Post by Dylan on Dec 21, 2022 0:51:46 GMT -5
(side note - this CD takes place before the CD in Spike's RP. For obvious reasons)
Are you for real?
Kitchen table. Dylan sits in shorts and a tank top, a bowl of cereal sitting in front of him. The spoon is held in his hand with electricity crackling as he stares at Antonio, a full suit and a phone in his hand. The other hand is over the receiver.
Antonio: As real as can be. Spike is on the line, and he's got a proposition for you.
Dylan drops the spoon and holds his hand out with a grunt. Antonio deposits the phone in his hand and quickly escapes to the other room, not daring to stir the pot with an angered Daemon. Dylan holds the phone to his ear, a scowl nearly searing into Spike cross-dimensionally.
Spike Kane: Hey man, how're you doing?
Dylan: Spare the formalities, Spike. What do you want?
Spike: Easy dude. I just had an idea, that's all. I'm sure you're aware of the thrilling saga of the BANG! Bros imploding, well now we're having a big fight settling our differences and all. I was wondering if you'd like to... realign the Pillars and kick Kanyon and Steve's teams?
A quick sigh escapes Dylan's lips.
Dylan: Really? You were the one who tore the Pillars apart and crossed the line in the sand! Have you now realized the grass isn't always greener on the other side? That the Bros, especially Steve, are a bunch of fucking cunts who deserve every bit of shit slung at them?
Spike puts his hands up defensively. Not that Dylan could see it.
Spike: Okay I admit, maybe that wasn't the best call in retrospect. I made some wrong decisions and didn't do things how I should have. And now I guess I'm here, asking for your help.
Dylan's hand clenches around the phone before he takes a deep breath.
Dylan: There was a LOT of trusts lost when you chose the Bros over us. And you took PRICE with you. I can look past a lot of shit you've done to me but... fuck, you're really trying to coerce me with another chance to kick Steve's ass?
Spike: There's a long list but I think we can fit you in.
Dylan: ... fuck, if I say yes there is a BIG favor I'm gonna need from you.
Spike: I, uh... fuck. A favor? Name it.
Dylan: Not here, not now. As long as you can follow up for my favor I'm in.
A hell portal opens up to Dylan's right and Spike walks through, a massive grin on his face as he extends his arms.
Spike: Awesome bro! I just have one question. Have you ever tried playing a bard?
Oh Violent Night, how I've missed you... is what I would say if I wasn't constantly fighting for my life in J-RoK and every global event I get trotted out to. But it's that time of the year once again when violence gets glorified by thousands of adoring, yet unappreciative fanboys. But man these events just keep getting bigger and bigger! Civil wargames, where 12 of the most uncivil workers are going to beat each other senseless for a chance at bragging rights. Who is the best sub-division in the BANG! Bros?.. no seriously, this is just a massive dick-measuring contest and I am only in it to get a favor for later.
Dylan shrugs.
But while I'm here in this match I may as well get some payback for MONTHS and MONTHS of shit from everyone in this match. Starting with the biggest, ugliest douche in the room. Steve fricken Awesome... I am really sick of having to see you prancing around the main events of every event that the XHF hosts because you are by far the smallest draw in this match. You have been a fucking THORN in my side for over a year, since almost last Christmas' Oh Violent Night. For all of 2022, I have had to work every match one-armed because you thought you deserved to have my fucking arm. Well, guess what? I adapted. I evolved. I can violently wrestle circles around you while you're moping about which side character in your soap opera dramas gets gutted in your place. WHY WON'T STEVE AWESOME JUST DIE ALREADY? I am glad that this event is no elimination because I am going to fucking enjoy flaying you within an inch of your life, you fucking rat.
And speaking of Rats, it's fitting you find yourself in bed with the biggest rat of them all. I don't have a quarrel with you Rat, other than you being a massive prick for standing next to Steve. I thought we had a good thing going but Bastards are gonna be Bastards. You and the Crinkly Bottom Boys are just casualties in the crossfire because of who you choose to stand with. Lay with dogs, get fleas. Lay with sinners, and pay for their sins.
He folds his arm and squints his eyes.
After the cunts comes the cool kids. The guys who, honestly I have no problems with. Kanyon, you and I go way back and I'm excited to spend another night roughing each other up on the floor.
Dylan winks. If you know you know.
Combatiente, I think you and I have avoided facing off for so long and I am ready to see which of us is the better wrestler. I know it's me, but I want to truly test myself against someone admirable like you. Zoran... look man, I am pissed you beat me in the race to kick Steve's ass, but that's behind us! I am ready to put on a good show with you and wrestle to our heart's contents! And Harry, you drunk fool. I don't know what nursing home Kanyon pulled you from but bro you need to go back where you came from because the foundation you laid as the grand champion of Hardcore? You're a shell of your former self and maybe in your prime I'd have been excited to see you against me in the ring... but you're washed up, you're sad and mostly drunk. Frankly, you're an old dog asking to be put down.
Dylan quickly counts on his fingers.
The cunts, the alright guys and the Pillars. There's a lot to say about the Pillars. Fuck you Spike for taking the Hardcore title, though as long as it's in your hands I know it's safe. Fuck you PRICE for being a blind follower and laying with the dogs. And fuck you Jesse for letting Donzig beat you in the Hardcore title tournament. I hate all of you, but it's that hate that forms a hell of a bond that the other teams don't have. They don't have that experience we do setting the world ablaze. It takes a fucking army to beat the Pillars, and by god it'll take even more then that to kill us. And if any of our opponents want to beat us, they'll have to kill us first.
Double middle fingers. Double fade to black.
Dylan shrugs.
But while I'm here in this match I may as well get some payback for MONTHS and MONTHS of shit from everyone in this match. Starting with the biggest, ugliest douche in the room. Steve fricken Awesome... I am really sick of having to see you prancing around the main events of every event that the XHF hosts because you are by far the smallest draw in this match. You have been a fucking THORN in my side for over a year, since almost last Christmas' Oh Violent Night. For all of 2022, I have had to work every match one-armed because you thought you deserved to have my fucking arm. Well, guess what? I adapted. I evolved. I can violently wrestle circles around you while you're moping about which side character in your soap opera dramas gets gutted in your place. WHY WON'T STEVE AWESOME JUST DIE ALREADY? I am glad that this event is no elimination because I am going to fucking enjoy flaying you within an inch of your life, you fucking rat.
And speaking of Rats, it's fitting you find yourself in bed with the biggest rat of them all. I don't have a quarrel with you Rat, other than you being a massive prick for standing next to Steve. I thought we had a good thing going but Bastards are gonna be Bastards. You and the Crinkly Bottom Boys are just casualties in the crossfire because of who you choose to stand with. Lay with dogs, get fleas. Lay with sinners, and pay for their sins.
He folds his arm and squints his eyes.
After the cunts comes the cool kids. The guys who, honestly I have no problems with. Kanyon, you and I go way back and I'm excited to spend another night roughing each other up on the floor.
Dylan winks. If you know you know.
Combatiente, I think you and I have avoided facing off for so long and I am ready to see which of us is the better wrestler. I know it's me, but I want to truly test myself against someone admirable like you. Zoran... look man, I am pissed you beat me in the race to kick Steve's ass, but that's behind us! I am ready to put on a good show with you and wrestle to our heart's contents! And Harry, you drunk fool. I don't know what nursing home Kanyon pulled you from but bro you need to go back where you came from because the foundation you laid as the grand champion of Hardcore? You're a shell of your former self and maybe in your prime I'd have been excited to see you against me in the ring... but you're washed up, you're sad and mostly drunk. Frankly, you're an old dog asking to be put down.
Dylan quickly counts on his fingers.
The cunts, the alright guys and the Pillars. There's a lot to say about the Pillars. Fuck you Spike for taking the Hardcore title, though as long as it's in your hands I know it's safe. Fuck you PRICE for being a blind follower and laying with the dogs. And fuck you Jesse for letting Donzig beat you in the Hardcore title tournament. I hate all of you, but it's that hate that forms a hell of a bond that the other teams don't have. They don't have that experience we do setting the world ablaze. It takes a fucking army to beat the Pillars, and by god it'll take even more then that to kill us. And if any of our opponents want to beat us, they'll have to kill us first.
Double middle fingers. Double fade to black.
