Post by Dave D-Flipz on Jan 12, 2023 23:34:28 GMT -5
“DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATED!!”
*It’s quiet. … So quiet. Peaceful. Peaceful and quiet. A little TOO peaceful and quiet … We find ourselves staring at a locked door into the sanctum sanctimonious. Doof has locked himself inside and hasn’t come out since Norm began kissing everyone under the mistletoe and failed to destroy the other teams with his missile toes. Downstairs we hear a garage door open into the evil chemical laboratory garage where the Chemistruckinator is stationed during off days. Into the basement level, or street level I suppose, drives the Chemistruckintor. We hear the radio shut off as the pod bay doors … er … car doors … open. Out steps the horrible driver, Billy Lastname. From the back door on the driver side steps the chaotician and weapons expert, Ian Brundle. From the passenger side steps the team’s mechanic and robotics expert, Dr. Ovi Kintobor. The three move to the thick trunk of the truck and come out carrying a bunch of bags of groceries.*
Billy: Well this has certainly been a laid back month for a change.
Ovi: It’s amazing how a little bit of peace and quiet from the Doof man can make our lives so much easier.
Ian: What do you uh, think he is um, working on?
Ovi: Does it matter?
Ian: Since it will inevitably either involve us doing, uh, stupid things … or getting into a war for the planet … yes.
Ovi: Fair point. I dunno, he was inspired by a song from a band of animated cartoon musicians. It could be anything, or nothing.
Billy: Should we worry about the race?
Ovi: It’s a bunch of bells and a jump. We take jumps all the time at that CAR standard course with the fake volcano. Mount Hold-ma-beer. And bells are just loud and the car is soundproofed so I think the biggest challenge is the other racers. The one in cardboard and the one in the Disney themed copyright infringement are fine. And the beetle would be lucky to even finish a race these days, maintaining speed limits and cheating!
Billy: We’re supervillains … we have a weapon that hypnotizes our enemies into loving us …
Ovi: Cheating POORLY!
Ian: It’s only cheating if you get caught.
Ovi: Still there is that one car that seems to phase through things, the other car with the giant dinosaur skeleton eating things, and the obvious eldritch horror and its himbo driver. They are always a problem.
*They complete their task of putting groceries away and go to plan for the dangerous crews and come up with effective ways to get the golden jock strap. Meanwhile, inside the Sanctum Sanctimonious*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yes yes, it is almost ready. The recruitment video, the website, the FCC and SEC filings, the non-profit paperwork, the tax exemptions, the religious freedom crusaders at the beck and call of DEI! It is almost time to unleash the plan. This will be the greatest plan ever! And not even Perry the Platypus can stop it! For he too will fall under my hypnotic snare and be part of the CULT OF DOOF! But first … we need a baseline of members to entice others into joining. And for that …
*He pulls out a piece of paper, a pen, a stamp, an envelope, and an address book.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I call in a favor … from the one person my invention ever worked on properly…
*He fills out the address book to the Sands Casino in Las Vegas. And he begins writing while dictating what it says as most animated characters usually do.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Dear … Mister Recoba. Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz writing to you with news of our newest venture here at team Angry Mad Chemists sponsored by Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated.
*The jingle plays again for some reason*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: As our most steadfast supporter and ally, I was hoping I could prevail upon you to promote CAR and the AMC on your program. I have included a DVD for you to play for yourself that will give you all the information you need. But I am recruiting for our official fan club, the Automotive Motor Coalition. And CAR has decided to allow me to be the face of CAR’s advertising this month in an effort to recruit. If you could watch the video and play the announcement and video included on the DVD on your program, we would be eternally grateful and allow you to be the first member of the club, at no fee of course. Looking forward to working with you on the launch of our enterprise … Heinz Doofenshmirtz, Grand Poobah of the AMC! PS: Please refer your staff to the launch of our website … cultofdoof.com
*He seals the letter and uses his pressure tube right to the post office, his MAILINATOR, to send the letter. He sits back down, tents his fingers in front of his face … and …*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *coughcoughcough* Oh I need a lozenge.
1. How did your crew ring in the new year?
Billy: I can’t believe how laid back and fun it was with Doof locked in his Sanctum all month long!
Ovi: I quite enjoyed your lackey’s baked goods, though they were a bit soggy.
Ian: The uh, term is um, moist. Mmmm, moooooissssst.
Billy: Stop saying moist! Just pass the leftover sham-pag-n!
2. What dialog is recorded in the vehicle as it is jumping over a huge chasm?
Billy: Adrenaline spiking, cortisol rising, norepinephrine … dopamine … serotonin … I’m on an ADVENTURE HIGH! TALLY … HOOOOOOOOOOO!
3. What is at the bottom of the huge chasm?
Ian: Billy do be careful, um, haha, dry ice can burn the um, skin if exposed. Also, knowing Memaw, there is a blonde man at the bottom you might crush.
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: YES! THE FIRST VICTORY IN THE LONG HISTORY OF THE CULT OF DOOF! And a new golden jockstrap to adorn their mighty leader!
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: This is why I am to be involved in all race preparations …
*It’s quiet. … So quiet. Peaceful. Peaceful and quiet. A little TOO peaceful and quiet … We find ourselves staring at a locked door into the sanctum sanctimonious. Doof has locked himself inside and hasn’t come out since Norm began kissing everyone under the mistletoe and failed to destroy the other teams with his missile toes. Downstairs we hear a garage door open into the evil chemical laboratory garage where the Chemistruckinator is stationed during off days. Into the basement level, or street level I suppose, drives the Chemistruckintor. We hear the radio shut off as the pod bay doors … er … car doors … open. Out steps the horrible driver, Billy Lastname. From the back door on the driver side steps the chaotician and weapons expert, Ian Brundle. From the passenger side steps the team’s mechanic and robotics expert, Dr. Ovi Kintobor. The three move to the thick trunk of the truck and come out carrying a bunch of bags of groceries.*
Billy: Well this has certainly been a laid back month for a change.
Ovi: It’s amazing how a little bit of peace and quiet from the Doof man can make our lives so much easier.
Ian: What do you uh, think he is um, working on?
Ovi: Does it matter?
Ian: Since it will inevitably either involve us doing, uh, stupid things … or getting into a war for the planet … yes.
Ovi: Fair point. I dunno, he was inspired by a song from a band of animated cartoon musicians. It could be anything, or nothing.
Billy: Should we worry about the race?
Ovi: It’s a bunch of bells and a jump. We take jumps all the time at that CAR standard course with the fake volcano. Mount Hold-ma-beer. And bells are just loud and the car is soundproofed so I think the biggest challenge is the other racers. The one in cardboard and the one in the Disney themed copyright infringement are fine. And the beetle would be lucky to even finish a race these days, maintaining speed limits and cheating!
Billy: We’re supervillains … we have a weapon that hypnotizes our enemies into loving us …
Ovi: Cheating POORLY!
Ian: It’s only cheating if you get caught.
Ovi: Still there is that one car that seems to phase through things, the other car with the giant dinosaur skeleton eating things, and the obvious eldritch horror and its himbo driver. They are always a problem.
*They complete their task of putting groceries away and go to plan for the dangerous crews and come up with effective ways to get the golden jock strap. Meanwhile, inside the Sanctum Sanctimonious*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yes yes, it is almost ready. The recruitment video, the website, the FCC and SEC filings, the non-profit paperwork, the tax exemptions, the religious freedom crusaders at the beck and call of DEI! It is almost time to unleash the plan. This will be the greatest plan ever! And not even Perry the Platypus can stop it! For he too will fall under my hypnotic snare and be part of the CULT OF DOOF! But first … we need a baseline of members to entice others into joining. And for that …
*He pulls out a piece of paper, a pen, a stamp, an envelope, and an address book.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I call in a favor … from the one person my invention ever worked on properly…
*He fills out the address book to the Sands Casino in Las Vegas. And he begins writing while dictating what it says as most animated characters usually do.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Dear … Mister Recoba. Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz writing to you with news of our newest venture here at team Angry Mad Chemists sponsored by Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated.
*The jingle plays again for some reason*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: As our most steadfast supporter and ally, I was hoping I could prevail upon you to promote CAR and the AMC on your program. I have included a DVD for you to play for yourself that will give you all the information you need. But I am recruiting for our official fan club, the Automotive Motor Coalition. And CAR has decided to allow me to be the face of CAR’s advertising this month in an effort to recruit. If you could watch the video and play the announcement and video included on the DVD on your program, we would be eternally grateful and allow you to be the first member of the club, at no fee of course. Looking forward to working with you on the launch of our enterprise … Heinz Doofenshmirtz, Grand Poobah of the AMC! PS: Please refer your staff to the launch of our website … cultofdoof.com
*He seals the letter and uses his pressure tube right to the post office, his MAILINATOR, to send the letter. He sits back down, tents his fingers in front of his face … and …*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *coughcoughcough* Oh I need a lozenge.
1. How did your crew ring in the new year?
Billy: I can’t believe how laid back and fun it was with Doof locked in his Sanctum all month long!
Ovi: I quite enjoyed your lackey’s baked goods, though they were a bit soggy.
Ian: The uh, term is um, moist. Mmmm, moooooissssst.
Billy: Stop saying moist! Just pass the leftover sham-pag-n!
2. What dialog is recorded in the vehicle as it is jumping over a huge chasm?
Billy: Adrenaline spiking, cortisol rising, norepinephrine … dopamine … serotonin … I’m on an ADVENTURE HIGH! TALLY … HOOOOOOOOOOO!
3. What is at the bottom of the huge chasm?
Ian: Billy do be careful, um, haha, dry ice can burn the um, skin if exposed. Also, knowing Memaw, there is a blonde man at the bottom you might crush.
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: YES! THE FIRST VICTORY IN THE LONG HISTORY OF THE CULT OF DOOF! And a new golden jockstrap to adorn their mighty leader!
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: This is why I am to be involved in all race preparations …