J-ROK Presents: End of Days Forces of Nature Week 3: Water
Oct 17, 2022 0:56:18 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Dave D-Flipz, and 3 more like this
Post by Kira Izumi on Oct 17, 2022 0:56:18 GMT -5
J-RoK, in association with The XHF Network, Proudly Presents: END OF DAYS WEEK 3: FORCES OF NATURE - WATER!
Date: October 16, 2021
Makomanai Ice Arena, Sapporo, Hokkaido, Japan
Attendance: 10,500
To fit the theme of water, JRoK has provided us with the deadliest water themed deathmatches you can imagine!
Theme Song: Rain When I Die by Alice in Chains
J-RoK STANDARD MATCH
Super Sake Swimming Pool Deathmatch
There is a swimming pool of Super Sake outside the ring
Queens of Chaos (Jessie Osborne and Alexandra Callaway) vs. Super Sake Presents: Off the Wagon (Randy Angel and Kris "Triple" Quake)
Super Sake Swimming Pool Deathmatch
There is a swimming pool of Super Sake outside the ring
Queens of Chaos (Jessie Osborne and Alexandra Callaway) vs. Super Sake Presents: Off the Wagon (Randy Angel and Kris "Triple" Quake)
MUSHI: "(Welcome to End of Days Week Three! Tonight we're starting off with our first of many water themed matches, many devised by the twisted mind of J-ROK owner, Kira Izumi. Our first sees a team from the latest batch of debutants get a huge opportunity, going against one of the hottest teams in J-ROK, Off The Wagon in a match made in heaven for them!)"
Psycho KGB: "(After an impressive showing at the pay per view a few weeks back, Izumi just had to book Queens of Chaos in a high profile match. And a super sake swimming pool match to boot!)"
MUSHI: "(Now the only way to win this match is by throwing your opponents into the pool of Super Sake on the outside of the ring. We'll see who can overcome this unique matchup.)"
Fumio Daemura: "(This is your opening contest of the evening and is a Super Sake Swimming Pool Death Match! The only way to win this match is by throwing your opponents into the pool of super sake. Introducing first, Jessie Osborne and Alexandra Callaway, The Queens of Chaos! And their opponents, Kris Quake and Randy Angel, Super Sake Presents: Off The Wagon!)"
The match starts with all four in the ring. Randy might not need much convincing to get into the pool of super sake, he's already eye balling all of that booze. But once the bell rings it's all business for the resident alcoholics. They would take the lead in the early going ons of this first time match. Using their unique offense to wear down Jessie and Alexandra. The queens would manage to dodge a double team move at one point though, ducking a boot and sliding behind, managing to hit a nasty double suplex.
All four would brawl back and forth, with the queens beginning to show that they could hold with the former tag team champions. Throwing out Kris and laying out Angel with a Apocolypse powerbomb leg lariat combo. Callaway would lift up randy and try to throw him out into the pool, but Quake would make the save, Spearing her instead.
Quake and Callaway would fight one another outside the ring, on the other side where the pool was. Randy and Jessie would trade strikes back and forth as the crowd would cheer and boo for both respectively. Randy would manage to throw Jessie over the top after she'd try to hit him with a lariat. She'd drop onto the apron and Randy would dropkick her in the back to knock her off and into the pool for the win.
Fumio Daemura: "(Your winner of this match Super Sake Presents: Off The Wagon!)"
MUSHI: "(Another good showing from Queens of Chaos, But they still have a lot of growing to do if they want to beat one of the premier tag teams in J-ROK.)"
Before the next match we cut backstage to Chaos Theory as they prepare to enter the arena. Spike looks at his partner and long time running buddy PRICE and says.
Spike: I know this isn’t the final, but this feels special.
PRICE: You right. We should have planned a special entrance to face these fools.
Spike: How about we take the hell portal in?
PRICE smirks and nods in agreement, but before Spike can summon his hell portal he is interrupted by Carlos the road agent.
Carlos: Whoa now. You realize the ring is ice right? You can’t take a hell portal to the ring! You’ll melt the thing before the match starts!
Spike sighs.
Spike: Fine. Hit our damn music.
"CHAOS! CHAOS! CHAOS! CHAOS!
CHAOS! CHAOS! CHAOS! CHAOS!”
CHAOS! CHAOS! CHAOS! CHAOS!”
Strobe lights begin to flash wildly as Spike Kane and PRICE step through the smoke.
“Bombs dropping on the runway, the oceans overflow
I know for certain, one day I'll see you down below
I'll find some solace someday, and you'll reap what you sow
I'll see you Bloody Sunday (so you can break my soul)”
I know for certain, one day I'll see you down below
I'll find some solace someday, and you'll reap what you sow
I'll see you Bloody Sunday (so you can break my soul)”
The two men begin to slowly make their way down the ramp, taking in the pop from the crowd and their opponents in the ring.
“No one can save you, no one can save you
The chaos awaits you!”
The chaos awaits you!”
When they reach the ring they split up and each pick a side, before climbing up onto the ring apron and up onto the turnbuckle.
“I can't see tomorrow 'cause I might die today
I sing this sorrow with a smile on my face
Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
I can't see tomorrow, are we dead or alive?
When the blind lead the blind in the”
I sing this sorrow with a smile on my face
Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
I can't see tomorrow, are we dead or alive?
When the blind lead the blind in the”
The lights begin to flash wildly again as both men climb down off the turnbuckle and meet in the middle crossing their arms into an X across their chests and bumping fists together as they do.
“CHAOS! CHAOS! CHAOS! CHAOS!
The blind lead the blind in the-
CHAOS! CHAOS! CHAOS! CHAOS!
CHAOS! CHAOS! CHAOS! CHAOS!”
The blind lead the blind in the-
CHAOS! CHAOS! CHAOS! CHAOS!
CHAOS! CHAOS! CHAOS! CHAOS!”
The music fades as the lights return to normal
Hawke: Two if the pillars of violence, but how violent can they get in these frigid conditions.
Randy: Yeah it is a little chilly now that they’ve brought out the special ring.
Hawke: A little? I’m wearing a parka and still freezing my nipples off!
Randy: I remember La Parka. Fun wrestler.
“Oh No. Here We Go Now”
Rat Bastard and Steve Awesome come strutting out into the stage. Rat has a beer in his hand and is trash talking the crowd on his side. Steve is crotch chopping and showing off his abs to taunt the crowd.
“Momma's gonna worry
I been a bad bad boy
No use sayin' sorry
It's something that I enjoy”
I been a bad bad boy
No use sayin' sorry
It's something that I enjoy”
Rat insults a fan and threatens to slap them before gulping some beer and getting into the ring. Steve flirts with some guys thirsty wife then laughs in the dudes face before sliding into the ring.
"If you could be inside my head
You'd see that black and white is red
Flying high again
Flying high again"
You'd see that black and white is red
Flying high again
Flying high again"
Both men hit their entrance poses in the ring as pyro spray from the turnbuckle. Steve provocatively strips down to his ring gear and Rat chugs the rest of his beer. The Awesome Bastards stare across the ring at their opponents.
Randy: I know that guy! I used to love his beer.
Hawke: Don’t fanboy out. We’ve got to be impartial.
Randy: Oh I won’t root for him. I said used to because his beer is the top rival to Super Sake.
Hawke: Of course.
TAG TEAM ANNIHILATOR SEMIFINAL MATCH
Don't Break The Ice Deathmatch
The opponents are suspended above a pool of freezing water. They fight on a ring made of ice blocks like the kids game. You lose when both team mates fall through the ice and into the water below.
Chaos Theory vs. Awesome Bastards
Once all four competitors are in the ring, the ring begins to lift high above the icy waters leaving behind the safety of the ringside area. Steve stands in the ring for his team. He stands on the edge of the ring against the ropes and reaches out with one foot to test the ice while on the other side Spike and PRICE discuss who should start for their team. PRICE is animated pleasing his case to get his hands on Steve, and Spike caves in and let’s him start. A wild smile appears on PRICE’s face as he stalks towards Steve, but Steve quickly tags out.
Randy: That tag came on quicker than the buzz from Super Sake.
Hawke: Steve clearly wants no part of PRICE this early, or he’s as frozen as I am.
Randy: One shot of Super Sake will fix that!
Hawke: That’s not real!
Rat smirks as he enters the ring and PRICE shakes his head annoyed. The two meet in the center of the ring and lock up. They shove each other around back and forth, but the shoot release and step back as the ground under them begins to shake. They look at the ground and both sigh at the close call. PRICE then quickly attacks with a stiff punch that sends Rat stumbling back to the ropes. PRICE quickly moves in and begins laying chops into the chest of Rat against the ropes. One, two, three, four, five chops and Rat’s chest becomes to bright red you can see it through his thick chest hair. PRICE grabs Rat by the wrist and whips him across the ring. Rat hits the ropes and bounces back towards PRICE in the center of the ring. PRICE catches him for a belly-to-belly, but Rat quickly pokes PRICE in the eye and delivers a swift kick to the groin followed up with a quick DDT.
Hawke: Chaos Theory may be more violent, but Rat isn’t afraid to pull out all the stops.
Randy: He’s a bastard that Rat.
Rat smirks and walks towards his corner as PRICE gets to his feet, but is doubled over holding himself in pain. Rat whispers something to Steve as he stands up against the ropes. Rat points to the ground under PRICE as it begins to shake, but PRICE quickly leaps off before causing the ice block to fall.
Randy: PRICE was on thin ice there.
Hawke: Are you going to do this all match?
Randy: Maybe.
Although away from the danger of the shaking ice PRICE is still grabbing at his groin and Steve sees this as his chance to tag in. Steve quickly runs at the probe PRICE, but PRICE is ready with a stiff lariat all while still holding his groin. PRICE lays the boots into Steve before pulling him up and whipping Steve into his teams corner. Spike holds Steve down as PRICE runs in with a splash on Steve. Spike tags in and begins laying rapid-fire punches to the impeccable abs of his “friend” Steve. Spike grabs Steve by the hair and pulls him out of the corner and delivers a huge European uppercut to the X*Crown Champion that sends him stumbling backwards and into a seated position in the corner. Spike takes a couple steps back and then runs in connecting with a huge running knee to Steve.
Hawke: If this is how Spike treats his friends Id hate to be his enemy.
Randy: Yeah because this isn’t a nice thing you do for a friend.
Hawke: Thanks for spelling that out.
Randy: You’re welcome.
PRICE tags in and stomps a mud hole into the X*Crown Champion in the corner. Once he’s satisfied with how many times he’s kicked Steve he pulls him up and lifts him over his shoulder and turns with a power slam that shakes the ice. PRICE steps back waiting for the ice to break and Steve to fall through, but either out of pain or out of instinct Steve rolls off the spot before the ice breaks.
Hawke: I’m not sure how much longer this ring can last.
Randy: With moves like that I can’t imagine it will be much longer.
PRICE follows up frustrated with another stomp on Steve before he can make his way towards his corner. PRICE then flips off Rat as he picks up Steve and then lifts him up for a vertical suplex. Once all the way up in the air Steve begins to squirm around and is able to cause PRICE to lose grip and Steve falls to his feet behind PRICE. Steve waits and when PRICE turns back to him Steve nails him with the thigh slap super kick.
Steve: That was cold of me.
PRICE hits the ice and the reverberation of Steve’s thigh slap shake the ice. Steve is quick to leap over his fallen foe and tag in Rat. Rat quickly gets in and kicks PRICE in the ribs as he gets up to all fours. Rat walks over him still on all fours grabbing his ribs now, and Rat moves PRICE’s head between his legs. Rat lifts him up and nails him with a Bastard Bomb. PRICE rolls around on the ice as Rat stalks over him hoping for the ice to fall.
Rat: I remember you. You used to be feared. Look at you now. You’ve become what you hate. You’re just a fat ass no one likes like Mongo, except you don’t have the money.
PRICE looks up at Rat and flips him the double bird before getting a small amount of payback with an up kick to the groin. Rat falls back in pain as PRICE rolls to his corner and tags in Spike. Spike quickly gets in and moves in on Rat as he pulls himself up on the ropes. Rat gets himself and turns around right into a Bloody Sunday from Spike. Spike looks over to his “friend” Steve as Rat hits the mat and yells at him.
Spike: I’m doing this for you, not to hurt you.
Spike stands over Rat waiting for him to get up or fall through the ice, but the wiley veteran rolls to the safety of the ring mat. Spike quickly moves in on Rat as Rat lays prone on the ring apron. Spike pulls him up to his feet through the ropes. Spike then steps in the bottom ropes and suplexes Rat back into the ring. Rat rolls in pain and begins to pull himself up in the wrong corner. He gets up and is right in the face of PRICE. Rat responds to seeing his opponent by spitting in his face. This of course enrages PRICE and he grabs Rat by the head and smashes him into the top turnbuckle. Spike follows that with a splash to the back of Rat and tags in PRICE. PRICE moves in and turns Rat around and chops him in the chest before picking him up and perching him up on the top rope. PRICE climbs up and hooks Rat up looking for a superplex. Rat locks his feet around the turnbuckles to block. PRICE releases and goes for a punch to Rats slimy face, but Rat counters quickly with a thumb to the eye. PRICE grabs at his face as Rat pulls himself up and delivers a kick to PRICE’s hand trying to make him fall back, but PRICE holds on. Out of desperation Rat pulls out a new trick and dives knees first onto PRICE with a meteora and when both men hit the mat the ice shakes and falls out from under them.
Bonnie Jenkins: Both Rat Bastard and PRICE have been eliminated.
Randy: Both of those guys have broken through the glass ceiling and now they’ve both fallen through the ice floor.
Hawke: I don’t know if that was brilliant or stupid by Rat.
Randy: Yeah, now he’s left him alone with a stone cold killer. GUNS fight club proved that.
Spike slowly and carefully steps in the ring making his way around the giant hole on his half of the ring. Steve stays on the apron staring down his “friend” as he navigates the destruction. Spike gets around and holds out both hands calling his stablemate into the ring. Steve reluctantly moves into the ring. He looks across the short ring at Spike.
Steve: Rat was right.
This enrages Spike and he charges and nails Steve with a forearm knocking him into the ropes. Spike begins laying body shots into the X*Crown Champion. Spike takes a step back and swings hard with a chop, but Steve ducks under and forces Spike into the ropes. He lays in body shots of his own and then steps back and crotch chops.
Spike: Really? You’re cross chopping at me?
Steve shrugs and Spike explodes out with a stiff lariat taking Steve to the icy mat. Steve quickly rolls out onto the ring apron to avoid any follow up and avoid falling through the ice. Spike quickly follows him to the ropes and pulls him up. He once again steps on the bottom rope looking to suplex Steve back into the ring much like he did to Rat earlier, but Steve blocks. Steve then pulls for a suplex of his own. He gets Spike up, but Spike counters with a knee and lands on the apron next to Steve.
Randy: This is dangerous territory for both men.
Hawke: That’s right. One wrong step and either one could go tumbling down, and from there, no guarantee they hit water.
Steve and Spike stare each other down before peeking down at the ground below. They both then strike with rights and lefts. A hockey fight has broken out at this wrestling match, or maybe on the ice it was always a hockey fight. After a flurry from both men they both rear back and nail each other with forearm shots. Each stumbles and has to grab the ropes to keep themselves up. They look at each other again and in a silent agreement both move back into the ring.
Randy: That was close.
Hawke: It really was.
Randy: You could say they were on thin ice.
Hawke: Stop.
Back in the ring the hockey fight continues until Spike rocks Steve a stiff right. Steve stumbles back into the ropes. Spike charges in at his opponent and Steve responds with a back body drop. Spike catches the top rope on his way over and is able to land on the ring apron instead of tumbling to his doom. Steve quickly follows up with a Sparta kick trying to kick his stablemate off of the apron, but Spike catches his foot and quickly counters with a dragon screw in the ropes. Spike falls to the ring apron after the move and has to grab the bottom rope for safety from falling as in the ring Steve is grabbing his leg in pain.
Hawke: Huge move by Spike, but a dangerous place to do it.
Randy: You could say he was on thin ice.
Hawke: I hate you.
Spike takes a deep breath and then rolls into the ring. He walks over his fallen opponent and pulls him up. Steve is grabbing at his leg as Spike sends a right hand to his head. Spike then hooks him up and lifts him up for the Spike Impaler.
Hawk: If Spike nails this it will be elementary, we’ll just have to push Steve over into the hole if this doesn’t spike him through the ice.
Randy: You could say Steve is on…
Hawke: Don’t say it.
Randy: …thin ice.
Once up in the air Steve pulls a play from his partner Rat and pokes Spike in the eye. Spike drops Steve and grabs at his face and Steve grabs Spike and nails a SteveKO! Spike hits the ice hard and the ice begins to shake under him. The block under Spike falls to the ice, but Spike is able to grab onto the ice next to him. Steve slowly gets up and walks over to the edge of the ice and looks down at his “friend.”
Steve: I didn’t want to do this. You made me do this.
Spike responds by removing one hand and flipping Steve off. Steve just shrugs in response and stomps on the other hand of Spike and Spike falls into the icy water.
Bonnie Jenkins: Spike Kane has been eliminated. The winners of this match and moving onto the finals, The Awesome Bastards!
Hawke: What a match. The Awesome bastards are moving on.
Randy: You could say they…
Hawke: No. Stop. Get some help.
Randy: A first for the XHF tonight as we go to the Onsen hot springs for a Deathmatch of the ages!
Hawke: A first? That’s odd, considering we have seen everything.
Randy: You would think that but even in 2022 we get the pleasure of a hot springs death match courtesy of XHF.
Hawke: And the challenge of a life time for Brittney Beahr who takes on Zoran.
Randy: There could not be two more different wrestlers, and I use that term loosely here.
Hawke: True. Brittney is from CAR and is a support player to the team over there. She has shocked the world already in this tournament, and if lightning strikes again, it could be the upset of the year tonight.
A drone pans over the outside lush area outside the city of Sapporo, Hokkaido, Japan. Billed as the fifth largest city in Japan,
Bonnie Jenkins: The following contest is an End of Days Singles Tournament Semi-Final’s bout and under the rules of an ONSEN DEATHMATCH! A winner will be decided by pinfall or submission. Introducing first…
The lights go dim and the speakers come to life with a surprise.The strong guitar chords announce the arrival of another XHF bear wrestler. “The Teddy Bear's Picnic” by Henry Hall & His Orchestra begins to play laxidazilly as the cartoon style music washes over the audience who is watching on the XtremeTron.
Bonnie Jenkins: A proud member of the CAR roster and hailing from the forests of Grandfather Mountain, North Carolina! She stands five foot four inches tall and weighs an unknown amount according to our records. Known worldwide as the ENTIRE CAR Planning Committee and resident Car Staffer, ladies and gentlemen – BRITTNEY BEAHR!
Brittney Beahr lumbers onto the path as though pushed from behind. She stands and moves the mascot head so that she can see out the mouth before walking towards the ring. Brittney Beahr makes her way towards the hot springs where a zebra shirted referee is waiting. The springs are bubbling She may not be a trained wrestler, but her past as a zoo keeper means she can read body language. Let’s see if it helps here.
Hawke: No matter the challenge, tonight it will be a the hot springs that the Bear costumed Brittney has to overcome. I wonder if that suit is going to hold up to the hot temperatures?
Randy: I don’t know any furries to confirm or deny that question Joey, but I imagine it’s not going to do her favors.
Bonnie Jenkins: And the challenger of tonight’s bout, hails from Belgrade, Serbia! He weighs in tonight at two hundred thirty seven pounds! Standing six foot one inches tall, a former X*Crown Champion, ‘The Final Boss’ ZORAN SAINOVIC!
The Heavy's "Big Bad Wolf" blasts over the PA system in the arena as the fans watch on the XtremeTron to see Zoran from the open door of the helicopter, standing there as a spotlight is aimed up at him. The lyrics to Big Bad Wolf are heard clearly as the helicopter descends.
"With Time Slipping Away
I Can't Say What I'll Do...
You Got Nothing To Saaaaaaaaaaaay
'Til I Tell You Who's Whoooooooooooooo
You Know Why?"
Landing securely on the ground nearly 30 yards from the ring, blades whipping the air and the water of the hot springs surrounding the ring on three sides. A red carpet rolls out from the landing gear, and Zoran steps out to take his first step towards this End of Days semi-final match. Up and away, the helicopter zips around the ringside area and out over Lake Toyo. The XtremeTron shows the site of Mount Usu in the evening and the sun setting behind the active volcano of Japan. The camera transitions back to the challenger, Zoran Sainovic. Panning up his body, showing the scars and bandages from recent wars, his left arm in a sling. Zoran makes his way to the ring, taking his time as the spotlight highlights him on the red carpet.
Hawke: No stranger to big match situations, and it shows with how he walks to the ring Randy.
Randy: Zoran is on another planet, literally. Have you tried talking to the guy?
Hawke: I avoid everyone like the plague.
Randy: He’s not a good drinking buddy, that’s all I can say.
Hawke: Anyway, this one shall be interesting as Zoran and Brittney are greeted by the referee. Laying down the law does Referee Fernhouse, and signaling for the bell!
END OF DAYS SINGLES TOURNAMENT SEMIFINAL MATCH
Onsen Deathmatch
A fight by an onsen (hot springs), where anything they find can be used as a weapon. Win by pinfall or submission
Brittney Beahr vs. Zoran Sainovic
Ding! Ding! Ding!
In no short order, Zoran rushes Brittney and knees her in the Bear suit gut. Some stuffing shifts around as the smaller competitor is sent to her knees and hands. Zoran was in no mood to let this one go longer than it needed to. His intentions are made clear as he swiftly puts the boots to the CAR staffer. Brittney rolls under the ropes from the multiple kicks and barely grabs the bottom rope.
Randy: Barely avoiding a dip in the hot springs.
Hawke: A steam bath is more like it. With that suit on Brittney Beahr will be boiling.
Randy: All for the honor and prestige to have a shot at the X*Crown Championship.
Zoran cracks his neck, grabbing his ribs which had the new athletic tape for muscle therapy on them, in a Z pattern nonetheless. Beahr pulls herself up on the apron and Zoran rushes her with a knee attack, but Brittney fumbles through the ropes and somehow rolls into the ring and behind Zoran in a bumbling clutz way. Zoran looks left and right before turning around to Brittney on one knee, pushing her Bear head up over her eyebrows for a better view. Zoran launches forward and goes for a grapevine on the neck of the CAR member with his free arm, and is headbutted in the left arm he has in a sling. Brittney runs at the ropes and springs towards Zoran, hitting a lumpy cross body!
Hawke: Zoran is down and Brittney is going for the pin!
Randy: No way this is over so soon.
Hawke: I have seen crazier endings.
One!
Two-
Kick out!
Brittney is pushed off a rather annoyed Zoran as he grumbles and gets to his feet. There is a hesitation in Beahr’s eyes, who really is out of her element. A costly mistake as Brittney is kicked in the gut and receives an uppercut to the chin, sending the bear costume head swinging backwards like a bobblehead. Beahr is send to the ropes and is met with a shoulder clothesline using his good arm. Zoran immediately grabs the arm of Brittney and drags her to the corner, stomping her three times before he walks confidently across the ring and runs back towards her, drop kicking the CAR star in the chest with everything he has!
Hawke: The bear suit padding may be the only upside for Brittney here.
Randy: Not with how Zoran is working tonight. The man is on a mission!
Hawke: He has one chance, if he wants to be the X*Crown Champion again.
Zoran lifts Brittney up and begins to toss her through the ropes into the hot spring. A rope hug results in a Winnie the Pooh branch swinging for a new batch of honey. Brittney is hardly able to keep hold and drops to her knees on the apron. Zoran sees this and goes to grab her by the costume’s cap. As though pulling her by her hair, the Final Boss uses his only good arm and wrenches Beahr to her feet. Zoran shakes his head, a flash of humility as he expresses his own quarrels for what he has to do tonight. What he has to push himself to if he expects another shot. That weight and the grocery list of injuries he was competing with showed the lengths the Final Boss would go. A fool’s errand some would argue, yet that humility was all it took for Beahr to shake the hand off her stuffed costume. Delivering a headbutt, Brittney knocks Zoran back and goes to enter the ring. Zoran dashes in with a knee to her shoulder and neck area!
Randy: Brutal knee to stop Beahr on the ropes!
Hawke: She may be out cold!
Pushing Beahr back, Zoran places her head between his thighs in a piledriver position. With one good arm grabbing the top rope, Zoran springs on his heels three times and then dashes backwards towards the ropes, running full sprint across the ring at Beahr, Zoran leaps over the top rope and sunset flip power bombs Brittney with one arm!
Hawke: Splash! Onsen meet XHF. I am sorry if we don’t leave the venue the way we found it. It’s happened… a lot.
Randy: That’s why we have Xtreme Insurance LLC. If they cover the XHF, they’ll cover any one!
Hawke: I cannot imagine how this referee is going to handle this one.
Randy: Wet and wild, as expected. (Burp)
Zoran emerges from the hot springs with his sling sagging, soaked to the last hair. Floating up moments after, Beahr lies motionless with her eyes closed. The suit she wore like it was her born skin, begins to darken. Beahr begins to sink as the weight of the suit is swallowed by the onsen. Zoran shakes his head, begrudgingly pulls her from the water and swims towards land. As he pulls her up, gritting his teeth, Brittney spits water in the Final Boss’ face!
Randy: If you ain’t cheating, you ain’t trying!
Hawke: Brittney Beahr took Zoran off guard and it paid off.
Randy: And smashes him with that porcelain bucket like thing!
Brittney Beahr blindsides Zoran with the pale up against the right side of his cheek and eye area. The blast and result was lost on Beahr as she retreated in a frantic haste, putting distance between her and Zoran. As she ducked, dodged, and dived away, she was hurling any object in arms distance. A woven chair, a drink serving tray with two martinis, a copy of Steve Awesome’s new movie, and shoves a towel staff member as she scatters into a lush forest.
Hawke: Is that allowed?
Randy: Anything goes from how I heard it.
Hawke: Zoran is recovering and getting chewed out by the referee.
Randy: Something about they have to be near the ring or Onsen to have a fall count.
Zoran shakes his head at the referee and puts his right arm around his back, cuffing the neck as he talks to him in a polite manner. The referee repeating a ‘no’ with his head shaking, to which Zoran grabs the ear of the referee and pulls him into the jungle. The boiling springs were bubbling behind them as Zoran appears with the referee in front of him like a shield. A slow pace as he goes left to right scanning the plant thriving terrain. Insects and vermin alike scattered at his feet. The zebra was shaking in his chucks, sweating profusely, as the Zoran hostage situation of his participation to start a search party for Beahr. Zoran however was well aware this match didn’t end without a fall being recorded by an official. The rules never specified where the fall had to be made. As Zoran releases the zebra ear lock of doom, a swoosh is heard around them. Bushes rustle as an unseen force makes its presence known. Zoran goes back to back with the zebra, adjusting his sling and balling up his right fist.
Hawke: I’m glad we got the comfy seats.
Randy: And the free beer! (Burp)
Hawke: There is no end in sight out there. I imagine Brittney feels at home, after living in North Carolina’s forests.
Out of the air drops Brittney Beahr who is clutching a branch. A less than graceful landing as she hits a bush and rolls out of it with her legs folded up over her shoulders. Like a melting candle, she drops over to her left side and holds her chest. The air driven out of her, Zoran sees the opening. Darting for the bushes, he forgets about the noise the zebra and him heard moments prior. Snorting and grunting followed by a scream and a catapulted Beahr are orchestra in a chaotic second. Zoran leaps out of the bushes as a wild boar runs behind him. Drop toe hold on the boat! Zoran sends the boar to the dirt and gets back up. A punt to the rear and the boar is sent scampering off whimpering. Zoran turns his attention to Beahr, who is no more than a disposed of candy wrapper at this point. Locking on a single leg Boston crab, Beahr is quick to smack the ground and tap out.
Bonnie Jenkins: Winner of the semi-final End of Days singles tournament match, ZORAN SAINOVIC!
Hawke: Zoran releases the submission and is declared the winner! What a turn of events.
Randy: Bears don’t fly and we saw that first hand tonight.
Hawke: Brittney put up a good fight. The Final Boss, Zoran Sainovic was not to be denied.
J-RoK STANDARD MATCH
Electric Funeral Deathmatch
Carnivore vs. Shun Watanabe
Electric Funeral Deathmatch
Carnivore vs. Shun Watanabe
Fumio Daemura: "(This match is set for one fall and is an Electric Funeral Death Match! In order to win this match you must pin or submit your opponent. Introducing first, from Tokyo, Japan... representing UZUMAKI! He is Carnivore! And his opponent from Utashinai, Hokkaido, Japan... "The Butcher" Shun Watanabe!)"
We would see both men fighting in a mock up "funeral" inside the ring. With caskets and electrified weapons throughout. Both men would start things off the only way a J-ROK match could start. And no, not with a head lock or tie up, but ultra fucking violence! Shun would smash a tombstone across the head of Carnivore as Carnivore would retaliate with an electrified chair! Both would use their fighting spirit early on, fighting back and having moment after moment in this hotly contested match up.
We'd see Carnivore hit Watanabe with Carnivore's Last Hunt into a casket. It'd get only a 2.9 though, almost winning him the match up. Shun would come back after eating the brunt of the offense throughout the beginning of the match. Watanabe would hit him with a bloody cross and then set him up for a splash mountain through a casket for the win.
Fumio Daemura: "(Your winner of this match is Shun Watanabe!)"
The camera at ringside shows several fish sitting at ringside on tables. The writer would list them all but he doesn't want to spoil any fish until they come into use.
Randy: God. It smells worse than my ex-girlfriend's nethers here.
Hawke: TMI.
Randy: This is going to be a banger of a match though, the last time this stipulation was in use? End of Days Shipwrecked, where Team Viper beat the Boston-Newark Connection!
Hawke: Ugh. I wish I could forget about Team Viper. But let's throw it to Bonnie to start our first semi-finals match!
Bonnie Jenkins: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Bonnie Jenkins: And is an ALL THE FISH MATCH where the winners advance to the finals of the Tag Team Annihilator Tournament!
Crowd: WOOOOOOO!
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing first, they come in tonight at a combined SIX HUNDRED AND TWENTY POUNDS! Moloch and Mormo, THE OBLIVION DEATH SQUAD!
Archenemy - In the Eye of the Storm blasts across the speakers of the arena. The lights go down with a wail of sirens, and searchlights sweep over the crowd before focusing on the ramp as the music hits. The pyros go off with an explosion of flames and sparks, and stomping side by side the Oblivion Death Squad emerges from the back. Behind them follows not Donzig or Sinclair Godfrey as per usual, but instead Jesse Jamester of Pillar of Violence fame. Dressed in all black! The ODS pause at the bottom of the ramp, glaring about before they storm the ring. Yelling as they pace around the inside of the ropes as they wait for their opponents. Jesse standing in their corner, arms folded and looking menacing.
Hawke: The Oblivion Death Squad is here and ready for a fight! After steamrolling J-RoK's Black Knife Cabal last week they're in deep for their semi-finals match!
Randy: But what is Jesse Jamester doing out here?
Hawke: We haven't seen him since his loss to Donzig on August 12th at the Parade of 1000 Demons opening round.
Randy: Look at his eyes... they used to be icy blue but now they're jet black!
Bonnie Jenkins: And their opponents, they come in tonight at a combined FOUR HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-NINE POUNDS! Curtis Kanyon and El Combatiente, EL BANG! HERMANOS!
A DJ Marshmello crafted mash-up of The Game’s “One Blood” and Metallica's "Don't Tread on Me" plays over the PA as Curtis and El Combatiente emerge from the entryway wearing their Fireside tag team titles. Curtis also has a sledgehammer over one shoulder. El Combatiente's manager Javier follows shortly behind them. They look around soaking up their surrounding. Curtis hoists his hammer into the air. El Combatiente breaks into a full sprint for the ring and slides in. Curtis and Javier slowly walk to ringside and chat. El Combatiente stretches in the ring preparing for the match to begin as Curtis climbs a turnbuckle and points to the crowd with his hammer, then hoists it straight up into the air and yells "BANG!"
Randy: El BANG! Hermanos punched their ticket by beating Tilted Cartridges!
Hawke: That match could have gone either way but the better team prevailed. And now they're in for a tough match against the Oblivion Death Squad!
Randy: El Combatiente is the lightest man in this match! Each of these other guys weighs close to or more than 300 pounds and he barely comes in at 200 and some change!
Hawke: It's not always the size that matters most Randy. EC might be small but where he lacks in size he makes up for in speed!
Randy: Zolothoch says that size matters...
DING DING DING!
Everyone in the ring sans the ref rolls out of the ring. Each runs to a table to grab a fish. Moloch catches himself one blue whiting while Mormo snags a morid cod! Kanyon picks up an oriental loach and EC picks up an olive flounder. They all roll back into the ring, each person defensively holding their fish while eyeing the other team. Waiting for someone to strike! ODS are quick to discard their fish selections and double booting Combatiente in the face! They turn to Kanyon who wallops Mormo with his loach! Mormo drops and Moloch begins to brawl with Kanyon! EC tries to climb back to his feet but Mormo grabs him on the floor and they begin to tumble and brawl to the outside. EC hits a series of dazzling moves on Mormo, stunning him for EC to climb on the apron. He goes for a hurricanrana but Mormo catches him, he slams EC ribs-first into the ring post before powerbombing him into a table of fish!
Hawke: The XHF has bought various aquatic life to utilize in this match! Whatever doesn’t get used will be cooked next week at EOD Fire’s pre-show barbecue!
Randy: But before we can eat next week, we need things to get a little fishy on the water week.
Hawke: Randy I swear to God…
In the ring, Moloch has Kanyon backed into a corner and is bludgeoning him with heavy punches! Kanyon eats all of this before clapping Moloch’s ears, he stuns the smaller member of the Oblivion Death Squad and delivers a stiff boot to his abdomen! Kanyon then lifts Moloch for a suplex! Sending him to the ground! Kanyon puts boots to asses and stomps a mudhole in Moloch! He pauses to pose for the crowd and turns back around to keep working on his giant opponent. Moloch curses in his native tongue as Kanyon lifts him to his feet and whips him into the ropes, going for an early BANG! But Moloch JUMPS over the attempted gore and kicks Kanyon in the face! A high-thrust kick sends the former president into the ropes! Kanyon comes back and Moloch blasts him with a double axe handle! Kanyon is on the floor and Mormo rolls a large goblin shark into the ring!
Randy: BANG! Hermanos look like they’re in trouble!
Hawke: They’re on the receiving end of an ODS mugging and now Moloch has a dangerous-looking fish in his hands.
Randy: Mongo is in my headset telling me that’s a shark! They let a shark into this match! I thought this was an All The FISH match, not an All The AQUATIC ANIMALS WE CAN GET OUR HANDS ON match!
Hawke: Oh shiiiiii-
Kanyon is oblivious to the fact that Moloch is standing behind him with one of the evilest-looking creatures of the sea at hand! Kanyon gets to his feet and GETS SPEARED WITH THE SNO UT OF THE SHARK! It doesn’t penetrate like a knife from Zoran but it damn sure hurts like hell as it’s jammed into Kanyon’s belly! Moloch opens the mouth of the shark and stuffs his fist into it, it’s uncomfortable as hell but he uses it like a large club attached to his arm! He beats Kanyon around in the ring, really going to town on the former FIRESIDE Tag Team Champion before El Combatiente comes in off the top rope with a stomp to Moloch’s arm! The jaw clamps down and blood begins to pour out of the shark as Moloch curses and screams, trying to remove the shark from his arm!
Randy: Usage of that shark really came back to bite Moloch in the ass, right?
Hawke: I wish I could run this booth alone.
El Combatiente superkicks Moloch to the floor where he works to pry the shark off his arm. Mormo rolls in on the other side and eats a kick to the belly from Kanyon! The former president beckons EC over and together they swing Mormo up and over with a double suplex! Kanyon picks Mormo up and whips him into a corner, then gets on all fours as EC runs from corner to corner. WHISPER IN THE WIND! EC goes for the pin on Mormo, one, two, Moloch pulls the ref out of the ring!
Hawke: EC had it! EC definitely had Mormo down for the three-count!
Randy: But Moloch was thinking smarter! If you can’t break the pin, break the ref!
The ref berates Moloch on the outside and the BANG! Hermanos take the opportunity to start a ruthless mugging! Javier even jumps onto the apron, about to join in on the fun before Jesse hops up on the apron on the other side! This makes Javier nearly shit his pants and he jumps off the apron. Kanyon also sees Jesse hop up on the apron, and he steps over to the ropes and sits on the apron asking Jesse to get a taste of the action! But Jesse just stares at Kanyon with those black voids he calls eyes. He hops off the apron just in time for Moloch to slide in and blast Kanyon with a long-finned pike! EC steps up but Mormo grabs his ankle and Moloch runs at him for a splash! He crushes poor EC between his body and the knees Mormo put up to his back! The ref counts one, and two, and JAVIER PULLS THE REF OUT THIS TIME!
Randy: And Javier playing the same games the ODS were earlier!
Hawke: Yeah, but he’s not in the match like they are! Jesse seems to want to have a word with him!
And he does, Jesse is slithering over to Javier’s blindside, picking up a large yellow tang on his way over. He lifts the fish high above his head and like a barbed wire-wrapped steel chair, it comes crashing down across Javier’s skull! Javier collapses at ringside and Jesse marches away.
Back in the ring, Kanyon is up and uppercuts Moloch as hard as he can! Moloch goes down and Kanyon lands a Goldust neck chop to Mormo! EC pulls himself to his feet and he climbs to the top rope, Kanyon is in a corner as Mormo is stumbling up. BANG! Right outta his shoes and Kanyon points to EC, he jumps off the top rope! 630 SENTON!
Hawke: BANG! y GIRAR!
Randy: But it doesn’t look like they’re done!
EC looks to still be stalking Mormo, who practically no-sold those moves and is climbing to his feet. Kanyon picks Mormo up in a giant powerbomb and EC looks ready to nail him with a springboard-shining wizard! Perhaps looking to send a message to the tag champs! But suddenly Moloch comes in with a barbeled dragonfish and clamps its jaws down on Kanyon’s arm! Mormo falls on the former president as he drops all that weight on him. Now holding his arm in pain!
Randy: Oh gee! And now Kanyon has bit the dust!
Hawke: That dragonfish is known as deadly poisonous within the animal kingdom. Thank god Mongo made sure the poisonous spines and sacks were removed.
But no sooner than Hawke says that Kanyon drops to the floor and begins convulsing. The referee is quick to throw up an X and medical personnel run down to the ring and pull Kanyon out of the ring. Secret service floods ringside and they begin to beat down that dragonfish!
Randy: What were you saying about “Thank god Mongo made sure the poisonous stuff was removed?”
Hawke: No comment.
EC is now alone in the ring with the Death Squad, they shout in their native tongues. EC shrugs and says a few words in his native tongue before he sprints and shotgun dropkicks Mormo out of the ring! Moloch snarls and runs at EC, leveling him with a lariat! EC lands on the ground and Moloch snarls, picking EC up and putting him in position for the ODS driver! He lifts EC up, but EC wiggles his way into a hurricanrana position! But he can’t commit to the swing down, Moloch grabs him and lifts him up for a lethal powerbomb! But as Moloch swings him down EC overcommits and gets Moloch off his feet, rolling him up with a Hart Family Victory Roll! One! Two! Three! He gets him!
Bonnie Jenkins: The winners of this match and advancing to the finals of the Tag Team Annihilator tournament, EL BANG! HERMANOS!
Randy: The BANG! Bros advance! We are guaranteed a Bros finale!
Hawke: Yes, but will they face Steve and Rat? Or Spike and PRICE?
Randy: Find out next time on XHF-BALL-Z!
Hawke: No, find out in an hour.
El Combatiente celebrates his win before running out to check on Kanyon, who's been administered an antidote and gives EC a thumbs up. Meanwhile ODS slinks to the back. Jesse following still in that trance-like state.
MUSHI: “(Oh boy! It’s finally time for our own Dylan Black to take the fight to Jack Diamond!)”
Psycho KGB: “(A battle of the Icons. This promises to be a brutal match!)”
Fumio Daemura: “(The following match is a semifinals match in the End of Days 2022 singles tournament and is a Davey Jones’s Locker Death Match! To win you must lock your opponent in the stinky locker at ringside and dump it into the pool nearby!)”
Sure enough, outside the ring to the right side of the entrance is a pool and next to it is the rustiest locker you’ve ever seen. The stink lines coming off it are actually visible as a distortion in the air around it, like heat off a blacktop on a 100 degree day. Inside the locker are some dirty socks and underwear on the ground, some workout clothes on a shelf, some gym towels and gym clothing hanging up to dry, and a layer of grime all over it.
Psycho KGB: “(It smells like they painted that locker with spoiled milk and tiled the floor with rotten eggs.)”
The heavy strums of a guitar play as the lights dim and swirl around the arena.
You say I need psychotherapy
Now you're making me mad
I say you quit trying to fix me
Or this is gonna get bad
Now you're making me mad
I say you quit trying to fix me
Or this is gonna get bad
All the spotlights convene on the stage where a figure rises from the stage. He slowly spins with his arm outstretched, the hand just slightly crackling with electricity.
If you want a battle, I'll give you a war
Think you control me, don't know what you're in for
Keep coming at me, keep coming, you'll see
Keep pushing, keep pushing, pushing on me
IF YOU WANT CRAAAAAAAAAAZY!
I'LL GIVE YOU PSYCHOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Think you control me, don't know what you're in for
Keep coming at me, keep coming, you'll see
Keep pushing, keep pushing, pushing on me
IF YOU WANT CRAAAAAAAAAAZY!
I'LL GIVE YOU PSYCHOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Dylan flips his hair back as the lights come up with the chorus. Pausing at the top of the stage to the boos from the crowd, he offers no more than a smirk before walking down the ramp, a few ballsy fans pelting him with some trash as he makes sure to savor every second of this. He gets to where the ramp meets the ringside area and pauses, bouncing on the balls of his feet before walking to the steps. He gets up them and gets into the ring, standing in the center. Antonio Katō stands on the apron, microphone in hand as the music dies down.
Antonio Katō: And now in the ring at this time... HE STANDS AT SIX-FEET-THREE-INCHES TALL, and weighed in tonight at a slim TWO-HUNDRED-AND-SEVEN-POUNDS, he is the SUPREME PILLAR OF VIOLENCE, the BOSTON CYBORG MANIAC, and you all know him as the GREATEST X*CROWN CHAMPION OF THE XHF NETWORK ERA! THE REIGNING, DEFENDING, UNDISPUTED XHF HARDCORE CHAMPION! THE DAAAAAAAAAEMON! OF MAAAAAAAYHEM! DYLAAAAAAAAAAAN! BLAAAAAAAAAACK!
Dylan raises his arm in the air, a fist in the pose of E.V.E. He turns to his corner, leaning into it while waiting for the match to start.
Psycho KGB: “(Poor Fumio didn’t even get to announce him on this one show for us on the global network stage.)”
MUSHI: “(Antonio is very pushy…)”
The house lights go out as the crowd begins to buzz.
"Top, to the top, ain't never gonna stop
To the top, to the top, ain't never gonna stop"
To the top, to the top, ain't never gonna stop"
Pyro explodes as the chorus of "Legendary" by Skillet begins to play and the crowd erupts into cheers and chants begin to break out of "Icons" and "Diamond Club"
Jack Diamond emerges on the stage with a huge grin on his face, nodding his head to the beat of the music. He adjusts his leather jacket and soaks in the moment. He mouths the word "Legendary" and begins to make his way to the ring acknowledging the fans as only Jack Diamond can do. As he gets to the ring, he climbs the stairs and walks the apron over to the far turnbuckle. He ascends the outside of the corner and plays to the crowd as more pyro goes off.
"Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, legendary"
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, legendary"
Fumio Daemura: “(And his opponent, from Las Vegas, Nevada in the United States of America. At 5’11” and 195 pounds … he is the Ace of Spades, The Icon … JACK FUCKING DIAMOND!!!)”
Jack jumps down into the ring and heads to the center before throwing up the Diamond sign to loud cheers. He removes his leather jacket, handing it to the timekeeper before heading to his corner and stretching and preparing for the match.
Psycho KGB: “(Fans may notice that Jack has his left shoulder bandaged up and with kinesio tape on it.)”
MUSHI: “(This is due to the lingering effects of the assault by Poena at End of Days week 1! How will it affect his match tonight?)”
END OF DAYS SINGLES TOURNAMENT SEMIFINAL MATCH
Davey Jones's Locker Deathmatch
There's a dirty, stinky old locker that belonged to Davey Jones. You must put your opponent inside of it and dump it into the water outside the ring to win.
Dylan Black vs. Jack Diamond
The bell rings and Dylan and Jack push off their respective corners and move to the center of the ring. Jack takes note of the missing left eye and arm of his fellow icon, clocking this info. He also makes sure to note which limb is still susceptible to pain … the right leg. Dylan looks at the left shoulder of Jack and smirks. Dylan extends his right robot arm for a handshake. Jack raises an eyebrow and shrugs. They shake hands. There is a decided crackling in the air … and Dylan’s smile fades a bit as he looks down. The electricity coursing through his hand is being blocked by an insulated glove Jack has on. Jack smirks and shrugs again. Dylan just smiles and shakes his head. They immediately begin raining down punches on each other. Eventually the metal hand of Dylan gets the advantage and pushes Jack back to a corner. He unloads with a pair of right hands to the gut before launching Diamond out of the corner. The Original Icon catches himself on the far corner and leaps up into the air over the charging Black. Jack catches him as he rebounds from the chest bump on the turnbuckle and shows off that uncharacteristic strength with a German Suplex, launching Dylan across the ring. Jack shakes out the shoulder, satisfied that it is holding up well. Dylan rolls to his feet holding the back of his neck. The Ace of Spades wastes no time ducking to his right and laying in some shots to the left side of Dylan. As the cyborg assassin tries to spin to catch Jack, Diamond stays a step ahead on the unguarded and blind side of his fellow icon.
Psycho KGB: “(Oh I see, Jack is taking advantage of Dylan’s … handicap … as it stands. He is attacking from the side where Dylan has no arm to defend or eye to catch his moves!)”
MUSHI: “(Nobody ever accused Jack of being unintelligent in the ring.)”
A flurry of kicks and Dylan finally unleashes a stiff kick of his own to the inside of the left leg of Jack with his robotic left leg. Jack stumbles just enough to allow Dylan to point his right hand at the chest of his icon buddy and blast him with a shot from the air cannon, sending Diamond sprawling to the mat holding his sternum in agony.
MUSHI: “(HEY! Is that legal?)”
Psycho KGB: “(Dylan added that weapon for his match with Donzig. And this is J-RoK. Everything is legal … in the ring.)”
The XHF Hardcore Champ stalks his opponent and uses his metal leg to stomp on Jack’s left ankle, then foot, then knee, then hip. The ace of spades rolls out of the way and under the ropes. He pulls up on the ropes and the Boston Brawler charges in with a stiff right hand to the head. Jack reels, but the Carolinian manages to hold the top rope and uses the momentum to launch himself into the ring like a torpedo. The former Visual Kai champ however intercepts him with a headbutt to the left shoulder. Both men drop to the mat, Jack grabs the shoulder in pain as Dylan looks dazed from this strike. Slow to their feet, both men stumble towards the other. Taking advantage, the hardcore champ again begins to strike at the left shoulder with forearm shots. Jack shoves him back and plants a huge dropkick on the chest of the former rumble winner. Flipping to land on his hands and knees, Diamond charges with a shoulder tackle sending Black into the corner hard. A few rams from the right shoulder into Dylan’s gut has the newest icon reeling. Diamond grabs the arm of Black and yanks him into a snap suplex! He holds the grapple and swings his hips, coming to a standing base, and hits a falcon arrow!
MUSHI: “(Jack really starting to find his groove here. I wonder how the shoulder will hold up.)”
Psycho KGB: “(It’s going to come down to endurance here, neither man will allow themselves to be lockered up without being beaten pretty soundly.)”
The TAPOUT star stomps on the right leg of his opponent, getting a guttural growl of pain from the cyborg. A quick foot DDT to the right foot has Jack standing tall over his fellow former two-time X*Crown champion. Diamond now hooks the leg and falls to the side, wishboning the helpless Dylan. Black grabs his groin in pain. He then plants his right hand on the mat and as Diamond comes in for a senton, he fires a blast of air and is sent rolling quickly out of the ring with a thud to the floor as Jack crashes and burns on the mat holding his lower back. As he slowly climbs to his feet, he searches for the enemy who vanished. As he sees Dylan slowly standing up outside the ring … he charges and slides under the bottom rope with a baseball slide dropkick to the back of Dylan’s head. The Boston born brawler is sent careening into the pool. Jack takes a moment to shake out the cobwebs and stretch his back. As Dylan climbs out of the pool Jack charges off the opposing ropes. Dylan stumbles to the ring and as he reaches to the middle rope to pull himself up, Jack comes off with a tiger feint kick through the ropes, swinging himself back into the ring as Dylan drops face first to the ring apron and then to the floor.
Psycho KGB: “(A calculated strategy, and not giving Dylan any time to recover.)”
MUSHI: “(That was a beautiful feint kick!)”
Dylan stays down with his hand under the ring for a moment before slowly trying to stand. He backs up to avoid another kick but Diamond comes flying over the top rope for a cross body. And the Hardcore Champ earns his title by intercepting Jack with a baseball bat shot to the exposed stomach. Jack crashes to the outside mat hard, turtling up as he holds his gut. Dylan kicks him with his metal leg in the ribs and Jack collapses onto his back. THWACK! Bat shot to the gut, THWACK! Bat shot to the gut. Jack coughs up blood. A sick smile crosses the face of the daemon of mayhem. He twirls the bat in his hand and then kisses it. Jack rolls into the pool to escape. Dylan stalks his friend. A hand grabs the edge of the pool and Dylan swings, but the hand recoils as Jack submerges, avoiding the bat. This process repeats itself. But on the third try, Jack grabs the bat and yanks it free from Dylan. Black however just charges his hand with electricity and sticks it into the pool. Jack convulses in the pool as steam rises from the edge. This only stops when Dylan is struck by a flying bat that Jack somehow managed to hurl at him. Jack crawls out the other side of the pool, sputtering and coughing up blood and chlorinated water.
MUSHI: “(He could have killed him!)”
Psycho KGB: “(The water protect but also the water conduct.)”
The Daemon of Mayhem shakes off the strike to his shoulder and begins to march around the pool. He grabs Jack by the waistband and neck and slings him towards the locker. Jack instinctively drops to the floor and skids to a halt in front of the locker. Dylan charges in for a punt but Jack dodges and shoves him at the locker. The face of the hardcore champ goes green as he inhales the smell of the disgusting locker. He stumbles out but a shot from the bat crashes down on his cybernetic bicep. Sparks arc from it and Dylan just smirks at Jack. Jack goes wide-eyed and just holds out the bat for Dylan. Black laughs and grabs it, yanking it away from Diamond … only to get an ICONKICK to the face! Black crashes into the locker and immediately dry heaves. The OG Icon sprints in and tries to close the locker but Dylan uses his robotic arm to block it. Jack lets go of the door just before electricity courses through the arm of Dylan and the door of the locker. Dylan steps out but Jack enzuigiris the door right into the limbless shoulder of Dylan sending him stumbling into the pool. A shower of sparks erupts and Dylan’s arm goes dark.
Psycho KGB: “(OH! Jack found a way to stop getting electrocuted! What a brilliant attack!)”
MUSHI: “(Dylan is shaking out his arm but there’s no lightning left!)”
Jack reaches in and grabs Dylan to hoist him from the pool. Dylan swings his metal arm down on the left shoulder and Jack drops him … back into the pool. Dylan floats on his back for a moment in agitation as Jack stumbles back holding his injured shoulder. The hardcore champ emerges from the pool, hair matted to his head and neck, and charges in. Jack instinctively lifts a knee strike to the jaw and drops Dylan with a DDT on the floor. Jack leaps onto the apron and comes off with the coup de gras!
Psycho KGB: “(JACKPOT FOR JACK!)”
MUSHI: “(Dylan’s spine has looked better …)”
Double foot stomp right to the spine and Dylan is writhing on the floor on abject agony. Jack shakes his left arm out and hooks Dylan in a front chancery. He drags the limp cyborg back towards the locker. Dylan comes to life and reverses with a northern lights suplex. Both men stay down as Jack begins to roll towards the ring. Black pushes up to his hand and knees, and eyes his foe. Jack is first to his feet and comes at Dylan with a spinning heel kick. Black absorbs the hit and spins around, using the momentum to hit a thunderous spinning back fist with his metal hand. Jack’s face sprays blood as he drops like a sack of potatoes. Dylan cracks his neck and wipes the blood from his own nose. He steps over Jack and locks the left shoulder into a fujiwara arm bar!
MUSHI: “(Listen to the beautiful symphony of misery Jack is singing!)”
Psycho KGB: “(That shoulder is going to need surgery if Dylan has his way. And this is his friend …)”
Dylan really wrenches on the arm bar. Jack claws at his shoulder with his right hand. He begins to try and crawl his way to anything that can help. Dylan sits down on the shoulder. He’s listening for a pop. He wants to hear it pop. He interlocks his fingers into Jack’s and wrenches back even harder. It’s coming. Here it is … POP! Dylan releases the hold and slumps over to the ground. Jack pulls his arm away and rolls up in a ball.
MUSHI: “(Uh … what?)”
Psycho KGB: “(In Jack’s right arm. It’s the baseball bat. He clobbered Dylan in the back of the head!)”
Dylan is lights out but Jack can’t do anything about it. He is cradling that left shoulder and favoring his lower back as he rocks on the ground. He appears to be talking to himself as he inches his way towards the ring apron. Jack pulls to his feet and keeps muttering before a familiar look overcomes his face. His eyes glaze and his mouth curls into a snarl. Dylan is slowly shaking his head and coming back to the land of the living. Unfortunately Jack just hauls off and punts him right in the nose for his trouble. Dylan now grabs his broken nose as Jack, left arm dangling, twirls the bat in his right hand. He mouths something to Dylan as he kneels in front of him and uses the bat under the jaw of Dylan to lift his head to look him eye to eye. He pulls back and swings like Big Papi!
MUSHI: “(OH EM GEE HE JUST BEHEADED DYLAN!)”
Psycho KGB: “(No, Dylan blocked it with his robotic arm. )”
Nonplussed by this, Jack swings over and over and over in a murderous roar as he shatters the bat into splinters and managers to dent the metal arm. Jack grabs the metal arm and hits a dragon screw arm whip sending it into the mat. Dylan grunts in pain as he figures out that Jack is trying to remove the offending limb. Jack sits Dylan up on his knees and begins slamming kick after kick into the chest of the Boston-born champion. Jack smirks and laughs as he reddens the chest of his opponent. Finally he pulls Dylan to his feet and hooks for the Stacked Deck! But Dylan pulls out of the hold and hits the most desperate and painful of low blows to the raging icon.
Psycho KGB: “(OOOOOFFFF!)”
MUSHI: “(Hmm … that looked like it hurt.)”
Jack’s eyes refill with color … he is snapped back to his senses … and immediately flops to the ground singing soprano.
MUSHI: “(Maybe Dakota won’t want more children so this won’t be as bad as it looked?)”
Psycho KGB: “(That hit so hard I felt it…)”
Black takes a moment to make sure his arm is still where it needs to be. He shakes it out and pushes back to his feet. He takes a moment to find a rope from under the ring. He ties it around the locker and looks around. He sees a pulley winch for the stage crew and ties the rope through it and pulls the locker towards the ring.
Psycho KGB: “(What brilliance! He’s set up the locker to be yanked into the water by that winch with the push of a button!)”
Dylan smugly pockets the remote and walks back over to Jack. He pulls him up and slams him shoulder first into the steel steps. He then pulls him back and hoists him up. And drops him with a shoulderbreaker on the knee. Jack howls in pain. Dylan catches his breath and wipes the blood from his face. He plants his metal foot on the lower spine of Jack and begins to grind it. Jack swats his leg away by rolling over and then catches the stomp toward his gut. He pulls the leg and Dylan falls backwards. Jack slowly pulls to his feet and reaches down but Black kicks him in the knees with his legs. Jack collapses again. Dyl kips up and laughs. He hooks Jack in a front headlock and looks for a DDT but Jack on instinct, pulls back and leaps up. CUTTER!
MUSHI: “(OH GOD HE HIT IT! THE STACKED DECK!)”
Psycho KGB: “(Dylan is face down and out.)”
Jack pants, and breathes, and pants, and looks at Dylan still wriggling around. He looks up at the top rope … and he climbs the steps! He climbs to the top turnbuckle and signals to the crowd for a 450 splash!
Psycho KGB: “(No he wouldn’t go shuffled deck to the outside!)”
MUSHI: “(I mean, it certainly looks that way.)”
Jack lines up and leaps for the 450 splash! Dylan raises his arm and fires an air cannon shot. The blast hits Jack mid flight and Jack’s knees crash to the floor as his back bends back and his shoulders also slam on the floor. He is bent back like a gymnast and screams in agony. The blast stopped him from fully rotating and instead of landing in a splash he landed next to Dylan bent like an accordion.
Psycho KGB: “(OH MY GOD HE MIGHT BE DEAD!)”
Dylan slowly climbs to his feet. He grabs the neck of Jack and pulls him forward into a kneeling position … then drops him face first to the floor … and hits the DYNAMIC OUTRO! Jack is out cold. Dylan slings the limp body into the locker and slams it shut … then pushes the button and the winch reels the locker into the pool.
DING DING DING!
Fumio Daemura: “(Your winner and advancing to the finals of the End of Days tournament … THE DAEMON OF MAYHEM… THE XHF HARDCORE CHAMPION … DYLAN BLACK!)”
J-RoK STANDARD MATCH
No Holds Barred Match
E.V.E. (Dylan Black and Big Bad Wolf) vs. SKY Force (Haley Grimes and Nausicaa Suzuki)
No Holds Barred Match
E.V.E. (Dylan Black and Big Bad Wolf) vs. SKY Force (Haley Grimes and Nausicaa Suzuki)
MUSHI: "(This match has been brewing for a while. These two groups have had more bad blood than blood bank!)"
Psycho KGB: "(The no holds barred stipulation is only a formality. We all know that with or without that stipulation given, these four would push one another past their limits.)"
MUSHI: "(You have to wander just how match the last match is going to take on Dylan. He went through hell just to beat Jack Diamond. Now he's got another tough fight going against two of SKY Force's most powerful members.)"
Psycho KGB: "(Dylan's used to these high stakes situations though. Hayley beat him in his third match the night they fought last time. Now this time it's his second one, back to back. If you ask me, something fishy is going on!)"
Fumio Daemura: "(This match is a No Holds Barred Match and is set for one fall! Introducing the first team, She is one half of the Super Duos Champions... Big Bad Wolf! And he is the XHF Hardcore Champion... Dylan Black! And their opponents, Nausica Suzuki and the J-ROK Visual Kei Champion... Hayley Grimes!!)"
The bell rings and the match starts off as one might think, given the circumstances. Suzuki and Wolf would brawl with one another back and forth as Black and Grimes would duke it out. Dylan would throw out Hayley as Nausica would throw out the wolf. Leaving the two in the ring to have a stare down. Suzuki has been waiting a long time to get her hand on these three and finally she gets to do something she's been waiting to do for over a year. She punches Dylan Black right in the face!
Lefts and rights. The crowd pops with every punch as the messeiah gets a taste of his own medicine. Suzuki gets him into a corner before throwing him across the ring into the corner opposite of them. She charges him and hits him with a dream crusher big boot. Dylan pops over the turnbuckle and out onto the floor. Suzuki celebrates as the fans cheer her on. She turns around and gets blasted by Big Bad Wolf. Getting hit with that nasty big boot stomp of hers. She'd pick her back up and clock her with a short armed lariat. Still holding onto her wrist, she yanks her up and drops her with a pop up samoan drop.
She gets up and gets hit by Hayley. The boos turn to cheers as the champion goes wild! Hitting her with a kendo stick. It snaps and barely phases BBW. If anything it pissed her off more. She asks for more as Grimes smashes a chair across her head. It breaks into pieces as she starts to feel it. She gets hit with another chair and falls down to her knees. Before she can get hit with another, Black comes in with a disaster piece bicycle knee. Suzuki comes in now, dodging a punch and catching a leg. She spins him around and trips him, causing him to fall and accidently hit BBW!
Suzuki rolls up Dylan and gets a two count. Its broken up by Price though! She hits her with a mop! Hayley tries to stop her but gets hit too. The evil trio come in and beat the piss out of Suzuki and Grimes. But before things get too bad, they have some back up! And that back up is Rin Kubo, Shizuku Yamamoto and Charles! All three hit the ring, With Charles diving out of no where and like a fifty pound cannon ball being dropped from the rafters, he drops the wolf like a bad habit. Dar and Dylan are met with a sword and a barbedwire baseball bat. The four fight back and forth, with SKY Force getting the upper hand for a moment.
In all of the chaos though, SKY Force would use their numbers as an advantage, beating down EVE and using the others to hold back Dar and Dylan. Nausica and Hayley would use a Crash Bootycoot/pandemonium finishing combo on BBW! The dogpile cover and count... one! two!! three!!!
Fumio Daemura: "(The winners of this match... Hayley Grimes and Nausicaa Suzuki... SKY Fo-)"
Before Fumio can finish the rest of EVE break free and come into the ring, beating down Suzuki and Grimes. Both groups continue brawling as the screen fades out.
MUSHI: "(This match is over, but the action continues on! We're sorry we can't give you a proper ending, we're out of time!!! See what happens October 28th when we have our fifth anniversary sho-)"