Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2022 0:08:57 GMT -5
The scene cuts in on Julianna DiMaria who is smirking to herself standing among a counterprotest. There are picket signs saying things like “W:UK is stuck in the past!”, “Misogyny is so 1982”, “Chop off the balls of ALL sexists” and “This is the REAL press conference”. Julianna DiMaria walks up to the podium, hears some cheers from the audience in front of her and begins to express her thoughts.
“You’re probably wondering why I am not taking part in that open press conference. Well, let me put it to you in simple terms. I refuse to be around ANY of those misogynist pigs that show me no respect whatsoever just because I’m the opposite gender. Now, don’t get me wrong. This isn’t just some regular ‘feminist rally’ because a subset of that movement has fucked it up for everyone, but I’m not going to stand for it anymore. You know, after hearing some chatter, I am realizing that maybe I DID sign with the wrong XHF company…”
This comment draws a mixed reaction.
“I thought I was going somewhere that’s cutting edge and something with the potential to be special. But… no, I signed with a timewarp with more than half the roster stuck in the 80’s.”
“CANCEL THEM” she hears one of the picketers say.
“Now now… we don’t need to go THAT far! No, we don’t cancel Wrestle: UK. That notion is ridiculous. Instead, we are going to take the fight to them and let them know that to be successful, you can’t be stuck in 1982, you’ve got to be PRESENT and in the NOW and this Battle of Britain match… in spite of the fact that I HAVE to breathe the same air that the nonsensical, repetitive, BORING, MISOGYNIST PIGS breathe… is the best real chance to show that. By the way, unlike MANY of my opponents will certainly do, I’m not going to BORE YOU ALL by running down a list of people in this match one by one and telling you why they won’t win. No, I’m going to PROTEST this company, I’m going to PROTEST the way I’m being treated around here and I am going to PROTEST this embarrassing time warp this company is in! So, we’re going to start by making a list of demands…”
“CHOP OFF ALL OF THEIR BALLS SO THEY WILL DIE!!!!” another picketer in the crowd screams. More than anything, this causes Julianna to roll her eyes.
“...GET OUT!” Julianna yells at the protester. “We are NOT going to fight sexism with sexism! GET OUT!”
Police officers escort the picketer from the premises as Julianna pulls out her list of demands.
“Demand number one: quit treating me like I’m a piece of meat.
Demand number two: I get a god damn rematch for the Commonwealth Championship that I was ROBBED OF when a piece of fucking shit decided to interfere and assault Eron Hunter all because he was a sore loser and couldn’t accept the fact that he lost to him.
Demand number three: A one on one match with said piece of fucking shit so that I can have my revenge.
Demand number four: my own personal COMMONWEALTH REALM! I demand that you give me the island of Tasmania so that I can rip it away from Australia and rename the country the COMMONWEALTH OF JULIANNA!
Okay, maybe that WON’T happen, but by FORCE, partially by winning this Battle of Britain match and eliminating EVERYONE standing in my path… that’s exactly what I am renaming this company to! You see, unlike most of my opponents who are probably going to be stuck in Predictability Island, I’m not going to make this about why they won’t win. I’m going to make this about why I am going to win! For starters, while most of this roster is the same old shit, I am unique and different! I am the epitome of the modern woman’s wrestler. In fact, I am even going to go as far as saying that I am the most MODERN, CUTTING EDGE WRESTLER this company employs! I was BORN from greatness INTO greatness! Considering both of my parents were wrestlers, I should be treated like royalty.
Those of you stuck in that time warp with your sexual harassment locker room talk… you’d all be bowing at my feet and worshipping me if I was a royal! Hypocritical PILLOCKS! Your antics disgust me. This is the match where I go out and prove that I am too good for this company… as if you pieces of garbage with nothing better to say about the female gender don’t do that for me in your own right. And to the other women that are in this match with me? You know why I’m going to win this match and not you? Because you’re too chickenshit to take a stand against this nonsense! You should be here with me protesting this crap too, but you’re not because either you’re too scared or you’re too used to being a housewife that you have no capabilities of thinking for yourselves the way I do.
And that’s what pushes me over the edge: the ability to think forward, the ability to bring a fresh, differing perspective of things, the ability to push the envelope without resporting to the same old, tired nonsense that people don’t want to listen to anymore. Just about everyone else is so fucking archaic that they still use the DDT as a finishing move and they’d try to win their matches with inside cradles and armbars. Hey, do you want to throw in a stegosaurus into this damn thing too considering we want to treat women in this company like we’re still living in the 80’s… the 1780’s that is?
Well when I win that Battle of Britain match.. YOU WILL give me the FUCKING RESPECT I deserve as a wrestler and you WILL be bending the knee to ME!
“You’re probably wondering why I am not taking part in that open press conference. Well, let me put it to you in simple terms. I refuse to be around ANY of those misogynist pigs that show me no respect whatsoever just because I’m the opposite gender. Now, don’t get me wrong. This isn’t just some regular ‘feminist rally’ because a subset of that movement has fucked it up for everyone, but I’m not going to stand for it anymore. You know, after hearing some chatter, I am realizing that maybe I DID sign with the wrong XHF company…”
This comment draws a mixed reaction.
“I thought I was going somewhere that’s cutting edge and something with the potential to be special. But… no, I signed with a timewarp with more than half the roster stuck in the 80’s.”
“CANCEL THEM” she hears one of the picketers say.
“Now now… we don’t need to go THAT far! No, we don’t cancel Wrestle: UK. That notion is ridiculous. Instead, we are going to take the fight to them and let them know that to be successful, you can’t be stuck in 1982, you’ve got to be PRESENT and in the NOW and this Battle of Britain match… in spite of the fact that I HAVE to breathe the same air that the nonsensical, repetitive, BORING, MISOGYNIST PIGS breathe… is the best real chance to show that. By the way, unlike MANY of my opponents will certainly do, I’m not going to BORE YOU ALL by running down a list of people in this match one by one and telling you why they won’t win. No, I’m going to PROTEST this company, I’m going to PROTEST the way I’m being treated around here and I am going to PROTEST this embarrassing time warp this company is in! So, we’re going to start by making a list of demands…”
“CHOP OFF ALL OF THEIR BALLS SO THEY WILL DIE!!!!” another picketer in the crowd screams. More than anything, this causes Julianna to roll her eyes.
“...GET OUT!” Julianna yells at the protester. “We are NOT going to fight sexism with sexism! GET OUT!”
Police officers escort the picketer from the premises as Julianna pulls out her list of demands.
“Demand number one: quit treating me like I’m a piece of meat.
Demand number two: I get a god damn rematch for the Commonwealth Championship that I was ROBBED OF when a piece of fucking shit decided to interfere and assault Eron Hunter all because he was a sore loser and couldn’t accept the fact that he lost to him.
Demand number three: A one on one match with said piece of fucking shit so that I can have my revenge.
Demand number four: my own personal COMMONWEALTH REALM! I demand that you give me the island of Tasmania so that I can rip it away from Australia and rename the country the COMMONWEALTH OF JULIANNA!
Okay, maybe that WON’T happen, but by FORCE, partially by winning this Battle of Britain match and eliminating EVERYONE standing in my path… that’s exactly what I am renaming this company to! You see, unlike most of my opponents who are probably going to be stuck in Predictability Island, I’m not going to make this about why they won’t win. I’m going to make this about why I am going to win! For starters, while most of this roster is the same old shit, I am unique and different! I am the epitome of the modern woman’s wrestler. In fact, I am even going to go as far as saying that I am the most MODERN, CUTTING EDGE WRESTLER this company employs! I was BORN from greatness INTO greatness! Considering both of my parents were wrestlers, I should be treated like royalty.
Those of you stuck in that time warp with your sexual harassment locker room talk… you’d all be bowing at my feet and worshipping me if I was a royal! Hypocritical PILLOCKS! Your antics disgust me. This is the match where I go out and prove that I am too good for this company… as if you pieces of garbage with nothing better to say about the female gender don’t do that for me in your own right. And to the other women that are in this match with me? You know why I’m going to win this match and not you? Because you’re too chickenshit to take a stand against this nonsense! You should be here with me protesting this crap too, but you’re not because either you’re too scared or you’re too used to being a housewife that you have no capabilities of thinking for yourselves the way I do.
And that’s what pushes me over the edge: the ability to think forward, the ability to bring a fresh, differing perspective of things, the ability to push the envelope without resporting to the same old, tired nonsense that people don’t want to listen to anymore. Just about everyone else is so fucking archaic that they still use the DDT as a finishing move and they’d try to win their matches with inside cradles and armbars. Hey, do you want to throw in a stegosaurus into this damn thing too considering we want to treat women in this company like we’re still living in the 80’s… the 1780’s that is?
Well when I win that Battle of Britain match.. YOU WILL give me the FUCKING RESPECT I deserve as a wrestler and you WILL be bending the knee to ME!