while chicken winging both of his arms. Lights Out piledriver!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2....(Jeremiah Vastrix puts Tarrasque’s foot on the ropes)
Guillermo O’Bannon: God’s Gift steals the match for Tarrasque! McNeely may have had it won there.
Phil Blauer: I didn’t see it. It was Lights Out.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Good one, sir.
Phil Blauer: Thank you, Mike.
(McNeely curses in frustration, then glares at Vastrix. Vastrix gulps, and McNeely takes off after him! Lonewolf chases him around the ring several times until Rain trips him!)
“God’s Gift” Jeremiah Vastrix: “Bitch! (looks at Lonewolf) Woah, woah, woah. I didn’t mean that.”
Phil Blauer: I think most ex-husbands would concur with that.
Guillermo O’Bannon: McNeely whallops Vastrix with a kick to the face. Lucius Morgan jumps on McNeely’s back, but Rain grabs him and begins slapping him. Morgan instinctively makes a fist at Rain, but McNeely grabs his wrist!
(Crowd cheers at the whuppin Morgan has coming, and don’t see Tarrasque coming over the top rope with a death leap on Lonewolf McNeely, Lucius Morgan, Rain, and Jeremiah Vastrix!! San Diego gasps at the spectacle, then begin chanting “HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!”)
Phil Blauer: Tarrasque decimates every attraction in this match except for me!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Give him time. Tarrasque pulls McNeely up on his shoulder with a facefirst powerbomb onto the guardrail!!
(Fans boo as McNeely slides down the railing on to the floor. Tarrasque presses him over his head. He runs at the cornerpost and rams McNeely’s face into it!! McNeely drops to the concrete a bloody mess)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tarrasque rolls McNeely back into the ring and then pulls him up to a standing position in center ring. He grabs two handfuls of McNeely’s balls for his finisher called The Rise of the Feminine Side!! He’s showing his raw power by lifting Mcneely up by his testicals!
Yolanda Ando: Does anybody else find this attractive?
Phil Blauer: No.
Guillermo O'Bannon: No.
Matt Boone: Maybe. Wait...No. No I don't.
Phil Blauer: Now a couple chicks grabbin' each other's boobs. That's attractive.
(The Cox Arena rocks with boos, as McNeely yelps over & over in pain. Suddenly he reverses it with a diamond cutter!! The crowd roars)
Guillermo O’Bannon: McNeely reverses The Rise of the Feminine Side and makes the pin!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
(The crowd applauds and a blood soaked McNeely rolls out of the ring. In the Year of the Wolf” by Motorhead plays over The Cox Arena sound system)
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “At 11 minutes 15 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...LONEWOLF MCNEELY!!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: McNeely limping away with his balls in his hands.
Phil Blauer: Lonewolf won the battle, Rain lost the war.
(Rain keeps asking if McNeely’s ok, Lonewolf keeps growling “I’m fine!!” as he limps gingerly back to the locker room)
(30 security guards walk through the curtain and make a human barrier in front of the ring area)
Guillermo O’Bannon: It seems if you hit Jonnie on a good day, he comes through. Those are the security guards Lucifer Jones asked for to protect him from "The Punisher" Dan Stein. And it's time to find out who is going to the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament finals in Palm Springs.
Phil Blauer: Boonesy?
(former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone wheels up a cage with a crank to it, filled with ping pong balls. Phil gets up from behind the desk and walks over to the raffle)
Guillermo O’Bannon: What’s this?
Phil Blauer: The future, my boy. Matthew, if you could do the honors?
(An eager former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone nods and gives the wheel a crank a few times. Phil then opens up the door and pulls out a ball)
Phil Blauer: (reads the ball) “Tony Thunder”. Hmm. Ok, so let’s see who this Tony Thunder character will be facing in the finals.
(Boone spins the raffle cage one more time and then pulls out another ball. He reads it, nods, and hands it to Phil)
Phil Blauer: “’Sexy’ Anjanette Turner” Wow, that could be good.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Phil, what are you doing?
Phil Blauer: Helping this company stay alive. I recently reviewed one of our shows against the more profitable WWE. It showed we are dangerously behind in such things as amatuer beauty contest webpolls, music videos from our performers, hell; we don’t even have a behind the scenes segment of any of the straight to video movies our wrestlers are in. Wrestling shows need to have as little wrestling on them so we can attract our target audience. People that don’t like wrestling. With my new raffle system, actual matches don’t even have to make it into the ring.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Just think about it, Giggles. The matches could surround the raffle cage. Guys putting in extra balls with their names in it, and the subsequent admission of that in a shoot interview for a face turn. People getting hit with the raffle cage, for part of their dastardly heel turn. I could just see Phoenix smash all the balls with his foot when he doesn’t like how a result goes.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ok, but for the short term, let’s just try letting them wrestle for tonight. Lucifer Jones earned his money in Albuquerque, appearing in “The Punisher” Dan Stein’s match, only to be whipped by that man wearing his mask. He also attacked this man, Big Bad Bill after Bill defeated Death Gojira in one of the most violent battles the West Coast has ever seen. Now they meet in a match to decide who will take on the winner of the Cyrus Williams vs. Syberus in Palm Springs, California for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament Final.
(The lights turn a deep shade of blood red, and "Homicidal" by The Bad Luck 13 starts to play. The arena is all boo's and jeers except for a few loyal smart marks as Lucifer Jones appears from behind the curtain, cracking his neck and staring down at the empty ring. He walks down the walkway, ignoring the security guards and the jeers & insults of the fans. He slides into the ring and settles into a corner, cracking his knuckles and gets ready for the battle at hand.)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones all business for this one, showing what kind of respect he has for Big Bad Bill the athlete. Jones trying to look past this man running around in his mask, trying to look past “The Punisher” Dan Stein and focus on his next step to the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title.
Phil Blauer: (listening to his headphones, singing out of key) “Why don’t you take me to...Honkytown!
Why don’t you take me to...Honkeytown!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Phil?
Phil Blauer: (takes one headphone off) Que?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Can you pay attention, we have a Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament semi-final match going on. Besides, it’s Funkytown.
Phil Blauer: What is?
Yolanda Ando: The song, Phil. Why would anyone go to Honkytown when there’s already a Duluth? Lucifer Jones is wearing snake skin leather pants tucked into a pair of well worn combat boots. He's shirtless and I don’t mind that a bit. His ripped frame is covered in various tattoos, most notably "Pro-Pain" tattooed across his stomach and "HARD KORE" on his knuckles. His hair is buzzed tight to his skull and most of his teeth are capped with gold. A long nasty scar wraps around his throat.
Phil Blauer: Ew. You either get one of those in the prison yard for playing the Mexican Mafia against The Aryan Brotherhood, or from one of those razors you get with a subscription to Sports Illustrated.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “The following contest is a Semi-Final Match in the HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT. It is scheduled for one fall, with a 30 minute time limit, and your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, from White Chapel, England; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 220 pounds...LUCIFER JONES!!!”
(The crowd boos Jones as he snarls at the entranceway. “Headless Children” by WASP plays and smoke fills the entrance ramp and ‘black lights’ cause a purplish glow as they flicker in the background. When the main guitar riff hits, Big Bad Bill appears through the smoke and walk towards destiny. The San Diego crowd cheers his entrance)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill popular here tonight, much more popular than in Albuqueruque against Death Gojira.
Phil Blauer: Seems happier, too. Why, Vagabond has him looking so huggable today we could call him Big Bear Bill.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Bill has become friends with Vagabond, who we saw earlier tonight in her victory over Brandi in a thrilling tables, ladders, and chairs match. You know, their relationship sort of reminds me of the one Veronica and I have. It’s based on trust, understanding, and my acceptance that this is the best I’m ever gonna look.
Phil Blauer: Desperation is the glue that holds many a relationships together.
Yolanda Ando: Boy howdy! Well, I think it’s great you found someone Guillermo. Does this mean our little conversations in my car where you make a lame pass and then cry when I reject you have to end?
Guillermo O’Bannon: I think I’ve outgrown those, Yolanda.
Phil Blauer: Pencil me in, just in case my Plan A with Brandi don’t work?
Yolanda Ando: You’ll come back. They all come back...Big Bad Bill is wearing some indigo cotton pants with black boots that go to mid-shin. With it he wears a black belt & an indigo tank top along with a pair of black weight-lifting gloves.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “And his opponent, from Asbury Park, New Jersey; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds...BIG BAD BILL!!!”
(The San Diego crowd pops and BBB goes for a corkscrew spear to pearl harbor Jones, but LuJo sidesteps it, using his own momentum against him and tosses him shoulder first into the steel post through the turnbuckles!! The cheers turn to jeers)
Phil Blauer: Big Bad Bill attempts to catch Lucifer Jones sleeping, but Jones had that move scouted.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones drags Big Bad Bill into the corner shoulder first against the steel post!
Phil Blauer: Jones may be targeting the arm for some reason.
(Jones slides out of the ring, and while holding onto Big Bad Bill's injured arm, he plants both feet firmly against the steel post and tries to wrench his arm out of the socket by hanging there! The audience boos as Bill shouts out in agony)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Joes rolls Big Bad Bill out onto the apron, and positions his arm so that it's hanging off the apron. He grabs a chair, runs and full force smashes it into Triple B's elbow!!
Phil Blauer: It seems Lucifer is learning how to break people’s arms from Tamara Sanchez these days. What a biter.
(Jones walks up and down the ring arena berating the venemous fans while Big Bad Bill is writhing in pain on the apron. Jones bashes him in the face with the chair for good measure)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Jones goes for a thumb to the eye, but Bill swats his hand away and smacks him in the nose on the return. Big Bad Bill scoops him up with one arm and snow plows him on The Cox Arena floor!!
(The crowd comes alive and Bill winces, clutching his arm to his side. He rolls Lucifer Jones into the ring)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Bill backs Jones into the corner and drives his shoulder into his stomach. He uses the ropes to drive a second shoulderblock into him. Jones starts whacking Bill about the head & back with some forearms, then Lucifer swings him into the corner. Jones laying a beatdown on Bill, with hard stiff punches!
(The crowd boos, as Jones outbrawls the shooter Big Bad Bill while he’s trapped in the corner. Jones screams “How you like this, Blue Bollocks Bill??” and slaps him across the face. Bill puts his hand to his face, and turns red with anger)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones spits in Big Bad Bill’s face! Bill charges him but Lucifer Jones flapjacks BBB up into the air, and catches him on the way down with a wakigatame armbar!!
(The Cox Arena continues to boo, as Jones pulls up on Bill’s injured arm! Bill cries out in pain, and Jones yanks up on it some more. Ron Reid checks in but Big Bad Bill waves him off)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Bill uses that superior height to reach out and grab the ropes, forcing Jones to break the wakigatame. Bill gets up shaking his arm. Jones goes for a European uppercut, but Triple B grabs his wrist and forearm and then tosses him to the ground.
(Big Bad Bill karate chops Lucifer Jones with his good arm across the chest. He rips into Jones’ pectorals with three more karate chops. He hooks him up, ties up their legs and drops back into a russian leg sweep! He rolls over into a pinning position, and the audience applauds)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Lucifer Jones kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Both men up to a vertical base, Jones ducks under a tornado punch, and counters with a snap backdrop driver!!
(Big Bad Bill gets up to his hands and knees, and Jones is already coming off the ropes with a soccer kick to his arm! Bill rolls around, clutching his arm. Lucifer Jones butterflies Bill’s arms and lifts him up onto his shoulder in a canadian backbreaker)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones drops him down into a Death Driver!! He covers Bill.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Jones goes for Bill’s arm, but Bill side-steps him and follows through by tossing Jones to the mat! He punches Jones in the face with his good arm and then in the neck with his bad one. Bill punches him in the face a few more times, till he nails him with a knockout palm thrust upside his chin with that hurt but still dangeous left arm!
(The crowd cheers Big Bad Bill’s KOing of The White Chapel Horror. Bill pulls him up by the hair and irish whips him, but Jones reverses it and sends Bill into the ropes)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones tiltawhirls Bill onto his shoulder into a ligerbomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill gets his shoulder up)
(Big Bad Bill clutches his shoulder, and rolls around his arm, trying to shake it off. Lucifer Jones pulls him up by the hair and sizes him up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones slugs Bill right in the nose and then lifts him up into an atomic drop. He sits him up on the top turnbuckle, facing the audience. He rolls out onto the apron, runs and jumps onto the second rope, springboarding off and catching Big Bad Bill with a german suplex, crashing him right into Ron DeLa O's chair!!
(Crowd gives a huge monster pop, as Bill lies in a heap, on top of timekeeper Ron De La O. Jones pushes Ron DeLa O, prompting a 'Fuck YOOOOOUUUUUU, MAN!")
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones grabs the bell hammer, and cracks Big Bad Bill in the elbow with it! He grabs a beer bottle out of a ringside fan’s hand, and finishes the rest of it!
Phil Blauer: Never not a good time to drink.
(But Big Bad Bill anticipates the move, so Jones feints like he's going to bash it over BBB's head. Big Bad Bill goes to block it with his forearm but Lucifer Jones kicks him in the balls! The fans boo as Jones spits the beer out into Bill’s face)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones bashes that glass beer bottle over his face!! Blood flows freely from the cuts on his face from the shattered glass! While he's down, Jones stands over Big Bad Bill and pulls his arm up in a standing wristlock.
(The crowd boos, while Jones bleeds profusely. Lucifer takes a shard of glass and starts to dig it into Big Bad Bill's armpit! Bill kicks his feet into the The Cox Arena floor in pain)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill judo tosses Jones into the railing! Bill ducks his head under the ring curtain and pulls out a flourescent light bulb.
(Bill holds the flourescent light bulb up and the San Diego crowd pops. Bill bashes Jones over the head with it and little shards of glass are everywhere)
former internet prowrestling.com reporter Matt Boone: My eye!!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones now just as bloody as his opponent. Big Bad Bill sets up a table on The Cox Arena floor. He pulls Jones up onto the apron. He one armed hiptosses him off the apron, through the table on the floor!!
(The San Diego crowd cheers wildly! Jones barely moves amid the table rubble. Big Bad Bill grabs a chair and tosses it into Lucifer’s face! The chair bounces off his head with a sickening crack)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill rolls him into the ring and applies an inverted indian deathlock! Blood runs down both men’s faces, making a macabre sight for the wrestling magazine photographers.
(Ron Reid checks in to see if he submits but Jones refuses. Bill sits up to his knees and clamps down on Jones twisted legs. Bill grabs a handful of hair on the top of Jones’ head and then punches his cuts over & over to make them bleed more)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones is finally able to crawl over to the ropes and grab hold of one to break the inverted indian deathlock. Big Bad Bill scoops him up, but Lucifer Jones inside cradles him on the way down! He uses his foot on the ropes for leverage!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Ron Reid catches Lucifer Jones using the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones grabs his legs and drops him back into a wheelbarrow german suplex!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A bloody Lucifer Jones pulls Bill's arm out, and then climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He comes off with a leg drop smashing his arm!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones irish whips him into the ropes and goes for a huracanrana, but Bill catches his legs and drops his back onto the top rope and bounces him up into a slingshot powerbomb!! He applies a kataha-jime!
(The crowd cheers as Jones waves his arms wildly, desperate for escape. Blood runs down Jones' face, as his eyes bug out from lack of oxygen. Bill uses those powerful legs to squeeze whatever air is left in his lungs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill turns the kataha-jime into a full nelson. He links his fingers together and pushes down on the back of Jones' neck. Jones waits for an opportune time and tosses the back of his head into Bill's face. He atomic drops Bill's groin on to the top rope!
(The Cox Arena roars boos as Bill is perched on the top rope. Lucifer Jones full nelsons him and drops him backward into a dragon suplex)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones hooks him up in a cradle and drills him headfirst into a fisherman's buster!!
(He rolls him over into a butterfly lock. Bill bleeds a large pool of blood underneath his face. Jones tries to lift Bill's hurt arm up into an uncomfortable angle)
Phil Blauer: Is it me? Or have we seen this move in nearly every match the past couple months.
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, it's this year's indian deathlock. Jones releases his arms, and applies a faceripper camel clutch. Jones shredding his forehead with those razor sharp nails.
Phil Blauer: Yeah, I was gonna say something to him about those.
Yolanda Ando: Both these guys look gross. Someone needs to get in there with a face cloth.
(Lucifer pulls back on Bill's face, scratching at those cuts from the glass bottle. He releases him and irish whips him into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill comes back with a corkscrew spear he calls Unfettered Might!
(Jones leans against the bottom rope, bleeding. Big Bad Bill somersaults into a dropkick, pushing him through the ropes to the floor. Big Bad Bill grabs another one of those flourescent tubes and breaks one over his head, katana style)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ugh, that broken glass making a horror show out of Lucifer Jones. Bill grinds that glass into his face & forehead! But Lucifer hits him low!
(Lucifer Jones kips up right in front of Big Bad Bill and catches him in a superfast snap DDT on The Cox Arena concrete!! Bill falls limply to his side. Lucifer Jones pulls out a spool of barbed wire from under the ring, and bashes Big Bad Bill in the head with it)
Phil Blauer: Big Bad Bill has a spool of barbed wire under there! When are we gonna start checking under that ring?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones wraps barbed wire around Big Bad Bill's hurt arm, pulls the arm behind Bill's back in like a chicken wing, then wraps the rest of the barbed wire around BBB's body and neck, effectively tying up Big Bad Bill and trapping his arm!!
Phil Blauer: This has become one of the bloodiest matches of 2005 since Trish vs. Lita when they were both on the rag!
(The San Diego crowd boos as Lucifer Jones lays the boots to that arm, kicking the barbed wire into his flesh. Big Bad Bill shrieks in agony, and suddenly Vagabond runs down to the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones rolls him into the ring, and as Big Bad Bill is laying on the ground in extreme pain, Jones gives him a wheelbarrow german suplex, dropping him right onto that chicken winged arm!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr-(Big Bad Bill gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond has a pair of pliers and is cutting some of it away so that Big Bad Bill can see, and free himself. You see? That's sweet. I wonder if Veronica would cut away barbed wire from my face? I wonder what she's wearing right now?
(She rolls a flourescent lightbulb into the ring, and Bill gets to his feet. He tries to pull off the barbed wire but it's stuck on his arm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill bodyslams Lucifer Jones onto that lightbulb!! He covers him.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Lucifer Jones kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill irish whips him into the ropes but Jones hops on to the middle of the second rope and backflips into a tornado DDT!!
(Lucifer Jones irish whips Bill into the ropes and lifts him up into a flapjack into an emerald frosion!! Both men lie next to one another, passed out from exhaustion)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones hit The Dog's Bollocks but has lost too much blood to capitalize!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...
Referee Ron Reid: 2...
(Vagabond pounding on the apron, joining the fans trying to wake Big Bad Bill up, but he doesn't move. The barbed wire still hangs around his arm)
Referee Ron Reid: 3...
Referee Ron Reid: 4...
Guillermo O'Bannon: These two men have sliced each other with glass, barbed wire, and Jones even made Bill have to go get his chick involved!
Referee Ron Reid: 5...
Guillermo O'Bannon: "The Punisher" Dan Stein's manager, Domino coming out to ringside with The Peacekeeper in her hand!
Referee Ron Reid: 6...
(The security guards block off the ring, and escort her to the back. Lucifer Jones sneers back at her, and pulls himself up along the ropes. Big Bad Bill still lies dead still)
Referee Ron Reid: 7...
Referee Ron Reid: 8...
Referee Ron Reid: 9...
(Lucifer Jones finally gets to his feet, and the audience boos. But "The Punisher" Dan Stein suddenly emerges from the audience)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones pulls Big Bad Bill up and sets him up for The Yankee Cracker...but Dan Stein is in the ring with the timekeeper's bell! He smashes Jones in the face with it!! Domino was just a distraction!
Phil Blauer: That's true more often then not.
(The San Diego crowd leaps to their feet, and Dan Stein climbs to the top turnbuckle with the ring bell in his hands. He comes off with the top and jams it into Lucifer Jones' throat!! The fans are deafening as Lucifer Jones flops around the ring, clutching his neck. Security converge on The Punisher, dragging him to the locker room as Stein points back at Lucifer Jones)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Security now helping The Punisher leave the ring, and Big Bad Bill double underhook DDTs Lucifer Jones!! He rolls Jones over and makes a cover.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Lucifer Jones gets his foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill irish whips Jones into the ropes and kicks him in the guts. He drops Jones bloody face into the canvas with an x factor!
(Big Bad Bill climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Jones gets to his feet and shakes the ropes, tripping Bill. He climbs to the second rope and hooks him up for a russian legsweep)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill blocks an Air Raid and turns it into a bulldog off the top rope!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The fans leap to their feet and cheer, as "Headless Children" by WASP plays. Vagabond runs into the ring, and helps a bloody, barbed wire wrapped Big Bad Bill to his feet)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 15 minutes 18 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, ADVANCING TO THE HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT FINALS...BIG BAD BILL!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill has persevered in this extreme battle and now is the man to be for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament.
Phil Blauer: Once Syberus and Cyrus Williams get past one another they have one of the most studious and cerebral wrestlers on the West Coast in Big Bad Bill on their hands.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Whatever, I just like seeing those two kids, Vagabond & Triple B get together. They're a cute couple, don't you think?
Phil Blauer: Your more disgusting than anything that just happened in that ring the past 15 minutes.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Now fans we have the semi-finals of the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament. Cyrus Williams has gone through “Tigerheart” Rally Jackson & “Your Canadian Hero” Nick Knight to get back here to The Cox Arena.
Phil Blauer: The same arena he famously walked out of to vacate this very title.
Guillermo O’Bannon: The man was scared. Nobody fucks with the Schmutzhausens and lives to talk about it. Light Heavyweight Champion Syberus defeated “The Extremist” Tony Thunder in the very first match in the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament, then pinned “The Punisher” Dan Stein in a thrilling match in New Mexico. Now here he is in San Diego, wrestling two time Hardkore World Champion Cyrus Williams.
[The arena lights cut out completely. Over the PA comes a chant from the Muhammed Ali movie accompanied by a war drum beat.]
[Intelligent white lights bounce along to the chant itself. As this happens, six young men dressed in in black t-shirts and grey athletic pants walk into the arena and roll a red carpet down the aisle, all the way to the ring.]
#THE CHAMP IS HERE
#THE CHAMP IS HERE
#THE CHAMP IS HERE
#THE CHAMP IS HERE.
[The chant stops completely, as do the intelligent lights. The carpet rollers line the aisles as "Personal Jesus" by Depeche Mode begins to play.]
#REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH
[Meanwhile Backstage... ]
Bludd: C'mon Mannetti, you've been in the toilet twenty minutes... Its time to roll.
No response.
Bludd: Cyrus's gonna whoop your ass if you dont get out there... on the hizzle even.
Phil Blauer: He better not be using my office, I do my best thinking there.
Guillermo O'Bannon: That reminds me, can I get my copy of Maxim back? I still haven't read it.
Phil Blauer: Stop sweatin me, I'm only going two pages at a time.
[Bludd runs to catch up to the entourage, who begin making their way out to the ring. Out of the curtain first are the cornermen, Jinn Blaze, Michael Maxwell, Bludd, Tatsuya Arakawa, and Joe Charleston, clad in grey and black velour sweatsuits with "REVIVE STRONG STYLE" written on the back. Blaze, Bludd, and Charleston all carry large towels while Arakawa & Maxwell sport a can of cold spray and a bucket of ice respectively. They begin to make their way down the aisle, past the carpet rollers.]
#Your own personal Jesus
#Someone to hear your prayers
#Someone who cares
#Your own personal Jesus
#Someone to hear your prayers
#Someone who's there
[Backstage, Mannetti is seen bursting through the bathroom door and heading toward the ramp, with toilet paper still stuck to his shoe.]
[Next comes Tom Lux, power broker and agent, dressed in a sharp suit. Black coat, red shirt, black tie. Suddenly, a large shower of grey pyros come down from the ceiling as the first verse begins.]
#Feeling unknown when you're all alone
#Flesh and bone by the telephone
#Pick up the receiver I'll make you a believer
#Take second best, put me to the test
#Things on your chest you need to confess
#I will deliver, you know I'm a forgiver
[Mannetti hits the hallway at a frantic pace, dropping his Stuff magazine in the process, just trying to catch up to the entourage.
Finally, Cyrus Williams steps out into the arena, through the pyros. He wears a long black and grey ring robe with a hood, which he flips up once he's completely out in the arena.]
#REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH
#REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH
[Trash begins to get hurled at Cyrus as he walks down the aisle, his cocky smile never fading from his face]
Guillermo O'Bannon: Here comes Cyrus Williams, with still one of the longest ring entrances this side of Sand...
[Manetti is just breaking the curtain when a six foot three, three hundred pound man is seen screaming and tossing security members around. This guy is mammoth. He has messy black hair that extends about half way down his neck, ie: a mullet.]
Phil Blauer: Guillermo, what's your dad doing here?
[He's garbed in a white button down shirt thats not tucked in and lays on top of his belly, he's got faded blue jeans on, and black cowboy boots, one of which is stomping a larger member of Hardkore security in the eye socket. Three other members of security are trying to restrain him, but each get tossed into the sidewalls as the monster's face shows true rage, but somehow through the rage he's looking like he really enjoys what hes doing, and he's heading straight for the unexpecting Paul Mannetti.]
#Your own personal Jesus
#Someone to hear your prayers
#Someone who cares
#Your own personal Jesus
#Someone to hear your prayers
#Someone who's there
[Cyrus makes it to the ring as the song breaks down. He climbs the ring steps as he steps in, with Lux, Commander Cody, and the cornermen following him. When he enters the ring, Cyrus goes to the center of the ring and does a victory pose, with his entourage doing it's best to deflect the garbage being pelted at him.]
#REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams personal ring announcer was just clotheslined out of his Bruno Maglis!
[Tom Lux turns and looks for Mannetti, who just fell out onto the entrance ramp from the force of the lariot. Cyrus points and the six young men dressed in in black t-shirts and grey athletic pants begin racing up the aisle as the mulleted man begins dragging Mannetti backstage by one leg]
Phil Blauer: Looks like I gotta go help those guys beat up that southerner.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil, when did you become part of Cyrus' entourage??
Phil Blauer: What's an entourage? I just like kicking helpless southerners.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus begins feverously motioning to Lux, who grabs Jinn Blaze, Michael Maxwell, Bludd, Tatsuya Arakawa, and Joe Charleston and races up behind the carpet rollers.
[Cyrus shakes his head and after an uncomfortable amount of time, finally motions for "Wild" Bill Kasal to get in the ring.]
"Wild" Bill Kasal: ... Cyrus Williams? err... <cough> CYRUS WILLIAMS!!!
(Cyrus groans. The audience boos and then hear “This Celluloid Dream” by AFI. They applaud as Syberus walks out with the Hardkore World Light Heavyweight title strapped around his waist. One San Diego fan holds up a sign that has Thomas Haven & Incredible Y crossed out and then reads “Hardkore World Heavyweight & Light Heavyweight Champion”)
Phil Blauer: (sits back down) Ah, forget it. If I gotta run for it, then the stompin just ain't worth it.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus has won the World titles in HPWA & UCW, but never a title with this sort of lineage going back to 1989. The wrestling fan inside him must be honored.
Phil Blauer: It’s probably also buying Cena’s CD and posting about HHH sucking.
Yolanda Ando: Syberus wearing some dark blue vinyl-look shorts with a circle of yellow stars on the back depicting the European Union. Complimenting that are some black elbow and knee Pads. His hands are covered in white wrist and hand tape. Completing the get-up are black boots with white kickpads.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “And his opponent, from The Continent of Europe; Standing 6 feet even; Weighing 230 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE WORLD LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...SYBERUS!!!”
(The Cox Arena gives him a round of applause. Mike Peters signals for the bell, and shoos Cyrus’ cornermen out of the ring. Syberus rushes Cyrus in his corner and knees him in the stomach)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus starts this match off with a knee to the stomach that sends Williams to his knees. Syberus winds back and cracks him in the back of the head with a stiff kick. He headlocks Cyrus.
(The fans clap as Syberus grinds his arm into Cyrus’ temple. Syb then switches it up into a hammerlock. Peters checks in and Syberus wrenches up on his chicken winged arm)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus applies an armbar. He sticks his knee into Cyrus’ back and pulls back with all his might. Cyrus pops Syberus in the face with a right hand!
(Cyrus gets to his feet and cracks him in the jaw again with a stiff jab. Cyrus grabs Syberus by the hair and drags his face along the canvas)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cyrus drops a knee on to the top of Syberus’ head! Again! One more Hatefuck knee! Cyrus grabs Syberus’ arm and rolls him over with his leg, wrapping his arm in a chicken wing around Cyrus’ leg. Uma plata with a cross face!!
(Mike Peters checks in to see Syberus wants to submit. Cyrus pulls up on his head, and gives his hammerlocked arm another wrap around his leg. Syberus shouts out in pain, but tries to resist the increasing urge to tap)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus rakes Cyrus’ eyes and rolls out of the uma plata. He gets to his feet and slaps Cyrus in the face!
(The Cox Arena cheers and Cyrus checks his mouth for blood. His face turns red, and he goes for Syberus’ throat. Syberus catches him facefirst in a flapjack)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus capitalizes with some forearm smashes along the small of Cyrus’ back & shoulders. He stands him up with an uppercut! Cyrus answers with a european uppercut of his own.
(Cyrus tries to follow it with a kick, but Syberus catches his foot. Cyrus smacks him upside the head with an enzuigiri! That knocks him to one knee. Cyrus backs up and then cracks him with a shining wizard! Syberus wobbles on his knees, Cyrus backs up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cyrus Williams whacks him with a yakuza kick! Cyrus backs up again, and finally charges at Syberus and rolling koppo kicks him in the face!
(The crowd boos and Cyrus kips up, and spits on his fallen opponent. Cyrus grabs Syberus’ arm and applies a jujigatame. The spit runs down Syberus’ face as Cyrus pulls up on his armbar)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Both men going to work on the arm early. Cyrus stands up a little to put pressure on his arm. Cyrus sits on Syberus’ back, full nelsons his arms and sits back into a butterfly lock! Cyrus plants his feet and rocks back on the Englishman’s head & arms.
(The fans boo Syberus’ predictament. Cyrus finally releases the butterfly and pulls him up into a suplex. Syberus floats over behind his back and runs him into the ropes with a bridging backroll press)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus Willliams gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus irish whips Cyrus into the ropes and powerslams him!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus Williams kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus picks him up and delivers a textbook suplex. He runs into the ropes and knocks Cyrus down with a clothesline. He bounces off the ropes and hits him with a second clothesline, sending him down to one knee. Cyrus ducks a third clothesline and drops him on his Briton noggin with a backdrop driver!!
(Crowd boos, as Syberus flops over on to his stomach. Cyrus climbs up to the top rope. He hops off with both feet to Syberus' knee! Syberus sits up, clutching his knee and leg, rolling around the mat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams applies a single leg boston crab. He cranks back on Syberus' leg as hard as humanly possible, trying to take out the leg he just stomped on with both feet from the top rope. He sticks his boot on the back of Syberus' head and stands on it.
(Mike Peters checks in to see if he submits, Syberus refuses so Cyrus stands on his neck harder. Syberus grabs hold of Cyrus' foot and trips him out into an ankle lock, into a dragon sleeper. The audience applauds and Cyrus squeezes his head like a vice)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus pulls back on Williams' head, as Cyrus looking to escape. He pulls him up to his feet and drops Cyrus with a reverse DDT!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus Williams kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus pulls him up into a half nelson, ties up their legs and pitches him forward onto his face! Syberus waistlocks him, but Cyrus back elbows him before the german suplex. He scoops him up and drops him headfirst in a northern lights bomb!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Syberus gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus applies a triangle choke to Syberus' throat. Syberus reaches out for the ropes, but no one's that tall. Cyrus clamping down on his windpipe and squeezing the very English life out of him.
Phil Blauer: You people don't get over things very easily do you? Look, England gave back half of that swampy miserable island of yours. That's more than Scotland has.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus rolls Cyrus onto his shoulders and pins them to the mat.
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus Williams releases the triangle choke)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams dumps Syberus on his head with a wristclutch exploder! Cyrus wraps Syberus' legs up into an indian deathlock.
Phil Blauer: Remember 2003, when everyone did that move? It was hot in 83 then came back twenty years later only to fade away again.
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's how they do it. Now if only they'd realize that the neckbreaker and all it's variations are played out.
Phil Blauer: Still writing letters?
Guillermo O'Bannon: You know it. Speaking of which, what happened to that? Remember when everyone's finisher was initials? The STF, the SSD, the TKO, The 3D...
Phil Blauer: The MIROFA.
Guillermo O'Bannon: What's that?
Phil Blauer: John Heidenriech's move. The MIROFA, Move I Ripped Off From Abyss.
(Cyrus faces Syberus forward and grabs his arms. He raises his boot and stomps the back of his head over & over! The San Diego crowd gets up in arms about this. Cyrus sneers at them and pulls him up to his feet. He irish whips him into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus ducks under a roundhouse kick from Cyrus, and hits a neckbreaker! The crowd back on his side, and he applies an abdominal stretch. He sticks his foot and pulls back on his arm, as Cyrus cries out in pain.
(Williams tries to hiptoss out of it, but Syberus kidney punches and cinches the abdominal stretch in even harder. Syberus then rolls him onto the mat into an on-the-mat version)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Let the Tony Thunders and the Ayame Tokugawas of the World fly around. Syberus' pound & ground style has been what has made him so popular here on the West Coast. Syberus rolls it into a cradle!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus Williams gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus lifts him up into a hanging suplex, then drops his head into a brainbuster!! Syberus neglects to go for the pin, and instead makes a rare trip to the top turnbuckle. Cyrus rolls out of the way of a flying elbow!!
(Cyrus scoops Syberus up on his shoulder, then drops down to his knees with a tombstone piledriver! He holds Syberus down by his collarbone)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Syberus gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus struggles up to his knees and Cyrus comes off the ropes with a penalty kick to the chest!
Phil Blauer: You know, if it weren't for a little "be" these guys would have the same name. That's something to think about.
Matt Boone: Very deep, sir.
Guillermo O'Bannon: No it isn't. Cyrus full nelsons him, and dragon suplexes him!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Syberus rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus runs into the ropes, but Syberus ducks under a burning lariot, Cyrus comes back at him but Syberus backdrops him. Syberus hits the ropes and spears him!
(The Cox Arena is really starting to get into it. Syberus front facelocks him and sits down on his legs. Cyrus cries out with muffled screams, as Haven bends him forward, squeezing his head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus with a seated front dragon sleeper, Mike Peters there and ready in case Cyrus wants to give this shot at becoming the first ever three time consecutive Hardkore World Champion a pass.
(Cyrus twists out of it and gets to his feet, with the front facelock applied. Cyrus backdrops out of it, but Syberus turns it into a crucifix cradle)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Cyrus Williams slips his arms out of Syberus' legs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Both men back up to a vertical base, and Syberus takes a swing at him. Cyrus ducks under him and release german suplexes him!!
(Syberus staggers up, and charges Cyrus but Cyrus is waiting for him with high roundhouse kick! He follows it up with a wind up knee to his face. Williams applies a cobra clutch)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The F'n Vyrus spins him round & round, then down into a Dangerous Cobra Driver while still maintaining the cobra clutch!! He covers him!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Syberus gets his foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus irish whips Syberus into the ropes, but Syberus comes back with a dropkick to the groin! Syberus drops him with a pumphandle slam! He waistlocks Cyrus and drops him back into a northern lights suplex!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Cyrus Williams gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus measures Williams and drops him with a Highlight Cutter!!
(Syberus picks Cyrus up into a single underhook position. But before he can hit The Pure Confidence DDT, Cyrus rolls it over into an inverted facelock. He lifts him up into an inverted suplex but drops him into a ace crusher)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus Williams hits The Blackout!!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
(The crowd boos, and "Personal Jesus" by Marilyn Manson plays through The Cox Arena. His massive entourage rushes the ring, throwing towels over his head and wet sponges to cool him off)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 15 minutes 56 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH; ADVANCING TO THE FINALS...CYRUS WILLIAMS!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cyrus now goes back home to Palm Springs to wrestle Big Bad Bill in the finals for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Title Tournament! But he may have to do it without his personal ring announcer, Paul Mannetti who got Lillian Garcia'd out of the building by some deranged southerner.
Phil Blauer: Deranged southerner is kind of redundant.
Guillermo O'Bannon: One wonders if he'll be able to keep his mind on Big Bad Bill without his friend, Manetti. This was the first match he's wrestled since his return without him.
Phil Blauer: And yet somehow he persevered.
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Jun 01, 2005#20
[The scene goes back to a shot of Paul Mannetti, while the Texas Trash Compactor begins waking him up by kicking him in the face.]
Paul Mannetti: What the Hell do you want with me... and why do you smell so badly?
Jonnie Lee Harley: Shudup!! Ah'll faight yer face in Jew boy!
[Harley for the first time all night, realizes theres a camera pointed at him as he spits a tabacco wad at Mannetti. He rubs a hand through his greasy hair and grins a chew stained smile.]
Harley: Whuts this Cops? Err Jerry Springer cam? YEEEEEEE HAAAAW Hello Jessifer! Ah'm on Telievision... I'da lahkta thank Skoal fer sponserin mah teeth, an' Jessifer fer bein' mah wahf.
Paul Mannetti: Someone... please... kill me now.
[From off screen walks Cobryn.]
Cobryn: Not yet Mannetti... We've got a show to put on tonight. Tonights the night the fans start recognizing the talents of Cobryn. Tonight, with your help Mannetti... they're gonna scream my name.
Brain and Ali: COBRYN! COBRYN! COBRYN! COBRYN!!!!
[And the other side of the room...]
Harley: COBURN!! COBURN!!!
Cobryn: Just like that.
[Cobryn scratches his chin and sets his foot on Mannetti's chest. He adjusts it four or five times until he's finally comfortable. When he's ready... he looks back to the camera.]
Cobryn: Why? Why is the question Cobryn has determined that everyone is asking themselves right now. Why has Cobryn tactfully woo'ed Mannetti from that freak Cyrus Williams and convinced him to join Cobryn?
Brain: Yeah... why did we do that?
Cobryn: You know... Cobryn has been thinking about things lately. Especially since the hundreds of thousands remembered my win against Tripps on Memorial Day, and the float I was on in the UWA Memorial parade ran over Dan Fouts, who was playing an Indian for the much smaller Rockin' Rick Owens float.
For years people have grown to despise me. Despise everything I've stood for... and cheer like "BX" when O.J. got an innocent verdict when anyone... anyone got an upperhand on Cobryn.
For what? Why do these people jeer me?
Why, when all Cobryn does is bring thirty minutes of happiness to their otherwise completely pathetic and unimportant lives?
[Cobryn shakes his head in honest bewilderment.]
Cobryn: Meanwhile they'll cheer Death Gojira, they'll cheer Kilroy Evans and Andrew Karnage, They'll cheer for BBB... They'll throw lunch at Cyrus Williams when he enters the ring... but for Cobryn? Nothing but undeserved hate and resentment.
[Cobryn helps Mannetti up from the ground.]
Cobryn: Cobryn needs a new PR man, and you've just passed your first interview Mannetti. You're the man who's going to turn this all around for me. Excellent job swerving Cyrus by staying in the bathroom too long. Brilliant even.
Mannetti: What the Hell are you talking about you incredible asshole?
[Harley with a boot to Mannetti's stomach.]
Cobryn: Tonight, you'll introduce Cobryn to the world and make them realize how wrong they all were for all these years.
You'll make them realize that Cobryn is what they all want. They want a winner. They want a Champion... they want to cheer me because each and everyone of them would trade their first born just to step in Cobryn's shoes for five minutes.
[Mannetti looks completely confused now.]
Cobryn, eyeing the camera now: Tonight... You'll all love me, because I've decided thats whats best for you... And thats about that.
[Cobryn turns toward Mannetti.]
Cobryn: Mannetti... get on an intro for Cobryn... I must go prepare for the showering of love I shall recieve from the fans in Denver tonight.
[Cobryn flashes a smile at the camera.]
Cobryn: Who loves you Denver? Cobryn loves you... and from now on, Cobryn has decided that you'll love him back.
I'm John Elway without the horse teeth and just think... you didnt have to wait 14 years for a Championship.
(The ring crew puts the finishing touches on Tony Thunder’s skateboard ramp in front of the ring. The Cox Arena murmurs in boredom, as the majority of them wander back to their seats after the intermission)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Let me take you back to Palm Springs...
Phil Blauer: If it’s all the same Guillermo, I’d rather not. I sort of have a warrant or six there. Tell you what, we’ll handle it like my custody visits with my kid. I’ll meet you at the county line.
Guillermo O’Bannon: It was last October, when Tony Thunder & The Shootfighter last tussled in their first one on one match.
(Fade back to the match. A graphic is supered over it that reads “October 6th, 2004- Hardkore Hall. Tony Thunder pulls Shootfighter's head into his legs and drops him on his neck with a tigerbomb with no cradle. Tony Thunder climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tony Thunder comes from out of the sky with a split legged leg drop!!
-fade-
Guillermo O'Bannon: Thunder shoots Shooty into the ropes and comes back with a huracanrana but Shootfighter catches him and drops him over the ropes!!
-fade-
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter belly to belly suplexes Tony Thunder and his 6'5 frame liquifies the table!!
-fade-
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter nails another muy thai kick right in his chest that drops him to the mat. The Shootfighter steps through his legs and then turns him over into a sharpshooter he calls The Shootcrab!!
(Judge Death celebrates around the ringside area and The Shootfighter stands tall and leans back, liontamer style)
-fade-
(Crowd is on their feet, while Tony Thunder hobbles up to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tony Thunder with a breathtaking double somersault 900 splash!!
-fade-
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter nails a russian sickle, flooring The Extremist! He wraps Tony Thunder's hurt leg up into a reverse indian deathlock! The Shootfighter Leglock!!
(Thunder cries out in agony, clutching his right knee. Shootfighter sits up to heighten the excruciating pain)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Thunder does a push-up but Shootfighter sits up higher...Thunder taps!!!
(The theme to Mortal Kombat plays as Palm Springs showers The Thai Giant with boos & venom. The Shootfighter releases The Shootfighter Leglock, and Tony Thunder rolls over holding his knee. The shot fades back to The Cox Arena. “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC plays and the San Diego fans go nuts. Laser rays of blue and red shower the ramp up to the ring)
Guillermo O’Bannon: But that was then and this is now. The Shootfighter worked down Tony Thunder’s knee until he tore the MCL, and he was forced to tap out to The Shootfighter Leglock. Thunder wasn’t the same until the last few months, winning the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team titles with his partners The Black Experience.
Phil Blauer: He won those titles off of The Shootfighter, “God’s Gift” Jeremiah Vastrix, and Tarrasque in a scaffold match. Better known as, “Phil’s Phriday”.
(“The Extremist” Tony Thunder skateboards out to the ring with Bruno walking behind him. The San Diego crowd gives a monster pop for the California natives. Bruno slaps as many fans hands’ as he can. They try and touch the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Title belt slung over his shoulder. Tony Thunder skates up the prearranged half-pipe and lands in the ring)
Yolanda Ando: Tony Thunder wears a black shirt with “X-Games” on the front and “Tony Thunder Rulz, DUDE!” on the back. He wears the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Title belt strapped around his waist with black shorts underneath. He also wears blue elbow and knee pads.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “The following contest is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and is for the HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPIONSHIP! Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by Bruno; From Venice Beach, California; Standing at 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 250 pounds; He is One Third of the Current HARDKORE WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...’THE EXTREMIST’ TONY THUNDER!!!”
(Thunder slings his title belt over his shoulder, then stands on the second turnbuckle to soak in that San Diego pop. Then “The Theme from Mortal Kombat” by The Immortals plays and Judge Death leads The Shootfighter down to the ring. Blak Lung follows behind them, glaring at the audience. The fans boo the three of them. Judge Death carries the stainless steel singapore cane over his shoulder and points Shootfighter to the ring with it)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Shootfighter saw that Tony Thunder brought his best friend, Bruno down to the ring and decided to have some back up of his own. The Shadows of the Night are representing.
Phil Blauer: The Shootfighter saw that Tony Thunder is bringing his black guy, so he’s bringing his. Don’t start none, won’t be none.
Guillermo O’Bannon: It’s just that Bruno is seven feet tall and Blak Lung isn’t even 190 pounds.
Phil Blauer: Rusty wire hangers are quite an equalizer. Besides like it says on my refrigerator magnet; “It’s not the size of the black guy in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the black guy.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: I remember they blurred it out on MTV’s Cribs. Both The Shootfighter & Tony Thunder fell from 25 feet in the air in Albuquerque. As we saw earlier tonight in Tarrasque’s match, that isn’t real condusive to winning your next match. We’ll see who can bounce back from one of wrestling’s worst bumps.
Yolanda Ando: The Shootfighter wears knee length black wrestling tights, black wrestling boots, and sharp studded forearm pads. His black robe with a red dragon on the back is held together with his Hardkore West Coast Championship title belt.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by Blak Lung and his manager, Judge Death; From Bangkok, Thailand; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds; He is The HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION...THE SHOOTFIGHTER!!!”
(The fans boo The Shootfighter. He folds his arms, staring into Tony Thunder’s eyes, while Blak Lung unstraps his title belt and Judge Death pulls his black robe off. Bruno massages a nervous Thunder’s shoulders, giving him last minute instructions. Peters signals for the bell)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Shootfighter rushes Tony Thunder, but The Extremist belly to belly suplexes him! He irish whips Thunder into the ropes and drives him into the mat with a spinebuster!
(The Cox Arena applauds. Tony Thunder applies a sleeper on the mat. He sticks his knee in Shootfighter’s back and squeezes his jaw. Judge Death shouts out terse instructions)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The West Coast Champion gets up to his feet and drops down to his knees to break the sleeper with a jawbreaker. The Shootfighter knife edge chops him as he staggers around. Again!
(The Shootfighter backs him into a corner and blasts him with another knife edge chop to the throat. He jabs him with a dragon claw strike to his lungs, then another to his kidneys)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Shootfighter has Thunder trapped in the corner, and is taking the advantage with a dragon claw strike to his heart. He hits him in the ribcage, and then again to the kidneys. He backs up and charges him but The Extremist is ready for him with The Thunder Kick upside his head!!
(The San Diego fans cheer Tony Thunder as he climbs up to the top rope. He flips forward into a swanton bomb!! The crowd applaud even louder as Mike Peters slides into position)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(The Shootfighter gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tony Thunder belly to back suplexes him. Thunder pulls his head into his legs and lifts him up into a powerbomb, but the West Coast Champion rolls up and muy thai punches him in the nose!
(The Shootfighter lands on his feet, and then hits him with a second muy thai punch to the face. He hits Thunder under the armpit with a muy thai kick)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Shootfighter hits Tony Thunder in the kidney with a muy thai kick. He hit hooks him up and snap suplexes The Extremist. He twists his legs until their both up into the same position and he gives him a second snap suplex.
(The Shootfighter rolls his legs until he’s up for a third and final suplex. He lifts Thunder up onto his shoulders into a human torture rack. He spins him around & around in the backbreaker until Thunder reverses it into a crucifix cradle)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(The Shootfighter gets his arms loose)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tony Thunder t-bone suplexes The Shootfighter on to his head! He climbs up to the second turnbuckle, his legs hit the top rope and he backflips into a split legged moonsault!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The crowd really supporting their fellow Californian here.
Phil Blauer: Why not? Arnold’s ruining all their children’s futures! They need one another.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tony Thunder runs into the ropes and tumbles into a rolling thunder legdrop!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(The Shootfighter gets his foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tony Thunder climbs to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a moonsault, but Shootfighter drives his knees up into his stomach!! Shootfighter cracks Thunder in the chest with a stiff punch, and another.
Phil Blauer: He zeroes in on where his knees hit Thunder in the ribs and punches him over & over. He runs into the ropes and drops him to the mat with a russian sickle with that studded forearm pad!
(The Shootfighter applies a claw to his aching ribs and another to his face to keep him from moving. Thunder grimaces in pain, and Bruno slaps the apron over & over to get the audience clapping. The Cox Arena is clapping in unison in support of Thunder)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Shootfighter squeezing the area of Thunder’s chest & ribs that he’s been battering with kicks, chops, punches, and knees these past six minutes. He pulls him up into a waistlock, then german suplexes him!
(Shootfighter rolls up into a second and then third rolling german suplex!! When he releases him on the fourth, but Thunder flips onto his feet)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Thunder returns the favor with a german suplex of his own!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(The Shootfighter rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Shootfighter is first to his feet and applies a nerve hold to both of Thunder’s carotid arteries. Thunder’s entire bodies tense up as Shootfighter squeezes their most painful pressure points.
(Thunder shouts out refusals to tap out as Shootfighter applies a claw hold to either of his shoulders. Thunder finally fireman’s carries him over to get out of the double nerve hold)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tony Thunder pulls Shootfighter into his legs and gives him a tigerbomb!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(The Shootfighter claps his legs together on Thunder’s head)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tony Thunder irish whips Shootfighter into the ropes and drives his head into the mat with a huracanrana with a cradle!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tony Thunder climbs to the top turnbuckle, and backflips into a shooting star press but no one’s home!! The Shootfighter wraps up Thunder’s legs and turns him over into a sharpshooter. He slides Thunder’s legs up high along his thigh and pulls back on his twisted legs.
(Mike Peters checks in with Tony Thunder as The Shootfighter yanks back on his legs. Bruno claps, trying to root Thunder on, but Shootfighter has The ShootCrab locked in. Tony Thunder reaches out for the ropes but the West Coast Champion plants his feet and tugs his legs backwards, to quell any escape attempt)
Guillermo O’Bannon: He releases The ShootCrab and starts laying into the small of his back with muy thai kicks.
Phil Blauer: Shootfighter standing over Thunder, kicking him over & over in the back, like he owes him money. Which reminds me, I have to go double or nothing on Pittsburgh or I’m a deadman. Boonesy?
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: I called, but Sonny says he can’t cover you. Not this time.
Phil Blauer: Hmmm. See if your mother can part with your precious college fund to get the wager covered. Not like you’re gonna use it.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: (salutes) Will do!
Phil Blauer: I feel good about this one, Matthew. I have a system. And that system says a Colorado Rocky can beat up a White Sock anyday.
Gillermo O’Bannon: The Shootfighter scoops Thunder up and drops him across his knee. He pulls him up into a second backbreaker. He lifts him up a third time and powerslams him!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tony Thunder kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Shootfighter applies a cobra clutch and wraps his legs around Thunder’s ribs, then drops back to the mat. Shootfighter may have been working down the chest and ribs this entire match for The ShootClutch.
Phil Blauer: The fans sure don’t pop The ShootClutch.
(Peters checks in but Thunder refuses to submit. Shootfighter continues to constrict his opponent’s breathing with his legs around The Extremist’s waist. Tony Thunder uses his free arm to scratch Shootfighter's eyes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tony Thunder gets out of the ShootClutch and gets a little revenge with a cobra clutch of his own! Thunder whips him from side to side, not allowing him to gain his footing and possibly escape.
(The San Diego fans cheer as Shootfighter begins to fade. Blak Lung & Judge Death pound on the apron, trying to wake him up. Thunder releases the cobra clutch and pulls the weakened Shootfighter into his legs. He lifts him up onto his shoulder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tony Thunder runs across the ring and awesome bombs him!! He climbs to the top turnbuckle and 900 splashes The Shootfighter!!
(The audience cheers that death defying move and Peters slides into position)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Thunder sits Shootfighter on the top turnbuckle, and then climbs to the second turnbuckle. He grabs Shootfighter by the legs and comes off with a superbomb, but Shootfighter reverses it into a huracanrana!!
(Blak Lung passes Shootfighter his rusty wire hanger. Shootfighter holds Thunder down and jabs the wire into Tony's forehead, digging it back & forth. Blood spews from the dark laceration. Shootfighter stands over Thunder and batters him with forearms)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter bashing a bloody Extremist over & over with forearm smashes. The Shootfighter wraps Thunder's leg around his ankle into a crippler crossface!!
(Shootfighter pulls up on his head, as blood runs down Tony's face and down Shootfighter's hands. Peters checks in to see if Thunder taps. Tony refuses, so Shootfighter yanks up on his head & arm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Thunder grabs one of the ropes, and Peters forces him to break The Shootfighter Crossface. Shootfighter applies an armbar, but Thunder armdrags him over. He scoops Thunder up and runs across the ring, and drops down to one knee with a shoulderbreaker!
(Tony Thunder applies an abdominal stretch. Blood runs down his face as he uses his larger stature to bend Shootfighter backwards)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Extremist trying to get Shootfighter to give up that Hardkore West Coast Championship, but Shootfighter hiptosses him out of it. He hits Thunder in the balls a couple times. He applies a triangle choke and falls back to the mat.
(The Cox Arena boos and jeers, as Thunder waves his arms wildly, looking to grab the ropes. Shootfighter rolls him to the side and clamps down on Thunder's throat. Bruno shouts out words of encouragement of his quickly fading friend)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter pulls him up to his feet and drops him backwards into a t-bone suplex! He irish whips him into the ropes, and belly to belly suplexes him, but Thunder lands on his feet. He comes back with a monkey flip!
(Tony Thunder takes a second to wipe the blood out of his eyes, and then pumphandles him up on to his shoulder. He flips him forward into a powerslam. He climbs up to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tony Thunder backflips into a shooting star press and this time he hits it!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tony Thunder leg drops Shootfighter and climbs to the top turnbuckle again.
(Blak Lung rolls that singapore cane over to The Shootfighter. Thunder comes off the top turnbuckle with a frog splash, but Shootfighter whacks him with the stainless steel singapore cane in mid-air)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter drapes his arm over Tony Thunder!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The bell rings and the audience boos. "The Theme from Mortal Kombat" by The Immortals plays through The Cox Arena. Blak Lung and Judge Death prop The Shootfighter up and hand him his Hardkore West Coast Championship)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter, with the help of that stainless steel singapore cane and Blak Lung, retains the Hardkore West Coast title.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 15 minutes 45 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND STILL HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION...THE SHOOTFIGHTER!!!"
(The crowd boos even louder until a man jumps out of the crowd, over the railing, and steps into the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: It's Tony Thunder's uncle, DKahuna!
Phil Blauer: Shouldn't he be minding his burger stand with the hawaiian theme?
Guillermo O'Bannon: He's tired of seeing his nephew abused by people like The Shadows of the Night! He's on fire, knocking Judge Death, Blak Lung, and The Shootfighter to the mat with right hands! He shoots Judge Death into the ropes and back body drops him high into the air!
(The San Diego crowd goes nuts, as Death lands on his tailbone hard and begins to beg off from DKahuna. Suddenly, he's clubbed in the back of the head by Blak Lung with the singapore steel cane)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno steps over the ropes into the ring with the devil in his eye! He grabs Blak Lung by the throat and chokeslams him!
(The San Diego crowd cheers and chants "BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!! BRU-NO!!" Bruno grabs an exhausted Shootfighter and hooks him up into a suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno drops The Shootfighter on his head onto the top of his head from seven feet in the air with The Brunobuster!! Tony Thunder applies his Extreme Pain STF finisher on The Shootfighter!!
(The bell continues to ring over & over as Thunder stretches a nearly unconcious Shootfighter. Bruno helps DKahuna to his feet, and he walks over and asks his nephew to break the hold. The fans cheer Bruno, DKahuna, and Thunder as they walk back to the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter may have won the battle but who won the war here tonight?
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Jun 02, 2005#23
[The theme from Fame begins to play as Mister Fame steps out from behind the curtain. The fans rock the house with boos, throwing paper cups and soda cans at the devious manager. The jeers from the audience have no effect on him as he slips into the ring, with a grin on his face and a mic in hand.)
Mr. Fame: I know… I know. You’re all excited about the news I’m about to deliver to you.
(The fans boo loudly. Chants of “Fuck you, Mister Fame! Fuck you!” *clap clap clap* begin.)
Mr. Fame: Settle down. There’s action on the set… and in the locker room, if you know what I mean. You see, a few months ago, some miserable scoundrel snuck into the women’s locker room and video taped Xyrynth undressing.
(The fans boo.)
Mr. Fame: Since then, Xyrynth has been receiving demands from this dubious individual. And since then, she has refused to give into them. (he pauses) What a trooper. However, new video has been uncovered! Video of her and that walking Kane-reject, Phoenix, having intimate affairs right in our respectable arenas! I’m sorry, friends… but this is totally unacceptable.
(Fans: “Fuck you, Mister Fame! Fuck you!” *clap clap clap*)
Mr. Fame: Thankfully, that mysterious figure was able to catch that on tape! Now, Xyrynth faces a new demand… Either leave Hardkore World forever… or face total humiliation as I play the tape to the ENTIRE WORLD.
(One fan takes out his laptop and holds up his digital camera, ready to record everything played.)
Mr. Fame: The choice is yours, Xyrynth. Make it the right one.
(Fame drops the mic and rolls out of the arena. As makes his way up the ramp, fans shout profanities while some praise him as their new god.)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up next we have a match between the Hardkore World Women's Champion Ayame Tokugawa and Horror Girl. After upsetting Xyrynth for the Hardkore World title in a ladder match, Ayame defeated Brandi in a steel cage match. So she has survived her trial of fire thus far, but no one makes it through a match with Horror Girl the same wrestler they came in as.
Phil Blauer: But does Horror Girl has the where with all to be able to focus and win a big time match? So far, the answer has been no. She has been able to win anything put in front of her on the mid-card, but in the main event, her blue-ish eyes seem to glaze over.
(As "Haunted" By Evanescence plays, Mr. Fame steps through the curtain with a large cup of Starbucks coffee. Horror Girl walks out, cautiously making her way towards the ring. Bernice Biggs walks out next, and Horror Girl pauses, tilting her head the nearbye camera)
Phil Blauer: Horror Girl told me before we came on that she is overjoyed that Xyrynth has left Hardkore World, as she felt her act had gotten stale. She's excited about shaking up the women's division with something other than Xyrynth vs. Tamara Sanchez 9.
Guillermo O'Bannon: She said all that?
Phil Blauer: Well, it was alot grunts and moaning about "brains", but you have to learn to read between the lines if you wanna make it in the reporting game.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Check.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl had one of the most entertaining women's matches in Palm Springs Punishment in the first ever steel cage Cat Collar Match with three time Hardkore World Women's Champion "Sexy" Anjanette Turner. A match so violent, neither lady was quite the same afterwards.
Yolanda Ando: Horror Girl wears tightly fitted mummy wrappings around her chest, hips, forearms, hands and legs. Her skin is a pale blue and her hair is tinted a slight grayish purple. Her eyes are a very, very light blue. It's so light it looks whited out. Lastly, she has the classic zombie darkness around her eyes.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and it is for the HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE! Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by Bernice Biggs and her manager, Mr. Fame; From Parts Unknown; Standing 5 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 138 pounds...HORROR GIRL!!!"
(When Horror Girl gets into the ring, she crawls in and goes to the corner where she crouches down and stares at the entranceway, waiting for Ayame Tokugawa to make her appearence. Then "Before I'm Dead" by The Kidneytheives plays. The fans boo as Pedro "El Gallo" Santiago and KJ "Dracon" Xanathos lead Ayame "Phoenix" Tokugawa out to the ring with the Hardkore World Women's Championship strapped around her waist)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame no matter what she says in the safety of her locker room promos, is clearly scared of Horror Girl.
Phil Blauer: I'm scared of Horror Girl.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: So am I.
Yolanda Ando: Me too.
Guillermo O'Bannon: That makes three of us.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Four.
Guillermo O'Bannon: You don't count, Matt. Ayame must keep the deadhead guessing, and stay away from those razor sharp teeth.
Phil Blauer: (looks at his crotch) That goes for you too.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Don't talk to your penis anymore, Phil. I'm not gonna tell you again.
Yolanda Ando: You should see when he keeps saying to it, "Come on, work! Damn you!" Ayame Tokugawa wears a sexy black leather mini skirt, thigh high boots, and a bustier with crimson Japanese characters.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And her opponent, accompanied to the ring by Pedro "El Gallo" Santiago and her manager, KJ "Dracon" Xanathos; From Kyoto, Japan; Standing 5 feet 9 inches tall; Weighing 133 pounds; She is The Current HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...AYAME 'PHOENIX' TOKUGAWA!!!"
(The San Diego fans boo her, and she holds the title belt high up in the air then hands it to Mike Peters. Suddenly, Horror Girl runs through Peters, Santiago, & Xanathos and latches on to her face with her razor sharp nails)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl shrieking like a banshee!
Phil Blauer: Don't your people worship them like Gods? And fear them?
Guillermo O'Bannon: She tosses Tokugawa over the ropes and our match begins! She runs out to the floor, and kicks Ayame in the stomach, and runs up the apron into an acid drop outside the ring, dropping her head first onto the cement floor!!
(The audience cheers Tokugawa's face bouncing off the floor, while Horror Girl picks her up and whips her to the steel post)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame hits the post, and Horror Girl stays on her with a spinning heel kick to the back of Phoenix's head, banging her face right back into the ringpost!! With the steel steps right by them now, Horror Girl picks up Tokugawa in a vertical suplex, then plants her on the steps with a half dominator into a rock bottom!!!
(The Cox Arena is deafening with the monster pop as Ayame's body riccochets off the steel steps!! The crowd chants "HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!!" Pedro "El Gallo" Santiago comes over to help but Horror Girl snarls at him, so he thinks better of it)
Phil Blauer: What a move on those steel steps and this match could be over already!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl rolls into the ring and grabs Ayame by the hair, pulling her back into the ring. She sinks her teeth into her shoulder!
(The crowd boos and as blood runs from where Horror Girl is gnashing her teeth on the upper part of Tokugawa's shoulder. Horror Girl undoes some of her mummy wrap, and ties it around Ayame's neck)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl pulls her to her feet on the apron, from inside the ring...but Ayame blasts her with a spinning heel kick from the apron!
(She gets back up on the apron and pulls Horror Girl through the ropes out there on the ledge with her. She grabs her by the head and comes off with a side effect off the apron!!! The crowd blows the roof off the Cox Arena again, and restarts their chant of "HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: This match has nearly become the match of the night, in the first few moments! Ayame Tokugawa climbs back up on the apron, hops on to the middle of the second rope and asai moonsaults Horror Girl into the railing!
(The San Diego fans continue to cheer, as Ayame rests out in the front row, on a lucky guy's lap. Horror Girl leans against the security fence, coughing. Tokugawa steps over the railing and back on the attack with her opponent)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame Tokugawa checks her bloody shoulder and then gets up on the top turnbuckle, just waiting for Horror Girl to get to her feet. Ayame hops off the top with a dragon rana but Horror Girl catches her legs and powerbombs her on the concrete!!
Fans: "HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!!"
Phil Blauer: Horror Girl looks well rested after having a couple months off. Ayame Tokugawa has been through a ladder match and a steel cage match in that time.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl rolls back into the ring and slingshots herself onto the middle of the top rope. She springboards off into a missle dropkick, sending the champion crashing into the railing!!
(The Cox Arena continues to be deafening. The crowd gives them a round of applause for such a great beginning. Horror Girl rolls her into the ring, and then steps in her self. Ayame is waiting for her with a hard kick in the stomach)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame Tokugawa pulls Horror Girl up on her shoulder in a samurai driver but Horror Girl falls behind her and yanks her to the mat by the hair! She drops on to her neck with a sharp elbow.
(Horror Girl presses Tokugawa over her head, and then tosses her, dropkicking her chest on the way down! The audience applauds. Then the fans start chanting "{Mongo Edit: Fuck Off}!" at Mr. Fame. Bernice puts her hands over his ears. Horror Girl waistlocks Ayame, but Tokugawa back elbows her in the face)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame Tokugawa snap mares Horror Girl over her bleeding shoulder and then dropkicks the back of her neck. She runs into the ropes and takes her over into a running head scissors!
(Audience applauds, and before Horror Girl sits up Tokugawa cracks her in the face with a shining wizard! She stands in front of Horror Girl's body, and backflips into a splash, but Horror Girl puts her knees up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl gut wrenches Ayame into a tigerbomb!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ayame Tokugawa rolls her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl bites Ayame in the shoulder again! She headbutts her a few times, to make it bleed some more. She headlocks Tokugawa so that her head is along the ropes.
(Horror Girl drags Ayame Tokugawa's throat along the top rope. But Ayame back suplexes her. She runs into the ropes and hops on to the middle of the second rope, then lionsaults Horror Girl)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ayame Tokugawa kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame Tokugawa grabs Horror Girl's leg, sticks her knee into her back and turns her over into a single leg boston crab. The Geisha Fan!
Phil Blauer: Horror Girl doesn't feel pain!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: She looks to be in a lot of it right now.
Phil Blauer: Well then what doesn't she do?
Yolanda Ando: Bathe?
(Horror Girl growls and spits as Ayame Tokugawa yanks back on her leg. Mike Peters checks in to see if she taps out, but gets nonsense in return. Ayame releases The Geisha Fan, and then irish whips her into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame Tokugawa catches her on the way back with a black hole slam!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tokugawa irish whips Horror Girl into the ropes but the deadwoman comes back with a spear she turns into a short spinebuster!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ayame Tokugawa kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl irish whips Tokugawa into the turnbuckles so hard she bounces back out, and Horror Girl drop toe holds her face into the second turnbuckle of the other corner. While the she's leaning face first into the turnbuckle, Horror Girl grabs onto her opponent's legs and hits her with an ocean cyclone suplex!!
(Horror Girl, still holding onto Ayame Tokugawa's legs, Horror Girl applies a double ankle lock and pulls it back into a boston crab. She plants her feet and pulls her feet towards the back of her head. Tokugawa cries out in pain while KJ "Dracon" Xanathos shouts words of encouragement from outside the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl trying to win the Hardkore World Women's Championship with The Series of Unholy Events. Ayame Tokugawa reaching out for the ropes with that now blood drenched arm, but not close enough. Horror Girl releases Tokugawa and sets her up in a neckbreaker. She runs up the turnbuckles into a spinning neckbreaker!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ayame Tokugawa kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl front facelocks her and then steps up onto the second turnbuckle, and then comes off with a tornado DDT! Horror Girl puts the boots to her, but Tokugawa catches her foot and takes her down into a dragon screw.
(Tokugawa holds on to her leg and applies an ankle lock. Horror Girl clutches her leg, and Ayame gives it another twist. Santiago & Xanathos applaud on the outside, while Tokugawa looks at her bloody shoulder then wrenches her foot again)
Phil Blauer: It's obvious Xanathos' idea was to take out the leg of The Ghoul Ghirl. I don't know what the idea was behind that suit he's wearing though.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame wraps her legs around Horror Girl's thigh and drops to the mat. She wrenches her foot to the side, trying to get her to tap out again. Horror Girl is not submitting, so Tokugawa releases the anklelock and pulls her up into an inverted facelock. She drops her into an eye of the hurricane!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame pulls Horror Girl up by that rat's nest of hair and irish whips her chestfirst into the turnbuckles. She follows her in with a dropkick to her back, and then cradles her! She's got her feet on the second rope!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Mike Peters sees Tokugawa's feet on the ropes and forces her to break)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Eagle eyed Mike Peters sees the infraction before it cost Horror Girl the match. Ayame Tokugawa climbs to the top turnbuckle but Mr. Fame gets up on the apron and shakes the ropes, Tokugawa is crotched on the top! Horror Girl climbs to the second turnbuckle and butterflies her arms. Double underhook superplex!! She rolls on top of her into a pin attempt!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ayame Tokugawa kicks out)
(Horror Girl applies an armbar to Ayame Tokugawa's bloody arm, placing her knee into her shoulderblade. She clamps down on her arm, and then starts licking & biting Tokugawa's bloody fingers. Phoenix screams in pain, while Xanathos & Santiago argue with Mike Peters to stop her)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl lifts her up by her armbarred arm and then drives her head into the mat with a DDT!! She picks Ayame up into a crotch-tie position, then pumphandles her up into a german suplex!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ayame Tokugawa rolls her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl lifts her up into an ocean cyclone suplex, but Tokugawa rolls behind her into a small package with a handful of mummy wrap!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame Tokugawa hooks her arm around Horror Girl's neck and drops her back into an orton backbreaker. She runs into the ropes and tumbles into a rolling thunder legdrop!
(Xanathos & Santiago applaud on the outside of the ring, congratulating one another on their managerial skills. Meanwhile, Bernice Biggs has walked back up to the locker room. Tokugawa steps out on the apron, and slingshots herself onto the middle of the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame Tokugawa springboard missle dropkicks Horror Girl!! She irish whips her into the ropes, but Horror Girl comes back with a Lo Down powerbomb!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl rolls her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bernice Biggs comes back out from the dressing room with a full garbage can. Mr. Fame throws it over the top rope into the ring! Horror Girl stands it up near the corner and climbs to the second rope. She front facelocks her and hits Phoenix with a tornado ddt right into the top of the trash can!!
(The Cox Arena roars and chants "HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!" Horror Girl hooks Ayame's limp leg)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Dracon Xanathos puts Tokugawa's foot on the bottom rope and calls the ref's attention to it)
Guillermo O'Bannon: KJ "Dracon" Xanathos just saved the championship for his protege there. Horror Girl pulls her up by the hair and irish whips her into the ropes. She huracanranas Tokugawa's skull into the smashed metal garbage can!!
(Horror Girl pumphandles Ayame up, but she falls behind Horror Girl and runs into the ropes. She hits Horror Girl with a high cross body)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tokugawa runs at Horror Girl and crucifixes around her arms and then swings into a Déjà Vu DDT!!
(San Diego crowd applauds, and Ayame bends Horror Girl over her knee and spanks her repeatedly. Horror Girl shrieks in outrage)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl stands up, ready to kill Ayame...Ayame just slapped her across the mouth!
Phil Blauer: That was a mistake...
(The audience, Santiago, Fame, Bernice, Xanathos, and Mike Peters all cover their mouths in shock. The slap made Horror Girl's hair go over her eyes, but her blue eyes burn through her hair with hate)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl spits the blood out of her mouth into Ayame's eyes! She boots Tokugawa in the stomach and lifts her up into a crucifix, she drops her chestfirst on the mat!!
(Horror Girl drags Ayame to the corner and then steps out of the ring. She grabs Tokugawa's leg and bangs the ankle into the corner post. Tokugawa clutches her ankle, and rolls around the ring. Horror Girl rolls back into the ring, and applies an ankle lock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl working down her leg, with that ankle lock. She wrenches her foot from side to side. She picks her up and irish whips into the turnbuckles so hard that she flips into a tree of woe. Horror Girl stands back to belly against Tokugawa in the corner. Standing on Ayame's arms, she slips Tokugawa's legs through the rope and begins pulling! The Coffin of Woe!
(Horror Girl bounces up & down on the second turnbuckle, pulling up on the champion's legs. Ayame's shoulder bleeds all over the bottom turnbuckle and on the canvas below. Horror Girl pulls her out and twists her aching, bloody arm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame Tokugawa reverses it, twisting Horror Girl's arm. She back hook kicks Horror Girl, dropping her! Tokugawa climbs to the top turnbuckle, and comes off the top with a flying lariot!! She standing moonsaults her!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ayame Tokugawa pulls Horror Girl's head into her legs, and pulls her up on her shoulder, she hits the samurai driver!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The champion climbs up to the top turnbuckle, but Horror Girl gets up soon enough to punch her and trip her on the top rope. She climbs up to the second rope and monkey flips her off the top rope!
(Horror Girl picks up the damaged trash can and puts it over Tokugawa's head. She then irish whips Ayame into the corner, and follows her in with a running dropkick, denting it into her Phoenix's face!! The Cox Arena cheers)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl hooks her ankles up with both of Ayame Tokugawa's legs in a double toe hold. She applies a sleeper hold as well! Horror Girl squeezes her face, and rocks back & forth!
(Ayame Tokugawa shouts out refusals to submit, while Horror Girl continues to try and cut off all of her air. She releases her long enough to pick her up in a double throat lift)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tokugawa kicks Horror Girl in the stomach, to break it. She runs into the ropes and hops on to the middle of the top rope. She backflips into a Fire Bird DDT!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tokugawa climbs to the top turnbuckle and waits for Horror Girl to rise. She jumps off with a ribbreaker stomp to the back of Horror Girl's neck!
(Ayame Tokugawa climbs to the top turnbuckle, and tight rope walks along the rope, getting the audience to applaud. She hops off into a huracanrana)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Before Ayame could get off Horror Girl, the ghoul gives her a nerve hold in between her shoulder & neck. Horror Girl bites Tokugawa's shoulder again! She's gnawing almost to the bone, with blood coming out of her mouth.
(Ayame clutches her shoulder, with blood running through her fingers. As she gets to her knees, Horror Girl comes up from behind and locks her legs around Tokugawa's waist. She then puts on a cross face sleeper hold and arches back, pulling Ayame with her)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Spider's Woe! Horror Girl is arched perfectly on the mat while Ayame Tokugawa is stretched in a sleeper! Mike Peters checks in, and it looks as though the champion is close to giving away her title!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed; 10 Minutes Remaining."
(KJ "Dracon" Xanathos & Pedro "El Gallo" Santiago pound on the canvas, rooting Tokugawa on, urging her not to submit. Horror Girl squeezing the air out of Ayame's lungs. Horror Girl pushes Tokugawa face down on the floor, Horror Girl sits down upon Tokugawa's back and hooks her arm under Ayame's arm and under her neck. Then, she hooks Tokugawa's leg with her other arm. After clasping her hands together, she lifts her up off the mat and racks Ayame over her back)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl lifts her up on her back with The Zombiosis!! When Horror Girl locks her hands together, this puts tremendous pressure on the Ayame Tokugawa's back, neck, shoulder and leg.
Phil Blauer: I have pressure in those same spots. I need to get a massage. Deep, message.
Yolanda Ando: Don't even look over here.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl racking Ayame Tokugawa over her back in The Zombiosis! Peters checking in, but Ayame doesn't look good. She's taken alot of punishment tonight, especially to that bloody shoulder!
(Horror Girl trips Ayame Tokugawa throatfirst on the second rope. Mr.Fame takes the top off of his Starbucks cup, and throws it in her face, horribly scalding her!! She locks on a reverse sleeper, resting Tokugawa's chin on her shoulder. She then lifts up Phoenix and hits her with a flapjacked reversed acecrusher)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Oh, The Horror!! She covers the champion!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
(The audience applauds the excellent match, as "Haunted" By Evanescence plays through The Cox Arena. Mr. Fame grabs the Hardkore World Women's Championship off of timekeeper Ron De La O's table)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. Fame has cost Ayame "Phoenix" Tokugawa the Hardkore World Women's Championship!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 21 Minutes 12 Seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH; AND NEW HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...HORROR GIRL!!!"
(Xanathos rolls a weary, burned, and blood drained Ayame Tokugawa out of the ring. Meanwhile, inside the ring, Mr. Fame hands Horror Girl the championship belt, and she hoists it weakly over her head. Mr. Fame then grabs the mic from Bill Kasal and helps Miss Bernice into the ring as Horror Girl takes the title and straps it around her waist. With a cocky smile on his face, he brings the mic to his lips and speaks)
Mr. Fame: "Like always, everything is coming up aces! Now I know I said if Xyrynth didn't give into her demands, I wouldn't show that video... but you know what? I'm having such a GRRRREAT day, I'm going to show it anyway! Go ahead and roll it boys."
----
[Fame turns around with a nefarious smirk as the video begins starting up. The title "Birds of Hump" appear on big screen and old footage of Xyrynth undressing in the lock room. All of a sudden, before we can see anything else, the video skips, and begins to static.]
Guillermo O'Bannon: Why is he playing this smut??
Phil Blauer: Yeah, we've already seen this part. Who hasn't masturbated with a plastic bag over his head to this a hundred times yet?
[Fame turns around and looks up to see Bernice Biggs on the screen, sitting on a bed, wearing next to nothing on.]
Guillermo O'Bannon: Woah...
[Fame glances off towards Bernice who's covering her mouth in shock.]
Bernice Biggs (on screen): Oh. There is a knocking on the door. The doors unlocked! (she calls out) Come on innnnnn!
[Fame throws the mic down and begins yelling at Bernice asking what the hell is going on. Bernice yelps, backing away from Fame saying she didn't know that was the tape he used to record Xyrynth.]
Bernice Biggs: You're supposed to label them!
[Fame throws his arms up in frustration as the video continues.]
Death Gojira (on screen): SKreeeooorrrnnghk!
Phil Blauer: Ewwww...Goji Porn? That's ill, and I get off to pig fucking.
[Fans suddenly pop as Gojira appears on screen wearing a Pizza Hut shirt on. Fame's eyes go wide as he sees Gojira on screen. He quickly turns to Bernice who has a satisfied look on her face.]
Death Gojira (on screen): Here's your pizzas ma'am. That'll be 12.99.
Bernice Biggs (on screen): Oh no. It seems I don't have enough money to pay for the pizza. Is there any other way I can pay for it?
[Gojira looks to the screen, then back to Bernice.... then back to the screen.... and back to Bernice... Screen... Bernice... Screen... Bernice.]
Phil Blauer: For the love of GOD! Do we have to spell it out for you?!
[What comes next is the most bizarre act of sex ever caught on tape involving anchovies, crazy bread, and a Pepsi bottle. Half the audience turns away in sheer disgust while the other half can't help but continue to watch. Fame looks Bernice with a puzzled look on his face asking how the hell can she fit a Pepsi bottle up there.]
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ugh, fans more grossed out than when Dick Murdoch did that gay hustler gimmick at NWA house shows. But Mr. Fame probably doesn't care, since he is now the proud manager of the Hardkore World Women's Champion. I guess it pays off to hang with zombies.
Phil Blauer: Oldest story in the World...
(Shot opens on the ring crew putting the finishing touches on the steel cage)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Miracle Violence Combination II makes their first title defense against The Black Experience in the unforgiving steel cage. While they haven't been able to defend those titles yet, they haven't been resting on their laurels. Kilroy Evans and Andrew Karnage both lost their respective Hardkore America title shots against Cobryn.
Phil Blauer: Just like Philikins here, The Black Experience has been keeping it real. Real succesful, that is. They defeated The Warhammer Corporation & The Shootfighter for the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team titles in a scaffold match. Now they look to win their second title in as many months.
("Go To Sleep" by Eminem, Obie Trice, and DMX plays and the San Diego crowd gives one of the biggest pops of the night. Red pyros go off, Bruno steps out and flexes his enormous muscles while Stan jogs lightly in place in order to warm up. Casey Sanchez follows them down to the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Judging by that reaction, The Black Experience are the hottest team in Hardkore World right now.
Phil Blauer: I see Jonnie was quick to jump on that with all the merchandise. The crowd is a sea of 10 year old white kids wearing Black Experience jerseys and foam fingers.
Guillermo O'Bannon: They're just old Hunglestien & Tuxedo Mask memorabilia crossed out with "Black Experience" written all over them. You see? You can tell the Hunglestien shirts, see where he wrote over the "III" where it says "BIIIack Experience".
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: I worked all night on those.
Phil Blauer: Fine work, Matthew.
(Stan Wilson steps over the top rope, and raises his fist in the air as a sign of respect between him and the fans)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno and Stan "The Tank" Wilson are two of the biggest wrestlers around right now. But instead of trying to prove who the bigger man is, like they have in UWA and other regions, they've joined forces to dominate the tag team scene.
Yolanda Ando: Stan is wearing some black leather trunks with the words "Big Tank" embroided on the back, and an image of a small tank on the front, and the six man tag team title around his waist He has a black elbow pad, as well as black wrist tape on the left arm. On his right hand, he wears black hand and wrist tape on The Chokeslam Hand. Black kneepads, with ankle length black leather boots to complete the outfit. Bruno wears some black tights with the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team title slung over his shoulder.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following Steel Cage tag team match is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and is for the HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by Casey Sanchez; from Compton, California; Standing an amazing 7 feet tall; Weighing 355 pounds...BRUNO!! His partner is from Birmingham, Alabama; Standing 6 feet 10 inches tall; Weighing 325 pounds...STAN 'THE TANK' WILSON!! They are Two Thirds of THE HARDKORE WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...THE BLACK EXPERIENCE!!!"
(The Cox Arena erupts in cheers, as Bruno & Stan shake the cage walls to pump up the fans, while Sanchez does the same on the outside. "Black Betty" by Spiderbait plays and the audience cheers Kilroy Evans and Andrew Karnage as they walk out. Kilroy waves at the fans with the Hardkore World Tag Team title belt slung over his shoulder. Andrew Karnage mockingly rubs his neck towards Casey Sanchez)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans & Andrew Karnage have become tag team icons when that has become a dirty word, decimating the tag team divisions in UWA, IWA, and Hardkore World.
Yolanda Ando:Andrew Karnage wears black knee length basketball shorts with AK-47 down the outsides of each leg in dark red. Dark red kneepads, and black calf high boots with red laces, and has a black elbow supporter on his right elbow. Kilroy Evans wears a black The Tick t-shirt, brown belt, and denim shorts.
Phil Blauer: (shouts after Kilroy) GET SOME SUN ON THEM LEGS!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent; from Orem, Utah; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 257 pounds...ANDREW KARNAGE!! His partner, from Attbury, South Carolina; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 253 pounds...KILROY EVANS!! They are THE MIRACLE VIOLENCE COMBINATION II!!!"
(The fans cheer and Kilroy enters the cage, and stands on the second turnbuckle, waving to the fans. Bruno comes up from behind Kilroy and drops him with an angle slam! Ron Reid signals for the bell, as Andrew Karnage double times it into the cage)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno has Kilroy Evans hooked up and vertical suplexes him from seven feet in the air! He waistlocks him for a belly to belly but Kilroy drops to his knees and drives the top of his head through Bruno's chin.
(Kilroy Evans grabs Bruno by the head and bashes him in the face over & over with headbutts. Kilroy front facelocks Bruno by the head, but Bruno blocks the DDT)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno lifts him up into a fireman's carry, then runs his face into the steel cage! Bruno then spins him off his shoulders into a B5!!
(The San Diego crowd cheers and Bruno tags in Stan Wilson. Wilson steps over the ropes, and Bruno runs into the ropes. Stan lifts Kilroy into a flapjack, and Bruno comes off the ropes with a rude awakening! The audience gets louder)
Phil Blauer: Two thirds of the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Champions working together like they have been for years.
Guillermo O'Bannon: It was one double team move.
Phil Blauer: What double team move does Rosey & Hurricane do? They're lucky if they show up to the arena the same day.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wilson irish whips Kilroy Evans into the turnbuckles. He drives his shoulder into Evans' stomach a few times. Big Stan suplexes him out of the corner.
(Wilson pulls Kilroy up by his t-shirt, but Evans punches him in the throat. He runs Wilson's face into the steel cage! Kilroy then bites him on the forehead to get the juice a flowin)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans double underhook DDT Stan's face into the canvas! He tags in Andrew Karnage, and holds on to the Stan's double underhooked arms. Karnage climbs to the top rope and comes off with a flying shouldertackle to his own partner, Evans uses the momentum to drive's Stan's head into the canvas even harder!!
(The crowd cheers wildly, and Andrew Karnage applies an STF on Stan "The Tank" Wilson! Ron Reid checks in to see if Wilson wants to tap out, as Big Stan's blood runs down Andrew Karnage's defined forearm)
Phil Blauer: This epitomizes the reason why The Miracle Violence Combination II are so succesful. Kilroy Evans can beat you up, and then Andrew Karnage can stretch you out.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage trying to squeeze off all of Stan's air, but Wilson uses those long arms to reach out and grab the rope. Karnage pulls him up by the hair and irish whips him facefirst into the steel cage!
Phil Blauer: Stan getting a little more color now.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage follows him in with The Nightmare Lariot but is met with a big boot to his face!
(Andrew Karnage staggers around so Stan "The Tank" Wilson presses him over his head. He drops Karnage on his shoulder and pitches him forward into a powerslam! The fans cheer and chant "STAN!! STAN!! STAN!! STAN!! STAN!!")
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Andrew Karnage kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan pulls Karnage up by his long mane of hair and irish whips him into the ropes, but Karnage comes back with a yakuza kick! That knocks Stan back a few steps, and Karnage applies a half nelson hammerlock.
(Karnage tries to tiger suplex Stan but he's too heavy. After a few strained tries, he relents and Wilson irish whips him into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson tiltawhirls him over into a powerslam!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage kicks out)
(Stan Wilson tags in Bruno and the crowd comes alive. Bruno steps over the ropes with fire in his eyes. Bruno & Stan both scoop Karnage up on their mutual shoulder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Black Experience hits Andrew Karnage with a double michunoku driver!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno bounces in the ropes, and then drops a big leg across his neck.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno irish whips Andrew Karnage into the ropes, then goes for a spinebuster but Karnage reverses it into a tornado DDT! Andrew Karnage grabs Bruno and turns him over into a single leg boston crab.
(Andrew Karnage pulls back on Bruno's leg, stepping on his face with one leg. Bruno cries out in pain, and Ron Reid checks in to see if he wants to tap out. Casey Sanchez and Stan try and get the crowd into it, clapping faster & faster)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage release Bruno's leg and applies an abdominal stretch. He grabs his arm and turns it into a giant octopus.
Phil Blauer: Andrew Karnage a little out of sorts here, as Bruno is one of the few people in Hardkore World he can't throw around. He's gotta use his submission holds to his advantage here.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage using all that "natural" strength to cause as much pain as he can with the octopus stretch here. Karnage and Bruno have wrestled before, in Denver, Colorado at The Pepsi Center where Andrew Karnage stopped Bruno cold with that Nightmare Lariot...Bruno hiptosses Karnage over!
(The audience cheers, and Bruno irish whips Karnage into the ropes. He catches him on the way back with a powerslam)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage rolls out of the way of a big elbow from Bruno. He irish whips Bruno into his corner. Kilroy Evans chokes him with the tag rope, while Andrew Karnage batters him with stiff forearms!
(The crowd starts to boo Karnage & Kilroy a little, Bruno drops down against the bottom turnbuckle. Andrew Karnage then kicks him with a few facewash bootscrapes. Karnage tags Kilroy Evans in)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans climbs to the top turnbuckle, and Andrew Karnage superplexes his partner onto Bruno's stomach!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Bruno kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage & Kilroy Evans set Bruno upside down in the corner into a tree of woe, while Ron Reid holds a bloody Stan Wilson back. Kilroy Evans goes over to the other corner and runs in with a spear to Bruno's exposed stomach!
(Kilroy Evans pulls Bruno up and locks him in a tight bearhug. Bruno, who's taken some hard shots to his stomach is finding it hard to catch his breath)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans walks back and drops his face into the steel cage!! Kilroy grabs the stunned Bruno in a double underhook, but Bruno reverses it into an unprettier!
(The fans cheer and a bleeding Bruno tries to feed off their love. He gets to his feet and shoots Kilroy into the ropes. He catches Evans and drills him into the mat with a sidewalk slam)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Black Experience now on the comeback trail...
Phil Blauer: So any cars on Comeback Trail should be locked.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno going to tag out, but Kilroy grabs him by his boot and trips him to the mat. He sticks two fingers in Bruno's eyes, and his thumb in his mouth and drags Bruno back to his corner, while tearing at the laceration over his eye. He tags in Karnage again, and irish whips Bruno into the ropes. The Miracle Violence Combination II drive Bruno into the mat with a double rock bottom they call the East Side Slam!!
(The Miracle Violence Combination II bump fists, then shake hands then switch to an arm wrestler grip and pretend to sword fight and then drop a double elbow onto Bruno's chest)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Pretty Fly Handshake O' Doom!
Phil Blauer: And they say our people have no rythmn...
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Bruno kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a gran hamada headbutt to Bruno's temple!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Bruno gets his shoulder up)
(Karnage gets to his feet an flexes his muscles at Stan Wilson. Wilson steps over the ropes to get at Karnage, but Ron Reid cuts him off again)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Miracle Violence Combination II looking to do some more double teaming on Bruno which seems to be their strategy to defeat the larger men. But Karnage turns around into a spear by Bruno!
(Fans cheer, and Kilroy Evans enters the ring to try and stop Bruno from tagging out. Bruno catches him and shoots him into the ropes and tiltawhirl slams him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno turns around to tag in Wilson, but Andrew Karnage cuts him off with The Pain Killer EX crippler crossface!
Phil Blauer: So close, yet so far.
(Karnage locks a hammerlock on the arm that isn’t scissored holding it with his elbow while he reaches up to apply the chinlock. Blood runs down Bruno's face, down Karnage's arm that's still bloody from the STF he put on Stan. Casey Sanchez continues to applaud and the fans root Bruno on)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage pulls up on Bruno's head & arms, as the six man champion tries to hold on. Bruno rolls him over into a cradle!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno irish whips Karnage into the ropes and pops him in the face with a big boot! He tags in Big Stan!!
(The roof blows off The Cox Arena as a bloody enraged giant steps over the ropes and points at Andrew Karnage. He irish whips Karnage into the ropes and back body drops him over his shoulder into Bruno who catches him and piledrives Karnage!!! The fans chant "BX!!! BX!!! BX!!! BX!!! BX!!!" as Stan lays one hand on Karnage's throat for a pin)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage kicks out)
(Stan has the devil in his eye as he shoots AK-47 into the ropes again, and catches him on the way back with a black hole slam)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Tank Slam!! He drops a knee across Karnage's face and makes the cover.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Every fan in The Cox Arena is on their feet right now, as Stan belly to back suplexes Karnage, but Karnage flips behind them and runs his face into the steel cage!! Again! He waistlocks him and pitches him facefirst into the cage a third time!
(Karnage steps over Stan Wilson and applies a cobra clutch into a camel cutch. He sits on Wilson's ample back and pulls back on his head & arm. Ron Reid checks in and Wilson cries out "No!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage attempting to get a tap out from The Sphinx Clutch he has on Big Stan. Casey Sanchez very vocal on the outside, pumping the crowd up. Karnage gives one final long pull back, and Stan Wilson can take no more and clubs Karnage in the back of the head with a clothesline.
(Bruno gets to his feet and scoops Karnage up and slings him over his shoulder. He drops to his knees with a tombstone piledriver! He reaches out and tags in Stan, and they both climb to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Black Experience on the top, Bruno comes off with a big splash, then rolls away and Stan leg drops Karnage off the top turnbuckle!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans stomps the back of Stan's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy saves the belts for his team right there! Stan fireman's carries him up on his shoulders and then drops him into an implant DDT!! The Tank Drop!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Andrew Karnage kicks out)
(Audience groans at the close fall, and Stan pulls Karnage up by his hair. Karnage blows a black fog in Stan's eyes. The crowd full on boos Karnage now, as Stan staggers around, blinded)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage irish whips a blinded and bloody Stan into the ropes and...NIGHTMARE LARIOT!!! The force of it knocks The Tank out!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Bruno stomps the back of Karnage's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The horribly bloody Bruno returns the favor to Kilroy Evans! Andrew Karnage picks the 325 pound giant up and backdrop drives his head into the canvas!
(Karnage tags in Kilroy Evans, and irish whips Wilson into the ropes. The Miracle Violence Combination II double superkicks Stan Wilson! Wilson goes down like a redwood. Kilroy grabs him by the legs and turns him over into a boston crab)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans sits back on those trunk like legs as Wilson bleeds a large pool underneath his face. Andrew Karnage enters the ring and leg drops the back of Stan's head.
(Ron Reid shoos Karnage out of the ring, as Kilroy Evans pulls Stan to his feet. He jumps and spinning roundhouse kicks Stan in the stomach. Wilson backpeddles into the ropes and falls into the ropes. He slips down and his arms become entangled in the top and second rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans backs up and rushes in with a spear, but Bruno lifts the ropes allowing Stan to escape...Evans head crashes into the steel cage!! Stan lifts Kilroy up over his head and slams him headfirst with an alabama slammer!
(Stan pulls Kilroy's head into his legs and lifts him up on his shoulder. He flips him forward and falls with him into a dominator spinebuster!! Kilroy's bloody face bounces off the canvas and leaves a mark, Stan rolls him over and covers him)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan irish whips Evans into the ropes and sidewalks him up and drops him across his knee with a backbreaker!!
(Stan tags in Bruno, and the audience comes alive with cheers. Bruno gets underneath Evans' legs and lifts him up into an electric chair. Stan climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan clotheslines Kilroy off of Bruno's shoulders!! Kilroy landed on his head there! Bruno picks him up and Brunobombs him into the mat!! He cradles Kilroy's legs!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno irish whips Kilroy into the ropes but the Attbury Assassin comes back with a roundhouse kick to Bruno's chest!
(Kilroy salutes Casey Sanchez and then applies a cobra clutch on Bruno. He jumps up on Bruno's back, piggyback style and squeezes back on his arm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy forces Bruno down to one knee with that cobra clutch he uses to honor Sgt.Slaughter.
Phil Blauer: Why doesn't he just lose all his hair and sweat all over people?
Guillermo O'Bannon: He's workin on it. The audience clapping, trying to root Bruno on, and it works. He gets back up to his feet, with Kilroy stuck on his back. Bruno backs into the corner and squashes Evans! He lifts Kilroy up into a hanging suplex...
Phil Blauer: Bruno is so powerful he's lifting a 250 pounder up like he's me. Speaking of which, I can't find my wallet. I think Bruno may have lifted that too...
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno swings him forward into a uranage that he calls The Bruno Driver!!! He covers Kilroy Evans!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Andrew Karnage kneedrops the back of Bruno)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed; 10 Minutes Remaining."
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Stan has had about enough of the AK-47 and steps over the top rope. Ron Reid tries to stop him but Big Stan shoves him out of the way and into the cage! He grabs Andrew Karnage and presses him over his head. He drops him in a spinebuster!!
(Stan irish whips Kilroy Evans into the ropes, where upon returning, he lifts him high into the air with a release flapjack, followed by Bruno catching them and delivering a hard powerslam!! The crowd cheers, chanting "BX!!! BX!!! BX!!! BX!!! BX!!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Minority Rule!!! Bruno covers Kilroy, but there's no referee to count it! The audience booing, and that's starting to wake Reid up!
Phil Blauer: I would blame the bump Stan gave him, but I think it was probably the fifth of cheap scotch he had for lunch.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage comes up from behind Stan and crossface chicken wings him. He walks the giant over to the cage and bashes his head into the cage over & over, unprotected! Kilroy Evans staggers up and hits The Bad Touch diamond cutter on The Tank!!
(Bruno grabs Karnage from behind and german suplexes him. Again there's no referee to count it)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans walks over and stomps Bruno in his stomach while he bridges that german suplex. Karnage runs into the ropes and hits Bruno with a Nightmare Lariat as Kilroy clips out his knee with a running shoulderblock from behind!! Three Car Pile-up!! Kilroy Evans makes the pin!
Referee Ron Reid: (groggily) 1..........2..........3!!!
(The audience gives a mixed reaction, but mostly boos as "Spiderbait" by Black Betty plays through The Cox Arena. Kilroy Evans and Andrew Karnage exit the cage and grab their tag team title belts on the way out from Ron De La O)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 22 minutes 57 seconds; THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH; AND STILL HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...THE MIRACLE VIOLENCE COMBINATION II!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Miracle Violence Combination II make quick work of any tag team put in front of them, but not tonight. The Black Experience gave them their stiffest challenge yet, and should have won the belts tonight.
Phil Blauer: I'm not kidding, I can't find my wallet. I have half a mind to make Boone go in there and get it back from that Bruno character. Oh wait...here it is. Wait a minute, where are my keys?
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Jun 04, 2005#28
Guillermo O'Bannon: And now it's time for the big main event. Death Gojira was horribly burned in his second round match with Big Bad Bill in Albuquerque, New Mexico. So one even wonders if he'll even be up for this match.
Phil Blauer: Or me, I'm pooped. See?
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's disgusting, Phil. Cobryn's been busy himself, hostilly acquiring Cyrus' personal ring announcer.
Phil Blauer: But a ring announcer isn't gonna help him a whole lot with Gojira able to use the entire Cox Arena at his disposal.
Guillermo O'Bannon: True. Cobryn has wrestled all the current greats. Big Stan, Robert Hunglestien III, Cyrus Williams, Rally Jackson, Kilroy Evans, Paul Soutter, Andrew Karnage, and Big Bad Bill. But he has never wrestled someone with the blood thirst of Death Gojira.
Phil Blauer: No one has. Except for Death Gojira's opponents.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Do you wait to see if your comments are gonna make sense before you blurt them out?
Phil Blauer: No time for love, Dr. Jones...
(The lights in the Cox Arena begin to flicker as thunderous footsteps are heard echoing from the PA system. Fans rise to their feet and begin to cheer loudly as suddenly the lights go off and Godzilla's roar booms across the arena, causing several sparks to go off from the ceiling. "Godzilla's Theme" by Akira Ifukube begins to play as a giant pyro in the shape of a mushroom cloud explodes near the entrance ramp. When the smoke clears, Death Gojira appears, letting loose an defiant SKREEOOOORNGHK! with his barbed wire wrapped wooden chair in his hands)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Burned and forever scarred, Gojira now covers his shame with tightly wrapped bandages around his face, chest and arms. The only place we do get to see a part of Gojira is his eyes, which are now maroon, serpentine, and terrifying!
Phil Blauer: It's ok, Blau-Dog's here.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ok, Phil. Death Gojira once ruled the roost here with Hardkore World's feud of the year with Kilroy Evans. Now he's got another shot, this time against one of the greatest wrestler to ever lace up the boots, Cobryn.
Phil Blauer: Arguably.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Who else would you put up there?
Phil Blauer: I miss Ned.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I know you do, Phil. I notice The Amazing Taylor isn't accompanying him to the ring anymore.
Phil Blauer: I believe he's joined the Just Joes & Shockmasters of this world.
Yolanda Ando: Aside from his wrappings, Gojira wears a Haori Japanese Vest over his chest with long black shorts and boots. On the back of his Haori is the symbol for Godzilla, with the Japanese characters for "Hageshiimaru" encircling it.
Phil Blauer: Which is French, for "corn rows".
Guillermo O'Bannon: It's his name.
(As Death Gojira steps into the ring, he lets out a mighty 'REEEOORRRNGHK!' to the fans)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Ladies and Gentleman, the following Falls Count Anywhere Match is the Main Event of the Evening. Featuring first, from Monster Island, Japan; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds; He is The Undisputed King of All Monsters...DEATH GOJIRA!!!"
(The crowd roars and chants "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!" when suddenly the lights drop. The eerie opening chords of "No Quarter" begin ringing out and what seems like everyone in the building stands up. Intelligent lights begin scanning the arena… with a different tempo and sequence as the drums kick in as people begin stomping their feet in the dark. Suddenly pyrotechnics light the arena up with white, purple and red explosions above the ring and ramp area. A spot light hits Cobryn who’s standing on the ramp with a big smile on his face… Mannetti being drug headfirst behind him by Harley. The lights start coming back up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: There's Johnny Lee Harley dragging Paul Mannetti, Cyrus' ex-ring announcer and Cobryn's latest prize. Last time Cobryn was in this building, he defeated Adrian Tanner Jr. and Vincent Silvestri in a threeway dance for the first shot at the Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion. Cyrus Williams and Big Bad Bill better remember that.
(Cobryn cracks his neck and begins his march to the ring to a loud chorus of boos. One section of the crowd does the 'worship' motion while Cobryn walks down the aisle. Cobryn’s black robe drapes behind him as he approaches the ring, and wipes his feet on the apron before sliding through the ropes. He hands Mannetti an index card and commands him to read it)
Paul Mannetti, bloody and beaten: "Hailing from Key Largo, Standing in at 6’4 and weighing in at 250 pounds… He entered the UWA and began a 10 match winning streak… joining the Society of The New Breed and winning a match defeating the entire Toho Group and Brian Nixon. Thats Five men singlehandedly.... FIVE MEN! He went on to win the UK Championship… unified it with the Internet championship to become the first singles double champion in the UWA… and eventually went on to win the UWA World Championship from Tripps… ending his reign of backstage politicing and banishing him from the UWA. Cobryn is a former UWA Internet Champion, UWA UK Champion, ICW Internet Champion, A Double Champion on 3 different occasions including unifying the UK and Internet titles... and making the UK title a sanctioned title. The former UWA UK and UWA Internet ….UWA Internet and ICW Internet… UWA World and UWA Internet And the first man to hold an ICW and UWA title concurrently. He is the most decorated wrestler in the history of the UWA, and the former UWA Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOOOOORRRRRLLLLD....
[Paul Mannetti takes a large breath]
He then graced both AW, IPW and the IWA with his presence, and remained undefeated after defeating the likes of James Ashcroft, Big Stan Wilson, killing Kobra... literally, Defeating Haven and Hero in a handicap match, as well as Kilmer and Ashcroft in yet another handicap match... not to mention Haven and The Messiah in the famed and unforgettable Handicapped "I Quit" match.
Coming off the greatest tournament of his career, Cobryn defeated not only Paul Soutter, but Lucifer Jones, Rally Jackson and Kilroy Evans to claim the AW World Heavyweight Championship. This followed by a repeat performance at the Tournament of the Elite Two, where no other wrestlers would even show up for the event once Cobryn was announced to be defending his title.
[Another breath.]
Paul Mannetti: This was followed by winning the Las Vegas Wrestling's only title, in which he demolished Rally Jackson for a second time in two attempts.
But this is not all... Oh No...
Mannetti grumbles, but continues: Cobryn would then go on to win the Ring Syndicate World Heavyweight Championship despite the HPWA region's bitchy cries and protests, and after again demolishing Rally Jackson along with every other opponent he faced including the commissioner of HPWA himself T.H. Power, retired the belt the only worthwhile Champion of the gigantic promotion.
[One more breath.]
Paul Mannetti: Finally, Cobryn set his sights on the highest stage of them all. Cobryn found the will to defeat a plethora of Hardkore World's finest singlehandedly, including his fourth win against the nefarious Rally Jackson to become the first modern era West Coast Champion.
But still this is not all, Oh... No.... Cobryn would then go on against all odds to obtain a title of dreams. The Hardkore American title, a title so prestigious not even Big Stan holding it could bring it down to mediocrity. Cobryn took this title against his long time Nemesis Hunglow2Feelgood2343 in dominant fashion. He then took the title and defeated both Andrew Karnage and Kilroy Evans in dramatic and heroic finishes to completely bring back the luster of one of the biggest titles in the history of wrestling....
[Four rows of the crowd are seen sleeping.]
Paul Mannetti: Without further ado... He is superior to Cyrus Williams in every way, had the longest entrance before Cyrus even had a theme song, and has chased Cyrus Williams from both the IWA and Hardkore World...
He is... the Greatest wrestler of the modern era and without a doubt a lot cooler than Cyrus. Cyrus has body odor and Athletes foot. With a proffessional record of 110 wins against 9 disputed and nefarious losses... Your Hardkore World American Champion....
COBRYN!!!
Phil Blauer: He done yet?
Guillermo O'Bannon: (throws down his card) Uno!!
Phil Blauer: Damn!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira pokes Cobryn in the eye and scoops him up onto his shoulder...he drops him into a reverse bulldog!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Cobryn kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira lifts Cobryn up on his shoulders and swings him around into an F5!!
(Death Gojira stomps around the ring "Reee-ornk"-ing. Cobryn comes up from behind him and hits him with a low blow. The San Diego crowd boos him, and Cobryn lifts him up into a suplex and then drops his feet on the top rope. He drops him backward into a slingshot suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Tsunami Effect! Cobryn rolls over on top of him into a pin.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Death Gojira kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn rolls over top of Gojira with a chiropracter crunch. Cobryn sets him up for a leg capture suplex, but Gojira brings his knee up into Cobryn's groin! Death Gojira goes behind him with a chicken wing crossface.
(Gojira ties up their legs, and pitches him forward facefirst into the mat. Death Gojira lifts him up into a hanging suplex, and swings him around into an ace crusher!! The crowd cheers, and Cobryn rolls around covering his mouth)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira twists his arm and bends it behind Cobryn's back. He inverted facelocks him and reverse DDTs him on his chicken winged arm! He hooks the leg.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Cobryn kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira goes to kick him, but Cobryn catches his foot and shortleg clotheslines him. Cobryn half nelson hammerlocks him and drops him backwards into a tigerplex!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Death Gojira gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn pulls Gojira up and swings him around into a rude awakening! He picks him up in a full nelson, but Gojira powers out of it.
Phil Blauer: Send him over to Raw and maybe we can put an end to the Chris Masters segments.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira kicks him in the guts and lifts him up on his shoulder with an argentinean backbreaker! He racks the champion's spinal column along his shoulder, as Ron Reid checks in to see if he taps out. He then drops him in a hangman's neckbreaker!
(Gojira pulls his Goji Chair into the ring and douses it with lighter fluid. He sets it on fire, and then atomic drops Cobryn on the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira t-bone superplexes Cobryn!! He hangs on to him and full nelson drives his ass into the burning chair!!
Phil Blauer: Cobryn's prized asshole! It's his namesake!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira lifts him in a brainbuster drop. He drops down in a sitting position, dropping Cobryn's weight down onto a shoulder breaker. Gojira's been vaguely focusing on Cobryn's shoulder lately, and he sits on his back. He straightjackets his arms and pulls him back into a crossarm camel clutch!
(Gojira plants his feet and pulls back on Cobryn's hands. The referee checks in but Cobryn shouts out refusals. Gojira answers with "Quit, baka!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira lets go of his hands and stomps the back of his head. Cobryn crawls out of the ring and says he's done with this match. Gojira follows him out there and rams his face into the apron.
(Cobryn drops to his knees and begs for mercy. Gojira gets a sadistic smile across his face as the fans chant "Fuck em up Goji, Fuck em up *clap-clap* Fuck em up Goji, Fuck em up *clap-clap* Fuck em up Goji, Fuck em up *clap-clap* Fuck em up Goji, Fuck em up *clap-clap* Fuck em up Goji, Fuck em up *clap-clap*)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn hits DG low again and pulls him by his black shorts and pulls him shoulderfirst into the corner post! He grabs the timekeeper's bell off of the table and bashes him in the face!!
(The Cox Arena boos and jeers as Gojira drops to the floor, blood coming from the top of his head. Cobryn drops an elbow across his forehead)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn drops another pointed elbow smash to his face. He picks Gojira up and bounces his face off the railing! Again! He grabs one of our TV cables and chokes Gojira with it.
Phil Blauer: Hey Gui--....ever...noti...ton...and find...tha-...homo... Dom Deluise?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Thankfully, Cobryn using Phil's mic cable. He braces the cable and pulls up on it, with his knee against Gojira's head. Cobryn goes for a suplex, but Gojira blocks it and reverses it into a fisherman's suplex on the concrete!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn kicks out)
(Death Gojira grabs a metal trash can and knocks it over. Gojira double underhooks him up into a tigerdriver spiked onto the trash can!! The crowd roars and chants "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira scoops Cobryn up and then hits a snow plow on The Cox Arena floor!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Paul Manetti breaks away from Johnny Lee Harley by grabbing Death Gojira's Goji Chair! He wards him away and then comes at Cobryn, Gojira catches him by the head though and tornado DDTs his head into Cobryn's stomach with the chair hitting him in the face!!
(The fans continue to chant "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!" Gojira double underhooks his arms, but Cobryn blocks it and back body drops him on the floor)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn batters Gojira up the aisleway with closed fists, he fishes into his trunks and pulls out a pair of his trusty brass knuckles. He slugs Gojira in the face with the knucks! He bloodies him even worse with the metal on his hand.
(Cobryn tosses Gojira over the railing, into the audience. He steps over the railing, and grabs a twelve year old kid with glasses wearing a "BIIIack EXperience" t-shirt. He tosses him facefirst into Gojira's face, breaking the glasses and cutting Goji some more)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn goes for a piledriver, but Gojira blocks it, and backdrops him over into a belly to back sitdown piledriver in the 15th row!! He covers him as Ron Reid wades through the fans to make the count.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn kicks out)
(Gojira pulls Cobryn over the railing back into the aisleway and then grabs hold of his hair. He leads him up the ramp and into the gorilla position. He rams Cobryn's head into the wall so hard, the janitor's closet opens up next to him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira goes through the closet and pulls out a dirty mop and begins smothering it over Cobryn's face!
Death Gojira: "Time to clean up this puke stain!"
Phil Blauer: There's Tuxedo Mask. Whatever happened to him? He lost all the weight and no one cared. Like Carnie Wilson.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tux hands Gojira a strand of barbed wire, and he wraps it around Cobryn's neck. He pulls back on the strip while placing one foot on the back of Cobryn's head, shoving his face into the dirty water inside the mop bucket!!
Phil Blauer: Wow, that's almost as disgusting as being in the same car with Ron Reid.
(Cobryn grabs the metal bucket and blasts Gojira in the face with it! Blood continues to run from his cut, over his eye and one under his chin from the glasses)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn hammerlocks Gojira's arm behind him and then belly to belly suplexes him onto his chicken winged arm on the backstage floor!!
(Gojira howls in pain, clutching his arm. Cobryn crouches over top of him and bludgeons him with short punches. He pulls a bloody monster up and butterflies his arms. He double underhooks him up into a stalling tigerdriver '91)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tsunami '05 on the floor near the back entrance!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Death Gojira gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn tosses Gojira headfirst through the back entrance doors.
Phil Blauer: Ew, he got blood all over the handles...I gotta use those!
(Death Gojira staggers around The Cox Arena parking lot in the humid sea air. Cobryn comes up from behind Gojira and applies an inverted facelock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn going for The Answer...but Gojira slips out of his grasp and rams Cobryn's head into the entrance doors! He puts Cobryn's head through the door and closes it on his neck!! Again!!
(Cobryn crawls away, on his trembling hands and knees. Death Gojira stalks behind him and then throws Cobryn head first into the window of a car, shattering it!! You can hear the roar of the fans inside The Cox Arena as they view it on the video screen)
Guillermo O'Bannon: As Cobryn pulls out of the window, Death Gojira hits him with a sweeping double underhook DDT into broken glass on the asphalt!! He rolls him over and pins him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Cobryn kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: With Cobryn weary, Gojira throws Cobryn into the trunk of a Yolanda's volkswagen Jetta.
Yolanda Ando: Isn't it cute? It's got little fuzzy seat covers, and a fuzzy steering wheel cover with leopard prints...
Guillermo O'Bannon: Don't jusy floozies like leopard print?
Yolanda Ando: No, I love em. And the horn beeps the tune of Thompson Twins' "Hold Me Now"...
(Death Gojira gets into the driver's side and finds the keys in the ignition)
Yolanda Ando: Hey!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Why do you keep the keys in the ignition??
Yolanda Ando: In case Phil's after me and I have to get a quick getaway.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hmm, me too.
(Death Gojira starts up the jetta and proceeds to slam the rear of the car several times into a wall, until the trunk is crumpled up)
Yolanda Ando: (with each crash) Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Death Gojira finally stops the carnage and opens up the trunk. He pulls Cobryn out and covers him on the street.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Cobryn gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Hageshiimaru pulls him up on to the top of Yolanda’s Jetta...
Yolanda Ando: (runs out to the parking lot) Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Gojira climbs on top of the hood and pulls Cobryn’s head into his legs. He pulls him up into Sniff the Borax but Cobryn rolls forward onto his feet. He kicks Gojira in the stomach and double underhook facebusters him into the windshield!! He holds onto his arms and gives him a michinoku driver I on the hood!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Death Gojira kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cobryn wobbles up to his feet and pulls Gojira’s head into his legs. He pulls him up and ligerbombs Gojira through the canvas roof of her Jetta!!
(Cobryn opens up the backdoor and pulls Gojira out of Yolanda’s car. He pulls Gojira over to the entrance doors. He hooks him up and flips him headfirst through the backstage door with an exploder! The camera crew inside the Cox Arena are ready and waiting and pick up the action from there)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cobryn takes one of the camera crews TV cables and sits down on Goji’s back. He wraps it around Gojira’s neck, pulling back with a Cobryn Clutch!
(Gojira kicks and stomps his feet into the floor, struggling for air. Meanwhile, the entire locker room has gathered round to watch)
Phil Blauer: This Hardkore America title match has attracted some lookyloos. Guys with nothing better to do than to watch a couple guys try and maim one another backstage. Like the time Bill Kasal accused me of stealing his frozen dinner.
Guillermo O’Bannon: That was vicious, I thought he was gonna kill you. He wouldn’t stop, even when you wet your pants.
Phil Blauer: Yeah, usually that works to at least get them to stop touching me.
(The wrestlers begin hooting & hollering, mostly in support of Death Gojira. Ron Reid sees if Gojira wants to quit as blood flows down his face)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cobryn pulls Gojira up but the King of the Monsters blocks a hiptoss and counters with a crucifix. He rolls him over his back into a Monster Strikes Back piledriver on the concrete!! He covers the champion!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Cobryn gets his shoulder up)
(Makoto Jupiter drags the craft services table over towards them. Tuxedo Mask chases after it, saying “Hey! I was eating that!” Makoto whispers in Tux’s ear and he nods his head. Tux pours some lighter fluid on the table and lights it up! He sees the burning doughnuts and cries “Oh, the humanity!”)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Death Gojira lifts Cobryn up onto his shoulder and spinning powerbombs him through the burning table!!!
(Death Gojira lets out a “Ree-ornk” and then covers Cobryn)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Death Gojira gets clubbed in the back of the head with a steel chair)
(The camera pulls out to reveal it’s Kilroy Evans)
Guillermo O’Bannon: It’s Kilroy Evans! And Andrew Karnage! What are the Hardkore World Tag Team Champions doing here??
Phil Blauer: What we’re all doing here. Padding out our camera time.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Death Gojira staggers up to his feet, no-selling the chair shot!! Gojira glares at Kilroy through those bandages and Kilroy looks a little scared. Gojira now working over Kilroy! Meanwhile, Karnage locks in a sleeper on Cobryn!
(As Gojira pulls out his lighter and flask, Kilroy removes his belt and gets it around Gojira's neck. Karnage releases the sleeper, and backs up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Andrew Karnage immediately delivers a Nightmare Lariot to the back of Cobryn’s head!!
(Kilroy begins strangling Gojira, screaming "We were just after him, you stupid bastard!" Karnage goes to help Kilroy just as the Cupcake Crew goes to intervene)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Andrew Karnage delivers another Nightmare Lariot to Tuxedo Mask!! That laid him out on the concrete, but Kilroy isn’t so lucky. Eerie Von grabs Kilroy by the throat and chokeslams him on the cement!!
(Andrew Karnage grabs a peice of the broken table, and bashes Eerie Von in the head with it! He lifts Eerie Von up and drops him with the Karnage Crush Bomb on the backstage floor)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Andrew Karnage takes Eerie Von out with the KCB on the concrete. Kilroy Evans is back to his feet and waistlocks Death Gojira. Andrew Karnage backs up and Nightmare Lariots Gojira into a Shotgun Suplex from Kilroy Evans on the floor!!
(Kilroy says "I feel much better now, how 'bout you?" to Karnage, who nods and smiles as he helps him make their escape. Ron Reid sees neither man is stirring and starts a count)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...
Referee Ron Reid: 2...
Guillermo O’Bannon: Both Cobryn and Death Gojira have been motionless since that heinous attack by The Miracle Violence Combination II! Now Ron Reid counting both men out, and we could have a draw!
Referee Ron Reid: 3...
Referee Ron Reid: 4...
(The surrounding wrestlers, like Dan Stein, Lonewolf McNeely, Jeremiah Vastrix, Vagabond, and Tony Thunder are rooting Death Gojira on to get to his feet)
Referee Ron Reid: 5...
Referee Ron Reid: 6...
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cobryn starting to stir, clutching his neck as he tries to get to his feet.
Referee Ron Reid: 7...
Referee Ron Reid: 8...
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cobryn getting to his feet, but Ron Reid is checking on Death Gojira. Cyrus Williams comes out of nowhere and hits The Blackout on the backstage floor!!! Ron Reid didn’t see it!
Phil Blauer: It’s like soap to him...
Referee Ron Reid: 9...
Referee Ron Reid: 10!!!
Guillermo O’Bannon: That’s it, Ron Reid has counted both men out!
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “At 17 minutes 23 seconds; THE REFEREE HAS COUNTED BOTH MEN OUT...THE RESULT IS A DRAW!”
(The fans inside the Cox Arena can be heard booing the non-decision, chanting “Bull-shit!! Bull-shit!! Bull-shit!! Bull-shit!! Bull-shit!!” Cyrus Williams points at Cobryn and then disappears into the crowd. Medics go to both Death Gojira and Cobryn’s side)
Guillermo O’Bannon: With The Cupcake Crew, The Miracle Violence Combination II, Cyrus Williams, and that kid with the glasses; too many extra parties were involved in this one. You can bet your ass Jonnie knows of a way to remedy that. Well, that’s all for now from San Diego fans. But we won’t be far. Just a couple hours up Interstate 215, in Palm Springs. Back at Hardkore Hall!