Post by Oh-Oh on Dec 19, 2022 11:21:22 GMT -5
We open inside Liam Beesley's Newcastle condo in the heart of the city. When he walks through the front door, he finds Oxford Osland stretchered out on his sectional couch with bits of popcorn littered all over. Osland doesn't acknowledge Liam's presence until he aggressively clears his throat. Undeterred, Osland chuckles at the television program he's watching.
Osland: "This culture needs me more than I could've ever imagined."
Liam shuffles forward to get a closer look. At which point, we hear the catchphrase of the program which Osland mouth's the words to simultaneously.
"Geordie Shore, Wey-Aye!"
Beesley looks on with great confusion.
Osland: "Liam, I'm absolutely 'buzzin' knowing you're here now mate."
The confusion mounts.
Beesley: "Turn the telly off..."
Osland: "Can't do it bruv. I'm days away from becoming the undisputed leader of Britain and I need to be able to socialize with my people."
Beesley walks over and snatches the remote out of Osland's hand.
Beesley: "Turn that rubbish off."
Osland: "Mate, I googled best TV shows and this one was one of the most popular between the 18-40 demographic."
Beesley: "Stop calling me mate."
Osland: "That's an absolute belter Liam. You know, you've always had good crack. So like, when you're crackin' on, I can start crackin' too so we can crack together..."
Liam has no words.
Osland: "I was confused for awhile there, because the only crack I've heard about is the street candy that gets you locked up. But over on this side of the pond, 'Good Crack' is a compliment...a state of mind...a way of life."
Liam shudders but decides to correct the misguided young man.
Beesley: "It's Craic..."
Osland: "What is?"
Liam is starting to lose his patience.
Osland: "You look like you could use a drink of water. There are bottles over there in the fridge, Innit..."
Liam yanks Osland off of the couch.
Osland: "Was it something I said? I was under the impression that Innit was sort of like Fuggedaboutit!
Liam lets go of the vice grip he had on Osland's collar and decides to head towards the fridge.
Osland: "You know, you can use it to describe things, locations or a state of mind all by using different inflections."
Beesley: "So this is what you've been doing all day?"
Osland: "I've been studying, just like you asked me to. But I must say, watching these 'fannies' get absolutely 'Mortal' is both entertaining and terrifying all at the same time."
Beesley: "I can't be bothered continuing this any further."
Osland: "Deep down in that cold heart of yours you're telling me that you aren't the least bit happy that I'm doing my best to connect with you.
Liam segue's into something that's much more relevant.
Beesley: Let's not forget why you're here and what Gus has set out for you and others."
Osland: "The irony of this situation isn't lost on me. Gus Arnold brought us together to snuff out any and all comers that have had a hand in bastardizing the sport of professional wrestling. Look no further than a style of wrestling that crept into our profession that is single-handedly responsible for the downfall of the credibility that traditionalists from Gus' era worked so hard to build. The same traditions that we've been tasked with reviving in the face of a desensitized audience that only pop when someone leaves bloodied or on a stretcher. Then, and only then do they feel as though they've gotten their money's worth."
The disdain is clear. Beesley fights the urge to to speak, as he prefers that his change gets all of this off of his chest.
Osland: "The crux of our professional was once about elevating mat-wrestling by using technique. A closed fist strike would lead to a disqualification, as it would be deemed unsportsmanlike-like and unprofessional. But now? We have a laundry list of people who have snuck into the backdoor of our sport and sullied it with their brand of garbage."
"Extreme this..."
"Hardcore that..."
Osland scoffs.
Osland: "The wrestling recession stems from these parasites latching themselves to a sport built off the back of the technician. For over a hundred years, we were the ones who brought eyes to the sport. The outlaw mud-show bullshit that masquerades around our business in plain sight deceiving our viewers into believing that their pain tolerance and reckless nature is on-par disgusts me. It disgusts my colleagues, and it disgusts our mentor. We've made absolutely no bones about the fact that we're here to clean up professional wrestling with the ambition to return it to where it used to be. By hook, or by crook - that is what we'll do. Once we're satisfied, then and only then will we ride off into the sunset having left our sport in a better place than where we found it."
Beesley: "Are you finished?"
Osland is fired up.
Osland: "Pillars by definition are designed to stabilize and support the weight of a structure. Using that logic, you might think the same would hold true in our sport. Instead, all I see are four unoriginal hacks who think they're being 'cheeky' by using a guise that was bestowed upon four workhorses that positively shaped the direction of our sport for the past three decades."
Liam's eyebrows raise.
Osland: "Spike Kane stands between me and my throne. Based on what I've seen from him thus far, he's most comfortable conjuring his false bravado from the acts of his past. His latest exchanges with his opponents were as much akin to a bunch of water buffalos wallowing around in a swamp.... slinging mud at one and other and calling it art."
Osland pauses briefly.
Osland: "I've seen it a thousand times Liam. The ones who bark the loudest, or have the inherent need to pump their own tires at nauseam - are the very ones who lack confidence. Unless you're Frank Windsor, everyone knows exactly who I am and what I'm about."
"Now that's good crack."
[Cut.]
Osland: "This culture needs me more than I could've ever imagined."
Liam shuffles forward to get a closer look. At which point, we hear the catchphrase of the program which Osland mouth's the words to simultaneously.
"Geordie Shore, Wey-Aye!"
Beesley looks on with great confusion.
Osland: "Liam, I'm absolutely 'buzzin' knowing you're here now mate."
The confusion mounts.
Beesley: "Turn the telly off..."
Osland: "Can't do it bruv. I'm days away from becoming the undisputed leader of Britain and I need to be able to socialize with my people."
Beesley walks over and snatches the remote out of Osland's hand.
Beesley: "Turn that rubbish off."
Osland: "Mate, I googled best TV shows and this one was one of the most popular between the 18-40 demographic."
Beesley: "Stop calling me mate."
Osland: "That's an absolute belter Liam. You know, you've always had good crack. So like, when you're crackin' on, I can start crackin' too so we can crack together..."
Liam has no words.
Osland: "I was confused for awhile there, because the only crack I've heard about is the street candy that gets you locked up. But over on this side of the pond, 'Good Crack' is a compliment...a state of mind...a way of life."
Liam shudders but decides to correct the misguided young man.
Beesley: "It's Craic..."
Osland: "What is?"
Liam is starting to lose his patience.
Osland: "You look like you could use a drink of water. There are bottles over there in the fridge, Innit..."
Liam yanks Osland off of the couch.
Osland: "Was it something I said? I was under the impression that Innit was sort of like Fuggedaboutit!
Liam lets go of the vice grip he had on Osland's collar and decides to head towards the fridge.
Osland: "You know, you can use it to describe things, locations or a state of mind all by using different inflections."
Beesley: "So this is what you've been doing all day?"
Osland: "I've been studying, just like you asked me to. But I must say, watching these 'fannies' get absolutely 'Mortal' is both entertaining and terrifying all at the same time."
Beesley: "I can't be bothered continuing this any further."
Osland: "Deep down in that cold heart of yours you're telling me that you aren't the least bit happy that I'm doing my best to connect with you.
Liam segue's into something that's much more relevant.
Beesley: Let's not forget why you're here and what Gus has set out for you and others."
Osland: "The irony of this situation isn't lost on me. Gus Arnold brought us together to snuff out any and all comers that have had a hand in bastardizing the sport of professional wrestling. Look no further than a style of wrestling that crept into our profession that is single-handedly responsible for the downfall of the credibility that traditionalists from Gus' era worked so hard to build. The same traditions that we've been tasked with reviving in the face of a desensitized audience that only pop when someone leaves bloodied or on a stretcher. Then, and only then do they feel as though they've gotten their money's worth."
The disdain is clear. Beesley fights the urge to to speak, as he prefers that his change gets all of this off of his chest.
Osland: "The crux of our professional was once about elevating mat-wrestling by using technique. A closed fist strike would lead to a disqualification, as it would be deemed unsportsmanlike-like and unprofessional. But now? We have a laundry list of people who have snuck into the backdoor of our sport and sullied it with their brand of garbage."
"Extreme this..."
"Hardcore that..."
Osland scoffs.
Osland: "The wrestling recession stems from these parasites latching themselves to a sport built off the back of the technician. For over a hundred years, we were the ones who brought eyes to the sport. The outlaw mud-show bullshit that masquerades around our business in plain sight deceiving our viewers into believing that their pain tolerance and reckless nature is on-par disgusts me. It disgusts my colleagues, and it disgusts our mentor. We've made absolutely no bones about the fact that we're here to clean up professional wrestling with the ambition to return it to where it used to be. By hook, or by crook - that is what we'll do. Once we're satisfied, then and only then will we ride off into the sunset having left our sport in a better place than where we found it."
Beesley: "Are you finished?"
Osland is fired up.
Osland: "Pillars by definition are designed to stabilize and support the weight of a structure. Using that logic, you might think the same would hold true in our sport. Instead, all I see are four unoriginal hacks who think they're being 'cheeky' by using a guise that was bestowed upon four workhorses that positively shaped the direction of our sport for the past three decades."
Liam's eyebrows raise.
Osland: "Spike Kane stands between me and my throne. Based on what I've seen from him thus far, he's most comfortable conjuring his false bravado from the acts of his past. His latest exchanges with his opponents were as much akin to a bunch of water buffalos wallowing around in a swamp.... slinging mud at one and other and calling it art."
Osland pauses briefly.
Osland: "I've seen it a thousand times Liam. The ones who bark the loudest, or have the inherent need to pump their own tires at nauseam - are the very ones who lack confidence. Unless you're Frank Windsor, everyone knows exactly who I am and what I'm about."
"Now that's good crack."
[Cut.]