The Headline

[Spike Kane]

I find it amusing that someone would expect me to respect who they are, or what fucking “station” they have in life, as if I haven’t seen it all before.

Several times.

We open on a rainy street, the posters, flags, point to this being Liverpool. The wind picks up quite heavily before a circle of fire appears, and Spike Kane steps through, pulling his jacket collar tight around him. He begins to talk, as he walks down the street.

I’ve had more than my fair share of wars with the “aristocracy” but the Von Krauss family? They’re not even worth getting involved with, because underneath it all? Underneath the airs and graces, the minions and man servants, the definitely-a-fetish-kind-of-thing lifestyle?

You’re just a bunch of midcarders begging for attention.

He looks up at the camera and smirks.

Now I know what you’re going to say Armand, I’ve never met anyone like you. I’ve never come across a family like the Von Krauss’, I’m a working class slob who doesn’t know his place - except, the thing is. I do. I know my place because I spent twenty fucking five years earning it. I’m not some rookie you can bully into following your order, I’m not some fresh faced moron who will buy your bullshit and buy into your hype.

I am THE God of Xtreme.

I’ve won more championships than you’ve had victories, period.

See, so many people in this business of ours are “professional wrestlers” who essentially wrestle on the side, whilst they…run a company, play in a band, belong to a cult, stream on twitch…whereas me? I’m a professional wrestler, to my core. I bleed wrestling, and I’ve died for this business. Anything you can think of Armand? I’ve done it.

Shit, I even lead a cult myself.

He cocks his head to the side remembering the Order of Chaos.

So now I find myself doing the one thing I’ve ever been truly exceptional at, fighting, night after night, week after week, show after show. That fine print in those Hell contracts are a motherfucker, eh? Yet I still go, from federation to federation, ego to ego, I do what I was put on this planet to do. I humble people, I push them further than they’ve ever gone, and if they come out the other side? They’re destined to do this, but the vast majority?

Well they fall short.

See I’ve been the measuring stick around the globe for decades. I’m not talking just during this new and fancy XHF Network era, no, I’m talking longer than some of you pricks have even been alive. I’ve done everything I can to plant my name in the forefront of wrestling history, I have captured world title after world title, I have carried companies on my back, I have put my closest friends in hospital, because at the end of the day?

I’m just a nasty motherfucker.

He looks right into the camera with a sick smirk on his face.

I plan on properly introducing myself to you Armand, with the Liverpool crowd in attendance, you’ll be introduced to a true rebel, a real professional wrestler, and someone who is going to make you wish you’d never set foot in the squared circle.

Tiocfaidh ár lá

He throws a fist into the air as he walks around a corner, and in just down the road his destination, a pub.

But then, people like you, you never have time for the common folk, do you? You never have time for the working man, because you have the ignorance to think people are beneath you. You are so blinded by your upbringing and breeding that you don’t realise how disconnected from actual society you are. Armand….I’m going to give you a big dose of reality, and the reality will mostly consist of you realising you’re not on my level. You have the audacity to proclaim you’re the best to do this, and then brag about being a member of some shitty second rate faction, in some shitty second rate federation you cunts still have a racist boner for.

Yeah not me, fuck the lot of you.

You proclaim this, yet….what have you actually done? Like please educate me Armand, enlighten me! Illuminate me and my ignorance, because realistically? Outside of your own little hype party of a faction blowing each other in public everywhere you go?

Nobody fucking cares.

He shakes his head wildly, emphatically on the “nobody” part.

I don’t hear you proclaiming an X*Crown Championship, or even a Call to Arms victory! Nevermind back to back victories, hell, you don’t even have an Oh Violent Night victory to brag about do you? Come to think of it Armand “the greatest in the world”...

What have you ever actually done?

A clown. That’s all we’ve got? That’s the highlight of your fucking life?

You sad bastard.

You’re a sideshow attraction Armand. A freak. A momentary flight of fancy. I’m a legend. A warrior. A man with bonafide evidence of the path of chaos and carnage I have cut through the business known as professional wrestling since 1996. I have led faction after faction to glory, I have lead an Empire, I have lead a Revolution, I have been an Outcast, even The Forgotten, I have been a King, a Tyrant, a God of Steel. Everything I have done, I have done myself, with conviction, with the knowledge and belief in myself and my abilities. I was put here to hurt people Armand, and I’ve become very fucking good at it. So while you proclaim to be the best in the world, I’ll simply remind you….like I do every time my music hits…

I am the Headline.

He points to himself, and smiles broadly, and with that Spike smirks and turns to walk inside Lanigans bar as the wind and rain continue around him, while the sound of music begins to fill the air, and we fade.