Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal
Dec 22, 2022 11:12:38 GMT -5
Visit Neom and Anthony Jordan like this
Post by "The High Roller" Wesley Crane on Dec 22, 2022 11:12:38 GMT -5
The scene opens up inside the Syracuse Mall in Upstate New York. The entire mall is decorated for Christmas, filled with wreaths, ribbons and one large Christmas tree in the center of the mall. In front of the tree sits a jolly old man in a Santa suit. There is a long line of children, all ages, waiting to sit on Santa’s lap, in hopes to tell him what they want for Christmas. In walks “The High Roller” Wesley Crane with a large coffee in hand… but he’s not alone. Today he’s walking with wrestling admirer and Christmas legend, Macaulay Culkin who also has a large coffee in hand.
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “I can’t believe I let you convince me to come to this dreaded mall.”
Macaulay Culkin: “Oh come on, Wesley. Tis the season to be jolly. Enjoy our time together, friend. In a couple of weeks you’ve got one of the biggest matches of your career against Billy Fowler.”
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “Ugh, don’t remind me.”
Macaulay Culkin: “What’s the matter, are you worried?”
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “No, not worried, just ugh. I have lost interest in William Fowler. I’m already looking forward to my first title defense.”
Macaulay Culkin: “You’re that confident that you’ll win?”
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “We’ll all be lucky if he even shows up. I’ve never seen a more lazy champion in my life.”
Macaulay Culkin: “I can agree with that, but what happens if he does show up? He’s a damn good wrestler.”
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “Eh, let him try to defeat me. Everyone is so busy talking about how I need to beat Fowler, but nobody stops to question how will Fowler beat me?”
Macaulay Culkin: “He does have the champion's advantage going his way. He technically doesn’t need to beat you, you need to beat him to win the championship.”
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “Eh, I’m not worried about that. One “In The Face” and he’s done. Nobody kicks out of that move.”
Macaulay Culkin: “Especially old ladies named Edna.”
Wesley gives Macaulay a smirk.
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “Especially old ladies named Edna.”
Suddenly Wesley’s phone rings. The tune “Let It Go” from Disney’s Frozen is playing. Macaulay gets a shit eating grin on his face.
Macaulay Culkin: “Nice ringtone, Sally.”
Wesley shoots him a dirty look.
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “It’s Marty.”
Wesley answers the phone.
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “Hey Marty, I’m Christmas shopping with my good friend Macaulay. (pause) Yes, THAT Macaulay. (pause) Okay, I’ll tell him. I’ll talk to you later.”
Wesley pushes a button on his phone to hang up. He places his phone back in his pocket.
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “Marty wanted me to tell you The Santa Clause is a better movie than Home Alone.”
Macaulay Culkin: “Yeah, okay, whatever he says. So seriously, back to Fowler… You say you aren’t concerned about the match with Fowler. Aren’t you even a little concerned about The Bastards getting involved? They seem to get involved in all of Fowler’s matches.”
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “They get involved because they know he can’t win by himself. But to answer your question, no, I’m not concerned about The Bastards.”
Macaulay Culkin: “Hey, let’s go talk with this Santa.”
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “You want to talk with Santa? That seems a little fucked up, doesn’t it? You’re a grown ass man.”
Macaulay Culkin: “Nah, let me take the lead.”
Wesley just shakes his head. I mean, he’s got nothing better to do…
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “Ah fuck it. Let’s go.”
As they get closer to Santa, Santa’s little helping elf speaks up to the children.
Elf (Not Will Ferrell): “Alright kiddo’s, Santa needs to take his mandated 15 minute break. Please feel free to continue waiting in line and Santa will make sure he gets to talk with all of you.”
Santa stands up and says a couple of things to his elf. He then starts walking away in the direction of Wesley and Macaulay. As he gets closer, Macaulay speaks up.
Macaulay Culkin: “Ho, Ho, Ho, Santa.”
Santa: “Ho, Ho, Hooooly crap, is that you?”
Wesley and Macaulay both get grins on their faces. It’s funny to hear Santa slip up and talk out of character.
Macaulay Culkin: “Yes, it’s really me.”
Santa: “You’re a Christmas Icon for crying out loud. How are you doing? Are you ready for Christmas?”
Macaulay Culkin: “Hey, thanks for the kind words. Yeah, I’m ready for Christmas.”
Santa: “Good. Who is this with you?”
Macaulay gets a grin on his face.
Macaulay Culkin: “You don’t know who this is?”
Santa: “No, I’m sorry, I don’t.”
Wesley is quickly annoyed and throws his hot coffee in Santa’s face. Santa grabs his face and bends over screaming.
Santa: “Oh my God, it’s so hot. Why would you do tha-”
Before Santa can say anything else, he is met with an “In The Face” that knocks him flat out cold. The children have all watched this and are screaming and crying. The little elf, not much bigger than 4 feet tall, comes rushing over but before the little elf can say anything he too, is met with an “In The Face” from Wesley. Wesley stands up and looks at Santa.
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal.”
Macaulay Culkin: “Hey, that’s my line.”
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “At New Year’s Brawl, William doesn’t stand a chance.”
Macaulay Culkin: “You’ve got this, man.”
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “There’s not a snowball's chance in hell that William beats Wesley Crane. In fact, he’ll be lucky if he isn’t taken out of the arena in an ambulance. At New Year’s Brawl, I do exactly what I’ve been saying I’m going to do. I’m going to walk in there, kick Fowler’s goofy ass and then leave as the new Wrestle:UK World Champion.”
Macaulay gives Wesley a fist bump as the scene ends.
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “I can’t believe I let you convince me to come to this dreaded mall.”
Macaulay Culkin: “Oh come on, Wesley. Tis the season to be jolly. Enjoy our time together, friend. In a couple of weeks you’ve got one of the biggest matches of your career against Billy Fowler.”
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “Ugh, don’t remind me.”
Macaulay Culkin: “What’s the matter, are you worried?”
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “No, not worried, just ugh. I have lost interest in William Fowler. I’m already looking forward to my first title defense.”
Macaulay Culkin: “You’re that confident that you’ll win?”
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “We’ll all be lucky if he even shows up. I’ve never seen a more lazy champion in my life.”
Macaulay Culkin: “I can agree with that, but what happens if he does show up? He’s a damn good wrestler.”
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “Eh, let him try to defeat me. Everyone is so busy talking about how I need to beat Fowler, but nobody stops to question how will Fowler beat me?”
Macaulay Culkin: “He does have the champion's advantage going his way. He technically doesn’t need to beat you, you need to beat him to win the championship.”
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “Eh, I’m not worried about that. One “In The Face” and he’s done. Nobody kicks out of that move.”
Macaulay Culkin: “Especially old ladies named Edna.”
Wesley gives Macaulay a smirk.
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “Especially old ladies named Edna.”
Suddenly Wesley’s phone rings. The tune “Let It Go” from Disney’s Frozen is playing. Macaulay gets a shit eating grin on his face.
Macaulay Culkin: “Nice ringtone, Sally.”
Wesley shoots him a dirty look.
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “It’s Marty.”
Wesley answers the phone.
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “Hey Marty, I’m Christmas shopping with my good friend Macaulay. (pause) Yes, THAT Macaulay. (pause) Okay, I’ll tell him. I’ll talk to you later.”
Wesley pushes a button on his phone to hang up. He places his phone back in his pocket.
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “Marty wanted me to tell you The Santa Clause is a better movie than Home Alone.”
Macaulay Culkin: “Yeah, okay, whatever he says. So seriously, back to Fowler… You say you aren’t concerned about the match with Fowler. Aren’t you even a little concerned about The Bastards getting involved? They seem to get involved in all of Fowler’s matches.”
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “They get involved because they know he can’t win by himself. But to answer your question, no, I’m not concerned about The Bastards.”
Macaulay Culkin: “Hey, let’s go talk with this Santa.”
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “You want to talk with Santa? That seems a little fucked up, doesn’t it? You’re a grown ass man.”
Macaulay Culkin: “Nah, let me take the lead.”
Wesley just shakes his head. I mean, he’s got nothing better to do…
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “Ah fuck it. Let’s go.”
As they get closer to Santa, Santa’s little helping elf speaks up to the children.
Elf (Not Will Ferrell): “Alright kiddo’s, Santa needs to take his mandated 15 minute break. Please feel free to continue waiting in line and Santa will make sure he gets to talk with all of you.”
Santa stands up and says a couple of things to his elf. He then starts walking away in the direction of Wesley and Macaulay. As he gets closer, Macaulay speaks up.
Macaulay Culkin: “Ho, Ho, Ho, Santa.”
Santa: “Ho, Ho, Hooooly crap, is that you?”
Wesley and Macaulay both get grins on their faces. It’s funny to hear Santa slip up and talk out of character.
Macaulay Culkin: “Yes, it’s really me.”
Santa: “You’re a Christmas Icon for crying out loud. How are you doing? Are you ready for Christmas?”
Macaulay Culkin: “Hey, thanks for the kind words. Yeah, I’m ready for Christmas.”
Santa: “Good. Who is this with you?”
Macaulay gets a grin on his face.
Macaulay Culkin: “You don’t know who this is?”
Santa: “No, I’m sorry, I don’t.”
Wesley is quickly annoyed and throws his hot coffee in Santa’s face. Santa grabs his face and bends over screaming.
Santa: “Oh my God, it’s so hot. Why would you do tha-”
Before Santa can say anything else, he is met with an “In The Face” that knocks him flat out cold. The children have all watched this and are screaming and crying. The little elf, not much bigger than 4 feet tall, comes rushing over but before the little elf can say anything he too, is met with an “In The Face” from Wesley. Wesley stands up and looks at Santa.
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal.”
Macaulay Culkin: “Hey, that’s my line.”
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “At New Year’s Brawl, William doesn’t stand a chance.”
Macaulay Culkin: “You’ve got this, man.”
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: “There’s not a snowball's chance in hell that William beats Wesley Crane. In fact, he’ll be lucky if he isn’t taken out of the arena in an ambulance. At New Year’s Brawl, I do exactly what I’ve been saying I’m going to do. I’m going to walk in there, kick Fowler’s goofy ass and then leave as the new Wrestle:UK World Champion.”
Macaulay gives Wesley a fist bump as the scene ends.
