Post by fowler on Nov 11, 2022 5:15:03 GMT -5
We’re in the back of an industrial unit in the northern heartlands of England. Billy Fowler stands proud in a brand-new suit, holding his world title. Opposite him stands Rob Riot with the keys to their Ford Cortina in hand.
Fowler kisses the big golden belt before handing it over to Riot who smiles at it before turning and walk off.
“I’ve heard you all. All you marks, all the boys, everyone in management. I’ve heard you all asking where is he? Where have you been Billy Fowler? You’ve been waiting for some kind of word from me following the Battle of Britain.
Well let’s make one bloody thing clear, I AM the world heavyweight champion! I AM Wrestle: UK!
I talk when I want to talk, I address you all when I feel like it.
Do you think I sit at home on my arse all day watching sitcom reruns? Do you think I sit in a basement playing roleplay games? Some of you probably think I just masturbate myself into a near coma. Well you’re fucking wrong. Being a true champion and the face of this company is hard work. I’ve been busy working on getting Wrestle: UK to the next level.
Meanwhile, Donzig has been sat like an overly needy Labrador, fucking panting and drooling for my attention. Desperate for me to take him for a walk!
Well I will take the bitch for a walk, but when I’m ready to.
You’ve got my full attention now though people, so here it is, my address to you all.
Where to start? How about I told you so.
We, The Bastards told you so.
We sat you down on the rug like the children you all are and explained that without us, you’re nothing. We told you all that if things didn’t go the way they were always meant to, the way the very fabric of the universe intended it to, it would be the doom of Wrestle: UK.
And for once, you all actually listened.
Havok, you put up one great fight. I could tell how bad you wanted to keep the title and continue to flaunt that horrible fucking toy belt. Over the past months you have taken me to places that I never thought you would be capable of. But when it came down to it, when you tried to finally kill me, it wasn’t enough. When I walked out of that smoke, emerging like Wrestle: UK’s saviour from the very mouth of hell, the world knew that order had been restored.
You see, like it or not this is the time of the Bastards. Mr Blood might as well retire the tag team titles, as they are never going to leave the waists of Rob Riot and Frank Windsor.
People often like to throw around the term “Belt Collector”. We’re not collecting belts like some nerd with Pokemon cards, we are reclaiming belts and bringing them home.
What do mean?
You see when God created this world, he decided to make three utter Bastards. And into those Bastards he poured every inch of talent, charisma, technical ability, and every other thing both good and evil needed to create the perfect professional wrestlers.
Understand? We were created to be perfection, by our very nature we are just better than every single one of you. So all those titles belts out there, every one both new and old are destined for us. Without knowing it they were created to be ours. Because perfection calls to perfection.
Frank will win this tournament and Rob will add his nice new TV title belt onto the Cortina. And then Riot will take what was stolen from him. “
Fowler pauses for a moment of thought.
“We’re gonna need a bigger car…”
He laughs before retuning to his previous train of thought.
“I know what you’re thinking, “Yeah we’ll show these pricks, we’ll win those belts off of them” and of course I applaud you for thinking such a way. It’s very noble to think that you too could be a champion and to desire greatness.
But there is an unfortunate reality that awaits you all if you pursue this path. That reality is that we will never be defeated, we will never die! Many people thought they could stop The Bastards but they all failed, fuck… even we tried to end it! The three of us beating the life out of each other was just about enough to silence us for a little while, but even then, we just came back stronger.
Our perfection is inevitable.
So bow before your kings Wrestle: UK. Bow and worship us as the gods, monsters, perfection that we truly are.
Donzig.
You will be the first to take the knee.”
Fowler kisses the big golden belt before handing it over to Riot who smiles at it before turning and walk off.
“I’ve heard you all. All you marks, all the boys, everyone in management. I’ve heard you all asking where is he? Where have you been Billy Fowler? You’ve been waiting for some kind of word from me following the Battle of Britain.
Well let’s make one bloody thing clear, I AM the world heavyweight champion! I AM Wrestle: UK!
I talk when I want to talk, I address you all when I feel like it.
Do you think I sit at home on my arse all day watching sitcom reruns? Do you think I sit in a basement playing roleplay games? Some of you probably think I just masturbate myself into a near coma. Well you’re fucking wrong. Being a true champion and the face of this company is hard work. I’ve been busy working on getting Wrestle: UK to the next level.
Meanwhile, Donzig has been sat like an overly needy Labrador, fucking panting and drooling for my attention. Desperate for me to take him for a walk!
Well I will take the bitch for a walk, but when I’m ready to.
You’ve got my full attention now though people, so here it is, my address to you all.
Where to start? How about I told you so.
We, The Bastards told you so.
We sat you down on the rug like the children you all are and explained that without us, you’re nothing. We told you all that if things didn’t go the way they were always meant to, the way the very fabric of the universe intended it to, it would be the doom of Wrestle: UK.
And for once, you all actually listened.
Havok, you put up one great fight. I could tell how bad you wanted to keep the title and continue to flaunt that horrible fucking toy belt. Over the past months you have taken me to places that I never thought you would be capable of. But when it came down to it, when you tried to finally kill me, it wasn’t enough. When I walked out of that smoke, emerging like Wrestle: UK’s saviour from the very mouth of hell, the world knew that order had been restored.
You see, like it or not this is the time of the Bastards. Mr Blood might as well retire the tag team titles, as they are never going to leave the waists of Rob Riot and Frank Windsor.
People often like to throw around the term “Belt Collector”. We’re not collecting belts like some nerd with Pokemon cards, we are reclaiming belts and bringing them home.
What do mean?
You see when God created this world, he decided to make three utter Bastards. And into those Bastards he poured every inch of talent, charisma, technical ability, and every other thing both good and evil needed to create the perfect professional wrestlers.
Understand? We were created to be perfection, by our very nature we are just better than every single one of you. So all those titles belts out there, every one both new and old are destined for us. Without knowing it they were created to be ours. Because perfection calls to perfection.
Frank will win this tournament and Rob will add his nice new TV title belt onto the Cortina. And then Riot will take what was stolen from him. “
Fowler pauses for a moment of thought.
“We’re gonna need a bigger car…”
He laughs before retuning to his previous train of thought.
“I know what you’re thinking, “Yeah we’ll show these pricks, we’ll win those belts off of them” and of course I applaud you for thinking such a way. It’s very noble to think that you too could be a champion and to desire greatness.
But there is an unfortunate reality that awaits you all if you pursue this path. That reality is that we will never be defeated, we will never die! Many people thought they could stop The Bastards but they all failed, fuck… even we tried to end it! The three of us beating the life out of each other was just about enough to silence us for a little while, but even then, we just came back stronger.
Our perfection is inevitable.
So bow before your kings Wrestle: UK. Bow and worship us as the gods, monsters, perfection that we truly are.
Donzig.
You will be the first to take the knee.”
