Hardkore Helloween 2022
Nov 8, 2022 18:43:33 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Kira Izumi, and 4 more like this
Post by Jonnie Valentine on Nov 8, 2022 18:43:33 GMT -5
Open on a ring wrapped in barbed wire with a crazy crowd in Boston at the MGM Music Hall at Fenway. Guys holding signs that say “Boston Is Marty Country”, “Representing Jeffries Point!!” “Marty’s Match Is Going To Be Shorter Than A Kilroy Shower, “Always Very Blessed”, “Sheiky Baby!”, “Society of the Inbred”, “Kilroy Sucks!”, “Sure Bet: The High Roller Is Winning The Cup”, “Kilroy Is A Southern Fried Moron”, “Marty Give Back Walt’s Frozen Corpse!”, “I Liked Eron Better When I Couldn’t See His Face”, and a Japanese flag with Japanese writing and ‘Kira Izumi’. Fade out to Guillermo and Phil at ringside. Guillermo O’Bannon is dressed as House of Dragon’s Daemon Targaryen. Phil is wearing an old military costume with a fake handlebar mustache but with a neck brace, with Marty’s Hardkore World Heavyweight Journalism Championship strapped around his waist.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Hello fans and welcome to Boston! This is Hardkore World’s first trip here in nearly 30 years, in 1993 when Total Destruction won the Hardkore World Tag Team titles over The Californians in an upset at the Boston Gardens!
Phillip Blauer: Why it hasn’t changed a bit since then. I haven’t seen someone wearing their hat frontwards since I got off the plane.
Guillermo O’Bannon: I like your costume, Phil. Who are you supposed to be?
Phillip Blauer: Are you daft, man? I’m The Kaiser. I used to be so scared of him as a kid.
Guillermo O’Bannon: When you were a…? I see you’re still recovering from your attempt to wrestle at the TV taping in Prescott.
Phillip Blauer: (winces and touches his neck brace) I’m sorry Gretel, it’s something only us ‘boys’ in the back know about. But I now know that the Dutch Express are butchers and need to be banned from the sport. So you came as Ric Flair?
Guillermo O’Bannon: No, I’m Daemon Targaryen. King of the Stepstones and the Narrow Sea…
Phillip Blauer: But you got the wig from…
Guillermo O’Bannon: Yes, I got the wig from my old Ric Flair costume. Why are you wearing that belt?
Phillip Blauer: It just burns you up, doesn’t it? That Marty thinks I’m the real News Hawk journalist here?
Guillermo O’Bannon: (folds his arms) No. Anyway, Marty is back in his hometown with the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship, putting it on the line against two time champion Kilroy Evans. Kilroy will be in hostile territory as you can tell by the tenor of the audience here tonight.
Phillip Blauer: What will Kilroy do when he can’t bum a ride back to the Super 8 motel by the I-95, pretend to lose his key, and then sleep on their couch?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Stay in Jackie’s room like usual.
Thumbs up from cameraman Jackie Valentine Jr.’s steadicam
Guillermo O’Bannon: We also have a highly anticipated Hardkore West Coast title match here tonight between the new champion Eron Hunter and Alexander Von Blankenship. Eron lost his mask, but picked up his first Hardkore championship from The Sheik in Phoenix but now he puts it on the line against the ruthless and arrogant AVB.
Phillip Blauer: When AVB wins the Hardkore West Coast title from Eron Hunter tonight maybe we’ll make a custom belt for him as well, and you can have the old one as The Western States Heritage Journalism Championship. Would you like that? You betcha would. That’s my little tiger.
Guillermo O’Bannon: But coming up, Hardkore Helloween. Originally, it’s been 4 barbed wire battle royals, the winners wrestling in a barbed wire tag team match, and then the winning team fights one another for the Helloween Cup.
Phillip Blauer: Sadly, we do not have the roster for that.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Nevertheless, one of these men will grab a piece of eternity tonight. It all started in 1995 when Matthew X’s bodyguard won the Hardkore Helloween Cup. After that it was the Hans Schmutzhausen who won it two years in a row, and then his protege “Superstar” Joe Jeffriees that won it the year after that.
Phillip Blauer: It was under Nazi control for quite some time.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Unfortunately that is true. Speaking of bodyguards, the strongman for the Thorn Cult, Eerie Von won it in 1999.
Phillip Blauer: Ah yes, the man with the one move. He would yell it out…HIPTOSS!!
Guillermo O’Bannon: He didn’t have a tongue, and it was a chokeslam.
Phillip Blauer: No, I can see it in my mind’s eye. The fans would spell it out with cards, and he would put that massive arm under their armpit…
Guillermo O’Bannon: Then in a huge upset, the masked King won it in 2000. Hardkore World closed down for three years after that…
Phillip Blauer: Best years of my life.
Guillermo O’Bannon: And then in 2004, Robert Hunglestien III won it by defeating “Tigerheart” Rally Jackson in the final. In 2005, Andrew Sinclair won the Cup.
Phillip Blauer: Ah yes, the Nightmare Lariat guy.
Guillermo O’Bannon: No, that was Andrew Karnage. This guy was “The Straight Shooter”.
Phillip Blauer: I can sort of picture him. He was Mormon.
Guillermo O’Bannon: That’s still Andrew Karnage. In 2006, Marty Donovan was able to upset “The Punisher” Dan Stein for the Cup.
Phillip Blauer: Dan Stein, a fine barrel chested gentleman. We’re still friends on Facebook. The fish that guy pulls in these days. One of these days I gotta show him how to catch big, fighting marlin on the lake.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Those are ocean fish.
Phillip Blauer: Not if you know where to look, Gipetto.
Guillermo O’Bannon: In 2008, the blood thirsty Lucifer Jones won Helloween.
Phillip Blauer: Intercontinental Matthew X.
Guillermo O’Bannon: That’s mean. The last one to win Hardkore Helloween was the popular Dougie Ray Bullet.
Phillip Blauer: I miss Dougie.
Guillermo O’Bannon: We all do. But tonight we crown a new Helloween Champion in a battle between the new generation and old guard of Hardkore World.
The bell rings and the MGM Music Hall at Fenway roars as the spotlight hits Greg Jin in the center of the ring
Greg Jin: "Hello Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to the MGM Music Hall at Fenway for Hardkore Helloween 2022!!"
Huge pop from the crowd
Greg Jin: "This is The 2022 Helloween Cup! It is a Barbed Wire Falls Count Anywhere Match where the winner will receive The 2022 Helloween Cup as well as a shot at the Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion!"
‘Zerospace’ by the Kidneythieves hits, and the Boston crowd boos fans as the lights focus on the top of the ramp.
Phillip Blauer: That’s what I’ve been saying this whole time. These people get me. You know what? Next round of Dunkin is on me. Wait…(starts counting everyone) Never mind. But the sentiment is still there.
Tuxedo Mask does his customary post to soak in the adulation but he only gets jeers and heckled by the Boston crowd. He looks taken aback by their reaction, but he still holds up the Hardkore World Tag Team Championship to the boos of the MGM Music Hall.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask was last in a Hardkore Helloween in 2009 where he lasted 36 minutes before being eliminated by Shadowstorm. He was despondent recently and seemingly a little down in the dumps about his stamina.
Phillip Blauer: Are we about to do a Blue Chew ad?
Guillermo O’Bannon: I wish! Then we wouldn’t have to run the green funeral lady’s spots anymore. But Ri Eun-Ae gave him a job at her gym, hoping it will get the smallest guy in this match in shape.
Phillip Blauer: I would watch the Powerade fridge if I were her. Those $7 babies can be a goldmine!
Tux straps the belt around his waist and then does a cartwheel handspring into a flip down the ramp to start his entrance but the audience heckles his gymnastic expertise. He slides under the barbed wire and climbs the turnbuckle for one last chance for adoration but only gets scorn for his efforts.
Guillermo O’Bannon: He’s still looking to get some revenge on Ruben Bowman who nearly obliterated Ri Eun-Ae at Irish Rage in Belfast 2022. Tonight would be his best chance to get it, but he needs to watch out for the other participants.
Greg Jin: "Featuring first, hailing from Tokushima, Japan. Coming in at 5 feet 8 inches and Weighing in at 185 pounds; He is One Half of the HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS; He is the uncommon kamen, a connoisseur and a lady lure...TUXEDO MASK!!!"
Then the lights cut and the old Indian head "Please Stand By" TV signal fills the screens.
"Weak and Powerless" by A Perfect Circle starts up and the crowd rocks with boos as images of Syberus in Hardkore World's heyday replace the testing signal. Smoke billows from the ramp and from it Syberus emerges, his robe open and flowing around him as he strides onto the stage
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus has accomplished a lot here in Hardkore World but he has never even competed in a Helloween Cup, something he has always wanted to do. But most importantly he can finally get his hands on “High Roller” Wesley Crane.
Syb takes a brief look around at the jeering crowd with a fan holding up a “Society of the Through Breed” sign before heading down the ramp.
Phillip Blauer: Syberus would be well advised to keep his fish and chips greasy hands off of the High Roller, lest he catch another In The Face, in his face. In fact, he’s lucky I have this neck brace because I would…
Syberus walks past the commentary table and Phil pipes down
Guillermo O’Bannon: You were saying? Syberus wants his Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship back and the best way to do that is to win this Helloween Cup tonight and get a rematch against Disney’s Marty Donovan.
Syberus wipes his feet on the MGM Music Hall before sliding under the barbed wire. He circles the ring for a second before hopping up in one corner and raising the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship in the air.
Greg Jin: “From Manchester, England; Standing 6 feet and Weighing 200 pounds; The only Five Time Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion In History…THE GREAT SYBERUS!!!”
“Seasons in the Abyss” by Stone Sour plays and the fans cheer as Malcolm Xavier Graves walks out with The Sheik who ignores them, even smacking away their hands as they reach out to touch him. MXG also slaps away any attempt to tap him.
Guillermo O’Bannon: These two have been in a dour mood since The Sheik lost his Hardkore West Coast Championship to Eron Hunter in Phoenix. And then lost his XHF Hardcore Title match against Dylan Black in Houston at End of Days.
Phillip Blauer: I wouldn’t want to be in a locker room with him right now, much less a barbed wire wrapped ring.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Malcolm Xavier Graves wanted a rematch against Hunter tonight but he can’t dwell in the past. He’s got a chance to win a shot at Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Disney’s Marty Donovan, and with his wild, unorthodox style he’s got to be one of the favorites to win this whole thing. He has vowed to tear through the six other men in this match, and believe me, he has the ability to do it.
Greg Jin: “Accompanied to the ring by his manager Malcolm Xavier Graves; From The Empty Quarter; Standing 6 feet tall; Weighing 235 pounds; The Man from Rub' al Khali…THE SHEIK!!!”
“Oboro” by Dir En Grey plays and the fans cheer as Kira Izumi walks out in a black leather jacket and an Oni mask, black cargo pants and nikes.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Here he is, the AWF Hall of Famer, AWF Prestige Class Champion, and former XHF Phoenix Champion…Kira Izumi. Hardkore Helloween is open to anyone, and Kira and Little Dragon were the only ones brave enough to answer the challenge. He overcome a horrible childhood, and went on to become a legendary wrestler in AWF, FIW, the AWA, and runs a top notch company in Japan known as J-ROK. Now, he comes out to Hardkore World to participate in a match that is right up his alley.
Phillip Blauer: Look, who had a good childhood? You know my Dad used to come home from the tar fields reeking of the stuff. But he did it to feed his family and give people the tar to make their cigarettes taste delicious, and to pour on the local Tories. And while all I and my siblings wanted to do was jump on his lap and hear a story about the giants that used to roam the earth 10 or so years earlier, he would swing that long chain he wore around his neck in the air to keep us away from him. Funny story, it wound up choking him to death in his sleep one night. I…I…hated that blasted chain.
Phil stares ahead in horror
Guillermo O’Bannon: Phil? Phil? Ok, Kira Izumi has long heard about Hardkore World but says today’s incarnation could use a little help. He’s never been in this kind of match and looks forward to showing some new eyeballs why he’s the Prince of Darkness.
Greg Jin: “From Shinhidaka, Hokkaido, Japan; Standing 6 feet tall; Weighing 200 pounds…KIRA IZUMI!!!”
After a few seconds of “Taurus Shrine” playing, Ruben walks out on to some cheers. Surprised, he nods in their direction then actually seems a little delighted by the recognition. He starts acting humble, thanking them.
Phillip Blauer: Vincent Van Gogh wasn’t appreciated in his lifetime and it cost him his ear. He died penniless. Now they drive around the country charging $60 a pop to do his Immersive Experience Show. Goes to show you. Being ahead of your time is for suckers. Get the love while you can.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman the biggest man in this very violent event, which will be a huge advantage.
Ruben Bowman slides under the barbed wire into the ring, then bows and then goes to wait in the corner.
Greg Jin: “And from Wherever The Muses Dictate; Standing 6 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 285 pounds; He is Poetry in Motion…RUBEN BOWMAN!!!”
The MGM Music Hall lights turn plum purple
"I'm So Paid" by Akon plays as the lights begin pulsing with the beat of Wesley’s theme music.
“Rubbing on that Italian leather
'Dem Konvict jeans on!
Ay yo Weezy!
You Ready, yeah!
I get it in 'till sunrise
Doing ninety in a sixty five
Windows rolled down screaming ah!
Hey-ey-ey' I'm so paid
Number one hustla' gettin' money
Why do you wanna count my money
I'm a hustla' and I don't need them!
One of them y'all see! I'm so paid”
The lights go back to normal and out steps “The High Roller” Wesley Crane to the cheers of the Boston fans.
Phillip Blauer: Here he is, my pick to win the whole thing! Whether it’s at the tables or in the ring, Big Brain Wesley Crane cannot lose!
Wesley Crane stands on the stage and looks around at everyone. He lowers his aviator sunglasses and gives everyone a cocky grin.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Fresh off his controversial debut in the company when he cost Syberus the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship in Phoenix. It cemented his status in The Anointed but also put a huge target on his back for Syberus, not to mention his Society of the New Breed stablemate Tuxedo Mask, also in this match.
“High Roller” Wesley Crane slowly makes his way to the ring, the entire time looking around at the fans.
Phillip Blauer: Does this man look worried? This guy takes calculated risks with tens of thousands of dollars in a weekend. While most of the marks lose their shirts in Vegas and Atlantic City, this man goes where the real action is, Syracuse. He knows exactly what he’s doing, and currently living rent free in Syberus’ head.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Like any successful gambler, Wesley has researched every competitor in this match, paying special attention to Syberus and The Sheik, but he says he has the skills to outlast everyone in this match, since he is the future of Hardkore World.
Crane mockingly wipes his feet on the floor like Syberus did, and then slides under the barbed wire. Syberus snarls at Crane, who ignores him and stands in the center of the ring with his arms wide open.
Greg Jin: “And from Syracuse, New York; Standing 6 feet 1 inch tall, Weighing 223 pounds; He’s All In; The Big Brain…’HIGH ROLLER’ WESLEY CRANE!!!”
A fierce looking dragon slowly raises its head and spews fire and flames before "Set the World on Fire" by Annihilator.
Images of Little Dragon executing various moves in his matches as Little Dragon appears on the rampway, wearing a green sleeveless full body surfer's suit, green ring boots, green MMA cobra gloves and a green mask that covers his face, nose and chin and his waist length dark hair flows freely from the top of his mask and his face and arms and body are covered with dragon tattoos and TAO symbols.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Another man here to accept the challenge of Hardkore Helloween is two time NPW Phoenix Champion Little Dragon.
Phillip Blauer: What’s the big deal of being champion of Phoenix, Arizona?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Not the city, Phil. He’s wrestled in AWF, feuded with the likes of Bloodied Fox, and now he’s here in Hardkore Helloween to vault to the top of the card with a win that gets him a shot at Marty Donovan for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship.
Phillip Blauer: What is he six foot? I expected a much Littler Dragon. Talk about bait & switch.
Little Dragon storms ringside and when he reaches the ring he slides under the barbed wire and forward rolls to his feet in a dragon stance.
Guillermo O’Bannon: When he was a young child, he watched his parents wrestle in Hardkore World. 13 years ago, at Hardkore Helloween 2009, he saw his father Dragon Belt last 32 minutes before he was eliminated by Frank Jasper. His mother, Dragonatrix lasted 49 minutes before being eliminated by Natalie Burrows. Now he attempts to make his own history. His parents taught him to respect his opponents, but he says that will emerge from twisted steel, bloodied and battered but the 2022 Helloween Cup Winner.
Greg Jin: “From Hong Kong, China; Standing 6 feet tall, Weighing 225 pounds; The Dragon of All Trades…LITTLE DRAGON!!!”
The fans cheer and suddenly Syberus lunges towards Welsey Crane but Ruben Bowman cuts him off with a big headbutt with his metal chainmail. The bell rings
HARDKORE HELLOWEEN
Phillip Blauer: Not so fast!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman using that steel chainmail headdress to headbutt Syberus over and over!! Kira Izumi whacks Tuxedo Mask with a right cross, while The Sheik takes over on Syberus with a flurry of punches. Little Dragon cracks the big man, Ruben Bowman with a kick to the ankle.
“High Roller” Wesley Crane smashes Tuxedo Mask with a forearm to the face. Little Dragon whacks Bowman with a stiff kick to the knee. Crane irish whips Tux into Ruben Bowman, but Tuxedo Mask slides through his legs
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask hops onto the middle of the second turnbuckle and backflips into a moonsault that takes out Bowman and Wesley Crane!!
The Boston fans boo. Syberus approaches the downed Crane, but Kira Izumi cuts him off with a left hand, and then a right. Syberus answers with a kick to Izumi’s shin
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi with a stiff right jab to Syberus’ chin, and Syberus hits back with a kick to the knee. Syberus rakes Kira Izumi’s eyes to gain the advantage. This is truly amazing to see these two tangle this early, a match up people have wanted to see for a while.
Phillip Blauer: Message boards have discussed who would win this encounter countless times in lieu of the soft touch of a woman.
Kira Izumi blocks Syberus’ punch with his forearm, and counters with one of his own. Meanwhile, The Sheik kicks Wesley Crane in the stomach
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik smacks Crane on the back with a forearm, but now a bent over Crane elbows Sheik in the stomach.
Tuxedo Mask: This is for Ri Eun-Ae!
Tuxedo Mask rears back and clocks Ruben Bowman with a right hand. Bowman’s head turns to the side, and then he no-sells it and glares at Tux. The MGM Music Hall cheers
Phillip Blauer: When is this joker gonna realize he doesn’t have George McFly strength?
Tux shakes out his hand in pain while he backs off, trying to calm Ruben Bowman down. The Boston crowd calls for Tuxedo Mask’s blood while near the barbed wire, Kira Izumi boots Syberus in the stomach
Guillermo O’Bannon: He’s defending his best friend Ri Eun-Ae, but maybe that wasn’t the best approach. Bowman bashes Tux in the face a few times, and then beal tosses him across the ring!
The audience roars as Tux sits up in a mix of pain and surprise. Kira goes for a saito suplex, but Syberus blocks it and applies a headlock. Tuxedo Mask scoots under the barbed wire out of the ring to catch a breather. Wesley Crane irish whips Little Dragon into the turnbuckles
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik charges into the corner but Little Dragon puts his knees up into Sheik’s face, and Wesley Crane catches Sheik with a jawbreaker. Ruben Bowman headbutts The Sheik with that metal chainmail headdress, stunning him. Bowman pulls Sheik up and tries to push his face into the barbed wire!
The fans pop and some women scream at the possibility of the barbed wire being used, but The Sheik puts the breaks on. Syberus locks his hands together, clamping down on the headlock on Kira Izumi
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik trying to avoid becoming the first to encounter that barbed wire but Ruben Bowman is the strongest guy in this match. The Sheik finally back elbows Bowman in the eye to stop him in his tracks.
A sigh of relief goes through the MGM Music Hall at Fenway. Tuxedo Mask, sensing an opportunity, climbs to the top turnbuckle
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask leaps off the top rope and catches a blinded Ruben Bowman with a tornado DDT!!
Tuxedo Mask celebrates over the jeers of the crowd. Syberus flips Kira Izumi onto his back with a side headlock takedown
Guillermo O’Bannon: Little Dragon gets on top of Ruben Bowman and does a ground and pound technique, raining blows down on Ruben Bowman, knocking off that chainmail headgear. Meanwhile, The Great Syberus continuing to wear down Kira with that headlock.
Dragon pulls Bowman up and irish whips him, but Bowman reverses it and shoots Little Dragon into the turnbuckles. Dragon bounces out of the corner and Bowman back drops him high into the air
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman applies a reverse chinlock on Little Dragon. Most of the men in this match are playing it pretty safe right now, trying to avoid the barbed wire for now.
Phillip Blauer: Quite a sound plan if you ask me.
Kira Izumi plants his feet and drops Syberus on the back of his head with a saito suplex. The fans cheer as the impact sits Syberus up before he falls back down to the mat
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman continuing to wear down Little Dragon with the reverse chinlock while he’s on one knee. Little Dragon fights to his feet and elbows Bowman in the breadbasket.
The Sheik stomps Syberus while he’s on the mat. Little Dragon elbows Bowman again to free himself from the reverse chinlock
Guillermo O’Bannon: Little Dragon takes Ruben Bowman over in a Mexican armdrag. The Sheik turns his attention to Tuxedo Mask and slugs him with a right hand. Another punch has Tux teetering towards the barbed wire!
Phillip Blauer: Yes! Mess his pretty little face up.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Phil! Little Dragon flips an oncoming Ruben Bowman with another Mexican armdrag and then applies an armbar. The Sheik goes for another big right hand, but Tux does a split!
The Sheik misses his right cross, and Tuxedo Mask punches him in the groin. Little Dragon sticks his knee into the ball of Bowman’s shoulder and clamps down on his arm
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane hits a bent over Sheik with a jumping knee to the face. Syberus tries to get up, but Crane catches him with a stiff kick to the ribs, rolling him over to the mat
Tuxedo Mask saves Syberus by grabbing Crane by the arm from behind and twists his arm, rolling him into a la majistral cradle. Richie Richardson slides over to make the count
…ONE!
…Wesley Crane kicks out!
Phillip Blauer: Look out Wesley, those Society of New Breeds are everywhere!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Little Dragon still working on Ruben Bowman’s arm with that armbar, but Bowman has gotten to his feet with him hanging onto his arm. He uses his massive strength to hip toss Little Dragon across the ring with his armbarred arm!
The fans cheer that show of power as Dragon sits up in pain. Kira Izumi irish whips The Sheik into the corner, but he hops onto the second turnbuckle
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik hops back with an elbow that takes out Kira Izumi, and Ruben Bowman follows it up with a leg drop across Izumi’s face.
The Sheik pulls Kira Izumi up into a suplex position, but Izumi sandbags him and blocks it. He counters with a suplex of his own and then drops Sheik on his head with a brainbuster
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman scoops Little Dragon up and bodyslams him, but Dragon catches him with an inside cradle on the way down!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Ruben Bowman kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus catches Bowman getting up with an armdrag. Ruben Bowman gets to his feet and gets blasted with a hard chop by Kira Izumi.
Another hard chop from Izumi to Ruben’s chest gets a “Woo!” from the Boston crowd. The Sheik blocks a punch from Little Dragon
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik kicks Little Dragon in the stomach and drills his head into the mat with a DDT! Tuxedo Mask irish whips Wesley Crane but he reverses it and shoots Tux into the corner
“High Roller” Wesley Crane charges and hits Tux with a knee in the corner. Tux staggers out of the corner and tries to kick Crane but he catches Tux’s leg
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tux swings around with an enzuigiri! Crane is staggered, and Tuxedo Mask takes him out with a roundhouse kick!
Kira Izumi goes for a suplex, but the 6’7 Ruben Bowman puts a stop to that. He plants his feet and counters with a suplex of his own. The Sheik hops onto the middle turnbuckle
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik backflips into a moonsault body press, but Little Dragon catches him and turns it into a powerslam!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…The Sheik kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus finally gets his hands on Wesley Crane!
The audience boos and jeers while Wesley Crane motions for a quick time out.
Phillip Blauer: The man needs a timeout! Is there not a shred of sportsmanship left in this man??
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus grabs Wesley Crane by the hair and smashes his face into the turnbuckle over and over!!
The jeers get louder. On the other side of the ring, Ruben Bowman butterflies The Sheik’s arms
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman double underhook suplexes The Sheik across the ring, while Syberus continues to smash Crane’s head into the turnbuckle over in the corner!
Wesley Crane flops out of the corner from the impact. Kira Izumi grabs a handful of Bowman’s hair from behind
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi headbutts Ruben Bowman from behind. Tuxedo Mask grabs Bowman around the neck in a cravate and then backflips into a shiranui seated DDT!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Ruben Bowman kicks out!
The audience boos Tux as Ruben Bowman rolls under the barbed wire to escape to the floor. Wesley Crane tells Syberus to back off as he scoots back on the mat. Tux slaps the mat in frustration. Tuxedo grabs The Sheik by the hair and pulls him to his feet
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask irish whips The Sheik, but Sheik reverses it and shoots Tuxedo Mask into the barbed wire!! He’s the first man, but not the last, to taste the wicked wire.
The Boston crowd erupts in cheers as Tuxedo Mask arches his back in pain, stuck in the wicked wire. Syberus pulls Crane up by the hair and bashes him with several hard elbows to the face
Phillip Blauer: I’m glad it was him. That sounded written. Did you write that?
Guillermo O’Bannon: No. The Sheik charges in with a heel kick that presses Tuxedo Mask deeper into the barbed wire!!
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway roars as Malcolm Xavier Graves celebrates at ringside. Tuxedo Mask rolls under the barbed wire and falls to the floor at the ringside area
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane ducks one of the elbows from Syberus and hits him with a german suplex!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Syberus rolls his shoulder up!
Guillermo O’Bannon: The last time Syberus was at Hardkore Helloween was 14 years ago in 2008, when he successfully defended the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship in a threeway match between the late Adrian Tanner Jr. and RDS..hey, Hey! What are you doing?
Phillip Blauer: (reading the writing on Guillermo’s palm) “He’s the first man, but not the last, to taste the wicked wire.” I knew it. He wrote it down.
Guillermo O’Bannon: It’s a good line. The Sheik grabs Kira Izumi around the neck in a headlock, and then thumbs him in the throat. Meanwhile, Little Dragon gets a running start, dives over the barbed wire and catches Ruben Bowman out on the floor with a plancha!!
The fans cheer as referee Richie Richardson makes the count out on the floor
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Ruben Bowman kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: You can get eliminated anywhere in Boston tonight at Helloween!
Phillip Blauer: That’s just crackers. Are we living in a world gone mad?
Inside the ring, Syberus slowly gets to his feet but Wesley Crane running european uppercuts him back to the mat
Guillermo O’Bannon: Little Dragon gets a running start here at ringside, but Ruben Bowman catches him with a belly to belly suplex over the railing into the audience!!
The crowd pops as Little Dragon lies in the front row at the feet of some starstruck fans.
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik goes for a sling blade but Kira Izumi ducks it and grabs him in a half nelson hammerlock. Izumi drops him in a tiger suplex!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…The Sheik rolls his shoulder up!
Syberus slides under the barbed wire and then stands up on the apron. Ruben Bowman steps over the railing, but a bleeding Tuxedo Mask grabs him
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask pulls the railing up so it hits the perched Ruben Bowman in the railing!!
The audience boos as Bowman grimaces in pain. Inside the ring, Kira Izumi blocks a suplex by The Sheik and reverses it into a brainbuster
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tux koppo kicks the crotched Ruben Bowman with a koppo kick that knocks him into the audience!!
Wesley Crane comes over to grab Syberus but Syberus grabs Crane by the wrist and drops down to the arena floor, hanging his biceps across the barbed wire!! The audience lets out a collective “OH!! Crane screams in pain and drops to the mat, clutching his bleeding arm
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus dropped Crane’s arm in the barbed wire! Now that he has him, the former Hardkore World Champion has been laser focused on the man that cost him that title.
Crane clutches his bicep with blood seeping out through his fingers as he kicks his toes in the mat.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi irish whips The Sheik into the corner, but he hops onto the middle turnbuckle and twists back into a flying body press!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Kira Izumi kicks out!
Out in the audience, Little Dragon smashes Ruben Bowman’s face into the metal guardrail
Guillermo O’Bannon: Little Dragon grabs Bowman’s hair and rams his face into the security rail again! Bowman returns fire with several withering right hands that back Little Dragon back into the crowd!
Syberus slides back into the ring but he catches his calf on the barbed wire on the way in, and clutches at his leg
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane spears Syberus into the barbed wire!!
The MGM Music Hall rocks with cheers as Syberus is crucified in the barbed wire. Crane lies on his back, holding his bleeding arm. Tuxedo Mask climbs to the top turnbuckle
Phillip Blauer: Wesley Crane masterfully took advantage of that momentary distraction to just t-bone Syberus into the barbed wire.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask jumps off the top turnbuckle into a corkscrew moonsault that takes out both Little Dragon and Ruben Bowman out in the second row!!
A busted open Tux, Dragon and Bowman lie in a sea of chairs and sticky floors. Inside the ring, Kira Izumi wraps up Syberus’ legs with his leg, and then bridges back into a muta lock, popping the the crowd
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi locks his hands under Syberus’ chin and pulls up on his head and neck. Out on the floor, a bleeding Tuxedo Mask tosses Little Dragon over the railing into the ringside area.
Kelly O’Connell checks in with Syberus to see if he wants to give up to Kira’s muta lock, but he shakes his head, refusing to give up. Tuxedo Mask grabs Little Dragon in a headlock out on the floor, while Ruben Bowman climbs over the railing
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane stomps Syberus while he’s in Kira Izumi’s muta lock. Out in front of us, Little Dragon pushes Tuxedo Mask off, shoulderfirst into the cornerpost! Ruben Bowman then big boots his head into the ringpost!!
The MGM Music Hall lets out a huge “OH!!” at the sound of the clang of Tux’s head hitting the post
Phillip Blauer: Tuxedo Mask bleeding buckets of blood before, and now he is out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman presses Tuxedo Mask over his head!
The fans cheer as Bowman effortlessly holds him up over his head, letting everyone get a good shot of it. Suddenly a woman hops the rail
Guillermo O’Bannon: It’s Ri Eun-Ae!
Phillip Blauer: And she’s got a taser!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ri Eun-Ae tases Ruben Bowman in the stomach and Tuxedo Mask falls on top of him!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THREE!
Greg Jin: “At 24 minutes 14 seconds; RUBEN BOWMAN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY TUXEDO MASK!!”
Phillip Blauer: What?? That little…? She can’t…
Guillermo O’Bannon: Bowman messed with her in Northern Ireland and it looks like this was their plan all along. Inside the ring, “High Roller” Wesley Crane grabs Syberus around the neck and flips into the barbed wire with an exploder!!
Huge ovation for Wesley Crane as Syberus rolls around the mat in pain, bleeding. Ruben Bowman doesn’t want to leave but Hardkore security Larry Valentine Jr. convinces him to walk to the back. The Sheik slides under the barbed wire and climbs to the second turnbuckle
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik with an elbow drop off the second turnbuckle onto a still prone and bleeding Tuxedo Mask!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Ri Eun-Ae stomps the back of Sheik’s head
The Sheik gets up and stares at Ri Eun-Ae who backs away slowly. The Boston fans cheer her predicament
Guillermo O’Bannon: Oh, come on.
Phillip Blauer: If Ri Eun-Ae wanted to sign up for this match all she had to do was ask.
Inside the ring, Kira Izumi picks Syberus up into a suplex, and then rests his feet on the barbed wire and ropes. Then he twists Syberus into a dragon screw neck whip! Outside the ring, Ri Eun-Ae backs into Malcolm Xavier Graves, trapping her between him and an oncoming Sheik as the audience buzzes with anticipation
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik fuming as he stares at Ri Eun-Ae…but Little Dragon smashes him in the back with a waffling chair shot!!
The Sheik goes down and Ri Eun-Ae escapes back out through the crowd
Guillermo O’Bannon: Little Dragon grew up watching Ri Eun-Ae when she was two time Hardkore World Women’s Champion Makoto Jupiter, and he wasn’t going to let the sadistic Sheik or Malcolm Xavier Graves touch her!
Inside the ring, Wesley Crane scoops Syberus up, but he falls behind him with an inverted facelock and drops down into a reverse DDT!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Wesley Crane kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus picks him up into a single underhook and goes for the Pure Confidence DDT, but Crane lifts him up into a fireman’s carry and runs him into the center of the ring with a death valley driver!!
A bleeding Syberus sits up from the impact and then falls back down. At ringside, Little Dragon the chair over his head to hit The Sheik but Malcolm Xavier Graves grabs the chair from behind, and they start wrestling for it
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ok, so if MXG wanted to be in Hardkore Helloween why didn’t he sign up?
Phillip Blauer: Oh well, it’s a whole thing. You gotta find the sign up sheet, and the damn pen has to have ink…
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik kicks Little Dragon in his exposed stomach. Now he DDTs Dragon’s head on the concrete!!
The Boston fans cheer. Inside the ring, Wesley Crane moves in on Syberus but the veteran basement dropkicks his legs out from under him and Crane falls facefist into the barbed wire!! The MGM Music Hall rocks with boos
Phillip Blauer: No!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wesley Crane now on his knees, trying to pull a barbed wire strand out that has been caught on his hair. At ringside, Tuxedo Mask grabs The Sheik from behind with an inverted facelock and reverse suplexes Sheik’s stomach onto the railing!! But wait, Syberus gets a running start and running leg lariat’s the back of Crane’s head, pushing his face farther into the barbed wire!!
Phillip Blauer: This action has gotten too much to call. I give up. More so, than usual
The audience boos as a bleeding Syberus bounces up and down on his back, increasing the pain. Meanwhile, Little Dragon dismantles the ringsteps and lifts them high above his head as he walks over to the perched Sheik on the railing
Guillermo O’Bannon: Little Dragon smashes Sheik with those ring steps!!
The thud of the ringsteps echoes through the MGM Music Hall at Fenway. Syberus violently pulls Crane’s face out of the barbed wire, and tosses him to the mat. Crane’s face leaks blood all over the canvas. Slowly, Crane gets up to his knees, but Kira Izumi whacks him in the side of the head with a shining wizard
Guillermo O’Bannon: Itami no Izumi by Kira Izumi!
Phillip Blauer: My stars, he’s speaking in tongues!
Guillermo O’Bannon: No that’s the name of the…you know what? I’m not doing this. Wesley Crane staggers to his feet but Syberus catches him with a diamond cutter!
The Boston fans heckle Syberus the camera pushes into his eyes gleaming at a bloody Crane face down on the mat. He pulls Wesley up into a single underhook
Phillip Blauer: Someone stop him! Larry!
Hardkore Security Larry Valentine Jr. shrugs and suddenly Disney’s Marty Donovan and Alexander Von Blankenship slide under the barbed wire, popping the crowd
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship throws Syberus up into a faceplant by Marty Donovan!! Come on!
Phillip Blauer: My god, I was so scared…I can’t…I can’t catch my breath.
The crowd celebrates and Marty rolls Wesley Crane over onto a prone, bleeding pink haired Syberus. Kelly O’Connell makes the count from the outside
…ONE!
…TWO!
,,,THREE!
Greg Jin: “At 32 minutes 31 seconds; THE GREAT SYBERUS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY ‘HIGH ROLLER’ WESLEY CRANE!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan wanted no part of a rematch with Syberus so he conspired with Wesley Crane and AVB to eliminate him from Helloween.
Phillip Blauer: A heavy favorite to win the whole thing, eliminated, and for what? Syberus got himself eliminated by picking on the poor kid the whole match.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Donovan and Von Blankenship escape the ring like rats. Meanwhile, The Sheik and Little Dragon are fighting out in the crowd. Sheik backs Dragon up with a right hand and then grabs a chair. He brings it crashing down onto the skull of Little Dragon!!
The fans cheer Sheik as Dragon lays sprawled out in a couple of seats in the 6th row. In the aisle, Hardkore physician David Valentine Jr. helps Syberus to the back. Inside the ring, Kira Izumi grabs Wesley Crane and turns him over into a boston crab. A bleeding Tuxedo Mask slides under the barbed wire back into the ring
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi sits low on that boston crab, bending Wesley Crane in half.
Phillip Blauer: Is this because Big Brain Wesley Crane never heard of him?
Guillermo O’Bannon: I’m sure it didn’t help.
The Sheik goes to grab him by the hair, but Dragon tosses a handful of powder in his face!! Sheik staggers around the audience blinded, and walks into the railing, flipping over into the ringside area. Meanwhile, inside the ring, Wesley Crane bleeds all over the canvas while Kelly O’Connell asks him if he wants to tap out to Kira Izumi’s boston crab
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask baseball slides under the barbed wire and catches The Sheik with a helicopter rana on the floor!!
The audience jeers as Sheik, with powder all over his face and chest, lies out on the floor next to a bloody Tuxedo Mask. Little Dragon gingerly rolls back onto the apron. Kira Izumi releases the boston crab and slides under the barbed wire out onto the floor
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi picks The Sheik up and irish whips him so hard into the railing that he falls against the hard steel!
Izumi picks up a chair and holds it in front of The Sheik’s face. Little Dragon gets a running start off the apron and van terminator kicks the chair into Sheik’s head!! The MGM Music Hall lets out a collective “OH!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask reenters the ring and goes for a suplex on Crane, but Wesley puts the brakes on. He counters with a suplex but drops him on his head with a brainbuster!
The Boston crowd cheers, and Crane twists his hips and rolls back to his feet. Wesley lifts him up for another brainbuster and lets him fall to the earth skull first
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane rolls those hips again and lifts Tuxedo Mask up into a third and final brainbuster!
Kira Izumi pulls The Sheik up by the hair, but Malcolm Xavier Graves jabs him in the stomach with the butt of his cane
Guillermo O’Bannon: Izumi now doubled over in pain after that interference by MXG, and The Sheik takes advantage with sitout X factor on the floor
The audience groans at the sickening thud of Izumi’s face hitting the concrete. Little Dragon grabs The Sheik by the hair and pushes his face into the barbed wire!! Sheik falls back clutching his face
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik now gets some barbed wire to face. Wesley Crane irish whips Tux but Tuxedo Mask reverses it and shoots him into the corner. He handsprings into a hurricanrana that takes Crane out of the corner!
Malcolm Xavier Graves sets up a chair at ringside. Little Dragon climbs to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a shooting star press but Kira Izumi moves out of the way and he hits the railing hard getting another “OH!!” from Boston
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi pulls Little Dragon’s head into his legs and lifts him up into a Decayed State Of Mind piledriver on the concrete!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Little Dragon kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Izumi loads Little Dragon on that table, punching him a few times to keep him there. The Sheik moonsaults off the top turnbuckle onto Dragon through the table!!
Huge pop from the crowd as Richie Richardson slides over and makes the count
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Little Dragon kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask handsprings into a spear but “High Roller” Wesley Crane reverses it into a jumping spinning DDT!!
Kira Izumi pulls Little Dragon up by the hair and tries to push his face into the barbed wire but Dragon puts the brakes on by putting his foot on the apron
Guillermo O’Bannon: Little Dragon raking Izumi’s face back and forth on the barbed wire, tearing his forehead to shreds!!
Dragon turns around into a running slingblade by a crimson masked Sheik. Izumi, slightly blinded from the blood running down into his eyes, pulls Dragon up into a double underhook, and flips him into his tiger driver ‘91
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Driver ‘91 on the floor!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THREE!
Greg Jin: “At 40 minutes 17 seconds; LITTLE DRAGON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY KIRA IZUMI!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Inside the ring, Wesley Crane pulls Tux up into another DDT, but Tuxedo Mask lifts him up into a fireman’s carry and then spins him into a TKO on the barbed wire!!
Crane flops on the mat, holding his face as blood leaks through his fingers. At ringside, The Sheik brings a chair down hard on the back of Izumi, and then jams the top of the chair in his ribs
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask steps on the backs of Crane’s knees and rolls him up into a dragon sleeper surfboard! Tuxmission ‘99!!
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway as a blood drenched Wesley Crane is lifted in the air, with his head and neck being bent back. Outside the ring, Kira Izumi wrestles the chair away from The Sheik
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi crowns The Sheik with that chair!! In the ring in front of us, Tuxedo Mask bending Crane in half but Wesley refusing to give up.
Kira Izumi slides under the barbed wire into the ring and stomps Crane’s exposed stomach while he’s in the Tuxmission ‘99, breaking the hold. He climbs to the top turnbuckle from inside the ring
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi with a moonsault off the top rope onto “High Roller” Wesley Crane!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Wesley Crane kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik slides under the barbed wire into the ring and irish whips Kira into the corner. He charges in and hits Izumi with a heel kick!
Kira Izumi sinks down into the corner in a sitting position. Tuxedo Mask cartwheels into a handspring into a bronco buster
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tux Buster! The Sheik goes for a leg drop on Crane, but Wesley rolls out of the way.
Tuxedo Mask pulls Kira Izumi up and shoots him into the opposite corner, but Izumi runs up the turnbuckles and backflips over an oncoming Tux and lands behind him with a full nelson and dragon suplexes him
Guillermo O’Bannon: Konjiki Ashisogi Jizō!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Tuxedo Mask rolls his shoulder up!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wesley Crane butterflies Sheik’s arms and drives his head into the mat with a double arm DDT!
All four men lie on the mat, totally exhausted, and bleeding. The MGM Music Hall at Fenway give them a big round of applause for the effort these men have given thus far
Phillip Blauer: Is this for me? God, I love this town!
Guillermo O’Bannon: No, Phil. This is for these men brutalizing one another for nearly 45 minutes. All to be etched in The Helloween Cup that goes back to 1995, and get a shot at Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Disney’s Marty Donovan.
Phillip Blauer: Nah, that kind of applause sounds different. This is more of a “Can’t believe his hair still looks that amazing. How does he do it?” You get an ear for those kind of things. The answer? Fresh placenta.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ew.
Phillip Blauer: Oh you gotta get it fresh, Ginger Snap. I gotta guy. You want me to put you in touch with my placenta guy?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Dear God, no.
Phillip Blauer: Sorry, Larry.
Hardkore head of security Larry Valentine Jr. looks deflated. Kira Izumi is the first to his feet and goes to hit Tuxedo Mask with another shining wizard, but Tux covers up, so Izumi grabs him by the arm and drops down into an armbar
Guillermo O’Bannon: Izumi Special! Wesley Crane irish whips The Sheik into the corner, but he runs up the turnbuckles and twists back into a flying body press!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Wesley Crane kicks out!
Kira Izumi looks like he was dipped in blood as he wrenches back on Tux’s arm. Kelly O’Connell checks in but Tux is barely answering anymore. She tests Tux’s arm and he limply keeps it up
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi releases the Izumi Special, and pulls Tux up by his bloodsoaked hair. He blows that poison mist in Tuxedo Mask’s eyes!!
The fans cheer and Kira Izumi begins to apply la oropezina submission on a blinded Tuxedo Mask. He ties up their legs, sticks Tux’s head into his waist and then hooks his other leg with his arms
Guillermo O’Bannon: McDonald’s Sprite!! He pulls up on that leg while putting pressure on the back of Tuxedo Mask’s neck. The Sheik comes over to the High Roller but Crane superkicks him upside the head! Tux submits to McDonald’s Sprite!
Greg Jin: “At 48 minutes 29 seconds; TUXEDO MASK HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY KIRA IZUMI!!”
Phillip Blauer: And then there were three!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Hardkore Helloween is now a threeway dance between Kira Izumi, The Sheik, and Wesley Crane. Crane on the top rope and comes crashing down across Sheik’s chest with a flying elbow!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Wesley Crane kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi pulls The Sheik up by his blood drenched hair, and slugs him in the face. Sheik counters with a punch of his own, and then kicks Izumi in the stomach. He scoops Izumi up and drops him on his head with a michinoku driver II!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Kira Izumi kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wesley Crane applies a dragon sleeper on Kira Izumi. The Sheik kicks and stomps Kira while he’s locked in. It looks as though these two have decided to team up to try and do maximum damage to the former AWF World Champion.
Kelly O’Connell in the ring now, checking to see if Kira Izumi wants to tap out. The fans cheer Crane, as he leans back on Izumi’s head & neck
Phillip Blauer: If Marty Crane is able to make Izumi tap out, it will be quite a feather in his cap.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wesley.
Phillip Blauer: What?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wesley Crane. You said Marty Crane. That’s Frasier’s dad.
Phillip Blauer: I assumed they were the same guy.
“High Roller” Wesley Crane releases the dragon sleeper and The Sheik leg drops him on the back of his head. Crane pulls Kira to his feet. He backs up and then charges in, hitting Kira with a running european uppercut
Guillermubno O’Bannon: The Sheik irish whips Kira Izumi into the corner. He follows him in with a elbow, but Kira ducks it and counters with a saito suplex!
Wesley Crane comes running in but Kira Izumi back body drops him over his shoulder, high in to the lights before crashing down to the mat! He sits up in pain, with blood running down his face
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi taking on all comers here! Now he grabs Sheik’s legs and twists them around into an Indian deathlock, then drops down to the mat!
The Sheik shrieks in pain as Izumi presses down on his twisted legs. Kelly O’Connell checks in to see if Sheik wants to submit, but he shakes his head no
Guillermo O’Bannon: Izumi locks his fingers and pulls back on The Sheik’s ankle while while pushing against his foot with his own. The Sheik tries to fight out of it with forearms.
The Sheik bleeds on the mat, and suddenly Wesley Crane starts kicking Izumi while his legs are tangled with The Sheik
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane lifts Kira into a suplex, but Izumi floats over onto his feet behind him. He double underhooks Crane’s arms and lifts him up into a Decayed State of Mind!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Wesley Crane kicks out!
Kira bleeds from several lacerations on his forehead. He sits up and questions Kelly O’Connell on her count. He pounds the mat in frustration and then slides under the barbed wire to the floor below. He pulls out a table
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi is tired of messing around. He slides that table into the ring, and then follows it in there.
The Boston fans cheers as Izumi sets the table up. He lifts Crane up by the blood soaked hair and starts to roll him on the table but Malcolm Xavier Graves slides under the barbed wire into the ring
Guillermo O’Bannon: MXG breaks that cane across the back of Izumi’s head!!
Kira Izumi’s eyes roll around and then he collapses on Wesley Crane on the table. Crane slides underneath him, and onto his feet.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Malcolm Xavier Graves blatantly interfering in this match with that cowardly act!
Phillip Blauer: The handicapped get all the breaks. That’s why I park in their spaces.
Malcolm Xavier Graves hands Crane a chair while The Sheik climbs to the top turnbuckle
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wesley Crane holds that chair over Kira Izumi’s face and The Sheik comes off the top turnbuckle with an Arabian facebuster through the table!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THREE!
Greg Jin: “At 55 minutes 16 seconds; KIRA IZUMI HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY THE SHEIK!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Malcolm Xavier Graves inserting himself into this match, sullying it as usual.
Phillip Blauer: MXG takes the extra step for his clients.
The Sheik stands up and glares at Wesley Crane as the fans applaud
Phillip Blauer: The final two are now on The Road to Helloween!
Guillermo O’Bannon: That’s good.
Phillip Blauer: Right off the top of my head.
Crane and Sheik circle one another cautiously while Hardkore physician David Valentine Jr. helps a drained, exhausted and bloody out of the table rubble
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik clubs Crane with a forearm, and Crane counters with a right hook.
Sheik kicks Crane in the stomach, and then elbows him on the back of his neck. Sheik reaches back and cracks Crane with a hard right uppercut. He grabs Wesley in a sleeper
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik clamps down on his head and neck, thrashing him from side to side with that sleeper hold.
Kelly O’Connell checks Wesley Crane’s arm and it almost falls, but Crane catches it, popping the Boston audience
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wesley Crane drops to his knees, shooting the top of his head through Sheik’s chin! Sheik staggers around and Crane clocks him with another superkick!!
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway roars and Sheik goes down like a redwood. An exhausted Wesley Crane crawls over and collapses on Sheik
…ONE!
…TWO!
…The Sheik kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane flips The Sheik across the ring with an exploder suplex!
The fans cheer as Sheik is sprawled out on the mat. Crane wipes some blood out of his eyes as he walks over and pulls Sheik’s head into his legs
Guillermo O’Bannon: Crane lifts him up into a powerbomb but The Sheik rolls out and reverses it into a facebuster!!
Crane lies on the mat, bleeding all over the Hardkore World logo. Malcolm Xavier Graves pounds on the apron at ringside while The Sheik pulls on his arm and drops down into a LeBell lock
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik locks his hands together and peels back on Crane’s head and neck, while scissoring Wesley’s twisted arm.
The Boston fans boo as blood drips down Crane’s face, while he shakes his head, refusing to tap out to Kelly O’Connell. MXG bellows at ringside, urging Crane to give up
Phillip Blauer: Think of the fans, Wesley! Think of the guys who put money on you to win Helloween and then parlayed it with the Jets game and who the Masked Singer is this week.
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik rocks back on his head and neck, while driving his knees into Crane’s chicken winged arm. He finally releases the LeBell lock and then pulls him to his feet. The Sheik irish whips Wesley Crane into the barbed wire!!
The MGM Music Hall rocks with boos as Wesley Crane stands, crucified in the barbed wire and screaming in pain
Phillip Blauer: At this time, I want to appeal to The Sheik’s benevolent and tender side…
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik charges in with a heel kick that pushes Wesley Crane deeper into that sadistic barbed wire!!
The audience boos as Wesley Crane screams in pain and bleeds on the mat. The Sheik steps on his back and applies the accolade
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik applies The Last Crusade! He locks his hands together around Crane’s chin and jawline and yanks back on his head.
“High Roller” Wesley Crane bleeds all over Sheik’s forearms while he clamps down on The Last Crusade. Kelly O’Connell asks Wesley Crane if he wants to submit but he doesn’t answer
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kelly O’Connell tests Wesley Crane’s arms in that Last Crusade but he keeps it up. The Sheik releases Crane’s head, then starts stomping his head over and over.
The Sheik climbs to the top turnbuckle from inside the ring as Malcolm Xavier Graves sings his praises to the ringside fans
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik backflips into a moonsault!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Wesley Crane kicks out!
The Sheik slaps the canvas and mutters to himself while MXG complains to Kelly O’Connell about a slow count. Graves slides a chair into the ring
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik lies that chair over Wesley Crane’s face and climbs to the top turnbuckle. He leaps off with a leg drop, but Crane moves so he just hits that chair with his leg!!
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway erupts with cheers as The Sheik clutches his knee and crows out in pain. Malcolm Xavier Graves scolds Kelly O’Connell for having a chair in the ring
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane pulls a hobbling Sheik up and irish whips him into the barbed wire!!
The fans are deafening as Crane bashes Sheik’s face into the barbed wire over and over!! Sheik blindly staggers away, and Wesley Crane catches him with an RKO
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wesley Crane with an HRKO!! He climbs to the top turnbuckle and basks in the glow of the crowd!
The Boston crowd chants “WES-LEY! WES-LEY! WES-LEY!” as Wesley Crane stands on the top turnbuckle with his arms stretched out
Guillermo O’Bannon: Crane leaps off with a flying elbow into the chest of The Sheik!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
….THREE!!!
The audience erupts as “High Roller” Wesley Crane remains on top of Sheik, not moving. "I'm So Paid" by Akon plays through the MGM Music Hall at Fenway
Phillip Blauer: This is better than any of my children’s births. No question!
Greg Jin: “At 1 hour 4 minutes 23 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE 2022 HARDKORE HELLOWEEN CUP…’HIGH ROLLER’ WESLEY CRANE!!!”
Wesley Crane rolls off of The Sheik, who collects his client. The Boston fans shower applause down on Crane as he lies against the bottom turnbuckle in the corner. Hardkore ring crew Donnie Valentine Jr. along with Hardkore intern Andy Valentine Jr. begin clipping the barbed wire with clippers
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane lasted over an hour, tossed into barbed wire, and bled all over the place to become the 2022 Hardkore Helloween Cup Winner!
Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Disney’s Marty Donovan and Alexander Von Blankenship enter the ring and help Wesley Crane to his feet
Phillip Blauer: The Anointed here to celebrate with their Helloween Cup winner, Wesley Crane!
The hometown crowd cheers Marty Donovan while he and AVB hug the blood drenched and slightly confused Wesley Crane
Guillermo O’Bannon: Donovan and AVB certainly helped him win this thing.
Phillip Blauer: Why do you have to be like that? Honestly, what is wrong with you?
Hardkore Jonnie Valentine walks into the ring with the large Hardkore Helloween Cup
Guillermo O’Bannon: This is history right here. Wesley Crane’s name will be etched in that trophy alongside the names of Kilboy Powerhead, Hans Schmutzhausen, Joe Jeffires, Eerie Von, King, Robert Hunglestien III, Andrew Sinclair, Andrew Karnage, Lucifer Jones, Dougie Ray Bullet; and not to mention, standing in the ring with him, current Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion, Disney’s Marty Donovan.
Valentine stands in front of AVB, Donovan, and Wesley Crane with the Helloween trophy. Greg Jin puts the microphone to Jonnie’s lips
Hardkore Jonnie Valentine: “That was incredible. Decades of Hardkore Helloweens violence and I think some of the best was tonight here in Boston!”
The MGM Music Hall pops. Wesley Crane nods his head, while Marty motions for the crowd to make some more noise
Hardkore Jonnie Valentine: “Wesley Crane, I am honored to present you with something you earned tonight with blood, sweat, and tears. Wesley Crane, you are the 2022 Hardkore Helloween Cup Winner!”
The Boston fans let out an ear splitting pop as Jonnie Valentine hands Wesley Crane his Hardkore Helloween Cup. Crane grins from ear to ear as he holds up the trophy
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane makes history here tonight, not to mention earns himself a Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship against Disney’s Marty Donovan at a future date.
Phillip Blauer: Never mind about that, it will be handled like gentleman. The Anointed have won Hardkore Helloween, Alexander Von Blankenship will win the Hardkore West Coast Championship from Eron Hunter, and Marty will successfully defend his Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship over Kilroy Evans. It’s gonna be a clean sweep!
Wesley Crane stands on the second turnbuckle, holding the Hardkore Helloween Cup while AVB snarls behind him, pumping his head to "I'm So Paid" by Akon. Marty Donovan seems to eye him nervously, while pointing at him
Guillermo O’Bannon: Sure, we’ll see how true that is, as well as how Marty handles his stablemate having the next title shot against him. But fans, don’t go away we have the aforementioned Hardkore West Coast title match coming up between Eron Hunter and Alexander Von Blaneknship! Don’t go away!
***commercial***
A well dressed blonde in a pink dress is standing in a pizzeria adorned with art from the modernism period of the late 50’s and early 60’s. To her right is an older rich man. He’s balding and in his 60’s and looks pretty stressed out. A large pizza is on a table in front of them
Owner: Are you looking for a restaurant with a taste of the early modernism period? Who isn’t?! Come on down to Modernism Pizza in Palm Springs. We have treasures from the early mod craze as well as my own art pieces that have been described by my closest friends as “interesting” and “really, really good”,
Husband nods as best he can
Owner: But obviously, Modernism Pizza isn’t just about showing my art to the world. It’s about making a difference in the community. That’s why we have pledged countless dollars to local charities, soup kitchens, animal rescue centers, and charity walks.
Husband: Countless dollars.
Owner: But wait we didn’t talk about the best part of Modernism pizza! Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays are our Open Mic Night. Come for free…
Husband: For free?
Owner: …to hear the newest spoken word artists hone their craft in front of receptive audiences like you.
Husband: Aren’t you forgetting something?
Owner: Oh yes. We are completely pet friendly. We even spay and neuter pets here on the premises.
Husband: No, I meant the pizza.
Owner: I don’t do carbs so I’ve never had it.. I thought you tried it?
Husband: I’ve been a little busy with contractors, the permits, the bank, doing all the hiring, the health inspection, not to mention getting the squatters that had made this abandoned building their home out of here. They had lawyers, Diane! They made macaroni and cheese on a hot plate every night, but they somehow had lawyers.
Diane: I told you I can’t be bothered with that or it will cloud my art that I create for our restaurant. That’s my contribution.
Husband: So you haven’t even tried this yet?
He takes a slice of pizza and immediately gets a sour face
Husband: It’s awful.
Diane: It’s from a recipe I got in an old Redbook magazine.
Husband: You expect us to sell this?
Diane: What difference does it make? My sculptures are going to be what brings in the people…
Husband: (starts pacing) Oh my god, I’m gonna lose everything! I can’t believe I let you talk me into this!
Immediately cuts out to graphic
Emery: Ah what a view! This call for a drink.
(The man turns around and we see there is a purple fox tail sewn to the back of his khakis. He pours himself a martini and turns back to the camera.)
Emery: Hello, I am Emery Endicott. Do you have a deep love of sailing or pretending to be a neon green, eight foot tall yak? Well, then do I have an event for you.
(A logo of a purple fox suggestively riding a Boston Whaler boat appears on the screen.)
Next Saturday the Palm Springs Convention Center is proud to host my Yachts of Yiffs Expo. This is the world's only dual boat sale and furry convention. We just had an expo here in Boston and it was a smash hit.
(We see footage of an elderly man attempting to inspect a boat while a parade of furries dance by. Disgusted, the man shakes his head and storms out of frame.)
Emery: I know what you're thinking. Emery, is there a lot of crossover between the two fan bases? The answer is none. The intersection of the venn diagram is empty, but I am a desperate man.
(He downs his Martini in one gulp.)
Emery: I previously ran these events separately and lost my ass on both of them. People just don’t go out as much in this post-covid world. This new combined format is one last hail Mary to make the payments on my Sea Ray.
(We see a Sunreef salesman giving his pitch to a retired couple. A pile of furries cuddle on the boat he is exhibiting.)
Emery: We offer free workshops on sailing and what the best fursuits are for salt water.
(We see Marty and Ollie sitting at a booth in the expo center. They are dressed as Nick Wilde and Judy Hopps from Zootopia.)
Emery: The stars will be out as well. Come meet undefeated CAR racer Olivia Oldham and Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Disney’s Marty Donovan. Receive a free autograph when you cancel your subscription to a rival streaming service.
(Marty watches Kilroy’s video on his phone. He shakes his head and turns to Ollie.)
Marty: Can you believe Kilroy did another one of those stupid, white room promos? They were lazy and played out back in 2006. I'm going to have Wes send a memo to the locker room. No more empty backgrounds. We’re supposed to be selling tickets, not shooting Weezer videos.
(A fan dressed as Flash the sloth approaches with their cell phone held up.)
Fan: I just canceled my HBO Max!
Marty: Was it a full subscription or the free month?
Fan: The free month…
Marty: You can have our autographs, but I’m not writing best wishes.
(A band in wolverine costumes perform “Hey Nineteen” by Steely Dan as a sparse crowd of attendees rest their feet. One child is randomly dancing in front of the stage offbeat.)
Emery: Enjoy some classic yacht rock with a fursona twist thanks to Steely Dan cover band The Annandale Wolverines.
Singer: The Cuervo Gold! Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza! Make tonight a wonderful thing!
(We cut back to Emery. He is putting on a fursuit of some kind of teal wolf/ mermaid creature.)
Emery: Tickets are half off for kids under ten and gray muzzles. Don’t miss out. This event is sure to make a splash!
(Emery does a cannonball into the harbor and then starts thrashing frantically as he discovers the suit is too heavy. The event info displays on the screen before fading back to the MGM Music Hall at Fenway)
Hardkore ring crew supervisor Donnie Valentine Jr finishes up removing the barbed wire with engineer Rocky Valentine Jr. and Hardkore Intern Andy Valentine Jr.
Guillermo O’Bannon: What an amazing match and a return to Hardkore’s roots…
Phillip Blauer: …as garbage wrestling.
Guillermo O’Bannon: We’re just moments away from our West Coast Championship match where Eron Hunter defends against Alexander von Blankenship!
Phillip Blauer: AVB all the way baby! There isn’t enough Prozac in the state that would make me enjoy a Hunter promo!
Guillermo O’Bannon: I’m getting word that Greg’s getting ready to start the ring ann-
Voice: Let’s address the elephant in the room, first!
The voice resonates throughout the MGM Music Hall as the HKW camera crew scan to spot the origin. They finally find their focus in Cross Recoba, standing in one of the Corporate boxes. He appears with a camel brown overcoat draped over his navy blue suit. A Boston Red tie breaks up the fall colors.
Cross Recoba: Or should I say, The Fox in the Arena.
A self-satisfied smile breaks across the face of the Tap Out Wrestling Owner’s face. A mix of jeers and cheers fills the venue.
Cross Recoba: Settle down, settle down. I know that when you have such illustrious names like Tuxedo Mask, Little Dragon and Syberus to keep you entertained you’re thinking ‘Why do we need him?”....here’s the answer. Later tonight you’ll see Marty Donovan and Kilroy Evans fight over your biggest title….
Crowd: DISNEY’S OWN! DISNEY’S OWN! DISNEY’S OWN! DISNEY’S OWN! DISNEY’S OWN! DISNEY’S OWN! DISNEY’S OWN!
Cross shakes his head at the rabid appeal of the hometown boy.
Cross Recoba: …and you know, if you weren’t just bloodthirsty savages you’d realize you should be more than a little sad. Marty might get some endorsement dollars from Disney but he’s kibble to them, nothing more, nothing less. If Disney did a special on him for their own Network, it’d run in place of the trailer that precedes those three-minute Marvel shorts…and even then, they’d think it ran too long…
Crowd: WE LOVE MARTY!! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAPCLAP* WE LOVE MARTY!! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAPCLAP* WE LOVE MARTY!! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAPCLAP*
Cross grabs an Evian bottle and drinks from it.
Cross Recoba: But he’s your Champion…for now and if when he isn’t tonight what do you have instead? A hick shaped like the beer barrel that helped form his body. Sophie probably had an easier choice than you all do for who to root for in the main-event!
Placing the bottle down, Cross can feel himself hitting his stride.
Cross Recoba: Now do you think I’m here out of choice? Of course not! With Infinite Pro Wrestling taking an off-Network deal it leaves me in a potential breach of contract with the Network. Part of my Tap Out deal is that I HAVE to appear in a company on the Network and you won pretty much by default. Wrestle: UK? Infinite Pro have exclusivity on me within the British Isles. Champoon? If I wanted weird I’d just pitch a show to the Network involving Terry Bradshaw. J-Rok? Do you want to try and survive living on three different time-zones…
Cross pauses.
Cross Recoba: Yes, there is more than one time-zone for those of you who think a vacation should never cross state lines….and so HardKore World won out. Do I think that I’ll be challenging the winner of tonight’s main-event anytime soon? Hardly, my contract lies with Mongo and not with HKW. Could I have competed tonight? Without a doubt but ask yourselves this, why would one of the best technical wrestlers on the Network lower himself to compete in a match that included Barbed Wire in the name? Do you think that at any point in this whole sorry charade that you’re going to see me put my career and livelihood at risk in a match where the focus of the match is on how barbaric it can get? Not a chance!
The crowd have now picked their side and it isn’t with the man standing with the microphone in his hand.
Cross Recoba: What I’m about to tell you, I should have charged Mongo a fee for doing this. You see, everytime you see me in a HKW ring…I’m going to show you what actual wrestling looks like. You’ll see how you can take down someone without having to use a trash can or a steel chair. You’ll witness as I lock someone up in Garibaldi’s Guillotine and make them tap for mercy but without needing barbed wire to do it. You might even realize that most wrestlers go over the top when they hit a move to the outside…not when they need a match with more light tubes than fans to get noticed.
The boos amp up further.
Cross Recoba: I’m only here tonight to get a reading on the roster. The next time you see me though? You’ll realize why I’m the XHF Box Office Smash!!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wow! What a blockbuster announcement! Cross Recoba is here in Hardkore World and already has his sights set on the Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Marty Donovan.
Phillip Blauer: I look forward to him classing the place up a bit.
Phil looks at a fan licking the box his nachos came in, to get all the cheese off. He smiles at Phil with cheese dripping from his beard
Phillip Blauer: (waves at the fan) Alot.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cross Recoba says he is here to show the Hardkore fans what wrestling is, and we’ll see in the coming months what he means by that. But coming up is the Hardkore West Coast Championship Match between Eron Hunter…
Phillip Blauer: Who?
Guillermo O’Bannon: The former Lynx, and Alexander Von Blankenship.
Phillip Blauer: Now we’re talking. This match will be more of a coronation of the new King of the West Coast, AVB.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter shed his mask in Phoenix and is focused on holding that legendary title that has been held by many of the greats.
Phillip Blauer: Why’s he defending a West Coast title in Boston. I feel like that’s gonna be held up on a technicality.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship has been getting more reps and says he’s ready to become a champion like his father. This will be his second title opportunity here since he lost in the Hardkore World Heavyweight title tournament final to Syberus at Palm Springs Punishment 2022 back in July.
Phillip Blauer: Like any good rookie, AVB has taken that bitter moment and used it to motivate him for tonight. Like when my part Racist Vice Principal was cut from Breakfast Club. I had a rant against Italians when my character thinks Judd Nelson is one. They switched it up a little and gave it to the cop in Boys in the Hood.
A thick cloud like haze fills the entry way, and brilliant blue lights create an almost angelic like atmosphere. The Boston fans leap to their feet and roar
I've been blessed up (geez)
I've been broke down (oh yeah)
Gotta catch up (yeah)
Gotta shine now (okay)
Running faster (oh yeah)
I can't slow down (oh no)
Gotta catch up (yeah)
Gotta shine now
Alexander Von Blankenship steps from behind the curtain, a cocky smirk on his smug face. He holds his arms out, soaking in the cheers, before mouthing the words "Always Very Blessed" as he points to the smug look on his own face.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship seems to be enjoying this ovation from the Boston faithful here. He, along with “High Roller” Wesley Crane cost Syberus his Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship in Phoenix. Now he hopes to bring the Hardkore West Coast Championship to The Anointed as well.
Ayy, I got the moves
Bearing that fruit and now I got the juice (juice!)
God has been cooking, now I got the soup
Put this together, yo, really
He clever, I cannot do better
AVB looks out at the crowd, his smirk is now a scowl. Slowly walking towards the ring he points to a fan holding the sign “Always Very Blessed”, and another one holding one that says “I Liked Eron Better When I Couldn’t See His Face”. He yells loudly "That’s what I’m talking bout!"
Phillip Blauer: This man was my tag team partner in Prescott, Arizona, Goo Goo. We share a bond that only the Midnight Express, the New Dream Team, and the second version of Demolition can understand. He was there for me when that headscissors takedown nearly killed me.
Ride the wave, yeah
Ain't got no fright today, yeah
I'm gonna rise today, yeah
Don't gotta fight the wave
'Cause I'm peeping the visuals, I bring the visuals
AVB walks up the steps to the ring, stopping before he gets inside, he gives the ring a father son and holy sport blessing before climbing the outside turnbuckle, looking towards the entire crowd he yells out "Always Very Blessed" before jumping down into the ring.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane won the 2022 Hardkore Helloween Cup, and now AVB hopes to make it a clean sweep for The Anointed by winning the Hardkore West Coast Championship from Eron Hunter here tonight.
I've been blessed up (geez)
I've been broke down (oh yeah)
Gotta catch up (yeah)
Gotta shine now (okay)
Running faster (oh yeah)
I can't slow down (oh no)
Gotta catch up (yeah)
Gotta shine now….
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway cheers wildly, and AVB rolls into the ring before coming up with a grin.
Greg Jin: “The following match is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit and is for the HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPIONSHIP! Your referee is Kelly O’Connell. Featuring first, from Amsterdam in the Netherlands; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall. Weighing in at 215 pounds; Brought to you by Arby’s, ‘We Have The Meats!’ He is Always Very Blessed…ALEXANDER VON BLANKENSHIP!!!”
Huge ovation for Alexander Von Blankenship
"Long Walk Home" by Howl Trance plays and the Boston crowd boos as Eron Hunter walks down the aisle with the Hardkore West Coast Championship strapped around his waist
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter making his first title defense in what seems to be hostile territory, the fans here siding with the hometown boy Marty Donovan as well as the members of The Anointed, like Alexander Von Blankenship.
Phillip Blauer: It will be interesting to see how he does without little kiddies wearing his mask and their ear splitting screams whenever someone so much as lays a hand on him.
Eron Hunter hops onto the second turnbuckle with the Hardkore West Coast Championship lifted up high in his hands
Guillermo O’Bannon: Hunter says that AVB’s ego isn’t strong enough to handle anything other than success. He claims that he has had a tough road in his career which has emotionally fortified him, while Von Blankenship has had everything handed to him.
Phillip Blauer: Sounds like jealousy. But again, everything sounds like that to me.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter has worked hard to get the Hardkore West Coast Championship and he refuses to let Alexander Von Blankenship take it away.
Greg Jin: “And his opponent, from Sicily; Standing 6 feet; Weighing 200 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION…ERON HUNTER!!!”
Uncharacteristic boos from the MGM Music Hall which Hunter ignores and AVB seems amused by. Eron folds the straps and hands Kelly O’Connell his Hardkore West Coast Championship
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship attacks him before the bell, hammering Hunter with right hands!
HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPIONSHIP
Eron Hunter shoots AVB off into the ropes and then hits him with a high extension dropkick, but the audience heckles Eron when he tries to fire himself up
Phillip Blauer: Boston is a city well known for crushing spirits.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter lifts Alexander Von Blankenship up into a suplex and then just leaves him up there!
The fans boo as Hunter shows some impressive strength before depositing AVB on the mat. Von Blankenship sits up with his back arched in pain. Hunter pulls him up by the hair
Guillermo O’Bannon: Hunter kicks AVB in the stomach. He goes for another, but Von Blankenship catches his leg and takes him over into a dragon screw.
Alexander Von Blankenship scoops Hunter up and drops him over his knee with a backbreaker, then Hunter flops to the mat; holding the small of his back
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship sets up a suplex, plants his feet, and hits a lightning quick snap suplex on the Hardkore West Coast Champion.
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway starts chanting “AVB! AVB! AVB!” Alexander mockingly bows, then pulls Eron Hunter up by his hair
Phillip Blauer: This city finally giving young master AVB his flowers. Well deserved.
Guillermo O’Bannon: AVB irish whips Hunter into the ropes, but Eron ducks a clothesline and dumps Von Blankenship on the back of his head with a half nelson suplex!
Hunter waits for Von Blankenship to get to his knees and then tags him in the side of the head with a shining wizard. A loud “OH!” goes through MGM Music Hall then replaced by jeers
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter grabs a fujiwara armbar. He plants his feet and pushes back with his legs, cranking on that forearm to put pressure on his shoulder.
AVB shouts out refusals to quit to Kelly O’Connell. He’s able to swing his free arm around and rake Hunter’s eyes with his nails to escape the fujiwara.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship gets to his feet and stomps the blinded Eron Hunter. He scoops him up and drops him into a shoulderbreaker.
Hunter lays on the mat clutching his shoulder, while AVB shakes some feeling into his own. Eron Hunter gets to his feet and Von Blankenship whacks him with a hard chop. Another blistering chop gets a “Woo!” out of the crowd. Another chop, another “Woo!” from Boston
Phillip Blauer: Woo!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter answers with a jumping roundhouse kick to the mouth of AVB!
Von Blankenship covers his mouth and lays on the mat. Hunter pulls AVB into a double underhook position and then tosses him with a butterfly suplex
Guillermo O’Bannon: AVB gets to his feet only to stumble into a flatliner, into a koji clutch by Hunter!!
The fans boo as Eron Hunter uses his leg to peel back Von Blankenship’s head, while locking his arms around his neck & arm. AVB cries out in pain while Kelly O’Connell is in position for the tap out
Phillip Blauer: Hold on, kid!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Phil. Eron Hunter releases the koji clutch and lifts him up into a suplex position. He hooks that leg and flips Von Blankenship into a fisherman’s suplex!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Alexander Von Blankenship kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Hunter shoots AVB into the ropes, dips down for a backdrop, but Von Blankenship catches him looking with a swinging neckbreaker!
The crowd comes to life! Hunter flops on the mat, holding his neck, while AVB sits up with a smug grin on his face
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship lifts Eron Hunter up into a hanging vertical suplex of his own.
Phillip Blauer: Look at the poise, the raw power of AVB! Look how he can just hold him up there effortlessly like that. I’d like to see Eron Hunter attempt one of those.
Guillermo O’Bannon: He just did one like 5 minutes ago.
Phillip Blauer: (chuckles) Pretty sure I’d recall that. I mean just look at that perfect form!
Guillermo O’Bannon: AVB finally drops Hunter’s legs on the top rope so they ricochet into a slingshot suplex!
The Boston fans applaud the maneuver. Alexander Von Blankenship spread’s Hunter’s legs and then teases stomping his balls, but Kelly O’Connell warns him. He rolls his eyes and stomps the side of Hunter’s knee
Phillip Blauer: Good gameplan here to try and rob the former Lynx of his high flying arsenal by going after the legs.
AVB spread eagles Eron Hunter’s legs again and Kelly O’Connell tells him he better keep it above the waist. Von Blankenship nods and then stomps the groin of Eron Hunter! The fans laugh and pop loudly, while O’Connell threatens to disqualify Alexander Von Blankenship
Guillermo O’Bannon: Real nice.
AVB feigns confusion with O’Connell, while Hunter tries to recover on the mat. Von Blankenship promises to never to do it again, and as soon as O’Connell lets him by, AVB mounts Hunter and pounds him with right hands to the cheers of the crowd
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship pulls him up into a double underhook for Purification, but Hunter backdrops his way out of it!
Eron Hunter pulls Alexander Von Blankenship to his feet with a full nelson and then drops back into a dragon suplex
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Alexander Von Blankenship gets his shoulder up!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter goes to the apron and slingshots himself onto the middle of the top rope, springboard dropkick that catches Von Blankenship right on the nose!!
The audience boos, and Eron Hunter grabs a sleeper hold on the mat. He clamps down on AVB’s head and throat, trying to cut off his air. The audience chants “AVB! AVB! AVB!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kelly O’Connell checks in but there’s still some fight left in Von Blankenship.
Phillip Blauer: The young stallion is fighting his way back to his feet, but Hunter has that sleeper on tight.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship drives his elbow into the stomach of Hunter. Another elbow frees him from the sleeper. AVB now slaps Hunter across the face!
The fans let out a collective “OH!” An incensed Hunter looks at him and hits him with hard european uppercuts, backing him into the ropes
Guillermo O’Bannon: Hunter with a high cross body, but AVB catches him and tosses him across the ring with a fallaway slam!
The Boston crowd cheers loudly, and AVB kips up to his feet to impress them. Hunter gets back up but Von Blankenship grabs his leg
Guillermo O’Bannon: AVB tries a dragon screw but Hunter reverses it into an enzuigiri!
The cheers turn to jeers and Eron Hunter flips AVB into a northern lights suplex with a perfect bridge
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Alexander Von Blankenship gets his shoulder up
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter grabs his leg and turns him over into a single leg boston crab. He gets a good base with those feet, and leans back with his leg, trying to hyperextend the knee.
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway chant “Let’s Go Alex! *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Let’s Go Alex! *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Let’s Go Alex! *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap*” while Alexander Von Blankenship tries to hold on. He refuses when Kelly O’Connell asks him if he wants to tap out
Guillermo O’Bannon: Hunter releases the single leg crab and pulls him up into a double underhook, flipping him into a tiger driver ‘91!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Alexander Von Blankenship claps his legs together on Hunter’s head
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter irish whips AVB into the ropes and takes him out with a cartwheel kick!
The fans boo. Eron Hunter grabs him with a front waistlock for a belly to belly but AVB pokes him in the eyes
Phillip Blauer: What a gallant scientific maneuver!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship butterflies his arms and swings Hunter over into an angel’s wings!! Purification!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Eron Hunter kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: AVB stomps the back of Hunter’s head. He scoops Hunter up, but Eron floats over behind him in an inverted facelock and drops Von Blankenship with a reverse DDT!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Alexander Von Blankenship gets his shoulder up!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Since 1994, the Hardkore West Coast Championship has had a reputation as the worker’s title and it is living up to that tonight. Eron Hunter gets underneath a rising Von Blankenship and spins him into a saito suplex!
Both men lie on the mat exhausted as Boston tries to will Alexander Von Blankenship to his feet. Kelly O’Connell begins the double count
One!
Two!
Three!
Phillip Blauer: Every fan in this building is hoping, praying this young man can get up.
Four!
Eron Hunter sits up while Alexander Von Blankenship stirs a little
Five!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Both these men trying to be Hardkore West Coast Champion and the effects of this match are patently obvious.
Six!
Seven!
Eron Hunter pulls himself up by the ropes while AVB rolls to his side
Eight!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter gets to his feet and breaks the count. He charges a rising AVB and drills his head into the mat with a running DDT!
Eron Hunter hops to the second turnbuckle and in one swift motion backflips into a moonsault
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Alexander Von Blankenship kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter grabs AVB in a front facelock and steps to the second turnbuckle. He jumps off with a tornado DDT but Alexander Von Blankenship catches him with a spinebuster!!
The MGM Arena roars and the impact bounces AVB up and then back down as he makes the cover
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THR- Eron Hunter kicks out!
The crowd groans in frustration and an exhausted Alexander Von Blankenship argues with Kelly O’Connell that it was a slow count
Phillip Blauer: What is with this lady?
Guillermo O’Bannon: That was a fair count, Phil.
Phillip Blauer: I was referring to her telling me she has a girlfriend even though that just means more ladies for The Blau Dog, but yeah she could count faster too.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship measuring Hunter, motioning for him to get up…
Phillip Blauer: (starts barking obnoxiously)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Please don’t bark into your microphone, Phil. It makes our levels peak and the audio tech Kenny Valentine Jr’s last job was at Panera Bread. Ordained superkick by AVB upside Hunter’s head!!
The Boston fans pop! Alexander Von Blankenship pulls him up into a suplex, but Hunter floats over onto his feet behind him and grabs AVB in a standing katahajime
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tiger suplex ‘85 by Eron Hunter!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Alexander Von Blankenship gets his shoulder up!
The fans chant “Let’s Go Alex! *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Let’s Go Alex! *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Let’s Go Alex! *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap*” Eron Hunter shakes his head in disbelief. Both at the crowd and that the tiger suplex ‘85 didn’t finish him
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter applies a dragon sleeper. He crouches down, pulling back on AVB’s head and neck.
Hunter wraps his legs together around Von Blankenship’s waist and falls back into an on the mat version. Kelly O’Connell checks in but Eron wrenches back on the choke before AVB can answer
Greg Jin: “Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Hardkore West Coast Champion has spent the last 20 minutes wearing down Alexander Von Blankenship’s neck with the koji clutch, the sleeper and several suplexes and DDTs. Now he’s trying to cash in.
Kelly O’Connell tests AVB’s arm, but he keeps it up. The Boston crowd starts clapping faster and faster to try and will AVB out of the dragon sleeper
Phillip Blauer: This is like the double turn at Rock-Hogan, if Hogan was Nick Hogan! It’s inspiring, Giancarlo!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter releases the dragon sleeper and shoots AVB into the ropes. Von Blankenship ducks a discus lariat, and counters with a Baptism superman punch!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THR- Eron Hunter kicks out!
Alexander Von Blankenship sits up with a look of anguish and frustration on his face. Kelly O’Connell shows that it was two, and AVB slaps her hand away from him
Guillermo O’Bannon: What a fan favorite.
Phillip Blauer: Aaron Hernandez never had to pay for a beer out here.
Guillermo O’Bannon: AVB gets back to his feet and pulls Hunter’s head into his legs. He rolls Eron up onto his shoulder and then down on his head with a barry white driver!! Desecration!
AVB stands over Eron Hunter lying face down on the mat and spits on him! The audience loves it and Von Blankenship looks to the sky
Alexander Von Blankenship: “Always Very Blessed!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Very sportsmanlike.
Phillip Blauer: (holds his neck brace) We athletes spit sometimes, Gabriel. You wouldn’t know anything about that.
Guillermo O’Bannon: I go to the gym 5 days a week, Phil.
Phillip Blauer: To sit in your car and drink.
Guillermo O’Bannon: I go in sometimes. Alexander Von Blankenship lifting Hunter up on his shoulders, but Eron rolls back behind him, hooks his leg and drops him back into a release regal plex! White Tiger Suplex!
Eron Hunter pulls Von Blankenship into his legs and flips him up onto his shoulder and then runs into the center of the ring with a liger bomb
Guillermo O’Bannon: He now calls that the White Tiger Bomb!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THR- Alexander Von Blankenship claps his legs together on Hunter’s head!
Phillip Blauer: He’s up!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship rolls up to his feet, but Eron Hunter takes him out with a running discus clothesline! White Tiger Lariat!!
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway rocks with boos as Alexander Von Blankenship is sprawled on the mat and Eron Hunter tries to catch his breath
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter goes to the apron, and slingshots himself into the middle of the top rope, and jumps off with a springboard knee but Alexander Von Blankenship goes to intercept him with an Ordained superkick but Hunter lands on his feet and catches his leg! He counters with a cradle capture suplex!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THREE!
The audience reacts with boos as "Long Walk Home" by Howl Trance plays and Eron Hunter raises one arm
Greg Jin: “At 24 minutes 49 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND STILL HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION…ERON HUNTER!!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: This was a war and Eron Hunter never surrendered, never gave up, just like he said, and now he is walking out still the Hardkore West Coast Champion.
Phillip Blauer: This is a travesty!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Why?
Phillip Blauer: It just is.
Kelly O’Connell hands Eron Hunter his Hardkore West Coast Championship belt and he raises it high above his head for the jeering Boston crowd. An exhausted AVB is on his knees, arguing about a fast count with O’Connell
Guillermo O’Bannon: Mask or no mask, Eron Hunter is a champion the people can be proud of, unlike Marty Donovan.
Phillip Blauer: Well I’m not proud of him.
Guillermo O’Bannon: No one cares, Phil.
Eron Hunter walks down the aisle with the Hardkore West Coast Championship slung over his shoulder
Guillermo O’Bannon: Coming up fans is our main event of the evening! Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Disney’s Marty Donovan making his first title defense against former friend Kilroy Evans! Don’t go away!
***commercial***
Open on Pepper Jack standing behind the counter of his fast food restaurant
Pepper Jack: Hi! Are you tired of fast food restaurants that say they have spicy, but always fall a little short? Come on down to Pepper Jack’s and try our Spicy Chicken Sandwich! I know what your saying, “Jack, I’ve had alot of chicken sandwiches that say they’re spicy.” But we marinate our chicken for two weeks in a diablo hot sauce that we have to smuggle in from Thailand. I’ve lost 5 men, 5 good men, getting those shipments. Then we put a slice of Ghost Scorpion cheese on it, as well as Xtreme Regret sauce. Then we put a little more sauce on it, just in case you thought we were playin. Then, we make the bun hot! We enfuse our buns with Carolina Reapers, so there’s no escape. Then we top it off with some shards of glass, and a gun to put yourself out of your misery halfway through!
'Hardkore World. What do you know of hardcore? What do you know about extreme violence? But yet you all walk around here in your arrogance, in your pride speaking of things you don't even understand. But now it is time for a rude awakening, now it is time for reality to come back to this fucking delusion you all have made for yourselves!'
Gavin Drake stepped from the darkness, and he flung away a cigarette as his dark eyes narrowed. He lifted a hand, fingers flexing into a fist as he glowered at the camera. The slender form of Emily Black stepped from the shadows, her pretty face solemn under her hood as a hand was placed on Drake's shoulder. She said nothing though, and Drake snarled.
'You see the Empty Hand has come, and I will wake HKW to the cold hard truth of reality. Doom has come, darkness has fallen, and the Abyss demands it's due. And so lads, Donzig-gun is here! I am here! The Son of the Conqueror, the strong left hand of the Scourge! And I don't give two bloody shits if you are some beloved hillbilly, recite poetry, or wear a tuxedo! Are you taking the piss? Is that what it is?'
Drake scowled, shaking his head before he waved his hand before a finger jabbed at the camera. Black drew back a step, frowning slightly.
'I don't give a piss if you're from the Empty Quarter, I don't give a piss if some suit clad jackass does all your talking for you! And I don't even give two fucks, two fucks at all if you are a so called living legend! I am going to batter you into the ground! I am not here to play games with these people, we are here for our pound of flesh! Understand that! Understand that the Empty Hand takes!'
Drake's hand fell, and he looked away with a sneer.
'But most of all? I don't give a piss about how much you love Disney, I don't give a bloody piss if you are going to be in Guardians of the Galaxy part bloody sixteen! I don't care if you are on uncle Walt's payroll! I am Gavin Drake, the Blood of Kings, yeah? This place is ours, now!'
The slender form of Emily Black moved forward, and she lifted a hand to shove back her hood. Her black hair fell around her face, and her eyes narrowed before she shrugged.
'All dreams must end, the nightmare has come, and now Hardkore World must bow down before Donzig-gun. They must do homage to the Conqueror, and his sons.'
Something rustled in the darkness, and the leather clad figure of Donzig stepped forward with a wave of his hand. His fingers lifted to brush across his steel mask, and he flung back his hood to glare. His breath came out in a hiss, and he lifted a hand to drag across his mouth before he growled.
'I told you to be careful what you wished for Marty even on a fucking star.'
Guillermo O’Bannon: And now Gavin Drake is coming to Hardkore World? This is unbelievable.
Phillip Blauer: Why are all these Johnny Come Latelys showing up to pick on poor Marty? Don’t they have beautiful technically superior wrestlers with razor wit in their own territories?
Guillermo O’Bannon: He’s like a beacon of hate. Speaking of which, coming up is our main event fans! This has been an amazing show so far, but the energy in this building is about to explode.
Phillip Blauer: The fire marshall asked to cut off beer sales after the Helloween match, but I took Dorothy’s card…
Guillermo O’Bannon: Is that a Woolworth’s card?
Phillip Blauer: Don’t interrupt. And put everyone’s beers on me! Yay! Cheer for me! (turns around to the audience) Come on, Blau Dog! Blau Dog! Blau Dog!
Guillermo O’Bannon: These men were once best friends. Kilroy still thinks they are.
Phillip Blauer: Well, that’s stupid. I’m his best friend. I got him into Dorothy’s first husband’s country club and he gave the password to his Disney+ Platinum Special Reserve. You can watch all the old racist stuff on there, even pet projects Walt had when he went slowly and then rapidly insane towards the end there. There’s a Goofy How To short on turning in your neighbors you suspect are communist sympathizers, a hilarious anti-labor short where Donald Duck has to put down a strike at his American flag factory, and a romantic mini-movie targeted towards the 70s disco crowd where Pete gives Mickey some quaaludes he calls ‘Love Pills’ to give to Minnie. You wanna know the title, don’t you?
Guillermo O’Bannon: I do not. However, Kilroy has to put that aside and think of Marty as…
Phillip Blauer: “Slipping Her The Ol’ Mickey”! However, Daisy finds them in Minnie’s purse and thinks they’re aspirin, and next thing you know…
Guillermo O’Bannon: Dammit, Phil, I haven’t seen it yet!
Phillip Blauer: Sorry.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan is returning home as a conquering hero. Lately, he hasn’t had much support from the fans, due to being a narcissist…aren’t you going to say anything?
Phillip Blauer: (checking himself in his hand mirror) Hmm? (wasn’t listening) Uh, sounds like a good match. Both competitors could win this one.
Guillermo O’Bannon: But here he will have the MGM Music Hall faithful celebrating in having the first Boston born Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion.
"Rock Club" by Family Jules plays and the MGM Music Hall rocks with boos. Kilroy walks to the ring at a calm pace, wearing jeans and a white Universal Islands of Adventure t-shirt and the Hardkore World Tag Team Championship strapped around his waist
Phillip Blauer: What in God’s name is that shirt?
Guillermo O’Bannon: It’s a competing theme park Universal has.
Phillip Blauer: In America??
Kilroy smiles as fans try to press their upraised middle finger against his face as he walks by them. He points to signs that says “Marty’s Match Is Going To Be Shorter Than A Kilroy Shower”, “Society of the Inbred”, “Kilroy Sucks!”, and “Kilroy Is A Southern Fried Moron”; laughing and giving them the thumbs up
Phillip Blauer: He’s taking all the fun out of this.
Guillermo O’Bannon: It’s pretty hard to get Kilroy down. Instead, he’s seeing this as an honor to be Marty Donovan’s first title defense. He says he’s even proud of him and knew he could do it.
Phillip Blauer: If he isn’t doing all this so he can set Marty up to bash his brains in with a chair, I’m going to vomit. And Marty is a close personal friend of mine. We share a maid.
Kilroy enters the ring and is all smiles, waving as the fans chant “Kilroy Sucks! Kilroy Sucks! Kilroy Sucks!” Kilroy hands the Hardkore World Tag Team Championship to Tommy Milligan and then looks to the entrance way. Evans starts to pace back and forth purposefully
“Sally Maclennane” by The Pogues plays and the fans leap to their feet! Disney’s Marty Donovan walks out in a Boston Red Sox uniform with number 34 on it for Big Papi and the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship is nearly blown back by the ear-splitting pop.
Guillermo O’Bannon: What an ovation for Jeffries Point Marty Donovan! You can barely hear yourself think in here!
Phillip Blauer: I don’t have that problem.
The fans hold up signs that say “Boston Is Marty Country”, “Representing Jeffries Point!!” and “Marty Give Back Walt’s Frozen Corpse!” Marty Donovan stands on the ramp and looks out at the roaring crowd. He nods and takes in the gravity of the moment. He pats the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship and then begins walking to the ring
Phillip Blauer: The locker room leader, the Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion turned a page on the dark reign of Kilroy Evans by banning him from the locker room. No longer is he going to bore the Dutch enhancement guys with stories about sometime he did a razor wire something or other against a Shiro relative.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy walked in just fine this evening.
Phillip Blauer: They weren’t supposed to let him in! What is the point of wrestler court if the guy can just waltz right back in to the locker room? Who’s the locker room county clerk?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tux.
Phillip Blauer: Christ almighty.
A fan puts his arm around Marty and hands him a beer. Marty holds the beer up and the rowdy crowd urges him to drink it. He nods and takes a long drag off the beer as the fans chant “Chug! Chug! Chug!” He bangs his head to “Sally Maclennane” with the beer in his mouth for a while, and then sprays it in the fan’s face! The fan screams at the camera, grateful for the christening
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty says that Kilroy was his friend, but whenever it was time to hunt for glory with the Hardkore World Tag Team Titles or the Frank Marano Jr. Memorial Cup, he would always turn to Andrew Karnage.
Phillip Blauer: All those years, Marty Donovan was right under his nose. Can you imagine how ridiculous he feels now?
A fan stops Marty and goes down on one knee, proposing to his pregnant girlfriend. The audience gasps
hillip Blauer: It looks like this incurable romantic picked the holiest of holy moments in Boston to propose to his sweetheart. A Marty Donovan entrance. I think that’s just dandy.
Marty, impatiently standing in the background awaits her answer. She looks around, unsure. The fan on his knee gulps, as the audience chants “YES! YES! YES!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Uh oh.
The prospective bride looks at Donovan. He gives her a “Why not?” shrug. She bites her lip and contemplates it a little more. Finally, the expecting mother nods in agreement and the fans erupt with glee
Phillip Blauer: I think those two are gonna make it. They’ll always have their fandom of Marty to talk about.
Marty Donovan shakes the newly engaged male fan’s hand as the audience behind them celebrates. He shakes the woman’s hand for a few pumps, and then kisses her right on the mouth, dipping her
Phillip Blauer: Oh…oh my.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wow.
Marty twirls the pregnant fiance’ back to her boyfriend’s arms, then walks to the ring. The man seems untroubled by the whole thing and roots Donovan on
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty says when he saw Kilroy running down to the ring in Phoenix, he thought he was there to save him. Conveniently leaving out that he beat Kilroy down after a match in LA this last August.
Phillip Blauer: He’s still not over that? Do you think Curly got all bent out of shape when Moe caved in his orbital bone with a frying pan for making a wise crack? No. The process is pain.
Marty Donovan gets to the ring and throws his arms up, getting a deafening pip from the Boston faithful. He stands on the second rope and bathes in the ovation
Guillermo O’Bannon: It’s taken 20 years but finally Marty Donovan has a match in Boston. And it’s for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship.
Phillip Blauer: And he gets to put down The Attbury Assassin. What could be better?
The bell rings and a spotlight hits Greg Jin in the center of the ring. Tommy Milligan stands behind him
Greg Jin: “Ladies and Gentleman, this is the Main Event of the Evening!”
The Boston crowd cheers
Greg Jin: “The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Tommy Milligan. Featuring first; Hailing from Attbury, South Carolina; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 245 pounds, Your Boy Kilroy…”
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway drowns Greg out with boos and heckling. Greg waits them out
Greg Jin: “One Half of the HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS…KILROY EVANS!!!”
The boos get louder as Kilroy raises his arm
Greg Jin: “And his opponent, hailing from the Magic Kingdom, in Orlando, Florida. Standing 6 feet and weighing 218 pounds; Representing Disney Plus who asks you to watch The Santa Clauses, premiering on November 16th, He is The Boy From Jeffries Point!”
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway drowns out Greg with a huge pop
Greg Jin: The HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…DISNEY’S MARTY DONOVAN!!”
The audience lets out a thunderous cheer while Marty holds the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship up in the air. Donovan removes the Boston Red Sox uniform to reveal a large bandage on his shoulder
HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
Tommy Milligam signals for the bell. Kilroy Evans and Marty Donovan circle one another, looking for an opening
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy and Marty lock up in a collar and elbow tie up. They tussle, jockeying for position.
Kilroy backs Marty into a corner. Marty calls for a clean break, and Tommy Milligan gets in between them
Guillermo O’Bann6on: Kilroy giving Marty a clean break.
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway jeers Kilroy. Marty shakes it off and walks forward, right into a snap mare by Evans
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan rolls to his feet and comes back at Kilroy who catches him with a drop toehold.
Marty covers his nose, and Kilroy picks him up around the waist, then tosses him across the ring with a gut wrench suplex. The audience boos while Kilroy pulls Donovan up into a side headlock
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans transitions into a front facelock on Marty. He locks his hands together and pulls back on Marty’s head and neck. But Marty grabs Kilroy by the legs and lifts him up, dropping him onto his knee with an inverted atomic drop.
The crowd comes to life, as Evans clutches his groin, and Marty Donovan catches him with a frankenstiener!! Marty pumps his fist to get the fans to react
Phillip Blauer: Here we go!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan irish whips him into the ropes and hits him with a high cross body, but Kilroy catches him!
The Boston audience boos as Kilroy walks him around the ring. He finally drops him into a shoulder breaker to that bandaged shoulder
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans going after that shoulder that was stabbed by 2022 End of Days Tournament Winner Zoran Sainovic in Japan. Sainovic went on to win the X Crown from Steve Awesome in Houston. He pulls him up into a side headlock again, and then runs into a bulldog!
The fans boo. Kilroy Evans scoops Donovan up but Marty slips behind him into an inverted facelock
Guillermo O’Bannon: Disney’s Marty Donovan lifts him up into a reverse suplex, then drops his back across his knee with a backbreaker!
Kilroy sits up with his back arched in pain, but barely has a moment to suffer before Marty basement dropkicks him in the face to a big “OH!!” from the crowd. Kilroy covers his face and stomps his heels into the mat in pain
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan pulls him up into a full nelson, plants his feet and drops Kilroy into a bridging dragon suplex!
…ONE!
…Kilroy gets his shoulder up!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty motions for Kilroy to get to his feet, charges, and Kilroy catches him with a belly to belly suplex that tosses him across the ring!
The fans boo as Marty sits up from the impact. Kilroy pulls him up, ties up their legs and pitches forward into an inverted russian leg sweep
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans steps over a sitting Marty’s neck and applies a stump puller. Kilroy pulling up on Donovan’s ankle, putting pressure on the back of his neck
Phillip Blauer: You know who else used a stump puller? Big Bully Busick.
Guillermo O’Bannon: What’s your point?
Phillip Blauer: Only Bullies Use Stump Pullers, kids.
A star graphic comes flying in over Phil’s smiling face
Guillermo O’Bannon: Where’d you get that?
Phillip Blauer: It’s a little thing Danny Valentine Jr. worked on for me.
Guillermo O’Bannon: How much did that cost?
Phillip Blauer: Not much. Unrelated, but catering is a party size bag of Cool Ranch Doritos this evening.
Tommy Milligan checks in but Marty shakes his head. The Boston crowd chants “MARTY!! MARTY!! MARTY!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy pulls him up into a front facelock, but Marty backdrops him over his shoulder. He hits the ropes and catches Evans with a rolling wheel kick!
The MGM Music Hall comes to life! He goes to kick Kilroy, but Evans catches it. Marty swings around with an enzuigiri
Guillermo O’Bannon: Disney’s Marty Donovan goes to the apron, then springboards off the top rope with a front missile dropkick!
Marty Donovan kips up and the crowd applauds. He pulls Kilroy up into a back suplex and rests Evans’ heels on the top rope, then turns around and hits a neckbreaker. Kilroy holds the back of his neck, kicking his toes into the mat in pain
Guillermo O’Bannon: Donovan irish whips Kilroy into the ropes, dips down for a backdrop, but Kilroy catches him looking with a swinging neckbreaker!
The audience boos and Kilroy Evans lifts Marty Donovan up high into a suplex but then drops him on his head with a brainbuster! Donovan rolls onto his stomach and Kilroy Evans sits on his back and applies a camel clutch
Guillermo O’Bannon: Make You Humble!
Phillip Blauer: Not happening, buddy. Not with 4 Desert News Hawk Awards and this honorary doctorate I got from my alma mater Arizona State. (holds it up) This little baby means I can do surgery.
Guillermo O’Bannon: No it doesn’t and please stop telling people that in the locker room.
Phillip Blauer: I’m dirt cheap. I worked on Andrew Karnage and Anjanette Turner most recently. Their rehab…hasn’t been going well.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy locks his hands together under Marty’s chin and peels back his head, putting pressure on his neck.
Kilroy sits on the small of Marty’s back, bending him in half. Tommy Milligan checks in with Donovan, but he shakes his head, refusing to give up. The Boston fans chant “MARTY!! MARTY!! MARTY!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans cranks Marty’s head back and starts biting him!
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway rocks with boos while Tommy Milligan tries to pull Kilroy off of Marty
Phillip Blauer: Disgusting. Obviously, someone didn’t partake in his share of the Cool Ranch Doritos backstage.
Guillermo O’Bannon: No, he did. Milligan finally successful in separating them. Kilroy charges in with a clothesline, but Marty pulls down the top rope and Evans spills out to the floor!
Marty Donovan slingshots himself over the top rope and lands on Kilroy’s shoulders then backflips into a reverse hurricanrana on the floor that pops the crowd. Marty slaps the hands of some of the people reaching over the guardrail towards him
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty now back in the ring and runs into the ropes. He flips over the top rope and strikes Kilroy with a somersault senton!!
Kilroy’s back hit’s the railing, and Marty sails over into the crowd. The chants of “MARTY!! MARTY!! MARTY!!” are now deafening
Guillermo O’Bannon: Disney’s Marty Donovan now pulls Kilroy up and tries to drag him over the guardrail with him out into the first row, but Kilroy headbutts him over and over!
Marty staggers back as the fans give him room. He turns around to escape Kilroy, but Kilroy steps up onto the railing and jumps off with a reverse thez press to his back, driving him facefirst into the concrete
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Piggyback out in the audience! Kilroy pulls Marty’s head into his legs for a piledriver but gets superkicked out of nowhere!!
The camera pulls out to reveal Alexander Von Blankenship in the crowd, standing over a prone Kilroy. The audience explodes with a huge pop, and AVB helps Marty to his feet
Phillip Blauer: We watch each other’s back in The Anointed!
Guillermo O’Bannon: More like you interfere in each other’s matches when the going gets tough.
Phillip Blauer: And what did I say?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Disney’s Marty Donovan now on the apron. He hops onto the middle of the second rope and backflips into an asai moonsault DDT onto Kilroy Evans in the second row!! River City Ransom!
The MGM Music Hall comes unglued as they surround Kilroy and Marty lying amongst the chairs and beer cups. AVB once again helps Marty to his feet, and he pumps his fist into the air
Marty Donovan: “I love DISNEY PLUS!!!”
The fans pat him on the shoulders and back while Marty pulls Kilroy up and tosses him over the railing back into the ringside area. Meanwhile, Alexander Von Blankenship is waiting for them while he sets up a table
Phillip Blauer: (rubbing his hands together) Oh here we go.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Come on, this is two on one. Donovan proving he will go to any length to keep that Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship.
Phillip Blauer: Exactly, it’s the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship and around here the guy with the toughest friends runs the territory.
AVB now loading Kilroy Evans onto that table at ringside while Marty Donovan climbs to the top turnbuckle. The audience gets louder and louder in anticipation
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask runs up the turnbuckles and takes Marty Donovan over into the ring with his double underhook sunset flip tigerbomb!! Moonlight Waltz!
Phillip Blauer: What’s he doing here?? He’s sullying the sanctity of a Hardkore World Championship match!!
The angry Boston crowd hurls insults and jeers at a bandaged Tuxedo Mask as Alexander Von Blankenship looks on in shock at the decimated Marty Donovan. Kilroy Evans sits up on the table
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans hits AVB with a roundhouse kick! He butterflies Von Blankenship’s arms and drops down into a double underhook face breaker on his knee!
Kilroy Evans rolls Alexander Von Blankenship on the table while Tuxedo Mask climbs to the top turnbuckle
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask flips off the top turnbuckle into a corkscrew moonsault on AVB through the table on the floor!!
The MGM Music hall rocks with boos as Tux lies on top of AVB in the debris of a former table. Kilroy Evans crawls back into the ring and makes the cover on Marty Donovan
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THR- Marty Donovan puts his foot on the bottom rope
Phillip Blauer: Good golly Miss Molly!
The audience pops as Kilroy looks confused for a moment and then sees Marty’s foot on the rope
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans now biting Marty again!
The crowd boos as Marty kicks his legs out in a vain attempt to escape, then finally pushes him away. Donovan staggers to his feet, but Kilroy puts his head under Marty’s chin and drops down into a jawbreaker, then catches his legs and turns him over into a texas cloverleaf
Guillermo O’Bannon: Jawsome! Wait, now Tuxedo Mask has the mic!
Tuxedo Mask: (singing) “Let's get down to business
To defeat the Huns
Did they send me daughters
When I asked for sons?”
Phillip Blauer: What’s he doing to that Mulan song? He’s further torturing Marty while he’s in that Jawsome by mangling a beloved Disney classic! This should be an automatic DQ!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Meanwhile inside the ring, Kilroy Evans sits nearly on the back of Marty’s head, bending him into a U shape.
Tuxedo Mask: (singing) “You're the saddest bunch I ever met
But you can bet before we're through
Mister, I'll make a man out of you!”
The MGM Music Hall drowns Tux out with boos as he leaves
Phillip Blauer: Thank Jehoshaphat that’s over.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans positions himself into a standing version, locks his hands together over Marty’s thigh, cranking back on his twisted legs.
The audience chants “MARTY! MARTY! MARTY!” Meanwhile, Hardkore ringside physician David Valentine Jr. and his team help Alexander Von Blankenship back to the locker room
Phillip Blauer: And they better not let Dr. Dave work on AVB! That young stallion is the future of this business. We don’t need shoddy medical work from a quack taking advantage of the boys in the back.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan pushes off with his hands and crawls over to the side of the ring until he hooks the bottom rope.
The Boston fans pop and Tommy Milligan demands Kilroy Evans break the Jawsome, and Kilroy begrudgingly listens
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans pulls him up into a full nelson and then trips him into a skull crushing finale!
The crowd vehemently boos the Miz finish. Kilroy pulls him up by the hair and irish whips him into the ropes but Marty Donovan comes back with a flying forearm that brings the crowd back to life. Both men lie on the mat next to one another, exhausted
Phillip Blauer: Marty flies through the air with the grace of a gazelle…that flies.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Both men struggling to get to their feet. Marty Donovan grabs him from behind with a rear waistlock and german suplexes him
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Kilroy Evans rolls his shoulder up!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Disney’s Marty Donovan wraps his legs around Kilroy’s leg and drops down into a leg scissors cross knee lock. He clamps down on Kilroy’s knee with his legs while pulling up on his calf with his arms.
Kilroy cries out in pain, reaching out for the ropes. Tommy Milligan is in position, looking for the tap out. The Boston crowd heckles Kilroy, urging him to submit.
Marty Donovan: Come on! Give up so you can stream Disenchanted, the sequel to 2007’s Enchanted on Disney Plus premiering on November 18th.
Phillip Blauer: Ooh. He drives a hard bargain.
Kilroy Evans: N-N--Never!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Donovan twisting Kilroy’s knee, trying to inflict maximum damage. Kilroy crawls over and hooks the bottom rope.
Tommy Milligan calls for the break. Donovan refuses and tries to maintain the leg scissors cross knee lock, so Milligan begins to count
Phillip Blauer: Oh, that rule he enforces.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan finally releases the leg scissors cross knee lock, but only at the last minute.
Marty Donovan asks Tommy what his problem is while Kilroy clutches his knee. After losing the argument when Milligan points to his referee shirt, Marty backs off into the corner. He steps up to the second turnbuckle
Phillip Blauer: I know what’s coming!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Disney’s Marty Donovan hops off with the panama sunrise he calls The Costa Pacifica Sunrise!!
Phillip Blauer: I thought that was going to be a fistdrop, but that’s even better.
Greg Jin: “Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan back on the top turnbuckle and flips into a 450 splash!! Ode to Romero!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Kilroy Evans kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Donovan irish whips Kilroy into the ropes, catches him with a side headlock takedown into a pluma blanca!
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway roars as Marty Donovan locks his legs together around Kilroy’s head and peels back on his trapped arms. Kilroy stomps his heels into the mat in pain
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan rowing back on Evans’ twisted arm and elbow, while keeping his head and neck separated from the rest of his body.
Marty Donovan finally gives up and lifts a spent Kilroy Evans up in an inverted facelock. He lifts Kilroy up into a reverse suplex into a backbreaker
Guillermo O’Bannon: Better Than Cobryn!!
Kilroy flops around the mat like a fish as the fans chant “MARTY!! MARTY!! MARTY!!”. Kilroy backs into a corner, holding his back
Guillermo O’Bannon: Disney’s Marty Donovan charges in with a corner dropkick!
The Boston audience lets out a big “OH!!” Marty follows up with a leg sweep that sinks Kilroy into a sitting position. Marty steps through the ropes out onto the apron
Guillermo O’Bannon: Donovan slingshots himself over the ropes into a corner basement dropkick!!
Phillip Blauer: Sweet Sassy Molassy!
Kilroy rolls around the mat, clutching his face while Marty motions for everyone to get to their feet. He steps out of the ring and waits for Evans to get to his feet
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan slingshots himself onto the middle of the top rope and springboards off into a tornado DDT but Kilroy turns it into a spinebuster!!
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway rocks with boos. The impact pops Kilroy up and then he makes a cover
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Marty Donovan kicks out!
Phillip Blauer: This guy has so much heat with me, the air between us is wavy.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans pulls Marty’s head into his legs and lifts him up into a pulling piledriver, drilling his head into the mat!!
Marty slowly raises to his feet, and the audience is oddly cheering. Kilroy Evans moves in for the kill
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy with The Bad Touch diamond cutter, but Marty pushes him off into a v-trigger by “High Roller” Wesley Crane!!
Phillip Blauer: Jackpot!
The audience rocks with cheers as both Marty Donovan and Kilroy Evans lay prone on the mat with a heavily bandaged Wesley Crane standing over them, soaking in the adulation of the Boston fans
Greg Jin: “Twenty Five Minutes Have Elapsed. 5 Minutes Remaining.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Anointed won’t stop interfering in this match, they will do anything to make sure their leader Marty Donovan keeps his Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship!
Phillip Blauer: Even I, on commentary, have done a lights out performance of not letting Kilroy get over.
Wesley Crane drags a limp Marty over to the laid out Kilroy Evans, but suddenly a bandaged Syberus slides into the ring with rage in his eyes
Phillip Blauer: What’s he doing here?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wesley Crane cost Syberus the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship in Phoenix, eliminated him from his first Helloween with alot of interference, and he is not letting that happen with Kilroy tonight.
Wesley Crane backs off, trying to calm Syberus down as the fans boo the former Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion
Phillip Blauer: Run, Wes! Run!
“High Roller” Wesley Crane dives through the second rope with Syberus hot on his heels. Crane jumps over the railing to escape through the crowd
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan struggles to get to his hands and knees, crawling over to Kilroy Evans…
Suddenly “More Human Than Human” by White Zombie plays and the fans react with confusion
Phillip Blauer: What is that racket? Is Kenny Valentine Jr. on audio playing his playlist on the PA again? We have a match going on, son…
“The Punisher” Dan Stein walks down the aisle and the crowd gasps with shock and boos
Phillip Blauer: What?? It’s…no!
Guillermo O’Bannon: It’s former Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion “The Punisher” Dan Stein!! He’s back!
Marty finally sees Dan Stein walking down to the ring, and blinks in disbelief. Dan stands on the apron and glares at Donovan
Guillermo O’Bannon: Dan Stein has been in The Society of the New Breed since he, Cobryn, and Lucifer Jones re-formed it in 2005, he never forgave Marty for losing his title match against Syberus he got from beating Stein in their Helloween match in 2006, and he looks to be tired of The Anointed and their interference!
Marty drops to his knees and begs for mercy as the hulking Dan Stein seethes with anger over him
Guillermo O’Bannon: “The Punisher” Dan Stein military presses a terrified Marty Donovan over his head!
Greg Jin: “Twenty Nine Minutes Have Elapsed. 1 Minute Remaining.”
Phillip Blauer: Unhand him!
Marty begs to be put down as the fans boo
Guillermo O’Bannon: Dan Stein throws him up in the air and lets him fall face first on…Kilroy?!?
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THREE!
The bell rings and the crowd leaps in celebration as “Sally Maclennane” by The Pogues plays. Marty Donovan looks up in disbelief
Greg Jin: “At 29 minutes 11 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND STILL HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…DISNEY’S MARTY DONOVAN!!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: What? Why did he do that?
Marty Donovan gets up cautiously and looks at Dan Stein who is still giving him that intense stare. Dan’s arms slowly raise at his sides, and Marty goes in for a big hug and the Boston crowd reacts like The Megapowers just shook hands
Guillermo O’Bannon: What??
Phillip Blauer: You failed to mention that Marty and Dan were two time SWAT World Tag Team Champions as the Sun & Pun Connection or some such name.
“The Punisher” Dan Stein lifts Marty on his shoulder like Savage did Elizabeth as Donovan holds the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship. Alexander Von Blankenship slides into the ring
Guillermo O’Bannon: AVB now back in the ring and stomps Kilroy Evans until he falls out of the ring. “High Roller” Wesley Crane has seemingly escaped Syberus and is now in the ring with The Anointed as they celebrate their Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship win, with more interference than I’ve seen in any match in quite a while!
Phillip Blauer: You’re right, Hardkore World is back baby!
Guillermo O’Bannon: See you in Albuquerque!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Hello fans and welcome to Boston! This is Hardkore World’s first trip here in nearly 30 years, in 1993 when Total Destruction won the Hardkore World Tag Team titles over The Californians in an upset at the Boston Gardens!
Phillip Blauer: Why it hasn’t changed a bit since then. I haven’t seen someone wearing their hat frontwards since I got off the plane.
Guillermo O’Bannon: I like your costume, Phil. Who are you supposed to be?
Phillip Blauer: Are you daft, man? I’m The Kaiser. I used to be so scared of him as a kid.
Guillermo O’Bannon: When you were a…? I see you’re still recovering from your attempt to wrestle at the TV taping in Prescott.
Phillip Blauer: (winces and touches his neck brace) I’m sorry Gretel, it’s something only us ‘boys’ in the back know about. But I now know that the Dutch Express are butchers and need to be banned from the sport. So you came as Ric Flair?
Guillermo O’Bannon: No, I’m Daemon Targaryen. King of the Stepstones and the Narrow Sea…
Phillip Blauer: But you got the wig from…
Guillermo O’Bannon: Yes, I got the wig from my old Ric Flair costume. Why are you wearing that belt?
Phillip Blauer: It just burns you up, doesn’t it? That Marty thinks I’m the real News Hawk journalist here?
Guillermo O’Bannon: (folds his arms) No. Anyway, Marty is back in his hometown with the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship, putting it on the line against two time champion Kilroy Evans. Kilroy will be in hostile territory as you can tell by the tenor of the audience here tonight.
Phillip Blauer: What will Kilroy do when he can’t bum a ride back to the Super 8 motel by the I-95, pretend to lose his key, and then sleep on their couch?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Stay in Jackie’s room like usual.
Thumbs up from cameraman Jackie Valentine Jr.’s steadicam
Guillermo O’Bannon: We also have a highly anticipated Hardkore West Coast title match here tonight between the new champion Eron Hunter and Alexander Von Blankenship. Eron lost his mask, but picked up his first Hardkore championship from The Sheik in Phoenix but now he puts it on the line against the ruthless and arrogant AVB.
Phillip Blauer: When AVB wins the Hardkore West Coast title from Eron Hunter tonight maybe we’ll make a custom belt for him as well, and you can have the old one as The Western States Heritage Journalism Championship. Would you like that? You betcha would. That’s my little tiger.
Guillermo O’Bannon: But coming up, Hardkore Helloween. Originally, it’s been 4 barbed wire battle royals, the winners wrestling in a barbed wire tag team match, and then the winning team fights one another for the Helloween Cup.
Phillip Blauer: Sadly, we do not have the roster for that.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Nevertheless, one of these men will grab a piece of eternity tonight. It all started in 1995 when Matthew X’s bodyguard won the Hardkore Helloween Cup. After that it was the Hans Schmutzhausen who won it two years in a row, and then his protege “Superstar” Joe Jeffriees that won it the year after that.
Phillip Blauer: It was under Nazi control for quite some time.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Unfortunately that is true. Speaking of bodyguards, the strongman for the Thorn Cult, Eerie Von won it in 1999.
Phillip Blauer: Ah yes, the man with the one move. He would yell it out…HIPTOSS!!
Guillermo O’Bannon: He didn’t have a tongue, and it was a chokeslam.
Phillip Blauer: No, I can see it in my mind’s eye. The fans would spell it out with cards, and he would put that massive arm under their armpit…
Guillermo O’Bannon: Then in a huge upset, the masked King won it in 2000. Hardkore World closed down for three years after that…
Phillip Blauer: Best years of my life.
Guillermo O’Bannon: And then in 2004, Robert Hunglestien III won it by defeating “Tigerheart” Rally Jackson in the final. In 2005, Andrew Sinclair won the Cup.
Phillip Blauer: Ah yes, the Nightmare Lariat guy.
Guillermo O’Bannon: No, that was Andrew Karnage. This guy was “The Straight Shooter”.
Phillip Blauer: I can sort of picture him. He was Mormon.
Guillermo O’Bannon: That’s still Andrew Karnage. In 2006, Marty Donovan was able to upset “The Punisher” Dan Stein for the Cup.
Phillip Blauer: Dan Stein, a fine barrel chested gentleman. We’re still friends on Facebook. The fish that guy pulls in these days. One of these days I gotta show him how to catch big, fighting marlin on the lake.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Those are ocean fish.
Phillip Blauer: Not if you know where to look, Gipetto.
Guillermo O’Bannon: In 2008, the blood thirsty Lucifer Jones won Helloween.
Phillip Blauer: Intercontinental Matthew X.
Guillermo O’Bannon: That’s mean. The last one to win Hardkore Helloween was the popular Dougie Ray Bullet.
Phillip Blauer: I miss Dougie.
Guillermo O’Bannon: We all do. But tonight we crown a new Helloween Champion in a battle between the new generation and old guard of Hardkore World.
The bell rings and the MGM Music Hall at Fenway roars as the spotlight hits Greg Jin in the center of the ring
Greg Jin: "Hello Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to the MGM Music Hall at Fenway for Hardkore Helloween 2022!!"
Huge pop from the crowd
Greg Jin: "This is The 2022 Helloween Cup! It is a Barbed Wire Falls Count Anywhere Match where the winner will receive The 2022 Helloween Cup as well as a shot at the Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion!"
‘Zerospace’ by the Kidneythieves hits, and the Boston crowd boos fans as the lights focus on the top of the ramp.
Phillip Blauer: That’s what I’ve been saying this whole time. These people get me. You know what? Next round of Dunkin is on me. Wait…(starts counting everyone) Never mind. But the sentiment is still there.
Tuxedo Mask does his customary post to soak in the adulation but he only gets jeers and heckled by the Boston crowd. He looks taken aback by their reaction, but he still holds up the Hardkore World Tag Team Championship to the boos of the MGM Music Hall.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask was last in a Hardkore Helloween in 2009 where he lasted 36 minutes before being eliminated by Shadowstorm. He was despondent recently and seemingly a little down in the dumps about his stamina.
Phillip Blauer: Are we about to do a Blue Chew ad?
Guillermo O’Bannon: I wish! Then we wouldn’t have to run the green funeral lady’s spots anymore. But Ri Eun-Ae gave him a job at her gym, hoping it will get the smallest guy in this match in shape.
Phillip Blauer: I would watch the Powerade fridge if I were her. Those $7 babies can be a goldmine!
Tux straps the belt around his waist and then does a cartwheel handspring into a flip down the ramp to start his entrance but the audience heckles his gymnastic expertise. He slides under the barbed wire and climbs the turnbuckle for one last chance for adoration but only gets scorn for his efforts.
Guillermo O’Bannon: He’s still looking to get some revenge on Ruben Bowman who nearly obliterated Ri Eun-Ae at Irish Rage in Belfast 2022. Tonight would be his best chance to get it, but he needs to watch out for the other participants.
Greg Jin: "Featuring first, hailing from Tokushima, Japan. Coming in at 5 feet 8 inches and Weighing in at 185 pounds; He is One Half of the HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS; He is the uncommon kamen, a connoisseur and a lady lure...TUXEDO MASK!!!"
Then the lights cut and the old Indian head "Please Stand By" TV signal fills the screens.
"Weak and Powerless" by A Perfect Circle starts up and the crowd rocks with boos as images of Syberus in Hardkore World's heyday replace the testing signal. Smoke billows from the ramp and from it Syberus emerges, his robe open and flowing around him as he strides onto the stage
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus has accomplished a lot here in Hardkore World but he has never even competed in a Helloween Cup, something he has always wanted to do. But most importantly he can finally get his hands on “High Roller” Wesley Crane.
Syb takes a brief look around at the jeering crowd with a fan holding up a “Society of the Through Breed” sign before heading down the ramp.
Phillip Blauer: Syberus would be well advised to keep his fish and chips greasy hands off of the High Roller, lest he catch another In The Face, in his face. In fact, he’s lucky I have this neck brace because I would…
Syberus walks past the commentary table and Phil pipes down
Guillermo O’Bannon: You were saying? Syberus wants his Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship back and the best way to do that is to win this Helloween Cup tonight and get a rematch against Disney’s Marty Donovan.
Syberus wipes his feet on the MGM Music Hall before sliding under the barbed wire. He circles the ring for a second before hopping up in one corner and raising the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship in the air.
Greg Jin: “From Manchester, England; Standing 6 feet and Weighing 200 pounds; The only Five Time Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion In History…THE GREAT SYBERUS!!!”
“Seasons in the Abyss” by Stone Sour plays and the fans cheer as Malcolm Xavier Graves walks out with The Sheik who ignores them, even smacking away their hands as they reach out to touch him. MXG also slaps away any attempt to tap him.
Guillermo O’Bannon: These two have been in a dour mood since The Sheik lost his Hardkore West Coast Championship to Eron Hunter in Phoenix. And then lost his XHF Hardcore Title match against Dylan Black in Houston at End of Days.
Phillip Blauer: I wouldn’t want to be in a locker room with him right now, much less a barbed wire wrapped ring.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Malcolm Xavier Graves wanted a rematch against Hunter tonight but he can’t dwell in the past. He’s got a chance to win a shot at Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Disney’s Marty Donovan, and with his wild, unorthodox style he’s got to be one of the favorites to win this whole thing. He has vowed to tear through the six other men in this match, and believe me, he has the ability to do it.
Greg Jin: “Accompanied to the ring by his manager Malcolm Xavier Graves; From The Empty Quarter; Standing 6 feet tall; Weighing 235 pounds; The Man from Rub' al Khali…THE SHEIK!!!”
“Oboro” by Dir En Grey plays and the fans cheer as Kira Izumi walks out in a black leather jacket and an Oni mask, black cargo pants and nikes.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Here he is, the AWF Hall of Famer, AWF Prestige Class Champion, and former XHF Phoenix Champion…Kira Izumi. Hardkore Helloween is open to anyone, and Kira and Little Dragon were the only ones brave enough to answer the challenge. He overcome a horrible childhood, and went on to become a legendary wrestler in AWF, FIW, the AWA, and runs a top notch company in Japan known as J-ROK. Now, he comes out to Hardkore World to participate in a match that is right up his alley.
Phillip Blauer: Look, who had a good childhood? You know my Dad used to come home from the tar fields reeking of the stuff. But he did it to feed his family and give people the tar to make their cigarettes taste delicious, and to pour on the local Tories. And while all I and my siblings wanted to do was jump on his lap and hear a story about the giants that used to roam the earth 10 or so years earlier, he would swing that long chain he wore around his neck in the air to keep us away from him. Funny story, it wound up choking him to death in his sleep one night. I…I…hated that blasted chain.
Phil stares ahead in horror
Guillermo O’Bannon: Phil? Phil? Ok, Kira Izumi has long heard about Hardkore World but says today’s incarnation could use a little help. He’s never been in this kind of match and looks forward to showing some new eyeballs why he’s the Prince of Darkness.
Greg Jin: “From Shinhidaka, Hokkaido, Japan; Standing 6 feet tall; Weighing 200 pounds…KIRA IZUMI!!!”
After a few seconds of “Taurus Shrine” playing, Ruben walks out on to some cheers. Surprised, he nods in their direction then actually seems a little delighted by the recognition. He starts acting humble, thanking them.
Phillip Blauer: Vincent Van Gogh wasn’t appreciated in his lifetime and it cost him his ear. He died penniless. Now they drive around the country charging $60 a pop to do his Immersive Experience Show. Goes to show you. Being ahead of your time is for suckers. Get the love while you can.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman the biggest man in this very violent event, which will be a huge advantage.
Ruben Bowman slides under the barbed wire into the ring, then bows and then goes to wait in the corner.
Greg Jin: “And from Wherever The Muses Dictate; Standing 6 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 285 pounds; He is Poetry in Motion…RUBEN BOWMAN!!!”
The MGM Music Hall lights turn plum purple
"I'm So Paid" by Akon plays as the lights begin pulsing with the beat of Wesley’s theme music.
“Rubbing on that Italian leather
'Dem Konvict jeans on!
Ay yo Weezy!
You Ready, yeah!
I get it in 'till sunrise
Doing ninety in a sixty five
Windows rolled down screaming ah!
Hey-ey-ey' I'm so paid
Number one hustla' gettin' money
Why do you wanna count my money
I'm a hustla' and I don't need them!
One of them y'all see! I'm so paid”
The lights go back to normal and out steps “The High Roller” Wesley Crane to the cheers of the Boston fans.
Phillip Blauer: Here he is, my pick to win the whole thing! Whether it’s at the tables or in the ring, Big Brain Wesley Crane cannot lose!
Wesley Crane stands on the stage and looks around at everyone. He lowers his aviator sunglasses and gives everyone a cocky grin.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Fresh off his controversial debut in the company when he cost Syberus the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship in Phoenix. It cemented his status in The Anointed but also put a huge target on his back for Syberus, not to mention his Society of the New Breed stablemate Tuxedo Mask, also in this match.
“High Roller” Wesley Crane slowly makes his way to the ring, the entire time looking around at the fans.
Phillip Blauer: Does this man look worried? This guy takes calculated risks with tens of thousands of dollars in a weekend. While most of the marks lose their shirts in Vegas and Atlantic City, this man goes where the real action is, Syracuse. He knows exactly what he’s doing, and currently living rent free in Syberus’ head.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Like any successful gambler, Wesley has researched every competitor in this match, paying special attention to Syberus and The Sheik, but he says he has the skills to outlast everyone in this match, since he is the future of Hardkore World.
Crane mockingly wipes his feet on the floor like Syberus did, and then slides under the barbed wire. Syberus snarls at Crane, who ignores him and stands in the center of the ring with his arms wide open.
Greg Jin: “And from Syracuse, New York; Standing 6 feet 1 inch tall, Weighing 223 pounds; He’s All In; The Big Brain…’HIGH ROLLER’ WESLEY CRANE!!!”
A fierce looking dragon slowly raises its head and spews fire and flames before "Set the World on Fire" by Annihilator.
Images of Little Dragon executing various moves in his matches as Little Dragon appears on the rampway, wearing a green sleeveless full body surfer's suit, green ring boots, green MMA cobra gloves and a green mask that covers his face, nose and chin and his waist length dark hair flows freely from the top of his mask and his face and arms and body are covered with dragon tattoos and TAO symbols.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Another man here to accept the challenge of Hardkore Helloween is two time NPW Phoenix Champion Little Dragon.
Phillip Blauer: What’s the big deal of being champion of Phoenix, Arizona?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Not the city, Phil. He’s wrestled in AWF, feuded with the likes of Bloodied Fox, and now he’s here in Hardkore Helloween to vault to the top of the card with a win that gets him a shot at Marty Donovan for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship.
Phillip Blauer: What is he six foot? I expected a much Littler Dragon. Talk about bait & switch.
Little Dragon storms ringside and when he reaches the ring he slides under the barbed wire and forward rolls to his feet in a dragon stance.
Guillermo O’Bannon: When he was a young child, he watched his parents wrestle in Hardkore World. 13 years ago, at Hardkore Helloween 2009, he saw his father Dragon Belt last 32 minutes before he was eliminated by Frank Jasper. His mother, Dragonatrix lasted 49 minutes before being eliminated by Natalie Burrows. Now he attempts to make his own history. His parents taught him to respect his opponents, but he says that will emerge from twisted steel, bloodied and battered but the 2022 Helloween Cup Winner.
Greg Jin: “From Hong Kong, China; Standing 6 feet tall, Weighing 225 pounds; The Dragon of All Trades…LITTLE DRAGON!!!”
The fans cheer and suddenly Syberus lunges towards Welsey Crane but Ruben Bowman cuts him off with a big headbutt with his metal chainmail. The bell rings
HARDKORE HELLOWEEN
Phillip Blauer: Not so fast!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman using that steel chainmail headdress to headbutt Syberus over and over!! Kira Izumi whacks Tuxedo Mask with a right cross, while The Sheik takes over on Syberus with a flurry of punches. Little Dragon cracks the big man, Ruben Bowman with a kick to the ankle.
“High Roller” Wesley Crane smashes Tuxedo Mask with a forearm to the face. Little Dragon whacks Bowman with a stiff kick to the knee. Crane irish whips Tux into Ruben Bowman, but Tuxedo Mask slides through his legs
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask hops onto the middle of the second turnbuckle and backflips into a moonsault that takes out Bowman and Wesley Crane!!
The Boston fans boo. Syberus approaches the downed Crane, but Kira Izumi cuts him off with a left hand, and then a right. Syberus answers with a kick to Izumi’s shin
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi with a stiff right jab to Syberus’ chin, and Syberus hits back with a kick to the knee. Syberus rakes Kira Izumi’s eyes to gain the advantage. This is truly amazing to see these two tangle this early, a match up people have wanted to see for a while.
Phillip Blauer: Message boards have discussed who would win this encounter countless times in lieu of the soft touch of a woman.
Kira Izumi blocks Syberus’ punch with his forearm, and counters with one of his own. Meanwhile, The Sheik kicks Wesley Crane in the stomach
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik smacks Crane on the back with a forearm, but now a bent over Crane elbows Sheik in the stomach.
Tuxedo Mask: This is for Ri Eun-Ae!
Tuxedo Mask rears back and clocks Ruben Bowman with a right hand. Bowman’s head turns to the side, and then he no-sells it and glares at Tux. The MGM Music Hall cheers
Phillip Blauer: When is this joker gonna realize he doesn’t have George McFly strength?
Tux shakes out his hand in pain while he backs off, trying to calm Ruben Bowman down. The Boston crowd calls for Tuxedo Mask’s blood while near the barbed wire, Kira Izumi boots Syberus in the stomach
Guillermo O’Bannon: He’s defending his best friend Ri Eun-Ae, but maybe that wasn’t the best approach. Bowman bashes Tux in the face a few times, and then beal tosses him across the ring!
The audience roars as Tux sits up in a mix of pain and surprise. Kira goes for a saito suplex, but Syberus blocks it and applies a headlock. Tuxedo Mask scoots under the barbed wire out of the ring to catch a breather. Wesley Crane irish whips Little Dragon into the turnbuckles
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik charges into the corner but Little Dragon puts his knees up into Sheik’s face, and Wesley Crane catches Sheik with a jawbreaker. Ruben Bowman headbutts The Sheik with that metal chainmail headdress, stunning him. Bowman pulls Sheik up and tries to push his face into the barbed wire!
The fans pop and some women scream at the possibility of the barbed wire being used, but The Sheik puts the breaks on. Syberus locks his hands together, clamping down on the headlock on Kira Izumi
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik trying to avoid becoming the first to encounter that barbed wire but Ruben Bowman is the strongest guy in this match. The Sheik finally back elbows Bowman in the eye to stop him in his tracks.
A sigh of relief goes through the MGM Music Hall at Fenway. Tuxedo Mask, sensing an opportunity, climbs to the top turnbuckle
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask leaps off the top rope and catches a blinded Ruben Bowman with a tornado DDT!!
Tuxedo Mask celebrates over the jeers of the crowd. Syberus flips Kira Izumi onto his back with a side headlock takedown
Guillermo O’Bannon: Little Dragon gets on top of Ruben Bowman and does a ground and pound technique, raining blows down on Ruben Bowman, knocking off that chainmail headgear. Meanwhile, The Great Syberus continuing to wear down Kira with that headlock.
Dragon pulls Bowman up and irish whips him, but Bowman reverses it and shoots Little Dragon into the turnbuckles. Dragon bounces out of the corner and Bowman back drops him high into the air
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman applies a reverse chinlock on Little Dragon. Most of the men in this match are playing it pretty safe right now, trying to avoid the barbed wire for now.
Phillip Blauer: Quite a sound plan if you ask me.
Kira Izumi plants his feet and drops Syberus on the back of his head with a saito suplex. The fans cheer as the impact sits Syberus up before he falls back down to the mat
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman continuing to wear down Little Dragon with the reverse chinlock while he’s on one knee. Little Dragon fights to his feet and elbows Bowman in the breadbasket.
The Sheik stomps Syberus while he’s on the mat. Little Dragon elbows Bowman again to free himself from the reverse chinlock
Guillermo O’Bannon: Little Dragon takes Ruben Bowman over in a Mexican armdrag. The Sheik turns his attention to Tuxedo Mask and slugs him with a right hand. Another punch has Tux teetering towards the barbed wire!
Phillip Blauer: Yes! Mess his pretty little face up.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Phil! Little Dragon flips an oncoming Ruben Bowman with another Mexican armdrag and then applies an armbar. The Sheik goes for another big right hand, but Tux does a split!
The Sheik misses his right cross, and Tuxedo Mask punches him in the groin. Little Dragon sticks his knee into the ball of Bowman’s shoulder and clamps down on his arm
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane hits a bent over Sheik with a jumping knee to the face. Syberus tries to get up, but Crane catches him with a stiff kick to the ribs, rolling him over to the mat
Tuxedo Mask saves Syberus by grabbing Crane by the arm from behind and twists his arm, rolling him into a la majistral cradle. Richie Richardson slides over to make the count
…ONE!
…Wesley Crane kicks out!
Phillip Blauer: Look out Wesley, those Society of New Breeds are everywhere!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Little Dragon still working on Ruben Bowman’s arm with that armbar, but Bowman has gotten to his feet with him hanging onto his arm. He uses his massive strength to hip toss Little Dragon across the ring with his armbarred arm!
The fans cheer that show of power as Dragon sits up in pain. Kira Izumi irish whips The Sheik into the corner, but he hops onto the second turnbuckle
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik hops back with an elbow that takes out Kira Izumi, and Ruben Bowman follows it up with a leg drop across Izumi’s face.
The Sheik pulls Kira Izumi up into a suplex position, but Izumi sandbags him and blocks it. He counters with a suplex of his own and then drops Sheik on his head with a brainbuster
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman scoops Little Dragon up and bodyslams him, but Dragon catches him with an inside cradle on the way down!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Ruben Bowman kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus catches Bowman getting up with an armdrag. Ruben Bowman gets to his feet and gets blasted with a hard chop by Kira Izumi.
Another hard chop from Izumi to Ruben’s chest gets a “Woo!” from the Boston crowd. The Sheik blocks a punch from Little Dragon
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik kicks Little Dragon in the stomach and drills his head into the mat with a DDT! Tuxedo Mask irish whips Wesley Crane but he reverses it and shoots Tux into the corner
“High Roller” Wesley Crane charges and hits Tux with a knee in the corner. Tux staggers out of the corner and tries to kick Crane but he catches Tux’s leg
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tux swings around with an enzuigiri! Crane is staggered, and Tuxedo Mask takes him out with a roundhouse kick!
Kira Izumi goes for a suplex, but the 6’7 Ruben Bowman puts a stop to that. He plants his feet and counters with a suplex of his own. The Sheik hops onto the middle turnbuckle
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik backflips into a moonsault body press, but Little Dragon catches him and turns it into a powerslam!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…The Sheik kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus finally gets his hands on Wesley Crane!
The audience boos and jeers while Wesley Crane motions for a quick time out.
Phillip Blauer: The man needs a timeout! Is there not a shred of sportsmanship left in this man??
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus grabs Wesley Crane by the hair and smashes his face into the turnbuckle over and over!!
The jeers get louder. On the other side of the ring, Ruben Bowman butterflies The Sheik’s arms
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman double underhook suplexes The Sheik across the ring, while Syberus continues to smash Crane’s head into the turnbuckle over in the corner!
Wesley Crane flops out of the corner from the impact. Kira Izumi grabs a handful of Bowman’s hair from behind
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi headbutts Ruben Bowman from behind. Tuxedo Mask grabs Bowman around the neck in a cravate and then backflips into a shiranui seated DDT!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Ruben Bowman kicks out!
The audience boos Tux as Ruben Bowman rolls under the barbed wire to escape to the floor. Wesley Crane tells Syberus to back off as he scoots back on the mat. Tux slaps the mat in frustration. Tuxedo grabs The Sheik by the hair and pulls him to his feet
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask irish whips The Sheik, but Sheik reverses it and shoots Tuxedo Mask into the barbed wire!! He’s the first man, but not the last, to taste the wicked wire.
The Boston crowd erupts in cheers as Tuxedo Mask arches his back in pain, stuck in the wicked wire. Syberus pulls Crane up by the hair and bashes him with several hard elbows to the face
Phillip Blauer: I’m glad it was him. That sounded written. Did you write that?
Guillermo O’Bannon: No. The Sheik charges in with a heel kick that presses Tuxedo Mask deeper into the barbed wire!!
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway roars as Malcolm Xavier Graves celebrates at ringside. Tuxedo Mask rolls under the barbed wire and falls to the floor at the ringside area
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane ducks one of the elbows from Syberus and hits him with a german suplex!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Syberus rolls his shoulder up!
Guillermo O’Bannon: The last time Syberus was at Hardkore Helloween was 14 years ago in 2008, when he successfully defended the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship in a threeway match between the late Adrian Tanner Jr. and RDS..hey, Hey! What are you doing?
Phillip Blauer: (reading the writing on Guillermo’s palm) “He’s the first man, but not the last, to taste the wicked wire.” I knew it. He wrote it down.
Guillermo O’Bannon: It’s a good line. The Sheik grabs Kira Izumi around the neck in a headlock, and then thumbs him in the throat. Meanwhile, Little Dragon gets a running start, dives over the barbed wire and catches Ruben Bowman out on the floor with a plancha!!
The fans cheer as referee Richie Richardson makes the count out on the floor
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Ruben Bowman kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: You can get eliminated anywhere in Boston tonight at Helloween!
Phillip Blauer: That’s just crackers. Are we living in a world gone mad?
Inside the ring, Syberus slowly gets to his feet but Wesley Crane running european uppercuts him back to the mat
Guillermo O’Bannon: Little Dragon gets a running start here at ringside, but Ruben Bowman catches him with a belly to belly suplex over the railing into the audience!!
The crowd pops as Little Dragon lies in the front row at the feet of some starstruck fans.
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik goes for a sling blade but Kira Izumi ducks it and grabs him in a half nelson hammerlock. Izumi drops him in a tiger suplex!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…The Sheik rolls his shoulder up!
Syberus slides under the barbed wire and then stands up on the apron. Ruben Bowman steps over the railing, but a bleeding Tuxedo Mask grabs him
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask pulls the railing up so it hits the perched Ruben Bowman in the railing!!
The audience boos as Bowman grimaces in pain. Inside the ring, Kira Izumi blocks a suplex by The Sheik and reverses it into a brainbuster
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tux koppo kicks the crotched Ruben Bowman with a koppo kick that knocks him into the audience!!
Wesley Crane comes over to grab Syberus but Syberus grabs Crane by the wrist and drops down to the arena floor, hanging his biceps across the barbed wire!! The audience lets out a collective “OH!! Crane screams in pain and drops to the mat, clutching his bleeding arm
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus dropped Crane’s arm in the barbed wire! Now that he has him, the former Hardkore World Champion has been laser focused on the man that cost him that title.
Crane clutches his bicep with blood seeping out through his fingers as he kicks his toes in the mat.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi irish whips The Sheik into the corner, but he hops onto the middle turnbuckle and twists back into a flying body press!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Kira Izumi kicks out!
Out in the audience, Little Dragon smashes Ruben Bowman’s face into the metal guardrail
Guillermo O’Bannon: Little Dragon grabs Bowman’s hair and rams his face into the security rail again! Bowman returns fire with several withering right hands that back Little Dragon back into the crowd!
Syberus slides back into the ring but he catches his calf on the barbed wire on the way in, and clutches at his leg
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane spears Syberus into the barbed wire!!
The MGM Music Hall rocks with cheers as Syberus is crucified in the barbed wire. Crane lies on his back, holding his bleeding arm. Tuxedo Mask climbs to the top turnbuckle
Phillip Blauer: Wesley Crane masterfully took advantage of that momentary distraction to just t-bone Syberus into the barbed wire.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask jumps off the top turnbuckle into a corkscrew moonsault that takes out both Little Dragon and Ruben Bowman out in the second row!!
A busted open Tux, Dragon and Bowman lie in a sea of chairs and sticky floors. Inside the ring, Kira Izumi wraps up Syberus’ legs with his leg, and then bridges back into a muta lock, popping the the crowd
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi locks his hands under Syberus’ chin and pulls up on his head and neck. Out on the floor, a bleeding Tuxedo Mask tosses Little Dragon over the railing into the ringside area.
Kelly O’Connell checks in with Syberus to see if he wants to give up to Kira’s muta lock, but he shakes his head, refusing to give up. Tuxedo Mask grabs Little Dragon in a headlock out on the floor, while Ruben Bowman climbs over the railing
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane stomps Syberus while he’s in Kira Izumi’s muta lock. Out in front of us, Little Dragon pushes Tuxedo Mask off, shoulderfirst into the cornerpost! Ruben Bowman then big boots his head into the ringpost!!
The MGM Music Hall lets out a huge “OH!!” at the sound of the clang of Tux’s head hitting the post
Phillip Blauer: Tuxedo Mask bleeding buckets of blood before, and now he is out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ruben Bowman presses Tuxedo Mask over his head!
The fans cheer as Bowman effortlessly holds him up over his head, letting everyone get a good shot of it. Suddenly a woman hops the rail
Guillermo O’Bannon: It’s Ri Eun-Ae!
Phillip Blauer: And she’s got a taser!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ri Eun-Ae tases Ruben Bowman in the stomach and Tuxedo Mask falls on top of him!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THREE!
Greg Jin: “At 24 minutes 14 seconds; RUBEN BOWMAN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY TUXEDO MASK!!”
Phillip Blauer: What?? That little…? She can’t…
Guillermo O’Bannon: Bowman messed with her in Northern Ireland and it looks like this was their plan all along. Inside the ring, “High Roller” Wesley Crane grabs Syberus around the neck and flips into the barbed wire with an exploder!!
Huge ovation for Wesley Crane as Syberus rolls around the mat in pain, bleeding. Ruben Bowman doesn’t want to leave but Hardkore security Larry Valentine Jr. convinces him to walk to the back. The Sheik slides under the barbed wire and climbs to the second turnbuckle
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik with an elbow drop off the second turnbuckle onto a still prone and bleeding Tuxedo Mask!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Ri Eun-Ae stomps the back of Sheik’s head
The Sheik gets up and stares at Ri Eun-Ae who backs away slowly. The Boston fans cheer her predicament
Guillermo O’Bannon: Oh, come on.
Phillip Blauer: If Ri Eun-Ae wanted to sign up for this match all she had to do was ask.
Inside the ring, Kira Izumi picks Syberus up into a suplex, and then rests his feet on the barbed wire and ropes. Then he twists Syberus into a dragon screw neck whip! Outside the ring, Ri Eun-Ae backs into Malcolm Xavier Graves, trapping her between him and an oncoming Sheik as the audience buzzes with anticipation
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik fuming as he stares at Ri Eun-Ae…but Little Dragon smashes him in the back with a waffling chair shot!!
The Sheik goes down and Ri Eun-Ae escapes back out through the crowd
Guillermo O’Bannon: Little Dragon grew up watching Ri Eun-Ae when she was two time Hardkore World Women’s Champion Makoto Jupiter, and he wasn’t going to let the sadistic Sheik or Malcolm Xavier Graves touch her!
Inside the ring, Wesley Crane scoops Syberus up, but he falls behind him with an inverted facelock and drops down into a reverse DDT!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Wesley Crane kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Syberus picks him up into a single underhook and goes for the Pure Confidence DDT, but Crane lifts him up into a fireman’s carry and runs him into the center of the ring with a death valley driver!!
A bleeding Syberus sits up from the impact and then falls back down. At ringside, Little Dragon the chair over his head to hit The Sheik but Malcolm Xavier Graves grabs the chair from behind, and they start wrestling for it
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ok, so if MXG wanted to be in Hardkore Helloween why didn’t he sign up?
Phillip Blauer: Oh well, it’s a whole thing. You gotta find the sign up sheet, and the damn pen has to have ink…
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik kicks Little Dragon in his exposed stomach. Now he DDTs Dragon’s head on the concrete!!
The Boston fans cheer. Inside the ring, Wesley Crane moves in on Syberus but the veteran basement dropkicks his legs out from under him and Crane falls facefist into the barbed wire!! The MGM Music Hall rocks with boos
Phillip Blauer: No!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wesley Crane now on his knees, trying to pull a barbed wire strand out that has been caught on his hair. At ringside, Tuxedo Mask grabs The Sheik from behind with an inverted facelock and reverse suplexes Sheik’s stomach onto the railing!! But wait, Syberus gets a running start and running leg lariat’s the back of Crane’s head, pushing his face farther into the barbed wire!!
Phillip Blauer: This action has gotten too much to call. I give up. More so, than usual
The audience boos as a bleeding Syberus bounces up and down on his back, increasing the pain. Meanwhile, Little Dragon dismantles the ringsteps and lifts them high above his head as he walks over to the perched Sheik on the railing
Guillermo O’Bannon: Little Dragon smashes Sheik with those ring steps!!
The thud of the ringsteps echoes through the MGM Music Hall at Fenway. Syberus violently pulls Crane’s face out of the barbed wire, and tosses him to the mat. Crane’s face leaks blood all over the canvas. Slowly, Crane gets up to his knees, but Kira Izumi whacks him in the side of the head with a shining wizard
Guillermo O’Bannon: Itami no Izumi by Kira Izumi!
Phillip Blauer: My stars, he’s speaking in tongues!
Guillermo O’Bannon: No that’s the name of the…you know what? I’m not doing this. Wesley Crane staggers to his feet but Syberus catches him with a diamond cutter!
The Boston fans heckle Syberus the camera pushes into his eyes gleaming at a bloody Crane face down on the mat. He pulls Wesley up into a single underhook
Phillip Blauer: Someone stop him! Larry!
Hardkore Security Larry Valentine Jr. shrugs and suddenly Disney’s Marty Donovan and Alexander Von Blankenship slide under the barbed wire, popping the crowd
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship throws Syberus up into a faceplant by Marty Donovan!! Come on!
Phillip Blauer: My god, I was so scared…I can’t…I can’t catch my breath.
The crowd celebrates and Marty rolls Wesley Crane over onto a prone, bleeding pink haired Syberus. Kelly O’Connell makes the count from the outside
…ONE!
…TWO!
,,,THREE!
Greg Jin: “At 32 minutes 31 seconds; THE GREAT SYBERUS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY ‘HIGH ROLLER’ WESLEY CRANE!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan wanted no part of a rematch with Syberus so he conspired with Wesley Crane and AVB to eliminate him from Helloween.
Phillip Blauer: A heavy favorite to win the whole thing, eliminated, and for what? Syberus got himself eliminated by picking on the poor kid the whole match.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Donovan and Von Blankenship escape the ring like rats. Meanwhile, The Sheik and Little Dragon are fighting out in the crowd. Sheik backs Dragon up with a right hand and then grabs a chair. He brings it crashing down onto the skull of Little Dragon!!
The fans cheer Sheik as Dragon lays sprawled out in a couple of seats in the 6th row. In the aisle, Hardkore physician David Valentine Jr. helps Syberus to the back. Inside the ring, Kira Izumi grabs Wesley Crane and turns him over into a boston crab. A bleeding Tuxedo Mask slides under the barbed wire back into the ring
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi sits low on that boston crab, bending Wesley Crane in half.
Phillip Blauer: Is this because Big Brain Wesley Crane never heard of him?
Guillermo O’Bannon: I’m sure it didn’t help.
The Sheik goes to grab him by the hair, but Dragon tosses a handful of powder in his face!! Sheik staggers around the audience blinded, and walks into the railing, flipping over into the ringside area. Meanwhile, inside the ring, Wesley Crane bleeds all over the canvas while Kelly O’Connell asks him if he wants to tap out to Kira Izumi’s boston crab
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask baseball slides under the barbed wire and catches The Sheik with a helicopter rana on the floor!!
The audience jeers as Sheik, with powder all over his face and chest, lies out on the floor next to a bloody Tuxedo Mask. Little Dragon gingerly rolls back onto the apron. Kira Izumi releases the boston crab and slides under the barbed wire out onto the floor
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi picks The Sheik up and irish whips him so hard into the railing that he falls against the hard steel!
Izumi picks up a chair and holds it in front of The Sheik’s face. Little Dragon gets a running start off the apron and van terminator kicks the chair into Sheik’s head!! The MGM Music Hall lets out a collective “OH!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask reenters the ring and goes for a suplex on Crane, but Wesley puts the brakes on. He counters with a suplex but drops him on his head with a brainbuster!
The Boston crowd cheers, and Crane twists his hips and rolls back to his feet. Wesley lifts him up for another brainbuster and lets him fall to the earth skull first
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane rolls those hips again and lifts Tuxedo Mask up into a third and final brainbuster!
Kira Izumi pulls The Sheik up by the hair, but Malcolm Xavier Graves jabs him in the stomach with the butt of his cane
Guillermo O’Bannon: Izumi now doubled over in pain after that interference by MXG, and The Sheik takes advantage with sitout X factor on the floor
The audience groans at the sickening thud of Izumi’s face hitting the concrete. Little Dragon grabs The Sheik by the hair and pushes his face into the barbed wire!! Sheik falls back clutching his face
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik now gets some barbed wire to face. Wesley Crane irish whips Tux but Tuxedo Mask reverses it and shoots him into the corner. He handsprings into a hurricanrana that takes Crane out of the corner!
Malcolm Xavier Graves sets up a chair at ringside. Little Dragon climbs to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a shooting star press but Kira Izumi moves out of the way and he hits the railing hard getting another “OH!!” from Boston
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi pulls Little Dragon’s head into his legs and lifts him up into a Decayed State Of Mind piledriver on the concrete!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Little Dragon kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Izumi loads Little Dragon on that table, punching him a few times to keep him there. The Sheik moonsaults off the top turnbuckle onto Dragon through the table!!
Huge pop from the crowd as Richie Richardson slides over and makes the count
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Little Dragon kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask handsprings into a spear but “High Roller” Wesley Crane reverses it into a jumping spinning DDT!!
Kira Izumi pulls Little Dragon up by the hair and tries to push his face into the barbed wire but Dragon puts the brakes on by putting his foot on the apron
Guillermo O’Bannon: Little Dragon raking Izumi’s face back and forth on the barbed wire, tearing his forehead to shreds!!
Dragon turns around into a running slingblade by a crimson masked Sheik. Izumi, slightly blinded from the blood running down into his eyes, pulls Dragon up into a double underhook, and flips him into his tiger driver ‘91
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Driver ‘91 on the floor!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THREE!
Greg Jin: “At 40 minutes 17 seconds; LITTLE DRAGON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY KIRA IZUMI!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Inside the ring, Wesley Crane pulls Tux up into another DDT, but Tuxedo Mask lifts him up into a fireman’s carry and then spins him into a TKO on the barbed wire!!
Crane flops on the mat, holding his face as blood leaks through his fingers. At ringside, The Sheik brings a chair down hard on the back of Izumi, and then jams the top of the chair in his ribs
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask steps on the backs of Crane’s knees and rolls him up into a dragon sleeper surfboard! Tuxmission ‘99!!
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway as a blood drenched Wesley Crane is lifted in the air, with his head and neck being bent back. Outside the ring, Kira Izumi wrestles the chair away from The Sheik
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi crowns The Sheik with that chair!! In the ring in front of us, Tuxedo Mask bending Crane in half but Wesley refusing to give up.
Kira Izumi slides under the barbed wire into the ring and stomps Crane’s exposed stomach while he’s in the Tuxmission ‘99, breaking the hold. He climbs to the top turnbuckle from inside the ring
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi with a moonsault off the top rope onto “High Roller” Wesley Crane!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Wesley Crane kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik slides under the barbed wire into the ring and irish whips Kira into the corner. He charges in and hits Izumi with a heel kick!
Kira Izumi sinks down into the corner in a sitting position. Tuxedo Mask cartwheels into a handspring into a bronco buster
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tux Buster! The Sheik goes for a leg drop on Crane, but Wesley rolls out of the way.
Tuxedo Mask pulls Kira Izumi up and shoots him into the opposite corner, but Izumi runs up the turnbuckles and backflips over an oncoming Tux and lands behind him with a full nelson and dragon suplexes him
Guillermo O’Bannon: Konjiki Ashisogi Jizō!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Tuxedo Mask rolls his shoulder up!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wesley Crane butterflies Sheik’s arms and drives his head into the mat with a double arm DDT!
All four men lie on the mat, totally exhausted, and bleeding. The MGM Music Hall at Fenway give them a big round of applause for the effort these men have given thus far
Phillip Blauer: Is this for me? God, I love this town!
Guillermo O’Bannon: No, Phil. This is for these men brutalizing one another for nearly 45 minutes. All to be etched in The Helloween Cup that goes back to 1995, and get a shot at Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Disney’s Marty Donovan.
Phillip Blauer: Nah, that kind of applause sounds different. This is more of a “Can’t believe his hair still looks that amazing. How does he do it?” You get an ear for those kind of things. The answer? Fresh placenta.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ew.
Phillip Blauer: Oh you gotta get it fresh, Ginger Snap. I gotta guy. You want me to put you in touch with my placenta guy?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Dear God, no.
Phillip Blauer: Sorry, Larry.
Hardkore head of security Larry Valentine Jr. looks deflated. Kira Izumi is the first to his feet and goes to hit Tuxedo Mask with another shining wizard, but Tux covers up, so Izumi grabs him by the arm and drops down into an armbar
Guillermo O’Bannon: Izumi Special! Wesley Crane irish whips The Sheik into the corner, but he runs up the turnbuckles and twists back into a flying body press!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Wesley Crane kicks out!
Kira Izumi looks like he was dipped in blood as he wrenches back on Tux’s arm. Kelly O’Connell checks in but Tux is barely answering anymore. She tests Tux’s arm and he limply keeps it up
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi releases the Izumi Special, and pulls Tux up by his bloodsoaked hair. He blows that poison mist in Tuxedo Mask’s eyes!!
The fans cheer and Kira Izumi begins to apply la oropezina submission on a blinded Tuxedo Mask. He ties up their legs, sticks Tux’s head into his waist and then hooks his other leg with his arms
Guillermo O’Bannon: McDonald’s Sprite!! He pulls up on that leg while putting pressure on the back of Tuxedo Mask’s neck. The Sheik comes over to the High Roller but Crane superkicks him upside the head! Tux submits to McDonald’s Sprite!
Greg Jin: “At 48 minutes 29 seconds; TUXEDO MASK HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY KIRA IZUMI!!”
Phillip Blauer: And then there were three!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Hardkore Helloween is now a threeway dance between Kira Izumi, The Sheik, and Wesley Crane. Crane on the top rope and comes crashing down across Sheik’s chest with a flying elbow!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Wesley Crane kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi pulls The Sheik up by his blood drenched hair, and slugs him in the face. Sheik counters with a punch of his own, and then kicks Izumi in the stomach. He scoops Izumi up and drops him on his head with a michinoku driver II!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Kira Izumi kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wesley Crane applies a dragon sleeper on Kira Izumi. The Sheik kicks and stomps Kira while he’s locked in. It looks as though these two have decided to team up to try and do maximum damage to the former AWF World Champion.
Kelly O’Connell in the ring now, checking to see if Kira Izumi wants to tap out. The fans cheer Crane, as he leans back on Izumi’s head & neck
Phillip Blauer: If Marty Crane is able to make Izumi tap out, it will be quite a feather in his cap.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wesley.
Phillip Blauer: What?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wesley Crane. You said Marty Crane. That’s Frasier’s dad.
Phillip Blauer: I assumed they were the same guy.
“High Roller” Wesley Crane releases the dragon sleeper and The Sheik leg drops him on the back of his head. Crane pulls Kira to his feet. He backs up and then charges in, hitting Kira with a running european uppercut
Guillermubno O’Bannon: The Sheik irish whips Kira Izumi into the corner. He follows him in with a elbow, but Kira ducks it and counters with a saito suplex!
Wesley Crane comes running in but Kira Izumi back body drops him over his shoulder, high in to the lights before crashing down to the mat! He sits up in pain, with blood running down his face
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi taking on all comers here! Now he grabs Sheik’s legs and twists them around into an Indian deathlock, then drops down to the mat!
The Sheik shrieks in pain as Izumi presses down on his twisted legs. Kelly O’Connell checks in to see if Sheik wants to submit, but he shakes his head no
Guillermo O’Bannon: Izumi locks his fingers and pulls back on The Sheik’s ankle while while pushing against his foot with his own. The Sheik tries to fight out of it with forearms.
The Sheik bleeds on the mat, and suddenly Wesley Crane starts kicking Izumi while his legs are tangled with The Sheik
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane lifts Kira into a suplex, but Izumi floats over onto his feet behind him. He double underhooks Crane’s arms and lifts him up into a Decayed State of Mind!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Wesley Crane kicks out!
Kira bleeds from several lacerations on his forehead. He sits up and questions Kelly O’Connell on her count. He pounds the mat in frustration and then slides under the barbed wire to the floor below. He pulls out a table
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kira Izumi is tired of messing around. He slides that table into the ring, and then follows it in there.
The Boston fans cheers as Izumi sets the table up. He lifts Crane up by the blood soaked hair and starts to roll him on the table but Malcolm Xavier Graves slides under the barbed wire into the ring
Guillermo O’Bannon: MXG breaks that cane across the back of Izumi’s head!!
Kira Izumi’s eyes roll around and then he collapses on Wesley Crane on the table. Crane slides underneath him, and onto his feet.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Malcolm Xavier Graves blatantly interfering in this match with that cowardly act!
Phillip Blauer: The handicapped get all the breaks. That’s why I park in their spaces.
Malcolm Xavier Graves hands Crane a chair while The Sheik climbs to the top turnbuckle
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wesley Crane holds that chair over Kira Izumi’s face and The Sheik comes off the top turnbuckle with an Arabian facebuster through the table!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THREE!
Greg Jin: “At 55 minutes 16 seconds; KIRA IZUMI HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY THE SHEIK!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Malcolm Xavier Graves inserting himself into this match, sullying it as usual.
Phillip Blauer: MXG takes the extra step for his clients.
The Sheik stands up and glares at Wesley Crane as the fans applaud
Phillip Blauer: The final two are now on The Road to Helloween!
Guillermo O’Bannon: That’s good.
Phillip Blauer: Right off the top of my head.
Crane and Sheik circle one another cautiously while Hardkore physician David Valentine Jr. helps a drained, exhausted and bloody out of the table rubble
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik clubs Crane with a forearm, and Crane counters with a right hook.
Sheik kicks Crane in the stomach, and then elbows him on the back of his neck. Sheik reaches back and cracks Crane with a hard right uppercut. He grabs Wesley in a sleeper
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik clamps down on his head and neck, thrashing him from side to side with that sleeper hold.
Kelly O’Connell checks Wesley Crane’s arm and it almost falls, but Crane catches it, popping the Boston audience
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wesley Crane drops to his knees, shooting the top of his head through Sheik’s chin! Sheik staggers around and Crane clocks him with another superkick!!
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway roars and Sheik goes down like a redwood. An exhausted Wesley Crane crawls over and collapses on Sheik
…ONE!
…TWO!
…The Sheik kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane flips The Sheik across the ring with an exploder suplex!
The fans cheer as Sheik is sprawled out on the mat. Crane wipes some blood out of his eyes as he walks over and pulls Sheik’s head into his legs
Guillermo O’Bannon: Crane lifts him up into a powerbomb but The Sheik rolls out and reverses it into a facebuster!!
Crane lies on the mat, bleeding all over the Hardkore World logo. Malcolm Xavier Graves pounds on the apron at ringside while The Sheik pulls on his arm and drops down into a LeBell lock
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik locks his hands together and peels back on Crane’s head and neck, while scissoring Wesley’s twisted arm.
The Boston fans boo as blood drips down Crane’s face, while he shakes his head, refusing to tap out to Kelly O’Connell. MXG bellows at ringside, urging Crane to give up
Phillip Blauer: Think of the fans, Wesley! Think of the guys who put money on you to win Helloween and then parlayed it with the Jets game and who the Masked Singer is this week.
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik rocks back on his head and neck, while driving his knees into Crane’s chicken winged arm. He finally releases the LeBell lock and then pulls him to his feet. The Sheik irish whips Wesley Crane into the barbed wire!!
The MGM Music Hall rocks with boos as Wesley Crane stands, crucified in the barbed wire and screaming in pain
Phillip Blauer: At this time, I want to appeal to The Sheik’s benevolent and tender side…
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik charges in with a heel kick that pushes Wesley Crane deeper into that sadistic barbed wire!!
The audience boos as Wesley Crane screams in pain and bleeds on the mat. The Sheik steps on his back and applies the accolade
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik applies The Last Crusade! He locks his hands together around Crane’s chin and jawline and yanks back on his head.
“High Roller” Wesley Crane bleeds all over Sheik’s forearms while he clamps down on The Last Crusade. Kelly O’Connell asks Wesley Crane if he wants to submit but he doesn’t answer
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kelly O’Connell tests Wesley Crane’s arms in that Last Crusade but he keeps it up. The Sheik releases Crane’s head, then starts stomping his head over and over.
The Sheik climbs to the top turnbuckle from inside the ring as Malcolm Xavier Graves sings his praises to the ringside fans
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik backflips into a moonsault!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Wesley Crane kicks out!
The Sheik slaps the canvas and mutters to himself while MXG complains to Kelly O’Connell about a slow count. Graves slides a chair into the ring
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Sheik lies that chair over Wesley Crane’s face and climbs to the top turnbuckle. He leaps off with a leg drop, but Crane moves so he just hits that chair with his leg!!
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway erupts with cheers as The Sheik clutches his knee and crows out in pain. Malcolm Xavier Graves scolds Kelly O’Connell for having a chair in the ring
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane pulls a hobbling Sheik up and irish whips him into the barbed wire!!
The fans are deafening as Crane bashes Sheik’s face into the barbed wire over and over!! Sheik blindly staggers away, and Wesley Crane catches him with an RKO
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wesley Crane with an HRKO!! He climbs to the top turnbuckle and basks in the glow of the crowd!
The Boston crowd chants “WES-LEY! WES-LEY! WES-LEY!” as Wesley Crane stands on the top turnbuckle with his arms stretched out
Guillermo O’Bannon: Crane leaps off with a flying elbow into the chest of The Sheik!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
….THREE!!!
The audience erupts as “High Roller” Wesley Crane remains on top of Sheik, not moving. "I'm So Paid" by Akon plays through the MGM Music Hall at Fenway
Phillip Blauer: This is better than any of my children’s births. No question!
Greg Jin: “At 1 hour 4 minutes 23 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE 2022 HARDKORE HELLOWEEN CUP…’HIGH ROLLER’ WESLEY CRANE!!!”
Wesley Crane rolls off of The Sheik, who collects his client. The Boston fans shower applause down on Crane as he lies against the bottom turnbuckle in the corner. Hardkore ring crew Donnie Valentine Jr. along with Hardkore intern Andy Valentine Jr. begin clipping the barbed wire with clippers
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane lasted over an hour, tossed into barbed wire, and bled all over the place to become the 2022 Hardkore Helloween Cup Winner!
Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Disney’s Marty Donovan and Alexander Von Blankenship enter the ring and help Wesley Crane to his feet
Phillip Blauer: The Anointed here to celebrate with their Helloween Cup winner, Wesley Crane!
The hometown crowd cheers Marty Donovan while he and AVB hug the blood drenched and slightly confused Wesley Crane
Guillermo O’Bannon: Donovan and AVB certainly helped him win this thing.
Phillip Blauer: Why do you have to be like that? Honestly, what is wrong with you?
Hardkore Jonnie Valentine walks into the ring with the large Hardkore Helloween Cup
Guillermo O’Bannon: This is history right here. Wesley Crane’s name will be etched in that trophy alongside the names of Kilboy Powerhead, Hans Schmutzhausen, Joe Jeffires, Eerie Von, King, Robert Hunglestien III, Andrew Sinclair, Andrew Karnage, Lucifer Jones, Dougie Ray Bullet; and not to mention, standing in the ring with him, current Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion, Disney’s Marty Donovan.
Valentine stands in front of AVB, Donovan, and Wesley Crane with the Helloween trophy. Greg Jin puts the microphone to Jonnie’s lips
Hardkore Jonnie Valentine: “That was incredible. Decades of Hardkore Helloweens violence and I think some of the best was tonight here in Boston!”
The MGM Music Hall pops. Wesley Crane nods his head, while Marty motions for the crowd to make some more noise
Hardkore Jonnie Valentine: “Wesley Crane, I am honored to present you with something you earned tonight with blood, sweat, and tears. Wesley Crane, you are the 2022 Hardkore Helloween Cup Winner!”
The Boston fans let out an ear splitting pop as Jonnie Valentine hands Wesley Crane his Hardkore Helloween Cup. Crane grins from ear to ear as he holds up the trophy
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane makes history here tonight, not to mention earns himself a Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship against Disney’s Marty Donovan at a future date.
Phillip Blauer: Never mind about that, it will be handled like gentleman. The Anointed have won Hardkore Helloween, Alexander Von Blankenship will win the Hardkore West Coast Championship from Eron Hunter, and Marty will successfully defend his Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship over Kilroy Evans. It’s gonna be a clean sweep!
Wesley Crane stands on the second turnbuckle, holding the Hardkore Helloween Cup while AVB snarls behind him, pumping his head to "I'm So Paid" by Akon. Marty Donovan seems to eye him nervously, while pointing at him
Guillermo O’Bannon: Sure, we’ll see how true that is, as well as how Marty handles his stablemate having the next title shot against him. But fans, don’t go away we have the aforementioned Hardkore West Coast title match coming up between Eron Hunter and Alexander Von Blaneknship! Don’t go away!
***commercial***
A well dressed blonde in a pink dress is standing in a pizzeria adorned with art from the modernism period of the late 50’s and early 60’s. To her right is an older rich man. He’s balding and in his 60’s and looks pretty stressed out. A large pizza is on a table in front of them
Owner: Are you looking for a restaurant with a taste of the early modernism period? Who isn’t?! Come on down to Modernism Pizza in Palm Springs. We have treasures from the early mod craze as well as my own art pieces that have been described by my closest friends as “interesting” and “really, really good”,
Husband nods as best he can
Owner: But obviously, Modernism Pizza isn’t just about showing my art to the world. It’s about making a difference in the community. That’s why we have pledged countless dollars to local charities, soup kitchens, animal rescue centers, and charity walks.
Husband: Countless dollars.
Owner: But wait we didn’t talk about the best part of Modernism pizza! Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays are our Open Mic Night. Come for free…
Husband: For free?
Owner: …to hear the newest spoken word artists hone their craft in front of receptive audiences like you.
Husband: Aren’t you forgetting something?
Owner: Oh yes. We are completely pet friendly. We even spay and neuter pets here on the premises.
Husband: No, I meant the pizza.
Owner: I don’t do carbs so I’ve never had it.. I thought you tried it?
Husband: I’ve been a little busy with contractors, the permits, the bank, doing all the hiring, the health inspection, not to mention getting the squatters that had made this abandoned building their home out of here. They had lawyers, Diane! They made macaroni and cheese on a hot plate every night, but they somehow had lawyers.
Diane: I told you I can’t be bothered with that or it will cloud my art that I create for our restaurant. That’s my contribution.
Husband: So you haven’t even tried this yet?
He takes a slice of pizza and immediately gets a sour face
Husband: It’s awful.
Diane: It’s from a recipe I got in an old Redbook magazine.
Husband: You expect us to sell this?
Diane: What difference does it make? My sculptures are going to be what brings in the people…
Husband: (starts pacing) Oh my god, I’m gonna lose everything! I can’t believe I let you talk me into this!
Immediately cuts out to graphic
Modernism Pizza!
(The shot opens on the beautiful sunrise in the Boston harbor. We zoom out and see a bookish man in yachting clothing standing on the back of a small yacht.)Emery: Ah what a view! This call for a drink.
(The man turns around and we see there is a purple fox tail sewn to the back of his khakis. He pours himself a martini and turns back to the camera.)
Emery: Hello, I am Emery Endicott. Do you have a deep love of sailing or pretending to be a neon green, eight foot tall yak? Well, then do I have an event for you.
(A logo of a purple fox suggestively riding a Boston Whaler boat appears on the screen.)
Next Saturday the Palm Springs Convention Center is proud to host my Yachts of Yiffs Expo. This is the world's only dual boat sale and furry convention. We just had an expo here in Boston and it was a smash hit.
(We see footage of an elderly man attempting to inspect a boat while a parade of furries dance by. Disgusted, the man shakes his head and storms out of frame.)
Emery: I know what you're thinking. Emery, is there a lot of crossover between the two fan bases? The answer is none. The intersection of the venn diagram is empty, but I am a desperate man.
(He downs his Martini in one gulp.)
Emery: I previously ran these events separately and lost my ass on both of them. People just don’t go out as much in this post-covid world. This new combined format is one last hail Mary to make the payments on my Sea Ray.
(We see a Sunreef salesman giving his pitch to a retired couple. A pile of furries cuddle on the boat he is exhibiting.)
Emery: We offer free workshops on sailing and what the best fursuits are for salt water.
(We see Marty and Ollie sitting at a booth in the expo center. They are dressed as Nick Wilde and Judy Hopps from Zootopia.)
Emery: The stars will be out as well. Come meet undefeated CAR racer Olivia Oldham and Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Disney’s Marty Donovan. Receive a free autograph when you cancel your subscription to a rival streaming service.
(Marty watches Kilroy’s video on his phone. He shakes his head and turns to Ollie.)
Marty: Can you believe Kilroy did another one of those stupid, white room promos? They were lazy and played out back in 2006. I'm going to have Wes send a memo to the locker room. No more empty backgrounds. We’re supposed to be selling tickets, not shooting Weezer videos.
(A fan dressed as Flash the sloth approaches with their cell phone held up.)
Fan: I just canceled my HBO Max!
Marty: Was it a full subscription or the free month?
Fan: The free month…
Marty: You can have our autographs, but I’m not writing best wishes.
(A band in wolverine costumes perform “Hey Nineteen” by Steely Dan as a sparse crowd of attendees rest their feet. One child is randomly dancing in front of the stage offbeat.)
Emery: Enjoy some classic yacht rock with a fursona twist thanks to Steely Dan cover band The Annandale Wolverines.
Singer: The Cuervo Gold! Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza! Make tonight a wonderful thing!
(We cut back to Emery. He is putting on a fursuit of some kind of teal wolf/ mermaid creature.)
Emery: Tickets are half off for kids under ten and gray muzzles. Don’t miss out. This event is sure to make a splash!
(Emery does a cannonball into the harbor and then starts thrashing frantically as he discovers the suit is too heavy. The event info displays on the screen before fading back to the MGM Music Hall at Fenway)
Hardkore ring crew supervisor Donnie Valentine Jr finishes up removing the barbed wire with engineer Rocky Valentine Jr. and Hardkore Intern Andy Valentine Jr.
Guillermo O’Bannon: What an amazing match and a return to Hardkore’s roots…
Phillip Blauer: …as garbage wrestling.
Guillermo O’Bannon: We’re just moments away from our West Coast Championship match where Eron Hunter defends against Alexander von Blankenship!
Phillip Blauer: AVB all the way baby! There isn’t enough Prozac in the state that would make me enjoy a Hunter promo!
Guillermo O’Bannon: I’m getting word that Greg’s getting ready to start the ring ann-
Voice: Let’s address the elephant in the room, first!
The voice resonates throughout the MGM Music Hall as the HKW camera crew scan to spot the origin. They finally find their focus in Cross Recoba, standing in one of the Corporate boxes. He appears with a camel brown overcoat draped over his navy blue suit. A Boston Red tie breaks up the fall colors.
Cross Recoba: Or should I say, The Fox in the Arena.
A self-satisfied smile breaks across the face of the Tap Out Wrestling Owner’s face. A mix of jeers and cheers fills the venue.
Cross Recoba: Settle down, settle down. I know that when you have such illustrious names like Tuxedo Mask, Little Dragon and Syberus to keep you entertained you’re thinking ‘Why do we need him?”....here’s the answer. Later tonight you’ll see Marty Donovan and Kilroy Evans fight over your biggest title….
Crowd: DISNEY’S OWN! DISNEY’S OWN! DISNEY’S OWN! DISNEY’S OWN! DISNEY’S OWN! DISNEY’S OWN! DISNEY’S OWN!
Cross shakes his head at the rabid appeal of the hometown boy.
Cross Recoba: …and you know, if you weren’t just bloodthirsty savages you’d realize you should be more than a little sad. Marty might get some endorsement dollars from Disney but he’s kibble to them, nothing more, nothing less. If Disney did a special on him for their own Network, it’d run in place of the trailer that precedes those three-minute Marvel shorts…and even then, they’d think it ran too long…
Crowd: WE LOVE MARTY!! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAPCLAP* WE LOVE MARTY!! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAPCLAP* WE LOVE MARTY!! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAPCLAP*
Cross grabs an Evian bottle and drinks from it.
Cross Recoba: But he’s your Champion…for now and if when he isn’t tonight what do you have instead? A hick shaped like the beer barrel that helped form his body. Sophie probably had an easier choice than you all do for who to root for in the main-event!
Placing the bottle down, Cross can feel himself hitting his stride.
Cross Recoba: Now do you think I’m here out of choice? Of course not! With Infinite Pro Wrestling taking an off-Network deal it leaves me in a potential breach of contract with the Network. Part of my Tap Out deal is that I HAVE to appear in a company on the Network and you won pretty much by default. Wrestle: UK? Infinite Pro have exclusivity on me within the British Isles. Champoon? If I wanted weird I’d just pitch a show to the Network involving Terry Bradshaw. J-Rok? Do you want to try and survive living on three different time-zones…
Cross pauses.
Cross Recoba: Yes, there is more than one time-zone for those of you who think a vacation should never cross state lines….and so HardKore World won out. Do I think that I’ll be challenging the winner of tonight’s main-event anytime soon? Hardly, my contract lies with Mongo and not with HKW. Could I have competed tonight? Without a doubt but ask yourselves this, why would one of the best technical wrestlers on the Network lower himself to compete in a match that included Barbed Wire in the name? Do you think that at any point in this whole sorry charade that you’re going to see me put my career and livelihood at risk in a match where the focus of the match is on how barbaric it can get? Not a chance!
The crowd have now picked their side and it isn’t with the man standing with the microphone in his hand.
Cross Recoba: What I’m about to tell you, I should have charged Mongo a fee for doing this. You see, everytime you see me in a HKW ring…I’m going to show you what actual wrestling looks like. You’ll see how you can take down someone without having to use a trash can or a steel chair. You’ll witness as I lock someone up in Garibaldi’s Guillotine and make them tap for mercy but without needing barbed wire to do it. You might even realize that most wrestlers go over the top when they hit a move to the outside…not when they need a match with more light tubes than fans to get noticed.
The boos amp up further.
Cross Recoba: I’m only here tonight to get a reading on the roster. The next time you see me though? You’ll realize why I’m the XHF Box Office Smash!!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wow! What a blockbuster announcement! Cross Recoba is here in Hardkore World and already has his sights set on the Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Marty Donovan.
Phillip Blauer: I look forward to him classing the place up a bit.
Phil looks at a fan licking the box his nachos came in, to get all the cheese off. He smiles at Phil with cheese dripping from his beard
Phillip Blauer: (waves at the fan) Alot.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cross Recoba says he is here to show the Hardkore fans what wrestling is, and we’ll see in the coming months what he means by that. But coming up is the Hardkore West Coast Championship Match between Eron Hunter…
Phillip Blauer: Who?
Guillermo O’Bannon: The former Lynx, and Alexander Von Blankenship.
Phillip Blauer: Now we’re talking. This match will be more of a coronation of the new King of the West Coast, AVB.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter shed his mask in Phoenix and is focused on holding that legendary title that has been held by many of the greats.
Phillip Blauer: Why’s he defending a West Coast title in Boston. I feel like that’s gonna be held up on a technicality.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship has been getting more reps and says he’s ready to become a champion like his father. This will be his second title opportunity here since he lost in the Hardkore World Heavyweight title tournament final to Syberus at Palm Springs Punishment 2022 back in July.
Phillip Blauer: Like any good rookie, AVB has taken that bitter moment and used it to motivate him for tonight. Like when my part Racist Vice Principal was cut from Breakfast Club. I had a rant against Italians when my character thinks Judd Nelson is one. They switched it up a little and gave it to the cop in Boys in the Hood.
A thick cloud like haze fills the entry way, and brilliant blue lights create an almost angelic like atmosphere. The Boston fans leap to their feet and roar
I've been blessed up (geez)
I've been broke down (oh yeah)
Gotta catch up (yeah)
Gotta shine now (okay)
Running faster (oh yeah)
I can't slow down (oh no)
Gotta catch up (yeah)
Gotta shine now
Alexander Von Blankenship steps from behind the curtain, a cocky smirk on his smug face. He holds his arms out, soaking in the cheers, before mouthing the words "Always Very Blessed" as he points to the smug look on his own face.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship seems to be enjoying this ovation from the Boston faithful here. He, along with “High Roller” Wesley Crane cost Syberus his Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship in Phoenix. Now he hopes to bring the Hardkore West Coast Championship to The Anointed as well.
Ayy, I got the moves
Bearing that fruit and now I got the juice (juice!)
God has been cooking, now I got the soup
Put this together, yo, really
He clever, I cannot do better
AVB looks out at the crowd, his smirk is now a scowl. Slowly walking towards the ring he points to a fan holding the sign “Always Very Blessed”, and another one holding one that says “I Liked Eron Better When I Couldn’t See His Face”. He yells loudly "That’s what I’m talking bout!"
Phillip Blauer: This man was my tag team partner in Prescott, Arizona, Goo Goo. We share a bond that only the Midnight Express, the New Dream Team, and the second version of Demolition can understand. He was there for me when that headscissors takedown nearly killed me.
Ride the wave, yeah
Ain't got no fright today, yeah
I'm gonna rise today, yeah
Don't gotta fight the wave
'Cause I'm peeping the visuals, I bring the visuals
AVB walks up the steps to the ring, stopping before he gets inside, he gives the ring a father son and holy sport blessing before climbing the outside turnbuckle, looking towards the entire crowd he yells out "Always Very Blessed" before jumping down into the ring.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “High Roller” Wesley Crane won the 2022 Hardkore Helloween Cup, and now AVB hopes to make it a clean sweep for The Anointed by winning the Hardkore West Coast Championship from Eron Hunter here tonight.
I've been blessed up (geez)
I've been broke down (oh yeah)
Gotta catch up (yeah)
Gotta shine now (okay)
Running faster (oh yeah)
I can't slow down (oh no)
Gotta catch up (yeah)
Gotta shine now….
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway cheers wildly, and AVB rolls into the ring before coming up with a grin.
Greg Jin: “The following match is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit and is for the HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPIONSHIP! Your referee is Kelly O’Connell. Featuring first, from Amsterdam in the Netherlands; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall. Weighing in at 215 pounds; Brought to you by Arby’s, ‘We Have The Meats!’ He is Always Very Blessed…ALEXANDER VON BLANKENSHIP!!!”
Huge ovation for Alexander Von Blankenship
"Long Walk Home" by Howl Trance plays and the Boston crowd boos as Eron Hunter walks down the aisle with the Hardkore West Coast Championship strapped around his waist
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter making his first title defense in what seems to be hostile territory, the fans here siding with the hometown boy Marty Donovan as well as the members of The Anointed, like Alexander Von Blankenship.
Phillip Blauer: It will be interesting to see how he does without little kiddies wearing his mask and their ear splitting screams whenever someone so much as lays a hand on him.
Eron Hunter hops onto the second turnbuckle with the Hardkore West Coast Championship lifted up high in his hands
Guillermo O’Bannon: Hunter says that AVB’s ego isn’t strong enough to handle anything other than success. He claims that he has had a tough road in his career which has emotionally fortified him, while Von Blankenship has had everything handed to him.
Phillip Blauer: Sounds like jealousy. But again, everything sounds like that to me.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter has worked hard to get the Hardkore West Coast Championship and he refuses to let Alexander Von Blankenship take it away.
Greg Jin: “And his opponent, from Sicily; Standing 6 feet; Weighing 200 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION…ERON HUNTER!!!”
Uncharacteristic boos from the MGM Music Hall which Hunter ignores and AVB seems amused by. Eron folds the straps and hands Kelly O’Connell his Hardkore West Coast Championship
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship attacks him before the bell, hammering Hunter with right hands!
HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPIONSHIP
Eron Hunter vs. Alexander Von Blankenship
Guillermo O’Bannon: But Eron Hunter fires back with a european uppercut. Another backs AVB off
Eron Hunter shoots AVB off into the ropes and then hits him with a high extension dropkick, but the audience heckles Eron when he tries to fire himself up
Phillip Blauer: Boston is a city well known for crushing spirits.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter lifts Alexander Von Blankenship up into a suplex and then just leaves him up there!
The fans boo as Hunter shows some impressive strength before depositing AVB on the mat. Von Blankenship sits up with his back arched in pain. Hunter pulls him up by the hair
Guillermo O’Bannon: Hunter kicks AVB in the stomach. He goes for another, but Von Blankenship catches his leg and takes him over into a dragon screw.
Alexander Von Blankenship scoops Hunter up and drops him over his knee with a backbreaker, then Hunter flops to the mat; holding the small of his back
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship sets up a suplex, plants his feet, and hits a lightning quick snap suplex on the Hardkore West Coast Champion.
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway starts chanting “AVB! AVB! AVB!” Alexander mockingly bows, then pulls Eron Hunter up by his hair
Phillip Blauer: This city finally giving young master AVB his flowers. Well deserved.
Guillermo O’Bannon: AVB irish whips Hunter into the ropes, but Eron ducks a clothesline and dumps Von Blankenship on the back of his head with a half nelson suplex!
Hunter waits for Von Blankenship to get to his knees and then tags him in the side of the head with a shining wizard. A loud “OH!” goes through MGM Music Hall then replaced by jeers
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter grabs a fujiwara armbar. He plants his feet and pushes back with his legs, cranking on that forearm to put pressure on his shoulder.
AVB shouts out refusals to quit to Kelly O’Connell. He’s able to swing his free arm around and rake Hunter’s eyes with his nails to escape the fujiwara.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship gets to his feet and stomps the blinded Eron Hunter. He scoops him up and drops him into a shoulderbreaker.
Hunter lays on the mat clutching his shoulder, while AVB shakes some feeling into his own. Eron Hunter gets to his feet and Von Blankenship whacks him with a hard chop. Another blistering chop gets a “Woo!” out of the crowd. Another chop, another “Woo!” from Boston
Phillip Blauer: Woo!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter answers with a jumping roundhouse kick to the mouth of AVB!
Von Blankenship covers his mouth and lays on the mat. Hunter pulls AVB into a double underhook position and then tosses him with a butterfly suplex
Guillermo O’Bannon: AVB gets to his feet only to stumble into a flatliner, into a koji clutch by Hunter!!
The fans boo as Eron Hunter uses his leg to peel back Von Blankenship’s head, while locking his arms around his neck & arm. AVB cries out in pain while Kelly O’Connell is in position for the tap out
Phillip Blauer: Hold on, kid!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Phil. Eron Hunter releases the koji clutch and lifts him up into a suplex position. He hooks that leg and flips Von Blankenship into a fisherman’s suplex!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Alexander Von Blankenship kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Hunter shoots AVB into the ropes, dips down for a backdrop, but Von Blankenship catches him looking with a swinging neckbreaker!
The crowd comes to life! Hunter flops on the mat, holding his neck, while AVB sits up with a smug grin on his face
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship lifts Eron Hunter up into a hanging vertical suplex of his own.
Phillip Blauer: Look at the poise, the raw power of AVB! Look how he can just hold him up there effortlessly like that. I’d like to see Eron Hunter attempt one of those.
Guillermo O’Bannon: He just did one like 5 minutes ago.
Phillip Blauer: (chuckles) Pretty sure I’d recall that. I mean just look at that perfect form!
Guillermo O’Bannon: AVB finally drops Hunter’s legs on the top rope so they ricochet into a slingshot suplex!
The Boston fans applaud the maneuver. Alexander Von Blankenship spread’s Hunter’s legs and then teases stomping his balls, but Kelly O’Connell warns him. He rolls his eyes and stomps the side of Hunter’s knee
Phillip Blauer: Good gameplan here to try and rob the former Lynx of his high flying arsenal by going after the legs.
AVB spread eagles Eron Hunter’s legs again and Kelly O’Connell tells him he better keep it above the waist. Von Blankenship nods and then stomps the groin of Eron Hunter! The fans laugh and pop loudly, while O’Connell threatens to disqualify Alexander Von Blankenship
Guillermo O’Bannon: Real nice.
AVB feigns confusion with O’Connell, while Hunter tries to recover on the mat. Von Blankenship promises to never to do it again, and as soon as O’Connell lets him by, AVB mounts Hunter and pounds him with right hands to the cheers of the crowd
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship pulls him up into a double underhook for Purification, but Hunter backdrops his way out of it!
Eron Hunter pulls Alexander Von Blankenship to his feet with a full nelson and then drops back into a dragon suplex
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Alexander Von Blankenship gets his shoulder up!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter goes to the apron and slingshots himself onto the middle of the top rope, springboard dropkick that catches Von Blankenship right on the nose!!
The audience boos, and Eron Hunter grabs a sleeper hold on the mat. He clamps down on AVB’s head and throat, trying to cut off his air. The audience chants “AVB! AVB! AVB!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kelly O’Connell checks in but there’s still some fight left in Von Blankenship.
Phillip Blauer: The young stallion is fighting his way back to his feet, but Hunter has that sleeper on tight.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship drives his elbow into the stomach of Hunter. Another elbow frees him from the sleeper. AVB now slaps Hunter across the face!
The fans let out a collective “OH!” An incensed Hunter looks at him and hits him with hard european uppercuts, backing him into the ropes
Guillermo O’Bannon: Hunter with a high cross body, but AVB catches him and tosses him across the ring with a fallaway slam!
The Boston crowd cheers loudly, and AVB kips up to his feet to impress them. Hunter gets back up but Von Blankenship grabs his leg
Guillermo O’Bannon: AVB tries a dragon screw but Hunter reverses it into an enzuigiri!
The cheers turn to jeers and Eron Hunter flips AVB into a northern lights suplex with a perfect bridge
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Alexander Von Blankenship gets his shoulder up
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter grabs his leg and turns him over into a single leg boston crab. He gets a good base with those feet, and leans back with his leg, trying to hyperextend the knee.
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway chant “Let’s Go Alex! *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Let’s Go Alex! *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Let’s Go Alex! *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap*” while Alexander Von Blankenship tries to hold on. He refuses when Kelly O’Connell asks him if he wants to tap out
Guillermo O’Bannon: Hunter releases the single leg crab and pulls him up into a double underhook, flipping him into a tiger driver ‘91!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Alexander Von Blankenship claps his legs together on Hunter’s head
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter irish whips AVB into the ropes and takes him out with a cartwheel kick!
The fans boo. Eron Hunter grabs him with a front waistlock for a belly to belly but AVB pokes him in the eyes
Phillip Blauer: What a gallant scientific maneuver!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship butterflies his arms and swings Hunter over into an angel’s wings!! Purification!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Eron Hunter kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: AVB stomps the back of Hunter’s head. He scoops Hunter up, but Eron floats over behind him in an inverted facelock and drops Von Blankenship with a reverse DDT!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Alexander Von Blankenship gets his shoulder up!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Since 1994, the Hardkore West Coast Championship has had a reputation as the worker’s title and it is living up to that tonight. Eron Hunter gets underneath a rising Von Blankenship and spins him into a saito suplex!
Both men lie on the mat exhausted as Boston tries to will Alexander Von Blankenship to his feet. Kelly O’Connell begins the double count
One!
Two!
Three!
Phillip Blauer: Every fan in this building is hoping, praying this young man can get up.
Four!
Eron Hunter sits up while Alexander Von Blankenship stirs a little
Five!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Both these men trying to be Hardkore West Coast Champion and the effects of this match are patently obvious.
Six!
Seven!
Eron Hunter pulls himself up by the ropes while AVB rolls to his side
Eight!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter gets to his feet and breaks the count. He charges a rising AVB and drills his head into the mat with a running DDT!
Eron Hunter hops to the second turnbuckle and in one swift motion backflips into a moonsault
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Alexander Von Blankenship kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter grabs AVB in a front facelock and steps to the second turnbuckle. He jumps off with a tornado DDT but Alexander Von Blankenship catches him with a spinebuster!!
The MGM Arena roars and the impact bounces AVB up and then back down as he makes the cover
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THR- Eron Hunter kicks out!
The crowd groans in frustration and an exhausted Alexander Von Blankenship argues with Kelly O’Connell that it was a slow count
Phillip Blauer: What is with this lady?
Guillermo O’Bannon: That was a fair count, Phil.
Phillip Blauer: I was referring to her telling me she has a girlfriend even though that just means more ladies for The Blau Dog, but yeah she could count faster too.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship measuring Hunter, motioning for him to get up…
Phillip Blauer: (starts barking obnoxiously)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Please don’t bark into your microphone, Phil. It makes our levels peak and the audio tech Kenny Valentine Jr’s last job was at Panera Bread. Ordained superkick by AVB upside Hunter’s head!!
The Boston fans pop! Alexander Von Blankenship pulls him up into a suplex, but Hunter floats over onto his feet behind him and grabs AVB in a standing katahajime
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tiger suplex ‘85 by Eron Hunter!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Alexander Von Blankenship gets his shoulder up!
The fans chant “Let’s Go Alex! *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Let’s Go Alex! *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Let’s Go Alex! *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap*” Eron Hunter shakes his head in disbelief. Both at the crowd and that the tiger suplex ‘85 didn’t finish him
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter applies a dragon sleeper. He crouches down, pulling back on AVB’s head and neck.
Hunter wraps his legs together around Von Blankenship’s waist and falls back into an on the mat version. Kelly O’Connell checks in but Eron wrenches back on the choke before AVB can answer
Greg Jin: “Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Hardkore West Coast Champion has spent the last 20 minutes wearing down Alexander Von Blankenship’s neck with the koji clutch, the sleeper and several suplexes and DDTs. Now he’s trying to cash in.
Kelly O’Connell tests AVB’s arm, but he keeps it up. The Boston crowd starts clapping faster and faster to try and will AVB out of the dragon sleeper
Phillip Blauer: This is like the double turn at Rock-Hogan, if Hogan was Nick Hogan! It’s inspiring, Giancarlo!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter releases the dragon sleeper and shoots AVB into the ropes. Von Blankenship ducks a discus lariat, and counters with a Baptism superman punch!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THR- Eron Hunter kicks out!
Alexander Von Blankenship sits up with a look of anguish and frustration on his face. Kelly O’Connell shows that it was two, and AVB slaps her hand away from him
Guillermo O’Bannon: What a fan favorite.
Phillip Blauer: Aaron Hernandez never had to pay for a beer out here.
Guillermo O’Bannon: AVB gets back to his feet and pulls Hunter’s head into his legs. He rolls Eron up onto his shoulder and then down on his head with a barry white driver!! Desecration!
AVB stands over Eron Hunter lying face down on the mat and spits on him! The audience loves it and Von Blankenship looks to the sky
Alexander Von Blankenship: “Always Very Blessed!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Very sportsmanlike.
Phillip Blauer: (holds his neck brace) We athletes spit sometimes, Gabriel. You wouldn’t know anything about that.
Guillermo O’Bannon: I go to the gym 5 days a week, Phil.
Phillip Blauer: To sit in your car and drink.
Guillermo O’Bannon: I go in sometimes. Alexander Von Blankenship lifting Hunter up on his shoulders, but Eron rolls back behind him, hooks his leg and drops him back into a release regal plex! White Tiger Suplex!
Eron Hunter pulls Von Blankenship into his legs and flips him up onto his shoulder and then runs into the center of the ring with a liger bomb
Guillermo O’Bannon: He now calls that the White Tiger Bomb!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THR- Alexander Von Blankenship claps his legs together on Hunter’s head!
Phillip Blauer: He’s up!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alexander Von Blankenship rolls up to his feet, but Eron Hunter takes him out with a running discus clothesline! White Tiger Lariat!!
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway rocks with boos as Alexander Von Blankenship is sprawled on the mat and Eron Hunter tries to catch his breath
Guillermo O’Bannon: Eron Hunter goes to the apron, and slingshots himself into the middle of the top rope, and jumps off with a springboard knee but Alexander Von Blankenship goes to intercept him with an Ordained superkick but Hunter lands on his feet and catches his leg! He counters with a cradle capture suplex!!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THREE!
The audience reacts with boos as "Long Walk Home" by Howl Trance plays and Eron Hunter raises one arm
Greg Jin: “At 24 minutes 49 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND STILL HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION…ERON HUNTER!!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: This was a war and Eron Hunter never surrendered, never gave up, just like he said, and now he is walking out still the Hardkore West Coast Champion.
Phillip Blauer: This is a travesty!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Why?
Phillip Blauer: It just is.
Kelly O’Connell hands Eron Hunter his Hardkore West Coast Championship belt and he raises it high above his head for the jeering Boston crowd. An exhausted AVB is on his knees, arguing about a fast count with O’Connell
Guillermo O’Bannon: Mask or no mask, Eron Hunter is a champion the people can be proud of, unlike Marty Donovan.
Phillip Blauer: Well I’m not proud of him.
Guillermo O’Bannon: No one cares, Phil.
Eron Hunter walks down the aisle with the Hardkore West Coast Championship slung over his shoulder
Guillermo O’Bannon: Coming up fans is our main event of the evening! Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Disney’s Marty Donovan making his first title defense against former friend Kilroy Evans! Don’t go away!
***commercial***
Open on Pepper Jack standing behind the counter of his fast food restaurant
Pepper Jack: Hi! Are you tired of fast food restaurants that say they have spicy, but always fall a little short? Come on down to Pepper Jack’s and try our Spicy Chicken Sandwich! I know what your saying, “Jack, I’ve had alot of chicken sandwiches that say they’re spicy.” But we marinate our chicken for two weeks in a diablo hot sauce that we have to smuggle in from Thailand. I’ve lost 5 men, 5 good men, getting those shipments. Then we put a slice of Ghost Scorpion cheese on it, as well as Xtreme Regret sauce. Then we put a little more sauce on it, just in case you thought we were playin. Then, we make the bun hot! We enfuse our buns with Carolina Reapers, so there’s no escape. Then we top it off with some shards of glass, and a gun to put yourself out of your misery halfway through!
Pepper Jack, For When You Hate Yourself!!
'Hardkore World. What do you know of hardcore? What do you know about extreme violence? But yet you all walk around here in your arrogance, in your pride speaking of things you don't even understand. But now it is time for a rude awakening, now it is time for reality to come back to this fucking delusion you all have made for yourselves!'
Gavin Drake stepped from the darkness, and he flung away a cigarette as his dark eyes narrowed. He lifted a hand, fingers flexing into a fist as he glowered at the camera. The slender form of Emily Black stepped from the shadows, her pretty face solemn under her hood as a hand was placed on Drake's shoulder. She said nothing though, and Drake snarled.
'You see the Empty Hand has come, and I will wake HKW to the cold hard truth of reality. Doom has come, darkness has fallen, and the Abyss demands it's due. And so lads, Donzig-gun is here! I am here! The Son of the Conqueror, the strong left hand of the Scourge! And I don't give two bloody shits if you are some beloved hillbilly, recite poetry, or wear a tuxedo! Are you taking the piss? Is that what it is?'
Drake scowled, shaking his head before he waved his hand before a finger jabbed at the camera. Black drew back a step, frowning slightly.
'I don't give a piss if you're from the Empty Quarter, I don't give a piss if some suit clad jackass does all your talking for you! And I don't even give two fucks, two fucks at all if you are a so called living legend! I am going to batter you into the ground! I am not here to play games with these people, we are here for our pound of flesh! Understand that! Understand that the Empty Hand takes!'
Drake's hand fell, and he looked away with a sneer.
'But most of all? I don't give a piss about how much you love Disney, I don't give a bloody piss if you are going to be in Guardians of the Galaxy part bloody sixteen! I don't care if you are on uncle Walt's payroll! I am Gavin Drake, the Blood of Kings, yeah? This place is ours, now!'
The slender form of Emily Black moved forward, and she lifted a hand to shove back her hood. Her black hair fell around her face, and her eyes narrowed before she shrugged.
'All dreams must end, the nightmare has come, and now Hardkore World must bow down before Donzig-gun. They must do homage to the Conqueror, and his sons.'
Something rustled in the darkness, and the leather clad figure of Donzig stepped forward with a wave of his hand. His fingers lifted to brush across his steel mask, and he flung back his hood to glare. His breath came out in a hiss, and he lifted a hand to drag across his mouth before he growled.
'I told you to be careful what you wished for Marty even on a fucking star.'
Guillermo O’Bannon: And now Gavin Drake is coming to Hardkore World? This is unbelievable.
Phillip Blauer: Why are all these Johnny Come Latelys showing up to pick on poor Marty? Don’t they have beautiful technically superior wrestlers with razor wit in their own territories?
Guillermo O’Bannon: He’s like a beacon of hate. Speaking of which, coming up is our main event fans! This has been an amazing show so far, but the energy in this building is about to explode.
Phillip Blauer: The fire marshall asked to cut off beer sales after the Helloween match, but I took Dorothy’s card…
Guillermo O’Bannon: Is that a Woolworth’s card?
Phillip Blauer: Don’t interrupt. And put everyone’s beers on me! Yay! Cheer for me! (turns around to the audience) Come on, Blau Dog! Blau Dog! Blau Dog!
Guillermo O’Bannon: These men were once best friends. Kilroy still thinks they are.
Phillip Blauer: Well, that’s stupid. I’m his best friend. I got him into Dorothy’s first husband’s country club and he gave the password to his Disney+ Platinum Special Reserve. You can watch all the old racist stuff on there, even pet projects Walt had when he went slowly and then rapidly insane towards the end there. There’s a Goofy How To short on turning in your neighbors you suspect are communist sympathizers, a hilarious anti-labor short where Donald Duck has to put down a strike at his American flag factory, and a romantic mini-movie targeted towards the 70s disco crowd where Pete gives Mickey some quaaludes he calls ‘Love Pills’ to give to Minnie. You wanna know the title, don’t you?
Guillermo O’Bannon: I do not. However, Kilroy has to put that aside and think of Marty as…
Phillip Blauer: “Slipping Her The Ol’ Mickey”! However, Daisy finds them in Minnie’s purse and thinks they’re aspirin, and next thing you know…
Guillermo O’Bannon: Dammit, Phil, I haven’t seen it yet!
Phillip Blauer: Sorry.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan is returning home as a conquering hero. Lately, he hasn’t had much support from the fans, due to being a narcissist…aren’t you going to say anything?
Phillip Blauer: (checking himself in his hand mirror) Hmm? (wasn’t listening) Uh, sounds like a good match. Both competitors could win this one.
Guillermo O’Bannon: But here he will have the MGM Music Hall faithful celebrating in having the first Boston born Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion.
"Rock Club" by Family Jules plays and the MGM Music Hall rocks with boos. Kilroy walks to the ring at a calm pace, wearing jeans and a white Universal Islands of Adventure t-shirt and the Hardkore World Tag Team Championship strapped around his waist
Phillip Blauer: What in God’s name is that shirt?
Guillermo O’Bannon: It’s a competing theme park Universal has.
Phillip Blauer: In America??
Kilroy smiles as fans try to press their upraised middle finger against his face as he walks by them. He points to signs that says “Marty’s Match Is Going To Be Shorter Than A Kilroy Shower”, “Society of the Inbred”, “Kilroy Sucks!”, and “Kilroy Is A Southern Fried Moron”; laughing and giving them the thumbs up
Phillip Blauer: He’s taking all the fun out of this.
Guillermo O’Bannon: It’s pretty hard to get Kilroy down. Instead, he’s seeing this as an honor to be Marty Donovan’s first title defense. He says he’s even proud of him and knew he could do it.
Phillip Blauer: If he isn’t doing all this so he can set Marty up to bash his brains in with a chair, I’m going to vomit. And Marty is a close personal friend of mine. We share a maid.
Kilroy enters the ring and is all smiles, waving as the fans chant “Kilroy Sucks! Kilroy Sucks! Kilroy Sucks!” Kilroy hands the Hardkore World Tag Team Championship to Tommy Milligan and then looks to the entrance way. Evans starts to pace back and forth purposefully
“Sally Maclennane” by The Pogues plays and the fans leap to their feet! Disney’s Marty Donovan walks out in a Boston Red Sox uniform with number 34 on it for Big Papi and the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship is nearly blown back by the ear-splitting pop.
Guillermo O’Bannon: What an ovation for Jeffries Point Marty Donovan! You can barely hear yourself think in here!
Phillip Blauer: I don’t have that problem.
The fans hold up signs that say “Boston Is Marty Country”, “Representing Jeffries Point!!” and “Marty Give Back Walt’s Frozen Corpse!” Marty Donovan stands on the ramp and looks out at the roaring crowd. He nods and takes in the gravity of the moment. He pats the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship and then begins walking to the ring
Phillip Blauer: The locker room leader, the Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion turned a page on the dark reign of Kilroy Evans by banning him from the locker room. No longer is he going to bore the Dutch enhancement guys with stories about sometime he did a razor wire something or other against a Shiro relative.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy walked in just fine this evening.
Phillip Blauer: They weren’t supposed to let him in! What is the point of wrestler court if the guy can just waltz right back in to the locker room? Who’s the locker room county clerk?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tux.
Phillip Blauer: Christ almighty.
A fan puts his arm around Marty and hands him a beer. Marty holds the beer up and the rowdy crowd urges him to drink it. He nods and takes a long drag off the beer as the fans chant “Chug! Chug! Chug!” He bangs his head to “Sally Maclennane” with the beer in his mouth for a while, and then sprays it in the fan’s face! The fan screams at the camera, grateful for the christening
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty says that Kilroy was his friend, but whenever it was time to hunt for glory with the Hardkore World Tag Team Titles or the Frank Marano Jr. Memorial Cup, he would always turn to Andrew Karnage.
Phillip Blauer: All those years, Marty Donovan was right under his nose. Can you imagine how ridiculous he feels now?
A fan stops Marty and goes down on one knee, proposing to his pregnant girlfriend. The audience gasps
hillip Blauer: It looks like this incurable romantic picked the holiest of holy moments in Boston to propose to his sweetheart. A Marty Donovan entrance. I think that’s just dandy.
Marty, impatiently standing in the background awaits her answer. She looks around, unsure. The fan on his knee gulps, as the audience chants “YES! YES! YES!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Uh oh.
The prospective bride looks at Donovan. He gives her a “Why not?” shrug. She bites her lip and contemplates it a little more. Finally, the expecting mother nods in agreement and the fans erupt with glee
Phillip Blauer: I think those two are gonna make it. They’ll always have their fandom of Marty to talk about.
Marty Donovan shakes the newly engaged male fan’s hand as the audience behind them celebrates. He shakes the woman’s hand for a few pumps, and then kisses her right on the mouth, dipping her
Phillip Blauer: Oh…oh my.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wow.
Marty twirls the pregnant fiance’ back to her boyfriend’s arms, then walks to the ring. The man seems untroubled by the whole thing and roots Donovan on
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty says when he saw Kilroy running down to the ring in Phoenix, he thought he was there to save him. Conveniently leaving out that he beat Kilroy down after a match in LA this last August.
Phillip Blauer: He’s still not over that? Do you think Curly got all bent out of shape when Moe caved in his orbital bone with a frying pan for making a wise crack? No. The process is pain.
Marty Donovan gets to the ring and throws his arms up, getting a deafening pip from the Boston faithful. He stands on the second rope and bathes in the ovation
Guillermo O’Bannon: It’s taken 20 years but finally Marty Donovan has a match in Boston. And it’s for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship.
Phillip Blauer: And he gets to put down The Attbury Assassin. What could be better?
The bell rings and a spotlight hits Greg Jin in the center of the ring. Tommy Milligan stands behind him
Greg Jin: “Ladies and Gentleman, this is the Main Event of the Evening!”
The Boston crowd cheers
Greg Jin: “The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Tommy Milligan. Featuring first; Hailing from Attbury, South Carolina; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 245 pounds, Your Boy Kilroy…”
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway drowns Greg out with boos and heckling. Greg waits them out
Greg Jin: “One Half of the HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS…KILROY EVANS!!!”
The boos get louder as Kilroy raises his arm
Greg Jin: “And his opponent, hailing from the Magic Kingdom, in Orlando, Florida. Standing 6 feet and weighing 218 pounds; Representing Disney Plus who asks you to watch The Santa Clauses, premiering on November 16th, He is The Boy From Jeffries Point!”
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway drowns out Greg with a huge pop
Greg Jin: The HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…DISNEY’S MARTY DONOVAN!!”
The audience lets out a thunderous cheer while Marty holds the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship up in the air. Donovan removes the Boston Red Sox uniform to reveal a large bandage on his shoulder
HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
Disney's Marty Donovan vs. Kilroy Evans
Tommy Milligam signals for the bell. Kilroy Evans and Marty Donovan circle one another, looking for an opening
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy and Marty lock up in a collar and elbow tie up. They tussle, jockeying for position.
Kilroy backs Marty into a corner. Marty calls for a clean break, and Tommy Milligan gets in between them
Guillermo O’Bann6on: Kilroy giving Marty a clean break.
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway jeers Kilroy. Marty shakes it off and walks forward, right into a snap mare by Evans
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan rolls to his feet and comes back at Kilroy who catches him with a drop toehold.
Marty covers his nose, and Kilroy picks him up around the waist, then tosses him across the ring with a gut wrench suplex. The audience boos while Kilroy pulls Donovan up into a side headlock
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans transitions into a front facelock on Marty. He locks his hands together and pulls back on Marty’s head and neck. But Marty grabs Kilroy by the legs and lifts him up, dropping him onto his knee with an inverted atomic drop.
The crowd comes to life, as Evans clutches his groin, and Marty Donovan catches him with a frankenstiener!! Marty pumps his fist to get the fans to react
Phillip Blauer: Here we go!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan irish whips him into the ropes and hits him with a high cross body, but Kilroy catches him!
The Boston audience boos as Kilroy walks him around the ring. He finally drops him into a shoulder breaker to that bandaged shoulder
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans going after that shoulder that was stabbed by 2022 End of Days Tournament Winner Zoran Sainovic in Japan. Sainovic went on to win the X Crown from Steve Awesome in Houston. He pulls him up into a side headlock again, and then runs into a bulldog!
The fans boo. Kilroy Evans scoops Donovan up but Marty slips behind him into an inverted facelock
Guillermo O’Bannon: Disney’s Marty Donovan lifts him up into a reverse suplex, then drops his back across his knee with a backbreaker!
Kilroy sits up with his back arched in pain, but barely has a moment to suffer before Marty basement dropkicks him in the face to a big “OH!!” from the crowd. Kilroy covers his face and stomps his heels into the mat in pain
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan pulls him up into a full nelson, plants his feet and drops Kilroy into a bridging dragon suplex!
…ONE!
…Kilroy gets his shoulder up!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty motions for Kilroy to get to his feet, charges, and Kilroy catches him with a belly to belly suplex that tosses him across the ring!
The fans boo as Marty sits up from the impact. Kilroy pulls him up, ties up their legs and pitches forward into an inverted russian leg sweep
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans steps over a sitting Marty’s neck and applies a stump puller. Kilroy pulling up on Donovan’s ankle, putting pressure on the back of his neck
Phillip Blauer: You know who else used a stump puller? Big Bully Busick.
Guillermo O’Bannon: What’s your point?
Phillip Blauer: Only Bullies Use Stump Pullers, kids.
A star graphic comes flying in over Phil’s smiling face
Guillermo O’Bannon: Where’d you get that?
Phillip Blauer: It’s a little thing Danny Valentine Jr. worked on for me.
Guillermo O’Bannon: How much did that cost?
Phillip Blauer: Not much. Unrelated, but catering is a party size bag of Cool Ranch Doritos this evening.
Tommy Milligan checks in but Marty shakes his head. The Boston crowd chants “MARTY!! MARTY!! MARTY!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy pulls him up into a front facelock, but Marty backdrops him over his shoulder. He hits the ropes and catches Evans with a rolling wheel kick!
The MGM Music Hall comes to life! He goes to kick Kilroy, but Evans catches it. Marty swings around with an enzuigiri
Guillermo O’Bannon: Disney’s Marty Donovan goes to the apron, then springboards off the top rope with a front missile dropkick!
Marty Donovan kips up and the crowd applauds. He pulls Kilroy up into a back suplex and rests Evans’ heels on the top rope, then turns around and hits a neckbreaker. Kilroy holds the back of his neck, kicking his toes into the mat in pain
Guillermo O’Bannon: Donovan irish whips Kilroy into the ropes, dips down for a backdrop, but Kilroy catches him looking with a swinging neckbreaker!
The audience boos and Kilroy Evans lifts Marty Donovan up high into a suplex but then drops him on his head with a brainbuster! Donovan rolls onto his stomach and Kilroy Evans sits on his back and applies a camel clutch
Guillermo O’Bannon: Make You Humble!
Phillip Blauer: Not happening, buddy. Not with 4 Desert News Hawk Awards and this honorary doctorate I got from my alma mater Arizona State. (holds it up) This little baby means I can do surgery.
Guillermo O’Bannon: No it doesn’t and please stop telling people that in the locker room.
Phillip Blauer: I’m dirt cheap. I worked on Andrew Karnage and Anjanette Turner most recently. Their rehab…hasn’t been going well.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy locks his hands together under Marty’s chin and peels back his head, putting pressure on his neck.
Kilroy sits on the small of Marty’s back, bending him in half. Tommy Milligan checks in with Donovan, but he shakes his head, refusing to give up. The Boston fans chant “MARTY!! MARTY!! MARTY!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans cranks Marty’s head back and starts biting him!
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway rocks with boos while Tommy Milligan tries to pull Kilroy off of Marty
Phillip Blauer: Disgusting. Obviously, someone didn’t partake in his share of the Cool Ranch Doritos backstage.
Guillermo O’Bannon: No, he did. Milligan finally successful in separating them. Kilroy charges in with a clothesline, but Marty pulls down the top rope and Evans spills out to the floor!
Marty Donovan slingshots himself over the top rope and lands on Kilroy’s shoulders then backflips into a reverse hurricanrana on the floor that pops the crowd. Marty slaps the hands of some of the people reaching over the guardrail towards him
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty now back in the ring and runs into the ropes. He flips over the top rope and strikes Kilroy with a somersault senton!!
Kilroy’s back hit’s the railing, and Marty sails over into the crowd. The chants of “MARTY!! MARTY!! MARTY!!” are now deafening
Guillermo O’Bannon: Disney’s Marty Donovan now pulls Kilroy up and tries to drag him over the guardrail with him out into the first row, but Kilroy headbutts him over and over!
Marty staggers back as the fans give him room. He turns around to escape Kilroy, but Kilroy steps up onto the railing and jumps off with a reverse thez press to his back, driving him facefirst into the concrete
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Piggyback out in the audience! Kilroy pulls Marty’s head into his legs for a piledriver but gets superkicked out of nowhere!!
The camera pulls out to reveal Alexander Von Blankenship in the crowd, standing over a prone Kilroy. The audience explodes with a huge pop, and AVB helps Marty to his feet
Phillip Blauer: We watch each other’s back in The Anointed!
Guillermo O’Bannon: More like you interfere in each other’s matches when the going gets tough.
Phillip Blauer: And what did I say?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Disney’s Marty Donovan now on the apron. He hops onto the middle of the second rope and backflips into an asai moonsault DDT onto Kilroy Evans in the second row!! River City Ransom!
The MGM Music Hall comes unglued as they surround Kilroy and Marty lying amongst the chairs and beer cups. AVB once again helps Marty to his feet, and he pumps his fist into the air
Marty Donovan: “I love DISNEY PLUS!!!”
The fans pat him on the shoulders and back while Marty pulls Kilroy up and tosses him over the railing back into the ringside area. Meanwhile, Alexander Von Blankenship is waiting for them while he sets up a table
Phillip Blauer: (rubbing his hands together) Oh here we go.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Come on, this is two on one. Donovan proving he will go to any length to keep that Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship.
Phillip Blauer: Exactly, it’s the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship and around here the guy with the toughest friends runs the territory.
AVB now loading Kilroy Evans onto that table at ringside while Marty Donovan climbs to the top turnbuckle. The audience gets louder and louder in anticipation
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask runs up the turnbuckles and takes Marty Donovan over into the ring with his double underhook sunset flip tigerbomb!! Moonlight Waltz!
Phillip Blauer: What’s he doing here?? He’s sullying the sanctity of a Hardkore World Championship match!!
The angry Boston crowd hurls insults and jeers at a bandaged Tuxedo Mask as Alexander Von Blankenship looks on in shock at the decimated Marty Donovan. Kilroy Evans sits up on the table
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans hits AVB with a roundhouse kick! He butterflies Von Blankenship’s arms and drops down into a double underhook face breaker on his knee!
Kilroy Evans rolls Alexander Von Blankenship on the table while Tuxedo Mask climbs to the top turnbuckle
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tuxedo Mask flips off the top turnbuckle into a corkscrew moonsault on AVB through the table on the floor!!
The MGM Music hall rocks with boos as Tux lies on top of AVB in the debris of a former table. Kilroy Evans crawls back into the ring and makes the cover on Marty Donovan
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THR- Marty Donovan puts his foot on the bottom rope
Phillip Blauer: Good golly Miss Molly!
The audience pops as Kilroy looks confused for a moment and then sees Marty’s foot on the rope
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans now biting Marty again!
The crowd boos as Marty kicks his legs out in a vain attempt to escape, then finally pushes him away. Donovan staggers to his feet, but Kilroy puts his head under Marty’s chin and drops down into a jawbreaker, then catches his legs and turns him over into a texas cloverleaf
Guillermo O’Bannon: Jawsome! Wait, now Tuxedo Mask has the mic!
Tuxedo Mask: (singing) “Let's get down to business
To defeat the Huns
Did they send me daughters
When I asked for sons?”
Phillip Blauer: What’s he doing to that Mulan song? He’s further torturing Marty while he’s in that Jawsome by mangling a beloved Disney classic! This should be an automatic DQ!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Meanwhile inside the ring, Kilroy Evans sits nearly on the back of Marty’s head, bending him into a U shape.
Tuxedo Mask: (singing) “You're the saddest bunch I ever met
But you can bet before we're through
Mister, I'll make a man out of you!”
The MGM Music Hall drowns Tux out with boos as he leaves
Phillip Blauer: Thank Jehoshaphat that’s over.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans positions himself into a standing version, locks his hands together over Marty’s thigh, cranking back on his twisted legs.
The audience chants “MARTY! MARTY! MARTY!” Meanwhile, Hardkore ringside physician David Valentine Jr. and his team help Alexander Von Blankenship back to the locker room
Phillip Blauer: And they better not let Dr. Dave work on AVB! That young stallion is the future of this business. We don’t need shoddy medical work from a quack taking advantage of the boys in the back.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan pushes off with his hands and crawls over to the side of the ring until he hooks the bottom rope.
The Boston fans pop and Tommy Milligan demands Kilroy Evans break the Jawsome, and Kilroy begrudgingly listens
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans pulls him up into a full nelson and then trips him into a skull crushing finale!
The crowd vehemently boos the Miz finish. Kilroy pulls him up by the hair and irish whips him into the ropes but Marty Donovan comes back with a flying forearm that brings the crowd back to life. Both men lie on the mat next to one another, exhausted
Phillip Blauer: Marty flies through the air with the grace of a gazelle…that flies.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Both men struggling to get to their feet. Marty Donovan grabs him from behind with a rear waistlock and german suplexes him
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Kilroy Evans rolls his shoulder up!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Disney’s Marty Donovan wraps his legs around Kilroy’s leg and drops down into a leg scissors cross knee lock. He clamps down on Kilroy’s knee with his legs while pulling up on his calf with his arms.
Kilroy cries out in pain, reaching out for the ropes. Tommy Milligan is in position, looking for the tap out. The Boston crowd heckles Kilroy, urging him to submit.
Marty Donovan: Come on! Give up so you can stream Disenchanted, the sequel to 2007’s Enchanted on Disney Plus premiering on November 18th.
Phillip Blauer: Ooh. He drives a hard bargain.
Kilroy Evans: N-N--Never!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Donovan twisting Kilroy’s knee, trying to inflict maximum damage. Kilroy crawls over and hooks the bottom rope.
Tommy Milligan calls for the break. Donovan refuses and tries to maintain the leg scissors cross knee lock, so Milligan begins to count
Phillip Blauer: Oh, that rule he enforces.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan finally releases the leg scissors cross knee lock, but only at the last minute.
Marty Donovan asks Tommy what his problem is while Kilroy clutches his knee. After losing the argument when Milligan points to his referee shirt, Marty backs off into the corner. He steps up to the second turnbuckle
Phillip Blauer: I know what’s coming!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Disney’s Marty Donovan hops off with the panama sunrise he calls The Costa Pacifica Sunrise!!
Phillip Blauer: I thought that was going to be a fistdrop, but that’s even better.
Greg Jin: “Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan back on the top turnbuckle and flips into a 450 splash!! Ode to Romero!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Kilroy Evans kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Donovan irish whips Kilroy into the ropes, catches him with a side headlock takedown into a pluma blanca!
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway roars as Marty Donovan locks his legs together around Kilroy’s head and peels back on his trapped arms. Kilroy stomps his heels into the mat in pain
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan rowing back on Evans’ twisted arm and elbow, while keeping his head and neck separated from the rest of his body.
Marty Donovan finally gives up and lifts a spent Kilroy Evans up in an inverted facelock. He lifts Kilroy up into a reverse suplex into a backbreaker
Guillermo O’Bannon: Better Than Cobryn!!
Kilroy flops around the mat like a fish as the fans chant “MARTY!! MARTY!! MARTY!!”. Kilroy backs into a corner, holding his back
Guillermo O’Bannon: Disney’s Marty Donovan charges in with a corner dropkick!
The Boston audience lets out a big “OH!!” Marty follows up with a leg sweep that sinks Kilroy into a sitting position. Marty steps through the ropes out onto the apron
Guillermo O’Bannon: Donovan slingshots himself over the ropes into a corner basement dropkick!!
Phillip Blauer: Sweet Sassy Molassy!
Kilroy rolls around the mat, clutching his face while Marty motions for everyone to get to their feet. He steps out of the ring and waits for Evans to get to his feet
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan slingshots himself onto the middle of the top rope and springboards off into a tornado DDT but Kilroy turns it into a spinebuster!!
The MGM Music Hall at Fenway rocks with boos. The impact pops Kilroy up and then he makes a cover
…ONE!
…TWO!
…Marty Donovan kicks out!
Phillip Blauer: This guy has so much heat with me, the air between us is wavy.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy Evans pulls Marty’s head into his legs and lifts him up into a pulling piledriver, drilling his head into the mat!!
Marty slowly raises to his feet, and the audience is oddly cheering. Kilroy Evans moves in for the kill
Guillermo O’Bannon: Kilroy with The Bad Touch diamond cutter, but Marty pushes him off into a v-trigger by “High Roller” Wesley Crane!!
Phillip Blauer: Jackpot!
The audience rocks with cheers as both Marty Donovan and Kilroy Evans lay prone on the mat with a heavily bandaged Wesley Crane standing over them, soaking in the adulation of the Boston fans
Greg Jin: “Twenty Five Minutes Have Elapsed. 5 Minutes Remaining.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Anointed won’t stop interfering in this match, they will do anything to make sure their leader Marty Donovan keeps his Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship!
Phillip Blauer: Even I, on commentary, have done a lights out performance of not letting Kilroy get over.
Wesley Crane drags a limp Marty over to the laid out Kilroy Evans, but suddenly a bandaged Syberus slides into the ring with rage in his eyes
Phillip Blauer: What’s he doing here?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Wesley Crane cost Syberus the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship in Phoenix, eliminated him from his first Helloween with alot of interference, and he is not letting that happen with Kilroy tonight.
Wesley Crane backs off, trying to calm Syberus down as the fans boo the former Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion
Phillip Blauer: Run, Wes! Run!
“High Roller” Wesley Crane dives through the second rope with Syberus hot on his heels. Crane jumps over the railing to escape through the crowd
Guillermo O’Bannon: Marty Donovan struggles to get to his hands and knees, crawling over to Kilroy Evans…
Suddenly “More Human Than Human” by White Zombie plays and the fans react with confusion
Phillip Blauer: What is that racket? Is Kenny Valentine Jr. on audio playing his playlist on the PA again? We have a match going on, son…
“The Punisher” Dan Stein walks down the aisle and the crowd gasps with shock and boos
Phillip Blauer: What?? It’s…no!
Guillermo O’Bannon: It’s former Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion “The Punisher” Dan Stein!! He’s back!
Marty finally sees Dan Stein walking down to the ring, and blinks in disbelief. Dan stands on the apron and glares at Donovan
Guillermo O’Bannon: Dan Stein has been in The Society of the New Breed since he, Cobryn, and Lucifer Jones re-formed it in 2005, he never forgave Marty for losing his title match against Syberus he got from beating Stein in their Helloween match in 2006, and he looks to be tired of The Anointed and their interference!
Marty drops to his knees and begs for mercy as the hulking Dan Stein seethes with anger over him
Guillermo O’Bannon: “The Punisher” Dan Stein military presses a terrified Marty Donovan over his head!
Greg Jin: “Twenty Nine Minutes Have Elapsed. 1 Minute Remaining.”
Phillip Blauer: Unhand him!
Marty begs to be put down as the fans boo
Guillermo O’Bannon: Dan Stein throws him up in the air and lets him fall face first on…Kilroy?!?
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THREE!
The bell rings and the crowd leaps in celebration as “Sally Maclennane” by The Pogues plays. Marty Donovan looks up in disbelief
Greg Jin: “At 29 minutes 11 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND STILL HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…DISNEY’S MARTY DONOVAN!!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: What? Why did he do that?
Marty Donovan gets up cautiously and looks at Dan Stein who is still giving him that intense stare. Dan’s arms slowly raise at his sides, and Marty goes in for a big hug and the Boston crowd reacts like The Megapowers just shook hands
Guillermo O’Bannon: What??
Phillip Blauer: You failed to mention that Marty and Dan were two time SWAT World Tag Team Champions as the Sun & Pun Connection or some such name.
“The Punisher” Dan Stein lifts Marty on his shoulder like Savage did Elizabeth as Donovan holds the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship. Alexander Von Blankenship slides into the ring
Guillermo O’Bannon: AVB now back in the ring and stomps Kilroy Evans until he falls out of the ring. “High Roller” Wesley Crane has seemingly escaped Syberus and is now in the ring with The Anointed as they celebrate their Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship win, with more interference than I’ve seen in any match in quite a while!
Phillip Blauer: You’re right, Hardkore World is back baby!
Guillermo O’Bannon: See you in Albuquerque!
