Post by robriot on Dec 5, 2022 16:31:11 GMT -5
Teddy Quince sighs. He’s on the steps of Usher Hall, microphone in hand, waiting in hope for one of the stars of the Wrestle:UK roster to show up. He’s impeccably well-dressed, as he always is, but he looks tense. He knows there’s a lot riding on this. It’s been several months since he got called up by the promotion.
Honestly, it was almost like people had forgotten he even existed.
An expensive-looking car stops near the steps of the arena, and the door opens outwards. Teddy leans forward in anticipation. He doesn't know much about obnoxiously-expensive looking cars, but he knows that anyone driving one - or, rather, being driven in one - in Edinburgh is likely to be a football player or a wrestler, and there's no reason for a football player to be anywhere near Usher Hall this weekend. It has to be a wrestler, surely?
Oh. It is.
Teddy Quince swallows nervously as all his wildest dreams and worst nightmares walk towards him at once. He should have been careful what he wished for. It’s Rob Riot. The Riot Star spots Teddy on the steps and immediately notices his nervous disposition, practically bouncing up the concrete staircase to meet him and clapping him on the shoulders like he’s greeting an old friend.
Riot: Teddy! Teddy bear! Teddy boy Teddington! How's tricks? How's stuff? I haven't seen you in an age, have you got a girlfriend yet? Does your mum let them sleep over, or do you have to send them home before nine so they're not there past bedtime? Or am I barking up the wrong tree with "girlfriend?"
Quince does his level best to ignore everything he was just asked and addresses his cameraman instead.
Quince: Hello Wrestle:UK fans, this is Teddy Quince reporting from the Usher Arena, where we’re gearing up for Legacy number ten, Edinburgh Explosion. I’m joined by Rob Riot…
Riot takes exception to this.
Riot: “Joined?” Did I join you for something? Are you trying to interview me? Did I give you permission to interview me?
Somewhat feebly, Teddy gestures towards the camera and then points to his microphone.
Teddy: Well, I…it's just…I mean…my job, and I kinda need this. I mean, I don't mind the hospital radio gig, but…
Riot: Ask for permission to interview me.
Teddy: Can I interview you?
Riot: No. Politely. Ask to interview me, politely.
Teddy: Please can I interview you?
Riot: Mister Riot. Call me Mister Riot.
Teddy clears his throat, feeling approximately two feet tall.
Teddy: Can I interview you please, Mister Riot?
Rob Riot’s voice had been dropping lower with every objection, becoming borderline threatening, but now it snaps back to its normal tone, cheerful but brimming with insincerity.
Riot: Of course you can, Tedward! Fire away my dear chap; what's on your mind?
Teddy Quince looks visibly relieved and composes himself.
Teddy: We’ve heard from you. We’ve heard from Eron Hunter. You claim you had Hunter beaten decisively before Ronnie Long interfered in your last Commonwealth Championship match. Hunter says you’re underestimating him, and he’d have kicked out. What do you make of that?
Riot shakes his head. Very slowly, he raises both of his fists and clenches them tightly, bringing them up to Quince’s jawline.
Riot: Teddy, do you know what it’s like to be in there with a guy who’s full of adrenaline? Do you know what it’s like to fight someone who has fight-or-flight coursing through every vein in their body? Someone so tense that every muscle feels hard enough to shatter a knife if you tried to stab them?
Quince, looking down at Riot’s fists instead of across to his interviewee, has a quiver in his voice when he replies.
Teddy: No, sir, I do not.
Riot: No. You don't. Because you've never been in the ring. So let me tell you. If you wrestle long enough, you'll get to know an opponent by touch. Doesn't matter which opponent - the human body always works the same way. It tenses up, and then you hammer it, and you hammer it, and you hammer it, and you hammer it until eventually, you feel it break, and all the tension….
Riot unclenches his fists and drops his hands, and Teddy audibly breathes out in relief.
Riot: …all the tension disappears. It evaporates. The body goes limp, and they're done. When I hit Eron Hunter with the Riot Rack, he went limp. He was done. That's not arrogance; that's a fact. I felt it then, and I'll feel it again at Legacy Ten. Now, do you have any other questions?
Quince is still trying to get his breath back. He goes to respond, but Riot beats him to it.
Riot: Do I have a message for Ronnie Long? Excellent question Teddy; I'm glad you asked it. You're good at this. Ronnie Long. You and I have been around pro wrestling long enough to know that the grapevine always talks. The word on the grapevine right now is that you have a little boo-boo, and mummy isn't around to kiss it better. I don't know whether that's true or not, but if you do, and you bring it in that ring, I'll sniff it out like a dog sniffing a cadaver. I'll find it, and I'll target it and break it. It looks like everybody wants you at the moment, Ronnie. I hear DiMaria isn't too happy with you, either. Sucks to be you, I guess. Maybe I'll give her a call. Maybe I'll serve you up on a plate to her when I'm done with you. Maybe I'll even give her the first shot at the Commonwealth Championship after I win it and cut you out of the picture. Or maybe I'll just cut you, full stop. Hey, Teddy?
Teddy: Yes?
Riot: I think we’re done here. Hold the door for me, will you?
Teddy: I'm an interviewer. That's kind of demeaning.
Riot stares at Teddy. Teddy, somewhat awkwardly, clambers backwards up the steps and holds the door open for Riot to pass through it. Riot smiles at him and ruffles his hair, then disappears into the building.
A somewhat shame-faced Teddy Quince signs off.
Teddy: This is Teddy Quince, bringing you the interviews that matter. Back to you guys in the studio.
Honestly, it was almost like people had forgotten he even existed.
An expensive-looking car stops near the steps of the arena, and the door opens outwards. Teddy leans forward in anticipation. He doesn't know much about obnoxiously-expensive looking cars, but he knows that anyone driving one - or, rather, being driven in one - in Edinburgh is likely to be a football player or a wrestler, and there's no reason for a football player to be anywhere near Usher Hall this weekend. It has to be a wrestler, surely?
Oh. It is.
Teddy Quince swallows nervously as all his wildest dreams and worst nightmares walk towards him at once. He should have been careful what he wished for. It’s Rob Riot. The Riot Star spots Teddy on the steps and immediately notices his nervous disposition, practically bouncing up the concrete staircase to meet him and clapping him on the shoulders like he’s greeting an old friend.
Riot: Teddy! Teddy bear! Teddy boy Teddington! How's tricks? How's stuff? I haven't seen you in an age, have you got a girlfriend yet? Does your mum let them sleep over, or do you have to send them home before nine so they're not there past bedtime? Or am I barking up the wrong tree with "girlfriend?"
Quince does his level best to ignore everything he was just asked and addresses his cameraman instead.
Quince: Hello Wrestle:UK fans, this is Teddy Quince reporting from the Usher Arena, where we’re gearing up for Legacy number ten, Edinburgh Explosion. I’m joined by Rob Riot…
Riot takes exception to this.
Riot: “Joined?” Did I join you for something? Are you trying to interview me? Did I give you permission to interview me?
Somewhat feebly, Teddy gestures towards the camera and then points to his microphone.
Teddy: Well, I…it's just…I mean…my job, and I kinda need this. I mean, I don't mind the hospital radio gig, but…
Riot: Ask for permission to interview me.
Teddy: Can I interview you?
Riot: No. Politely. Ask to interview me, politely.
Teddy: Please can I interview you?
Riot: Mister Riot. Call me Mister Riot.
Teddy clears his throat, feeling approximately two feet tall.
Teddy: Can I interview you please, Mister Riot?
Rob Riot’s voice had been dropping lower with every objection, becoming borderline threatening, but now it snaps back to its normal tone, cheerful but brimming with insincerity.
Riot: Of course you can, Tedward! Fire away my dear chap; what's on your mind?
Teddy Quince looks visibly relieved and composes himself.
Teddy: We’ve heard from you. We’ve heard from Eron Hunter. You claim you had Hunter beaten decisively before Ronnie Long interfered in your last Commonwealth Championship match. Hunter says you’re underestimating him, and he’d have kicked out. What do you make of that?
Riot shakes his head. Very slowly, he raises both of his fists and clenches them tightly, bringing them up to Quince’s jawline.
Riot: Teddy, do you know what it’s like to be in there with a guy who’s full of adrenaline? Do you know what it’s like to fight someone who has fight-or-flight coursing through every vein in their body? Someone so tense that every muscle feels hard enough to shatter a knife if you tried to stab them?
Quince, looking down at Riot’s fists instead of across to his interviewee, has a quiver in his voice when he replies.
Teddy: No, sir, I do not.
Riot: No. You don't. Because you've never been in the ring. So let me tell you. If you wrestle long enough, you'll get to know an opponent by touch. Doesn't matter which opponent - the human body always works the same way. It tenses up, and then you hammer it, and you hammer it, and you hammer it, and you hammer it until eventually, you feel it break, and all the tension….
Riot unclenches his fists and drops his hands, and Teddy audibly breathes out in relief.
Riot: …all the tension disappears. It evaporates. The body goes limp, and they're done. When I hit Eron Hunter with the Riot Rack, he went limp. He was done. That's not arrogance; that's a fact. I felt it then, and I'll feel it again at Legacy Ten. Now, do you have any other questions?
Quince is still trying to get his breath back. He goes to respond, but Riot beats him to it.
Riot: Do I have a message for Ronnie Long? Excellent question Teddy; I'm glad you asked it. You're good at this. Ronnie Long. You and I have been around pro wrestling long enough to know that the grapevine always talks. The word on the grapevine right now is that you have a little boo-boo, and mummy isn't around to kiss it better. I don't know whether that's true or not, but if you do, and you bring it in that ring, I'll sniff it out like a dog sniffing a cadaver. I'll find it, and I'll target it and break it. It looks like everybody wants you at the moment, Ronnie. I hear DiMaria isn't too happy with you, either. Sucks to be you, I guess. Maybe I'll give her a call. Maybe I'll serve you up on a plate to her when I'm done with you. Maybe I'll even give her the first shot at the Commonwealth Championship after I win it and cut you out of the picture. Or maybe I'll just cut you, full stop. Hey, Teddy?
Teddy: Yes?
Riot: I think we’re done here. Hold the door for me, will you?
Teddy: I'm an interviewer. That's kind of demeaning.
Riot stares at Teddy. Teddy, somewhat awkwardly, clambers backwards up the steps and holds the door open for Riot to pass through it. Riot smiles at him and ruffles his hair, then disappears into the building.
A somewhat shame-faced Teddy Quince signs off.
Teddy: This is Teddy Quince, bringing you the interviews that matter. Back to you guys in the studio.