Post by Rage (aka NoMercyMaster2001) on Aug 31, 2017 9:13:15 GMT -5
The scene opens up in a hospital. A small man, slick black hair and his jacket undown, waving about in the halls as he ran came through the doors and rushed to the counter.
Man :: Dr. Willicks!
A man behind the counter turns around. He's dressed the same as the other.
Dr. Willicks :: What is it Dr. Birch?
Birch :: It's Reeshi...
Suddenly Dr. Willicks goes into a panick.
Willicks :: What is it? Are we losing him?
Birch :: Uh...no. I'm afraid we already have lost him...
Willicks :: Oh no. Did you record the time of death. How'd he go?
Birch :: No, not like that. I mean...he's gone.
Willicks :: He's gone?
Birch :: As in not here.
Willicks :: Well, where is he?
Birch :: If I knew that I wouldn't have come to you. Here...he left this.
Dr. Birch hands Dr. Willicks a piece of paper.
Willicks :: You can't keep me here. You have no right. I will not be cooped up in this place with people waiting on my every needs. Not now, not before, not ever! Especially now with vengeance in order! There is hell to pay! ...Well, looks like somebodies mad. Did he sign himself out, or do we have go track him down. There is no way he should be out there in the condition he's in.
Birch :: I don't know lets check the recordss.
The two begin scurrying about the files and drawers as the scene fades away coming to Ishanri and Tommy at ringside!
Ishnari: How nice of him to leave a note. Holy mockery it's XHF Pyro!
Tommy : And look who it is! Me! Looks like I'm back to fill the shoes of Carlos. Ishnari...We're partners!
Ishnari: Not for long if you keep on wearing that outfit.
Tommy: sorry, my mom picked it out
Ishnari: Oh. your mom? Well in that case it looks fabulous. Lovely lady. Forever in her debt.
"Man in a Box" hits the arena and Hardcore Harry comes from behind the curtain and shows off by putting his hands in the air. Harry then points to the crowd to get them booing at him. Harry then heads to the ring and goes right over the top rope. He gets in and goes to the ropes and raises his arms. When he does that he gets a loud burst of boos followed by Harry Sucks chants. He stands in the corner and waits for his opponent
Ishnari: I don't think ther'es a box big enough to fit Harry in.
Tommy: ...I'm not following
Ishnari: You don't have to. *slaps a 'Vote Ish for Commish' sticker on Tommy* Good lad.
Fuel by Metallica hits. Flames begin to flow down the aisle, an explosion goes off on top of the ramp as Smash walks out to the ring.
Tommy: I can't wait, time to get...HARDCORE!!
Ishnari: Y'know, I sensed that when I saw these two come out
Hardcore Championship
Hardcore Harry vs Smash (c)
Both men look at each other from across the ring. The bell rings to signify the start of the match. Both men just stand still and then smirk at each other. Smash exits his side of the ring and Harry exits his. Smash lifts up the ring apron cloth and takes out a table and some lighter fluid. On the other side Harry pulls out a trash can filled with Singapore canes and street signs. Harry throws the can in and climbs in the ring as Smash sets up the table. Smash picks up the lighter fluid, but as he does Harry baseball slides into Smashs back, causing him to drop it. Harry exits the ring and starts pounding away at Smashs back. Harry then sends Smash into the ring steps with an Irish whip. Smash screams out in pain. Harry lifts the top half of the steps and gets ready to bring them down on Smash, but Smash gives a swift kick to where the sun doesnt shine. Harry drops the steps and goes down in pain as the men in the audience give a loud oooooh!
Ishnari: Did you hear that? The crowd were in unison crying out "Ooooh we need a commissioner that can give us unadulterated goodness every week. Like Ish. Now there's a strapping lad." Hot crowd tonight!
Tommy: Ish for commish!
Ishnari: Putting the commie into commissioner. I thank you. With you sir, putting the Tommy into... into?
Tommy: Well...into something anyway
Smash gets up and tosses Harry into the ring. Smash then follows in and kicks Harry while hes down. Smash then walks over to the trash can and pulls out a Speed Limit 30 sign. Harry is up on all fours as Smash walks up and whacks Harry over the back of the head. Then he strikes again over the back of the Hardcore Legend. Smash then lifts Harry by the head and delivers a flapjack. Smash then exits the ring and grabs a table from underneath. The Hardcore champion puts the table in the ring and climbs in. He sets it up in the corner. As he sets up the table, Harry is stirring about. He crawls over toward the trashcan and grabs a Singapore cane. Smash walking toward Harry doesnt notice. Smash starts to lift Harry by the head, but once on his knees, Harry strikes Smashs left leg with the cane. Within seconds, Harry then swings the cane around and hits Smashs right leg. As Smash bends down, reacting to the pain, Harry then swings the cane into Smashs left rib cage and then swings ferociously into the right side of Smashs head, busting Smash open and sending him to the ground.
Tommy: Even way up north here in canada I think the fans are enjoying this brutality
Ishnari: Canadians know their stuff Tommy. Except their sports.
Harry rolls out of the ring and grabs a steel chair. He walks back in and places the chair on the ground near Smash. He then walks over to Smashs legs and picks them up. He then picks up Smash and plants him into the chair with a reverse powerbomb. He turns Smash over and goes for the cover. 12kick out! Harry looks shocked. He then walks over to the trashcan and dumps out the weapons inside. He then turns to Smash who is now half up. Harry places the can over Smash, picks up the Singapore can, and then hits the can. Smash goes down again. Harry awaits for Smash to get up. Smash gets up on his knees and Harry whacks the can again. Harry then takes the can off of Smash and kicks him in the gut. Harry picks up Smash, sends him to the ropes, and then hits a powerslam. He goes for the cover again, 12another kick out!
Tommy: You know. When I think of a hardcore match, I really don't see it ending with a powerslam. Nice try though
Ishnari: I'd lap it up if one ended with a powerslam. Now you've brought the idea up I damn well demand it!
Harry gets up and argues with the ref. As he does so, Smash slowly gets up and grabs a new Singapore cane and uses it to help himself stand up. As Harry turns to Smash, Smash blasts him over the head with the cane. Harry is down, and now hes busted wide open. Smash grabs a do not enter sign and places it over Harrys groin. Smash then lifts the Singapore cane up, and smacks the sign with it. Harry squirms around in pain. Smash then grabs Harry around the neck and lifts him up off the ground. He then lifts Harry up into the air and slams him down with a chokeslam. Smash then places the speed limit sign over Harrys chest. Smash then climbs the top rope and jumps off and connects with an elbow drop. Smash goes for the cover, 12kick out by Harry! Smash cant believe it.
Tommy: You better believe it son!
Smash then picks up the steel chair that met his face earlier and unfolds it. He then picks up Harry and places him between his legs. Smash tries to pick up Harry, but its blocked. Smash tries again to no avail. Suddenly Smash is lifted as Harry backdrops Smash onto the steel chair. Smash writhes in pain as Harry falls to the ground and rolls out of the ring. Harry reaches under the ring and grabs something, then rests himself on the ring apron. At the same time, Smash uses the ropes to get himself up. Smash then grabs a cane and walks over to Harry, the referee right behind him. Smash puts his body through the second and third rope to grab Harry, but Harry lifts the object he was holding, which was a fire extinguisher. Smash sees it at the last second and moves out of the way before it goes off, but the referee isnt so lucky as he is blinded by the extinguisher. Harry looks at the ref, noticing he made a mistake, but as doing so, Smash swings the cane through the first and second rope, hitting Harry in the back of the head. Harry lands on the ring apron and Smash pulls him in. Smash then picks up Harry and sets him up for what looks to be the tombstone. But Harry wiggles over the shoulder and is now holding Smashs neck in a dragon sleeper position. Harry then hits the roll of the dice onto the trashcan! With the can now flattened, Harry makes the cover, but there is no one to make the count.
Ishnari: You'd think fire extinguishers would be safe, wouldn't ya?
Tommy: This would be the reason why we don't have one in my house
Harry gets up and looks to see the ref still blinded, but now standing in the corner, trying to clear his eyes. Harry in a mad dash squashes the ref in the corner. Smash is now getting up near the corner where the table is set up. Harry charges over to Smash and tries to punch him, but Smash ducks, and with Harry turned around, Smash wraps his arms around Harrys waist and delivers a German suplex through the table! The crowd chants Holy Shit! Smash rolls over and makes the cover, but their is still no ref. A new ref runs down to the ring and slides in after a few seconds. He makes the count. Onetwothr-kick out! No one in the arena can believe it. Both men are now slow to get up. Theyre both tired from this hellacious battle. Now both up, Smash punches Harry, Harrry backs up, then hits Smash back. They are punching back and forth. Harry then kicks Smash in the gut. Harry looks to be setting up a suplex, but he gets punched in the ribs. Smash gets his head out of Harrys arm and hits the twist of fate. After a few seconds, Smash finally turns over to make the cover. 12kickout! Harry just barely gets the shoulder up. Smash sits up in shock, but then slowly gets a grin on his face as he looks over at the table he set up in the beginning of the match. Smash then gets up and pulls Harry over to the side of the ring where the table is set up. Smash then leaves the ring, picks up the lighter fluid and sprays it all over the table. Smash then picks up a box of matches, lights one and throws it on the table, engulfing it in flames.
Tommy: Too bad they waisted it. We could really use that fire extinguisher right about now.
Ishnari: Yup. That's what you get when you abuse fire safety devices.
Smash gets up on the apron and pulls Harry out onto the apron with him. Smash then clamps his hand around Harrys neck. He points to the table then lifts Harry up, but Harry grabs onto the ropes, blocking it. Harry kicks Smash in the gut, but Smash wont let go. Harry kicks again, but Smash still wont let go. Harry then kicks Smash in the groin, forcing Smash to let go. With Smash now hunched over, Harry places him between his legs. Harry lifts Smash for a powerbomb, but stops. He then lets Smash come back down so that he is hanging upside-down, being held by Harry. The crowd now gets off the edge of their seats and are standing, knowing whats about to happen. Between Smashs legs, Harry can be seen with an evil smile as he stares at the flaming table. Harry then jumps off of the apron, going through the flaming table with a Hangmans DDT! Smash goes through the table headfirst and Harry goes through legs first. Smash rolls off the table but appears to now be out cold as Harry rolls around patting his legs down as the crowd is once again chants Holy Shit!
Tommy: Wow...never heard such profanity from these normally quite civil Canadians! Look what the XHF has done to these model citizens of this earth!
Harry now realizing where he is crawls over to the unconscious Smash. Harry makes the cover and hooks the leg as the referee counts, 123! Harry sits up holding both his legs as the referee gives him the title and raises his hand.
Winner and new Hardcore champion: Hardcore Harry.
Ishnari: Buddabing
Tommy: Buddaboom
Backstage Congo is seen talking with someone off in the corner. The camera isn't close enough to see who it is. It gets closer to reveal Psyko Stevo! The two continue their conversation until Congo notices the camera
Congo :: We're on T.V!!! Hi mom!
Stevo just watches until Congo puts his face right up to the camera and begins waving. Stevo steps forward and shoves the camera man away, bringing it to a fuzz.
Tommy: I don't think we were suppose to see that...what a minute, the return of Pysko Stevo!...wait a minute. Is he the new commish? Is that what that conversation was all about?
Ishnari: That conversation was about Psyko Stevo wasting his time. I have an arrangement with Congo the Destroyer and believe me, he isn't looking at ANY other candidates with more than amusment.
Tommy: Best of luck to you partner. Although I must say, I hope you lose this commish race of yours. I wouldn't want anybody else beside me
Ishnari: Aw, that's sweet. I wouldn't be leaving this seat in any situation though. They can hear me from here we've got microphones on y'know.
Tommy: Oh, is that what these things were for?
Ishnari: I'd stop playing dumb if I were you Tom, otherwise I might start believing it. You don't want that to happen.
Tommy: Uh...no, of course not
Backstage Zero crosses Kanyon heading towards the entrance way, getting ready for his match.
Kanyon :: Good luck. You're going to need it. Like getting fed to wolves. Be ready to get your ass kicked.
Zero turns with a right hand and Kanyon begins throwing a few as well but referees are quickly in to pull them apart. Pushing and shoving follows as referees try to gain some order.
Ishnari: Haha, referees trying to get some order? Have you seen the baboons we have working in those jobs?
Tommy: That can be one of the changes you vow to make if you become commish!
Ishnari: People already know I'm going to do that when I win. I'm going to revolutionise the industry by utilising referees that do more than the current three step plan of stand still, wave arms in protest and collect paychecks.
Tommy: Isn't that what we do?
Ishnari: We neither stand or wave arms. Do I have to sit next to you?
Tommy: According to Congo...yes
Ishnari: According to Congo cucumbers are brown.
'Crashing' by Unloco hits the P.A. system. A light blue haze fills the air as the arena goes dark. Zero walks through the curtain and stands at the top of the ramp. He looks around at the fans, then continues down the ramp. He slaps some hands, then slides under the bottom rope, into the ring. He climbs one of the turnbuckles while the rest explode in light blue pyro. He then jumps off and waits for his opponent.
Ishnari: Ishnari: now what does Zero mean exactly?
Tommy: Maybe it's his skill points?
Ishnari: Ishnari: Skill points?
Tommy: Too many videogames
Ishnari: Ishnari: Yes.
The lights go black and blue and red strobes circle the arena. The Xtremetron flashes Obey the Master of Puppets! ECF 4 Life! The speakers blast DT yelling, ECF . . . FOR LIFE! The opening guitar solo and first verse of "Headstrong" by Trapt blare through the speakers. The tron shows segments of DT hitting his various finishers on opponents. Death Trap steps out onto the ramp in his Death Trap Obey the Master of Puppets shirt and shades. He has on his favorite black hat and is carrying Homer, his lucky bat. He has on his blue and red striped leather pants. He has on black boots and grapple gloves. He gives the Grand Slam sign and triggers a huge pyrotechnic chain reaction as the chorus hits.
"Fuck off I'll take you on! Headstrong, I'll take on anyone. I know that you are wrong. Headstrong, We're Headstrong! Back off I'll take you on! Headstrong to take on anyone. I know that you are wrong and THIS IS NOT . . . WHERE YOU BELONG!!!!!!"
The tron shows in big bold green letters "ANARCHY INC!". The lights brighten. He walks to the ring and takes off the hat, shirt, and shades, and drops the bat. He steps to the center of the ring and his arms in a cross. He then gives the Grand Slam sign again and sets off one final pyrotechnic eruption
Ishnari: Death Trap sounds more intimidating than Zero.
Death Trap vs Zero
Zero starts by charging at DT. The veteran pulls a leap frog and waits for the return and sends a back kick into his gut. He turns and laughs at Zero before slapping him. Zero looks up infuriated. He tries a right hand but DT blocks. He tries again, blocked again. DT whips him off the ropes and drops to the mat, Zero jumps over him to the other side and on the return is greeted with a dropkick to the face. He bounces back off the ropes into a spinebuster slam. DT just laughs and kicks him in the side. Zero stands up and goes for a clothesline but DT ducks, he tries again but DT ducks backwards, Matrix style. He then hooks the arm and hits a hammerlock. Zero elbows DT in the face and the hold is broken. They start trading punches in the center of the ring until Zero shoves DT to the corner. He charges for a body splash but DT gets the boot to the face. He then rolls Zero into the Oblivion.
Ishnari: Death Trap one step ahead in the battle of wits and therefore many steps ahead when it comes to doing damage and the race to the finishing line.
As Death Trap is busying himself with Zero, the screen comes on with a car speeding into the parking lot! It comes to a screeching halt and a figure immediately steps out, slamming the door shut! The camera pans up to see Reeshi! He enters the building and begins questioning people as to who the black figure is. He stops and sees a door reading "Anarchy Inc." If he can't get to the black figure, he might as well raise some hell. He kicks the door down and storms in looking for somebody, possibly Diamond seeing as Death Trap is out in the ring but as he turns into the room it is empty with the exception of a gym bag on the far wall. The camera moves across to the other end of the room and sees what has Reeshi frozen. He is standing still, staring at it. It's a black pair of pants with a long black shirt, hanging up in one of the lockers. On top of the locker is a black ski mask! Reeshi grows a snarl across his face and storms out of the room as the screen shuts off and goes back to Death Trap and Zero in the ring, Death Trap still hasn't seen anything.
Ishnari: Um...
Tommy: Uh oh...
Zero is screaming in pain. He cant move DT to get the ropes. After about 30 seconds he looks ready to tap. DT sits down hard then releases the hold. The ref asks why, DT just smirks. He beckons Zero to stand. Zero is slowly pulling himself up. DT waits then hooks him from behind and hits a reverse Tazplex. He holds on and hits another. He holds on and stands. This time he pushes Zero and Zero and DT go to the top. DT taunts then launches the third Tazplex from the top rope but holds on. Zero crashes on the mat as DT shows his agility pulling up to a sitting position and then spinning to his feet on the top rope. DT taunts to the crowd and goes for his signature 450 splash! However Zero gets the legs up and DT bounces off grabbing his gut in pain. Zero gets up slowly as DT gets to a knee. Zero charges and hits a DDT. He pins. 1 . . . kick out. DT rolls but gets locked in an Achilles lock. He screams then dives for the ropes. The ref breaks the hold. Zero stands and hits a few kicks to the gut. He hits a neck breaker. DT is in pain holding his neck. Zero laughs and stands him. He goes for a suplex but DT wraps his foot around Zeros leg. DT hits a few punches to the gut and hits a screwdriver. Both men are down but DT is quick to his feet. He locks in a figure four leg lock. Zero is in pain. He fights it but cant get free. The ref asks for a tap out but he refuses. He tries to turn the hold over but DT breaks it. DT picks up Zero and hits a few chops. He then grapples but Zero gets the advantage and whips him. DT sucks a clothesline. Zero turns right into a superkick. He bounces off the ropes right into a spear. Just like the punching bag yesterday.
Ishnari: Zero is struggling to build up mometum not because he is doing wrong, just that Death Trap's experience is leading him to build up to the cut-off points at exactly the right moments.
Tommy: Death Trap doesn't look to be fazed by this Reeshi gauntlet at all
Ishnari: Why should he be? A match is a match.
DT goes to Zero but Zero is standing. DT grabs him and hits an arm wrench with hook kick. Zero doesnt fall. DT looks pissed. He hits him with a Chokeslam from Hell. He taunts to the crowd. He turns to see Zero pulling himself up. DT smirks and waits for him. Zero looks up and sees DT charging. He ducks and flips him over the ropes but DT lands on his feet on the floor and pulls out Zeros legs. Zero falls to his face. DT slides into the ring and tells him to get his ass up. But Zero is slow this time. DT laughs and waits for him. Zero gets up right into a kick to the gut. He sets him in pumphandle position. He connects with a stalling Puppet Driver. Zero is out. He goes up and hits the 450 splash with pin. 1 . . . 2 . . . 3!
Winner :: Death Trap
Ishnari: A big man 450, you better believe that's over.
Tommy: Wow, he ran right through Zero
Death Trap : I told you, you will be an example for the Master of Puppets. REESHI! This awaits you!
He gets his bat and waits for Zero to get up. He cracks him in the head with the bat. He slides it away and sets him up. He hits a Death Drop. He begins to exit. He stops on the ramp.
Death Trap : Wait . . . We need an EXAMPLE!
Ishnari: I'm dreading what's coming up.
He moves back and rolls into the ring to grab Zero when suddenly Reeshi comes running down the ramp with a steel chair. He slides into the ring and doesn't wait for Death Trap to turn around he cracks the chair over the back of Death Trap and then a second time to take him down to his knees. Reeshi comes around the front and faces Death Trap. "You wanna jump me you son of a bitch!" Reeshi cracks the chair over the skull of Death Trap! Reeshi slams the chair down to the booing fans and picks up Death Trap. He sets him up over the chair and drives him to the mat with a Coral Reesh on top of the chair! Reeshi doesn't seem to be done when Diamond is on the ramp with a microphone.
Diamond :: Woah, woah! Woah! Reeshi! Man, just calm down. You've done your thing, you've made your statement, just leave him be. I saw the footage man. I was in the back watching on the monitor when I saw you arrive and you saw what you did in our locker room. I can guarantee you that neither of us have any idea where that came from or who's it is. But I can guarantee you that it wasn't any of us! Reeshi, I understand you're a little pissed off, I know I would be, but you've got the wrong guy.
Reeshi yells from the ring. "What makes you so sure! What do you know that you're not telling me!"
Diamond :: Death Traps my partner, I know what's going on with him. I can guarantee you that none of us had anything to do with this. We're as lost as you as to who it is, but we do know it's not any of us. Now you've done your bit, leave now, before I remove you myself!
Tommy: Reeshi has absolutely lost it! But according to Diamond, he's convicted an innocent man
Ishnari: Is that the death penalty in these parts?
Death Trap is still moving about in the ring and is upright on his knees. Reeshi takes a mighty swing with the chair and cracks it over the back of Death Traps head! Diamond comes charing down the ramp and Reeshi slides out of the ring, chair in hand. Death Trap, a little shaken up but after a few moments, gets right back up! Reeshi is still backing up the ramp when Death Trap is calling him back. Reeshi stops at the top of the ramp and the two are taunting one another. Death Trap has his baseball bat and turns around and cracks it into the ribs of Zero once more and is stomping away on him until Diamond pulls him off! Both Reeshi and Death Trap are all fired up as the camera gets a close-up on the ramp screaming out towards Death Trap in the ring and Death Trap in the background on the xtremetron, shouting back at Reeshi as Pyro comes to an end!
Tommy: Wow, this is only going to get better between these two
Ishnari: Bye bye everybody!
Fade out
Man :: Dr. Willicks!
A man behind the counter turns around. He's dressed the same as the other.
Dr. Willicks :: What is it Dr. Birch?
Birch :: It's Reeshi...
Suddenly Dr. Willicks goes into a panick.
Willicks :: What is it? Are we losing him?
Birch :: Uh...no. I'm afraid we already have lost him...
Willicks :: Oh no. Did you record the time of death. How'd he go?
Birch :: No, not like that. I mean...he's gone.
Willicks :: He's gone?
Birch :: As in not here.
Willicks :: Well, where is he?
Birch :: If I knew that I wouldn't have come to you. Here...he left this.
Dr. Birch hands Dr. Willicks a piece of paper.
Willicks :: You can't keep me here. You have no right. I will not be cooped up in this place with people waiting on my every needs. Not now, not before, not ever! Especially now with vengeance in order! There is hell to pay! ...Well, looks like somebodies mad. Did he sign himself out, or do we have go track him down. There is no way he should be out there in the condition he's in.
Birch :: I don't know lets check the recordss.
The two begin scurrying about the files and drawers as the scene fades away coming to Ishanri and Tommy at ringside!
Ishnari: How nice of him to leave a note. Holy mockery it's XHF Pyro!
Tommy : And look who it is! Me! Looks like I'm back to fill the shoes of Carlos. Ishnari...We're partners!
Ishnari: Not for long if you keep on wearing that outfit.
Tommy: sorry, my mom picked it out
Ishnari: Oh. your mom? Well in that case it looks fabulous. Lovely lady. Forever in her debt.
"Man in a Box" hits the arena and Hardcore Harry comes from behind the curtain and shows off by putting his hands in the air. Harry then points to the crowd to get them booing at him. Harry then heads to the ring and goes right over the top rope. He gets in and goes to the ropes and raises his arms. When he does that he gets a loud burst of boos followed by Harry Sucks chants. He stands in the corner and waits for his opponent
Ishnari: I don't think ther'es a box big enough to fit Harry in.
Tommy: ...I'm not following
Ishnari: You don't have to. *slaps a 'Vote Ish for Commish' sticker on Tommy* Good lad.
Fuel by Metallica hits. Flames begin to flow down the aisle, an explosion goes off on top of the ramp as Smash walks out to the ring.
Tommy: I can't wait, time to get...HARDCORE!!
Ishnari: Y'know, I sensed that when I saw these two come out
Hardcore Championship
Hardcore Harry vs Smash (c)
Both men look at each other from across the ring. The bell rings to signify the start of the match. Both men just stand still and then smirk at each other. Smash exits his side of the ring and Harry exits his. Smash lifts up the ring apron cloth and takes out a table and some lighter fluid. On the other side Harry pulls out a trash can filled with Singapore canes and street signs. Harry throws the can in and climbs in the ring as Smash sets up the table. Smash picks up the lighter fluid, but as he does Harry baseball slides into Smashs back, causing him to drop it. Harry exits the ring and starts pounding away at Smashs back. Harry then sends Smash into the ring steps with an Irish whip. Smash screams out in pain. Harry lifts the top half of the steps and gets ready to bring them down on Smash, but Smash gives a swift kick to where the sun doesnt shine. Harry drops the steps and goes down in pain as the men in the audience give a loud oooooh!
Ishnari: Did you hear that? The crowd were in unison crying out "Ooooh we need a commissioner that can give us unadulterated goodness every week. Like Ish. Now there's a strapping lad." Hot crowd tonight!
Tommy: Ish for commish!
Ishnari: Putting the commie into commissioner. I thank you. With you sir, putting the Tommy into... into?
Tommy: Well...into something anyway
Smash gets up and tosses Harry into the ring. Smash then follows in and kicks Harry while hes down. Smash then walks over to the trash can and pulls out a Speed Limit 30 sign. Harry is up on all fours as Smash walks up and whacks Harry over the back of the head. Then he strikes again over the back of the Hardcore Legend. Smash then lifts Harry by the head and delivers a flapjack. Smash then exits the ring and grabs a table from underneath. The Hardcore champion puts the table in the ring and climbs in. He sets it up in the corner. As he sets up the table, Harry is stirring about. He crawls over toward the trashcan and grabs a Singapore cane. Smash walking toward Harry doesnt notice. Smash starts to lift Harry by the head, but once on his knees, Harry strikes Smashs left leg with the cane. Within seconds, Harry then swings the cane around and hits Smashs right leg. As Smash bends down, reacting to the pain, Harry then swings the cane into Smashs left rib cage and then swings ferociously into the right side of Smashs head, busting Smash open and sending him to the ground.
Tommy: Even way up north here in canada I think the fans are enjoying this brutality
Ishnari: Canadians know their stuff Tommy. Except their sports.
Harry rolls out of the ring and grabs a steel chair. He walks back in and places the chair on the ground near Smash. He then walks over to Smashs legs and picks them up. He then picks up Smash and plants him into the chair with a reverse powerbomb. He turns Smash over and goes for the cover. 12kick out! Harry looks shocked. He then walks over to the trashcan and dumps out the weapons inside. He then turns to Smash who is now half up. Harry places the can over Smash, picks up the Singapore can, and then hits the can. Smash goes down again. Harry awaits for Smash to get up. Smash gets up on his knees and Harry whacks the can again. Harry then takes the can off of Smash and kicks him in the gut. Harry picks up Smash, sends him to the ropes, and then hits a powerslam. He goes for the cover again, 12another kick out!
Tommy: You know. When I think of a hardcore match, I really don't see it ending with a powerslam. Nice try though
Ishnari: I'd lap it up if one ended with a powerslam. Now you've brought the idea up I damn well demand it!
Harry gets up and argues with the ref. As he does so, Smash slowly gets up and grabs a new Singapore cane and uses it to help himself stand up. As Harry turns to Smash, Smash blasts him over the head with the cane. Harry is down, and now hes busted wide open. Smash grabs a do not enter sign and places it over Harrys groin. Smash then lifts the Singapore cane up, and smacks the sign with it. Harry squirms around in pain. Smash then grabs Harry around the neck and lifts him up off the ground. He then lifts Harry up into the air and slams him down with a chokeslam. Smash then places the speed limit sign over Harrys chest. Smash then climbs the top rope and jumps off and connects with an elbow drop. Smash goes for the cover, 12kick out by Harry! Smash cant believe it.
Tommy: You better believe it son!
Smash then picks up the steel chair that met his face earlier and unfolds it. He then picks up Harry and places him between his legs. Smash tries to pick up Harry, but its blocked. Smash tries again to no avail. Suddenly Smash is lifted as Harry backdrops Smash onto the steel chair. Smash writhes in pain as Harry falls to the ground and rolls out of the ring. Harry reaches under the ring and grabs something, then rests himself on the ring apron. At the same time, Smash uses the ropes to get himself up. Smash then grabs a cane and walks over to Harry, the referee right behind him. Smash puts his body through the second and third rope to grab Harry, but Harry lifts the object he was holding, which was a fire extinguisher. Smash sees it at the last second and moves out of the way before it goes off, but the referee isnt so lucky as he is blinded by the extinguisher. Harry looks at the ref, noticing he made a mistake, but as doing so, Smash swings the cane through the first and second rope, hitting Harry in the back of the head. Harry lands on the ring apron and Smash pulls him in. Smash then picks up Harry and sets him up for what looks to be the tombstone. But Harry wiggles over the shoulder and is now holding Smashs neck in a dragon sleeper position. Harry then hits the roll of the dice onto the trashcan! With the can now flattened, Harry makes the cover, but there is no one to make the count.
Ishnari: You'd think fire extinguishers would be safe, wouldn't ya?
Tommy: This would be the reason why we don't have one in my house
Harry gets up and looks to see the ref still blinded, but now standing in the corner, trying to clear his eyes. Harry in a mad dash squashes the ref in the corner. Smash is now getting up near the corner where the table is set up. Harry charges over to Smash and tries to punch him, but Smash ducks, and with Harry turned around, Smash wraps his arms around Harrys waist and delivers a German suplex through the table! The crowd chants Holy Shit! Smash rolls over and makes the cover, but their is still no ref. A new ref runs down to the ring and slides in after a few seconds. He makes the count. Onetwothr-kick out! No one in the arena can believe it. Both men are now slow to get up. Theyre both tired from this hellacious battle. Now both up, Smash punches Harry, Harrry backs up, then hits Smash back. They are punching back and forth. Harry then kicks Smash in the gut. Harry looks to be setting up a suplex, but he gets punched in the ribs. Smash gets his head out of Harrys arm and hits the twist of fate. After a few seconds, Smash finally turns over to make the cover. 12kickout! Harry just barely gets the shoulder up. Smash sits up in shock, but then slowly gets a grin on his face as he looks over at the table he set up in the beginning of the match. Smash then gets up and pulls Harry over to the side of the ring where the table is set up. Smash then leaves the ring, picks up the lighter fluid and sprays it all over the table. Smash then picks up a box of matches, lights one and throws it on the table, engulfing it in flames.
Tommy: Too bad they waisted it. We could really use that fire extinguisher right about now.
Ishnari: Yup. That's what you get when you abuse fire safety devices.
Smash gets up on the apron and pulls Harry out onto the apron with him. Smash then clamps his hand around Harrys neck. He points to the table then lifts Harry up, but Harry grabs onto the ropes, blocking it. Harry kicks Smash in the gut, but Smash wont let go. Harry kicks again, but Smash still wont let go. Harry then kicks Smash in the groin, forcing Smash to let go. With Smash now hunched over, Harry places him between his legs. Harry lifts Smash for a powerbomb, but stops. He then lets Smash come back down so that he is hanging upside-down, being held by Harry. The crowd now gets off the edge of their seats and are standing, knowing whats about to happen. Between Smashs legs, Harry can be seen with an evil smile as he stares at the flaming table. Harry then jumps off of the apron, going through the flaming table with a Hangmans DDT! Smash goes through the table headfirst and Harry goes through legs first. Smash rolls off the table but appears to now be out cold as Harry rolls around patting his legs down as the crowd is once again chants Holy Shit!
Tommy: Wow...never heard such profanity from these normally quite civil Canadians! Look what the XHF has done to these model citizens of this earth!
Harry now realizing where he is crawls over to the unconscious Smash. Harry makes the cover and hooks the leg as the referee counts, 123! Harry sits up holding both his legs as the referee gives him the title and raises his hand.
Winner and new Hardcore champion: Hardcore Harry.
Ishnari: Buddabing
Tommy: Buddaboom
Backstage Congo is seen talking with someone off in the corner. The camera isn't close enough to see who it is. It gets closer to reveal Psyko Stevo! The two continue their conversation until Congo notices the camera
Congo :: We're on T.V!!! Hi mom!
Stevo just watches until Congo puts his face right up to the camera and begins waving. Stevo steps forward and shoves the camera man away, bringing it to a fuzz.
Tommy: I don't think we were suppose to see that...what a minute, the return of Pysko Stevo!...wait a minute. Is he the new commish? Is that what that conversation was all about?
Ishnari: That conversation was about Psyko Stevo wasting his time. I have an arrangement with Congo the Destroyer and believe me, he isn't looking at ANY other candidates with more than amusment.
Tommy: Best of luck to you partner. Although I must say, I hope you lose this commish race of yours. I wouldn't want anybody else beside me
Ishnari: Aw, that's sweet. I wouldn't be leaving this seat in any situation though. They can hear me from here we've got microphones on y'know.
Tommy: Oh, is that what these things were for?
Ishnari: I'd stop playing dumb if I were you Tom, otherwise I might start believing it. You don't want that to happen.
Tommy: Uh...no, of course not
Backstage Zero crosses Kanyon heading towards the entrance way, getting ready for his match.
Kanyon :: Good luck. You're going to need it. Like getting fed to wolves. Be ready to get your ass kicked.
Zero turns with a right hand and Kanyon begins throwing a few as well but referees are quickly in to pull them apart. Pushing and shoving follows as referees try to gain some order.
Ishnari: Haha, referees trying to get some order? Have you seen the baboons we have working in those jobs?
Tommy: That can be one of the changes you vow to make if you become commish!
Ishnari: People already know I'm going to do that when I win. I'm going to revolutionise the industry by utilising referees that do more than the current three step plan of stand still, wave arms in protest and collect paychecks.
Tommy: Isn't that what we do?
Ishnari: We neither stand or wave arms. Do I have to sit next to you?
Tommy: According to Congo...yes
Ishnari: According to Congo cucumbers are brown.
'Crashing' by Unloco hits the P.A. system. A light blue haze fills the air as the arena goes dark. Zero walks through the curtain and stands at the top of the ramp. He looks around at the fans, then continues down the ramp. He slaps some hands, then slides under the bottom rope, into the ring. He climbs one of the turnbuckles while the rest explode in light blue pyro. He then jumps off and waits for his opponent.
Ishnari: Ishnari: now what does Zero mean exactly?
Tommy: Maybe it's his skill points?
Ishnari: Ishnari: Skill points?
Tommy: Too many videogames
Ishnari: Ishnari: Yes.
The lights go black and blue and red strobes circle the arena. The Xtremetron flashes Obey the Master of Puppets! ECF 4 Life! The speakers blast DT yelling, ECF . . . FOR LIFE! The opening guitar solo and first verse of "Headstrong" by Trapt blare through the speakers. The tron shows segments of DT hitting his various finishers on opponents. Death Trap steps out onto the ramp in his Death Trap Obey the Master of Puppets shirt and shades. He has on his favorite black hat and is carrying Homer, his lucky bat. He has on his blue and red striped leather pants. He has on black boots and grapple gloves. He gives the Grand Slam sign and triggers a huge pyrotechnic chain reaction as the chorus hits.
"Fuck off I'll take you on! Headstrong, I'll take on anyone. I know that you are wrong. Headstrong, We're Headstrong! Back off I'll take you on! Headstrong to take on anyone. I know that you are wrong and THIS IS NOT . . . WHERE YOU BELONG!!!!!!"
The tron shows in big bold green letters "ANARCHY INC!". The lights brighten. He walks to the ring and takes off the hat, shirt, and shades, and drops the bat. He steps to the center of the ring and his arms in a cross. He then gives the Grand Slam sign again and sets off one final pyrotechnic eruption
Ishnari: Death Trap sounds more intimidating than Zero.
Death Trap vs Zero
Zero starts by charging at DT. The veteran pulls a leap frog and waits for the return and sends a back kick into his gut. He turns and laughs at Zero before slapping him. Zero looks up infuriated. He tries a right hand but DT blocks. He tries again, blocked again. DT whips him off the ropes and drops to the mat, Zero jumps over him to the other side and on the return is greeted with a dropkick to the face. He bounces back off the ropes into a spinebuster slam. DT just laughs and kicks him in the side. Zero stands up and goes for a clothesline but DT ducks, he tries again but DT ducks backwards, Matrix style. He then hooks the arm and hits a hammerlock. Zero elbows DT in the face and the hold is broken. They start trading punches in the center of the ring until Zero shoves DT to the corner. He charges for a body splash but DT gets the boot to the face. He then rolls Zero into the Oblivion.
Ishnari: Death Trap one step ahead in the battle of wits and therefore many steps ahead when it comes to doing damage and the race to the finishing line.
As Death Trap is busying himself with Zero, the screen comes on with a car speeding into the parking lot! It comes to a screeching halt and a figure immediately steps out, slamming the door shut! The camera pans up to see Reeshi! He enters the building and begins questioning people as to who the black figure is. He stops and sees a door reading "Anarchy Inc." If he can't get to the black figure, he might as well raise some hell. He kicks the door down and storms in looking for somebody, possibly Diamond seeing as Death Trap is out in the ring but as he turns into the room it is empty with the exception of a gym bag on the far wall. The camera moves across to the other end of the room and sees what has Reeshi frozen. He is standing still, staring at it. It's a black pair of pants with a long black shirt, hanging up in one of the lockers. On top of the locker is a black ski mask! Reeshi grows a snarl across his face and storms out of the room as the screen shuts off and goes back to Death Trap and Zero in the ring, Death Trap still hasn't seen anything.
Ishnari: Um...
Tommy: Uh oh...
Zero is screaming in pain. He cant move DT to get the ropes. After about 30 seconds he looks ready to tap. DT sits down hard then releases the hold. The ref asks why, DT just smirks. He beckons Zero to stand. Zero is slowly pulling himself up. DT waits then hooks him from behind and hits a reverse Tazplex. He holds on and hits another. He holds on and stands. This time he pushes Zero and Zero and DT go to the top. DT taunts then launches the third Tazplex from the top rope but holds on. Zero crashes on the mat as DT shows his agility pulling up to a sitting position and then spinning to his feet on the top rope. DT taunts to the crowd and goes for his signature 450 splash! However Zero gets the legs up and DT bounces off grabbing his gut in pain. Zero gets up slowly as DT gets to a knee. Zero charges and hits a DDT. He pins. 1 . . . kick out. DT rolls but gets locked in an Achilles lock. He screams then dives for the ropes. The ref breaks the hold. Zero stands and hits a few kicks to the gut. He hits a neck breaker. DT is in pain holding his neck. Zero laughs and stands him. He goes for a suplex but DT wraps his foot around Zeros leg. DT hits a few punches to the gut and hits a screwdriver. Both men are down but DT is quick to his feet. He locks in a figure four leg lock. Zero is in pain. He fights it but cant get free. The ref asks for a tap out but he refuses. He tries to turn the hold over but DT breaks it. DT picks up Zero and hits a few chops. He then grapples but Zero gets the advantage and whips him. DT sucks a clothesline. Zero turns right into a superkick. He bounces off the ropes right into a spear. Just like the punching bag yesterday.
Ishnari: Zero is struggling to build up mometum not because he is doing wrong, just that Death Trap's experience is leading him to build up to the cut-off points at exactly the right moments.
Tommy: Death Trap doesn't look to be fazed by this Reeshi gauntlet at all
Ishnari: Why should he be? A match is a match.
DT goes to Zero but Zero is standing. DT grabs him and hits an arm wrench with hook kick. Zero doesnt fall. DT looks pissed. He hits him with a Chokeslam from Hell. He taunts to the crowd. He turns to see Zero pulling himself up. DT smirks and waits for him. Zero looks up and sees DT charging. He ducks and flips him over the ropes but DT lands on his feet on the floor and pulls out Zeros legs. Zero falls to his face. DT slides into the ring and tells him to get his ass up. But Zero is slow this time. DT laughs and waits for him. Zero gets up right into a kick to the gut. He sets him in pumphandle position. He connects with a stalling Puppet Driver. Zero is out. He goes up and hits the 450 splash with pin. 1 . . . 2 . . . 3!
Winner :: Death Trap
Ishnari: A big man 450, you better believe that's over.
Tommy: Wow, he ran right through Zero
Death Trap : I told you, you will be an example for the Master of Puppets. REESHI! This awaits you!
He gets his bat and waits for Zero to get up. He cracks him in the head with the bat. He slides it away and sets him up. He hits a Death Drop. He begins to exit. He stops on the ramp.
Death Trap : Wait . . . We need an EXAMPLE!
Ishnari: I'm dreading what's coming up.
He moves back and rolls into the ring to grab Zero when suddenly Reeshi comes running down the ramp with a steel chair. He slides into the ring and doesn't wait for Death Trap to turn around he cracks the chair over the back of Death Trap and then a second time to take him down to his knees. Reeshi comes around the front and faces Death Trap. "You wanna jump me you son of a bitch!" Reeshi cracks the chair over the skull of Death Trap! Reeshi slams the chair down to the booing fans and picks up Death Trap. He sets him up over the chair and drives him to the mat with a Coral Reesh on top of the chair! Reeshi doesn't seem to be done when Diamond is on the ramp with a microphone.
Diamond :: Woah, woah! Woah! Reeshi! Man, just calm down. You've done your thing, you've made your statement, just leave him be. I saw the footage man. I was in the back watching on the monitor when I saw you arrive and you saw what you did in our locker room. I can guarantee you that neither of us have any idea where that came from or who's it is. But I can guarantee you that it wasn't any of us! Reeshi, I understand you're a little pissed off, I know I would be, but you've got the wrong guy.
Reeshi yells from the ring. "What makes you so sure! What do you know that you're not telling me!"
Diamond :: Death Traps my partner, I know what's going on with him. I can guarantee you that none of us had anything to do with this. We're as lost as you as to who it is, but we do know it's not any of us. Now you've done your bit, leave now, before I remove you myself!
Tommy: Reeshi has absolutely lost it! But according to Diamond, he's convicted an innocent man
Ishnari: Is that the death penalty in these parts?
Death Trap is still moving about in the ring and is upright on his knees. Reeshi takes a mighty swing with the chair and cracks it over the back of Death Traps head! Diamond comes charing down the ramp and Reeshi slides out of the ring, chair in hand. Death Trap, a little shaken up but after a few moments, gets right back up! Reeshi is still backing up the ramp when Death Trap is calling him back. Reeshi stops at the top of the ramp and the two are taunting one another. Death Trap has his baseball bat and turns around and cracks it into the ribs of Zero once more and is stomping away on him until Diamond pulls him off! Both Reeshi and Death Trap are all fired up as the camera gets a close-up on the ramp screaming out towards Death Trap in the ring and Death Trap in the background on the xtremetron, shouting back at Reeshi as Pyro comes to an end!
Tommy: Wow, this is only going to get better between these two
Ishnari: Bye bye everybody!
Fade out