Post by Steve Awesome on Dec 18, 2022 23:05:23 GMT -5
“Wow…
“You try to be nice to someone….”
“Give them some credit when no one else in this company would…”
“Now I gotta come strong arm a ho.”
“This is not a ho in the sense of having a pussy”
“But a pussy having no goddamn sense to try and push me”
“I tried to ignore 'em, talk to the Lord”
“Pray for 'em, 'cause some fools just love to perform”
“You know the type, loud as a motorbike”
“But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight…..”
REIGN
X’ed Out in Hatley”
11/30/2022
A flicker and the lights come back on to the surprise of everyone, it’s the Murder Lizard Jesse Jamester standing opposite of Steve Awesome at the top of the ladder!
Fletcher: This can’t be!
Block: But it is! That leash Donzig has on this man, mutant, monster, all of the above – it’s just come to REIGN!
A handful of the movie star’s hair is grabbed as JJ headbuttes Steve once and then takes two punches to the mask that he shrugs off. The fresh man had nearly fifty pounds on Awesome and a few inches as he smashes Steve’s face off the top of the ladder and hooks him in a suplex, lifting him up and dropping off the side of the ladder!
Block: JESTERPLEX TO AWESOME!
We fade into the trainers office as he checks on Steve Awesome after the attack from Jesse Jamester. The trainer pokes and attempts to rotate his notorious bad shoulder and Steve winces in pain as he does so.
“Does any of this hurt?”
Steve just glares at him.
“Only when I breathe….”
The trainer takes the hint and lets go of Steve’s sore limb. Steve coddles his whole arm and massages his shoulder with his free hand.
“Yeah, looks like Jesse really did a number on the shoulder.”
Steve rolls his eyes.
“Oh gee, do ya think?”
Steve hops off the trainer table and carefully puts his shirt back on.
“The question is, what in the hell was he even doing here!”
“From what I understand, he’s in cahoots with Donzig.”
Steve just scoffs and shakes his head.
“Oh great, so Donzig has himself a lap lizard? A hench-reptile if you will….that’s cool…”
Steve chuckles to himself as he reaches into his bag and pulls out a pair of sunglasses and slides them onto his face.
“Then I guess I have to whip that green sumbitch’s ass too…on top of everything else.”
Suddenly, a stage hand popped their head into the door.
“Excuse me Steve. It looks like El Combatiente is out at ringside recruiting Zoran Sainovic into Team Kanyon. I just figured you should know.”
“WHAT!? AWH COME ON!!”
Steve face palms with his good arm.
“Ugghhhh I’ll be right there!”
Steve starts to rant as he heads for the door.
“First civil wargames, then the Murder Lizard gots beef, now EC wants to go recruit the guy who tried to murder me. It’s too many things…”
“Don't forget about Donzig.”
The trainer said just before Steve left to head back to the ringside. Steve poked his head back in.
“Man, fuck Donzig….”
~
I got ninety nine problems but a bitch ain’t one…
Hit me!
~
~
STEVE AWESOME
FACE OF THE FRANCHISE
First off Donzig…”
Steve Awesome stands in front of the camera with that confident aura shining off him.
“I don’t remember actually giving you a choice in the matter.”
He shakes his head.
“See when I told you that you were the top guy and that I was taking over you didn’t get to refute it. It doesn’t matter that my partner wasn’t up to his normal standards and you needed a giant murder Lizard to stop me from winning at X’d Out anyway. This is my show now, you are just too stupid to realize that it’s already happening around you.
Steve smirks.
“To be honest, I only called Donzig a top guy here in REIGN, because I was just trying to set up my “I’m the captain now” joke. In reality all he is, is the guy who showed up on the first day. Which is a pretty typical move for Donzig since he shows up to any show he can desperately looking for spotlight scraps and the ounce of respect he thinks he deserves.
“REIGN started out as the Donzig and EVK show.”
Steve itched his arm and glanced into the camera in disgust.
“I think I got scabies, just mentioning that combo out loud.”
“But it was their show because that's all REIGN had at the time. That’s like saying Government Cheese tastes the best because that’s all you can afford. And if anything, wouldn’t EVK technically be the top person since she won the king of the world and beat Donzig? And since I beat her clean in the middle a few months ago that would make me top guy by wrestling logic alone.”
Steve shrugs.
“Even if Donzig was top guy material. He’d sure be a shitty representative of REIGN by going around to all these other feds on the network and losing on their shows. I mean, top guys are exclusive big stars. They are supposed to be draws. What’s so big about Donzig on a REIGN show when I just saw him counting the lights on three other shows earlier in the month.”
Steve slowly shakes his head.
“No, Donzig doesn’t represent REIGN. He doesn’t represent me or any of the people that buy a ticket or watch on the Network. He’s a bottom feeding scum bag leech. He’s a charisma vacuum. He’s the type of guy that will lose every big match and every title opportunity and then turn around and bitch and moan that he’s getting passed over and not getting any opportunities.”
“Donzig is just a guy who was here on the first day. He came around hoping that this would finally be his ticket to the big time.”
Steve smirks.
“But the same thing happens here that happens to Donzig everytime…someone better came along.”
Steve waves into the camera.
“Me baby.”
He dusts off his shoulder.
“A real top guy. Someone that knows a little something about brand loyalty. Sure I’ve made a cameo or two, but you’ll only see me wrestle exclusively on REIGN shows and the Global shows where I represent them very well. I low key went from End of Days 21 to End of Days 22 without getting defeated in big matches. Not uhhh, not counting the rumble of course.”
He clears his throat.
“I went out and brought the XCrown home. I didn’t sit around with my clone girlfriend thing and cry about not getting a shot. I went out and I earned it. And most importantly….”
Steve pulled his sunglasses off and gave the camera a charming smile.
“I’m just overall much more attractive and generally a lot more fun to be around.”
He flips his perfect hair.
“Meanwhile Donzig is kind of a douchebag and his head looks like a testicle with a neckbeard.”
Steve winces at the image in his head.
“I know you want to hurt me. But that’s the thing Donzig, you say that to all the boys. You want to hurt everyone. You are the empty threat machine, baby. But here’s the real deal….”
Steve runs a palm through his hair and then glares into the camera.
“This match is about the Battle of Hegemony and getting into the XCrown match at Supremacy. You are stepping into a world above your weight class. I’m going to walk into that shopping mall and I’m going to beat your ass so bad Donzig, that Santa is gonna have to make a third list called “do not deliver” just for me.
I’m going to beat you and leave you lying just like I did to you at last year's End of Days finals. I’m sure Eli will like that.
I’m going to deck the halls with your middle tier, over-saturated, choke artist ass, till baby New Year shows up to pull me off of you.
Steve pulls his sunglasses down and gives a little wink. Steve holds up an index finger.
“Oh, and I hope you feel just as scared and vulnerable as you did at X’d Out Donzig, and you bring the Lap Lizard Jesse Jamester along with you again. Because after I’m done whipping your ass and putting you back into your place and smacking you with a whole Christmas elf….That big green bastard you got on a leash is going to find out exactly why I’m the Face of the Franchise, too.”
Steve pounds a fist into his palm.
“Then I’ll go to Hegemony and represent REIGN in the Xtraction match. Because that’s just what top guys do. Then when I bring the crown home, maybe if you shut up and stop being a little bitch, I’ll give you a title shot.
Peace sign.
“Top guy out.”
Crotch chop.
Fade.