Post by Dave D-Flipz on Nov 23, 2022 9:46:25 GMT -5
Sarah: *Peering into the other room* FIRE!
Mistress Discipline: Death Trap, is everything okay?
Death Trap: *from off screen* OF COURSE! I’M A PROFESSIONAL!
Death Trap: I’m telling you guys, it’ll be fine! I know exactly what I’m doing!
*We open up in an Airbnb, Top of the Class is stationed here for their journey to Canada where the tag titles are on the line in the X-Mansion. Death Trap is standing, halfway through the door to the kitchen, holding a bag of groceries and yelling out to his cohorts in the living room.*
Dr. Chaos: X to doubt!
Death Trap: Seriously, I don’t understand why you ladies are so hung up on this. We need a meal, we have groceries, there’s no take out anywhere reliably close to this place that Chaos reserved for us, and I … am an ITALIAN!
*All three ladies begin to snicker, Mistress hides her mouth behind a hand, but her manager and the teenager present are less discreet.*
Mistress Discipline: I respect your heritage, but you are American. And neither has influence on your ability to cook.
Dr. Chaos: I dunno, Mistress. I say let him try, can’t be worse than the street food we had back in Thailand.
*Sarah pats her mother on the shoulder*
Sarah: Bathroom?
Death Trap: An unfortunate stain on an otherwise reasonable experience. But this is different. You trust me to command things in the ring, so why not trust me here? Cooking is in my blood! Just because I stopped when I had the concussion issues doesn’t mean I’ve lost my edge. All my pre-Network skills have come back and THEN some, why wouldn’t cooking?
Mistress Discipline: *weirdly loudly* I AM SURE EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! … I look forward to tasting your meat, Death Trap.
*Everyone stands tense for a moment before DT smiles and ducks into the kitchen. He shouts back*
Death Trap: You know we didn’t buy enough meat. I’m making PASTA!
*Mistress’s head drops in disappointment.*
Dr. Chaos: *Under her breath* You ARE the wet noodle.
*Death Trap sits in front of a camera in the living room of his Airbnb. He holds in his hand a bowl. We can’t see inside of it. A spoon handle juts out the top.*
Death Trap: My dear Mr. Ishimori, Mr. Arakawa … I hope this evening finds you well. What a combustible set of ingredients we have in this pot. Seems ripe for the fire to grow out of control … if we let it.
*He chuckles to himself and lifts the spoon, revealing some delicious gelato in a bowl. Wait, that's not combustible...*
Death Trap: Chaos is as chaotic as we allow it to be, gentlemen. And trust me when I say, my partner and I are no strangers to reining in chaos. Both regular and proper noun varieties.
*He rolls his eyes and eats another spoonful*
Death Trap: But I question where this all went so wrong for you both. What drove you to take the actions you take nowadays? It’s a far cry from the men you were before. It’s not like you didn’t both have success, like you needed a change to bring about the victories you desired. I know sometimes, this is the case, but … as you said … you both held titles. Raiden you were a challenger for the X*Crown, a top star, for three global shows. You almost won the dang belt. And now … you both held the lower and mid card titles in your home fed and the tag titles. It’s a very respectable accomplishment but … no different than before you forsook everything you stood for.
*He takes another bite and looks quizzically at the camera*
Death Trap: I get it, the allure of the top title. I know it burns you that I never got to defend that title in MCCW. I know that it hurts that you got so close and didn’t win it. I have been around long enough for that to have been me … many times over. And, for what it’s worth, I too tried to be what I thought would win me glory. But it didn’t. It just made everyone hate me … and bury me under eight men.
Mistress Discipline: *From off-screen* OH NO! DO NOT RANT ABOUT THAT AGAIN! ON-TOPIC MISTER!
Death Trap: *coughing* Yes, well … anyway. You want to be an X*Crown champion. You want to be a global tag team champion. You want to be a hall of famer. And this is the next step on that path. But you don’t see this as a contest of skill that you intend to best us at. You look at this as taking something from us. Something you believe we don’t deserve. That we aren’t on your level, somehow. I try to ignore my foes’ promos until the show but something you said is relevant. I’m just a washed up shame, right?
*He raises an eyebrow … and then lifts up his global tag title. He looks over his shoulder at the replica X*Crown he carries with him to denote his reign in the network era, hung on the wall. He raises his other hand with the SCCW Hall of Fame ring.*
Death Trap: Hmm, would that we all could be such washed up shames…
*beat*
Death Trap: I know it isn’t the popular opinion, but you CAN be a legend without being an unrepentant asshole to people. You can do it while being yourself. I suppose the question is, is this the real you? Did it really take the threat of the yakuza to make you a decent person, Raiden? Cuz I’ll be honest, you both are plenty talented, you didn’t need to swerve this hard. The world doesn’t need more edgelords. I’d hate to think that a pair of men I respected, were secretly the dregs of humanity this entire time.
*More gelato*
Death Trap: Lemee break this down for you both. You guys earned the right to this title match, that is not in doubt. What is? Your ability to overcome the best tag team in the business. How do you handle a TRULY unified pair, who understand the ins and outs of each other and our abilities? How do you stop this machine from flattening you in the gears? From chewing you up and swallowing you whole? Well for one, dirty tactics don’t track with us. We’ve overcome scoundrels at every turn. And nobody has the endurance we have, you will need to EARN this victory. And if you lose? To a washed up shame, and an apparent never-was? What does that make you? What does that say about your home fed? I think you need to be more careful with the insults you bandy about. They may end up biting you in the ass when we beat your asses clean in the ring, make you tap out.
*more gelato*
Death Trap: The point is, eventually, you reap what you sow. And Top of the Class? Well we aim to deliver you your just desserts!
*He gulps down a huge blob of gelato off his spoon … and then grabs at his head and the bridge of his nose.*
Death Trap: GAH FUCK! BRAIN FREEZE!
Mistress Discipline: *from off screen* I shall grab the hot coffee.
Dr. Chaos: *Off-screen* I’m on my way to point and laugh!
Sarah: *Runs in with a camera app open on her phone* Tik-Tok!
Mistress Discipline: Of course I am concerned. I am always concerned. But this is something we have to do. It is not about the defense, we need to show Raiden that not only have I improved, but that we have improved!
Dr. Chaos: You are not the same wrestler you were in MCCW, it’s obvious that you’ve improved.
*DT peaks his head out*
Death Trap: Not only have you improved, we’ve both held titles and beaten some of the most impressive wrestlers in XHF! We truly are the top of the class, in all we do. Be it in the ring, on the mic, or … IN THE KITCHEN!
*Smoke puffs out the door over his head. He sniffs the air, looks concerned and bolts back into the kitchen. Sarah leaps from the couch, ignoring the hockey game on the TV, and peaks into the kitchen.*
Sarah: *Peering into the other room* FIRE!
Mistress Discipline: Death Trap, is everything okay?
Death Trap: *from off screen* OF COURSE! I’M A PROFESSIONAL!
Mistress Discipline: It just seems things are getting a little chaotic in that kitchen, do you need assistance?
Dr. Chaos: Eh, he’s used to dealing with Chaos. *She turns to Mistress* What good are YOU in the kitchen?
Mistress Discipline: I am good at … pouring! I shall have you know I make a fine cereal!
Death Trap: *peaking his head back out over the top of Sarah, who continues to gaze into the kitchen* DO NOT WORRY! It is all under control. I am an expert at dealing with adversity, sticking with things well past when a normal man would give up, and making gold out of nothing. Or in this case flaming noodles.
Dr. Chaos: How DID you set noodles on fire … while boiling them in water?
Sarah: Talent!
Death Trap: Yes, well, the oil I put on top of the water to break surface tension so the pot wouldn’t boil over … uh … boiled over onto the stove and ignited the parts of the spaghetti not yet in the water. It’s fine, it’s like that mid-match point where you really need to tag out. I’m the most effective at finding my way in or out of the match depending on the legal wrestler.
Dr. Chaos: Are you trying to tag out, Death Trap?
*He p-shaw’s her and goes back into the kitchen. A few tense minutes pass. The ladies on the couch continue to shoot each other concerned glances. Until…*
Death Trap: OUT OF THE KITCHEN!
*Sarah scampers out of the kitchen holding her foot where DT presumably stepped on it, stashing her phone in her pocket. She slowly turns around and creeps back to the kitchen door. She stands in the threshold, not quite in the room, and leans in.*
Death Trap: HEY!
Sarah: OUTSIDE! *She points to the location of her feet*
Dr. Chaos: … I mean all in all I think he handled that well …
*A loud crash is heard in the kitchen.*
Mistress Discipline: You were saying?
Death Trap: I’M OKAY! Someone put a bunch of pots on top of the stuff I needed.
*A few more tense minutes pass and DT eventually emerges with four bowls. In each bowl is a VERY handsome looking spaghetti dish with oil, black pepper, and lots of parmesan.*
Death Trap: CACIO E PEPE IS HERE! VOILA! *he says voy-la*
Mistress Discipline: Wow that looks wonderful, and smells even better!
Dr. Chaos: Oh, a pasta dish with fancy cheese! This is so … Italian?
Sarah: FANCY MAC AND CHEESE!
*Sarah slurps up half the bowl in one go. She makes agreeable noises. MMMM and Yummmm*
Death Trap: WHAT? NO! This is not simply mac and cheese! This is cacio e pepe! A traditional Italian dish!
Mistress Discipline: And It is delicious! I am truly shocked!
Dr. Chaos: Yes tasty fancy mac and cheese, great job dear.
Death Trap: But! But! … but …
Mistress Discipline: We are very proud of you! One more thing top of the class is exceptional at.
Dr. Chaos: Yes … so proud! Fancy Mac and Cheese.
Death Trap: *sigh* Fancy mac and cheese…
*They devour it and look ahead to devouring the Sons of Loki*
Mistress Discipline: Death Trap, is everything okay?
Death Trap: *from off screen* OF COURSE! I’M A PROFESSIONAL!
Roughly 20 minutes earlier:
Death Trap: I’m telling you guys, it’ll be fine! I know exactly what I’m doing!
*We open up in an Airbnb, Top of the Class is stationed here for their journey to Canada where the tag titles are on the line in the X-Mansion. Death Trap is standing, halfway through the door to the kitchen, holding a bag of groceries and yelling out to his cohorts in the living room.*
Dr. Chaos: X to doubt!
Death Trap: Seriously, I don’t understand why you ladies are so hung up on this. We need a meal, we have groceries, there’s no take out anywhere reliably close to this place that Chaos reserved for us, and I … am an ITALIAN!
*All three ladies begin to snicker, Mistress hides her mouth behind a hand, but her manager and the teenager present are less discreet.*
Mistress Discipline: I respect your heritage, but you are American. And neither has influence on your ability to cook.
Dr. Chaos: I dunno, Mistress. I say let him try, can’t be worse than the street food we had back in Thailand.
*Sarah pats her mother on the shoulder*
Sarah: Bathroom?
Death Trap: An unfortunate stain on an otherwise reasonable experience. But this is different. You trust me to command things in the ring, so why not trust me here? Cooking is in my blood! Just because I stopped when I had the concussion issues doesn’t mean I’ve lost my edge. All my pre-Network skills have come back and THEN some, why wouldn’t cooking?
Mistress Discipline: *weirdly loudly* I AM SURE EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! … I look forward to tasting your meat, Death Trap.
*Everyone stands tense for a moment before DT smiles and ducks into the kitchen. He shouts back*
Death Trap: You know we didn’t buy enough meat. I’m making PASTA!
*Mistress’s head drops in disappointment.*
Dr. Chaos: *Under her breath* You ARE the wet noodle.
45 MINUTES LATER
*Death Trap sits in front of a camera in the living room of his Airbnb. He holds in his hand a bowl. We can’t see inside of it. A spoon handle juts out the top.*
Death Trap: My dear Mr. Ishimori, Mr. Arakawa … I hope this evening finds you well. What a combustible set of ingredients we have in this pot. Seems ripe for the fire to grow out of control … if we let it.
*He chuckles to himself and lifts the spoon, revealing some delicious gelato in a bowl. Wait, that's not combustible...*
Death Trap: Chaos is as chaotic as we allow it to be, gentlemen. And trust me when I say, my partner and I are no strangers to reining in chaos. Both regular and proper noun varieties.
*He rolls his eyes and eats another spoonful*
Death Trap: But I question where this all went so wrong for you both. What drove you to take the actions you take nowadays? It’s a far cry from the men you were before. It’s not like you didn’t both have success, like you needed a change to bring about the victories you desired. I know sometimes, this is the case, but … as you said … you both held titles. Raiden you were a challenger for the X*Crown, a top star, for three global shows. You almost won the dang belt. And now … you both held the lower and mid card titles in your home fed and the tag titles. It’s a very respectable accomplishment but … no different than before you forsook everything you stood for.
*He takes another bite and looks quizzically at the camera*
Death Trap: I get it, the allure of the top title. I know it burns you that I never got to defend that title in MCCW. I know that it hurts that you got so close and didn’t win it. I have been around long enough for that to have been me … many times over. And, for what it’s worth, I too tried to be what I thought would win me glory. But it didn’t. It just made everyone hate me … and bury me under eight men.
Mistress Discipline: *From off-screen* OH NO! DO NOT RANT ABOUT THAT AGAIN! ON-TOPIC MISTER!
Death Trap: *coughing* Yes, well … anyway. You want to be an X*Crown champion. You want to be a global tag team champion. You want to be a hall of famer. And this is the next step on that path. But you don’t see this as a contest of skill that you intend to best us at. You look at this as taking something from us. Something you believe we don’t deserve. That we aren’t on your level, somehow. I try to ignore my foes’ promos until the show but something you said is relevant. I’m just a washed up shame, right?
*He raises an eyebrow … and then lifts up his global tag title. He looks over his shoulder at the replica X*Crown he carries with him to denote his reign in the network era, hung on the wall. He raises his other hand with the SCCW Hall of Fame ring.*
Death Trap: Hmm, would that we all could be such washed up shames…
*beat*
Death Trap: I know it isn’t the popular opinion, but you CAN be a legend without being an unrepentant asshole to people. You can do it while being yourself. I suppose the question is, is this the real you? Did it really take the threat of the yakuza to make you a decent person, Raiden? Cuz I’ll be honest, you both are plenty talented, you didn’t need to swerve this hard. The world doesn’t need more edgelords. I’d hate to think that a pair of men I respected, were secretly the dregs of humanity this entire time.
*More gelato*
Death Trap: Lemee break this down for you both. You guys earned the right to this title match, that is not in doubt. What is? Your ability to overcome the best tag team in the business. How do you handle a TRULY unified pair, who understand the ins and outs of each other and our abilities? How do you stop this machine from flattening you in the gears? From chewing you up and swallowing you whole? Well for one, dirty tactics don’t track with us. We’ve overcome scoundrels at every turn. And nobody has the endurance we have, you will need to EARN this victory. And if you lose? To a washed up shame, and an apparent never-was? What does that make you? What does that say about your home fed? I think you need to be more careful with the insults you bandy about. They may end up biting you in the ass when we beat your asses clean in the ring, make you tap out.
*more gelato*
Death Trap: The point is, eventually, you reap what you sow. And Top of the Class? Well we aim to deliver you your just desserts!
*He gulps down a huge blob of gelato off his spoon … and then grabs at his head and the bridge of his nose.*
Death Trap: GAH FUCK! BRAIN FREEZE!
Mistress Discipline: *from off screen* I shall grab the hot coffee.
Dr. Chaos: *Off-screen* I’m on my way to point and laugh!
Sarah: *Runs in with a camera app open on her phone* Tik-Tok!
WHERE WE CAME IN-
Mistress Discipline: Of course I am concerned. I am always concerned. But this is something we have to do. It is not about the defense, we need to show Raiden that not only have I improved, but that we have improved!
Dr. Chaos: You are not the same wrestler you were in MCCW, it’s obvious that you’ve improved.
*DT peaks his head out*
Death Trap: Not only have you improved, we’ve both held titles and beaten some of the most impressive wrestlers in XHF! We truly are the top of the class, in all we do. Be it in the ring, on the mic, or … IN THE KITCHEN!
*Smoke puffs out the door over his head. He sniffs the air, looks concerned and bolts back into the kitchen. Sarah leaps from the couch, ignoring the hockey game on the TV, and peaks into the kitchen.*
Sarah: *Peering into the other room* FIRE!
Mistress Discipline: Death Trap, is everything okay?
Death Trap: *from off screen* OF COURSE! I’M A PROFESSIONAL!
Mistress Discipline: It just seems things are getting a little chaotic in that kitchen, do you need assistance?
Dr. Chaos: Eh, he’s used to dealing with Chaos. *She turns to Mistress* What good are YOU in the kitchen?
Mistress Discipline: I am good at … pouring! I shall have you know I make a fine cereal!
Death Trap: *peaking his head back out over the top of Sarah, who continues to gaze into the kitchen* DO NOT WORRY! It is all under control. I am an expert at dealing with adversity, sticking with things well past when a normal man would give up, and making gold out of nothing. Or in this case flaming noodles.
Dr. Chaos: How DID you set noodles on fire … while boiling them in water?
Sarah: Talent!
Death Trap: Yes, well, the oil I put on top of the water to break surface tension so the pot wouldn’t boil over … uh … boiled over onto the stove and ignited the parts of the spaghetti not yet in the water. It’s fine, it’s like that mid-match point where you really need to tag out. I’m the most effective at finding my way in or out of the match depending on the legal wrestler.
Dr. Chaos: Are you trying to tag out, Death Trap?
*He p-shaw’s her and goes back into the kitchen. A few tense minutes pass. The ladies on the couch continue to shoot each other concerned glances. Until…*
Death Trap: OUT OF THE KITCHEN!
*Sarah scampers out of the kitchen holding her foot where DT presumably stepped on it, stashing her phone in her pocket. She slowly turns around and creeps back to the kitchen door. She stands in the threshold, not quite in the room, and leans in.*
Death Trap: HEY!
Sarah: OUTSIDE! *She points to the location of her feet*
Dr. Chaos: … I mean all in all I think he handled that well …
*A loud crash is heard in the kitchen.*
Mistress Discipline: You were saying?
Death Trap: I’M OKAY! Someone put a bunch of pots on top of the stuff I needed.
*A few more tense minutes pass and DT eventually emerges with four bowls. In each bowl is a VERY handsome looking spaghetti dish with oil, black pepper, and lots of parmesan.*
Death Trap: CACIO E PEPE IS HERE! VOILA! *he says voy-la*
Mistress Discipline: Wow that looks wonderful, and smells even better!
Dr. Chaos: Oh, a pasta dish with fancy cheese! This is so … Italian?
Sarah: FANCY MAC AND CHEESE!
*Sarah slurps up half the bowl in one go. She makes agreeable noises. MMMM and Yummmm*
Death Trap: WHAT? NO! This is not simply mac and cheese! This is cacio e pepe! A traditional Italian dish!
Mistress Discipline: And It is delicious! I am truly shocked!
Dr. Chaos: Yes tasty fancy mac and cheese, great job dear.
Death Trap: But! But! … but …
Mistress Discipline: We are very proud of you! One more thing top of the class is exceptional at.
Dr. Chaos: Yes … so proud! Fancy Mac and Cheese.
Death Trap: *sigh* Fancy mac and cheese…
*They devour it and look ahead to devouring the Sons of Loki*
